Tosh Show - My Batsh*t Crazy Friend Who “Sees” Time - Sam Jarvis
Episode Date: July 29, 2025Daniel talks with his special friend Sam Jarvis about how she spatially visualizes time, a condition known as time-space synesthesia.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....
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Ding dong, Las Culturistas calling from YouTube. All of us have mouth agape right now.
Yeah, mine is.
Because I feel like I'm being,
you have to understand, I've known her for so long.
And then to hear this stuff come out like,
oh, this whole time, you're just crazy.
Yeah.
Tosh Show.
Tosh Show.
Tosh Show. Hey, welcome to Tosh Show. I'm your host, Daniel Tosh.
Today's episode is a little different.
You'll notice that there's someone sitting next to me right now.
I'll introduce her in a second.
Okay.
Eddie?
Yes.
You're here.
Good.
Thank you for coming on such short notice.
This is not an emergency pod.
Okay.
What we're doing today does not classify as an emergency.
This is Sam.
Okay.
You can talk Sam.
Jesus. She's got a gift.
Sam has a gift.
Yeah.
Sam used to write on Tosh.0 back in the day.
She, you know, now she writes all kinds of,
you know, films, a lot of, whatever.
I don't know what she does.
But it's, you know, she is married to Pete.
She's been in our lives for, I don't know,
she's been on tour with me.
She's performed on tour with me.
Right.
I mean, just, we've got a lot of history.
The goat.
She was on the goat, even though she doesn't get a credit
on the goat, because she was the only one smart enough
to say, I will do this gig and get paid handsomely,
but do not give me a credit on this show.
First, I think it's because it was during a strike
and you probably weren't supposed to be working.
It was not during a strike.
To be clear, it was not during the strike. I'm not sure. But no, I thought you could just... I working. It was not during a strike. To be clear, it was not during the strike. So maybe she was on the road. I'm not sure.
No, I thought I could just... I feel like it was definitely during a strike. Leave my name off that
one. That's fine. Well, look who regrets that now. Goat merchandise? Yeah. I shouldn't have bought
so much. I got stock files of goat gear. Anyway, the point is I've known Sam for a long time.
Now you ever know somebody for a long time,
then you find something out about them,
like we just found out Pete's Jewish.
Blue our minds.
That's crazy. Really?
All of us freaked out.
Oh sure.
I'll tell you an example.
That's not an example.
We've always known Pete was Jewish.
The only person that doesn't know Pete's Jewish is Pete.
Pete's the one that's just so, why is he ashamed of it?
That's a longer episode.
All right.
By the way, Sam is going to be a guest on this show.
This is not her episode.
This does not count.
This does.
This is nothing to do with that.
This is just, she told us something.
We all had so many questions.
I stopped listening because I was like,
oh no, no, we have to do this on air.
This is bonkers.
The only thing I can relate it to is one time
I dated a girl for a year and a half,
and then I found out she could play the violin.
Oh, that's weird.
And I was like, are you, what?
She never told, it was bonkers.
I couldn't believe it.
Interesting. Are you a spy? That's what we said, right Ed? Yeah. Well, she also bonkers. I couldn't believe it.
Are you a spy?
That's what we said, right Ed?
Well, she also could speak a language that was like-
She could speak Czech.
And you also didn't know that?
Didn't know that either.
Okay, you should ask more questions to your ladies.
If you can play a violin and you're having sex
with somebody, you're gonna let them know eventually.
That's on you.
Sure, sure, yeah.
She didn't have a violin.
It's not like I listen to violin music.
Right.
And bring.
You guys know I know how to play the violin, right?
No, you don't.
Yes, I do.
Do you really?
Yes.
You speak Czech?
You speak Czech?
I don't speak Czech.
All right.
That would've come up.
That definitely would've come up.
Okay, here we go.
Sam sees time differently
than I thought every human on the planet. Okay, here we go. Sam sees time differently
than I thought every human on the planet.
I don't know how else more to set it up,
but like if I say, oh, today is Saturday,
I don't even get an example that then next is Sunday.
Right. Yeah.
But Sam sees it in a way that makes no sense.
All right, go ahead, give me some ideas.
Okay, apparently I have something called
time-space synesthesia.
