Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Your Blog Sucks #10

Episode Date: November 26, 2013

Mike and Elvis discuss what sucks this 10th week.

And now, it's time for Your Blog Sucks. Welcome to Your Blog Sucks. I'm Mike from torontomike.com and joining me is my brother from another mother, Elvis. Episode 10 begins now. Episode 10 begins now. What's up, Mike? Happy 10th anniversary, Elvis. 10th anniversary of what?

10th episode. That's not an anniversary. 10th episode? I'm not sure how anniversaries work. Yeah, I can't believe we've made it through 10. 10 episodes in about 25 weeks. In the same period of time, I think my other podcast recorded like 60 episodes.

Yeah, but the other podcasts aren't as good as this one. That's a relative. Because we're obviously much more important than your other hosts. We swear more. Right, and we're obviously much more important than your other uh hosts we swear more right and we're generally a lot less available the demographic yes that's true uh you're in like paris and london and oshawa and all these exotic locations yeah exactly it's gonna snow in oshawa tonight i'm glad that that you... Do you have snow tires? I do have snow tires.

Are they on your car? They are not. I was going to make this one of my sucks this week because it does suck. I should read ahead. But I didn't because I thought it was boring. So since you brought up the topic, I'll tell you what it is anyway. I had my appointment booked like three weeks ago

to put on my snow tires and I got a last minute call to do a presentation at one of my clients downtown. So I had to cancel the appointment, and obviously we had snow last week, and so people have been going crazy, and I've been really busy. So I haven't been able to put them on, and the appointment that I've been able to schedule now is December 13th, which seems kind of silly because I've, you know, I could, we could theoretically have a couple of snowfalls between now and then. Well, you will because it's going to snow tonight. Yeah.

Hopefully, uh, you know, I'm not so worried about my car. It's, uh, it's more my, my wife's car when she drives around her kids. So. That's sweet. I actually, uh, don't have snow tires, but my wife has snow tires. You should have snow tires on your shit box. I know. I should.

I know. I've had this conversation with lovely Rosie from Toronto Mike. don't have snow tires, but my wife has snow tires. You should have snow tires on your shit box. I know, I've had this conversation with lovely Rosie from Toronto Mike, and of course I should have snow tires, but I don't. But when it's really bad, like snow on the ground, I just use Monica's car. What did you do before Monica, though? Yeah, I just went out and did it. I used to work in like Thorn Hill, and I used to do a big long commute. Mental.

I didn't have snow tires until i had kids and i noticed a huge difference uh once i put the snow tires on it's just uh i don't know how i drove without them because i don't want to know that feeling because right now i'm ignorant so i i don't know what it's safety first yes of course first mike i 100 agree do you want to you want to rock and roll and get started with the big show? Yeah. The big show? How about should we ask the studio audience, perhaps? Do you want to hear the big show?

You want to Skype any regulars? The demo analysis came out, and I looked at it. Your blog sucks skews heavily towards men. Weird. That's very strange, given the relatively insane topics that we pick right and elvis do you know what sucks what sucks mike the average nfl game includes 11 minutes of action and takes over three hours to play i'm not sure why that sucks it sucks because and i i'm speaking as somebody who used to be a big NFL fan and watched every Sunday and more, and you invest three, let's say three hours and 20 minutes in a game, and you're essentially mainly watching, you know, there's the coaches on the sideline and players not playing and seeing graphics on the board, and you're only actually seeing 11 minutes of football action. It sounds like someone read an article recently

that told them that stat. Of course. What do you think I did? Took my stopwatch out and started recording? It seems like a random sort of way to not like the NFL. There's a lot of reasons to not like it. There's a lot of reasons to like it. Well, there's an additional reason,

and I'm not even suggesting this is not a cfl versus nfl this is merely a i've always felt like some there was a lack of action in nfl but now i have the metrics to prove it there's always been uh i mean you can there's been lots of articles and you know not to make it nfl versus cfl but there's certainly more scoring in the cfl there's a lot more more back and forth in the CFL because of the rules, the, the lack of three downs. Yeah. So I don't know.

