Tosh Show - My AV Guy - John Alfano

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Daniel sits down with longtime friend and home theater expert to the stars John Alfano.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm Gary Veeder and I have a new limited series podcast, Number One Dad. Over this 10 part series, I'll go searching for the truth about my father, a con man who I haven't spoken to in 24 years. He wants me to act like my injury is even worse for a payout. He's posing as my attorney in a court. There were moments where Manny would assume the role of undercover police officer. Listen to Number One Dad on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

Happy Pride! It's time for a brand new podcast. Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We've decided, because we are grown, consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry,

children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadioApp Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast Sniffy's Cruising Confessions.

Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

New episodes every Thursday. From iHeart podcasts comes, does this murder make me look gay? 911, what's your emergency? or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. From iHeart Podcasts comes, Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? 911, what's your emergency? My Stavante is dead! Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Frankie Grande, Cheyenne Jackson, Robin de Jesus, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferries.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, lick-a-mick those toesies, ah, ah, ah, ah. Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, There's something different about the conversations we have late at night. They often spin off in strange and wonderful directions. So what if those laid back conversations were with some of the biggest musicians in the world? Midnight Chances, Already Welcomed, Tame Impala, Charlie XCX, Mark Ronson, Vince Staples and many more. Join me, Stuart Stubbs, and me, Greg Cochran, as we talk to our favourite musicians about the things they don't normally talk about. Listen to the new series of Midnight Chats on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your favorite shows. What's the AV budget? You're doing everything on a house.

You know, the lighting, the cameras, the TV, the theater. Our entry level jobs are around $300,000. And they go all the way up to about $6 million. It's Tosh Show. Tosh Show. Tosh Show. Tosh Show. Tosh Show. It's Tosh Show time. Who's ready to be entertained? I am. I can't hear you. I am.

You can do better than that. I want to be entertained. Shenowziges. Shenowziges. Shenowziges. Hey everybody, it's Shenowziges. Oh, Dylan, who just got back from a cruise? Ooh, that had to be fun.

I was on a cruise once for a week. Let me just, let me just. I'm learning new languages. Hey, Shanausagus, shut up. I can't shut up, I'm Shanausagus. We have to sing it. You conjured me. Shanausagus, Shanausagus, Shanausagus,

Shanausagus, Shanausagus, Shanausagus. All right, here's the thing people need to know. I'm almost 50, Eddie's over 50, and this guy, one time he created this character, and if you say his name, Shenazigus, three times, he just starts talking like that until you sing his name five times to stop talking like that. These were the rules that he came up with. And it like, it made our wives just furious. We just do it constantly.

We just randomly say the name three times. And then Eddie would go into this character, much like Andy Kaufman, minus the success and everything else. But man, did it used to tickle me. It's a divorced dragon. What is it? What's the character? It's a divorced dragon fathered to a smoker, and sometimes he pulls his diaper off.

Uh-huh. That's it. So there's the backstory to his character. That's it. It's Beetlejuice. Listen, we robbed, there's a lot of things that I'm sure stole them. Hey, I don't have any water today, you guys. What are you trying to do?

You can't do a podcast without water. That's a rule. Now, watch this. Magically. Look at that. Water. The real time, I got to be careful how many times I say the word because he'll keep track over there and then that character comes out and you can't stop him.

You can only sing him, sing him to sleep. But I used to do it in the writer's room and nobody else knew about our little inside character that he had created. And it would just, you know, just throw everything off. I would just walk by the writer's room, say his name three times, and then just leave for 45 minutes. And then I knew nothing was gonna get done that day.

Those are good times. You watching the NBA Finals, Ed? I am watching them. Who you rooting for? I mean, I can't root for Boston, so Dallas. You can't root for Boston. I like the city, don't like the sports teams. No, I hate the sports teams for the most part as well.

And I'm told as a Miami Heat fan that I have to hate the Celtics, but I don't actually hate the team. Yeah. And Dallas, now they've cost the Heat a title or two. So I could hate them. I don't, I mean, Kyrie Irving bothers me. I feel like every post-game interview,

some reporters should say, hey, just check in, you still think the earth is flat. Yes, I know. And any hot takes on Gaza? And then move on to sports-related questions. Just let it go. You just can't, it's just unacceptable to ever believe the earth was flat for a second.

And if you do, then that should, for the rest of your life, he should be, oh, I was joking. Doesn't matter. Every question should be like, oh, before I ask you about your lack of playing well in this series, is the earth flat? And I don't like Luca's whining. That bothers me. Hard to cheer for Boston. I don't hate the players though.

I worry. I feel bad for the city because there's, there's no real white person for them to cheer for. I mean, although poor Zingas, you know, when he's, when he's not hurt, technically he's, he's kind of like two white people. He's so tall. So that's probably neat for their fans. And then they've got, what's his name? What's the little guy? Peyton Pritchard. Pritchard? Oh. There should be a rule for him in the NBA that when he's playing in Boston,

he's allowed to play with a cigarette in his mouth. Because that's what he looks like to me. Like he's just called off the street and I'll play basketball. Sure, give me the ball. I know how to shoot. That'd be fun. And then what's his name?

Derek White. I know he's not white, but. Counts for something. That probably ingratiates him with the city of Boston. I don't know who I want to win. I just want,. The currently the series is let's see what is we're gonna dub in something because right now it's 2-0 but I'm this by time this airs it'll be either over or 3-1. I don't know. I

tell you what all sports franchises need to consider relocating their team to Las Vegas. That's what I want. I want every team in every sport to be in Vegas. How's that sound Eddie? It sounds great. Yeah. You want to go see live sports, you go to Vegas. They're still called the Boston Celtics, you know, the Boston Red Sox, but they play in

Vegas. How about that play-in tournament in the NBA? In Vegas, they do that outside. You have to literally play to get inside. You win, you get to play in the AC. Lose, you're out in the 110. Oh, people will die. That was like that one finals game, the Heat versus the Spurs,

when San Antonio didn't pay their A.C. bill. Yeah. LeBron was just cramping up on the sideline. Popovich, huh? Ahead of his time. But I like the idea of all sports franchises being in Vegas. These cities don't have to dole out billions of dollars

for their new stadiums. It's just in Vegas. It's fun. You to dole out billions of dollars for their new stadiums. It's just in Vegas. It's fun. You go there. You watch. You cheer. You lose money. The end. This makes Vegas relevant for the next century or so. And then you're, what are you gonna do with the old stadiums? Yeah, you keep them. You have monster truck rallies, Trump rallies, Taylor Swift shows, whatever you do. I don't know.

