Tosh Show - My Commercial Airline Pilot - Joe

Episode Date: June 9, 2026

Daniel flies high with First Officer Joe, who answers all Daniel's questions about growing up in Boston, working for a major airline, and how airplanes work.  Join our Patreon for exclusive content: ...http://patreon.com/toshshow

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 How many pilots have second families? None that I know. Is there something you would like to say to your second family right now? No. Tosh. Tosh. Tosh show for show. Mehwe. Mehwee. Mehwee.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Mehue for the show. Tosh show time. Welcome. Welcome to the show. I'm Dan. That's Ed. What up? Together.
Starting point is 00:00:35 We're Ed and Dan. Do I look fresh? You do, ma'er. You look real fresh. Here's why, Ed. I had a week, seven days of no hot water. My water heater went out. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:50 And so I went downstairs to where my water heater was, and I unplugged it. And then I plugged it. And that didn't fix anything. So I called a guy. I got to call somebody. Usually, I'd be honest with that, I have to call Pete. Okay. And then Pete calls a guy.
Starting point is 00:01:11 My plumber comes over. But it's a Friday, and he's like, I can't get there until Monday. And I'm like, that's all right. It's a weekend. You're going to come a Monday. You know, I'll, I surf, I swim. We've got a jacuzzi. That'll keep my family clean enough for the weekend.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Right. Now, he says he's going to be there first thing Monday morning. So around 2 o'clock Monday, he's there. First thing. And guess what? What? No, I didn't know this was the unit you had. I can't fix this.
Starting point is 00:01:40 No, no. Can't fix it. No, he's like, I can't fix this. Which, I, it's fine. He's like, you gotta call a specialist that works on this exact unit. I'm like, but you've worked on my house many times. He's like, I've never, you've never had a problem with this water heater. I'm like, okay, whatever.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Now, normally, I've always been a fan of tankless water heaters. In fact, the home that Eddie lives in, which was my first home that I ever bought, I put in a tankless water heater. and I thought it was the greatest thing in the world. How's it running? I think we replaced it, but it's a, no, I mean, there's no way I'm not going to have one. They're great. Well, you replaced it. Okay, it didn't survive forever.
Starting point is 00:02:18 But it lasted a long time. How long are they supposed to last? That's my question to you. I mean, I guess 10, 15 years. Okay. I think that's a, I think about 10, 15, maybe even more. I always was under the impression that things last forever. Like, I don't ever remember my parents replacing a water heater.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Yeah, absolutely. Like, I don't, there was never a new washing machine. Do you have a different washer and dryer than what I had originally? Yeah, sure do. It, you had to take, they, they eventually just stop. Oh, okay. Well, I say this all, also, I don't think, you know, when you rent, when you first moved to Los Angeles and you never, I never have stayed in a place long enough.
Starting point is 00:03:03 Right. for things from brand new to broken. And now I live in a home that I'm, you know, hopefully going to live in for a long time, things wear out. Okay, so he can't fix this, but he knows somebody that's a specialist. And of course, that guy can't get out there for another three or four days. So now it's Thursday. He's coming Thursday. So it broke on Friday.
Starting point is 00:03:27 He's coming on Thursday. In the meantime, I know people say that they take colds. showers and they like it, how it starts their day. I can't do it. It's too cold. The other day, I went jogging and at the, I was, I purposely was going to, I'm going to jog, and then I'll be so hot when I get back, I'll go right into the shower. But when I came back into the house, my wife caught me and had to talk to me about something.
Starting point is 00:03:57 I cooled down. Through the timing off. She wouldn't stop talking. I cooled down, and now I have to go into the shower. I'm back, my body temperature is not hot anymore. So it's horrible. I just hate it. I hate it so bad.
Starting point is 00:04:10 You say, yeah, oh, Mr. Rich fancy pants, don't you have a workaround on your property for hot water? And the answer is I do. The air stream does have a tiny tankless electrical water heater. So when it got to the point where it was like, nobody would do the cold showers and the family stunk to high heavens, we all, my kids. and myself got into this tiny little shower that Scott made us, my Airstream guy, the pink penny tiles that he said was the worst decision I made on designing my Airstream.
Starting point is 00:04:46 And we all just had a nice warm, hot shower in there. Then he comes on Thursday. Well, I happened to not be at the house when he arrived because, of course, the window that he was available to show up. I said, Pete, have him come anytime Thursday, except between. noon and 1.30. And Pete's like, great. Got it. The only time he can come
Starting point is 00:05:09 is noon. I'm like, okay, perfect. Okay. So now he's got to deal with my wife. That's not good. She doesn't know how things work and she certainly doesn't know how to relay messages to me. Because I get back and I'm like, do we have hot water? And she goes, no, he said he has to order
Starting point is 00:05:26 apart. It'll be in next week. But it's coming from Anaheim. I'm like, just drive down to Anaheim. get it. Yeah. Not me. But there's got to be a person that does that kind of thing. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:40 And she didn't yell at him, but he was not talking down to her, but like, you know, this is what it is. And she's like, I got a family of four. And then he says, you know how many times a day I hear that? Okay. I don't like that energy. Now, I make sure that when this part comes in the next week that I'm there. So now I've been out of hot water for at least, you know, 10 days. Jeez.
Starting point is 00:06:08 The part comes in and I'm there. I start talking to this guy. His energy is not great. Right. But I break him down. Okay. We start having fun. You know, I start asking enough.
Starting point is 00:06:20 He's like, I'm like, you need any help? He's like, no. You need any help? I'm going, how's it going? He's like, it's in a horrible location. And I'm like, well, I go, that's the way I designed it. So he's starting to pick up. up that I'm being, that I'm just being a silly, smart ass.
Starting point is 00:06:34 I didn't want it to be a feature of the house. And I go, well, I go, why did this break in the first place? I go, I go, hot water heaters are never supposed to break. He's like, this is commercial. I go, what? He goes, you got a hundred gallon tank. There's a commercial. They don't, commercial doesn't last as long.
Starting point is 00:06:51 I'm like, that should be the opposite. Right. He's like, no, no. The residential water heaters will last 10 to, you know, 12 years is what they say. and the commercial like six to ten. And I'm like, that seems short. He goes, well, good news is you don't have to replace the whole thing. You just need this one little part. How much is that one little part?
Starting point is 00:07:11 $1,200. He just kept telling me how hard it is to do it. How am I supposed to respond to that? I don't know. Is he setting me up like I'm supposed to be tipping him? No, maybe. Is that what that was, Pete? Tough to say.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Maybe. He gets it working. But now my daughter is waking up from her quiet time. She hasn't nap anymore. she has a 45 minute quiet time. By the way, he is really a loud talker, this new plumber. And I kept telling him my daughter's sleeping, let's be quiet. What?
