Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Toronto Mike'd #62

Episode Date: January 14, 2014

Mike and Elvis let their sudden success go straight to their heads.

Welcome to the 62nd episode of Toronto Mike's, a weekly podcast about anything and everything, often with a distinctly Toronto flavour. I'm Mike from TorontoMike.com. Joining me is my brother from another mother, Elvis. And hosting this audio file are the good people at Core Fusion. And hosting this audio file are the good people at Core Fusion. I can't believe you're wearing a mink coat, and I told you to keep our success low-key. It's real mink, too. Do you remember? It's totally real, and it's suede on the inside.

Do you remember that scene in Goodfellas when they did the heist and then they started buying the cars? It's a little hot, but... Maybe I could cash in the coat for a new theme song. You don't like the Tronelike theme song? I'm not a fan. No offense to the artist. Okay, we should do a little tiny, I don't know, podcast reset because I don't know if you look at the numbers. I do. The studio audience is

huge, by the way. It is the biggest I've ever seen it today. It's massive. All joking aside, we have a bunch of new listeners. I don't want to make you nervous. I don't want to change our game up here. I just wore my pants. We actually had a great month. We're having a great January 2014. I'm telling you.

2014 is just shot out of a cannon. I don't know because the last episode before the new year was the Christmas episode, which was actually literally me. It was amazing because it was up until episode 60 we did a couple of weeks ago. The Christmas episode, which was me playing my 10 favorite Christmas songs and talking about each one, was the most downloaded episode in Sean and Mike history. Horrible. True.

Still to this day, it's the most? No, it got passed. So that was December 2013. And then we did episode 60, you and I, a couple of weeks ago. And that became the most popular episode in Toronto Mike's history. Look at that. And that's where I get the main coat from. And then you went out and started.

Sponsors of it. CoreFusion is, you know, they're just coming out. They're coming through for us. They're doing a really nice job for us. You know what I like about CoreFusion? They were there at the beginning, okay? Ground floor opportunity. No listeners. pete from core fusion was there all the because mike all the bandwidth you need well i've been consistent as well i haven't

listened to one episode uh to this day uh even though i've been on four i think now so i've been consistent as well don't forget the little people tell Tell me about Mrs. Elvis and her reaction to episode 60. I don't think she's listened to it, to be honest. We've had a really busy couple of weeks at home for good reason. And I don't think there's been enough time. But I'm going to tell her about this episode and number 60. So whenever I'm invited back, I'll give you the update. My apologies.

Tell her the truth, which is that for a brief period period of time we were a top 15 comedy podcast in itunes this is a true story i screencast i thought we were number 14 we were 14 that's so i can say top 14 say top 14 it sounds better there is no top 14 oh we were top 14 my friend we were there's top 10s and there's 15s maybe 20s you know the microwave in my office we we moved into this new satellite office. We got a brand new microwave, and it's one of those new fancy microwaves where you have the turn dial with a digital countdown. I have that downstairs.

Yeah. I guess I have some sort of form of OCD or whatever, or ADD, or I don't know what you would call it. I don't like to set my microwave to 10 seconds. I like to set it to 11 seconds. That's because of spinal tap. But I cannot go to 11 seconds microwave to 10 seconds. I like to set it to 11 seconds. That's because of spinal tap. But I cannot go to 11 seconds with the turn dial. Once I go, it goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

And then the next little thing is 15 seconds. So you go to 15 and you kill it four seconds early. No, I can't do that. You got a ridiculous OCD there. It's brutal. But that's from spinal tap. All the speakers went to 11. All the dials went to 11 in Spinal Tap.

That's where that's from. Subconsciously, perhaps, but I don't relate it to that. And that is one of my favorite, still one of my favorite Simpsons episodes of all time is when Spinal Tap plays Springfield. My favorite Simpsons episode was when they built the monorail and they had the escalator to nowhere. Yeah, Lyle Landley. That was Phil Hartman. That's amazing. Yeah.

Yeah. Great imitation. Love that. Yeah, we built monorails in Brockville, Shelbyville, and they put them on the map. I think we should build a monorail. I really think we should build a monorail here in Toronto. Was that Doug, uh, was that Doug Ford's idea or was it the Ferris wheel? Uh,

I think he, he's a Ferris wheel. I think he's a Ferris wheel. I think Rob was the monorail. They're both great ideas. It's amazing. We need to give them, there's a huge Ferris wheel in London,

England. Yeah. It's called the eye. I know. I saw it, uh, at the Olympics. The worst thing ever.

You know, it never stops. It's so dumb. It's, it's, it's the most ridiculous thing I You know what never stops? It's so dumb. It's the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Who waits in line for that bullshit? I've never been a Ferris wheel guy. I know.

With my kids, I'll go on a Ferris wheel. I have no opinion on that one. And you're up there and you're kind of waving at the world and then you're just waiting for it to kind of go. It needs to go faster. Hey, you want to go faster? I'm a roller coaster guy myself. So you can take the Ferris wheel. I mean, the Ferris wheel will probably bring in some tourists. But hey, you know, are you going to build a waterfront around a Ferris faster? I'm a roller coaster guy myself, so I can take the Ferris wheel. I mean, the Ferris wheel will probably bring in some tourists,

but are you going to build a waterfront around a Ferris wheel? I'm not sure. Monorail. Monorail is a good idea. When I worked at the CNE for three years in my youth, I was located at a game booth directly across from the Polar Express. Oh, good. So I heard that guy say,

so you want to go faster? I heard it 20,000 times a day. I can't wait until you post that picture of you at the... It's the only picture I have. It's a great picture. It's so ridiculous. You look like someone just said, hey, Mike, and he turned around and they took a picture. That was like 1989.

That was 89. And at the end of the day every day at the cne the polar express would play what a wonderful world by louis armstrong and it was like the the sign of to signify the end of another day carneys are such weird people they really are they're just weird people who i don't get it i for me i have no time for the x i really don't well i'm gonna save this well first of all you're you're in oshawa like it that is the x like that is you're the people i see on the midway are all of them they all live in oshawa yeah no like the overlap at rib fest and the cne midway and oshawa there's like in the venn diagram there's a lot of overlap there so the uh i don't

want to i think we're gonna have a cne episode in like august but i will say this from the cne i have a great story about carney's and forever i will love carney's because of something that happened but i don't want to like tell the story now it's an amazing story i'm gonna save it so people have to download episodes until they hear the carney story it's a mid-aug people. Wait for that podcast. Podcast number 125. It's going to just be mint. Did you listen to episode 61 with Bingo Bob?

No, I haven't listened to anything. I thought it was Mrs. Elvis who never listened. No, no, no. That's me. I don't listen to any podcast. So you don't listen to episodes at all? No, I read your recaps. Even when you're, okay.