That's what stadiums are for. If you want to watch sports, you go to Vegas. I don't go, do you go see sports live, Eddie? Every once in a while. Every once in a while. That's a hard pass for me. I just want to stay home in front of my beautiful home entertainment system, which I paid way too much for.

Got a thousand dollar remote control, never works, doesn't hold a charge, always searching for a signal, has to log into the internet before I can hit pause. It's infuriating. I got a million complaints, but I'll save them for today's guest. Enjoy. I'm Gary Veeder, and I have a new limited series podcast

called Number One Dad. It may have been the greatest scam for a sports fan. In the 90s, my dad and I ran a con for years where we snuck into the world's most prestigious arena, New York's Madison Square Garden, and I interviewed some of the biggest athletes in the world, even Michael Jordan. But this wasn't the only scheme my dad was pulling.

He's posing as my attorney in a court. Everything my dad did was a scam. There were moments where Manny would assume the role of undercover police officer. My father's never-ending string of lies ultimately broke apart my family. And at 15 years old, I completely cut him out of my life. That was 24 years ago.

I have no idea where he lives or what he's up to. But my goal is to track him down and get to the truth about who my father, Manny Veeder, really is. My father was involved in a case from the early 90s, and I'm just trying to get information. You better hope that your dad doesn't find out about this before you're ready to talk to him. I'm sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service.

Listen to Number One Dad on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. Happy Pride. It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're gonna love the podcast. I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Steven and Lily.

You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided because we are grown consenting adults that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic.

It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, I'm home. Everyone knows that it's dad's job to be a bit of a joker. Sorry I'm late everyone. There was an accident at the factory. Monty fell into the upholstery machine.

Don't worry though, he's fully recovered. Good one dad. Did you get the pizza for dinner? So he likes to keep everyone happy with some dad jokes. Yep right here. I had a coupon and it saved me a lot of dough. Well the truth is dad is just a fun guy. Hey, I'm not a mushroom.

Please stop. Where does he get these stupid jokes from? He listens to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast. Oh great, more Dad jokes for me. We've delivered over 15,000 jokes to over 3 million listeners and man, the postage fees are killing us. Listen to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your

podcasts. There's something different about the conversations we have late at night. They often spin off in strange and wonderful directions. So we asked, what if those laid back conversations were with some of the biggest musicians in the world and some of the most interesting new artists We love right now. Midnight Chats has already welcomed Tame Impala, Charlie XCX, Mark Ronson, Vince Staples and many others Our biggest and best series is happening right now So join me, Greg Cochran and me Stuart Stubbs as we talk to our favorite musicians about the things they don't usually talk about. I'm feeling more okay with being a diva.

There was one birthday when I went to a graveyard. Every partner that I've ever had when they look at my texts with my mother are like, how are you sharing this information? Listen to the new series of Midnight Chats every Tuesday night on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your favorite shows. From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery. Does this murder make me look gay?

Master Vandy is dead! Then it's probable that whoever killed Vandy is in this very room. Lock her up. Lock her up. You killed your daddy. You don't get anything fizzy. 911, what's your emergency? I'm in the Monroe estate, and I just caught a murderer.

Yes, I'll hold. Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Douglas Sills, Cheyenne Jackson, Robyn Day Jesus, Frankie Grande, Sean Patrick Doyle, Brad Oscar, Nathan Lee Graham, Seth Rudetsky, Leah Delaria, Lea Salonga, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferri. Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay Gay as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Posh show. My guest today is the one I call when my smart home doesn't work. He's my neighbor, he's my AV guy, he's a long time friend. Please welcome John Alfano. John, Am I right? Is it John? Yep, still John. Still John. John. Are you a junior? I am. Your middle name is the same as your dad's too? Yep. Yep. Ah, your dad. You got a great father. I love your dad. I love your mom too.

You got great parents, yet you turned out kind of eh. Very questionable, yes. How many siblings do you have? Younger sister and younger brother. And you're all extremely Italian. I already know where this is going. Yeah. No, I don't. Yes.

Yes. My dad's full blood Italian and my mom's Hungarian. Your dad, a Vietnam veteran, is he? Yep. Because he wears that hat. And I've never actually checked up to make sure it wasn't stolen valor. It's funny too because like he never wore the hat until probably the last like 10 years. So like growing up. He wears it every day of his life. Now he wears it every day but like that's... Is he doing it for free

coffee? What's he doing it for? Does he get free coffee when he wears that hat? He should. I bet he does. Alright right, so your dad was an electrician. And then you became an electrician. Yep, worked for my dad. And then into that process, I thought I saw the future was going to technology. Started hanging flat TVs when they came out and running speaker wires for people.

And now you're an AV giant. And then we'll get into how much money I wasted and everyone else in the world. How many times have you been electrocuted in your life? I couldn't even count. It's something you don't even keep track of. It's like how many times you misspelled something when you start writing a letter.

Does it hurt? It's like juvenating. It's like juvenated for a second. Rejuvenating? Is that what you wanted to say? That's the word. Yes, rejuvenated. OK. It's like juvenating. Yeah, it's like juvenating for a second. Rejuvenating, is that what you wanted to say? That's the word, yes, rejuvenating. Okay. All right.

It's electrifying. Oh, so you've been electrocuted a lot. A lot. In terms of electricity, what's the most dangerous thing for someone to do themselves? Anytime you gotta take something out of the wall, you should call a professional because you have an opportunity to get shocked.

So like anything past changing your cover plates or changing a light bulb, you should probably call a professional. What about when an opportunity to get shocked. So like anything past changing your cover plates or changing a light bulb, you should probably call it professional. What about when you have to do that converter? I watched you mess that up before. Yeah. Where you didn't have a converter, it was like 240 coming out or something.

Oh, yeah, because if you get shocked by 240 versus like 120 that's cut out the walls, like that's a little bit different of a shock. Well, you didn't get shocked actually. You just plugged in my beautiful chandelier and it was 240 and every bulb just went. Just exploded. Just went.

And I was like, what in the. Like a fireworks show. You're like, this isn't 120? And I'm like, I don't fucking know. That was in my office. Oh, see, that was the office. Oh, that was 277, that's what that was. Yeah, that was commercial electricity.

Yeah, I think we fried a couple things. Now you are born and raised in Los Angeles. Correct. And we met down in Hermosa Beach at the Kami Magic Club after a show. I was a young kid at the time. I had just moved to South Bay. And then you're like, hey, I can hang a TV or something.