Starting point is 00:07:39 I'm like, okay. Good grief. But she's up. So now I'm holding her, introducing her to the new plumber. She's like, what happened to our old plumber? I'm like, our old plumber doesn't specialize in this hot water heater. Okay. Now we have to bleed all the lines or turn all the water on in the house so that there's no
Starting point is 00:07:54 air pockets. I'm like, can I do this on my own? He's like, nah, it's better to do, let's just do it now. Now we'd go to every faucet in the house. Oh, God. Put all the hot water until it gets hot. Make sure there's no air in the line. Not one of them, by the way, had air on the line.
Starting point is 00:08:09 There you go. It was all turned on. Seemed to work fine. Then he sees that I have a little area to chip golf balls. I got this whole 44 yards away. I said no one's ever hold out. He's like, I go, I go, you want to get out there and chip? And he's like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:26 So I got my plumber in the back. backyard. I took a photo of them. Uh-huh. No one. And I've had golfers. I'm not a golfer, but I've had golfers chip on my little green. You've got to clear some water. It's a little elevation change, and you don't have a lot of room
Starting point is 00:08:41 to land the ball and back it up. Uh, but anyway, his first shot, maybe two feet away from the hole. Oh my God, he does play. Second shot, ran it right past the hole, like, right, like almost over the hole. This motherfucker almost hold out. the only person that's ever hold out on my green was going to be
Starting point is 00:09:01 I don't I'm so glad he didn't but man yeah he could swing the clubs sticks it's awesome okay I use a 68 degree wedge and I you know I just do a flop shot send it to the moon I occasionally blade it
Starting point is 00:09:16 send it flying into my neighbors backyard yeah it's all fun stuff anyway now the hot water working. I mean, I just love these people that know how to fix things. Because when something breaks, it's like,
Starting point is 00:09:33 you really want them to show up. You want them to drop everything. That's why I like to befriend all these people. That's true. Because inevitably, it's going to break again. And now I got this guy. Now this guy knows me. He knows that I'm going to let him hit some golf balls.
Starting point is 00:09:50 And he's going to show up. And maybe he doesn't let my kids freeze for the weekend. Right. It's just nice to be clean again. Not that it would have mattered because I'm going to Europe this week. Oh, yeah. So I could have stayed all smelly. Yeah, you're sent.
Starting point is 00:10:05 Bringing the whole family with me on a commercial airline. Hopefully I pick up a few travel hacks from today's guest. Enjoy. This is your Captain Dan Tosh speaking. It's beautiful Tuesday morning with temperatures in the low 70s. Winds coming up from the southwest. We expect to have a runtime. under one hour unless today's guest believes in ghost or seen an actual UFO.
Starting point is 00:10:33 John and Dillon, please prepare the studio for recording as I welcome my first officer today, whose last name we're not allowed to say or to disclose his airline affiliation, but it is one of the majors. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this interview with Joe. Perfect. How you doing, Joe? Good. How are you?
Starting point is 00:10:50 I'm doing great. Thanks for flying in. Yeah, no problem. Question one, do you believe in ghosts? I do not. You do not. You don't want your pilot. At all.
Starting point is 00:11:00 No. Believing in ghost. Especially if they start talking to them. Where are you from, Joe? Born and raised in Boston. I lived there now. I lived in Milwaukee for a few years when I was flying for a regional airline. But now I'm in Boston and based in New York.
Starting point is 00:11:15 Do you remember Midwest Express? They were before me. Well, sure they were. They were before. How old are you? 33. 33. How many confirmed kills do you have?
Starting point is 00:11:23 Zero. Do people want that in their commercial pilots, though? I have flown with plenty of their, military pilots, so they probably have done a few. Greg Hahn, the comedian, he always, that's all he ever wants. He just wants his pilots to be old vets. Old and gray is what I've heard. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:40 I mean, you kind of look like a pilot, though. I do. Yeah, you do. I'll take that. I mean, I would trust you just based off of every stereotype. I just like, look at him like, yeah, yeah, that guy didn't cheat his way through the courses. Well, I started flying I was 18, so. Have you always, always wanted to be a pilot?
Starting point is 00:11:57 Yeah, well, both my grandfathers were pilots in World War II. My dad's dad was a B-29 pilot, and then my mom's dad was an F-4U Corsair pilot. And then my dad was in the Air National Guard, and I grew up around the F-15s that he worked with. Uh-huh. So I just grew up around it, loved it. My dad worked for McDonald-Douglas for some time. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:16 Yeah. What was you doing? Human resources. Why did you have to do a follow-up, Joe? Had you just left it, had you left it at the McDonald-Luggles? It's like, you know. I grew up around human resources. But then I had to get into the actual.
Starting point is 00:12:29 The truth is human reason. But occasionally he would come home with like a model F-15 or something like that to show me. And I was all, I thought it was cool as a child. Yeah. All right. So you were 18 when you got your pilot lessons. 19 when I got my license. 18 when I started flying.
Starting point is 00:12:44 How hard is it to get your license? I was flying Cessna 172s. So just a single engine propeller. And it took me 20 hours to solo, 56 hours to get my license. The first time you solded, were you scared? No. Have you ever been scared in a plane? Once.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Oh. Was it a commercial airline? No, no, no. It was a Cessna. I was like when I was still a student pilot. Uh-huh. And we were doing crosswind landings. And when you're coming in and the runways in front of you and then your nose is to the right,
Starting point is 00:13:14 you know what I mean? Because you have to face into the wind and just crosswind landing. Okay. And we were getting real close to the ground before the instructor had straightened it out. It was the first time I ever had seen something like that. And that's when I was like a little caught off guard, I'd say. I mean, I've been squirrely coming in, and I don't enjoy it. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:31 I'm not afraid to fly, but I'm also not afraid to die. So I think those two things go hand in hand. It's pretty good. I've also never been interested in learning how to fly. Okay. If the Wright brothers hadn't, you know, gotten around to it, do you think you could have figured it out? Flight?
Starting point is 00:13:48 Personally? Yeah. Probably not. No? No. Do you understand how a plane fly? Absolutely, yeah. But I wasn't the one that, like, figured it out.
Starting point is 00:13:55 No, I understand. But I don't understand. I do. Well, I went to school for it, so that's why I know. All right. But even prior, you probably had to put a pretty good grasp on how the lift was, all of them. I didn't know the math behind it, but I had a basic understanding. People that fly a lot, especially if you fly private, you sometimes get privy to pilots wanting to share or allowing you to, like, see things.
Starting point is 00:14:21 And I'm always like, no, no, I'm good. Well, you fly private a lot? I do. But I don't admit it. Okay? You know what I do, you know, equivalent to dead legs. I do that all the time, don't I, Pete? Get those sweet deals when planes just have to be moved.
Starting point is 00:14:34 I'm like, I'll take that one. Fair enough. Would you ever want to fly private? Not really. You don't like those guys? It's not that I don't like them. It's that airline, we have better quality life, in my opinion. Obviously, the guys that fly private have a different opinion.
