Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Peter Gross: Toronto Mike'd #735

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

Peter Gross is highy susceptible to a smooth sales pitch. Mike confronts him about his 15 most recent such purchases.

Hi, it's Vince with ShamWow. You'll be saying wow every time you use this towel. It's like a chamois. It's like a towel It's like a sponge. A regular towel doesn't work wet. This works wet or dry. This is for the house, the car, the boat, the RV Welcome to episode 735 of Toronto Mic'd, a weekly podcast about anything and everything. Proudly brought to you by Great Lakes Brewery. A fiercely independent craft brewery who believes in supporting communities, good times, and brewing amazing beer. Pumpkins After Dark. Save 10% with the promo code MIKED. M-I-K-E-D. CDN Technologies.

Your outsourced IT department. Write Barb now at barb at cdntechnologies.com. StickerU.com. Create custom stickers, labels, tattoos, and decals for your home and your business. The Keitner Group. They love helping buyers find their dream home. Write me and let me introduce you to Austin Keitner and Palma Pasta, Peter Gross' absolute favorite lasagna. You got that. Enjoy the taste of fresh homemade Italian pasta and entrees from Palma Pasta in Mississauga and Oakville. I'm Mike.

From TorontoMike.com. And joining me this week is a man who's never seen an infomercial he didn't love. Hi, I'm Peter Gross. I don't always eat lasagna, but when I do, it's palma pasta. You're now the face of Niagara tourism. I know. Isn't that great? I know.

I know. You know. You saw that spot? Yeah, I saw it and I screen capped it. And I saw that spot. You literally emailed me the link and you said, hey, it's out there. And then I screen capped it and I tweeted it. But yeah, you and your grandson are like holding hands.

And it's a great picture of you and your grandson. You know that I have lived for 27,000 days. And that was one of my top five days of all time. It was such a great day. Best day since you hit that trifecta, right? Trifecta, sorry. I hit a $7,000 trifecta. Took my grandson to Niagara Falls. Didn't even realize they had a whole amusement park there. It was a Wednesday. It was a beautiful day like today. I had a whole amusement park there. It was a Wednesday. It was a beautiful day like today.

We went on all the rides. There were no lineups. And then we went because I got this gig. They needed a grandfather and a grandson. They used us for 45 minutes. And they loved what they got. And they said, you're free to go. $1,500.

We got paid $1,500. Each? No. Okay, still. That's awesome because you got paid. You had a great day with your grandson. You're now, like I said, you're the face of Niagara tourism. I've never wanted to visit Niagara more.

Like now I want to. Well, take your kids. Take them on the rides. The go-karts. Do you know about the pandemic? I don't know if it's a good time to take anyone to amusement parks. It's a better time because there's no crowds.

All right. Well, I know I hear your reasoning there. It's like, what did Yogi Berra say? No one goes there anymore. It's too crowded. Yeah,

no one goes there anymore. We joke, we joke just before I press record about how you're, you're going to become the new Peter Silverman. Silverman helps was a big deal to me.

I watched, as you know, I loved my City TV news and I loved, watch it, buddy. Like, I loved Peter Silverman and the consumer advocacy stuff that he was doing. You could be the new Peter Silverman. You could take on this role, I think. That's what we may be going for today. Now, I've been a guest on Toronto Mike

four or five times. I've lost count. I only come because you give may be going for today. Now I've been a guest on Toronto Mike four or five times. I've lost count. I only come because you give me the, the Palma pasta, you know, I don't know. Cause you're not a beer drinker. You don't drink beer,

right? I don't really care about the quality of the show, but all, all the, all the previous, all the previous discussions between you and me have, have had, have been egocentric about what a great television reporter i was what a wonderful

sportscaster i was until 680 are we talking about the same episode fired me for being a shitty sportscaster this but this episode's going to be different i i'm i'm here to uh uh consumer research let's say to talk about products that i've purchased most of online and was I happy was I unhappy okay and let's just give it a little context here which is that you really are susceptible to a good sales pitch is that fair to say like you're well I'm curious so you're curious enough that you will be you're quick to whip out the credit card if it looks like a good deal to you, if it piques your interest. That is part of the equation. The other is I want to know.

I don't care if I get ripped off. I want to know if I'm going to get ripped off. But just like we talked in the past about how you enjoy gambling, but you have a limit. Like Jim McKinney would say, you're not one of those degenerate gamblers who can't stop. Like you do have a limit and then you'll stop. Yeah, when I reach the limit on a credit card. Right. Well, let's get into this.

When I completely run out of all resources, then I stop gambling. So when you see a deal, like I played the Shamwell guy off the top and he'll come up again in this episode. But if you see, if you're, let's say you're, I don't know, you're watching TV late at night and you see an infomercial for something and it piques your interest, you're intrigued. Like you said, you don't mind getting ripped off. Will you pretty much dive in for anything under a certain dollar value? Like do you have like a certain dollar value? If I see, I'll give you an example because it's the first one on my list here. I'm watching TV and one of these infomercial comes on for a set of knives.

There's about 32 of them. There's steak knives and there's paring knives and there's butcher knives and there's cleavers. And I needed some good knives. And so I'm thinking to myself, well, they're going to tell me the cost and if it's 200 no i'm not going to buy it but if it's 39 okay 39 i'm going to buy it so then they tell me that it was i don't know 39 but order now when you get a second set so i so i ordered the knives and um they arrived and and quite frankly i was very pleased because i'm that this is four or five years ago i'm still using the knives they're of reasonably good quality um they

were very close to what was advertised and i've still got this box full of the second set of knives you can i haven't got gone into so okay i got lots of questions though like if you had a need for knives like you like what about going to like a canadian tire or something and buying knives like like it just because it seems strange that you you have this need for something which is a very reasonable thing like i need knives and you like to you like to cook you like to you're kind of a chef and you have a need for knives but you don't then say oh let me see maybe there's a uh i knives, but you don't then say, oh, let me see, maybe there's a, I don't know, I don't know, name a place, like a HomeSense or something. Like, instead, you wait for this TV

with the gimmicky, you know, buy now, we get a second thing free. Well, let me stop you. I didn't wait for it. I'm a very spontaneous guy. Clearly. I was in the moment. Right.