I read your recaps. I certainly don't listen when i'm on it rosie only listened when she was on it but it used to it used to irk me because she would do like 60 let's say she did 80 of episodes and she'd listen to hers and then i'll go do an episode with you that she would rose did you hear that episode of elvis no i didn't get to it there's something to be said there's i don't know what it is but there's something that you could probably uh get get out of that the fact that she only listened to one she was on and i never listened to any of them well my my sort of explanation is that um

i don't uh i don't like to listen to myself i i've that's a common thing regular listeners will know that i've been on the radio before i as i was like oh did you ever find the uh paid position okay we'll get to that and even then as someone who you know got paid to do that i never sort of tried to get better which is probably why i'm not in the industry anymore even though i love it and it would be my dream job we had a whole andrew stokely and i had a whole conversation about that um so i do i just don't like listening to myself and i my my rationale in my head is well i've heard the show once already because i did it you did hear it yeah i don't need to hear no surprises right i do it for quality control yeah don't expect me to get any better but uh in terms of not listening to the rest of the podcast i guess part of that is sort of me being

an asshole and i think that's kind of what my character, I think, is supposed to be. But two, I guess I just don't have the time. Your character, you mean your person. You are an asshole. Just a horrible, horrible reason for not listening is that I just don't have the time. Given that we're trying to get people to listen

and give up their time to listen to us. I listen to every episode because I feel it's important for me to listen to what sucked and what didn't. The whole thing sucked. That's the whole point. You'd be surprised. The only reason this episode 62 is so much better than episode 1

is because I listen to every episode and I give myself criticism. Then I'll even ask Monica, my wife, because she listens to every episode. And I'll say, what did you think? And the inside radio stuff bores her to tears because she's from Edmonton. So she doesn't know what CFNY is or who Bookie is.

And she doesn't care. So the inside radio bores her. But of course, that also happens to be my favorite part is the inside radio stuff. Mrs. Elvis gives good constructive criticism. She really does enjoy listening. favorite part is inside radio stuff mrs elvis gives good constructive criticism she enjoys she really does enjoy listening i think um you know she's she's like rosie i though i think where she doesn't necessarily want to listen unless i'm on it because she's got some sort of connection even though she knows who you are um but uh hey i'll take that and i'll take her uh she's given

some good constructive criticism over over the i just want her to tell me about 60 and now 62 it's gonna pile up on her I'll let her know now uh just back to the iTunes thing real quick just to say okay so we we hit 14 in the comedy top 14 in the comedy category on iTunes so I I only have access to the the true statistics of the actual downloads I have access to the downloads for all my podcasts and the humble and Fred podcast can we point out first before you get into this that it is not against the charter of rights and freedoms for you not to divulge those numbers i know there's a certain number of bloggers on

your site that feel as though cory it's their their absolute right in order to know what the why do you podcasters never reveal your numbers? If one of us reveals a number, we have a code of conduct. If one of us reveals the numbers, you'll be able to extrapolate that and figure out everybody's numbers. You have no right to the numbers. I see the numbers for my podcast and Humble and Fred. And then I saw their ascent of the iTunes charting

and then mine. So I was able to do a little bit of analysis with regards to correlation between the downloads and iTunes charting and then mine so i was able to do a little bit of analysis with regards like correlation between the downloads and itunes charting so i come i've come to the conclusion that the velocity this is really boring no one's listening anymore but the velocity component is hugely important okay define velocity because when you say velocity it's it's i feel like we should speak a lot faster because then that means that we're going faster in the velocity is higher. Okay, so let's say, because that was episode 60 that took off. I don't think it's typical for anything, be it a podcast, a radio show, or a television show, that they sort of kind of coast along until episode 60 and then they blow up.

Is that a common trend? You know, 60, that's the one where you hook them in. We're building momentum. Yes. So it doesn't matter. Like if every week, let's say you add 10 new subscribers okay fine but if all of a sudden one week you add a hundred new subscribers the the period of time in which that surge occurred that's what drives you up the charts we could pass people who have

way more downloads like what's his name mark maron m curls are going to adam corolla has i don't know how many more downloads than I do. Millions, probably. Maybe. I don't know. He hasn't revealed his numbers, has he? Corey, go sit yourself on Adam Carolla. So, I listen to What the Fuck with Mark Maron.

And it's a good podcast because he gets great guests. Almost as good as Bingo Bob. Almost as good. So, although I have a big guest coming. We'll talk about that in a minute. But so basically, you can sort of pass these guys if you have a kick-ass week or two. Right. And I think that's where I work in a social media environment.

And I think that's true in a lot of different cases. It is about momentum. It's about velocity, as you said. It's a good word. It really is about what you do that week. It's almost like if anyone out there is in sales, you're only as good as you are that month. And then the next month,

everyone is the same shitty salesperson until you prove yourself. So top 14 for one week is great. But it's being the Adam Carollos of the world are in the top five week after week after week. Sure, they maintain it. And then guys like us, we don't maintain it. So we, last thing on this exciting iTunes thing

is that we were in the category comedy. I only put us in comedy because I had put Humble and Fred's in comedy. And then I didn't know where to put us at the time. Like, what the hell is Toronto Mike's going to be about? So I threw it in comedy as like a default. That's a good default, I think. I took it out of comedy.

So when we became number 14 i said wow we're 14 but we're in the wrong i felt we were in the wrong category somebody mentioned in the comments and i said i mean we're in the wrong category what are the category gonna be in a are are we a comedy show i think we make people laugh of course we're funny because that makes being funny sopranos was funny like yeah. Yeah, but that was a drama. Right, exactly. There was funny elements. Have you seen American Hustle? Yes, I have. Would you put American Hustle

in the category comedy and musical? Almost. Because it was. Is that what it was? It was, yes. I don't have a problem with that. I laughed out loud in the theater, which I know isn't necessarily saying very much to the listeners. A lot of dark drama stuff is fucking funny.

A lot of Coen Brothers stuff is really funny. The laugh is real. That really bugged me, that person who said that. Someone said your laugh was fake. Yeah, my laugh was fake. That's the thing. When you start getting new listeners, you start hearing shit.

I was hearing shit. Somebody, and I've deleted the comment, but what the hell am I going to say? Somebody left a comment. I mentioned in episode 61 that the kids were with my ex. Somebody who doesn't know who I am starts

judging me for not death do us parting with my first wife. I saw the comment. I just deleted it. It's 2014. It's like, fuck this. This is the negative to being popular. You get a bunch of idiots listening. This might be the episode where you drop the shirt.

We don't get paid. Do you get more money for a million downloads versus 10 downloads? Yeah, my contract is actually written based on downloads. I need to renegotiate. That's why Corey is actually my agent. That's why he wants to know the download numbers. Corey's in. He needs to figure out how much to...

I'll tell you later where Corey works. Do you want to know what category this podcast now belongs to? Oh, you changed it? What the fuck? I changed it. We're starting again. Alternative Lifestyles? Correct. LGBT.

Last week, Bingo Bob was on. He works at Proud FM and i was trying to make sure to f up the initials so what okay we're now in there's a category called uh called people and culture so we're in a category called people and culture fake laugh i'm wearing a hoodie and you're wearing tear away track pants and we're in culture category? Are you fucking crazy? Wow. In Etobicoke.