Starting point is 00:14:47 That's why they do that. In your schedule, what is a typical schedule for a commercial pilot? So I'll work like four days on, three days off, and then it may be like four days on, two days off, and then another three day. It's very, it changes every month. And you don't get to pick where you're flying? We bid. We bid.
Starting point is 00:15:03 So every month you bid for, like, from the first of the tenth, they have the bid open, and you can bid for what you want the following month. You can, like, weigh things like, I want to go to this airport, so I'm going to weigh that higher and then I don't want to go to this airport. So I'm going to, like, put that in the bid as well. Can you demand or say that you will not fly certain places? Bids that you try to avoid it? bid to avoid. But bid to avoid. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:27 But there's so many pilots in the company that there are guys that are willing to do it. So if you really don't want to do it, someone else will. Nathan Fielder seemed to suggest that every pilot in the sky is autistic. Your thoughts? Disagree. He also took 100 hours to get a solo flight. I had my license by that point. Okay.
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Starting point is 00:18:12 Tosh. Shopify. Have you ever actually found anything during the the pre-flight walk around, or are you just giving us something to look at through our tiny windows? No, I found things, yeah. Things that have been more serious than other things and then things that aren't that bad. When I was flying with the regional, the after-equipment bay, you could actually open it up on the aircraft that I was flying for the regional airline, and you have to, like, stick your head in and look at things. And I looked at that, and we had, like,
Starting point is 00:18:43 just water shooting everywhere. So I was like, okay, well, we can't go on this thing. So we called me. Why was water shooting everyone? The water separator for the packs that pressurized the aircraft, then it brings the air through the cabin to keep the aircraft pressurized. There's a water separator, and they were leaking. They hadn't been like reattached some of the pipes. So it was just everywhere. And so I had to call maintenance and have them come out and fix it.
Starting point is 00:19:09 And they were like, good catch. And I was like, what are you good catch? There's water everywhere. How would I miss that? What? Do you have to do that walk around? Before every flight, we'd always do pre-flight, yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:19:19 you do, but you're not on the clock, correct? Correct. So you're not getting paid for that walk around? No, but so we get paid like a duty time. So the second you're supposed to report, you get like a dollar an hour or something like that. But then when you are breaks, release, door closed, that's when you're like block time and you get paid for block time. Do long flights, do you get paid more for like incredibly long flights? You get paid for block time. Right, but I'm saying like, I don't know, there's not an incentive financially to take these like- Well, the more you fly, the more you get paid. I get that.
Starting point is 00:19:50 I was just wondering if it... There is a limit to how much we can fly every month. So it's like 100 hours and block time every 28 days. You ever do the like date line cross, like going down to Australia? No, so my plane doesn't go that far. But the furthest west I've gone to be the west coast. Furthest east I've gone would be Bermuda. For the south I've gone, be Columbia.
Starting point is 00:20:13 And then everything in between. You fly up to Tahoe ever? I fly. I was in Reno two weeks ago. Yeah. Okay. Now, have you ever flown into the smaller airport truckie? No. It's at altitude. Okay. Why is land in an altitude and taking off an altitude trickier than other places? The air is thinner. So why does that make a trigger? You can't, there's not just a button you can press to calculate that? Uh, well, we do like math equations. Like, we computerize things and we have, uh, you take off a different flap settings to get more lift. And the air is thinner. So there's less air flowing over the
Starting point is 00:20:45 wings to give you the lift to get off the ground. That's why high density altitude airports are trickier. And you might take off with the bleeds off as well. So instead of the air going into the aircraft and like pressurizing it, keep the APU running so that all the air from the engines is going through the engines to give you more performance. Okay, but you know all this just off the top of your head. I don't know. At the top of my head, we have to do calculations.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Okay, all right. Yeah. So it just, it involves a little more work. Yes. Pilots need to have a little more experience for these things. Not necessarily experience, just training. You just... I want experience.
Starting point is 00:21:17 You're always looking out for the young blood. The captain always has more experience than the first officer. It's like a seniority thing. So if I haven't done it before, the guy but next to me, definitely has. You sit on the right? I do. Okay. And what's the youngest captain seat person?
Starting point is 00:21:31 So it's based on seniority. So, I mean, if you get hired by the airline when you're 23, and then you do a year in the right seat, get your hours, can switch the left seat. If there's a spot, but it's seniority. based. Are you looking to switch over? Is that always the goal? I'm going to switch planes first. So I'll do a couple different planes, go different places, learn from the older guys, and then once I've got some more experience, then I'll switch to left seat. What's your plane of choice? Right now I'd like to go
Starting point is 00:21:58 wide body, which is a larger, like longer flights. But I've been on the 7-3 for two years now. I'll probably finish out this year on that, and then switch something bigger. Could you fly a helicopter in a pinch? No. No. You sure? Yeah. I couldn't talk you through it? Nope. If I knew how to fly a helicopter. I mean, if I was with an instructor and I did lessons, maybe, I'd have to study it before, but I can't just hop in and go. I think you can. Do you really know what all those buttons and switches do?
Starting point is 00:22:24 Yeah. Slate. That's a stupid question. Good question. Are all of the new planes, are the actual knobs and buttons now, or is it all? They're going more towards touch screens. That's like a discussion that's happening right now. Is that bother you or no?
Starting point is 00:22:39 I don't care. You don't care. As long as it works. Yeah. That's a big plus. Yeah. As long as you're not having to do a software update mid-flight. Yeah, exactly. Is taking off or landing more dangerous?
Starting point is 00:22:50 More dangerous? What's more likely a bad outcome? So if you've coming into land and you don't like it, looks uncomfortable, looks unstable or something like that, you can do a go-around and come back and try it again, reset up, configure properly, do all that. I guess take-offs could be more dangerous. It's what I've always told. I travel with the same group of people so many times.
Starting point is 00:23:13 Pete's wife. wreck. Yeah. My friend Danny, complete wreck, always. But I always just say, hey, if we survive the first minute and a half, we're probably good, guys. The trickiest thing we do in training is probably V1 cuts. So that's when you get to the point where you're committed to taking off and an engine fails, you have to be able to do the procedure to get out and successfully, like... So once you're past that point? Once you're like in the air, you're usually pretty good. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's good to hear. That brings me to another question. Okay, I'm on a plane. Yeah. Both pilots, whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:44 They're gone. They're gone. Yes, let's just, let's make it simple. I, with no experience, never wanted to learn, can I land this plane? If you could use the radios and talk to someone on the ground that knew what they were doing, maybe. What are my odds? I don't know, the MythBusters did that before. Did that what they say?
Starting point is 00:24:05 They said that if you didn't have any training at all, they didn't do well. But if they had the radios on and they were talking to a guy on the ground that knows the plane really well, he could walk them through the steps and they had a much better chance of much better like 100% or much better like 60% like call it 80 I guess I don't remember what the statistics were they did it though 80's nice yeah yeah we're fine I tell people to keep partying in the back if it's 80 what about the one movie what's the movie what's his name had to do the cocaine and like flight Denzel never seen it you never saw you've never had to do a little cocaine to balance yourself out never Okay. That's good.
