Toronto Mike'd: The Official Toronto Mike Podcast - Your Blog Sucks #6

Episode Date: July 16, 2013

Mike and Elvis discuss what sucks this sixth week.

And now, it's time for Your Blog Sucks. Welcome to Your Blog Sucks. I'm Mike from torontomike.com and joining me is my brother from another mother, Elvis. Episode 6 begins now. Episode 6 begins now. What's up, Mike? Happy birthday, Elvis. Thank you very much. Thank you. It's the day, technically the day after, but I'll take it.

This is a big day for you, I noticed, as your social media friend, that you count down the days. I do. And today, the new countdown started. I started a new countdown, and there's 364 days left until the birthday. It's a big day. You know what? And my update today was that we should live every day like it's our birthday.

I think that too many people get caught up in the shitty things in life and don't take time to sort of just celebrate themselves. And no one's going to celebrate you unless you do it yourself. Elvis, do you remember the Simpsons episode where that guy worked at the place that celebrated New Year's every night?

And the guy goes, you must be the happiest guy in the world or whatever because every night at the countdown he said kill me now you can't celebrate every day like it's your birthday or that becomes normalized and then where do you kick it up to make it special it's not celebrating

every day like it's your birthday it's living every day there's not a cake with candles every day although my daughter would love if we gave her candles. And I'd be 400 pounds because every day I'd be driving my long drive to Oshawa and eating that sugar cake, which was very good on Sunday, by the way, the sugar cake. You like the sugar cake? I loved it. Our friends at Costco made that for us. Your friends? Yeah, our good friends at Costco. It's amazing what a

membership at Costco will get you. A a membership at costco will get you a whole bunch of friends that will help you on your birthday you know you're not the first guy to tell me i should have a costco membership i've never had one but monica actually has one but i still avoid the place like the plague why is that it just seems uh like there's large quantities of everything and i feel like it makes you buy more than you need and i'm trying i'm honestly i don't know if you can tell but i'm actually trying to minimize like i've actually been going through like giving things away i gave you when you arrived today what did i have in my hand for you you gave me pineapple juice three cans of pineapple juice that's what i do when people come over when

rosie came over for uh toronto mic'd last week i had four things of lime juice but okay so here this is this is why i like costco tell me because there are some things that you need in life and whether you have one of them 12 of them or 48 of them doesn't matter i just realized the difference i just realized the difference so i will buy toilet paper there because I could have an entire, if I have the space, I could fill an entire room of toilet paper, save a little bit of money, and then not have to worry about buying toilet paper for a long time. So you can go and buy a $40 jar of Nutella. And as much as I love that, I would never do that.

We don't buy a lot of fruit and vegetables there. Toilet paper and toothpaste. No, we don't buy toothpaste either because it goes bad toothpaste has i had no idea expiration date i found that out the hard way because i i did buy toothpaste at once um but we will buy meat there because we'll freeze it right and it is it is good meat it's cheap they fill it with tenderizer i'm sure i heard it's good meat it's uh so there are some things that costco can be really good for um if you're in the in the habit of buying you know like if you need to buy something for your house or whatnot,

generally what I find is that it might not necessarily be cheaper than if you buy it at another store, but it's for the same price you get sort of the model up in terms of quality. And I just realized the big difference. I was at your place, your palatial estate on Saturday. The compound, yeah. You have a large home. Now, it's in a shitty part of Oshawa, so it would probably cost you like 40 grand or whatever.

That's right. But look, as you know, I'm almost about, I'm trying to buy a house right now. That house I was at Saturday in Oshawa for your birthday party. If I could pick up that house and drop it in the area I want, that's a $2.2 million home, my friend. It's pretty crazy. You can fit lots of Costco shit in there.

You can. We have an entire Costco room. It's just Costco shit is in there. You can have a whole entire floor for Costco. Some people actually have to show us their membership on the way in the house. That's funny. Are you ready to rock, Elvis? Let's rock it.