I don't know what I said. Yeah. And I was like, come over to my house. I got work for you already. I had no money, but I had a little house. I had bought a house, my first home in South Bay with all the money that I made from Taco Bell commercials. That was how I got to move down there. Yeah, I think the only reason you talked to me

is because I was with my girlfriend, but she had like four of her girlfriends with us. Yeah. So you were like, oh, and then we went out. But the thing was, you know, that is true, but you know, your wife's older sister was with you guys that night too. Nikki was there too?

Yeah, she's like, I bet you can't tell which one of us is older. I'm like, I can tell, you're older. How much does Heather weigh? How much does she weigh? Yeah. 115 pounds? Interesting.

I just think that's a funny question for her if she's listening. Did he just ask how much I weigh? You're a partner at A.H.T. Global. What's A.H.T. stand for? Advanced Home Theater. You're basically geek squad for the super rich. We're like geek squad for the 1% of the 1%ers.

Ooh. Yeah. If it's technology related, everything from internet and cameras We're like a geek squad for the 1% of the 1%ers. Oh. Yeah. If it's technology related, everything from internet and cameras and TVs and speakers and lighting and shades, right now the coolest thing we're doing are the LED walls. LED walls. There's no screen. There's no television.

It's just the full wall is an LED wall. Full wall, any size you can do, any shape you can do. It's like a Las Vegas sports book when you walk in. So you can watch one thing at one time. And you can watch it all in 4K? 4K, yeah. And then it never turns off. Like you make it so it never turns off.

So there's not like a black wall. It literally turns into like interactive art or something. So there's like interactive art when it's off. You can watch stuff through it. It's cameras. Can you divide it up like not make it as the full screen? Yeah, watch something small, do 10 things at one time. That's pretty good. Some houses like in basements that are windows.

It's pretty cool. TVs have gotten really cheap though, haven't they? TVs are like the stock market. Like when they come out, they're expensive for like a couple of weeks and then they drop. In about every six months, there's like a new line coming in. You fought me.

You were trying to put TVs in every room in my house, or at least the wiring, I said, don't, I don't need it. I go, the future, we're not gonna need actual hardwired TVs. And was I right? Yeah, you're the first friend and client I know that carries a TV around in a suitcase. Oh, the LG? Yes.

By the way, I've seen that one pop up on some of these blogs lately, and it's more expensive than the one I bought, or when it first came out. I got it for like 800 bucks a year ago. I love that thing. You haven't seen it yet, you'll like it. How many studs do you need to hit

for it to be strong enough to hold one of these TVs up with these brackets? Just one. One stud? They recommend two, but one stud'll do. If you just hit one bolt but one stud'll do. If you just hit one bolt, one stud, that's strong enough. Yeah, I mean there's some times we do it

with just the drywall with just the regular anchors and stuff. Well that's because TVs have gotten light. Yeah, like when plasma TVs first came out, they were like 300 pounds. Oh, I had one of those old Sonys. Yeah, like I mean it's like. I think, Eddie, is that Sony still hanging?

No, that thing died. It was heavy. Just getting it off the mount was like, oh yeah, that was a heavy TV. Holy shit You know Danny via man He still gets mad at you over the thinking that you hung a TV in his apartment crooked And this might have been 20 years ago and he won't he won't let it go. He's still like, he's like, he ripped me off, man. That TV was crooked. What kind of budget are people putting in for, let's just start with a theater.

So, you know, the glass ceiling for like a super, super high end theater with like DCI, which is first run movies like that you have like in movie theaters, right? Like if you want to watch them day in, the day they come out. What? People do this? This is people in Hollywood. There's an eclectic group of people in Hollywood who can't go to like movie theaters, right? Like if you wanna watch them day in, the day they come out. What? People do this?

This is people in Hollywood. There's an eclectic group of people in Hollywood who can't go to like movie theaters and they have the stuff in their house. But just because they can't go to the theaters doesn't mean they can't wait fucking three weeks. But if you're an executive, you need to be watching stuff. Fine, whatever.

How much does that cost? Just the entry level for that, just the equipment, just for that, not building out the room and stuff, is half a million dollars, right? Just for video equipment, the projector, and all that type of stuff. Then once you put speakers and build the room out, you're usually about a million to a million five. For their home theater.

For a home theater in somebody's house. Woo hoo hoo! Those are big numbers. Those are big numbers. My theater that you built out for me, is the fan on it is so loud. On the projector. On the projector. That's because you built out for me, as the fan on it is so loud. On the projector. On the projector.

That's because you have a laser projector, right? Like there's like a laser in there. So it's cooling everything that's in there. I don't give a fuck, it's loud. Well, you have a laser sitting over your head. I'll tell you what, the problem too, is like within six months, you're like, well yeah, you should replace that.

And I'm like, what? I thought I was gonna have that forever. There's new tech like every well, yeah, you should replace that. And I'm like, what? I thought I was gonna have that forever. There's new tech like every year, right? Think about your phones and that type of stuff. If you're buying like top-notch stuff now, you can kind of future-proof yourself for about six to eight years. You can future-proof yourself for eight years.

But if you take things that aren't as new and stuff like that, and you go to the mid-tier and that type of stuff, I mean, it's like every two years. What about security cameras? What are you spending on people's security systems? We're doing somebody's house right now that we're spending, in Malibu, like a million dollars on security cameras.

Just on the cameras? Just throughout the house. Is that P. Diddy? No. All right, so you're a million on cameras. But the camera world has changed because now everything has AI built into it. So the cameras literally have facial recognition software.

Pull the guy in wearing a blue shirt, save people, license plate readers, suspicious activity. You can drop a bag, circle something in the camera and it'll take you around the entire house every time that object was somewhere to build a story. It's not like a security guard really sitting behind a booth anymore, so if you need content, you can get it. Is it wasted money making your home a smart home?

The answer to that, for me, and not because I want to sell you, the answer is no, because everything goes smart, right? Look at the evolution of cell phones. Look at the evolution of Bluetooth speakers and everything you have. If you buy a standalone air conditioning unit, it has an app that you can control from your phone, right?

So you're going to be able to control everything in your house. And if you have a larger home, just picture like, if you live in a 20,000 square foot house, how long it would take you to turn off the lights at night? I can't imagine that. I mean, because I live in a tiny 20,000 square foot house, how long it would take you to turn off the lights? I can't imagine that. I mean, because I live in a tiny 8,000 square foot house. I just can't imagine 20,000 square foot.