I think that this is a little weak in terms of the, the way, the reason why not to like the NFL. Isn't that a good reason? If you feel me, there's only 11 minutes of play in your three and a half hour investment, but you'll watch baseball, which I don't get because baseball has – and I know that you talked about this on your blog and said that the starts and stops in baseball is more romantic.

Yeah, that is a term I would use, romantic. I get it. I understand what you're saying. But I – see, that's where the argument for me just falls down. I don't understand how the starts and stops in baseball is romantic and they're not in the NFL in the sense that – Completely. Like you have the matchup of a pitcher versus a hitter. There's a one-on-one matchup,

and each pitch there's sort of a romantic setup regarding the battle that's lacking in the NFL. But those moments before the snap, though, I think is also very... It's much more militaristic, right? It's soldiers on a field of battle. Right, but basically they're just parts like there's very little room for uh creative design if you will like basically a

coach and has drawn x's and o's and basically you're gonna do this you're just sort of like but the another part and if you break we'll just pop another part in that spot analysis after the play though does reveal the romantic nature of the play. If you find war and battle romantic, you know. It's a difference. Okay, I prefer baseball, but mainly because I loved baseball as a child, I think. And then when you come into baseball cold as an adult, I think it's difficult to appreciate the romantic delay. I mean, don't get me wrong. I'm with you that there are a lot of boring aspects to football in general.

Do you watch? I do. I'm not a religious viewer where I have to watch every single Sunday. Like my brother Ryan who can't see the family on a Sunday at all? No. He cannot see the family on a Sunday? No, that's not me at all. Definitely not. I'd rather watch an NFL game or a CFL game or my favorite football is Canadian University football. All right.

I'd rather watch that than a baseball game any day of the week. Fair enough. But hockey beats both. Yeah. Of course. But you know what sucks, Mike? What sucks, Elvis? People who think you can predict the sex of a baby by looking at the woman's belly.

So ridiculous. And this happens all the time. And obviously this is a really relevant for you right now, given that, that, uh, Mrs. Toronto,

Mike is pregnant. This is super relevant. I've had two, uh, children. You've had two and you've got a third on the way. I don't understand why people feel the need to say, Oh,

you're, you're baby. You're carrying low. That means you're the need to say, oh, you're carrying low. That means you're having a girl. Or, oh, you have a really round belly. That means that you're having a boy. You have no idea. We really should be holding these people accountable when they predict the sex of the baby and they're wrong. We should then do something that prevents them from ever doing that again. Like the Scarlet Letter. It is a waste, a waste of energy, a waste of time, space,

and I don't want to be in those conversations. I'm so glad you brought this up. This is how relevant this topic is. Just last week, okay, so last Friday, we had an appointment to have an ultrasound, and we knew at this point in the pregnancy that there might be, we'd be able to see if there was a penis or not. So prior, like on Thursday, I posted on Facebook,

which is just family and friends on Facebook. That's how I treat Facebook. And I said, make your predictions now because we're going to know tomorrow, boy or girl. And you're right. Monica's family seems to believe very strongly that you can determine the sex of a baby by looking at the belly which is a hundred percent ridiculous and false it's so dumb it's it's you have a 50 50 chance so you know it's

like a blind squirrel finding a nut or a broken clock being correct a couple of times a day they usually they can nail it 50 of the time but i think uh one of monica's aunts said that it was a small pointy belly and therefore has to be a boy. Which makes no sense because the photo that was attached to the picture, there was no indication whatsoever that there was a pointy belly. You couldn't tell she was clothed. Well, I know. It's ridiculous. First of all, you can't tell it fact is, if you talk to any OBGYN or any technician, the only difference

at this point in the pregnancy between the male and female child is actually the genitalia. That's the only difference. There's nothing they can look at. There's no heart rate pattern or size or anything other than the fact that there will be a penis between the legs or there will be a vagina. And that is it. Please stop. Just stop talking about what you think the baby or there will be a vagina. And that is it. Please stop. Just stop talking about what you think the baby is going to be.

You have no fucking clue. I agree. I think it's a fun game. But your guess, as long as you acknowledge your guessing. But these people don't acknowledge their guessing. No. It is a matter of fact. There's a lot of nonsense there.