You know what sucks? What sucks? Mike referencing God in our national anthem. I'm a very proud Canadian. Did you know that? I did. Like I even more in the loss of like glee stars who were born in Canada. Like I'm telling you,

I don't follow any auto racing, but I'm at James Hinchcliffe's after party on sunday night because he is representing canada i'm very proud of canadians uh and very proud of canada you know what this may make me a bad canadian but i've never seen that that poor guy who passed away recently the the glee guy i've never even seen your daughters were too young my daughter had me watch the first six episodes of the first season. I was well aware of Finn. I have no idea who he is. It's certainly a sad story. Very sad. Yeah.

Anyway. And that sucks too. But we have this reference to God in our national anthem. I love our national anthem because I'm so proud of a Canadian. I want to be able to sing it with pride. But I recently learned, and maybe I relearned it, like I learned it and I forgot I learned it and I learned it again. But our anthem never used to reference God. We added it in there at some point, and I wish we could get it out of there. I wish that we had no God reference in

what is basically a patriotic anthem for your country. The English lyrics of O Canada were written by a gentleman named Robert Stanley Weir in 1908. Mike Weir's grandfather. Between 1908 and 1980, the words were significantly altered many times. And the phrase that you're referring to in the English version of the anthem is... God keep our land. God keep our land glorious and free. The original lyric was, O Canada, glorious and free. Much better. I would agree.

Now, I won't let you spin into your customary monarchy rant, because I agree with that as well. I heard them swearing in the new cabinet ministers last night, because Harper did a big shovel. And they do a major, like, I will honor our queen. And there's a huge queen component, like being loyal to the queen. And it's a huge thing. And I was thinking of you, because that's ridiculous too.

But one thing at a time let's get god out of there because uh you can be patriotic and love canada and not believe in an imaginary man in the sky and i'm but now that you agree i feel kind of disappointed i prefer when my your blog sucks topics are you completely disagree why would i disagree with that i think you know you're right we can get god out of there absolutely let's do it right now. I'm going to start a campaign. There actually is a campaign already started by the Canadian Secular Alliance. I found out that a buddy of mine is actually the president of that particular association. So you have a buddy and a friend.

Is he from Costco? No. He might have a membership. I don't know. I've never seen him there. But the Canadian Secular Alliance is where people would probably want to go to get more information about the canadian sexual alliance i'm going to go there right after this you know what else sucks mike what sucks elvis the phonetic alphabet you know why tell me i got a little bit of a story here to tell you okay

so i travel a lot for work as you know and as for for regular listeners they probably know that as well that's why we haven't been on the air for the last couple of weeks because i've been traveling a little bit uh and you had stupid meetings or whatever we only missed one week did we you came on like a friday oh right yeah yeah you're right but we missed last week you were in new york city that's right so um anyway i had to call our travel company um at work to rearrange some flights that I had booked and now needed some different times for different flights. So in order to get them to pull up my appropriate itinerary, I had to give them my reservation code. And that reservation code is a series of numbers and letters. And being someone who's been in sales for a long time, I understand that it can be a challenge to understand if I'm saying M or N.

And having the first name that I have, which we won't necessarily say here, it can be very easily confused with other types of names that are similarly spelled. Like Jelvis. Right, right. So I tried to, in sort of my haste to let them know what my reservation code was, I said the number was 7-8, and then I came across the letter C. And I tried to quickly think what the phonetic alphabet would try to tell me what I should say. Did it rhyme with bunt? No, I didn't say, I'll see you next Thursday. So instead of saying Charlie, which is what the phonetic alphabet would be, I said my reservation code is 7-8-cock-a-doodle-doo. That's beautiful.