Yeah, if I'd had three or four Mike Boones around me saying, don't put $39 plus $15 delivery on your credit card because you can go to Canadian. Originally, you thought it was $70 for these knives. But that's still, because I did do a great pre-interview with you. If it was $70 for these knives that you're still using five years later or whatever, that's still a good buy to you like this is this is an example of where you you've got uh you got hooked by this two-for-one deal and you've only used one you still have an unopened box with another matching set but they they're good quality you've been using them you've got a lot of love

out of this i you mentioned there's a steak knife uh there's sorry a dozen steak knives a paring knife a cleaver you're using that cleaver you're using all this stuff and you're enjoying them i'll buy a whole chicken and cut it up so the cleaver all right sometimes i need to intimidate my son who's a little lazy so this is like a teaser we have we have we're going to run the gap we're going to run down a list of Peter Gross online purchases. We're going to discuss, was it a good buy or a bad buy? Are you a happy customer? Are you disgruntled? Like, this is going to be fantastic because, like I said,

you're very vulnerable. No, I'll say it like this. You're very susceptible to a shrewd marketing pitch. Yeah. Do you want to invest in TMDS? I think I am investing in TMDS in a sense. It just, um, not that the knives I saw,

that was an infomercial on TV. Yeah. Um, I'm, I'm on Facebook an awful lot now and there's a lot of crap that goes back and forth on Facebook. So a lot of my motivation is just my curiosity. First of all,

I have to want it. If I want it and it's within my price range, even though there's a message in the back of my head that said you're probably going to get ripped off, I'm curious. But you should listen to that voice. That voice exists for a reason. That little voice you're ignoring,

that whole you're going to get ripped off on this, that's probably your intuition telling you at least do a little bit of like what I would call edification. Like check the source, make sure, maybe Google it, see if there's like a whole forum

devoted to getting ripped off by these shitty $70 knives. Like do you do any of that before you make the purchase or you just gamble? I guess the latter. No, I don't do research. But it's information.

And for some reason, I find it satisfactory when I get the item I ordered and it's a ripoff. I'm satisfied that I've solved the equation. Let me interject here. Before I go on to number two, earlier today. Say it in the mic, though, because you're a little bit away from it. You know how old I am. 70 years old. Say it on the mic, though, because you're a little bit away from it.

You know how old I am. 70 years old. So one of the most important things for me is regularity, processing food that goes in one way and comes out another. Yes, that's the one thing I know about you is you seek regularity when it comes to your bowel movement. Thank you very much. That's the doctor's turn.

Am I on a show with Sheldon Cooper right now? So I have to have the Metamucil. Now what I found out, and this is consumer information, is that the life product of Metamucil is exactly the same as the Metamucil, but about 20% less. So I'm at Shopper's Drug Mart today, and I buy the large... Life brand. ...1,000 grams life version. It 32 plus tax okay later in the day i'm at no frills because i have to go shopping at least two times a day

and that's a whole other well that's a whole other episode you can get another lasagna for that one and i am very dismayed to find that the exact same product, the exact same size of the Life's psyllium, $24. $8 less. So that pissed me off. But do you do what my wife does? She buys the one at No Frills and she returns the one at Shoppers. I could return the one. Well, that's her move, yeah.

And by the way, good for you. It's always by the no name if it's exactly like a drug. Yeah, they list the elements. So look. Yeah, well, it's like ibuprofen, right? Like you can buy Advil or you can buy the knockoff, the no name. Why pay $10 more for the packaging? Oh, man, that's the most sensible thing I've ever heard from you.

So before we get, so we've just kind of talked about number one, you bought these knives, cleaver, paring knife. You consider this a good buy. You thought they were about $70, even though today they went down to $39. We can clarify that. If it was $39, it was $15 delivery in U.S., then it came to $70. And at least you bought this online. Online?

Or was it a television thing? It was a television thing. But you bought it. Yeah. And it arrived, and you've been using it for five years. Yeah, the important thing is they arrived. In you're in the gambling world, you won. Okay. And number two, so very happy with the knives. That one worked out good. Okay. So

before we continue, because we're going to dive deep into this and I'm fascinated by this, as I am fascinated by many of your wonderful qualities, Peter, as I wrote on Twitter, I don't really want to know somebody who doesn't like Peter Gross. Like, to me, this is like, what do you think of Peter Gross? I don't like him.

I don't want to know you. There's a great review of Gallagher and Gross Save the World. Tell me. No, it's a one-star. I was about to ask you about John Gallagher. It's a one-star. A one-star review saying that it's obvious

that these are a couple of has-beens who were once slightly famous and they're dragging out their old material. It's such a terrible review that it is amusing. Do you know what name signed it? Was it by Moses? It was in America. Moses

has slammed the door on me, but I don't want to go into that. I won't press you for details, but I know the details and this shows you what a good friend I am and I'm not going to pester you for the details. So the Moses Peter Gross reunion we've been hoping for is not going to materialize it is not it's done okay what about the what about gallagher and gross like that one person's opinion uh what do they know like i love you guys together uh last we talked we hadn't had much luck uh getting gallagher to respond and kind of record. Any updates?

Anything going on with Gallagher and Gross? Gallagher came out of his coma sometime last week. Coincidentally, on the day that was the one-year anniversary of the first launch of Gallagher and Gross. Did I wake him up with that email? Man, he's got some kind of relationship with this Weckerle guy. He's a big... Michael Weckerle bought the Elmo combo.

Yeah, put $25 million into it. And so John's trying to persuade Mr. Weckerle that Gallagher and Gross should be sponsored by the Elmo combo. So sponsored by the Elmo or produced by the Elmo? Because they have a state-of-the-art recording studio. That would screw you out of your cut. Well, I would drive John to Elmo myself. I love you guys so much.

That's business. I can't compete with Michael Weckerle in his $25 million studio. I think it's a tremendous way of promoting the new Elmo combo if he's poured that much money into it, but we'll see what happens there. You've already spent $25 million. What's another $5 million on Gallagher and Groves Save the World? $5 million. Gallagher was was asking how much do we ask per episode and what was the answer oh i i said i think i said if we do four or five we should ask for

five six seven hundred dollars he goes well no no no no it's got to be way more than that okay well keep me uh keep me uh updated i'm naturally curious how the uh michael weckerly courting of gallagher and Gross saved the world. Because this is not the first time another podcast enterprise tried to pry Gallagher and Gross saved the world from my loving hands. This happened before, right? Do you remember that story? We've never told this story before. I don't even remember the name of these people.

But there was another network that tried to seduce you and John. Yeah. And I think it was pretty close. I was ready to say goodbye to you guys. I was going to lose you to a rival network, and it never happened in the history of TMDS. And it was like, oh, I kind of like doing that show, but it's a free country.

John's big problem was getting here, because he's up in North York and you're in we can do zooms so John Gallagher is alive and well we don't know how well he is but he's alive how are you doing?

last time you dropped by you told us about your stroke have you had another stroke since then? I have to ask the tough question I can tell you that i wore a heart monitor for a month um because they basically advised me that about one out of six strokes originates in the heart some kind of blood clot that travels from the heart to the brain and um i i'm going to sound like one of trump's doctors i I don't believe that they found any information to lead them to think that,

because there's really nothing wrong with my heart. Apparently there's something wrong with my brain, but that... I could have told you that. Yeah, that's information that's been available for dozens of years. Well, this episode's evidence that there's something wrong with your brain,

because as we'll learn, you're pretty much gambling with online and infomercial... You call it gambling. I call it research. When you click submit, you're pretty much gambling with like online and infomercial. You call it gambling. I call it research. When you click submit with your credit card number in the field and you click submit or buy, whatever, at that moment, you actually don't know you'll ever see this product. But you press the button to find out.