Half the studio audience just left. I haven't finished yet. People in culture. What the fuck? There's a category called people in culture. I'll give you people

since we are people but culture is what we are not. I said someone someone i said that fearless fred was an artist we were talking about fearless fred we'll get this in a minute an artist an artist yeah because i said not all art is like highbrow like like starry night or whatever and then they give me more reason to hate you philly bob i can't remember the names now but a bunch of people got on my case for calling fearless fred an artist we're people this is culture but there's a sub directory we're in called uh it's called personal journals and the reason i picked it is because this this american life is in there and my goal my objective with toronto mic is to create the toronto version of

this american life this new toronto that's where i'm going with this this new toronto mic is to create the toronto version of this american life this new toronto that's where i'm going with this this new toronto life torontonian life oh my god people wouldn't call it so we're in a subcategory of a main category that's not good marketing well let's see how we do oh we're uh you just picked the shittiest most obscure category so that we can you know i honestly fuck it was anyways. iTunes is ridiculous Mac nonsense. You don't need iTunes to listen to this podcast. I might be getting a Mac for work. As my work computer, I might be getting a Mac.

I'm very excited. Last note on podcasts is I received... How many complaints do you think I received about your blog sucks being cancelled? So we announced this big news two weeks ago. Your blog sucks was on hiatus. I'm going to call it cancelled. It weeks ago your blog sucks was on hiatus i'm gonna call it it's not canceled it's on hiatus how many complaints do you think i received via email twitter or personally like voice to voice just guess my ego wants to say half a dozen uh my brain

wants to say you got one i got zero complaints okay not one email not one comment people love that shit though in the comments i know but no one's complained it's gone you know what it is now because i'm still here because the culture is still here this fucking episode do you think i'm a smart guy like do you think i'm a reasonably bright person no so last week's like i i like to bike every day at lunch. It makes me feel happy and good. And last week, I couldn't bike at lunch because it got like crazy cold and then got snowy. And the conditions were such I couldn't bike. Yes.

So yesterday, I biked again. So I get out there. I'm having a great bike. And I do my normal path, which means there's a park. It's called Sam Smith, Colonel Samuel Smith's a park it's called sam smith colonel samuel smith park and it's in like southwest toronto and i hit the uh opening to this park like normal normally i bike through the snow or whatever that's in the way because they don't clear this freaking path but this time i saw it was kind of icy so i have this moment where i

decide i'm gonna go for it okay i'm gonna i'm not gonna go very hard i'm just gonna go really slow and gradual and go through this icy part'm just going to go really slow and gradual and go through this icy part. Then I get to a street and I can bike like normal. I think it took me like two seconds, maybe one bicycle, one pump of the pedals before basically I slid 40 feet. I drop and I slide along this ice.

It's like an ice rink and I slide. It didn't really hurt that bad, but I slid like 40 feet, me and the bike, on this very wet, slippery ice. And then I slide. It didn't really hurt that bad, but I slid like 40 feet, me and the bike, on this very wet, slippery ice. And then I realized I'm stupid. I'm not a smart man because there was no way I was going to be able to get across on my bike of the rubber

tires. Why don't you get a trainer? Why don't you get a... Oh, like Cheryl? What are we talking about? What are you talking about? No, like a trainer that you put in your house so you can ride your bike but it's... Oh, because I'm stupid. I like to be outside. I get it, but then you're not going to fucking tell yourself.

Well, I went out yesterday and today. I had great rides, but I did have that crazy fall yesterday, and I just wondered if you thought I was a smart guy because I don't think I'm very bright. No. Get a trainer. Get one of those things where you can just cycle in your house. Do you have a lot of ice near your home? There is a lot of ice but uh i've been

able to click my driveway is completely bone dry there's nothing no condensation on my driveway outside of just that dew in the morning and you saw my you made a joke about how it had no it's actually pretty good i gotta climb over snow banks again this fucking place he's joking kids we had a small little patch of something of ice that was built up i couldn't etch away with my plastic shovel but it's pretty good my mom's house however however it's like an ice rink so her her driveway and her walkway and the even the sidewalk out front was such thick ice and she phones me kind of in distress on saturday that they're all out of salt at all of her neighborhood places like they are there was no salt and she couldn't find any salt her neighbors had no salt.

You know where you can get salt? Where? I bought salt recently. Last time, actually, I was here. Where can you get salt? At the Home Depot at 427 and Queensway. That's a reasonable location. There you go.

I didn't know that. Go get it. And I told her, so I said to her, I don't know about salt right now. I'm sure it's coming, but I said, go buy kitty litter and throw it down for the traction. And then so she goes and she buys kitty litter. And then I guess she fills up her yogurt container with kitty litter and she does her walkway.

But I get there Sunday to check it out. I get there Sunday at like noon or whatever. And I see that she's got her walkway nicely done with the kitty litter, but she didn't do like the driveway to the walkway or the sidewalk. And I'm like, mom, I go, give me that yogurt container. i'll do it and i do it and it's i go i need more i need more kitty litter you got more she goes yeah i got a whole bag inside she goes i gotta i got i got a lot of this bag left inside but i've been saving it there might be more ice next week and i said i said mom i said this kitty litter this emergency you don't have a cat this

emergency kitty litter for the ice emergency because there's no ice like i said that's happening right now okay the emergency is now yeah the emergency is right now like don't hold on like she's i don't know she's holding on she's holding on to kitty litter in her house because maybe next week there's more ice even though the ice that's there right now has not been appropriately uh covered and it's going to be a pain in the ass to clear out any other snow that we do get if you don't get rid of all the ice now. I know. I said no. I said this is the emergency.

We can always get more kitty litter. Go buy her some fucking salt right now from the Home Depot. I will. I will. Yeah. Go right now. Let's end the fucking podcast. You want me to press pause?

That's it. That's it. Game over. See you later. Hey, on Sunday, would you watch an NFL playoff game? Absolutely. Did you, so you watched the Broncos? I watched parts of the games on Sunday.

I didn't get to see any of the Saturday games, but I saw parts of the games on Sunday and more so the later game, not so much the Niners game. And me too. It was, you know, I'm looking forward to this weekend's games. And me too. It was, you know, I'm, I'm looking forward to this weekend's games.

Cause the big draw, I guess will be a handsome guy with Giselle there versus a old man. Manning. Yeah. Old man. He's pretty old. He looks pretty, pretty rough that nose.

Oh my goodness. Is that real? And like jets on that. Is that real nose or is that a multitude of breakages or both? I can't believe he's got less Super Bowl rings than his little brother. I know. And his little brother is really shit in the bed right now. Yeah, right now.

I'm looking forward to it. And certainly the Super Bowl will be fun as well. I think we've got four teams left that will give us a good show on Super Bowl Sunday. Do we know what the Super Bowl halftime acts are going to be? Yes, we do. We do. We've known for a while, actually. The main guy they have doing it is Bruno Mars. Oh, Bruno Mars!