Synesthesia, this is a real thing
that she looked up after the fact.
Right, so I only found this out
within the last five years, which is pretty embarrassing.
But I was with my husband Pete,
and at some point I just said to him, like,
isn't it so interesting how in school,
they never talk to you about, like, we never learn about,
like, how everybody sees, like, the months
or the days of the week.
I'm like, yeah, because people maybe see them differently.
And Pete was like, what?
And then...
I'm getting mad already.
And then I was like, well, you know, like.
He was already married.
Yeah, we were married already, so he could not back out.
But yeah, so he's like, what?
And then I'm like, well, OK.
You know, for me, like, the month's September's at the top
and March is at the bottom.
And then like, days of the week are kind of shaped
like a capital D. And I was like, is that how you see the days of the week are kind of shaped like a capital D.
And I was like, is that how you see the days of the week
or do you see them differently?
I am so again lost.
What's at the top on months?
Okay, so when you visualize time,
which is a thing that time, space, synesthesia does,
is that I see like, if you take the year as a calendar I
You don't look at a calendar like the first one's January and then the next one is February
No, I think when I think about the year or where we are what month we are. I picture that as a circle
Okay, so say it's like a clock
September's at the top December. Why wouldn't January be at the top? I don't know.
I think it has something to do with maybe this starting
when I was like a kid or in school or something.
Does everyone that has this form of
hard Asian.
See it the same?
Yes.
No, I don't think so.
Cause I looked up something once on Reddit,
someone was saying that they see the days of the week
and it goes counterclockwise,
and that is like some real freak shit.
That's crazy to me.
So anyway, go back to the clock.
Don't panic.
Are you eligible for a real ID?
I'm just curious.
I have a real ID.
Oh, there you go.
Easy to get everybody.
Of course you do.
You're married to life hack Pete.
Yeah.
Okay, so this is the calendar.
Hey, I had a new jingle that we also play a game
with Sam all the time where we do jingles
and then she has to guess what it was.
Uh-huh.
Save big money.
At Menards, I know that one.
That's so good.
That's the first one I've gotten in a long time.
All right, what's the circle?
This is gonna be the year.
This is the year. September's at the top,. All right, what's the circle? This is gonna be the year. This is the year.
September's at the top, like a clock, it's a circle.
Okay.
So then you have December is like where 3 p.m. would be.
Wait, wait, they don't go in order?
No, it's like September, October, November.
I'm just trying to give you the-
Okay, gotcha, oh, you jumped ahead.
I'm trying to give you the-
I get it, I get it, okay.
December's at like three,
March would be at like six,
and July would be at like 9 p.m.
That's how I see the calendar.
So right now, if we're in the summer,
we're in July, we're like over here to the left,
like where 9 p.m. is.
So think about like birthdays,
your birthday, my birthday, or like end of May.
Do you see clocks the way clocks are already shaped?
Yeah, I see clocks the same.
But like your and my birthday is down here,
like around 8 p.m.
And then, and like same with Pete's and Eddie's down here.
John, when's your birthday?
November.
November, his is over here.
All right, I get it, fine.
I can understand the circle from September around.
And so, yeah, as you move around,
so then days of the week, that's shaped like a capital D.
Is that just because of the word days?
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah.
What do you mean you don't know?
I don't know why.
I thought everyone saw months and days and they don't.
All right, days of the week, what's at the top of the D?
Okay, Mondays at the top, then it goes Tuesday.
Wednesday is kind of the fat part of the D,
then Thursday, then Friday is the bottom,
and then Saturday, Sunday is the straight line part.
Okay, so you end on Sunday, so you are a Christian.
You believe the seventh day is Holy rest.
So it's like, this is Monday.
How many times have you had to explain this to people now?
I mean, I don't like say it a lot.
I can't hide how dumb I think this is.
There we are.
I mean, I have a meeting on Monday
and then I have my dermatologist on Wednesday.
Oh, sure.
Okay, great.
I've got stuff this week.
What does that have to do with making it shaped in a D?
What about calendars?
Do calendars frustrate you, the way they have them laid out?
I think I just don't really pay attention to that.
Carly loves a calendar.
We have calendars in our pantry
and it's just everything is filled out.