Who would need such riches? Now I hate almost everything, but I will admit, you talk me into stuff and then I say yes. I will say that when everything works the way it's supposed to, I love it. I couldn't agree with you more. It makes life easier using your phone, turn on all your dumb lights and turn stuff off and what else?

I like to be able to turn my jacuzzi on with a phone because it takes about 30 minutes to heat up. So you like to do it before you get home. What's the AV budget? You're doing everything on a house. You know, the lighting, the cameras, the TV, the theater, are you like, oh, we're not a company that can do starting less than what? I think our entry-level jobs are around $300,000.

And they go all the way up to about $6 million. Okay, now you and your company, you have all my passwords to my cameras. Correct. Uh huh. And Wi-Fi. And my Wi-Fi. And Apple Tune, iTunes account.

So what keeps you, and you have to vouch for everyone that works for you? Yeah. I don't know, something bad's gonna happen. There's like a security protocol that everything sits underneath that anytime you log into these things, it makes a carbon footprint of who looked at it and how long. So we know when people are looking at this. How often are you guys just watching me and my wife walking around making love in every room? Uh, you guys watch that?

No? No. What's the most insane, I mean, like you're walking into people's homes and they're doing God knows what. I'm sure you've seen some awful things or some exciting things. Being involved in the technology in the house and you're pretty intimate with the family because of passwords and setting stuff up, music and all that kind of stuff. There's

been times where clients will get a divorce and it's like, they got to be locked out. I don't want so and so coming back. Oh, they got access on their phone, you gotta turn their access off, or like who's got access to the cameras? So you're doing that stuff? Yeah, that's like, you know, sometimes I'm like, have the lawyer call me and work it out, like who gets me in the custody? Like who gets the house and who's allowed to see it?

My kids are in that house, like I gotta see, you know, I don't care that I'm not living there anymore. So you're logging people out. Oh, that's good stuff. That's fun. What's the most common gate code people are using? Actually, the most common codes that people will use is their phone number or their address. What about password?

Password, it gets used a lot. What about 007? You guys have 007 in yours. Everybody knows my password. Well, I shouldn't. Why do I know your password? Because a lot of them you set them up and they're like, oh, just try password 007.

I'm like, all right. Try 123456789. If that doesn't work, try 0123456789. I'm like, god damn it. Where's the craziest place you've ever hidden installed a camera for a client? Let me think about this. See, I don't have any of my nanny cams on your system.

They're all not Wi-Fi, because I'm just terrified of somebody hacking into it or talking to my children. You ever seen those videos where people hack into those and they start talking to the kids? Listen, that's one thing everybody has to remember. Anything that's on the internet is hackable. What's the craziest place you've ever hidden a camera for a client? So, not that I've put it in a specific location, but I've, like, anything weird that anybody's requested,

but I did have this one client, and, like, we put 80 cameras in the inside of his house. Like, an OnlyFans person? It was just like, he was like, and it was weird. He, okay. He, and it was a big house. okay. And it was a big house. Athlete? No, nobody.

Actor? No, nobody of that nature. Business? Somebody with money, business. Business. Somebody with money. In California? In California.

Now, he had like 80 cameras inside of the house. Big house. He was the only person who lived there. He was like spying on his staff. Like, oh, I wanna make sure they made that bed up in the guest bedroom that nobody sleeps in type of thing. Like, it was just bizarre. Paranoid, maybe.

And they looked like motion, like alarm sensors he made us put in. You work in Aspen a lot. Yep. The airport's terrifying to fly into. It's the worst airport to get in and out of. Well, it's not. It's just scary, because they have to drop into it,

and then they have to take off like a rocket ship to get out of it. And if there's like wind, like 12 miles an hour, they won't do it. Do you like the homes? Are the rich people in Aspen better or worse than the rich people in Malibu? They're the same people.

Oh, it's the same people. They're just their Aspen house or Malibu house. Oh, right. Or their New York house or their Florida house, you know. Hey, you met your hero once, didn't you? Yes. Before he died. Yeah, so one of my cooler experiences I got to meet James Gandolfini, he called me to do some work.

And the first time I met him, I was at his house at Beverly Hills, I show up. He's got a full on, opens a door, full on jumpsuit. And he was like, yeah, I got this box in the garage. I want you to check out. it's got my two channel system. I love two channel, hi-fi audio. So we go to his garage, guy grabs a crowbar. It's in like a wooden crate, and he's like prying open

and like cussing, opens up, and I'm like, dude, I'm in a garage with Tony Soprano in a jumpsuit, and he's got a crowbar in his hand, open up a box. I was like, this is fucking awesome. And that's pretty neat. And he died like a month later. It was literally like in that timing of things. Do you think it had anything to do with the crowbar?

No, no, no. Do you believe in ghosts? Absolutely not. No. Yes, you do. No, I'm not stupid. There's no such thing as fucking ghosts. What about the Holy Ghost?

You already know where I stand on that. No. Oh, you don't believe in that? I thought your Italian roots would trump that. Which is ironic, but no. Let's talk Tahoe for a second. You came to visit me in Tahoe, you and your wife, and this was a long time ago,

and your wife was very pregnant with your firstborn son. Okay, I'll let you take over the story from there. So we're on vacation with you, and the snow conditions weren't that good that year. They were shit. They were up there, and it was like. And you're one of these people. I'm like, I gotta go snowboarding if we're here.

And then nobody wanted to go. Because it was shit. It was icy and there was no good snow. So I decided to go by myself. You went to North Star. Went to North Star by myself. You rode the backside, which is all black diamonds. All black diamond.

And I ate shit and woke up four days later. Okay, all right, let's, so. I'm with his extremely pregnant wife. And you know, you're not supposed to ride alone. Everyone knows that. You're not supposed to ski alone, you're not supposed to snowboard alone. And he kept going like, let's go.

I'm like, it's not in the cards, buddy. The snow is bad. I don't want to go ride on ice. It's not fun. So he goes alone because he's one of these guys. It's like, you know, it goes to Disney. It's like, well, we get there at 10 o'clock and we leave at midnight or what?

I got to get every dollar's worth. You know what I'm talking about? All right. So I'm in this house, we get a phone call, and it was like, I was like, what in the world? And it was like, I don't know how they got my phone number. No, no, they were calling your wife, but your wife was in the shower.