I love Bruno Mars. I enjoy Bruno Mars. He's like a quarter Filipino or something like that. Good for you! Monica's told me all the famous Filipinos. Why don't we get him in here? Let's get him in here. I think I can. So it's Manny Pacquiao, Bruno Mars. a guy from uh what's that shitty band uh our lady peace no uh the lf trouble charger no uh will i am is in it i can't believe that pearl jam no it's good guys oh uh will i am black eyed peas that's the one

one of those guys is the guy who never talks oh Oh, and on the Global Morning Show, there's a gal named Chris Reyes who is Filipino. Oh, good. You went from one of the boxing champions of the world to the Global Morning Show. And the chick that almost got sued by Brian Burke for that guy who left a comment about him banging her. Oh, yeah. Hazel May. Hazel May. She's Filipino.

She's back, isn't she? And no one really cares about her anymore. She's back. She's back, isn't she? No one really cares about her anymore. She's back. She's been back for a while. I know. No one really cares. You know what? I'll tell you.

I don't know if I should say it, but it's an obvious reason why. It's obvious. I'll tell you later. But I'm looking forward to Super Bowl, but Bruno Mars and who else? Oh, yeah. It's got to be someone else.

Okay, it's just Bruno Mars, but then he said, I think I read this on Twitter earlier this week, that he's going to have the red hot chili peppers. You follow Bruno Mars on Twitter? No, I don else. Okay, it was just Bruno Mars. But then he said, I think I read this on Twitter earlier the week, that he's going to have the Red Hot Chili Peppers before my turn. You follow Bruno Mars on Twitter? No, I don't. Somebody mentioned it.

This really is a culture joke. Let me take it back. Holy shit. Red Hot Chili Peppers. Wow, that seems like an odd mix. Because Flea, I saw someone retweet Flea. He's Filipino? Yeah, can't you tell?

He tweeted that, does anyone want to see his cock? Yeah, absolutely. Well, I mean, again, I guess. I joined the Super Bowl because we've all seen it. But it's like, I guess, the equipment malfunction with Timberlake and Janet Jackson. Wardrobe malfunction. Well, yeah, exactly.

Wardrobe malfunction. Right. That he would redo that again. Can you believe that we're still paying for that now? Like the decision that was handed down by the fcc at that time to find the networks that much money that we still are you know in that world where you can't really say or do anything america's ridiculous though it's an american thing it's insane like and i had it like that nipple had like some kind of a piercing through it. It was like a sun. A sun, yeah.

So you couldn't really see anything anyway. You couldn't see areola. And it was like half a second? Yeah. One second? It's insanity. No one would have known anything. Okay, so I watched the Broncos,

and then I was getting ready for the Leaf game, and then my wife mentioned the Golden Globes were on. Oh, good. I don't know. So you watched that instead? So my question is, did you, one of my questions is, no, I didn't. I watched mostly Leafs, actually.

And I watched some Golden Globes between Broncos and Leafs and during the intermission and stuff. But did you watch any of this? Like, did you watch any Golden Globes? I didn't, no, I don't watch Golden Globes. I will watch the Oscars, but I usually end up turning it off after about an hour or so. But I'm interested in the Oscars because I do enjoy movies.

And so I like to see wins. I don't necessarily like to see, you know, what they're wearing and all that bullshit. Yeah, me too. It's going to take me a lot to watch another Leaf game. It really is. Tell me why. That was not a bad game. We won that game. I'm I'm I,

well, as you know, I, I'm not a fan of Randy Carlo. Neither am I, but I'm also not a fan of the team, not play as, as the,

who knows if this is true or not, but I'm also not a fan of players supposedly not playing to their greatest ability to get their coach fired and if that's in fact what is happening because they put up a couple of real stinkers recently um i don't have any interest in watching a team like that so until they make a change or until they start to improve i'm not gonna but that's a bold uh assertion assertion assertion it would seem to be pretty unanimous well they won on Sunday. Well, you know, stranger things have happened, I guess. Yeah.

But it would seem to be a pretty unanimous sort of opinion amongst most of the sports journalists. That they were. Stinkeroony the other night against, who was it against? The Rangers? There were a couple of Stinkeroonys. Yeah, Rangers. Islanders? Rangers? Both of them? Could have been.

Could have been. And if that's the case, I just have no interest in watching a team trying to get their coach fired. Even though he should be fired. Should have never been hired, in my opinion. Sorry, Liz. He got the Dave Nones, you know, and he's not going anywhere, whatever that's called. You know, that's a fucking, you know. But even though your hero, Damien Cox, says for a lot of people, he said that is just lip service,

but he believes it when Nona says it. Why do we believe Dave Nona more than any other gentleman? Why do we believe Damien Cox is what I thought you were going to say. In Cox, we will trust. Do you remember the Carol of the Bells with Damien Cox? What's his name from the old fan days? Gord Stelic. No.

Uh, who covered the Leafs on the beat? Oh, Howard, Howard Berger. Right. He still, he,

his Twitter, you know, good for him for trying to, you know, keep himself relevant and get another job. And, you know, obviously,

you know, it's horrible that he lost his job after such a long time at the fan, but his Twitter, his Twitter description is, I have to laugh every time I see it because he, he, he, he pronounces to the world that he was the first Leafs beat reporter for the

fan five 90 or fan, I guess, 1430 at the time, which was 1410. I know, but that seems just like an odd sort of, you know, way to bill yourself.

You know, like I was the, you know, Rosie was the very first cohost of Toronto Mike and now, you know, she was the you know rosie was the very first co-host of toronto miked and now you know she's not but no but uh she could be because she's better than you right she's like better than me she's the first co-host i i'm not claiming to be the co-host i apologize rosie i'm just a fill-in you're you're sort of you're the bottom we talked about this last time you're the bomb account you're having rotating co-hosts if any at all do you know i have confirmed with a date and time that uh what's that gentleman's name alan cross the man

the myth the legend yeah what do you think about cross so here's my opinion on cross i think that alan cross produces and hosts hosted uh when i could actually listen to it i'm not sure if it actually still is on right now the The premier radio show of all time. The ongoing history of new music. The by far the best radio show of all time. Do you know what I'm naming my episode with him? I'm going to call it the ongoing history of Alan Cross. Nice.

Thank you. I thought about that. I remember going to bed. I'm pulling a Toronto Mike here and talking about the past. going to bed i'm pulling a toronto mike here and talking about the past i remember going to bed as as a as a teenager as a as a as a youngster listening to that show on sunday evenings and frankly not knowing a lot of the music that he was talking about but being introduced to a lot of you were educated you didn't know the ramones and he explained who the ramones were and cbgbs and all that shit the pixies who are in town tomorrow all of those types of bands that i became a huge fan of not a huge fan but i became very very very

um he taught you the history of the music you like today like the the influence of the clash for example right because it was no longer just a song that you heard and you're like hey that's a cool song now you knew where these guys came from you knew the history you knew who they were influenced by. And certainly you could get a lot of that information about the big bands like the Beatles and the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin. But bands like the Pixies and bands like these other kind of bands that he spoke of, you couldn't get that information anywhere else. And it was happening right here in Toronto. I loved that show as well.

