Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Your Blog Sucks #4

Episode Date: June 18, 2013

Mike and Elvis discuss what sucks this week.

And now, it's time for Your Blog Sucks. Welcome to Your Blog Sucks. I'm Mike from TorontoMike.com and joining me is my brother from another mother, Elvis. Episode 4 begins now. Episode 4 begins now. Well, welcome to the club, Mike. You're married. I've never been married before. This feels very different. This is the first podcast that we've done where you're a married man.

I don't see any jewelry on you, though. Oh, I don't like wearing the ring because I'm one of those guys. I'll wear it to special events. What are you? What are you, my dad? I can't wear my ring because I, you know, I work with my hands and I'm worried about ripping my finger off. OK, I have a finger that fluctuates. It goes from thin and then it thickens and then it feels tight.

Is your finger your penis? It becomes engorged. Yeah. When I get aroused, my finger swells. All right, let me just say that that sucks. Guy, you're married, wear a ring. That's the only thing you really have to do. I wore it on Saturday.

For half the day. And I didn't want to sleep in it, so I got home and put it away. Actually, when I get home, usually I take it off and put it in. So you're wearing it right now? I wear it all the time. Because it helps you pick up When I'm outside of the house, it's always on my finger.

I'm glad Monica doesn't listen to this podcast. She's usually part of the studio audience, but she's not here today. There was no room for her. It was a full house. It is. This is episode four, and we're certainly growing in popularity with the live studio audience, which is fun. So that person who liked episode one and didn't like episode two, did they like episode three?

She did. She absolutely thought that we were much better in episode three, definitely more on our game. And so she went to iTunes and liked it. She gave us a five-star review, and that was very nice of her to do that. If all six of our listeners could do that, it would be great service to the Your Blog Sucks franchise. It would be fantastic.

If you could go to iTunes and like our blog, that would be much appreciated. We'll pay you back. And perhaps once we have tickets available for the live studio audience, we can include you on that list. But right now there is a very long waiting list. And before we even dive into Your Blog Sucks, what really sucks is my recording skills because I effed up. I hope that people can hear this because I was going to change the recording level volume in GarageBand and it was ghosted out and I wasn't able to change it. So I had to kind of undo some changes I made on the mixing board. So I think this will be so quiet. You're all jacking this and then make... You're all jacking

this. I need to clarify. But when you're done listening, you have to turn down your volume or you'll break your eardrums. We'll get it one of these days. And tell me something else interesting, Elvis, while I actually have my tablet working now. Tell us something else. Well, I don't want to steal too much of your thunder,

but, of course, Mike's wedding was on Saturday, and it was quite uh quite the event it was very much uh the type of wedding that i expected to attend when toronto mike was the co-host it was very uh unique um i don't know if that's a compliment no no i was just gonna say in a very good way it wasn't a traditional ceremony for one, which is good. I like that. It's always interesting when you go to weddings and either one or the other partners have children there. So that always makes it fun. Your kids are absolutely gorgeous and very, very cute. And so that was fun. And it's always interesting to see people out of their element, right?

I mean, that was probably the first time you saw me in a suit. I was able to have dinner with Humble and Fred as well as Rosie and El Duce, a couple of people that, you know, I had met Humble and Fred when I was a teenager. So it was interesting to get to know some of your friends and see your family in their glory. So it was a really good time. It was awesome having you and Mrs. Elvis there. She had a great time.

It was the first time in a long time that we've been out without our kids with us, so it was a fun time. She is far too pretty for you. She is. I'm a very lucky man. And you know what? One of the best parts about that whole event was, you know how there's that awkward break in between the ceremony and the reception at weddings you go to? And when you're in Woodbridge and you go to this huge banquet hall, there's nowhere really to go. Mike and Monica got married in the distillery district.

And so it was great to just walk literally, you know, maybe, you know, I don't know, a couple hundred meters. And we found a patio and just sat down and had a couple of beers. That's what we were thinking. If the sun comes out and it did, then everybody would enjoy this. Oh, it's fantastic. Whatever, 90 minute break. We sat down and enjoyed a couple of beers and some good conversation with my wife that I haven't been able to have in a really long time. Because of all the, you know, the things that are going on in our house with two young children.