Like that's your way of finding out. Let me give them money, be it 70 bucks or whatever. Let me give them money and then I'll find out. Like, that's your way of finding out. Let me give them money, be it 70 bucks or whatever. Let me give them money, and then I'll find out whether this actually results in me getting some product. Like, to me, that's gambling. Because, like, when I shop online,

which is not too often, but, you know, I do shop online, I always, like, see where am I buying from. Like, is it bestbuy.com? Like, I always check where I'm buying from to see is it reputable? Do I trust from? Like, is it bestbuy.com? Like, I always check where I'm buying from to see, is it reputable? Do I trust them? Like if it's Sketchy McSketcherson's blog or whatever, and he's, you know what I mean? But you don't have this concern. See, what you have to understand is that the experience to me has always been way more

important than the cost of the experience. So it's an experience. I'll look at something and I'll say, I don't know about this, but I would like to have that if it's exactly as it's illustrated. And there's only one way to find out. Exactly. You got to cough up the money and see what happens. We spent like 45 minutes and we're up to number two now. I know, I know.

But since I don't get you in my backyard every day, although maybe if I invited you every day, I could get you here, because you get a pomegranate pasta lasagna, which you love, and the beer, which is wasted on you, because you don't appreciate the fresh craft beer from Great Lakes Brewery. I'm sure it's delightful.

I'm sure you can give it to someone who would love it. Okay, and they're wonderful sponsors, and it really is delicious, and thank you, Great Lakes. Did you ever cross paths with Rick Moranis when he was in Toronto back in the day? One of my loveliest moments was Rick

Moranis and Dave Cohen? Dave, his partner. Oh, Thomas. I'm sorry. And they were being interviewed for entertainment. And just out of the blue, they both looked at the camera and said,

now it's time for horse races from Woodbine, which was my line in my sportscast. So that's your Rick Moranis. Okay. I was going to ask you about him, but I didn't know if you guys were friendly, but you were, how friendly were you with JD Roberts?

Friendly? Yeah, friendly enough to say hello. Now he sits with his mask in the first row asking insinuating questions of the president. I was curious if you guys had a relationship of any sorts beyond the, oh, we work for the same guy. I'm sure I've crossed paths with him. I'm sure we chatted.

That's all I can say about him. And the final question, this comes from a fan of yours who signs off as Barrett Real Estate. But I must say, if you're an FOTM and a listener of Toronto Mic'd, the only real estate agent for you is Austin Keitner. So write me. I'm mike at torontomike.com. If you're looking to buy and or sell in the next six months, just let me introduce you to Austin. It would mean a lot. Just say, introduce me to Austin and let me do that and have a conversation with Austin.

But back to Barrett, who's a big fan of yours, ask him about his HPI account, although he probably does better than me. So do you have, do you spend money with your HPI account? Yeah, yeah. Your HPI account is a method

of putting money in and then you can make bets while you're watching TV. It's a really sophisticated, excellent betting. It's not so much an app. It's on your computer. It's on your phone. It's just funny. I think back to the 60s when my father went to the racetrack and there were no tracks being pumped in. You couldn't bet other racetracks. In fact, there were no tracks being pumped in. You couldn't bet other racetracks. In fact, there were no monitors.

So everyone had a set of binoculars around his neck. And you went and you played the first race. And then you waited half an hour for the second race. So it's a very different world now. It's a different world. By the way, Garnett Barnsdale just saw the Palma Pasta. And he says it is so good. So I know he was jealous in the past that you preferred the Palma over his lasagna.

But only slightly. And he does a wonderful thing with his lasagna. He puts meatballs in it. So as you're cutting it, you get this surprise meatball. And it turns out I'm friends with Garnet Barnsdale's cousin. I just want to throw that out there. Who is? Her name is Beck.

And she saw me tweet about Garnet Barnsdale one day and said that's's cousin. I just want to throw that out there. Who is? Her name is Beck. And she saw me tweet about Garnet Barnsdale one day and said, that's my cousin. So I just thought I'd say it's a small world after all. I just want you to know it's a small world after all. Okay, we're ready to rock and roll here. I think you'll enjoy this picture later when you're on Twitter. Blair Kerrigan made a picture of you being like a spokesperson for an infomercial.

It's really quite funny here. You can see that. I've got an agent. I'm available. And, yeah, well, you are the spokesperson for Niagara Tourism. He's been getting me work. Okay, good. Okay, so do you want me to prompt you?

Because I have a bunch here, and I can't wait to read the stories. Well, let's just move on and see how many we can get. All right. Tell me about the scrub brushes. Well, every time I cook, I'm a very messy cook. So I saw these scrub brushes. How do I describe them? They're just like silicon.

Okay. About the size of a Nerf ball. So it just fits in your hand with hundreds and hundreds of little tentacles. And so I ordered, I think I ordered four because I assumed after two or three days they would wear down. Well, I've had these for two years. They're the best things ever for cleaning, particularly if you ever burn rice in the bottom of a pot.

Okay, yeah, of course. And no matter how many times I use this the first one yeah it never wears down so uh i'm not sure what i paid for that it wasn't very much let's say 29 dollars um and the verdict says a happy customer so they were great we're two for two here peter uh okay and i have a little audio element to introduce this third one. So let's listen to a bit of the gentleman we heard off the top of the program. Hi, it's Fitz with Slap Chop. You're going to be in a great mood all day because you're going to be slapping your troubles away with a Slap Chop. Now look, here's a potato.

One slap, you got big chunks for stews. Two slaps, home fries in a second. And look at this. If you add a mushroom, the more you do it, the finer it gets. You don't have to switch any blades. Now, you love salad. You hate making it. You know you hate making salads. That's why you don't have any salad in your diet.

Watch this. One slap. Salad. I love pizza too, but once in a while, get the veggies in. At least throw it on top of the pizza. You're going to change your eating habits. Soup, coleslaw stuff. You want five seconds, four or five seconds, it's done. Well, I can see why you're susceptible. I'll just put him in the background here, but this is Vince.

Well, I think his name is Vince Slomo. He's Israeli, but he's known as Vince Offer. And this is the Slap Chopper. Yeah. And this is an infomercial that got heavy airplay. I mean, even I've heard of this guy, and I don't watch infomercials. All right, so you saw the ad here that we're listening to for the Slap Chopper. What was your thought when you saw this?

Was it like, I need that in my life? Yes. Because he made it seem so easy and awesome. Because that's marketing. Terrific commercial. Bad product. Number one, if I use it three or four times, each time

whatever I chop stuck to the blade. So you had to take them out and then move everything off the blade. Number two, it broke after two or three times. This is bullshit, Peter. You got screwed. Do you remember the price of these slap choppers? Not very much. No, I would say under $30 probably.

Okay. And then there's probably like a shipping and handling charge or something like that. Whatever it was, it was wasted money, yes. Okay, so great commercial, lousy product, and there goes our perfect streak of happy customers here. Okay, so this is like a little bit of a public service announcement we can make. Don't fall for Vince Offer's charm. The Slap Chopper is a shitty product.

That is my prognosis on it. Alright, I'm going to shut him up now. He's still going there. Okay, Vince. You're fit for the pit. There he goes. Okay. You're going to love my nuts. You left that part out. You're going to love my nuts.