And it was a great show. I've listened to many episodes but i mean you can hear that episode about the suicide of kirk cobain and he'll pull out the old audio of him announcing it on 102.1 and stuff it's chilling fascinating stuff i would so i i don't buy very much music anymore or movies or tv shows for that matter however i i've invested, uh, we've talked about this before on our old podcast, uh, the ESPN 30 for 30 series. I bought volume one on blu-ray as a sort of a memento that I'm going to keep and play for my kids when they get older. Cause that's, I think it's really important for them to, to know that type of history, given that how important it was for me when, and how it made me feel when I watched it. I wish we could do the same with that catalog that he has produced over the years,

but we know that that can't happen because of the cost of licensing those songs. Were you on the episode when I complained about WKRP? Yes. It's the same situation. And it's just a shame because listening to it, I know that he's replayed or I've heard replays of the show without the music included, and it just isn't the same. You know, like you hear him throwing to a song and it's just nothing there, and then it comes back to him talking. It's just a shame that he can't – I believe he owns the rights.

Now, you can confirm with him when you actually speak with him but he he can't he can't get the right i'm gonna find out about this because i'm like you i would love to listen to like have an archive or like a library where i could go to and start listening to old ongoing history of new music it would just be amazing the other thing i'd like to know from him is is he still doing that is because i know for a while he was doing it on the web or at least i thought he was he might have been doing it for another station i heard he did uh he signed a deal with astral like he's an independent contractor signed with astral to do something very similar he had a different name but it was similar it was like i don't know i don't remember the name but it wasn't quite ongoing history of new music was maybe the ongoing history of music yeah i wonder if uh chorus owns ongoing history i'm gonna find out

i'm gonna find out and there's another chap i uh follow on twitter uh rob johnston i think his name is who was like the producer of that show with alan and i'll find out from him too i'll get you answers i know the right people now that's a that's a podcast i'll listen to because promise i've got a lot of uh i've got a lot of time for alan cross i don't necessarily subscribe to his musical philosophy but uh i i do enjoy um his his work do you listen to his podcast uh i do not i i subscribe to his blog um which he's prolific in in his postings and a lot of it is just recycled stories from other places but uh i i don't but it is a he if i got into it i i i certainly would he would be one of the people on top of my list so that that's exciting. And Todd Shapiro is still coming on.

I just have to get a date and time out of him because he says it's crazy times for him. He's marrying his Russian bride and all this insanity around him. Bring her in here too. Come on, Todd. He's got some legal. Yeah, exactly. I got two microphones. And he's got some legal stuff with chorus and stuff that we can't talk about right now.

But lots of interesting things with Todd Shapiro. But he's coming on. By virtue of him not talking about what happened, but lots of interesting things with Todd Shapiro. He's coming on. By virtue of him not talking about what happened, isn't that infringing on someone else's Charter of Rights and Freedom? Probably. I do got to say, someone else,

a lot of interesting comments lately, and one guy wrote this thing, like, I'm supposed, I exist, Toronto Mike exists to get to the truth, and when I don't say what I know about, like, why, he wanted to know why. He had three questions. Why was Jason Barr fired? Why was Todd Shapiro fired?

And why was Dean Blundell fired? And then he wanted to know why Toronto Mike is withholding information from the public. Like, I exist to get the truth out there. And I actually. You're a journalist. And I wrote back, like, I was trying to reason with the guy. Like, explain. And I, somewhere, it's in one of the comments from something and he kind of seemed to get my point and then i thought you know if a guy like let's say todd tells me what's going on and he says off the record this is going on please don't write anything about that because

this will ever legal whatever and then i say don't worry todd i'm not gonna say a word and then i tell that story you know how quickly a nobody would tell me anything ever again ever and any how many friends would i lose like how many and hr shit is you can't mess around with hr shit no i'm not i'm not i'm not that guy like i've been around this trotter mike has been around for 12 years or whatever it's been now the only reason he went this long is because he didn't talk out of school like that. Right. And let's be serious here. I mean, other than the studio audience

that shows up every time we record this, it's not like as if you're paying your mortgage with this fucking podcast. I am. No, it cost me. What do you think that microphone cost in front of your face? Expensive shit.

It's a nice set. Oh, Golden Globes. You don't watch Golden Globes, but I wanted to say really quickly that when she she was watching my wife was watching some red carpet thing before and and worst terrible actually really terrible unwatchable stuff but leah leah i want to say her name right no no this is actually a commercial that aired on the e-network called her name is lee miller was it a fun fact? She's married. Yeah,

that was fun. That was funny. That was funny. Lee Miller's married to a city in color, Dallas green. Okay. Do you know Lee Miller? She was on much music.

I remember her. So on much music, and I hope it's not Leah Miller, Lee Miller, Leah Miller. Everyone knows who I'm talking about. She's she, when she was on much music,

she was a hottie, like a very attractive blonde. I saw her for the first time in a while. I saw her on a commercial on the E! Network. What happened to her? What happened to her? And I hope she's not listening because I don't care what you look like, but she seems to have done stuff to herself. Oh, she's like Meg Ryan.

She's done stuff to herself, and she ruined who I will say was a very attractive young woman. So I had some time to kill last night because my wife was watching The Bachelor. And I don't watch The Bachelor. So I went downstairs into my man cave and I turned on Netflix. And I decided to go through a couple of movies that I had wanted to watch. I decided to go through a couple of movies that I had wanted to watch. And there was two in particular that were sort of like documentaries, uh, looking at,

um, porn stars and, and what they're doing now and sort of what their thoughts are on the industry and all this shit. Yeah. I thought it was going to be interesting. I came to the conclusion very, very quickly that they're all really,

really boring. And I had no interest in it other than the fact that a lot of them just look so bad now. Because they do stuff. Like the lips are just, like they're unbelievably huge. It looks like they're wearing clown lips. It's Houston in particular. So why do you attract the woman? I don't think women know how to grow old gracefully.

Well, you know what? It's not just women. Let's back it up here. Not just women. Kenny Rogers, right? What is he like? Dude, not just women. Let's back it up here. Not just women. Kenny Rogers, right? What is he like? Dude, Bruce Jenner. Seriously, guys, what's going on here?

Bruce Jenner is a whole other story. He's got the trachea cut off. Adam's apple. But Kenny Rogers looks like he's permanently in a wind tunnel. Didn't he almost die like 15 years ago? He almost died or something? Makes great chicken though. My mom loves, that's another episode

we got to talk about Kenny Rogers. My mom raised me on Kenny Rogers. Really? Like that album. The Gambler? Yeah, Gambler's on there. So there are songs from Kenny Rogers that for my formative years like from like three years old to seven years old she believes in me and I got all

these tunes that were on this greatest hits that I heard every day so often. That was the one album she played over and over again. If there is a radio station out there today that you could say was the music of your childhood, what radio station would that be?

Oh, well, Bloom would be the closest, I guess. For me, I think it would be CHFI. Oh, you mean like this one? Oh, I see what you're saying. I guess. For me, I think it would be CHFI. Oh, you mean like the CHFI before? Because CHFI, I guess they play a little bit of pop now. Yeah, Chum FM, I guess. But Chum FM will play a little Top 40 now. Yeah, they do.