I agree with you 100%. No one calls them out on it. We don't hang them up. We don't, you know, there's nothing, remembers. No one calls him out on it. We don't hang him up. We don't, you know, there's nothing, no consequence for being an idiot. New rule. From now on, if you claim to know the sex based on the shape of the belly and you are wrong, you are banned from that game for a period of five years.

And someone should be able to punch you in the belly. And you have to wear a funny hat in public. You know what sucks? What sucks, Mike? The lack of waterfront on Toronto's waterfront trail. What do you mean here? All right. So I'm speaking specifically in the west end of Toronto. So it's actually called the waterfront trail.

And it runs on the bottom of the entire city along the waterfront. But once you get to a street called Norris Crescent in Mimico, so you're on the waterfront, everything's peachy keen, and you get to Norris Crescent. Basically, you're forced off the waterfront if you're going west. And it puts you onto Lakeshore, which is a very busy street. Recently, a cyclist died, and I have a story coming up about something that happened to me on this street recently. And you're forced,

basically, for the remainder of the trip to Mississauga, there's a little waterfront, but most of it is actually not waterfront, and you'll spend it on a street called Lake Promenade. It's because the waterfront is owned by private citizens who, you know, not want us uh publicly cycling on their their property so i just think it sucks that in the west end of toronto uh so little i'm gonna i don't know the exact numbers i have to take out my ruler and figure this out but so little of the waterfront trail is actually on the waterfront does it return to the waterfront at some point in time when you in mississauga a little uh i? I never take it. I usually cut back at like Cothra.

So you do have a little waterfront in Mississauga. You have a little bit in like New Toronto, like in a couple of these big parks, you'll hit the waterfront again. That's a park called Colonel Samuel Smith and a park called Marie Curtis. But the vast majority of this route, which I

take every day, and I know intimately at this point I think i just saw it at 39 times since i moved uh it's you see houses on the south end i'm i wonder if going east is the same thing because i know that you can you could theoretically cycle out to oshawa along the trail as well i'm just not sure if it's along the waterfront the whole way i suspect that it might be because taking the GO train out that way, there isn't a lot of development on the waterfront. There is a lot of park area, but you're probably right that there's probably areas in the East End

that's duplicated the same way. Well, at this, and I know this won't, you know, if you're not from the West End, Norris Crescent won't mean anything to you, but Norris Crescent is where they force you off the waterfront, mainly because there's a bunch of apartments now that own this waterfront,

and I guess they have it as private property for people who rent there or whatever i just wish and i don't know how this is how legal it is and i don't know how i'd feel if i spent like four million on waterfront property i'd probably you know sue the city to kingdom come but i just wish there was a way to what would be the term x x what's the term I'm looking for when the city can somehow take land back to do a waterfront trail all along? Imagine you could go all along the waterfront from the east end of the city to the west. How amazing would that be? Walking or biking. This city and the cities in southern Ontario have not been the greatest when it comes to actually planning far ahead. We've got the

failed Spadina Expressway as an example. We've got, you know, a lack of waterfront. Forget about trails, just a lack of waterfront. You go to cities like San Francisco and Vancouver that have similar type of waterfront that we could have. But but you know our politicians have failed us for decades um in this particular area so you know i'm not sure that you know we can ever fix it mayor ford let us raise the property taxes another 60 to help take back the waterfront trail you know what sucks mike other than that ridiculous statement? What sucks, Elvis? This is timely. We're taping this on a Tuesday morning, and it was just announced that TSN has lost the NHL broadcast rights.

Rogers Communications, along with their partner CBC, has won an exclusive 12-year deal with the NHL. And it sucks for a couple of reasons. One is who knows how much this is going to cost everyone in this country from a taxpayer perspective. I'm not sure why the CBC is involved in broadcasting public or professional sports in the first place, but that's a whole other topic the second aspect is you know we lose the the the uh some really great uh broadcasters the ability to see them in in all their glory uh guys like bob mckenzie and darren dreger and james duffy are going to be reduced to um different types of roles on tsn

if they even stay i think they'll be like the Nick Kiprioses of TSN. I'm not sure what that means. Because Nick Kiprioses is on, they have games on Sportsnet, right? Bad example. So it's just, they're going to be there talking about the NHL, but they may not be there too, right? I mean, if you are a guy like James Duffy, and you want to work with the NHL, then you've got to go somewhere else. And it's just a shame that TSN is we grew up with tsn we remember when tsn was had that black logo with the yellow uh the yellow