Starting point is 00:24:43 That seems good. Well, I get drug tested at work, so... How often do you get drug tested? It's random. So you could go months without it, and then it could be twice in a week. What time of year would you be most worried about a drug test? I'm never worried about it. Test me whenever you want. You're not a drug person? No. Were you ever?
Starting point is 00:25:00 No. High school? Went through a little phase? Sorry, fly when I was 18. I never had the chance. See, maybe that's what I do with my kids. Forcing to be pilots. Makes sense. Something where you can't. Dabbling that. a fun thing to say at their eulogy.
Starting point is 00:25:13 I was like, they weren't addicted to drugs, but I forced them to be in a pilot and they were horrible at mass. The crosswind got them. What about the old day? You miss the old days as a commercial pilot where the little kids could come up there
Starting point is 00:25:27 and sit on the creepy pilot's lap. Do they still do that or no? They don't do that. No, we can't have anybody in the flight deck. That would be the ultimate hijacking if we could program little children. Jesus. Like a little 9-11.
Starting point is 00:25:40 I wish that we could bring people up there just because I'd love my wife to see me at work you know what I mean? Because like no one's ever actually seen me up there. Oh, so you might not be a pilot because Lord knows we didn't do any checks. That's true. I was actually wondering that if you guys were to background check me
Starting point is 00:25:59 or ask for an ID or something and you didn't never ask. Have you flown your wife on a small excessina or anything? No, but she was on one of my regional flights she got on. On purpose? Is that how you guys met? Was it a meet cute? No, no, it was through friends. I like the idea of you meeting on the...
Starting point is 00:26:15 Do you do the announcements? No, the first announcement is the captain. So I was in the regional airline. I did the first announcement. And then when we're in the flight, there's one person flying and there's one person monitoring. And the pilot monitoring is one that does all like the seatbelt signs and stuff like that. Your wife, is there a flight attendant that she says,
Starting point is 00:26:34 you know what? Let's make sure your schedules don't overlap anymore. No. No? I mean, that's always been The pilots have always been considered Cheaters, am I right? Has that repud?
Starting point is 00:26:48 That was a rumor or not a rumor? Well, things are different now. That was a stereotype. Like, so now, I think back in the day, it was flight attendants and pilots would travel a lot more together. A team. Yeah, this will crew. But these days, it's a lot different.
Starting point is 00:27:05 I might have a crew of four flight attendants for one flight, and then the very next flight, the captain and I, the other flight I fly that I fly with, we'll go to a different flight, and then those flight times will go to a different flight. You don't really do a lot of overlap, and then they have different rest requirements that they have to comply with,
Starting point is 00:27:21 and we have different rest requirements, so we're in different hotels, there's very little overlap now. Talk about how many Hyatt points you have. I don't have any. The company has quite a few. So you don't get to collect the points on any of your hotels? Some places will give you like a night stay credit,
Starting point is 00:27:38 So that will go towards like your diamond membership or something like that because you get a night stay. But not every place does that, only a few. What about clothes? How much clothes are you bringing? I usually pack like for four or five days worth of clothes. How many suits do you guys have? What do you mean suits? Whatever.
Starting point is 00:27:54 Uniforms, whatever you wear. Uniform is like a one for primary and then a backup. A backup. Yeah. Are you washing? Are you doing underwear laundry in the sink at your hotels? No. All right.
Starting point is 00:28:04 I don't know. I pack enough of that so that I can change it every day and be friends. The answer was, he's like, no. You work out in the hotel gyms? I run a lot. On treadmills? No. You go out into the world.
Starting point is 00:28:16 Do you pack your own food or do you eat the same gross stuff that people in the back of the plane are eating? What they give us. You choke it down. Can a pilot have a cool duffel bag or do you have to have one of those dumb briefcase roller boards? There's a company that pretty much everyone gets their same suitcase from. But if you wanted to be like, this cool pilot with a duffel. I think they say in the manual it has to be black,
Starting point is 00:28:42 but it doesn't say what brand or what type of suitcase it has to be. Yeah, I want the pilot coming in quick. Got a duffel bag. You're like, whoa, look at this guy. They've never seen this before. Mm-hmm. Does the sun get in your eye? Does that bother you?
Starting point is 00:28:58 Yeah. Do you close up your window? What do you do? I have sunglasses. You just do sun glasses. Do you have to use aviators? No. I have a couple.
Starting point is 00:29:08 pairs of aviators. Do people buy you aviators? No, they're too expensive. Oh, they're windshield wipers? Yeah. You use them? When it's raining. Oh. You know that everyone that's in an emergency X row isn't going to help anyone on the plane, right? They said they would. Required to. Can you, you are required to? So could could that come back into like a lawsuit against that person for not assisting people on the plane? I don't deal with lawsuits. That's not my department. Well, I know you don't, but I'm just saying in theory, you're saying that they agree. Well, before every flight, before you close the flight attendants, close the door, the flight attendants have to ask passengers in an exit row, are they willing and able to help in the event of emergency? And they are required to say yes.
Starting point is 00:29:50 And if they are not willing and able, then they'll switch to a different seat. And they find something that will. So they all would say that they will help. I mean, I say a lot of thing for an extra four inches of leg room. How tall are you? Five-nine. Is there a height sweet spot for being a pilot? No, our seats are very adjustable, and so are the rudder pedals.
Starting point is 00:30:10 You could be 6-6 and it could be comfortable in there? I've flown with guys that are very tall. Cream Abdul-Jabbar. All right, well, that's why he had the autopilot. That's Roger Murdoch. Uh-huh. How much autopilot do you use during an average flight across the country? I'll take off and hand fly up to like 18,000, and then I'll turn the autopilot on around there.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Sometimes go a little higher, just depends on what the weather's like. If it's annoying, then I'll turn off. on a little earlier. By the way, are you watching games up there when you're on autopilot? No. Are you allowed to? No. Okay, well, then now, I should have asked that first.
Starting point is 00:30:46 No, we're busy up there. Well, you're not busy all the time? Not constantly, but we are doing things. Like, we're not just sitting there doing nothing. Is AI coming for your job? I don't think so. Would you want an AI pilot to fly you and your family? Is my flight $10 cheaper?
Starting point is 00:31:03 That's interesting. way to think of it. I was trying to pretend to be people. People that shop for stuff like that. Yeah. Like my in-laws, sometimes I'll be like, hey, I've, I handle their travel now. They fly a direct flight across the country and I put them in business class. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:22 When I let them book tickets, they're like, well, we've got two layovers in Minneapolis. I'm like, what are you guys doing? They're like, well, it was $30 cheaper. I'm like, you only have like three more last. around the sun left. What are you doing? Have you ever had a hog tie a disgruntled passenger?