So it was just a really fun time. Two things. Is it safe to say I saved your marriage? Is that safe to say? Sure. I didn't realize it needed to be saved. Well, then secondly, let's hope her sight never returns. Hey, now. Speaking of the wedding, you know what sucks? What sucks, Mike? ultra conservative in-laws i made a speech and i wrote it and here it is i'm going to show you okay yeah and i printed it and i put it in my tuxedo pocket and i read it and i felt monica my bride would enjoy this speech and i knew she'd be cool with it because i know her so well and she did enjoy it and she was cool with it.

But I, a line in this speech as God and Monica's, Monica's parents have been harassing her and bothering her that about this line I had in my speech. I don't know what Monica's supposed to do, like go back in time and somehow edit my speech. Like, I don't even know what the point of telling Monica is. You don't like a line in her new husband's speech. They've been going at her. There's two lines. I don't think they got the first line.

Our table certainly got it. Can I quickly read my time? Can I read this speech and then see if anyone can guess? Do you have time? Okay, I'll do it fast. Babe, I'm do it fast. Babe, I'm a very lucky guy.

Me? Are you talking to me or are you talking to Monica? I'm talking to Monica. All right, okay. So I'm looking at Monica. All right, okay. I'm living a dream and I don't ever want to wake up. Great, so far?

Before I begin my little speech, I want to thank you for letting me slip the violent femme's blister in the sun into the ceremony. Period. That would have been great. I can now safely tell you that it's an ode to masturbation. Not good. That one did not get me in trouble. That got a pretty big reaction from our table though. But did not get me in trouble. And by the way, I'm not in trouble with Monica. She loves this speech. All of it. Okay. It's, she's in trouble with her parents. Now that I got that off my chest onto my little speech,

I first want to thank our families and friends for all their help and support of today. In fact, I want to sincerely thank every one of you who gave up your Saturday to share our special day. I'm glad you're all here. You're all appreciated. Very nice. Very sincere.

Came off very genuine. It was genuine. When people thank the audience, it tends to go over like a loop. Because I only looked at the people I actually like. That's why I didn't look at you. I'm sorry. Babe, you're super smart, smoking hot,

accomplished, quick-witted, and amazing in both the kitchen and bedroom. Yeah, that's what got you in trouble, right? I'll finish up and then we'll come right back to that spot. You're absolutely perfect. I'm so damn lucky that I get to be your husband. My beautiful boy James loves you. My darling Michelle loves you.

My mom loves you. My brothers love you. Raging Storm loves you. Pause so Raging Storm can hear. Everybody loves you. Raging Storm is my slow pitch team, by the way. And they had a table. Roy, I changed this to Mr. and Mrs. C.

Mr. and Mrs. C, you've raised an amazing woman. She's kind, caring, compassionate, and independent. Brother and sister, your sister is a multi talented gem, but you already know that. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you, mon.

I love you, babe. So that's my speech. See, the problem is that the parents didn't get to hear the nice things you said about them at the end because they were still concentrating on you banging their daughter. You're not supposed to remind the father that you were banging her daughter. So I'm a man of 2013.

I live in 2013, and I am 38 years old, and my new bride is 31 years old. Was I supposed to pretend that she was a virgin? Like, was that what I was supposed to do? I'm not going to tell you. I didn't say anything explicit. Like this is PG. I knew my kids were in the room.

The line amazing in both the kitchen and bedroom goes over the heads of anyone who doesn't know about sex and everyone who knows about sex knows what I'm saying, but it's totally PG. I'm not suggesting that you don't know your audience, because I think that you're smart enough to know how it can be interpreted, right? But you've got to have a little bit of a sense of humor here and enjoy... I appreciate this.

But this is also... They have two daughters. This is their oldest daughter getting married, so this is a very special time for especially Roy. Probably a bittersweet day. And I'm going to guess that he doesn't want to be reminded. He's not the one who's mad. The mom is mad.

He wants to and she wants to live in denial that their daughter, their darling daughter. But she's lived with me since February 1st. Yes, but you have a two bedroom apartment. You're not living in the same bedroom. Hey, who doesn't like to sleep in bunk beds? All right, so you agree that you think that was inappropriate for a woman to speak. I'm not suggesting it was inappropriate. I enjoyed it.

Fuck, I was laughing out loud louder than anybody else, as you probably heard. I loved it. But I can understand where they're coming from. If they're still worked up about it today is, you know, there's as many days after the wedding. They're nice with me. I saw them on the day after and they were so pleasant. So what are they saying to Monica? Oh, a couple of times.