The guy on the phone, I can't remember his name, but he burst out laughing. phone i can't remember his name but he burst out laughing my co-workers who are listening because i would work in a big sort of like open area my co-workers started laughing everyone just started laughing at this ridiculousness that of all the letters or all the words that begin with the letter c i came up with the word the word cock-a-doodle-doo and in my defense i think it was because i was trying to uh use the opportunity to to be funny as i i try to be and uh perhaps i wanted to use cock i think you were starting to say cock and you caught yourself you're in a corporate environment and you realize oh snap this is i'm not in my normal elvis seven eight cock tits i'm surprised you didn't do see you next thursday because

that would be even funnier can you imagine that ricky gervais would have done that come on seven eight see you next thursday i always think i have a last name it has an n and uh it always sounds like m i always go n as in norman what should i be saying i always go n as in norman you know what i looked so what i did was immediately after that call, I was like, I should really learn the phonetic alphabet. I didn't know there was a phonetic alphabet. Yeah, absolutely. There's like, you know, the whole, there's actually two versions. Like the army uses it, right?

Right. There's like two versions. There's an international version and then there's a sort of a NATO version, I think. We sort of use the NATO one. What's N? I don't know what N is. I got to find out because that's important. I say it all the time.

N is like... What's your name, sir? I'm getting so... N is in Norman? I'm getting so many thoughts in my head. It might be Norman. I heard it in like an episode of MASH or something. It can't be Norman.

There's no way that it's Norman. But why do I say Norman? I'm sure it was an episode of MASH. It's November. November. That's longer to say. Alpha Bravo, Charlie, Delta Echo, Foxtrot, Golf Hotel, India, Juliet. was an episode of match it's november november that's longer to say alpha bravo charlie delta echo foxtrot golf hotel india juliet kilo lima mike november oscar papa yep mike for m as in

mike m as in mike november oscar papa quebec romeo sierra tango uniform victor whiskey x-ray yankee and zulu. Nice. I've heard, yeah, the Whiskey Tango and all this. Yeah, it makes sense now. It all makes sense now. So don't use Charlie. I mean, don't use Cock-a-doodle-doo. Use Charlie.

It's a little bit more, it's a little bit easier to get across. You know what sucks, Elvis? What sucks, Mike? Monica's pre-alarm alarm. So I now, well, she's been living here since february 1st so i she wakes up many hours before me i don't know what time she's waking up but it's like 6 30 or some you know ridiculous hour like i'm at work when she's getting up is that right yeah all right well i get up a little later so um she has a pre-alarm so i think five minutes or something before her alarm goes off there's

this it's like literally a pre-alarm which is like a softer more delicate sound but she doesn't respond to the pre-alarm like the pre-alarm starts and it's like i don't know how to describe it but it's like like it's just like like and i always can't tell if i'm really hearing it or not so like every morning i can't tell if i'm really hearing it or not so like every morning i can't tell if i'm hearing something or if it's like in my dream or where i am because i'm you know it's very early in the morning for me and it really plays with my brain like it messes with my head and this thing kind of wilts for a while and she doesn't and i'm like oh and then i catch on okay monica's phone is making a noise. Like, when is she going to turn that off?

And I'm like, I won't move because for some reason I'm paralyzed in my curled up state. Does she have two devices? One device. One device with two alarms. The Android has like a pre-alarm alarm you can opt in to have or whatever. It's an Android thing. This is ridiculous. Yeah, well, it's sort of like, I guess you could wake up with a pre-alarm and it's not going to wake up the guy sleeping beside you or something and then if you miss the pre-alarm five

minutes later the real alarm is going to go which is going to wake you up but she never i i stay still they're hearing this pre-alarm like sifting through the air like it's very soft and delicate but i hear it right away like it wakes me up i don't need a real alarm i can wake up on the pre-alarm and i keep all I do is in my head, I talk to her in my head. I'm like, Monica, turn it off.