Starting point is 00:31:43 No. I don't have any rope. Well, I don't know. It seems like craziness is going to... This brings me back to the other thing. In your little spiel, do you go for comedy, or do you go for this new speech
Starting point is 00:31:56 that a lot of them are doing about, hey, can we all be kind to each other because things have gone off the rails in the past few years? I don't do either. You don't do either. You stick to the basics? Yeah, basics, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:08 That's fine. Because every time I do an announcement, it interrupts the screens and the TVs and everything. So when I'm a passenger and they kind of like talk forever, I'm like, wrap it up. I'm trying to watch this show. Okay. Good for you. When I do the announcements, I try to keep it short and concise. The delays.
Starting point is 00:32:25 Inevitable. Most of them are out of your hand. Some of them, oh, there's not water in one of the toilets. Let's go. Let's just take off. Don't tell me I have to. There's a law that says we have to have both toilets working. Regardless, that's not it.
Starting point is 00:32:39 Here's my complaint. You have toilets that don't work on your private jets? Sometimes. You know what we do? No? Don't flush. Okay. Wow, okay.
Starting point is 00:32:47 Well, that's fine. That's not, you're not going to trick me. I don't. We got it. My thing with delays is the increments. Mm-hmm. Like, just tell me. Hey, this might be, this might stumble into hours, guys.
Starting point is 00:33:09 I'm going to give you an update every 15 to 30 minutes. This is what we know now. But just that whole, oh, we've got a 30 minute delay. And then 35 minutes later you come on. We're going to have another 30. That's where I just start getting furious. Oh. I don't control that.
Starting point is 00:33:25 Yes, you do. You know ahead of time if it's going to be an hour and a half or two hours. Not all the time. Well, on that one time that you do. Make an announcement. Let us know that it could be a long time. All right. Is a bad stomach a deal breaker for being a pilot?
Starting point is 00:33:42 No. No. Why do you have a bad stomach? Yes. I've always thought there's just no way. Yeah, you can take medication. Yeah, I can go right through medication. Then maybe not for you.
Starting point is 00:33:54 I've been in the bathroom of a plane that's been trying to like, we can't leave yet. There's someone in the bathroom. You're one of those guys. I'm not one of those guys. One of those guys. I'm labeled. You've been in there. It happened one time.
Starting point is 00:34:08 One of those guys. Oh, it happened one time. And I was like, I, what do you want me to do? Shit, let's go. What are you supposed to do if the seatbelt sign is on, but you have to go? That's your call. Okay, you can't. If you get up and go to the bathroom and then we hit turbulence and you are hurt,
Starting point is 00:34:25 we had the seatbelt sign on. We told you not to get out. Okay, that's fine. Okay, if you're just covering your ass, but I'm trying to cover the, you know, everyone else's comfort for the whole flight. On average, how many consecutive flights will a 737 fly before it's taken out of service for maintenance? I don't know the average changes so much,
Starting point is 00:34:42 but we get maintenance all the time. Like in between flights, they have come on and do things. Maybe not major, like, changes to maintenance, but just fixing little things or something's broken, they can check it, test it. We have a minimum equipment list, and if something's on that list that can be broken and we can still safely fly the aircraft,
Starting point is 00:35:00 then they'll just ride it up and fix it when they can to prevent the flights from being delayed. Are you encouraged as a commercial pilot to turn a blind eye just to keep things going? I thought I could trick them by casually saying it. Yeah, yeah, no. How about emergency landings because of something that's happened on the plane, whether it's medical or...
Starting point is 00:35:22 Yeah, I've had a couple of those. Yeah, and what do you do? You just close this airport, here we go? Depends on the situation. I had a gear issue, so we declared emergency, ran the checklists. Went back to the airport we took off out of. Oh, nothing infuriates a group of people more than doing that loop back.
Starting point is 00:35:39 Probably. At least, at least get closer. Go to a different airport. That's what I say. Yeah. Can a geese take down your bird? Well, that was what Sully happened. What happened to Sally?
Starting point is 00:35:49 That was a geese? I don't know if it was a geese. A goose? But it was birds. It was birds, yeah. Do you try to avoid birds? Yeah. Like, if you see birds, you try to.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Yeah. What do you, you just like. You can't tilt a little? bit. I mean, they report... I'm so dumb. If someone's coming into land and then there are birds right there, then they'll report to ATC and then they'll be advised when you're coming in. There's birds.
Starting point is 00:36:16 What does that warning do? By the time I get through, they're usually gone. You need to hire a falconer. I got a guy. Yeah. I got a guy. He'll get rid of those birds. Could have you landed in the Hudson River?
Starting point is 00:36:27 Could have you pulled off the Sully? I'd like to think that I could have. You think people were tooting his horn a little too hard? No. No, that was an incredible accomplishment, but it's not like you practice that. If a jet goes down, what's the best way to survive? Pete back there, the things that he does on a plane is just baffling to me. Don't take your shoes off.
Starting point is 00:36:46 He always keeps his shoes on. Yeah, you should. I take my shoes off immediately. But he keeps his shoes. He wants to be laced up. He wants everything to be like, like he's... Just in case? Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:56 He's ready. He's always in, like, fight mode. He's got the shoulder strap over. You should be the one in the emergency exit row then. No, I don't, he gets whatever seat we give him, but. It's kind of big. He's big. Okay, but anyway, is there anything that you should do extra besides keeping your shoes on?
Starting point is 00:37:15 You're saying shoes on just. Don't take your bag. Leave the bags behind. If there's an emergency, do not take your bags. Okay, you say that, but what if you're going to an island? All of a sudden, oh, my bag had tons of great stuff in there. They'll be fine stuff, my ass. You're not going to find crystal light bags.
Starting point is 00:37:29 I could have my phone. I could have just called somebody and left. Are you on a simulator? I go to the simulator every nine months. Is it required? Yep. I didn't, I'd be honest with, I didn't even, I wasn't even sure. I had flight simulator on my, my first computer.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Yeah. The game. These are a little bit more. Okay, but this one was pretty complicated. I never was good at it. I could never do anything other than like take off fly a bit and then I would just like purposely crash. My brother flew around the world and logged it.
Starting point is 00:37:57 And your brother's such a nerd. Good God. Interesting. I had a hat and everything. He got a hat. What's next for aviation, too? What's the future? Are we supposed to just go faster, or is it just more fuel efficient?
Starting point is 00:38:12 They're talking about doing the Concord plane was so fuel inefficient. That's why they got rid of it. So if they can develop a plane that can go that fast again and be more fuel efficient, then you'll get places faster. What about just breaking the whole solar system? Solar system? Yeah, that would be awesome. No, curious about that.