light spelling at tsn it's just the end of an era it's the end of an era and it uh it just is sad to not have that the variety that um you know we we used to have when it came to nhl when does this deal kick in like this is like few years off, isn't it? I think it's next season or the season after. It's pretty new. And it goes into, I don't know, it's 12 years. This reminds me of when CBC lost the rights to the Olympics to CTV, and Brian Williams was the face of the Olympics,

and then he jumped ship. Although I noticed the next Olympics is back on CBC and Brian Williams is still on TSN. Yeah, the Puck Daddy pointed out that this could be karma kicking TSN in the ass because they purchased the Hockey Night in Canada theme or the original theme. That's right. The only time that they're really going to be able to play it,

I guess, would be if they do offer a hockey show, which I'm guessing that they still will, and during the World Juniors. I'm kind of just waking up to this news. Right now, you're right. I totally forgot. Right now, of course, some games are on Sportsnet. I'm talking about Leaf games right now. Some are on

Sportsnet. Some are on TSN. Of course, Hockey Night in Canada is on CBC. And Leafs TV. So you're saying TSN will get zero games. TSN is going to get zero games. Every game will be on a Rogers property, of which they said there could be a maximum of seven or nine games on in one evening on all of their properties. So including City TV and... Much music?

Is that a... Oh, I don't even... You know, I've lost track. So it's just it's it you know it's basically going to be for for most of us it'll be on sports net and leafs tv you know the games that we're going to want to watch here in toronto so it's you know i'm used to now uh all blue jay games are on sports net yes and like you know what i will say is it's too bad and you're right your point's valid you know a lot of these guys uh bob menzie, for example, now they don't have games.

But I will say what sucks is TSN seems to do a much better job, in my opinion, of games than sports. Sportsnet seems a little more amateur compared to TSN. Yeah, and I like their – I really like Nick Kipros. He grabbed my ass once. I know. We've talked about him, and he's come a long way, but, um, I find that TSN is coverage of things like the all-star game and the draft,

um, are just superior to, to sports net. Hopefully now they'll still cover, uh, the draft. I guess they could theoretically, but they, they,

you know, they wouldn't have rights to it. So with the NHL, let them there. So you think all because CBC is, is a crown corporation but shouldn't they be allowed to compete for properties that bring in major advertising revenue like shouldn't they be allowed to bid for like hockey night in canada for example

basically i mean i'm not saying that they shouldn't be allowed i'm not uh it bothers you because i mean they i'm gonna guess that uh hockey day in canada the ad revenue brought in for you know hockey playoffs and hockey in in Canada would be massive. They don't PVR this thing. They actually watch it live, and Canadians are very interested. Without Hockey Night in Canada, the CBC would be a very different network. I get that. But apparently, the amount of money that is being spent on this particular deal is astronomical.

So we don't know how much they've spent on it yet, but I would suspect that there's probably a lot. What they're also saying this morning is that TSN will likely be a bitter 12 years down the road for, for, for no, no, no, for hockey broadcasting rights when this deal is over.

Right, right, right. But, uh, they said that if CBC was not successful this time around, they would not be in a position to be able to bid for it again because they wouldn't have the money to do so. Yeah, and I'm a guy who cut the cord,

the cable cord for two and a half months and then came back to Rogers because he needed to see live sports in HD without having to jump through a bunch of hoops. Basically, that's why I have cable. I pay a good money to Rogers every month because I like to watch live sports. There's actually nothing else I need cable for.

I'll watch everything else I want to watch without cable. But live sports, I watched an awful Leaf game last night, and I'm quite looking forward to the Olympics, and there's a lot of live sports I just want to see effortlessly on my TV. Seek is really upset right now. I would say that uh the most valuable television property around in this day and age well would be number one definitely is the olympics because men and women watch the olympics live and they don't pvr it and they don't download it and

uh you advertisers will pay big money to be up front so if cbc wants to bid it's going to take big money to land that and if they need to bid big money in order to front. So if CBC wants to bid, it's going to take big money to land that. And if they need to bid big money in order to make money, then I don't mind if a crown corporation does that. Not sure that they make any money off the Olympics based on the amount of money that they actually pay for it, especially when it's in Sochi, but that's a topic for another day.