Do you never use an actual traditional calendar?
I have one on my phone that I use.
Do you use it?
You put appointment times in there?
Yes, yeah, uh-huh.
Yeah, so why don't you just wait for that thing to beep
instead of like doing your rain man stuff.
Well, I do.
I still have like alerts on my phone and stuff,
but I also just like when I set something,
it just also gets like set in my little, my calendar noodle.
What's up guys?
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When you saw that, what was the first movie that did the whole like formula started floating? What was it?
A Beautiful Mind.
Beautiful Mind.
Did you go, did you feel seen?
No, because I'm not good at like numbers or math or anything.
But are you seeing weird things in the air like that?
I mean, no, not really.
Cause I'm not seeing anything when I think of days.
No.
I just learn them.
Sunday, Monday, happy days.
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.
I don't want to get too in the weeds.
It's a little like angled.
Why does the angle mean something?
I have no idea.
I don't know.
Like same thing with the months.
Like I always kind of see it from the perspective
of like where January, February is.
I'm looking at it like.
If I say 2025, does that mean something?
Yeah, that's this year.
What does, what does this year mean?
That's just, I'm.
Her clock.
I just picture the, see, I start in January.
That's 2025.
But if I think about like COVID, March of 2020,
I'm like, okay, you guys went to Australia
in January of 2020 and then like March happened
and then this was COVID in 2020 over here.
Right, okay.
You know? Right.
I'm kind of fine.
But I'm saying, but actual numbers of years,
do you think, do they mean something different?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Mm.
Unfortunately, yes.
So years, stop.
Years are like a straight line.
So 1900.
That's when it starts?
Starts to the left and it goes to the right.
For some reason, I think because I'm born
at the end of the 1900s, it doesn't start over for 2000.
It's just a continuous line to now, 2025.
But yeah, like 2020. It'll never start over? I don't know, a continuous line to now, 2025. But yeah, like 2020.
It'll never start over?
I don't know, I don't think so.
So 2025 is like here, if I think of like.
Well, I think of a line, a timeline, that makes sense.
Like 9-elevens here.
Is it to scale?
The scale kind of changes.
So like the centuries before, like 1800s and seven,
they're in like, they're almost like corn field liness and 7th, they're in, like, they're almost like cornfield lines
behind it.
Oh, they're their own lines.
Yeah.
So then, unfortunately, like...
What do you have?
Do you have history that you know from different?
No. OK, that's the sad thing,
is that you would think that I would be like some savant
with all these things, and I'm not.
I don't have any visual of numbers.
Like, weather.
Like, if it's 30 degrees in Chicago. It's like over here
And if it's like
Chicago if you don't like the weather in Chicago, just wait a few minutes
I don't know like I think it's all numbers that I sort of see like if I say minus four
Well, I mean like I'm not the math doesn't matter but like math doesn't if it, like, I'm not, the math doesn't matter, but like- Math doesn't, it doesn't affect math.
No, I'm not good at math.
I'm not good with numbers.
But like zero to a hundred.
Okay.
Do you see that in front of you?
No, I just know what-
You just know what the numbers are.
They're all numbers, yep.
If you got a 90 on a test,
like that would be more over to the right.
Here's my thing that I don't get,
is that I don't get how you know when things are.
Like I have assistance.
Right.
Right.
You specifically someone tells you.
That's how I see things.
Right.
Somebody taps me on the shoulder.
It's like go here.
You have to go do this.
But like if I have a dermatologist appointment next Wednesday, like how do you know
how soon something is happening?
Because I know today is Saturday
and I know that there's four more days until Wednesday.
If there's like something coming up in September,
you just, you don't see yourself like getting closer to it.
No, I don't.
I guess I just know that I have to live for three more months.
Okay.
I like, I know it sounds weird that you can't picture how I picture things, but like I don't
get how any of you guys function without this.
All of us have mouth agape right now.
Yeah, mine is open.
Because I feel like I'm being, you feel like when you talk to somebody, you have to understand
I've known her for so long,
and then to hear this stuff come out like,
oh, this whole time, you're just crazy.
I feel like you're just like untethered
if you have no concept for any of this.
Like something that's happening a month from now,
or that happened like five months ago, that's just like.