Starting point is 00:38:31 Just going out of the atmosphere. atmosphere just a touch is that you'd need like heat panels and stuff like the space shuttle because you're coming back in i know about those tiles you don't want to have a bad tile that i remember that yeah that's a pretty basic thing all right so we're not okay that's not happening anytime soon maybe going supersonic it'd be more likely than going outside the atmosphere how fast is supersonic it's faster than the speed of sound no miles per hour five eight it changes based on the altitude oh they hate that gosh you have to be we're dumb you got to say like it changes based on the altitude.
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yeah. Commercial airlines, you fly at what elevation? Like 35? So usually between 30 and 40, but if it's turbulent in the 30s and you might go down to the 20s. How far out can you see turbulence?
Starting point is 00:39:16 Well, we don't see it. You know what I mean. We're always talking to ATC. And so if we're in turbulence, we'll say like, hey, how are the rides ahead? And they'll ask somebody that's further ahead of you going the same direction. And they'll say, like, oh, their ride is bumpy.
Starting point is 00:39:30 Their ride is smooth. That's how you're picking. That's how we have, we have apps as well. Well, it's basically like your traffic on your phone. Like, hey, is there still an accident here? Hit yes. Yeah, we have apps that can do that too. Why can private fly so much higher?
Starting point is 00:39:43 Because they're lighter. I like it when the answers are so simple. That's a great answer. You think I would have had one conversation. I guess we have never. I'm always like, why are we at 55,000? It seems real high. Is there beef between pilots and air traffic controllers?
Starting point is 00:39:59 No, same team. We're always trying to do everything safe. Do you fantasize what they look like? I've never, I've met a few, yes, but not like at work. Like they'll be like an air show or something and you're talking to them and then you meet them, but like... Like, have you talked to somebody many, multiple times, I'm like, oh, I'm curious what this person looks like. You fly, you have a hub, right, where you're based, so I'm based in New York. In and out of there, you'll hear a lot of the same guys, women as well, just because they're doing their job, we're doing our job.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Are they stressed out? Depends on the... Did you like pushing tin? I don't know what that is. Billy Bob Thornton. It was one where he met. Angelina Joe Lee and John Cusack, it was a little sex dynamic. Everything about that says it's before my time.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Pushing 10? Oh, you got to watch pushing 10. It was all about air traffic controls and how stressful it is. The most stressful job in the world. They're all suicidal. Well, I wouldn't say that, but. No, the movie did. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:51 This isn't fact. Okay. They're trying to stir some drama. Oh, it was very. And the sexual tension in that movie was unbelievable. What are your thoughts on people traveling with pets? As long as they're the service animals, they have to be, like, approved. I mean, it used to be, I was back in the day when I had small dogs, you know, we would all cheat the paperwork so easily.
Starting point is 00:41:13 People would never ask you questions. Now I think there's a little bit more, yeah. Now they've gotten a little better. Well, I think people were bringing on, like, service pigeons and, like, riffraff. I don't know. You can't have a service pigeon. What service do they provide? All sorts of animals that were like, they were trying to sneak on as a service animal, and then someone eventually just said.
Starting point is 00:41:32 I said no more of that. Do you think in our lifetime, we're going to see a female pilot? There are many female pilots right now. Oh, that's interesting. I have flown with them, and they are excellent. What percentage of commercial pilots are female? Not a high percentage. I'd say a low percentage.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Uh-huh, okay. I can only think of it one time I had both two female pilots. Okay. And I was like, all right, and they were both well under 30. And I was like, oh, this is great. I loved it. Yeah. But then my old tour manager at the time, not with me, asked one of them like a question, clearly talking to her as if she was the flight attendant.
Starting point is 00:42:11 Nice. And I was like, bro. And I just, the whole flight, we just kept bringing it up. I was making them aware that I was aware of his behavior. And it was not to be tolerated. But I did watch some of the guys that were working at the airport. looking at me going, ooh,
Starting point is 00:42:31 good luck, buddy. But those guys... They wouldn't be there if they weren't qualified. No, that's what I said. I had no issue with it. I mean, it was probably one of the worst flights
Starting point is 00:42:40 I was ever on, though. No, I'm kidding. Is it really true that pilots have to retire at 65? Yep, legal, federally required. It's required, but let's go through this.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Did you know that there are over 200 members of Congress over the age of 65? Yeah. 24 members are over 80. Chuck Grassley's fucking 92. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Can you legally marry at 3,000 feet? Are you like a boat captain? I don't think so, no. I don't have that authority. There's not like aeretime law? No. Aeritime law. Why is deicing so expensive?
Starting point is 00:43:16 Because they used so much of it, probably. One time, they didn't have a deicer, so my guys just went and bought a bunch of bottles of antifreeze from the hardware store and just started pouring it over the wings. And then, luckily, I wasn't on that flight. My family was, and I was sent it. them away and I was like I don't fucking give a shit if that works. That would work though right? It did work. I wouldn't do it.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Oh, that's what they did. I swear to you that's why I don't fly private. Yeah, they're kind of loosey goosey. They were loosey goosey. Has anybody ever landed in the wrong city? I don't think anyone's landed in the wrong city because you should know where you're going. Right, I would hope so. But maybe taking the wrong plane. Oh, you've boarded the wrong plane. You're boarding the wrong plane. I haven't done it, but it has happened. I flew to the wrong city as an 18-year-old once. Didn't they stop you? Nope.
Starting point is 00:44:04 And I yelled at somebody for being in my seat, and they got up and moved. Sorry, sorry. And then I went to, I was supposed to be in New York. I went to Chicago. I was like, what year was that? It was 1994. I went to Chicago Midway, and I was supposed to go, I was supposed to go to Newark. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:19 And I didn't. I was scared when I landed. That's probably when they had paper tickets. Yes, I of course had paper ticket. Yeah, yeah. You can still have a paper ticket now. Okay, if you want to print it out at home. You can. That's correct.
Starting point is 00:44:30 How dare you? Yeah. That's true. We'll be right back. Pasha! What about the vomit comment? You ever have a desire to be a pilot on that thing? I'd do it once.
Starting point is 00:44:45 You would pilot it once? I would go in the back and the front. You would do it both? Yeah, I'd do once. So you'd be interested? I'm not opposed. Ah. I mean, it seems just horrible.
Starting point is 00:44:54 Yeah, probably. Have you ever wanted to do it to your ride? No. Let your passengers feel weightlessness for a bit? No. How long would you have to drop? it before you needed to yank up. A couple seconds.
Starting point is 00:45:04 Oh man, that'd be fun. By the way, stunt racing, like when you say like Red Bull. Red Bull, yeah. Have you, is that interesting to you in any way? If I could, yeah, I would do that, yeah. And those planes are all tricked out, like, to be like freestyle planes? It's aerobatic flying is what they do,
Starting point is 00:45:19 and they do like different maneuvers and stuff like that. And if I had the opportunity to, I probably would. Have you ever wanted to stand on the wing of a commercial flight while flying? No. Can they harness you in out there? Wouldn't that be a cool? promotion. That would be
Starting point is 00:45:33 a short promotion. Are you a member of the Mile High Club? No. And by the way, how do you become a member? Is there like different tiers? Like a platinum versus like a gold? What about just some smooching on a plane? Does that get you
Starting point is 00:45:49 anything? Northwest, I had one flight where I saw a girl on the plane moved over to her seat and by the end of the flight we were dating. Really? Yeah, for a while, like six months.