Get up and turn it off. Get up and turn it off. And she doesn't respond. And it sucks because for five minutes, I can't sleep my beautiful sleep because I'm hearing this pre-alarm. And the pre-alarm goes off

for the full five minutes? I think it's five minutes. That's ridiculous. She's playing basically a song. It's like a song, but it's really quiet. I had to play it. It's like a gentle, it's five minutes that's ridiculous so she's playing basically a song it's like a song but it's really quiet you're like in a play it's like a gentle it's like spa music it's like gentle quiet music that sort of wafts through the air now is she like what kind of alarm is it that happens at that at the end of the five the real alarm no it's nothing that harsh actually no you know those those alarms are. Those are our alarms from our youth.

You can get that alarm on your phone, though. You can get it, yeah, but no one's using those. These are nice beats and stuff. They're much gentler. I think somebody got smart at some point and realized waking up to like, it scares you awake and it messes up your day.

I use an alarm like that. Oh, it's an ugly alarm. I haven't heard that since I was a kid. First of all, I always woke up to the radio. used to do that too i like the radio but um yeah once the real alarm it takes like two seconds and she's hit it i don't do the radio anymore though because i can't program serious to come on at a certain time yeah but can you program uh toronto mic to start at a certain time my podcast? Probably, but I haven't figured it out. Monica, how about Monica's alarm sucks. Monica's pre-alarm sucks. Her alarm's fine.

I'm okay with it. You know, you got to wake up. You got to get to work and then you can hit it and go. But the pre-alarm sucks because she doesn't seem to hear it. It's like a dog whistle, I guess. I'm hearing this thing loud and clear. I'm like, oh, turn off your damn alarm. But she doesn't hear it at all until the real alarm. It'd be amazing if the pre-alarm caused you to wet your bed or something.

I would argue, yeah. I would argue she doesn't need this pre-alarm. Maybe we don't need – we can disable the pre-alarm pretty easily. I think that might be the solution. Yeah, don't they say that the longer you sort of stay in that sort of half-asleep, half-awake state, the more tired you're going to be? That's why the snooze button is so bad. Have you ever used the snooze button? I do sometimes. I've never in my life why the snooze button is so bad. Have you ever used the snooze button? I do sometimes.

I've never in my life hit the snooze button in my entire life. On my phone, when the alarm goes off, I can pick up my phone and just shake it and it automatically goes into a 10-minute snooze. But I try to avoid that just because it's, again, I end up feeling more tired and then more late, right? Which is the most obvious. Mike, you know what sucks?

What sucks, Elvis? Which is the most obvious. Mike, you know what sucks? What sucks, Elvis? Espresso. Now, I am a huge espresso drinker. That is all I drink. I do not drink coffee. I do not drink tea. I rarely, you know, will drink anything other than an espresso. That's why I didn't make you a coffee today.

Correct. Thank you. I am also from a culture where my relatives routinely mispronounce English words because English is not their first language. Can we say it's a Croatian? Can you say that? It's Italian. Okay. Starbucks and a fully functioning Canadian person whose first language is English will take down my order and say, okay, I'll get you an X-spresso. There's no X in espresso, people. And you're, like, my relatives sometimes say X-spresso because it's, you know, English is not their

first language. Can I make a compare a compare is it when you hear people say the word ask and they say ax is it the same i guess it could be kind of an ebonic thing is that a racist thing for me oh i don't know i wasn't i was i wasn't sure what kind of thing i don't know i don't know um so you're saying it bothers me it bothers me when people say expresso when they have no excuse to say expresso other than the fact that they're lazy and don't know how to say the real word. Do you think it's like the word et cetera, which a lot of people think is et cetera? Like do you think maybe they think it is expresso? Yeah.

Well, I think it's people who don't really understand the word and don't take the time to actually learn it. I mean there are so many examples of that in our life, right, in our world of people just being lazy with words and grammar and whatnot, and just not realizing that there's no X in espresso. If I may defend the espresso sayers, it's a high caffeine drink that you drink kind of quickly in order to speed up your day. People might think it's called expresso because it's like express. It makes you express. This is actually not a bad word. They should probably call it expresso. Okay, well, listen, you're also a lazy bastard because you would— I've never called it in my life.