I remember this, oh, because I remember the water pouring down her body when I gave her the good news that her husband was dead. No, but she was in the shower, that's right. So her phone kept ringing and I answered because it had been a bit and I'm like, we haven't heard from John and it like said, police department or hospital or something.

So I answered it and they're like, there was an accident, John's in the hospital. And then I was like, wait a second, are you? And I was like, is this hospital in Reno? And I'm like, holy shit, which is always the irony. If you get really hurt in beautiful Tahoe, you wake up in Reno. Oh, and that's a bitter pill.

I have to tell his wife, I have to get her out of the shower. And like, I went in there and I like, I whipped open the shower and she's like, Daniel, no. And I said, we've got, anyway, it doesn't matter. Those details are blurry. I was, I was like, hey, there's an accident. We gotta go to the hospital.

Now your wife is a nurse. So she's, you know, she's not a panic. She was a little panic because they wouldn't give any information until you guys got there. Right. You're in a coma for four days, by the way. When you woke up and you just saw all of us there.

No, so when I woke up, the first person who I saw was my mom, which I'm like, That didn't make sense to you. I'm like, oh, this isn't good. Like, oh, she wasn't on vacation with us. I was like, and I remember looking down at my toes, and then falling kind of back asleep, but I was like, all right, this is not good.

I remember seeing your penis in the hospital. Oh. Ah, God, you're hairy. You're just a hairy man. I don't remember it. I was like, you know what, you should always kind of trim up just in case you go into a coma. Ever since that conversation,

I've kept myself on a number one. Ha ha. Ha ha. The ironic thing is you own a St. Bernard, don't you? I do. A mountain dog that could save your life. I've never even thought of that. You fucked everyone's vacation up with your selfishness.

I mean, I got airlifted like in a helicopter. I know, you don't remember it. I don't know, I don't remember anything. You know, it was, they put you in a coma. You didn't put yourself into it because you were being so combative. I couldn't remember anything. Well, that was the story they gave us. Did you think at that moment though?

That I was gonna raise your son? Yeah, did that ever flash through your mind? No. I mean, I certainly wasn't gonna let your brother do it. Imagine how much better your son's life would have been had I been his father. You ever think about that? He got so close. Oh, he got so close.

We partnered in on something, and then I was like, you gotta move to Malibu. And you're like, fine. And you moved to Malibu. And now you're like just, you're the president of the Little League in Malibu. You're friends with Iron Man and his whole family. Like what a different direction your life took.

Cause when I first met you, you just lived under the airport. What was that? Where was that house? Westchester. Westchester. Yeah. Those were fun nights when I'd be sleeping and you'd be coming back from the comedy club

and knock on my window at like 2 a.m. And I'd answer the door and you'd throw like dog shit off the lawn, like in a bag. Boy in a bag. Yeah, in a bag. Boy, I picked up after your dogs. Yeah, you'd like throw it at me or my wife or she was my girlfriend at the time.

She wasn't your wife. By the way, your wife that you married was, you had a crush on her in high school but she didn't like you at all, is that correct? She either had a boyfriend or I had a girlfriend so we didn't date in high school. But she wasn't interested in you? I don't know, still to be determined.

I don't know if she's interested in me now still. All right. But then you guys ended up getting together. And when I met you, you guys were a couple. And there was a, how long did you guys have that separation? Was that a year? Was that two years? How long was that?

About a year or two. Oh, we call those the good times. Yeah. I had to pick sides. Your friends break up and you have to, so I sided with her because she had more girlfriends. John and I would hang out occasionally. But then you guys got back together, then you got married,

and now you have three beautiful children. Yep. One of them's such a bitch, but they're all beautiful. But one of them, good God, she, ooh, I don't want to tip who it is. Today is, you know, today's my anniversary. What anniversary? No.

Congratulations, how many years? Eight years. Eight years. And you know what, I'm gonna tell you this, honestly. You know about the seven year itch? No. The seven year itch is like, it's where people say like,

that's about the time that you want to cheat on your significant other. The seven year itch, not as bad as the eight year itch. The eight year itch is strong. Got a scratch. What's the biggest lie you've ever told Heather? Preferably something she still doesn't know about. Do you want to answer this? Don't answer it, you psychopath.

You're probably going to get yourself into so much trouble. You ever banged one of your customers? Don't answer. True or false? I've had anal with your mother-in-law. I've known John for 20 some odd years, whatever. And for some reason, I've always just made this joke about his wife at the time.

I think at the beginning of the joke, it was just his girlfriend about, oh, I'd always hook him. It was kind of like a D's nuts joke. I'd be like, hey, John, I'd see him. I'd go, hey, John, what's going on? He'd say nothing. I'd go, oh, man, you won't believe this.

He's like, what? And I'm like, I just finished having anal with your mother-in-law. And it was just one of those things that I would do for years and years and years. The sad part is, is how many times I fell for it. I literally would fall for it all the time. And then when you would look at me and go, Bonnie?

Oh, Bonnie, Bonnie, oh, good old Bonnie. The thing is, I'm gonna say it now, I never actually had anal with her. I remember when you moved in next to me and my gardeners came over to do your yard and you like haggled with them for so long. And I was like, bro, just fucking pay them whatever. And you're like, no, no, I have to let them know that I'm not like a real Malibu person.

Like I'm a working class person that just lives out here. I'm like, God damn it fucking John. They're gonna fucking do a shitty job on my house now. Anyway, you fired them I think. Yeah, then I found somebody to work for my prices and then they didn't do anything and I ended up doing half of it myself. Then my pool guys started coming over

and cleaning your jacuzzi and you're like, one day you just said, hey, can you just teach me how to do it so I don't have to pay you? And he's like, yeah, sure, I'll teach you how to do it. That's what he did. He did, and he was like, usually I come in your backyard and play with your dog for about 10 minutes, and then I just sprinkle this out of here

and I'm out of here, it's pretty easy, dude. I was like, what? See, I like it because I like the company. I like, I like all these people that know my gate codes. I have two, I have separate gate codes for, for, for staff and then gate codes is my personal one, but I've forgotten my personal ones. If I only use the one that I know. Yeah.

Anyway, you're also the president of the Malibu Little League. That I am. Why? Apparently I like, apparently I like a lot of drama. I mean, that's just nonsense to deal with those people. It's insane. Listen, I like the kids and I like the sports, but.

Did you play baseball growing up? Nope. Which is even funnier. No, I did play baseball, but Gianni liked it. Next thing I know, I'm the president. And now I take parents' phone calls at night about everything. All right, I gotta give you some gifts.