It was, I ruined the wedding. You ruined it? Yeah, with that line in that speech. And I basically rolled my, I said, I threw up my hands and said, like, I can't. Oh, that's why what sucks here is ultra conservative, uh, in-laws when you're not a conservative guy. Like, you know what the problem was? My cleaned up version.

The problem is, is that with a lot of these things is that we don't know the rules that people come to the wedding with. Right. And I don't know the old school Filipino cultural rules. Well, it's not even, I don't think it's a Filipino thing. That's not, I don't think we need to throw. I think it is. I don't think we need to throw the culture.

But they're ultra Catholic. Right. Which has nothing to do with being Filipino. Because you could easily have offended somebody who was WASPy too, who just happened to be overly conservative here as well. So I can understand where they're coming from. But really, I'm not sure if they should have said anything to Monica. No, and that's my point.

Okay, fine, you didn't like it, but my words are my own. Don't put it on Monica. She didn't see my speech. Right, and really, it's not her. It's not for her to deal with. I think, if anything, if they either keep it to themselves or they should have said to you, you know what? We could have done without that. But really, what does that do at the end of the day anyway? I don't know. It's our wedding.

Like you said, you can't go back in time, so it does suck. You know what else? They also didn't love my friend Humble Howard's speech, but I didn't know. It's our wedding. Like you said, you can't go back in time. So it does suck. They also didn't love my friend Humble Howard's speech, but I didn't know how much they go into it. Let's just say that Humble Howard was not on the docket.

He wasn't on the PC level. He wasn't scheduled to speak and he was encouraged to speak after he had a couple of glasses of wine. I think it made it a little bit easier for him to get up there

and say some things. That was, again, as an audience member, extremely funny. You know, I loved it. And Mon wine, I think it made it a little bit easier for him to get up there and say some things. That was, again, as an audience member, extremely funny. You know, I loved it. And Monk, I loved it. I know you would have. I mean, it's a dream of yours to have Humble and Fred speak at your wedding, let alone appear at the wedding. I think it might have been, someone might have recorded it.

Because if I can get that, that would be the biggest. Mal Hala was the greatest thing. Yeah, that's hawaiian right yeah it's hawaiian he greeted the filipino crowd with a hawaiian hawaiian greeting but there was a couple from hawaii oh was there one of whom freddie p had his eye on the whole night but that's a see no one on that side listens to your blog sucks this is a safe haven right yeah um i will just say what what humble did in his speech and i know we're going long in this first, but this is a very exciting topic. Humble Howard alienated the entire, one half of this room was Filipino, the other half was my people.

Right. And of various races and origins, but not Filipino. Mainly white, I noticed. It was interesting to see that your photographer was Filipino. That's her uncle. Oh, was it? Yeah, that's her uncle. It was just interesting to see all the Filipino people Filipino. That's her uncle. Oh, was it? Yeah, that's her uncle. It was just interesting to see.

No, that was not a coincidence. Yeah. So basically, Howard insinuated that the Filipino half of the room won't understand something. When in reality, there was a large part of the room that didn't understand your brother's speech. Which is out of bounds. That's a free pass. I told him yesterday, he said, was it horrific yesterday? And I wrote him an email and said, it was perfect. And that's the last words I'm saying on that speech. It was great. Your brother's speech was great. Perfect. Loved it. Great doesn't do it justice. So yeah, so that's what sucks. Ultra conservative in-laws. I'm going

to figure this out, but I don't feel like changing myself so radically. I need to be comfortable in my own skin. So I don't swear around them. I don't talk about banging their daughter around them. Well, that's good. You need to be respectful. I know. I'm respectful. I never talk about religion around them because they know I'm an atheist. They were at the wedding.

God wasn't at the wedding. And that's an issue in itself. But I think they've dealt with that one by now. But I actually think that if God was at the wedding, they would's an issue in itself, but I think they've dealt with that one by now. But I actually think that if God was at the wedding, they would forgive this line in the speech. I think they might forgive you if you wear the ring. Yeah, I'll wear the ring. I will wear the ring.