I hate it. If you had ever done any research about expresso or espresso, you'd find out that there's actually less caffeine in it because— I have not done my research. Caffeine, caffeine is— That's why tea is perhaps the more caffeinated beverage than coffee and then espresso. Because the longer a beverage is in contact, the actual coffee itself is in contact with the water and the heat, the more caffeine that is extracted. So espresso is made very, very quickly and as such.

Expressly made. Correct, correct. It has a strong taste, but the caffeine content is actually not as high as the coffee that you probably have in your coffee right now. So you're telling me your little, your espresso has, if I may call it an espresso. Can we not ever start a conversation

talking about my little anything, please? That's your wife's job. talking about my little anything please that's your wife's job so your your espresso has less caffeine than my coffee correct now i'm sure someone on your your shitty blog will correct me if i'm will it be cory or will it be rixie and oakville you know what you know who would actually know is i'm thinking, is Lorne. Oh, because he did the cooking video. He did a cooking video. I saw it. I watched the cooking video.

And now we know what Lorne looks like. We know what Lorne looks like. Is that how you thought he looked like? He looks... No, I had no idea. I never even... I had no idea. He looks like a nice guy.

Cooks a great gluten-free chocolate cake. I saw that. And perhaps he knows about Espresso. And he has some mad editing skills. He does. The video looks pretty good. He does. It was pretty good. I does. It was pretty good.

I liked it. It was good. So anyway, people who say Espresso, it's Espresso. Yeah, it bugs me too. Are you okay with Axe instead of Ask? Does that bug you too? I don't like Axe. But I mean, I'm not going to Starbucks and ask Axing for an Espresso.

I guess I could. And they know what i was saying you brought some mad knowledge you had some information on the national anthem you have this knowledge about what calf beverages have most i think the caffeine knowledge you brought i think you're smarter since your birthday you weren't this smart last week i am older i mean you know what's funny is that so just to digress for a second is, you know, a lot of times when people, you ask people, they come up to you on your birthday and they're like, so how old are you?

And my response is, well, how old do you think I am? And for up until this birthday, people always guessed I was younger than I am. Now the older, the no, they were always guessing that I'm younger than I am in reality. And now at this birthday, the minimum age they usually give you like a range. The minimum age of the range that they were offering was the age that I'm actually at right now. So people were saying like, you know, I just turned 37. So people are like 37 to 40. You know, one guy said close to 50.

It's the beard. I got to get rid of the beard. I think I'm getting rid of it tonight. You know, when I get asked that question, if it's a female asking me, how old do you think I am? I take what I think and I literally chop off eight years. If I think you're 40, I say 32. That's right. I don't want to go too,

you don't want to look like you're really out to lunch, like you're just eating a liar. Now, if it's a dude, I do the opposite. So, if I think the dude's 40, I'll say 48. So, that's what I do. To me, you look 48 but thank you i appreciate i appreciate that you know what sucks what sucks mike my mom's two gigabyte uh cap on her internet at home this is a bone of contention for years now my mom bought into some uh i don't want to call it an

express package but some low tier is it an express package it's an express package some low tier with rogers she's i don't know what she's paying not too much probably 20 something dollars a month but she gets a cap of two gigabytes of throughput now she pretty much does just uh gmail and facebook so she actually can live with two gigabytes but if you want her to hear a podcast, for example, or maybe do some YouTubing or do anything outside of like textual and some small image downloads, she hits this cap. And she's really, it's funny because if she exceeds two gigabytes, she pays $5 a gigabyte. But that $5 per gigabyte might as well be $5,000, okay?

It's the scariest thing at our house. So my son will come over, and he wants to do lots. He's a big YouTube guy. He wants to go, and YouTube compresses those videos quite a bit, actually. It's not that big. Right. It's not that big a cost in the megabyte land, but it's a huge issue. What I hear when my son is over is, James, watch my gigabytes.