He got caught with a hooker or something, right? He punched out a hooker or something. Then he got beat up. There's pictures of him. Probably helped his career because I think he's still doing this business. Well, you got to respect the sex trade workers. Respect them.

They're human beings. I do not like hearing about anyone punching out a sex trade worker. Okay. So tell me about the mandolin garlic shredder. Okay, so tell me about the mandolin garlic shredder. I have gone, probably bought half a dozen different instruments for mincing or crushing garlic. Okay?

I mean, for years. Like a press. I've got the garlic press. Right. And if you're going to buy a garlic press, you're better to buy the most expensive one, because the others all fall apart. So I see this mandolin garlic shredder, which essentially is, it looks like a kazoo, but it's got a little pocket that you put a hunk of garlic in and you slide it back and forth. And I call it a mandolin because a mandolin is an instrument for shredding cabbage or onions. And you push the garlic through and it almost liquefies it. Right.

So the good news is... It's like that scene in Goodfellas when they're making the pasta sauce in the jail. And you're kind of like, yeah. Yeah, well, he's slicing the garlic really thin. Well, this really mushes it up. Do you know that guy Paul Servino was in a movie with John Gallagher and Paris Hilton's

in this movie too and I'll have to Google it to get the name. I'm sorry for interrupting you. You continue with your story and then I'll come up with the Rico. Anyways, I'll come up

with the name of this movie with John Gallagher, Paul Servino and Paris Hilton. So, I think I got two of these. I like these. They're very tiny and they both fell apart after a certain amount of use. So a good idea, flimsy product, probably not worth what

I paid for it. The movie is called Repo, the Genetic Opera. Repo, the Genetic Opera. Gallagher's in this. My buddy, humble Howard Glassman is in this thing. Yeah. And Paris Hilton's in this thing. And I mentioned Paul Servino. Okay, so to recap, if I'm understanding this correctly, that you like the premise. It got you to cough up the 19 bucks or whatever plus shipping

because you wanted a good garlic shredder thing. And then this is just flimsy. It just, what do you use now? You just use your grater now? I had another instrument. And I think I ordered it online too. It was a garlic kind of crusher that had a ripcord. So you pulled the ripcord and it spun the blades around.

And I liked that a lot. And I used it a lot. And eventually I broke it. And I've been looking around for one so i got my money's worth out of that i haven't listed it here because i don't even remember where i got and if anyone i know i feel like uh we're setting you up for more sales pitches and we've already established you're quite susceptible but if anyone has any good like maybe something you can pop into uh a winner's or i always think of like a like a canadian tire you

know they sell knives and crap there. Like, like a good solution for Peter and all these problems he has in the kitchen. I imagine your kitchen must have a million things in it. Yeah. There's a lot of stuff. I have a lot of, but what I found recently,

the best thing to do with garlic is to take a clove and just put it against a grater. And, and it, it takes you 10 seconds to, to, you know, against a grater. And it takes you 10 seconds to go back and forth and completely reduce a clove into a pile of nice liquefied garlic. Okay, so no.

Thumbs down to the mandolin garlic shredder. Not major thumbs down. Good idea, but flimsy product. Flimsy. Well, flimsy is no good when you're spending 20 bucks on a garlic shredder. Come on.

Okay, the great Wolfgang Puck. I don't know if he's garlic shredder. Come on. Okay. The great Wolfgang Puck. I don't know if he's great or not, but I've heard of him. Wolfgang Puck. Tell me about the Wolfgang Puck kitchen utensils. This, of all of these things, was probably the best idea. $9.99, and you get this suitcase with, I don't know how many, there were about 10 instruments in. I can't even name them all, but a very good potato peeler, an apple corer, a utensil for removing the kernels off of corn.

Wow. And several other things. And I ended up buying three or four and gave them out as gifts. And I still got bits and pieces of it. But did you buy one and decide it was good? And then you decided to buy more for Hanukkah gifts? I think I bought four at one time. So that, to me, is also dangerous.

If you're going to gamble, I don't know if this will even arrive or if it's any good, don't you buy one, and then if you think, oh, this was great value, then you go buy more. Like, you're buying four off the top. You know what the problem with your theory is, though? Because you have to pay for delivery with each one, whereas if you get four, you're just paying the one delivery cost.

I don't even like paying. I have against my principles to pay for delivery on these things. But okay, so these were Hanukkah gifts, and they were appreciated by your loved ones. Yeah. Okay, cool. And so you think this is a good price and a good tool. If you can get the Wolfgang Puck collection of kitchen gadgets for $9.99,

don't walk, run to wherever you can get it. You're going to love this image. Flash that credit card. You're going to love the image Blair tweeted at us. Absolutely here. I'm just going to take a moment. So we've gone through five. Listen, we're only a third of the way through.

This gets better. I want to just let people know here we are in October. Everyone's talking Halloween. We got our Halloween decorations out. My four-year-old, six-year-old are excited. What the hell is Halloween going to look like this year? You know, because the pandemic, it's here and the numbers are spiking. What the heck is Halloween going to look like? Well, there's one way you can save Halloween for your grandkids or your kids. You got to buy them tickets to Pumpkins After Dark. It's a 2.5 kilometer driving route

in Country Heritage Park in Milton. 150 jack-o'-lantern sculptures, over 7,000 pumpkins. They're bigger and better than ever. There's towers. There's 50 foot long drive-thru tunnels. It's all drive-through, completely safe. You buy tickets at pumpkinsafterdark.com and you use the promo code miked, M-I-K-E-D, and that saves you 10%. So thank you for doing that. Thank you, Pumpkins After Dark. I'm sad because they signed up for four months this year. They

did two months last year, four months this year, but it's coming to an end at the end of the month. I'm going to miss chatting about them. They're good partners of the program. So support Pumpkins After Dark. And if you have a computer network of any size, talk to Barb Paluskiewicz at CDN Technologies. They're there if you have any computer or network issues. They're your outsourced IT department. Barb can be reached at 905-542-9759, but you can also write or email barb at cdntechnologies.com. All right, my friend. Circular charger.

What the hell is that? It's this... Imagine a hockey puck that's been put under... has been pressurized and is now one centimeter tall and maybe four inches wide. Just a circular situation there. Okay. And they claim that this charger, you just put your phone on it and it charges your phone. And I thought that'd be wonderful.

So you just sit your phone on top of this puck looking thing. And then, you know, you went from Wolfgang Puck to this charging puck. Is that intentional? Because I got pucked on this. You got pucked on this one. Okay, so what happened when you put your phone on it? Never worked. Never worked.

Couldn't figure it out. And two problems. These things all come from China. A lot of this stuff comes from China. I don't think the Wolfgang Puck thing did. Well, no surprise there. But this charger came from China, A lot of this stuff comes from China. I don't think the Wolfgang Buck thing did. Well, no surprise there. But this charger came from China and it just comes in a box

with no information. And how long, like first of all, what did you pay for this thing? Probably 30 bucks minimum. 30 bucks for a charger that is, you didn't check, you didn't do your homework.