Monica, I don't know if you're going to listen, but I will wear this ring. It just hurts my finger a little bit. Well, speaking of God, you know what else sucks, Mike? What sucks, Elvis? So one of the biggest movies of the year came out this past weekend, and that's Man of Steel, which is a classic retelling, again, of the Superman story. They've rebooted the series, which I'm very much a fan of.

I enjoyed Superman as a kid. I didn't read the comics very much. But what I don't like, what I think sucks, is people who are, apparently the movie studio is trying to encourage people to view Superman as a Jesus figure. Really? Is this another area that we need to now be concerned about? Can religion please not be mixed up with my comic books, please? It's a separation of comics and church. Church and comics is a key fundamental pillar

upon which our society is based. It doesn't make any sense. Superman is not a God figure. He's not meant to be the Messiah. Jesus is huge, especially in the southern U.S. Jesus is so huge. I can see every marketing person wanting to tie Jesus to their product.

I hate it. There's nothing sacred. There's nothing sacred. Can we not have Superman and Spider-Man and Batman to be completely godless? I get it. I get it in the sense that Batman can't be Jesus because Bruce Wayne is severely flawed. You know, Iron Man is a very, very – Tony Stark is a very flawed individual. Spider-Man is just a teenage boy.

There's no way that he could possibly be Jesus. And Superman is the guy that has all these superpowers. Does Superman bang Lois Lane? Oh, yeah. Hardcore. They got married in the comics. That ain't cool for the Jesus weeks. Well, hey, you know, I don't – I can't – I didn't really keep track of Superboy and if there was a baby or not, but I just think it sucks

that they have to use marketing to convince us that Superman is a Jesus figure. People are going to go to the movie without having the God connection. Please leave it out of my comic books. And this, just to clarify, this is the sequel to Real Steel, right? Which was Rocky with robots, and my son, stood up for the final battle and was acting it out. And I've never seen him look so happy. That's why I like Real Steel. James loved it.

There is a fantastic photo out there. It's called Man of Blue Steel, which is the Superman character with Derek Zoolander's face photoshopped onto it. It is brilliant. Nice. You know what else sucks, Elvis? What else sucks, Mike? Giving back powerful

new cars and driving home in my shitty 99 protege. So, for the wedding, I borrowed a brand new Ford Edge, fully loaded from Ford Canada, and I used it for the wedding, and thank goodness, because I had so much stuff to take to the wedding, and I had to come back and

pick up things, and it was amazing. but I got to give it back today, and I'll be driving home in my 99 Protégé, and that feeling, I get it a lot, because I borrow a lot of these high-powered cars, new cars with good engines, and then I have to drive home in my Protégé, and I have trouble, like my acceleration takes three times as long, and the brakes don't work as well, and I have to roll up my windows, and the AC doesn't work. It's just, it sucks. The only person to blame is you, though. There's nothing preventing you from going out and getting another brand new car,

or even a brand new used car, if you wanted to. Explain further how this works. Go to a dealership, call your friends at, you know, call CQ, and he can put you in touch with a couple of different dealerships. CQ apparently is in Bedwick. He's got a GM logo and a dealership. Call your friends at, you know, call CQ, and he can put you in touch with a couple of different dealerships. CQ apparently is in Bedwick. He's got a GM logo and a Honda logo. We weren't going to talk about him. So I apologize for bringing it up. But there's nothing preventing you from trading in your shitty 99 Mazda

protege and getting another brand-new car that has all the bells and whistles. Elvis, I'm saving my money for a house. Right. And I don't want to move to Oshawa. Another podcast. You know what else sucks, though, Mike? What sucks, Elvis? This bothers me,

because this is what magazines, media, newspapers, podcasts, all sorts of different types of people do to attract users and viewers and listeners. Lists. I hate lists. But let me clarify. I enjoy reading a top 10 list or watching a countdown on TV when there's context. And I think that for the most part, people who

put out lists forget that lists only really matter when I understand the context. If you just tell me what the top 10 songs are of all time, that is completely irrelevant to me. You need a criteria? Yeah. I want to understand what went into the list and what the purpose of the list is. If I were to tell you the most influential bands of all time are, that doesn't mean anything because who am I? Who is anyone to suggest who the most influential bands are? But if all you need to do is say, here are the most influential bands to me, or here are the most influential bands because of this or for this particular time period. So I'm just tired. There's been a couple of lists that come out recently that I just, you know, I would enjoy lists so much more if people would offer context to why the list is, is relevant or what the list is all about and what goes into the list.