And I was there recently for an extended period, and I was tapping into the Wi-Fi. And we might have, I think once we blew it, I maybe used an extra gig. And that $5, the way I was taught, I swear to you, it might as well have been $5,000. And I took a $5 bill out of my pocket, threw it at her, and said, here you go, old lady. My parents are the same way with the 407.

Oh, yeah. Which I won't touch. It saves, because they live in mississauga i live in oshawa so for them to come out to my house it's a nightmare to be on the 401 especially pretty much any time of the day except for like midnight there's going to be traffic right so right and they're a little bit older and so i've suggested that you know just save time the faster you're at the house the more time you've got to spend with the grandkids the whole blah blah blah right plus it saves like years and years off of your life of course in traffic yeah but oh my goodness that that 407 cost is just you're right it's like five thousand dollars she's already saving 20 bucks having the crappiest plan i've ever heard of like are we my phone has six gigabytes on it okay i always i think the answer by the way is every time we're there my kids hot spot off my damn

phone that's the answer but i'm too lazy to do that but um it's to me uh the extra five the most this will cost you now will be an extra five you're still saving 20 bucks on your shitty plan like she won't use the internet the way we use it like i'm not saying she has to go download movies or something but like this podcast for example she she probably won't hear this because she has no sense of kilobytes to megabytes to gigabytes like she doesn't have a sense of what things weigh if you will in terms of size if life gave you a bingo card did you ever think you'd be ever to ever be able to place a chip on the box that said, Mike, watch your gigabytes? Yeah. No, I did not.

Did you ever think that you'd hear your mother say that? Or, yeah, James gets it all the time. Or, you know, watch my gigabytes, James. You call up. Like, watch my gigabytes. Like, no YouTube, please. Just textual only. I'm going to guess that she probably can't spell it.

And that's not to insult her intelligence at all. But it is, you know, it's a word that, you know, you'd probably have to think about to spell. And two, she wouldn't be able to define it. Well, I try to explain to her like this. I'll say to her, like, okay, think of, like, a podcast as a megabyte a minute, and think of a thousand megabytes as a gigabyte. So I try to give her perspective, and I'll say, you know, this 30-minute podcast, because my brother had a podcast. He still has it, but he hasn't recorded in, like, months. But but he has a podcast and my mom is really excited to hear ryan's podcast and it was such a big deal to make her just i would always say okay mom it's a half an hour podcast that's 30 megabytes okay and i'll say it like this you have 2 000 megabytes for the month

and the worst case scenario is this might cost us an extra five dollars on the month i'm like trying to give her like some perspective but it is a this cap is like a hard big deal cap to my mom and when she gets that warning yeah she'll get a warning on the bar like you're about to exceed your limit and that's it my mom goes into like just like stealth mode like computer goes out the window like no more downloading pictures of my grandson i don't need to see him with santa pulling out cables from the wall and everything oh that's great yeah uh you know what sucks mike what sucks elvis i i'm gonna be a a a bad person here and generalize and just say the entire state of iowa sucks wow the entire state entire state yeah okay so let me let me explain to you why uh there's been a lot of uh news out

of the u.s recently of some uh high profile uh court cases you know we've had like you know going back to casey anthony and that other girl who killed her boyfriend and and this zimmerman stuff and all this kind of craziness that's been going on and polluting my twitter feed correct yeah just do craziness like athletes and and singers and everything are getting into this all all this political stuff which is fine i mean that's totally they're right but iowa had a the iowa supreme court recently made a ruling that just for me as a father as someone who considers himself to be a feminist as well, is just unbelievable. A dentist has a staff of all women, and he recently fired one of those women because he said that woman was someone that he could see himself cheating on with his wife.