Starting point is 00:46:04 I was like, oh. Did she know you? Are you? No, no, no, this is pre-anything. Yeah. No, no, this is back in the, this is, you know, I was in the, I was in coach, for God's sakes. The old Daniel dazzle.
Starting point is 00:46:16 The amount of time you spend in an airport. Yeah. A place that gives a lot of us just extreme anxiety. Are you just completely comfortable walking through there? I'm numb to it, I'd say. Okay. Like the security lines, the people, seeing panic, frustration. None of that rubs off on you?
Starting point is 00:46:33 No. They usually have headphones on. You wear earbuds? No, just the headphones. Wireless? Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:42 I didn't know if you were one of these people who are worried about the Bluetooth. No. How much time do you spend at Hudson News? A disgusting amount of time. I'm there every day, pretty much. That's so funny. When you have time off, do you want to travel or do you want to stay home with your family. I stay home. Yeah. You don't want to look we can fly for free so let's go to. I used to when I like
Starting point is 00:47:07 when I was younger and single and I wasn't too worried about what my at that time girlfriend was doing. I would go travel. I'd go to concerts and do things like that. But now that I have a wife and other things at home going on, I have to stay home more often. You're about to be a father. Are you excited? Yes. This is your first first yeah. Good for you. Yeah. Your life is going to suck after that. Are you going to take paternity leave? Like these little. pussy father. I'm working. I'll work through it.
Starting point is 00:47:34 You're gonna work through it? She gets time off. She gets six months, and then my parents live three minutes away so they can help out. Okay. And I'll work. You should still try to be around a little bit extra. Okay. If you say so.
Starting point is 00:47:45 She's going to be mean. Yeah. She's going to go through some stuff. Her organs are moving around. It gets ugly for a bit. Some people are great. She's doing great. She's great right now.
Starting point is 00:47:55 Okay. She looks great. She feels great. She's doing great. Let me know when she gets her first clogged duck. I don't know what that means. Yeah, exactly. You're on the floor trying to unclog it and she's screaming and then you get a mouth full of breast milk.
Starting point is 00:48:06 It's awful. Yeah, I'll call you. It's a beautiful thing. I think I have John's number. Go all of us. What do you like to do for fun outside of flying? I'll golf. My buddy has a sailboat trying to sail a little bit.
Starting point is 00:48:19 Do you sail? I'm not good. Not well. And then I snowboard in the winter if I can. He does all the things. I mean, all the cool things. Fun. It seems like a Viagra commercial.
Starting point is 00:48:31 everybody that's on the show gets a gift okay it's just stuff that's laying around my house the first thing I'm giving you is a three pack of Calvin Klein I buy these in bulk and I just uh you know because my father-in-law I took a trip with him recently he came on tour with me and we flew up to Montana and it came up that he only had brought one pair of underwear and I was like he's like well I don't I'm not dirty I'm like what we've been here for three days anyway I've always got extra underwear right around the house and I worry that when you're traveling that you might not have an extra clean pair so you got that. Thank you. You're not going to know the reference
Starting point is 00:49:07 but this is from Aspen. By the way a great altitude airport. Flying to Aspen is just terrifying. It's gorgeous. And 50% of the flights are canceled. Oh, the wind just got up to 40 miles an hour. No one's flying or whatever it is. But this is where I performed there, the opera house theater there. But I also gave you this
Starting point is 00:49:27 water cooler because of was the TV show hijacked? Did you see hijack on Apple TV? No. Well, whatever. The co-pilot bashes the captain's head with a water cooler and saves a life.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Interesting. You're going to want that. Do you keep stuff from hotels or no? Not necessarily hotels. I collect shot glasses. Oh, I don't have shock glasses. I have toothpaste. The Marvis toothpaste.
Starting point is 00:49:51 Do you like Marvis toothpaste? I don't think I've ever tried it. Okay, you're going to love it. The problem is it doesn't have fluoride in it, so it's not... Is this like VIP? Yes. Yeah, okay. It's like nicer hotels.
Starting point is 00:50:01 Speaking of nice rotel. See, I have all these ASOP travel pouches. These are good face creams, things like that. Who knows? You know, maybe your wife wants it if you don't want it. But you're going to love those. This you need. Just, it's a little tiny baby Jesus.
Starting point is 00:50:19 He can be your co-pilot. I just, you put this on, just, and then make sure, especially if you're flying with somebody that you've never flown with, just be like, hey, this has to stay here. I've never flown with that. I'll do that's night. I'll send you the picture. It'll be great.
Starting point is 00:50:36 Take some gum out of your mouth, stick it on and put him into it. Yes, you're chewing gum. You got a cool duffel bag. You put your gum down and like, look at this rock star pilot. Okay. Here's a pair of earbuds, but you don't go in ear. No. So you just have to give those to somebody.
Starting point is 00:50:49 All right. Okay? You probably have to pop off the rubber thing and put a new one on it if the person is germophobic. Do you let people know that you're a commercial pilot, like, in social settings? Not really. Because I feel like people might want to vent to you a little bit. If someone asks me what I do and I say I'm a pilot and they'll say what airline,
Starting point is 00:51:06 and I usually won't say, because every time, they're either going to say, oh, I love that airline and blah, blah, blah, blah. Or they'll say, I hate that airline. They'll tell me some experience that they've had like 10 years ago. You don't care about that. I don't care. That's like being a poker dealer and somebody wants to share their bad beat story. Are you a gambler?
Starting point is 00:51:23 Occasionally. Oh, no. I don't want to hear about your vices. How long do you want to go on with this profession? I mean, I don't know if I want to go all the way to 65, but probably late 50s, early 60s. Doing just commercial or just in general? This commercial. But you'll fly forever then?
Starting point is 00:51:42 Probably. Will you buy your own plane? Nah, I don't know. I don't know. I was talking to a guy the other day who did that, and he had a, there's just a lot of maintenance involved. And it was kind of a money pit, so I was like, maybe. Well, I mean, certainly some, like a smaller plane doesn't have to be that bad. You could be surprised.
Starting point is 00:51:58 Even like a little single prop There's a lot of maintenance involved with aircraft You don't have if it's yours You don't have to keep it up Yeah It's true Thank you It's true
Starting point is 00:52:07 Thank you I guess yeah I wouldn't want to fly it though No you're fine Rant it out You're fine Rent it out I always like it when people have
Starting point is 00:52:16 Those like little Cessna's And they have to tie them down To the runway Where they're parked The ramp yeah Yeah Yeah yeah Is that just because they'll blow away
Starting point is 00:52:24 Yeah Didn't you There was a video of something in California This was years ago but like the winds got so bad that the planes were getting lifted. Because all it takes is air going over the wing is to create lift. What's the slowest you can be going in the air with the Cessna? You put it in slow flight.