They do re-invite and stuff. Like before they started going, like all the radio stations. Well, my mom was a Roger, Rick, and Marilyn freak. Oh, really? Actually, this is another great story. Make sure I don't forget this because my mom went on a date with rick hodge and that's a fantastic story wow that's a fantastic story rick hodge is a whole episode unto himself uh crazy that's amazing i know the rick hodge story but yeah my mom went on a date with rick hodge and my mom was uh like would he

return an email of yours now yeah uh yeah i'm sure yeah for sure for sure for sure you know little things like there was a time where he wouldn't i don't think okay yeah but then there was a time when we fell in love like that's how my mom got the date out of this like there's a whole story about me and rick hodge like there was a time when he wouldn't and then there was a time when we were closer than ever and now we don't communicate are you suggesting that rick hodge could have been your dad yeah my stepdad yeah wow could have been could have beenodge could have been your dad? Yeah, my stepdad, yeah. Wow. Could have been. Could have been. That would have been awesome. Could have been. That documentary on porno reminded me that I did see recently a documentary called The Crash Reel about this, you know, the flying tomato, Sean White?

Yes. Okay, so the second best guy in that sport, the guy with the best chance to sort of win in vancouver i mean we could have a chance someone might make a movie about our fucking podcast well it depends what happens i think there's a documentary these guys were the you don't think so these guys were in the top 14 this guy buys i think about this documentary before i get back to the flying tomato think about it okay think about it we're just regular i'm a regular guy right not particularly bright regular guy you're pretty i bought some nice microphones 60 episodes later i'm passing ricky gervais in the rearview mirror i'm i'm oh by humble and fred by mark maron right up there i'm right in the echelon well

and and and and not to leave me out of this of course that was your episode we could certainly you could certainly do a documentary or part of the documentary on how it is that we met and had this in the most unlikeliest because porn is involved in that too if that story has pornography in it i right it doesn't sure our origin yeah yeah the crazy guy oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah sorry sorry across from the wrong level is just like there's a lot of porn like you're right there's a lot of a lot of cock involved in that story tons of cock and that always makes for a good story as taught uh that is a great story uh but yeah i mean we were we had a professional relationship where you know in my

world you do not ever cross that line and and I crossed that line with you, Mike, and here we are. You did, and here we are. How many years? Eight years later. Nine. The fact that we're, in iTunes, we surpassed, for a while,

we surpassed Adam Carolla, I think. Fuck him. I think so. So that's how you end the movie. Boom. I can put up my hand. Take a big shit on Alan Carolla's chest or something? No.

At the end of Breakfast Club when he puts up his arm and they kind of. Oh, like the Howard Stern fist? Yeah. The Howard Stern fist. Okay. Holy shit. I should start like doing better notes. We're all over the place.

Crash Reel has this guy who has an accident while training for Vancouver. And this documentary is about about basically it's about his recovery slash it's about his family and sort of his mindset through this and it is remarkable i'm not fucking with you was the crash reel on uh netflix or i don't have netflix believe it or not i don't know if it's on netflix but it's Seek It Out. Like, Seek It Out. What's it called? The Crash Reel. The Crash Reel. R-E-E-L. The Crash Reel.

The next one that I want to watch is Searching for Sugar Man. I've seen it, and it's very good. I want to see that. It's very good. I want to see that. Yeah, you'll like it. Do you, have you ever lawn bowled? Lawn bowling?

Is that what it's called when you lawn bowl? We need sound effects of the fucking car taking an abrupt right-hand turn. Yeah, Segways are overrated. This isn't Shum FM. lawn bowl we need sound effects of the fucking car taking an abrupt right hand turn yeah a segway is overrated this isn't uh chum fm everybody's uh uh ipod just fucking blew up this episode is to see who sticks around right so we build up this audience it gets big who sticks around yeah because if you don't like this episode i don't want you listening that's the way i look at it Rule number one of radio broadcasting is never tell people to turn off the dial. Yeah, but they get a salary, radio people.

Right, that's true. I don't get that. Well, I just get bonus on number of downloads. You said bonus, right? Yeah, bonus. Good. Just checking. What was the question?

Lawn bowling. Lawn bowling. I have lawn bowled. Yes, I've also done the Italian version, which is bocce. I've heard of that. I've played more of bocce than lawn bowling, but I've done bocce. Only because the aforementioned bike ride, I have this route I do, and I pass this Tobacco Lawn Bowling Club,

and it's got a sign out there that says accepting new members. And every time I pass it, I think, yeah, I think, like, of course, like their members are dying. Like these are old people lawn bowl, and they must be dying at a great rate they need to get young people but imagine if we join that club we would you join with me be a fucking king in a year not even six months we'd fucking run that place you know what my fear is though oh you mean i thought you're gonna say we'd win no we'd run while we win too but we'd run that place we'd have like you know awesome uniforms we'd show up like in those uniforms. Dude, I'm this close to 40.

I practically belong there. Have you seen my hair? We'd have uniforms like they did in Dodgeball. It'd be amazing. That is funny. It'd be amazing. We'd kill them. And we could document it and talk about it on this podcast. Then we could have guests.

This is Larry from the club. Larry, tell us. Hello. Hello. Tell us about World War I. Can you imagine? Tell us about World War I Can you imagine Tell us about How many Germans did he shoot down He's the last guy left from World War I

And he happens to be The lawn bowling champion Until we fucking destroy him You're going down Larry You're new purple art That's it Elvis you're going down larry you're new purple art that's it elvis you're from uh you live now in an oshawa but you were raised in mississauga right born in york the city of york yeah i used to live there and uh which part of york i don't know since you like uh okay i don't know and uh yeah but but uh generally generally born and raised in Mississauga.

Meadowville and Streetsville. Oh, Streetsville. Similar to this. Do you know where Mimico is? I only know because- If I said meet me in Mimico- No, I would go to the GO train station. Because you know you're almost there. I would go to the GO train station.

Fucking hate Mimico. You know Royal York? You know Royal York? You know, in a perfect world, we would evacuate Mimico and then burn it down. I really have no time whatsoever for Mimico. You know how you like to call this Islington? Yeah, it's Islington.

When you're on the subway, what's the stop east of Islington called? I have no idea. Royal York. You don't know your stops? Oh, subway stops. Subway stops. So Royal, which i'm having trouble saying royal york is too north from mimico isn't it nope oh royal york and lakeshore is mimico oh my true story okay because it starts at dwight and dwight hopefully none of our listeners uh live

there some do i'm sure when the great fire starts i wrote i like Mimico. Well, mainly because I almost bought in Mimico and I'm very close to Mimico. I wrote an entry about Mimico because it's like, what's so special about Mimico? Because Dave Bolins got on NHL.com. He's from Mimico, not Etobicoke or Toronto. Isn't Dave Clarkson from Mimico as well? Dave Clarkson's from Mimico.

And then one of my favorite players of all time, Brendan Shanahan is from Mimico. Shani from Mimico. Shani's from Mimico. Went to my high school. The Brendan Shanahan, is from Mimico. Shani from Mimico. Shani's from Mimico. Went to my high school. The only other thing I knew about Mimico before all these players started hijacking it was that there's a,

isn't there like a jail there? I don't think so. It's like a minimum security jail. I don't think so, but maybe. Or a mental institution, something like that. Yeah, I don't know. It's definitely something like that. I don't know.