Wow. She sued him, obviously, for unlawful dismissal. And it went all the way up to the Iowa Supreme Court. And they agreed with this dentist that it was okay for him to fire her because she was basically too attractive for him. That Iowa sucks. Which, that's unbelievable. How is this even happening?

It's unbelievable. How is this even happening? It's unbelievable. Canada and US law. And it seems to me like we, and I'm not, maybe I'm being ethnocentric, but maybe I'm being biased because I just mentioned earlier, I love this country, but we seem to get it right. And they get it oh so very wrong. And it's frustrating to watch. You know what? We don't necessarily get it right all the time, but we do. Perhaps we just don't have the population to have as many weird things happen like they have down there it is like this is just craziness you're firing a woman for being attractive i don't know how that could be okay it doesn't make any sense and i would never keep a job there was never he he's the one who sent her inappropriate text messages he admitted that he's like i sent her he asked her

something about um uh how often she orgasms or masturbates or something. She never responded to the text messages at all in any inappropriate way whatsoever. Did he have to like, did he sever her? The funny part is, is that his replacement or her replacement is another woman. If you feel like you can't control yourself, you crazy, crazy man. Yeah. Then why don't you just hire male hygienists dental hygienists i don't get it you know the only good thing about iowa

is the field of dreams do you agree with that so iowa you suck you know what sucks elvis what sucks mike trucks with balls uh i don't know a couple ago, I had to drive my son to his camp, his overnight camp in Huntsville. So I'm making my way, I take 400 to, I think it's 11, and then 11 to Huntsville or whatever. So I'm up in Huntsville, and now I'm driving back, and I'm behind this big, it's like some GMC pickup. It's a massive pickup truck, and it's got the most realistic looking pair of testicles hanging from the back and i'm behind it for a good stretch of the 400 okay and i'm looking at it's got like a wrinkled sack it's got it's like the balls are descending like appropriately like this truck has giant balls

and i'm staring at it for this long long stretch of the, and I'm thinking, is this a thing now? We're hanging balls on the back of our trucks. I love it. Does Oshawa have this? I think it's amazing. Toronto doesn't have it. I've seen it in Toronto. This sucks. It's ridiculous, but I think it's hilarious.

Every time I see it, I laugh out loud. Because the guy himself has obviously got very tiny balls is, is really is what it is. He needs this big compensating because his trucks got big, big truck to, you know, and then I texted my,

my wife, I just said trucks with balls and I was just texting her. So later she'll say, what does that mean? So I could remember to put it in my notes for this episode, by the way. But then I told her and she laughed her ass off. She had no idea. And I just saw it for the first time. I feel like I'm missing out on a trend. Is it appropriate for me to buy a pair of big balls and hang them off the back of my Mazda Protege? Or is that the truck? You can put your balls anywhere you want, I think. When you get that new Chevy Impala,

I think you should put a pair of balls on the back of that Impala. Hey, if anybody is listening to this podcast now and has balls hanging from the back of their truck, please leave a comment or write me an email. And I need to know if anyone listening has balls on the back of their truck. And to take that a step further, if you could do us a favor and take a picture of the balls on the back of their truck. And to take that a step further, if you could do us a favor and take a picture of the balls on the back of your truck and then also a picture of your own balls so that we can compare the relative size. Send that to Elvis. I don't need to see your own balls. I would love to be able to see if you actually are compensating or not. Elvis needs to see that. That's what I'd love to be able to see, the comparative ball pictures. Hey, Elvis, I'm camping next week. You are? Yeah, so last week you went to New York City.

We missed a week. And I don't think you can record this without me because I think I own the rights. That'd be amazing. It would be a half an hour of me just going off on your blog and how much it's not. But how will you update the XML file? What?

Yeah, I got you there. You can share it on the expresso.com. Right. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Thanks for listening. You know what else sucks? What?

Your blog. Your blog sucks. Another day, come on, come on. With these ropes tied tight, can we do no wrong? Now we dream, cause now it's gone. Outro Music