And then another part of my complaint is here, I had no means of, who do I complain to? Even if I complained to the ad that I saw on the internet, their response was, this is not our department. We don't deal with complaints. So that's a caveat. It's almost like maybe there's like a third party involved. Like you're buying from whoever,

and then they're brokering it from some Chinese warehouse. I think when this is over, if I've discouraged anyone from buying any item, then I've served my purpose. So it never worked. That's a complete rip off. You basically, and I don't know,

you know, you said 30 bucks. Was there also a shipping charge or something on top of that? So, you know, you're close, you're, you're probably up close to 50 bucks or something.

And then, uh, you, you might as well have just, you know, flushed it down the toilet. This thing never worked. You couldn't get anyone's attention when you were dissatisfied. I feel for you, man. But, you know, you think you live and learn, right? This happens to you one time.

And then you learn, oh, I won't do that again. But as we'll learn today. Well, I won't order the circular charger again. Yeah, you are a repeat offender here. Okay, so the circular charger again yeah you are a repeat offender here okay so the circular charger is fit for the pit okay uh tell me about this magic toy truck you got oh it looks fantastic in in the commercial it's this little toy truck and you take a black magic marker on a white piece of paper or bristleboard and you draw a road a circle whatever and then into the video that you're watching the toy truck magically just follows the black line

and this what a great toy for my grandson now this was two years ago so he's three years old okay so i ordered it and the first thing I realized was it looked about a quarter the size in real life. It's like not even an inch long, whereas when you're watching it, you get the impression that this is a three-inch toy, you know, the size of your hand. And it never worked. It just never worked. So similar to the circular charger, this thing just didn't work. Was there any customer service you could call to get your money back?

Fortunately, yes. Yes. Now, I live in Mississauga. To get back the $25, $30 I paid for it, I did indeed drive to Northeast Scarborough, Markham Road and Highway 7 or whatever. Did you need a passport? No. And they were very nice to me, and they reversed the charge on my credit card.

But, you know, did I spend $20 in gas to do that? That's a long way. Anyways, if you see the magic toy truck, because I keep getting the ads for it, don't buy it. The magic toy truck is not a good Hanukkah or Christmas gift for your grandkids or kids. Don't buy it. Avoid that. Okay. The cat bag.

You love cats. I love cats. You wrote a book about cats. I wrote a wonderful book. You still have copies? Yeah. Do a little infomercial for that right now. Anybody contacting Toronto Mike or me,

I will send them a free copy of The Boy Who Turned Into A Cat. You don't make any money if you give them a free copy. No, no, but what am I going to do with 100 of them? I don't know. I thought you could sell them for Christmas stocking stuffers. It's a bestseller, by the way. It's sold more copies than any book written by a son of Marilyn Gross. You don't know that's true.

No, I know that's true because none of my other brothers ever wrote a book. Seriously, though, don't give them away. Why don't you just say contact Peter Gross. How do you want them to contact you? Pgross at Rogers.com. Okay. Pgross. No, I'm afraid people are going to write you and go, here's a good deal on knives.

I get so much junk. Talk to me before you give anyone money. But people can buy this book, which is a great children's book called The Cat Who Turned Into A Boy. See, now you're sounding like Vince Sloan. You want a great book? You're going to love this book. The Boy Who Turned Into A Cat. The Boy Who Turned Into A Cat. It's a fabulous book.

Well, I want to help you out here. So this would be a good stalking stuffer. I know you sold at least one at TMLX5, right, last December? Did you sell at least one? I've sold about a hundred. I know, I mean, recently. Sure, okay. Once a year, I get a residual check.

Now, see, that's exciting. So you know it's a residual, but you don't know how much until you open the envelope. Oh, yeah, like the Seinfeld episode. I don't recall that one. His hand was hurting. He was signing like 32 cent checks or something. Okay, go on. So I open up signing like 32-cent checks or something. Okay, go on.

So I opened up the envelope, and it was like $7.13. At least that's more than the stamp to get it to you. Okay, so the cat bag. Okay, so again, contact Peter, pgrose at rogers.com to get his cat book. But let's talk about the cat bag. What is that? Well, when you have three cats, inevitably you have to take a cat to the vet. And I've got at least three of these portable cages.

And they do not like to go in. You have to push them in against their will. It's very unfriendly. And they tend to piss and shit in them. Right. The cat bags are just a canvas bag with a zipper and a place for the paws and the head. And it's way easier to get the cat into it. And once he's in it, because his legs and his, he feels like he's not entombed, but

he can't go anywhere. And so I'm very happy with these. Whatever I paid for them, they lived up to their billing. Okay, I got you. Like it's a big sock for cats or whatever, like a cat bag. Okay, so I don't have a need for that, but it sounds like you're pleased with the purchase and it does what it promised to do.

Okay, good. So we're back on a winning streak here because we had a rough go there with the charger and the toy truck. Let's keep with the feline theme. Okay, so yeah, good, good segue. so tell me about the cat dishes you bought well to be quite frank i thought that that this was uh a real come on that i was really being overtly seduced the claim is that these cat dishes are articulated so that they are tilted towards the cat in other words all our lives we've been feeding our animals

with flat dishes on the ground that causes them to bend their neck and gives them serious spinal problems. So we're solving a problem that doesn't exist here. So I put out for that. I don't remember the price. It wasn't very much, but I do like them a lot.

Okay. And they clean very easily. So you use these every day so yeah i i it's it's their main and your cats are no longer complaining about neck pain no no no no i i had a couple of my cats were in traction for several months to solve the problem but not anymore do you remember the price for these cat dishes? Because it seems like you could have, like... I would say probably $19.99 plus. You say that like it's a good deal, but I always think, okay, so this is just dishes for your cat to eat from.

$20 actually seems expensive to me for cat dishes. Like, you know... They're articulated. Yeah, the angle, you know, you could have... What price do you put on your spine? My spine or my cat's spine? They're articulated. Yeah, the angle, you know, you could have, you know. What price do you put on your spine? My spine or my cat's spine? Okay, but you're a happy customer and your cats are happy with this purchase.

Yeah. Okay, we're on a winning streak here. Tell me about the sticky wall hanging things. Yeah, I'm calling them sticky wall hanging things. I don't know what to call them. But so I'm seeing, I have, I like to put stuff on walls, okay? I've actually won a number of RTNDA awards for brilliant sportscasting. Congratulations.

Okay, which is why I was fired from 680 News for being a crappy sportscaster. You fell asleep on the job. So I'm proud of those. And so I've been looking for ways to hang them. So these are hangers that have a very sticky substance. And you put it on the wall, and then there's a hook to put your thing on. Right.

And the selling point to me was they were showing how it will hold a bowling ball. Well, a bowling ball is like 10, 11, 12 pounds, right? Right. Even if you take your kid bowling, they have seven and a half pound balls for little kids. So if it holds a bowling ball, it'll hold a pound and a half. So I get these and probably way overpriced whatever I paid because there might have been a dozen of them in the package.

And I hang up one of my RTNDA awards for brilliant sportscasting. Yeah. And an hour later, what do I hear? Oh, no. It fell off the wall. And did it break your award? No, it didn't break the award. But it wouldn't hold a one or two pound piece of wood.