Anybody that comes on my show, they get gifts. And I already know that you're my size. So here, these are some Italian sneakers. They got the Italian flag on them. Oh. You'll like them. They're real Italian. You'll like those.

You've been giving me shoes for years, but never with an Italian flag on them. Look at this jumpsuit. Now this jumpsuit right here has only been worn in one scene of the new TV show I shot called The Goat, and it's been dry cleaned professionally. But I think you're the only one I know that will wear something that fucking hideous.

Yeah. These are Italian. Are those slippers? No, they're shoes. Oh, those are cool. Yeah, I know, you'll wear them. You know I'll wear all this shit, this is so dumb. These are hideous, but they've never been worn.

They've never been on my feet, but you like ugly shit. Are these, these are Kyries? I don't know, is that what they are? Yeah, these are Kyries. Why do you say Kyrie like that? You don't say Kyrie? Kyrie? Kyrie.

Kyrie. Get this off my fucking table. What do you think of that stupid globe in Vegas? Does that blow your mind? It's like, that's like the pinnacle. Is that your heaven? Oh dude, it's everything. That's $5 billion worth of technology.

Like the most transcending experience you can have for like- Did you go there? I haven't gone yet. Oh, what the fuck's wrong with you? That's your thing. Well, cause you too has been playing there. I'm not a huge fan. I was like, I wanted to see who was going to play next.

Oh, who would you like to see there? Bruce Springsteen? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Who would you want to see there? I don't know. What's your music? I don't even know what kind of music you like. I don't know what music is either. You listen to hip hop, don't you? I listen to hip hop. I listen to hip hop. You listen to sports. Let's talk about your sports, because you're a bullshit sports person.

No, I'm an LA guy. I'm from LA, a true LA fan. Yet you used to say you were a diehard 49ers fan. When we had no team. No, you had a team. You had the Raiders and you had the Rams in your lifetime. I never knew you when the Raiders and Rams were here. I don't care if you knew me.

Yes. You liked the 49ers because you were a front-running kid. Because I liked Joe Montana and Jerry Rice. Oh, right. We all did. But you don't call them your team. So you call them your team and then once LA Rams started getting good, you're like, I'm a Rams fan. And now that the Chargers are kind of hot, you're like... I'm not a Chargers. I'm a Rams fan, a Dodger fan, and a Laker fan. You're a Diyard Lakers fan.

You know that. Uh-huh. We've had many Kobe arguments over the years. Sure. Who's the greatest Laker of all time? Kobe Bryant. No, it's LeBron James. How is LeBron James not the greatest Laker?

I mean, I'm not saying that this particular moment of his career, but is LeBron James not universally considered a better basketball player overall than Kobe Bryant? Yes. Okay, and they were both Lakers, so therefore that means. What did LeBron do for the franchise?

What did Kobe do? Kobe won five championships for the Lakers. He won a Lakers championship, that bullshit bubble thing? Yeah, whatever, we'll take it. He keeps us even with Boston. Did you give him a parade for that dumb bubble year? We weren't allowed to leave our houses. And you think Kobe's better than Magic?

And Kareem. Growing up, like, I've watched Magic. Loved Magic. But like, the journey Kobe took us on? Oh, the journey. Kobe, when fucking Kobe died, like, I've never, I've never cried that much over a grown man I never met in my life. And I wouldn't have felt the same way against magic.

You know where I was when Kobe Bryant died? It was the craziest thing. I was surfing in Fiji. I was in the middle of the ocean. A boat had taken me and Pete was with me. He was on the boat getting seasick, puking like a fucking idiot. And I'm surfing in Miliote.

We get back to the boat and that's how big of a news. These guys that didn't speak English, you know, Bula, Kobe Bryant, they just heard of the radio. Kobe Bryant died and I'm like, oh, he's played basketball. They didn't even know who he was. But it was, it just spread. But it came to our boat. That's crazy.

In the middle of the ocean in Fiji. I actually, that morning, Gianni got invited to a birthday party. I drove over the hill. So I drove through that fog over Canaan. You're a liar and have revisionist history. It probably was like three days later and you're just retelling the story. I remember the fog. No, I remember it because I'm there. Heather Tex calls me and she's crying. She's like, Kobe died, and I'm like, what are you talking about, Kobe?

She's like, in a helicopter crash. Then I looked it up, and it was like three miles from where I was, we were in Calabasas. I fucking drove over there. That's how I effed up my mind. I drove over there, was sitting there with all this traffic with a bunch of people looking like zombies, like what are we doing?

What were you gonna do? I don't know, I just had my son with me, and I'm like, let's go. You brought your son to this? Help Kobe? I don't know, I was in such shock, man. That's fucking the worst parenting I've fucking ever heard in my life. Hey, there's dead people over here. Let's go check it out. Do you recommend living next door to a comedian prone to tomfoolery?

Only if you want to be fucked with your entire life, right? How many times have you like hid in my garage? And like I just like walk in the middle of the day to like, it wasn't like, oh, I'm going to work. You'd like be in there and be like, and make me shit my pants almost or something or like. I do enjoy scaring people. It's always been my thing.

A good healthy scare you'd always get me on. There was a time where like, I was like walking out of my house and you scared me. Like I think I dropped my brand new iPhone on the ground. Like, I was like. I can't. The funny thing though is, think about how you were

with my kids when they were younger, before you had kids. You would come over and Gianni would be like. Well, you're just not next to me anymore. That would still be going on, but right now you won't finish your goddamn construction. Yeah, you'd walk in and be like, oh, would you eat dessert? I'm gonna eat the rest of your brownie. And they'd be like,

ah. We had to explain to the kids that you were like a character. Oh, it's like the cat in the hat's coming over. It's Daniel, our neighbor. He's like, I'm no good. One time I, well, yes. So once you guys started calling me,

the kids started calling me cat in the hat. I came over to your house one time and I had put a piece of cake on my head and I had a hat over it. And then I just sat down and I took my hat off and then I just started eating cake. And they thought it was the greatest thing they'd ever seen in their lives.

They're like, this guy is amazing. He's got cake on his head. That's mostly just cause you love dessert. I have a sweet tooth. My family knows it, like what, Heather, they made some chocolate cake. The other night, I don't know, it was late at night, I get a text from your wife, just beautiful tit shot.