That's, that's informed. We're going to change our sleeping patterns in Canada. So we basically will adopt the Russian. Not sure about that, but that'll be another, your blog sucks. We'll be the time zones in Russian.

Yeah, exactly. You know what sucks? What sucks, Mike? When your son's voice is deeper than yours. Isn't your daughter's voice is deeper than yours, too? I need a hey now. The fact of the matter is I don't have a Tom Rivers deep voice. Right. I think we talked about this last week.

I wanted to be Tom Rivers and then my voice didn't do it. I'm not going to go do some kind of like trachea scraping procedure or do exercise. It is what it is. This is au naturel. And that's fine. I don't even mind. I don't mind. But it bothers me that my 11-year-old, 11.

Did I mention 11? 11. And this is not a joke. I'm not even doing hyperbole here. Monica will vouch for this. You can phone James tonight and ask him to talk to you. I've spoken to him. It's fine.

The 11-year-old James has a deeper voice than I do. It happens, man. It happens. I know, and I don't mind it happening. It's the milk. I'm glad. I want him to have Tom Rivers' voice. Maybe. It happens, man. But I know, and I don't mind it happening. I'm glad. I want him to have Tom Rivers' voice. But maybe.

But I just feel like he could have done this at maybe 14, maybe, or 15. He's pretty close to being taller than you as well, isn't he? He's close, yeah. He's taller than Monica, and he's catching up to me pretty quick. That's insane. It's just, I feel like I thought I was going to have the deeper voice until he was at least a teenager. Is your daughter going to be tall as well? I can't remember. No, she's like

no. She's not tall. Not tall. No. And she doesn't have a deep voice. I'll take that. Her voice is super high, very high. She won't listen to this, trust me. Keep her away from your blog site. So I have two daughters and I will never experience that hopefully anyway unless one of my daughters

grows up to be like Chyna. But that was steroids. I guess. If your daughter's going to take testosterone to get that. She is a large woman, though. Chyna? Yeah. I know, but she's tall, though, is what I'm saying.

Yeah, true. She was tall, and then she took steroids and got a deeper voice. Every time I think of Chyna, I think of Fred Norris doing China's voice. Oh, yeah. That's excellent. He's the greatest. That's excellent. So great. You know what sucks, Mike? What sucks, Elvis?

Parking lot drivers. I really don't understand why people feel that when they get into the parking lot, suddenly all rules of the road go out the window now i get the fact that a police officer cannot give you a ticket from what i understand when you're in a police when you're in a parking lot for driving infractions because it is technically private property and so it would have to be a security guard employed by that particular uh whatever to give you a driving infraction i did not even know that but this i i was, I was just out of Starbucks here close to your house and there is one, one driveway into the Starbucks and it's very much made so that you have to go around the building one way in order to keep the traffic flowing and make sure that

you don't have a head-on collision as people are exiting and entering the lot. People are, I was sitting there doing work this morning, and I could see every single person who was coming in did not want to drive around the building and would take the shortcut and go in the wrong way to get the parking spot that was the same parking spot they could have got if they just took an extra seven seconds out of their life. It really bothers me because it just makes – when know, when people don't follow the rules, it just really drives me up the wall. And I know it's stupid, but it's just really,

just come on, use your head when you're in a parking lot. And at this time of year, it just gets worse. This is actually my now, this is my blackout period. I will not go near a mall. Try to avoid parking lots in general, actually, until after Christmas. This is going to be a madhouse. I will park the farthest away that I possibly can. That's it. I like the walk.

I like to walk anyway. I will park as far away. Absolutely. We had to go to Costco a week ago to get something and I just went straight for the furthest corner. I could have had a spot next to the door. It didn't matter. I'm going to the furthest corner. I'm not going to mess with this and then then i'm gonna walk and having a nice little calm walk yeah and even with my 18 month old i will pick her up and i will carry her she can walk parking

lot not in a parking lot are you mental freaking get run over by these mental i forget it's insane i can tell you that the um is this the evans and kipling one this is the evidence that's kind of a strange configuration right it is this i haven't used itpling one this is the evidence that's kind of a strange configuration right it is this i haven't used it yet i've only driven by it but uh it's the only starbucks like around i can't even imagine where the next one is i think six points is where the next one is like i i think so yeah dundas or whatever yeah uh but i it does seem like a strange so can you so you can only go one you have to come in from one side so you go in you go in and you have to make an immediate you go in from evans you go in from evans okay you have to come in from one side. So you go in and you have to make an immediate... But you go in from Evans?