No, you got ripped off. You got ripped off. I did. You know, I feel like I need to call, add Peter Silverman to this call. I got to Zoom with him right now. He can talk to you. By the way, did you listen to the Richard Southern episode? I did.

I thought Richard was particularly good. He was very amusing. He was very sharp. You seem surprised. He's not normally so sharp. No, I've actually thought he's a pretty... My problem with Southern is he used to come in between my sportscasts and ask me about my compulsive gambling and abuse me for it.

That's like making fun of someone for their disease. Yeah, exactly. Not nice, Richard. I'm fond of Richard. That was an excellent show. Okay, good. Because I know we gave you a shout out on that show. Yes, because you famously fell asleep while waiting.

How many times do you have to bring that up? All right. So the sticky wall. There was nothing in my contract that said I had to be awake when it was time for me to do my sportscast. This is going through various levels of court jurisdictions right now. The sticky wall hanging thing is a ripoff. Yes. And whatever you paid, it was too much.

Exactly. Very off. Yes. And whatever you paid, it was too much. Exactly. Very disappointing. Okay. See, you had, I guess you keep repeating these same mistakes again, but we're not done yet. Tell me about the bag of towels. And by the way, the sticky wall hanging thing, the bag of towels, these are infomercials or are you just like surfing the web and you see an ad or something? These are all, I see these things on Facebook.

Okay. Not a good, no, No more buying things off Facebook. What are you, my father? Someone's got to step up and give you this advice. You're missing the point. I've pointed out a few of these things that I'm really happy with. Listen, I think if you were my father, if you were my father, I would basically, seriously, I would look in the eyes and say,

I care about you. And where am I going with this? Oh, I need a moment here. I would tell you, don't buy anything from Facebook, even if it seems like a great deal. It might be a good deal, but it's not worth the risk. Let me put it this way. Yeah. Okay.

You have this wonderful wife. I do. Okay. I'm very lucky. Monica, yes. Okay. Did you have any girlfriends before that didn't work out? Sure, of course. I had a marriage that didn'm very lucky. Monica? Monica, yes. Okay. Did you have any girlfriends before that didn't work out? Sure, of course. I had a marriage that didn't work out. My point exactly,

okay? So if I were to say to you, well, you shouldn't have gone out with any of those women because you knew it wasn't going to work out. The things that I get that please me overwhelm the disappointment of the things that don't please me but i also know uh you're not a uh filthy rich man like you don't have large swaths of of disposable income burning holes in your pocket that you could you know i mean like money money's a too tight dimension as the song would say so you don't have hundreds of dollars to just uh gamble on these online purchases. Trust me, my actual horse gambling is multiple times what I've spent on these items. And if anybody out there gambles on horses or is interested in Southern Ontario horse racing in particular, is there any

podcast that would be like a good resource for them? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a thing called the Down the Stretch podcast. Seriously, I really do love Down the Stretch. It's a very well-written and edited and very interesting podcast full of good information. I guess I told you when the Queen's Plate was on my television, we all picked a horse. And my daughter, Morgan, who's only four years old,

she loved the name Mighty Heart and she said, that's my horse. And then we learned, of course, that Mighty Heart had one eye, which made Morgan love it even more. And that horse won going away, like blew away. Oh, he was sensational. It was the second fastest time ever for Queen's Plate.

Amazing. And then fast forward a few weeks or whatever we're watching the preakness and we do the same thing we all pick a horse it's fun for the family and morgan picked the winner again uh so she's picked two winners in a row just throwing it out there if you want to have a chat with morgan before you go well okay since you bring i have a 10 30 a.m appointment to phone jos Josie Carroll tomorrow to talk about Mighty Heart because on October 24th, Mighty Heart is going to run in the breeder stakes at Woodbine, the third leg of the Triple Crown. And if he wins, he sweeps the Triple Crown, which is a really difficult thing to do. Well, awesome. Let her know that Morgan is rooting for Mighty Heart there.

Okay, cool. Now, we went through the bag of towels. Now, I want to ask, yeah, bag of towels. That's where we are, right? Just as an aside, in 19, I think it was 1983, I went to the Preakness. Do you remember John Saunders? Are you kidding me?

Of course. John Saunders was the sportscaster at WMAR, and he got me on the roof of Pimlico Racetrack for the Preakness with a pass, and I bet $700 US on a Canadian-owned horse called Sonny's Halo, and Sonny's Halo was backing up around the far turn and finished far out of it. So I point that out, that I lost more on Sonny's Halo at the Preakness in 1983 than collectively I've paid for all of these things. Okay, you sold me.

Stop berating me for wasted money. But the bag of towels. You know, I don't recall ordering these. I may have. I'm not doing any drugs these days so I don't get into situations where... Knowing your history, you probably did.

No, I probably did order them. Right, yeah. So this bag comes, it really was the size of one of those bags of mini chocolate bars. And each one of these things is a tightly wrapped little one-inch square. And when you open it up,

it's a dried towel that expands. And when you put it in water, it's a towel. Okay. So kind of handy in your car if you spilt something. Nice to have around. You say so. I've got like 30 of these, and I've never used any of them yet. Wow, okay.

So it must have been a hell of an ad, basically. It was a hell of an ad. My note here says, I hope they didn't cost me too much because I don't remember ordering them. Maybe if people want to buy those from you as well. You know what these would be good for? These would be good for promotional giveaways. I think I have a CFTR.

They're tight. It's a round little thing, isn't it? Yes, okay. If we were in a basement studio, I'd reach back and show you. But Evelyn Macko gave me a 680 CFTR like that. You're right. It's really tightly packed, like a little puck almost, speaking of pucks. I haven't opened it, but I guess it becomes

a towel. But you bought a bunch of these. I've been meaning to. In fact, I don't even think I've transferred any of them to my car because that's where things get spilled and it would come in handy. But yes, I bought that on the internet. Oh boy.

Okay. So let's talk about, uh, your pool gizmo, a pool gizmo. For, for nine years in a row, unfortunately not this year,

I've taken my children and my grandson, uh, on a cruise. And one of these ships that we've gone on two or three times has, has a bar with a pool table. And my daughter likes to shoot pool with me and we're both dreadful, but it's fun. Um,

who's texting you over there? Is there anybody, anybody I know? Mike Apple. Oh, Mike Apple from six 80 website, Toronto Mike on Twitter. So Mike Apple is,

can you ask Apple if he would come on Toronto Mike I've asked him what did he say well I don't think I've actually formally asked him he needs to be schmoozed he'd be a great guest he's very funny and palma pasta lasagna and sticker you

Toronto Mike stickers this is the big thing if he comes, I'll give him. Three for one. Because StickerU.com produces these quality stickers, and I got a whole bunch of Toronto-miked ones, and they're fantastic. Well, he must be listening now. Well, you're live on Periscope right now,

so I'm not surprised. He's got a very fragile ego, so you need to stroke him a lot. But he's one of the most opinionated guys in certain areas if you which areas getting going on uh tattoos people who have tattoos oh he doesn't like tattoos no he doesn't like tattoos particularly the ones that go up the neck and along the face like mike tyson yeah they're scary right yeah um he um he has a thing called the pendulum theory which i'm not sure i can explain but but just how um we've gone in the opposite direction

from being racist to being terrified of being racist. It's true. An unnamed guest used the term ghetto blaster. Okay? This is what we used to call back, you're older than I am, you'll know this, I feel like I'm talking to a kid or whatever, but the boom boxes,

I would now refer to them as boomboxes, but we called them ghetto blasters. And in a conversation, this gentleman used that term. And when this person's wife listened to his appearance, informed him that he used the term, he was really worried about what people would think of him that he used the word ghetto blaster. This might be the type of thing that Mike Epple's referring to.