Starting point is 00:52:39 You get the aircraft configured for slow flight and you can do like 35 miles per hour. Uh-huh. And if you face into the wind and the wind's like 40s, then you can go backwards. You can go backwards? I've done that, yeah. Oh, that's the coolest thing of hurt. Yeah. Well, maybe you could help.
Starting point is 00:52:53 We've been trying to, where does wind come from? It's the earth spinning. Is it? Yeah. Is it your spinning? Oh, it's so good. None of us could figure it out. We've been kind of like, we've been stuck on this for a line.
Starting point is 00:53:05 We were like trying to figure out where wind starts. Like, where does it start? Yeah, it's a combination of the earth spinning. And then the sun is heating the earth. And so there's like places where it gets warmer and air rises. Have you ever had a conversation with a flat earther on a flight? No. Are you going to force your child to be a pilot?
Starting point is 00:53:26 No. They want to. They can. teach him out of sale properly then you guys can handle all of it land and sea person your wife
Starting point is 00:53:37 I wouldn't trust that train how much work is a train really unless you're running that snow piercer you remember that one yeah I've seen that one yeah you've seen snow piercing oh finally a movie you've seen the dumbest out of all movies
Starting point is 00:53:53 I've referred one we're all eating rat babies or whatever it was I don't know, cockroaches on the bars. All right, Joe, thank you for being on the show. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it. I want to thank Joe for being on the show. And Carl, I remembered the questions that I wanted to ask him that I forgot.
Starting point is 00:54:19 One was, has anyone ever tried to give him a tip? Paid him a little cash at the end of a flight. That's what I found about tip. Oh, they don't tip in Europe. Oh, really? Hand people money and say thank you and see if they take it. I bet you they do. They do.
Starting point is 00:54:36 Turns out they like tipping. Turns out everyone likes tipping. Everybody likes it. Oh, you know, oh, it's not in our culture to tip. Okay, well, it's in mind to give away my money and say thank you. The other question I wanted to ask him, since he doesn't really watch any of the movies, maybe he's big into TV. and I want to know his thoughts on the Mandalorian
Starting point is 00:54:58 because he's really a pilot and he's just flying around the galaxies and his ship's always breaking and he's always having to get it fixed it's also about being a new father with Grogu. Yeah, it's very similar. It's basically what he's doing.
Starting point is 00:55:13 He's kind of like the Mandalorian. Except for he doesn't have a helmet that he can't take off. Also, it just seems like it would fall off with all these battles that he's doing because when he drinks, you see him And in season two, he like lifts it to drink water in front of Grogu. But if it comes up that easy, surely it's that heavy metal helmet would fall off when you were constantly being thrown to the ground and kicked and everything.
Starting point is 00:55:39 But it never has. Anyway, well, let me know, Joe, if you've ever been tipped. They probably have a company policy over at Frontier. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. I wasn't supposed to say that. He doesn't fly for Frontier. You kidding me?
Starting point is 00:55:55 Wouldn't let them in. Worst airline I've ever flown. I'll tell you. Sun Country. Sun Country. Sun Country was disgusting. They had a separate hangar in Minneapolis that they went to? They do.
Starting point is 00:56:10 It's like a cross. What's this about? Well, a regional airline. I hated Sun Country. Hated it so much. Is it out of business? Has to be. I think it's not.
Starting point is 00:56:19 All right. Let's do some plugs here. Patreon.com slash Tosh show. I think there's a new segment where there's just a one hour of Carl outtakes. Just him doing crazy reaction shots. My first farewell tour. Where are we going, northeast? Yeah, we are.
Starting point is 00:56:42 All through June. Then we're doing the southeast in the fall. Yep. Got Phoenix. Guys, we're going to be all over the place. And we're not canceling shows. We're adding shows. Boom.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Take that. Whoever you are. You're canceling them? Fallout boy. Fallout boy. That's, that was, I have no idea where that came from. Oh, no, that's a good reference. You know who I bet doesn't cancel concerts?
Starting point is 00:57:12 Who? Heavy metal bands. Yeah. I feel like their, their clientele is loyal. Is loyal, recession-proof, doesn't get, doesn't fluctuate. Recession-proof. is good. You're probably right. They're just like, yeah, what do they care?
Starting point is 00:57:28 Anyway, check out Megadeth's tour. Go to Megadeth.com. Speaking of heavy metal, I can hear that drumbeat coming. It's time for they love me, they love me not. Here we go. All right, let's do it. From Power Planet Forever. I agree.
Starting point is 00:57:45 Is that it? That's the comment. They just agree? They agree. Does it matter what episode it was? I think it was the watered cremation episode. but they agree. They just are overall viewpoints on everything?
Starting point is 00:57:58 I agree. I love it. That's a person that actually loves me. Exactly. My wife doesn't even agree with me. It's the thing she said, I agree. I'll be a great person to be hanging. All right.
Starting point is 00:58:09 Let's get to they love me not then. I like that. It's from Rams 812. So Tosh will complain about teacher versus guide but doesn't think twice about no longer saying homeless people, make it make sense. I can't stand. people.
Starting point is 00:58:26 But now, make it makes sense is another one of those where it's like, oh, you're just insufferable. Make it make sense. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:36 Oh, so cool. I'll make it make sense, hopefully, unless you're completely brain dead, which you very well could be. Teacher isn't offensive to anyone.
Starting point is 00:58:49 So that's why I will continue to call a person that's teaching kids in elementary school, a teacher. Oh. Now, to some people, not to you, not to a lot of people, but, but to some people, homeless was offensive. So there was an alternative for people that didn't want to be offensive to use a different term.
Starting point is 00:59:15 And that's, that's the difference. Now, I don't know if that makes sense to you or not. I mean, I don't know how else. Some people like in the homosexual community, in the queer community, those queer is empowering. There are other terms, not as empowering. So you say those words. But maybe to you, it's not. Does that make sense to you or not?
Starting point is 00:59:45 Why do we have to make sense to this person? Well, they want me to make it. make sense. Yeah. Make it make sense. And if they still don't think it makes sense, well, then it's like, oh, you're refusing to look at yourself and go, I'm a dipshit. Is there, can we block a person from listening to the podcast?
Starting point is 01:00:06 Is that possible? Back trace it? Well, because that was always fun to block people on Twitter. Right. Block party. That was a fun. I love that segment. Why can't we, why can't we block people from the podcast?
Starting point is 01:00:17 YouTube should make that a feature. We can block them. but he can just listen to it without signing into an account. No, we need to like block his computers. Oh, okay. We got to back trace him. Yeah. Okay?
Starting point is 01:00:28 This guy done goofed. He done goofed. Let's backtrace him. See you next week.

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