You go in from Evans. You have to make an immediate right and drive around the building, which is one way, in order to be able to park. And they have parking all the way around the building. There's plenty of parking. I didn't even know they had parking. For some reason, I thought it was like drive-through only. Plenty of parking.

There is no drive-through. Well, there's one at Kipling Station. There's a new one. Oh, is there? Yeah. Kipling and... But most people, what they do is instead of when they drive in, instead of immediately hanging right to go around the building,

they go straight and then park on the left-hand side. People are assholes. But people who are coming around the building are going to ram right into them head on. So it's just, guys, get your head on your shoulders. What did you order? What did you order? I ordered what I always order. Cappuccino.

No, doppio espresso. Double espresso. Are you going to kick off that morning espresso blog again, or is that still sleeping? Are you thinking about it? I don't have the time. All right. I'm just curious. You know what sucks?

What sucks, Mike? Wet streetcar tracks. Explain. I must explain. I consider myself a very good biker. I'm not like a Sons of Anarchy biker, but like a cyclist. I've got to clarify. I call myself a biker, and then some guys think I'm cooler than I am.

So no, definitely not a motorbike, but a bicycle. Just Friday when I went to the ultrasound to find out we're having a boy. I don't know if I mentioned that earlier, but it's going to be a boy. Friday when I went to the ultrasound to find out we're having a boy. I don't know if I mentioned that earlier, but it's going to be a boy. I drove Monica there, but I had my bike in the back so I could bike back and she would take the car to work. And I'm biking back from St. Joe's and I'm biking. I had to get onto Lakeshore at Norris Crescent because the lakefront disappeared on me. So I'm now just crossing lakeshore uh it was a very rainy day on friday and i'm crossing lakeshore which has a lot of streetcar tracks

and i felt i'm a competent biker i've done this a million times but my i guess that when these streetcar tracks are wet they're basically like a black ice it was like black ice because when my front tire hit the streetcar track in order to cross over like this i'm i know no one can see this but you can see it uh my my tire got stuck in the streetcar track and kind of went six inches beyond my control and i actually went over the top and crashed onto the ground this is my second bike crash of the summer and i went down hard and this is actually in my life. And I only started wearing a helmet in my adult life.

So as a teenager and a child, I never wore a bike helmet. But I do wear one now. And I was wearing one at this time. My helmet crashed onto the ground. And it's the first time in my life that my head has hit the ground in a bike accident. And it was quite alarming. And I had no control because of this very brief pass over these streetcar tracks it was like ice and i realized like and i told my kids about it that night i said uh never basically never bike over streetcar tracks was my new rule uh especially when it's

wet because it was so you didn't cross the track sort of at a 90 degree it wasn't 90 degree no it was like a 45 it was like a 45 it was like a 45. It was like a 45. It was like a 45. Great. That's just the one. Cause I just wanted to get back on the right side where there was no streetcar tracks. I could get home.

Right. Right. Right. And I was, you know, and it's just, it's just enough, just enough angle that the tires slipped in and crashed out.

And then I went down hard and then, you know, uh, you hit the ground. And my first thought is like, is anything like, I felt fine. Cause I wore a helmet and I actually felt fine. And I'm like, is anything broken? No. And then of course the next thing is like thought is like is anything like i felt fine because i wore a helmet and i actually felt fine and i'm like is anything broken no and then of course the next thing is

like is my bike okay so i just pulled my bike so three lessons here yeah one is wear a helmet when you're deaf if i wasn't wearing a helmet by the way i would have been hurt two yeah two uh two is cross wet streetcar track tracks a 90-degree angle. Or walk across. And number three is drive whenever you possibly can and never ride. I didn't say that one. I thought that would be a good lesson. Thanks for listening.

You know what else sucks? What? Your blog. Your blog sucks. Outro Music