I know what five months is.
What do you mean?
What do you mean, what do I mean?
But like relative to you now, you just know what it is?
Yeah, it's a halfway rotation around the sun.
Is that helpful?
No, it's not.
So do you associate it with like seasons?
I mean, I know the seasons.
Do seasons have a place?
I mean, yeah, summer's over here with the months.
But it's always in order, no matter where you see it.
It's never like randomly different spots. No, no. It's always in order, no matter where you see it. It's never like randomly different spots.
No, no.
It's always in the same place and you just, you know.
Yeah, I don't even know what your concern is.
Like you can't understand that I just have an idea
of how long something is.
Yeah.
Where's $2 million?
Okay, that's like over here.
Oh no. So P just says, P just said, where's $2 million? Okay, that's like over here. Oh no.
So P just says, P just said, where's $2 million?
And $2 million has a place.
Like it's in like a scale of, yeah,
if you're talking about millions one to 10,
like it's over here.
It's not the same as days of the week or anything.
Two million is just over here.
And where's 8 million?
Well, then I guess the scale would shrink and it would just, it would still be over here, but a little bit further. Eight's just over here. Right. And where's eight million? Well then I guess the scale would shrink
and it would just, it would still be over here
but a little bit further.
Eight's past two, right?
Right.
Okay.
If you're thinking about from zero to a hundred million,
two million would be over here.
Mm-hmm.
But if you're thinking about like zero to five million,
it's probably over here.
July 8th from right now.
Right.
Is a week and a half away.
Right.
Okay.
Oh, you just need to actually see.
Well, within like two weeks I can go around twice.
That actually makes sense though.
The week was a circle by the way,
and then it went around.
Well, it's a D, but you know.
Oh, it's a D.
It's a D.
Oh, God.
God, I don't even know which way a D goes
when I'm doing it in the air.
Well, I go clockwise.
Look down, then I go up to the bottom.
So that helps me, but like yeah, if there's a random date.
Helps you, it's not hard though.
Who needs help?
If you have something on July 17,
you're just like, that's floating in the abyss for you.
You're like, that's next month's problem, like whatever.
No, it's three weeks away.
But it's nice to see that it gets closer.
Yeah, it's still getting closer to me.
Okay. No, I get it, you get a visual that it gets closer. Yeah, it's still getting closer to me.
No, I get it.
You get a visual for it.
When you watch a movie and I say it's two hours,
are you like putting this on a time?
Yeah, I would say, I mean, in a day,
like the hours in the day, vaguely also are in a line.
So if I have something, a dinner,
that's like at the top of the line.
But if I say this movie is 90 minutes,
do you go, oh, or do you just go,
oh yeah, I know how long that is,
that's a short hour and a half comedy?
Both.
I know how long it is.
And also.
Because I just feel like as adults,
we just like, you've memorized,
you're so conditioned to know,
oh, 30 days, I got it, a month.
I guess. Just...
What about your period?
Does that fall on anything?
No.
That's just...
Shape of a pretzel.
That's just every 28 days.
That's a big capital P.
Yeah, yeah.
And right there we dot it.
Some individuals with time-space synesthesia also have autism or have
experienced head injuries. Which of these two categories do you fit into?
Boy, without a diagnosis. I mean that is true. That was looked up. Okay, I guess head
injury I think. You don't want to admit that you've got a touch of the ism? I don't.
I guess it's a spectrum, so I could have a light dusting.
Oh.
A light dusting.
How do you see the spectrum?
I believe you are right here on the spectrum.
If the spectrum's leaning this way, you're right here.
It starts here.
I'm trying to figure out how I see time now.
How do you see?
That's the whole thing. I can trying to figure out how I see time now. How do you, you don't.
That's the whole thing.
We can't, I can't even answer your questions
because it doesn't make any sense to me at all.
I don't know.
The numbers thing is weird because even like zero to,
like age too, it's like you're 50,
which is like right here.
Allegedly.
Allegedly.
I met you when I was 24, which is over here.
You know, you don't picture.
But you don't see past 50 for him.
Right, I don't see, I'm not seeing it.
Until you're like 51, then it moves up
and 50 goes to the left.
No, I feel like numbers that are like sequential,
you don't think of them in a row.