So I'd love to be able to, you know, in future podcasts, be able to talk about some of the lists that perhaps we come up with. And this is sort of my planting the seed. I think any time any publication puts out a list, they need to offer greater context. Anytime any publication puts out a list, they need to offer greater context. We need to understand what went into the list-making process, as opposed to just saying, here are the top 100 guitarists of all time. I agree fully, because I happen to like lists, but I do agree. Sometimes these lists lack the context to make them digestible or relevant or, or interesting. Yeah.

And the most recent one, I think that probably got people, uh, commenting the most was Maxim's most recent, uh, the, the hundred most beautiful women in the world list or whatever, whatever.

I hate those lists. Cause they're useless. It's very subjective and you don't know political. Like it's whoever's available for an interview or whoever's getting a new movie coming out. And Miley Cyrus was number one which is ridiculous

it got like a huge reaction which is essentially what they wanted if you were single you wouldn't hit that right well maybe because she's rich and famous sure

but if she was a regular person no I'm not I don't think Miley Cyrus is she's not my type and that's the other thing too is that if you're going to make a list like that

you need to say what your type is you need to sort of give me a little bit of better idea of what you're looking for. Stop reading those lists. It's all about who's got an album coming out and which PR company. And they're putting money through the other side. Gwyneth Paltrow? Come on. Come on. No, that's what

Most Beautiful Woman in the World? Is that promoting some new Iron Man or something? Exactly. It's convenient that it came out at the same time as Iron Man 3. Bullshit. Even those Man of the Year. No, give me a break. All that's bullshit. How are we not on there? But I do like AFI's top 100 movies. And then I like those countdowns because I'm always interested

in trying to guess what's going to come up. Is The Godfather going to be number one? Is it going to be Citizen Kane again? That kind of crap I like. Well, the other thing too is when you have lists, especially with a radio station that we used to listen to

that is now garbage in my opinion, they come out with every year the top 100. Well, that's nonsense because they actually tell you these are the 100 songs you can vote for. Right. They draw the top, let's say top. Okay, I don't know how it works. They'll give you here's 150. They'll give you 102 songs and say rank these.

But if you're one year, if you're looking at the top albums of all time, and one year it's Nirvana's Nevermind, and then the next year it's Radiohead, how is that even possible? I can understand if a new album circumvented one of the previous albums, but how is it that a year later… Dude, that station you're talking about, this discussion is almost silly because one year that station will tell you how soon is now from the smiths is the number one song of all time and then fast forward i don't know eight years and the number one song is jump around by house of pain like that's like almost a real example right there see lists suck it all depends on yeah it all sucks because you have to look for that watch out for the hidden agenda and ulterior motive with lists. Right. If you hear a list on our show, we will be fully transparent as to how we came up with the list.

Absolutely. We'll pull it out of our asses. You know what sucks? What sucks, Mike? Cheryl bashing. I'll be very brief on this, because I actually wrote about this yesterday on torontomic.com. But Cheryl is a long time, over a thousand comments on torontomic.com, and she is blind.

But she is also not, and she doesn't listen to this, so hi Cheryl, I know you're never going to hear this. But she's not self-aware. And I find when you pick on someone who's not self-aware, not only is it too easy, but it's not fun anymore. Pick on someone who's not self-aware. Not only is it too easy, but it's not fun anymore. It's sort of like, and this is not Cheryl, so I'm not talking to Cheryl, but it would be like picking on somebody with Down syndrome. It's not funny.

I can pick on you. It's not funny. You're fair game. I'm fair game. Cheryl's not fair game because she's, I don't know what the proper way to say this is, but she's not aware. She's not self-aware. Does that make sense? Yeah, I completely agree.

And I enjoy her comments on your blog. I think that she adds a different element to the blog. I don't really care if she's repetitive because picking on her, saying that she's repetitive, ignores the fact that almost everybody else on the blog is repetitive. You've got people who are constantly commenting. Well, she's ultra repetitive, but that would be less tolerable from somebody like RG than it is from Cheryl because you know RG is doing it to be a dink. Cheryl is not aware that it's annoying and repetitive.

She's not aware. She's a little bit naive in this regard. I would agree. But I also think that it's unfortunate that people single her out when, again, other people are as repetitive as she is at times. You know what sucks, Mike? What sucks, Elvis? Yard sales. Oh, my.