Maybe, yeah. Just how we're so careful about what we say. Yeah, you're careful. And in fact, today I was very careful to refer to this weather we're having today. I said it's like summer redux. You can't say Indian summer. I don't think so. Like I personally. You can't say Indian summer. I don't think so.

Like, I personally... You can't say Indian giver. You definitely can't say Indian giver. You can't say I got gypped. Oh, because gypsies. Oh, and you can't say I got jewed out of a dollar either. You never could say that one. That one I don't think was ever okay.

But you're right. A lot of these expressions we've used now, you need to look at what they mean and are they appropriate. My son put on the football game the other day, Sunday I guess it was, and I saw the Washington football team was playing and there's something different, right? Things, you know, we change. We evolve.

I had a rotating line that I used to use every time the Raptors beat the Knicks that they paddywhacked the Knicks. And then was advised that that was that had a racial undertone to it oh like a anti irish sentiment uh yeah you don't want to fuck with the irish that's uh not cool okay so very interesting but yeah so hello mike apple if you're uh watching so we were talking about i shoot pool with my daughter occasionally and there was this pool gizmo if you can uh watching so we were talking about i shoot pool with my daughter occasionally and there was this pool gizmo if you can imagine all it looked like was a set of brass knuckles but over the knuckles was a little kind of recessed area that you could lay the uh the cue stick on right and i thought oh she'll love this again it wasn't very expensive it may

have been under 15 and it finally arrived and she showed up one day and i said i got something for you and she says what's this i said it's for playing pool with and she says well i could never use that so it's just sitting there doing nothing in my house oh peter yeah okay so that's the one thing is i see you're you're uh it's you started with the knives and uh oh by the way i originally I was thinking, I overthought everything, and I thought, hey, maybe we should have a little bit of a knife song while we talked about the knives. You have a knife song?

Just a little knife music here. See, you needed knives. You are handy in the kitchen. You're often cooking, and you needed good knives. You needed a bunch of knives. So now you're starting with, you have a legitimate, reasonable need for something, and you saw a good deal, and you bought it, and you were happy. But now you're buying, it seems like a lot of these purchases recently I'm hearing from you are, you're solving problems that don't exist like you don't actually you have to start with do i have a need for this but you don't have the need you just sort of want

to you got taken in by the well as we carry on i believe i have a need for some of these all right well yes you're right i'm spontaneous i'm impulsive and sometimes i i end up getting things however let me make another point here. Yes, please. Mr. Brune. These things take six weeks to arrive. When they arrive, I've completely forgotten that I've ordered. So it's like getting a birthday present late in the mail. And there's this couple of minutes of excitement, of anticipation. What is it?

What is it that I got? Because in that moment, you've already paid for it, and you've already forgotten you paid for it, so it's almost like a free gift is at the door. Exactly. That's demented, man. I've had a few things show up. I open it up, and I go, what is it?

Because there's no information when they come from China. They didn't make this list either, those unknown things that showed up and you can't remember buying. Okay. So your daughter had no need for this pool gizmo and it's still kind of collecting dust in your home somewhere. Okay. Tell me about the silicone cooking mat.

Okay, this is a big thumbs up. And it's funny because I saw this and I was attracted to it and I ordered it. It showed up six weeks later. I'd completely forgotten that I'd made this transaction. And when I opened up the package, it's an orange, imagine about 18 inches by 12 inches

silicone sheet with hundreds and hundreds of little tiny pyramid things. And I had to finally go online and ask questions, and I finally determined it's a cooking mat. You put it in your aluminum pan and put your chicken on it. And what it does is it collects all of the juices and sustains the integrity of the pan.

And then you just rinse it off. I've made a hundred things with this. It's a good cooking mat. It's a really good cooking mat. And you find that the bottom of the meat doesn't stick to the pan because the air gets in and out. So I don't know what I paid for it. Not very much.

I'm very happy with it. I'm a happy customer with that. Used it many, many times. It's, it's one of these things that like the silicone scrub brushes seems to take a lot of abuse and keep sticking. One more song.

I loaded up for you here. See if you can name that tune. Some canCon. It's coming to me. We should just have you come over every week to see how long it takes you to name that tune. I'll just pick popular songs like this.

Is this Brian Adams? Correct. Do you know the name of the song? I remember the song but it's not coming. Okay, we're going to get to the chorus here. What a jam this is, Peter. Cuts like a knife. Correctamundo.

Okay, well, let him say it, and then I'll bring her down. There we go, okay. So the silicone cookie mat, thumbs up. Okay. Only a couple more left here. I'm almost sad to see this list come to an end, but tell me about, you love your cats. Tell me about the cat scratching house.

Well, this was like $35. Imagine sort of a post covered with rug material. And at the top of it, a little house that a cat could go into. And my cats love to go into boxes and stuff. And I have a scratch pad in my room that the cat, one cat particularly, uses a lot. So I thought, $30? Because you see these in the PetSmart for $99 or something. So I ordered it last February.

February 2019 or 2020? Not that it really matters. But okay, 2020. And every day I stand forlornly at my door. Oh my God. Hoping for the delivery truck will bring it. Okay, is there any number you can phone? No, I, first of all, I'm very... Oh, there's squirrels. Delivery truck will bring it. Okay. Is there any number you can phone? No. First of all, I'm very... Oh, there's squirrels.

There's squirrels. We're fighting. I'm distracted. Squirrel. I get distracted, too. I'm careless when I order. I don't even print the order out, so I have no idea. Yeah, but don't they ask for an email address, and then they send you the receipt via email?

Like, it's probably in your... You probably should do. I'm going to give you another tip here. I know your eyes are rolling. If you get a Gmail account, get a Gmail account and you never have to delete an email again. You get over a gig of space. You'll never need it all. And then you can just easily search your Gmail for all these receipts.

Well, even when I found the receipts, they're so hard to get hold of. Okay. So that was, I got ripped off major because I didn't even get the lousy product. Yeah, that's unfortunate. Okay, so the cats never got their house, and every day you're looking for that to arrive. If it's February. Well, I made the mistake of telling them, too. Oh, man. Okay, the last time you

bought something, it was a bag to put them in, so they're not too happy when you buy shit for them. But they do enjoy your angled bowls or whatever. The articulated bowls that prevent them from twisting their necks. Stainless steel dumpling

maker. I just thought I'd make dumplings. If you can imagine, it's kind of like a clam thing. It's got a hinge in the middle, and the top part of the clam goes on the second half and presses the dough together and whatever you put in the dough, and then you've made your own dumpling. Okay, so you saw an ad

for this, and you said, oh, I would like to make my own dumplings, and it's like 20 bucks. And how did it go when it arrived? Was it everything you hoped it would be? It never arrived. See, I put these two together. The last two. Okay. So these are the two that, so how long ago did you order this?