Yes, if I were to count.
Okay, so you don't.
I know what my next birthday will be. It will be 51.
But if someone's 85, that is just.
Then the year before they were 84.
35 past 50.
Yeah, cause see for me they're like 85s right here.
Nighttime, daytime, anything?
I mean like the day is,
the hours of the day are in front of me
and then night is past that.
Do you prefer 24 or 12 and 12, like AM and PM?
Oh, I don't do military time.
No. No.
No.
But you know who does military time?
All assholes.
Oh.
I'm just kidding.
So you just see daytime, nighttime.
Yeah, like nighttime is...
It's there?
It's there.
It is, yeah.
I don't know, I mean, is it that weird?
It's just so, I've never even thought about how I see these things.
It's unique.
It's unique.
It does seem to be a bit on the spectrum.
Okay.
And that's okay. Sure.
Sam's on the spectrum, guys.
You heard it here first.
Nothing wrong with that. You heard it here first.
Nothing wrong with that. If anybody has any questions.
I have a question.
So Dylan woke up drunk.
Now he's a boy.
No, so like you said with years, you see them in rows.
So different centuries or different rows.
Yes.
But if you see different numbers,
you just change the scale.
So are years the only thing that you see in rows?
Centuries.
Yes. Years are the only thing. you see in Rose? Centuries. Does that make sense?
Yes. Years are the only thing.
It's 100 years you see as...
Yes.
Except for the 100 years of her life because that just added on and continues.
After Y2K.
Were you worried about Y2K?
You know what? I was. And you know why? You know why? Because I was not very old.
It's over here and it's at the edge.
Right. Well, I was going to say to Dylan's over here. Right. It's over here and it's at the edge.
Well, I was gonna say to Dylan's point,
like when you think of the dinosaurs,
like millions or billions,
how does your brain-
She doesn't believe in dinosaurs,
she believes in Jesus Christ.
Oh, right, right.
She believes in Jesus.
Oh, right, so it's only 2000, it's only-
No, that stuff is way too far away.
That doesn't matter.
I understand, but do you see it like in your rows
when you think of like dinosaurs?
The rose die out after like 1500.
Now normally if this were your episode, you'd get a gift,
but for this you certainly do not get a gift.
Okay.
Okay, because this is not gift worthy.
Although we did get a bunch of free stuff
for plugging a bacon festival.
Okay.
So if you want some bacon hats and tees,
I can throw them your way.
You interested?
Yeah, probably.
Give her the full pork repeat.
Give me some bacon gear here.
I'll see what she wants to do.
There's some nice stuff in there.
Wow.
Here, there's a bacon hip sack.
You can put treats in there for Frank.
You actually wear a hat that has a cacio e peche.
I do, I have a hat with pasta on it.
Look at this.
Do you want this one?
I don't need that one probably.
It says bacon.
Bacon buddy.
No, this fanny pack's cool though.
You'll like this, this is a good one.
Oh no.
The bacon boat.
Yeah, I think it was a.
Okay, thanks.
Oh, okay.
Thanks guys.
Wait, wait, you like trucker hats, you always. Yeah. I. Oh, okay. Thanks guys. Wait, wait, do you like trucker hats?
Yours is. Yeah.
I, it's a good one.
No? No.
This one says blue ribbon bacon tour.
That's nice, you got a little pig on it.
That's such a weird gift for me today.
All that's. Look at this.
Ticket, was this from the actual thing?
It must be.
Oh, that's hysterical. That's funny. T ticket item. I just can't wait till to read what people in the comments, right?
Because there will be some people that will be like, oh, thank you. Right this I can relate to this and then everyone else
That's normal. Uh-huh. It's just gonna hammer you
I know now we understand Sam a little bit better and hopefully hopefully in the future, when she's on the show,
over here,
yeah.
Yeah. March.
This will have some more follow-up questions.
Yeah.
Can't wait to hear from you guys.
Okay, question.
How do you see time?
You don't see time, you just learn it.
Okay, but if I were to ask you where Wednesday is, where would you say it is?
You'd have to look at a calendar to say where it is.
Okay. That's so good. I was so worried that you were, you know, special.
I'm just glad you're regular.
glad you're regular.
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