Because the joke was no one ever got on and off at the ghost train station at Mimico but maybe mental institutions like that. Yeah, it's definitely something like that. I don't know. Cause no, the joke was no one ever got on and off the gold string station at Mimico unless you were trying to escape from jail. That's funny. My, my wife takes that to go downtown, um, which is appropriate.

So we, uh, Mimico, this entry I wrote, got somebody tweeted about it cause somebody was in Mimico and she follows Mimico people. So she tweets it, but she tweets it at people like at Dave Boland, at Brendan,

I think Shani, NHL Shani and all these people. Bottom line is, Brendan Shanahan retweets my tweet and I check, he doesn't tweet that much. He tweets like, alright, we suspended this guy for six games because of watching my video here. Almost no tweets of personal nature from Shanahan.

He retweeted my Mimico and so I was so excited that Brendan Shanahan retweeted my mimico and so i was so like excited that brendan shanahan is that your is that your greatest twitter moment this is where i'm going so this was two weeks ago that he maybe two weeks ago he retweets my mimico entry yes yesterday chuck d is talking about vince carter and i tweet at him some half man half amazing thing he retweets my tweet chuck d my hero chuck d so in back to back i got brendan shanahan and chuck d and then i asked on twitter like is muhammad ali on twitter because like if muhammad ali were to art rt me it would complete the trifecta wow muhammad ali would complete the trifecta but i don't think he's on twitter

my what's your biggest rt. What's your biggest RT? Yeah, what's your biggest? It wasn't necessarily an RT, but it was a follow and a DM. Oh. So I followed. This is in Chuck D territory. No offense if he's listening. But Bobo from the Howard Stern show.

I followed Bobo, and he that same day followed followed me back and I sent him a DM saying, Bobo, thanks for following me, man. And he wrote back and he said, not a problem. Hey now. So is he a super fan? He is a super fan. And I kept it. I kept this, the, the DM from him. Of course it's still in my inbox. Cause that that's amazing that's my that's amazing how like how non-famous your biggest celebrity now i've had conversations with people who are sort of known i guess not necessarily and they reply back to you yeah i had a back and forth with dave naylor one time and and dave naylor is dead to me now but but those guys like uh media people,

they're supposed to engage via Twitter. I don't think that counts. If Robin Doolittle tweets at me, that's not anything special. He's your boyfriend or she's your boyfriend. First of all, she's beautiful. Fine. I don't care. She's not my boyfriend. She's my girlfriend.

But there's two of them. I apologize to Robin. She has a partner in crime right that was always uh oh yeah kevin doolittle that's yeah yeah and i don't tweet with him right but he's a friend of a friend and that's another story i can't talk about all right what he knows and hasn't written so bobo thank you bobo and i hope you get to go to the birthday show the uh oh crap i wanted to get to this but um tfc my twitter is exploding with tfc news like i never hear about tfc especially in what is this january and i get all this exciting tfc tweets that kind of ducktail into what you said in episode 60 you got excited over some names i never heard of before but now i hear those names everywhere so things happened. Can you just tell me what's happened and then tell me if this means we can actually play a playoff game or not?

So here we go. TFC first started. There was a whole bunch of rumors, but the order in which they actually signed these players was first they brought back the hometown hero, Dwayne De Rosario. Dwayne De Rosario is one of the best Canadian players. the hometown hero, Dwayne De Rosario. Dwayne De Rosario is one of the best Canadian players. Certainly takes on the role of, if not formally, as captain of the Canadian men's national team.

Outstanding player, scored the most goals in TFC history, and certainly one of the most prolific scores in MLS history. He comes back. So that's big news. He's certainly not going to play you know every game all 90 minutes every single game but he's going to be that leader that we need the next player that they signed was someone that we have never signed a player of this particular type of caliber before um the striker from totten Hotspurs in the premiership, Jermaine Defoe. Plays for the England national team or has in the past. Still a guy who's not too old, not too young.

He's fifth overall, I think, in Tottenham history in terms of goals scored, which is amazing given how long that team has been around. So he's here. And then, of course, on Monday, they also announced that they signed the greatest, or not the greatest, but the best American player currently, who is by the name of Michael Bradley. He's sort of a defender slash midfielder, and gives us that strength in the back end that we've never had before. Add to the fact that we also signed this young Brazilian kid, Gilberto,

earlier in the winter, and you now, Mike, not only have a team that can contend for a playoff berth, however, you also now have a team that can contend for the championship. So that was, this is okay. Only, let me, I don't know those names, but I have, I don't, I'm going to be honest, but I have... I don't. I'm going to be honest. But I know the D-Row one.

I remember him from when he was here. And we didn't make any playoffs when he was here before. Correct. And I can only assume he got older and is not as good as he was. Correct. Okay. But this Defoe and stuff, I did some reading, and it sounds like he's a premiership guy. Yes.

And that's like your NHL, if you're going to put this in my terms. I know soccer's funny because there's like there's like different nhls yes so that's like italy's got an nhl there's an england so the nhl of england so okay so when the blue jays signed they got the knuckleballer and they got jose reyes and they did a bunch of stuff okay they did a bunch burley and stuff they signed a bunch of guys like in the off season before last season as you know i sort of drank a little bit of like kool-aid and decided that we were going to make the playoffs i thought we might make the playoffs and we did shitty and we didn't make the playoffs and we sucked so this is is this like that where you've signed some names on paper now

there's never been a playoff team should be in the playoffs for the first time in franchise history like tfc if they're not in the playoffs are we disappointed in this team absolutely they've spent boatloads of money i mean boatloads of money they gave as roma seven million euros just for the opportunity to sign michael bradley that's a lot of change um they're paying defoe tens of millions of dollars like there's a lot of change. Um, they're paying Defoe tens of millions of dollars. Like there's a lot of money invested in these guys. Soccer is obviously a different game than baseball in the sense that you've got 11 players on the pitch. They all play together. It's got to be a fluid type of game. Um, you've, you've got to have the right players playing together. Um,

right now, the way this team is structured, it looks as though this team is going to do very, very well. They've certainly got a lot of firepower. They've got some good guys in the back end. I'm sure that there's other moves to be made. You've got these guys for the entire season, which is also something that's unique. A lot of times we've signed players midway through the season. You don't have time to gel. These guys have got the entire season to gel and come together as a team. so i'm not making the prediction that they're going to make the playoffs or uh win the championship if you notice i chose my words very carefully they have the potential do i believe that they will or not i'm still

sort of on the fence but i will tell you i know it was a question in podcast 60 uh i will be renewing my tickets i was gonna ask you and i'm happy to hear that because i need to go to a couple of games if you want to keep your spot in that co-hosting chair. You got it. And like this TFC soccer thing, I'm trying to learn. You've taught me quite a bit, but I understand there's like the championship is not always the most sought after trophy. Is that what you said once to me? Like there's many trophies.