No. She doesn't send those to me anymore. No, she doesn't send them to me. She says, hey, have you had dessert yet? And I'm like, oh, this is the best text in the world. And I'm like, yes, but that doesn't mean anything. And she's like, okay, I'm coming over. So she comes over and she had made a new pudding

chocolate cake. And rarely, rarely do I like other people's, you know, idea of what they think is a good dessert. But that was heaven. She knew it was just enough undercooked that you would be all about it. I was good. The problem was, and I'm gonna now to complain,

she brought a carton of ice cream with it. And then my wife goes, oh, we'll just take just like, we don't need your whole carton. My wife just like scooped like one small bowl full of ice cream. And I'm like, what the fuck are we? Now, the next two days, I still had this whole cake and I had no ice cream.

But that wasn't, not only was that not your second dessert of the day, didn't you have dessert at lunch? Well, I have dessert after each meal. Do you think that's why you shit your pants so much? Right. Yeah. Like, I remember when I was moving to Malibu

and you were like, all right, so like, here's the things you need to know. Like this is where you go eat. And then you were like, and when you're on PCH, if you gotta go to the bathroom, all the port-a-potties are on the ocean side. Right, they're on the ocean side. Every, every, about almost every half mile

you can get a port. Man, that one near winding trail, which is on the other side happened to be, thank God it was opened at this hour one night, because I barely got inside of there before all hell broke loose. And I was sitting there like, why are you telling me all the bad things?

Just in case you get shit? I'm like, most of us don't shit our pants. I'm like, you and like my father-in-law, the only two people I know who broke his pants. Oh, your father-in-law shit his pants at your, well, not a wedding, it was at Ind Cabo. Ind Cabo at Thanksgiving. At Thanksgiving. At Thanksgiving he sh shit his pants at your, well not a wedding, it was at End Cabo. End Cabo at Thanksgiving. At Thanksgiving.

At Thanksgiving he shits his pants at the restaurant. Oh, it's the best, it was the best Thanksgiving ever. Oh, speaking of alt-right, I have to bring this up because I get a lot of grief on my show because people always, because I'm such a disgusting Democrat, but people need to know that I hang out with all walks of life.

Now you, I consider you all right, not just because of your haircut, but because you stormed the castle January 6th, did you not? Yes or no? No? No. Okay.

There was a time that you liked DeSantis, which I thought almost made me want to stab you in the throat. But I didn't. I turned a blind eye. Look at this. Two people from, he's from California. I'm from Florida. And boy, politically, politically, you and I do not see eye to eye. And we flip-flopped. I call everyone alt-right now if they don't believe in everything I believe in. You drive a Tesla, which is an Alt-Right vehicle now, and you have Florida plates. Fucked you up, Florida plates. It's a company car. We're Florida-based, the company. So we have offices for our clients all across the United States. So they just, was that car ever in Florida? Yeah, that car came from Florida.

You drove a Tesla across the country? They shipped it out. They shipped it for you. All right. I was like, why does my neighbor have a Tesla with Florida plates on it? I couldn't, I never understood that. What is LeBron James's address?

No comment. Do you have more athletes or entertainment, like film, television stars? Athletes more your bread and butter? Here in LA, mostly entertainment. Mostly entertainment. Mostly entertainment with some athletes, but then sprinkled across the country,

more athletes than entertainment. Any politicians? No. Did work for, who's the vice president? Who's the vice president? Who's the vice president? Kamala? Yeah, I didn't work for her, but her neighbor's house next door.

So anytime she's in town, like there's a whole like barricade you have to get through when you go to that, up that street in Brentwood. I'll say where she lives. She lives in Brentwood. What Jesus, see fucking alt-right. This is the alt-right shit. This is the alt-right shit I have to deal with.

I'm gonna put your father on blast for his stolen valor. Well, John, I'm sure Heather will be very upset with me when this airs, but thank you for being on the show. Thank you. All right, buddy. All right. I'm Gary Veeder, and I have a new limited series podcast called Number One Dad. It may have been the greatest scam for a sports fan.

In the 90s, my dad and I ran a con for years where we snuck into the world's most prestigious arena, New York's Madison Square Garden. And I interviewed some of the biggest athletes in the world, even Michael Jordan. But this wasn't the only scheme my dad was pulling. He's posing as my attorney. Everything my dad did was a scam.

There were moments where Manny would assume the role of undercover police officer. My father's never-ending string of lies ultimately broke apart my family, and at 15 years old, I completely cut him out of my life. That was 24 years ago. I have no idea where he lives or what he's up to but my goal is to track him down and get to the truth about who my father, Manny Veeder, really is. Brooklyn Federal Court House. My father was involved in a case from the early 90s and I'm just trying to get information. You better hope that your dad doesn't find out about this

before you're ready to talk to him. Phone ringing I'm sorry. You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Listen to Number One Dad on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. ... Happy Pride. It's time for a brand new podcast. Kiss. with Stephen and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided, because we are grown,

consenting adults, that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the our heart radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts

Hey guys, I'm home Everyone knows that it's dad's job to be a bit of a joker Sorry, I'm late everyone. It was an accident at the factory Monte fell into the upholstery machine Don't worry though. he's fully recovered. Good one, Dad. Did you get the pizza for dinner? So he likes to keep everyone happy with some Dad jokes.

Yep, right here. I had a coupon, and it saved me a lot of... dough. Well the truth is, Dad is just a fun guy. Hey, I'm not a mushroom. Please stop. Where does he get these stupid jokes from? He listens to the Daily Dad Jokes podcast. Oh great, more Dad jokes for me. We've delivered over 15,000 jokes to over 3 million listeners and man, the conversations we have late at night.

They often spin off in strange and wonderful directions. So we asked, what if those laid back conversations were with some of the biggest musicians in the world and some of the most interesting new artists we love right now. Midnight Chats has already welcomed Tame Impala, Charlie XCX, Mark Ronson, Vince Staples and many others. Our biggest and best series is happening right now. So join me, Greg Cochran. And me, Stuart Stubbs. As we talk to our favourite musicians about the things they don't usually talk about.

I'm feeling more okay with being a diva. There was one birthday when I went to a graveyard. Every partner that I've ever had, when they look at my texts with my mother, are like, how are you sharing this information? Listen to the new series of midnight chats every Tuesday night on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.

Hey everyone, I'm Mark. I'm Greg. I'm Brendan. And this is a trailer for a new podcast called Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey. It's about screenwriting. And a journey. The three of us play aspiring screenwriters on a quest to get a hit Hollywood script to famous producer Dutch Huxley. Well, I would say one of us is aspiring and the other two are sort of struggling. Which one of us is aspiring? Well, they're going to have to listen to the podcast. Hmm, but I don't know and I made the podcast. Well, I made the podcast and I think you guys were along for the ride.