I'm making your point. Oh, at least six months ago. You know, yeah. You probably ordered this from an ad you got served up on Facebook. Yeah. You know, they're preying on you. Like, they're literally pre got served up on Facebook. Yeah. You know, they're preying on you. Like they're literally preying on you and you're biting like a fish. You see that lure and it's so like glittery and it's shiny.

You're chomping down and now you're gone, man. You're getting, you got to stop the insanity. Do you remember that? That was an infomercial, right? Stop the insanity. Susan Powder. Do you remember this? That was an infomercial, right? Stop the insanity. Susan Powder. Do you remember this woman? Does this ring a bell at all? Half of what you say, I don't comprehend, but that's okay.

And you're not, you're not, it sounds like you're not going to change your, you're not going to change your ways. Like, uh, I've ordered fewer things lately because I have been burned, but back to my point about six or seven of these products really pleased me. And I would go out with sick. I don't know that I've gone out with 16 women in my life, but if I got no Gallagher, if I got the one that proved to be the winning combination,

it would be worth quite frankly, in my situation now, some of my very poor relationships are part of the whole experience of being with women. And I enjoy it all. So I'm not exactly persuaded by you that I've been an idiot. I just don't want you to find yourself living under a bridge or something. Think of the value of this podcast, of telling people that if you order something off of Facebook, there's a reasonable chance it'll never show up.

So you're, yeah, you. There's a reasonable chance it'll show up and be very disappointing. And there's a reasonable chance that it'll be money well spent. So you got a one in three chance. Well, it's, but that's not how it's supposed to work in Canada. Like you're not supposed to have a one in three chance that you'll get what you asked for and it will be as advertised. Like it's not supposed to be one in three chances. Alright, so we're going to close

with me asking you straight up. I don't know if I've ever asked you before, but on Gallagher and Gross Save the World, which is on hiatus right now, we're going to see if Weckerle is going to toss some money your way and that might get John to record again. It sounds like he's holding out for the big bucks. Right? Is that pretty much what's going on here?

So Gallagher and Girl Save the World had an infamous episode about the number of sexual partners you and John have had in your lifetime. And you just made a joke right there about, you know, have you been on 16 dates? Because your number was a reasonable number for a man your age. Where John's number was... Actually, for a man my size and my looks, my number is extraordinary.

And we heard about the supermodels. So that was a story you told. Spend a night with a supermodel a foot taller than me. How many guys out there listening can make that claim? And supermodel, not just model, but supermodel. I said fashion model. Oh, fashion model. But she was stunning.

Absolutely. So you have that. You can tell that story for the rest of your life. So my question for you is when John Gallagher tells us. Just, if Doreen Cole is listening to this, it's all the same. Wow. I think that was her name. Oh, wow.

I'm going to Google Doreen Cole. She was stunning. I'm going to feel like Googling her right now here hold on dorian cole i don't subscribe to the appropriateness of naming someone that you've been to but you just did that yeah i did didn't i oh my god i feel like we should probably not do this because it looks like she's um a strategic leader with 27 years of combined engineering she's in fort m with 27 years of combined engineering. She's in Fort McMurray. Well, I'm not telling you how to spell her name, by the way.

Okay, well, I'm going to bail on this. I'm just going to take a peek at her photo here. Oh, yeah, it looks like she's active here on LinkedIn. I don't want to, I'm going to, oh, my God. And she went to U of T. This is her. Okay, I found her. Did you find her?

Yeah, I did. She gorgeous? I feel like we're doxing her. I'm going to do her a favor and change the topic here. Okay. So when John Gallagher tells us he's been with approximately, if I remember correctly, 750 women approximately. What number do you remember?

He said the same as Barry Bonds' home runs. Yeah. Yeah. So what was it? 750? Let's say 750. Okay. Let's go back.

You know, once you get up there, what's the difference? I need the straight up, but he's never going to hear this. Do you believe him when he tells you he has been with 750 women? I'm inclined to believe that he's been with an extraordinary number of women. You remember the anecdote about uh after the city pulse newscast would run between 10 and 11 it would repeat again on cable 24 back in the early late 70s and early 80s whatever and he would go to a bar and ask them to maybe yeah like you're looking at late 90s i think so he would go to a bar and he would ask the barkeep to change the channel on the set to show the replay.

And he would just very coincidentally sit underneath the set when his sportscaster would come on. And that works? Like being a local sportscaster? Because you would know you're a local sportscaster. That will work for you? This is a terrible thing to say. What about a local sportscaster. That will work for you. This is a terrible thing to say. What about a local podcast? There is a certain tribe of women

who make it a point of sleeping with every member of a hockey team, every member of a baseball team. Yeah, Puck Bunnies. Okay. That reference is really... And band members, like you'll hear about this. So...

Groupies. And Gallagher just had a reputation as the bad boy, and the bad boys do well. So whether or not I believe that the total is 700 or 600 or 500, I accept that it's more than mine. It's a greater number than mine. Okay, but there's a big difference between your nine and his 750. My number was not nine.

What's your number? I can't remember. I thought it was like nine. I'm going to go with 15. Okay, okay, okay. This is pathetic. I've actually sat down from time to time, and I've written the names of the women.

Doreen Cole. I'm missing, I'm missing. Peter, that was fantastic. You earned your Palma Pasta lasagna. Have I said that it's fantastic lasagna? Say it now. They love the fact that they're now feeding you. They really love that you love their lasagna so much.

You know what? We've given out my email. Let's give out my address. I want to join the Palma Pasta lasagna so much. You know what? We've given out my email. Let's give out my address. I want to join the Palma Pasta Lasagna of the Week Club. It just is fantastic lasagna. And that brings us to the end of our 735th show. You can follow me on Twitter.

I'm at Toronto Mike. And Peter is at Peter the Gross, named after the famous racing horse owned by the famous David Cassidy and named Peter the Gross because of a suggestion made by FOTM Perry Lefkoe. Did I get all the info right? Yeah, you did. Thank you. Our friends at Great Lakes Bre brewery or at great lakes beer palma pasta's at palma pasta by the way next time you took a photo and you texted it to me just tweet it at palma pasta and say look what i made and it's fucking fantastic sticker you is that

sticker you the kaitner group are at the kait Technologies. Pumpkins After Dark are at Pumpkins Dark. See you all later this week. I have Elephants and Stars. Do you know what that means? That's a band. They're coming over and then we got another Pandemic Friday on Thursday night. See you then.

You know that's true because everything is coming up this podcast has been produced by tmds and accelerated by rome phone rome phone brings you the most reliable virtual phone service to run your business and protect your home number from unwanted calls. Visit roamphone.ca to get started.