It's not like the NHL. There's only one thing we give a shit about, the Stanley Cup. Here in North America, I think because of the way in which we've been trained by the other four major sports, the championship is what you want to win. Okay, so I don't want the President's Trophy. In other leagues, though, in England, in Spain, in Italy, you do want to win the President's Trophy. That's what means the most. Okay, but we want to make the playoffs and be the last team standing at the end of the playoffs. We want to win the MLS trophy that's what means the most okay but we want to make the playoffs and we want to be the last team standing at the end we want to win the mls cup at the end

of the season okay good i just in november when it's going to be fucking cold good and uh you still an iphone guy i am still an iphone guy okay just checking because i just switched phones it's kind of exciting i went from the samsung galaxy to an lgg2 what's with the two g's i don't know lg is the company life is and they named their phone the g2 correct so is the g stamp does it stand for anything great i don't know i have no idea this is the great two i probably should know right uh lgg2 is the is that what the phone is called and i very happy with it did you purchase this phone or was it delivered by you? No, TELUS gave it to me.

And they let you keep it? And they let me keep it. So it had a TELUS data plan on it with another phone number. So I test drove it for like two and a half months or something where I had two phones, my phone with my data plan in it and then this phone. And then at New Year's eve late new year's eve suddenly the telus data stopped working and it was like okay now it's time to make the switch

like i just so i just dropped my date i got a new sim card and hooked it up just this past so are you a telus customer or no no i just use my my rogers plan yeah but it's a great phone and telus was great service but i already had a nice plan so i didn't want to switch well good for but it's a great phone. And Telus was great service, but I already had a nice plan, so I didn't want to switch. Well, good for you. It's always exciting to have a new phone. I'm excited to see what the new iPhone is going to look like. All right, last question, because I see we're approaching an hour, which people seem to like. I don't know what your thoughts.

We've never had this talk. We don't meet except on air. We only have on-air meetings, but the new hour time is kind of neat. Yeah, I don't like talking to you outside of the podcast so i know so you have a couple minutes here um a couple minutes uh one thing i wanted to ask you is how many facebook friends approximately do you have uh i think i last check i think i had 1299 i might have 1300 now see you're not using facebook the way i use facebook uh you're using it like you

can't know you can't have that many friends like are these who makes it great anyone who you heard of fuck you of course they can i'm not saying you're doing it wrong i said you're not doing the way i am doing it okay i almost said you're doing it wrong but who's to say what's right and wrong in this social media world i use facebook in fact i recently did a pruning like i went through my i felt i had too many friends well i didn't see the i didn't see the facebook post where you're like if you're seeing this you're still my friend no i didn't do that see i fucking did it all covertly so but but a lot of people uh who i actually kind of like and i know got chopped like in fact i say how many of your in-laws got most of them yeah almost all of them like almost

all the in-laws are gone um there's so few people who made this cut you're actually still there i just want you to know i i know okay but there's only i think i'm down to 60 i think that's the number i'm down to here's here's my my philosophy on facebook tell me it's a way to keep up to date with other people probably with a lot of people that you never would want to care about what they're up to. Sure. But it gives you the opportunity to just sort of see. Yeah. For me, Facebook primarily is a way for me to entertain myself, either because someone has posted something funny or interesting as their status update, or I provide myself the opportunity to make fun of someone, to be an asshole, to

say something that is quite obviously a joke but could be interpreted as serious and then causes a kerfuffle. So I enjoy Facebook as a medium for me to be able to not only keep in touch with other people but also to just be another source of entertainment for myself. So the more the merrier for that. Absolutely, because then you need to keep that to be a big funnel in order to keep yourself entertained every time you open up the application. Like I use it differently.

I use Twitter for that. So I'm a big Twitter guy, and I'll follow anyone on Twitter basically until they annoy me and I unfollow. But on Facebook, I like it to be people who are true friends or family members I like. Not just family members either. I've got to like the family member. Are your brothers on Facebook? Neither. Neither, but your

sister-in-law is on Facebook. Yes. Are you still friends with her? Yep. I'm friends with her as well. I've met her one time. I've emailed her multiple times, but I've only met her one time um and we were already facebook friends before i met her um and and you know so she i like that's how you use it i mean i uh yeah she's still my facebook friend my mom is my facebook friend she's got some great selfies

vanessa has great selfies yeah yeah she's great at selfies i don't know she just i i see her posts about like shellacking her nails your mom's your mom has uh the classic mom type of post they're great my mom also my mom is interesting on facebook because she'll find like a an old post from like three months ago and then something that i commented on that isn't even on my page it was like on some random yeah yeah yeah and then she'll comment and say like hey perry can you please call me tonight what does my mom do uh she does funny ones like she's like way to go james oh yeah yeah so if i write yeah james's hat trick that's right since we last talked yeah she's james scores a hat trick out of nowhere and i write on facebook his first career hat trick because i'm really proud of the

guy yeah my mom will be like way to go and she always writes like james is like i'm james first of all james hasn't seen that are you not taking screenshots of these and sending I'm really proud of the guy. Yeah, my mom will be like, way to go. And she always writes like James is, like I'm James. First of all, James hasn't seen that. He's not on Facebook. Are you not taking screenshots of these and sending them to him immediately? No. I'm like, you know, James isn't on Facebook. He's never going to see this. But yeah, she writes to me like I'm James.

But yeah, so if you're still my Facebook friends, that means I actually really like you. And if you're not my Facebook friend, it doesn't necessarily mean I don really like you. And if you're not my Facebook friend, it doesn't necessarily mean I don't like you. It just means it's a very exclusive club and you're not in it. Well, as someone who pays his mortgage through social media activities, meaning me,

that is not wrong. I think that the key to social media- Does that mean it's right? No, the key to social media is to come up with a strategy that works for you and execute it consistently. And once you do that, then you'll get a lot out of social media. That was well said. You should go around the world and give speeches about that.

Wow, it's weird. I do. Where are you going next? New York. So how long have you gone? The Big Apple. How long have you gone? Wednesday through Friday.

I'm just thinking in my head. Cause okay. Uh, yeah, I started my music too early. Cause I wanted to say that, um, Amanda is going to come on the show to talk about her breast enlargement. Has it happened? It happened yesterday. Good for her.

So, uh, I, I have no idea. Like I don't, does Mrs. Elvis, Elvis, do you like Mrs. Elvis' breasts? Of course I do. Mrs. Elvis' breasts? Yes. Okay. I fully support a woman's right to get an enhancement in any way that she wants if it allows her to be more confident.

And then more naked more often. Well, I mean, I'm not necessarily going to be able to see Amanda naked more often because I don't see her naked now. You never know. Maybe it depends. Invite me to the podcast, Mike. And that brings us to the end of our 60-second show. You can follow me on Twitter,

at Toronto Mike, and Elvis, at Oshawa Elvis. That's the new Twitter handle. The new old handle. So follow at Oshawa Elvis for more of his hilarity. You know how many porn stars I had to unfollow? All of them.

See you all next week. And your smile is fine and it's just like mine And it won't go away Cause everything is rosy and green Well, you've been under my skin for more than eight years It's been eight years of laughter and age