There's construction season and yard sale season in the city and it's, you know, you drive around and you've got the sides of the street are littered with signs for yard sales that are both coming, that are happening that day and that are out of date, that have happened weeks and weeks and weeks ago. That sucks for one. But two, why is it that I'm going to go to your house and sift through all of your junk and give you money for stuff that you essentially want to throw away? And if you think about it, every time you drive by a yard sale, their yard is filled with junk. What happens to it when the yard sale is over? They just bring the junk back inside. So essentially, you're moving the junk from your basement or inside your house to your front yard, and then you're moving it back in again. Does anybody ever sell anything at a yard sale? Do they get rid of their junk? No.

It's just a transfer of junk. Just bypass the whole event of the yard sale and just throw it out or give it away. Go to like a Goodwill or something. There's a lot of people who would be willing to take it, I'm sure away. Go to like a Goodwill or something. There's a lot of people who would be willing to take it, I'm sure, if it was in the right sort of context. Give up with the yard salespeople. It's embarrassing. Yeah. As a man who tries to practice minimalization whenever possible, I do a less is more mentality with everything. I don't consume anything. I never go to a store and buy anything.

This is true. I don't buy anything. If I need something, like my phone breaks and I need a phone, I go buy a phone. But I only buy what I need and I don't consume anything extra. I got like one pair of running shoes. I'm a practical guy. I would never go to a yard sale because I just don't want any stuff. There's nothing I need. There's no stuff I need. I also get sad because I don't to a yard sale because I just don't want any stuff. There's nothing I need.

There's no stuff I need. I also get sad because I don't have a yard. And it makes me feel like teary-eyed that this person, not only do they have a yard sale, but they have a yard in which to have a sale in. And then it reminds me that I'm yardless. That's a good thing. Yard sales are just...

Yard sales suck. And you know what sucks, Elvis? What sucks, Mike? Wedding cakes. I thought I'd bookend my suckage with wedding remarks. So I'm going to close with the fact that we had to... Monica did all this work, and she did an amazing job, but she did purchase an extravagant wedding cake

that cost hundreds of dollars. It kind of gets delivered, I don't know, 8 o'clock or something. We go get pictures taken cutting this cake in some back room of the art gallery. I don't think anyone else, I don't know if people didn't, I don't know if people didn't know about the cake

or care about the cake i never care about the cake at a wedding the cake was only 10 eaten so at the end of the night this cake is 90 was left of this hundreds of dollars extravagant wedding cake that was basically existed for a picture of us cutting it that her uncle took i just think that sucks like all these things and our you said our wedding was unique. We didn't follow the blueprint of a traditional wedding. We tried to build it ourselves. But Monica wanted the wedding cake and Monica got the wedding cake. But hundreds of dollars for a big chunk of sugar that nobody really was interested in. I think that sucks.

Two quick stories about a wedding cake. We spent hundreds of dollars on our wedding cake as well. wedding cake. We spent hundreds of dollars on our wedding cake as well. And at the end of the evening at our wedding, my sister-in-law was helping us gather some things. And I think we had a two-tiered wedding cake. It was either two or three-tiered, I think. I can't remember. But she had the base of the cake, which was the largest portion. And she was speaking to me across the hall. And she says, Perry, what should I do with this? And I said, ah, just throw it out. And then I paused and I said, no, I think we should probably keep it, right? Because I was thinking maybe, you know, my wife doesn't want to actually have this tossed.

And she said, okay, and then proceeded by accident to drop it all over the floor and her dress. It was amazing. Do you have a picture of that? No. That would be great. It was great. The other thing is that there's a funny video on the internet of wedding cakes where they go to a bakery and they ask to see a cake. And they show the cake and they say, oh, okay, I like this cake.

How much is it? It's $200. Oh, okay. What would you like on it? Oh, it's for our wedding. And they're like, oh, this isn't the cake. This is not a wedding cake. And they pull out another cake that looks exactly the same. There's just a bow on it. And they said that this cake's $500. That's exactly what they do. That's exactly how wedding cakes work. And you are absolutely right. What a scam the wedding cake industry is. It sucks. It sucks. Wedding cakes suck.

Thanks for listening. You know what else sucks? What? Your blog. Your blog sucks. Outro Music