Each week we bring in a script, we read it, and then we give each other notes. And you'll also hear about our adventures navigating the Hollywood system. The show features amazing guests like Tim Robinson, Lily Sullivan, Weird Al Yankovic, and Rob Hubel. And like any great blockbuster, it's filled with heartbreak, adventure, suspense, and just a little tasteful nudity. And some distasteful nudity.

Sorry about that, guys. Listen to Get It to Dutch, a screenwriter's journey on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Tasha! I want to thank John for being on the podcast. If I had a nickel for every time something went wrong with my AV system and he quickly got there to fix it.

I would have a nickel. Check this out. I got an email randomly from someone that worked at North Star, the ski resort where John had his accident. They randomly wrote to us. They said, Hey, this is Russ. I'm enjoying the podcast. Interesting and funny as hell.

Don't change a thing. Okay, we won't. I do have an amusing Tosh story. About 12, 13 years ago, Tosh was in Tahoe for a show. I was living there, but whatever. I did have a show. Had a group of friends riding at North Star. One of them completely wrecked himself. I was one of the ski patrol supervisors working there. He ended up, we ended up flying his buddy off the hill in a medevac helicopter. Oh man.

Later that day in the next, our ski patrol dispatcher asked me to talk to someone on the phone wanting to know the details of the crash. Anyway, the person said they were Tosh's agent or manager or something. Wanted to know what happened, indicated that Daniel wants to know so that he could make fun of his friend. That doesn't sound right at all, but maybe.

It caused me great displeasure to tell them I could not do to HIPAA laws and North Star's policy. He was sure that I was going to use the details to make fun of him in one of my South Lake shows. Anyway, he said, whoever it was, they were relentless. Called like three times. That is truly relentless. And he goes, anyways, hope the friend recovered fully.

Eh, that's nice. I mean, I guess he did. I mean, who knows? I don't know if his, I don't, I probably didn't know him well enough to know that if his personality was slightly altered. You like that? Oh, what's that?

This is my new pen. This is from the Boulevard Penthouses at, where is it? Where do we work? The Cosmopolitan. I stole one of your pens already, Cosmo. Come check me out in Vegas. And maybe I'll give you my pen.

I don't know. I don't know. I got another show's coming up. You know we're gonna be in New Orleans? Carl, do you know about that? You love New Orleans, don't know. I got another shows coming up. You know we're going to be in New Orleans. Carl, do you know about that? You love New Orleans, don't you? You just love the rich culture. What else do we have?

Oh, we're going to be in Hawaii, in Maui, in Honolulu. That'll be fun. Come spend your Thanksgiving with us. I won't be bringing Carl because I'm pretty sure Hawaii still has too many loopholes to jump through to bring the dogs. So I just leave them at home. They're happier anyway. Mahalo for your patience.

What else? Boyswearpink.com and The Goat. Wrapping that season up. Can't wait to have exciting news about the GOAT 2. I don't know. I don't know if there's you got excited too. I have no idea if they're picking the show up. Anyway, we got a bedtime story. Let me tell you this too. My son this week just on a tangent just constantly and then he knows he has to go to sleep when the story is done. So he's like a bad improv troupe. Yes, Andy and me to death. But it's just and

then and then you think it's over right Carl? He need to be groomed. What's going on in your world Carl? You want to tell people about that dead rat you ate? I was like, where? I was like, oh, I got to go pick up this dead rat. Oh, that's gone. Yeah. See you next week. Once upon a time in a so, so, way, the woods was these little mouse chicas.

And then, and then, and then, every day the baby mouse would go out and eat them. And then, and then, and then, every day the baby mouse would go out and eat them. And then, and then, and then, every day the baby mouse would go out and eat them. And then, and then, and then, every day the baby mouse would go out and eat them. And then, and then, and then, and then, every day the baby mouse would go out and eat them. And then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and

and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then, and then was these little mouth-chickas. And then every day the baby would go out, a big, big, big bear would twist up to him. And, yep, I told you it was similar. And every day he would say, Do you want to race?

And then they raced. And then the baby won. What was the baby's name? What was the baby? And then the baby won. And then everybody cheered for them. They went back home. They had to dance in the, and then in the morning,

and then the bear said, it's been a long time. Do you want to race? And then they raced, and then the bear tripped and fell, and then the baby won, and then there was so much out and then someone had knocked it on the door and they opened the door up and it was a big, big, bad wolf and then he licked and jizzied and then he told this and this and then he told us about this is a book about a fundamental and he said we got and he said to eat people and then but what are people who are fools and they so much and he's a boy and they got a little boy, they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got

a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and they got a little boy, and And then the pizza with the bagalacas. And they all fly and laugh. And laugh. And then the rose ate him, everyone. And then they still laughed when he was in his tummy. And then the gingerbread man ate him.

And then a candy man ate him. And then the gingerbread man. And then a candyman came and ate the gingerbread man. And then a bounty came and ate the candyman. And then a lock-up come and ate the bunny. And then a parkway. What? I just want to go to bed. But this one story needs to be long. This story is so long.

It's the longest story I've ever heard. It'd be short sometimes, but I want it to be long. Yeah, that story's so long. And then it says seven, eight, nine. The end. Okay. I'm Gary Veeder, and I have a new limited series podcast, Number One Dad.

Over this 10 part series, I'll go searching for the truth about my father, a con man, who I haven't spoken to in 24 years. He wants me to act like my injury is even worse for a payout. He's posing as my attorney in a court. There were moments where Manny would assume the role of undercover police officer. Listen to Number One Dad on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Happy Pride!

It's time for a brand new podcast. Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We've decided because we are grown consenting adults that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover memoirs, poetry,

children's books, or cookbooks. And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree. Put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex positive and deeply entertaining podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts, Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson Rosso, as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals.

You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart Radio app or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. If someone asked you to name a queer icon, who would you say? Brittany, Christina, Shirley Bassey, Tina, Madonna, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey. Bruce Springsteen. This is Because the Boss Belongs to Us, a serious journalistic quest to get Bruce Springsteen recognized as the queer icon we

know that he is. Listen to Because the Boss Belongs to Us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From iHeart Podcasts comes Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? 911, what's your emergency? Master Wandy is dead! Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Frankie Grande, Cheyenne Jackson, Robin de Jesus, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferry.

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah