Tosh Show - My Competitive Jigsaw Puzzler - Simmie Berman

Episode Date: March 17, 2026

Daniel interviews part-time competitive jigsaw puzzler and full-time Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory engineer Simmie Berman. Join our Patreon for exclusive content: http://patreon.com/toshshow

What's the largest puzzle you've ever done? Me personally, I did a 9,000 piece puzzle. Oh, that's a real number. It was like two, it's like an underwater scene. What was the dimensions of it? I don't know how to do it on the floor. On the floor. That's kind of sad.

I was a lot younger. Let's do it. It's toss show time. Everybody? Big inhale. The other day I was reading, Ed? Yeah. How long should a 50-year-old be able to hold his breath? Okay.

Because I was worried because I felt like I was just so out of shape. I'm like, I should be able to go longer than this. Right. How long do you think you should be able to hold your breath? 60 seconds. Okay. Do you think you can go 60? I don't know.

It said between 30 and 60 seconds. And I was like, oh, okay. So I just like, so I just went underwater. And I timed it. I put a timer on it. And I didn't even give myself a chance to get a good breath, just went under. All right. And then I was like, oh, no, this is bad.

I can't do it very long, and I popped up. I was at 45 seconds already. Oh, look at you. I'm right in the sweet spot. You're like a 30-year-old. Oh, felt good. Got the fake family coming over? All the in-laws.

Let me tell you something. I call them the fake family. Mm-hmm. Because they're not the real family. They're not your real blood. Blood. Blood is what draws the line. Exactly.

If you're not, it's like sister-in-laws and stuff. You're not my... Right. Right. That's not a kid ourselves. And if it's my fake family, you know, like my wife's brother and then who he married, now I got to call her something? Right.

This is getting ridiculous. So many levels to it. It's too many levels. But yeah, they're on their way. They're traveling. Normally I refuse to fly my in-laws out here unless it's a direct flight. the last time I gave them a connecting flight. At one point, it was the middle of the night,

and they were on a street in Dallas with their luggage. That's how bad things went. Man. So I was like, okay, I can never give you guys a connecting flight. You have to have a direct flight. Now, some people probably wonder, Daniel, you spend so much time with the in-laws. What about your real family?

Do you do things with them? No. My real family, they got the first 40 years of my life. And the in-laws have gotten the last 10. And also, it's a wife thing. And we're in a position where if they come tag along while we're doing shows and things, it's not a convenience. It's actually helpful.

You know, they help with the kids, et cetera. Now, my parents, they don't fly anymore. Could they fly, of course. They choose not to. So the only time I get to really spend time with my family is when I'm on the East Coast. Okay? But don't worry. I do plenty of wonderful things for them.

Okay. But don't worry. People are like, oh, it seems like the in-laws are getting the best of it. Mm, my parents, they did all right. Okay. They reap the fruits of. of my labor long ago. And they're grateful.

Oh, gee, let's check in my mom. Watch how quickly my mom will say how grateful she is. Hey. What are you doing? I have two quick questions. Okay. One, people have wondered, you know, I spend a lot of time with my in-laws. Why am I not traveling with my family?

And I wanted you to address that. that we don't want to fly anymore i turn 80 tomorrow we don't we don't fly don't do airports anymore but that's fine i said that and a long drive and we don't do long drive but what about actual spending like lots of time like like the idea of going on a trip with me someplace like for days and days how does that sound that doesn't sound good Do you want to be with me that long? You've never asked to come on a tour. Would you like to be on a tour bus with me for like a couple weeks?

I think not. I think not. Fun way to see the country. Daniel. How much do you like to be with me for days and days and days and days? You know, they used to say a guest is like a fish. It's like it smells after two dates. You don't stay.

My mom taught me not to overstay ever with anybody. You think, well, I mean, but what about the grandkids? Don't you want to spend some QT with them? Yeah, but still, you do your thing, and grandma's just kind of think, well, what it was like when we were 20, 50 years ago, 70 years ago, whatever. How's your health right now? You went to the dentist, everything good?

Everything's good, and I don't have to go back for six months, yeah. Well, that's what we all do. We all go. You know what? Just recently, my dentist started trying to make us go three times a year. I know. Well, and they tried to do that deep cleaning thing, and that you could go every three months or something. And that, but I, wait, I say no to that, too.

I'm not going, I'm not going three times a year. I like to go every twice a year. That's it. Yeah. Okay. Well, is this, is this on the, is this on, is this on the radio? Yeah, it's on the radio. We're on 102 jams.

Don't touch that dial. I listen to IHeart Radio. Oh. I used to be with IHeart Radio, and then they didn't pay me like Lipson. Lipson said, you know what? We'll give you the big dollars because you're doing quality work. And I heart... Yeah, but you do long commercials now, and people don't like the commercials.

It is true, she's right. I mean, I can't argue that. What else do you want me to say? I had one of oh hey have you done any puzzles lately yeah you know we're up in North Carolina now I'm working on a puzzle right now but it's only a thousand

it's a thousand well thousands a real puzzle this is a bigger this is a bigger place than our place where we stay up here oh you guys isn't that nice that when you go to a hotel you say it a bigger place than your home well it's not a hotel wearing a cabin oh you guys rented an Airbnb

no it's a house it's a I don't know. Well, I'm saying, is it, is it? It's not Airbnb. It's not through Airbnb. What's it through? Is it through a hotel? No.

They rent cabins, just like a bunch of them? Yes, yes. So anyway, the reason I ask about the puzzling is I have a, a professional speed puzzler on today that I'm interviewing. Well, I have to, I, well, I always listen to it. Yeah, why do you and your conservative friends listen to my podcast? My conservative friends don't. There's just a couple people that follow you, and they're not conservative. Oh, so they don't, so they...

You always tell me what you say, and I always think, oh, well, I don't agree with that. Did you get any feedback from that one? What was it? The one that... No, well, I don't know. I haven't been there because I left the state of Florida, and we went to North Carolina. Okay, you got out of Dodge once things... Yeah.

I'm right. Good for you. All right. Well, you sound great. You sound great. Get out there, get your steps in. What do you add a day? 10,000, 20,000? I don't know. I walk a couple hours. I don't know. I go by time. It's probably not steps. I'm old, Dan. You don't understand. I'm getting old. I understand. You have to be old because I'm old. I know. And you're 30 years younger than me. Oh, man. I got 30 more years. That's exciting. Maybe, maybe All right, I'll let you go Tell dad I said hey I will

I hope this isn't all on the year Oh, I hope it is Uncut, this puts this on Patreon That's bad Okay, love you Love you, bye Bye I can't believe

She's getting to do a thousand-piece puzzle Up there in her cabin In North Carolina The point I was trying to make Is that we We just kind of My mom just kind of does her own thing. She has her own life.

Yeah. She's not impressed with anything that I do. And, you know, she's, I mean, she pretends that she's done. She listens to this podcast first thing Tuesday morning and they cash the checks. I don't give them money anymore. I cut them off. I said, you guys got to knock it off. You guys are 80.

All this puzzle money. You're 80 years old. Going to North Carolina and do puzzles. You like doing puzzles, Eddie? No, I hate them. You hate puzzles. Yeah. Megan likes them, so she does them and I don't.

Well, I'm hoping to get a few pointers from today's guest because my puzzle game, it's a C at best. I'd like to get it up to a B. Enjoy. Spring is here, and now is the best time to plant. Fast-growing trees can help anyone get their home and yard ready with spring planting essentials and trees and plants that are guaranteed to thrive. Every plant is backed by their own.

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24-7 customer support. Start your business today with the industry best business partner, Shopify, and start hearing, sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com.com slash tosh. Go to Shopify.com slash tosh. That's shopify.com slash tosh. My guest today was born in Korea, raised Jewish in Massachusetts. Say that. every times. And as a rocket scientist at NASA, yet the reason I'm dying to talk to her is that she is among the fastest competitive jigsaw puzzlesers in the world. Please welcome Simmy. Thank you. Look at that. That's a lot to unpack. Oh my goodness. All right. First question, Simmy. Do you believe in ghosts? Uh, sure. Sure. No, you don't, though, right? I don't know. I haven't really

thought about it too much. Well, I'm giving you an opportunity right now to think about it. I believe in aliens. Well, that's not ghosts. No. All right. Do you want to know why I picked the sweater to wear for you? Sure. Well, because I associate puzzling a little bit, no disrespect with grandmothers. Oh, yeah, that's fair.

And then I picked a sweater that felt grandma-y. Okay. Wait so you speed puzzle. It's not grandma puzzling. No. No. I mean, I don't know if I'm capable of speed puzzling. Well, we're going to find out, yeah?

Now, the goat, it was a TV show on Amazon I hosted. One of the final rounds was a puzzle, and it was like 12 pieces. and I had to watch these contestants quickly due to... And it was just baffling at how horrible they were. Anyway, all, let me get to it. You were born in South Korea, adopted in 1984, raised in Massachusetts in a Jewish family. My only real question is F. Mary Kill, the Sox, Celtics, Pats.

Mary the Red Sox, kill the Celtics. F, the Pats. No. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty good at hand. I'm going to be honest with you. I think she nailed it.

I think she nailed it. I think that's what you have to do. Sorry, Celtics. How racist were kids in Massachusetts growing up? There were, like, no Asian kids in Massachusetts where I grew up. Uh-huh. So, not that racist, I guess. I also grew up and went to a Jewish day school, and so it was tiny.

There was, like, five kids in my fourth grade class. Uh-huh. I grew up in a neighborhood with a lot of, like, black and Hispanic kids. So maybe not so racist. Okay. Well, I mean, they can say... Not where I'm from. I'm not saying that about other areas.

Speak Hebrew. Kind of, yes. Okay, so first of all, name mead, to give gosh o'tek, Simi, to da shlackat at the time to shivet

and to ashtef at the zippoor, slach. I think that was perfect, right? Okay. You said something about sitting. That's all I can.

Here's what we're going to do, Simi. I'm going to use AI to clean up my Hebrew. Okay. And it's going to come across perfect. I learned Hebrew really well until fourth grade and then have not really spoken it since then.

Are you Jewish? I am. Jewish. Okay, you're still Jewish. Still Jewish. Still Jewish. Uh-huh. Oh, man. I'm not, oh, man, oh, man. Oh, man. How often are you going to temple? You're raising your kids Jewish? My kids are Jewish. Yes, so we go to our synagogue as Reconstructionist, which is like kind of liberal hippie-dippy Jewish. Okay. And we go every Saturday because they have Hebrew school. Do they enjoy it? I think they like seeing their friends, and I think they like the tradition part. I think the services can get a little boring for them. Yeah. But we do all the holidays and stuff. Sure. What about Christmas? Do you celebrate Christmas?

My husband is not Jewish, so we do Hanukkah in our house and then Christmas with his family. They get both. That is nice. That's really the way it should be. Just as many gifts as possible. Do you spoil your children? Probably. You do?

Yeah, probably. Who doesn't? My son just asked me the other day goes, what has spoiled me, Dad? And I was like, oh, no. But then I found a little, I thought it to myself, I go, well, there's a difference between being spoiled rotten and spoiled. So I was like, you're just spoiled. You're not the rotten part yet. But it's quickly approaching.

Okay. You graduated from Cornell. Do you miss Central New York? No. That's a trick question. No one does. No one does. I mean, I liked my time there, but I don't need to live there.

At what age did it become obvious that you have the mind of a rocket scientist? I get to be like a little annoying about it. I don't actually, I'm not a rocket scientist. I'm a mechanical engineer. So we build the stuff that goes on top of the rockets. But, I mean, I always liked doing puzzles and Legos and stuff as a kid. I liked math. Went to college.

I actually wanted to be an architect, but I had never taken an art class. So I ended up just doing engineering. And it was like, I don't know, I like it. It's pretty fun. But I probably wouldn't say I had the mind of an engineer. Probably until, like, five years ago is when I finally felt confident in myself as an engineer. Really? Yeah.

Oh. Were your grades just off the charts? I did have good grades. I mean, I went to Cornell. Is the writing already on the wall for your girls? Oh, I totally shove stem down their throats, like, pretty aggressively. My little one, Rosie, is really into Legos and circuits and that kind of stuff. And then Lulu, my oldest, is like a total art, like theater or music kind of kid.

That's good. A little balance in the house. All right, before we dive into your competitive Jigsaw career, we can't blow past the fact that you work at NASA. Tell me everything you can about Dragonfly, even if I have to cut this out of the interview. I work for a company called the Johns Hopkins Applied Physics Lab. So we are, NASA contracts us to build spacecraft for them. And so I am the lead of the thermal mechanical subsystem for Dragonfly, which Dragonfly is a 2,000 pound 10 foot by 2 foot-ish, eight-bladed rotorcraft that's going to go to Titan. We're scheduled to launch at 2028, and then it takes five and a half years to get there. And when it comes down, it's going to come down with a parachute and at a As it's like coming down with the parachute, we're going to turn the rotors on, and then it's going to fly off and land, take samples and pictures, and then do that 50 times. It's going to do that 50 times on Titan, which is the moon of Saturn? Yes.

I mean, I only looked it up last night. It's a, I think, one-seventh the gravity and, like, the atmosphere is, I think, four times as thick as Earth. So it's very conducive for flight. So I think the lander here on Earth is like 2,000 pounds, and it's like flying a Vespa, approximately when you're on Titan. A Vespa scooter? Yeah, like the weight of a Vespa. I've had a Vespa scooter, and I'll be honest with you.

I've tipped it, and it's fallen on me. Yeah. Didn't feel light, okay? You ever ridden a Vespa? I've never ridden a Vespa. You ever ridden a motorcycle? Nope. What about an e-bike?

Nope. Where are you staying on e-bikes? You're going to let your kids have e-bikes? Probably. They're cracking down. New Jersey. New Jersey just did the first Smackdown on all a pedal assist bicycles.

Kids are getting killed. It's no good. Okay. Hey, there's a hotel. What? They are. I just got, um, I've, I'll let me show you this. You tell me if this, if I wasted a million dollars. You can reserve a spot for the first hotel that's going to be on the moon and it's like a million dollars. It's, it's, well, it's going to cost $10 million, but to reserve the spot is a thousand $1,000 non-refundable, and then you have to put a million dollars down.

When did they say you can stay there? Feels like it's going to be a while. It seemed like too much reading, so I just stopped. I just made sure that I could get my $1,000. I'm only going to lose $1,000. Okay. Is this a bad idea? This thing is going to be a while.

It's the first lunar hotel. You can already take reservations. Am I the only one that's excited about this? Would you fly on like a SpaceX or a blue origin rocket? Not SpaceX. Would you fly on the Blue Origin one? I guess. I don't have a desire.

I mean, the hotel on the moon just seems so stupid. It was like a much bigger commitment. It just seems so stupid. I was like, well, I got to give them $1,000. And the dumbest thing, we'll get on track in a second, is the anti-gravity planes that just want to, like, just dip and let you float around for a few seconds. I have no desire to do that. Oh, I would do that. I mean, I do that when the turbulence is bad.

And it's like, oh, oh, should have put my seatbelt. on but no I don't want that you've already done that no I've never done it but I would do you have any desire to go to space we were just talking about it I did apply to be an astronaut like many years ago and I made it past the year completely unqualified round and then that was it they I wasn't actually qualified so I tried once you look like an astronaut right now just because of the USA like USA jigsaw puzzle I know it's jigsaw puzzles but I mean if you walked right past with a helmet on I'd be like That's an aspirin. Answer this next question as humbly as you can.

Are you the smartest person you know? No. I'm like the dumbest person amongst my friends. Oh, man. That's nice that you hang out with people above you. I know. See, I don't do that. You know, I just try to hang out with just complete morons all the time.

Right, Ed? Yeah, we do, man. That's our thing. When did you first develop a passion for puzzling? Well, so as a kid, I always puzzled just with my mom. like she would sort all the puzzle pieces for me and I would do them as a kid. When you were a child and you started doing puzzles, were you doing age appropriate or were you jumping up pretty quickly? I mean, I feel like when I was like nine or ten did like a thousand piece puzzles.

I don't know if that's age appropriate or not. I don't know. But then in 20, like during COVID, right? Like I just started doing more puzzles and I was like, oh, I think I'm kind of fast of this. I wonder if I am fast. I have no idea. And so I was looking online. And in 2022, they had the first.

first USA Jigsaw Puzzle Nationals in San Diego. And I saw it online and I had no idea what it was. And I was like, I am not going to go to this because it's in San Diego. And if it's lame, I don't want to have flown all the way out there. Well, I mean, but still San Diego. It's nice weather. You can go to the beach. You walk around. D.C. It's a really far flight. But then it turned out that the program I worked on before Dragonfly is called Europa Clipper. It's on its way to Jupiter right now. And we worked with JPL. And so we had to deliver. I built the big antenna on it. There's a big 10-foot high-gain antenna, and we had to deliver it to JPL the week after USA Nationals. So I thought, oh, if my company will pay for me to fly to California, I'll check it out.

And so I showed up, and I didn't know a single person, and I walked in and was like, oh, these are my people. And it was super fun. And then you just really, really quick, you fall down the puzzle rabbit hole. What do those people look like? There's a lot of women. Okay, so it's women. And age range.

I think it's like a lot of women in their mid-30s and up. Oh, yeah. The fastest puzzle right now is a 12-year-old, and he's so fast. Is he a white dude? He is. I mean, that really pokes some holes in the theories here. And how many people are competing? So USA Jigsaw Puzzle has over 3,000 members.

Okay. So that's like the national organization. At nationals, the individual competition, there's four heats, 200 people per heat. So 800 people are going to compete? When you say heat, are they all doing the same puzzles? Yeah. So each heat, all 200 people will get the same exact puzzle. They give it to you like in an opaque bag.

Yeah, and then each heat is a different puzzle. It's in an opaque bag. Does that mean that you don't have a box to stare at the photo? No, you have the box. You just can't see what it is. So they like set out all the tables and every table has a puzzle on it in a bag. And it's the same puzzle. And then they say start and you open it up and you have the box and you can look at the picture and you can do the puzzle.

But each heat will have a different puzzle. So nobody has the advantage of having seen the picture and been able to study it ahead of time. Is this a puzzle that could have been bought at a store? So at nationals, they have all unreleased puzzles. So they get all brand new puzzles for nationals. But other competitions. And other competitions sometimes you could be like, oh my goodness, I've done this puzzle. Now my question to you is, is that really an advantage?

It is totally an advantage. How is that an advantage? You remember pieces and shapes? Usually you remember the picture. So you're like, oh, there's a flower in that corner. Or there's like. You can see the flower on the box. But when you're sorting all the pieces, it's real helpful to know without having to keep looking at the box.

or when you're trying to figure out where the pieces go without having to keep referring to the box. What number pieces are we talking about for these contests? 500 piece puzzles. 500 piece puzzle. So for individually you do 500 piece, pairs you can do, they do 500 pieces this year. And then teams we're doing, in the prelims,

it's a 500 piece followed by a 1,000 piece. And then in finals, it's 2,000 piece, and teams is four people. Could you put me on your team, and I could be on your team, but I don't do anything? I don't think, what? No, because I have to have to. I haven't seen already, but you could compete if you want to.

We could get you a spot. If you're not a speed, like, do you have to hit a certain mark to even become eligible into the tournaments? No, you just sign up. Each competition has a time limit, so usually it's around two hours is the time limit. I don't like that, though. I feel like you should have to be able to be a certain level to even get in so that people like Eddie and I just don't sign up just to do it. There's no chance I could finish. That's what we want, right?

It's still a growing community and it's still a growing... What about sponsors? Do you have any sponsors? I do not have sponsors, but Vaughn's team has a sponsor. Their team has a sponsor? Yeah, their team is sponsored by Cobble Hill. Cobble Hill. Yeah, which is a Canadian company.

That reminded me of a Hallmark movie. Oh, it's sponsored by Balsam Hill. What about Ravensburg? The Ravensburger. The Ravensburger, Springbok. Do they sponsor anybody? I don't think Springbok does. I don't know that Ravensburger sponsors any individuals,

but they're like the main person at National. So we do all Ravensburger puzzles at Nationals. Okay. Are Elms the Tiffany of puzzles? Oh, I'm not a good person to ask about these. Do you like Elms? I've never done one. You've never done an Elms?

No. Oh my goodness. Let me tell you something. Okay. They are fun. Great. I did an entire beautiful Elms recently and then sure is shit. They're wooden.

Yes, there wouldn't. And the shapes are very different. But I was missing a piece. and I just couldn't wrap my head around that I was missing it. Now, I have two young kids, so there's a good chance that one of them likes to hoard the last piece and then come in and go, oh, were you looking for this? I finished the puzzle. Do your girls do that ever?

Try to do the last piece? Oh, 100%. I mean, if ever there was a time. They make me save the last like five pieces for them to do. Okay, so you're just generous. I just get furious. I will rip their hand from putting it in. Smack it away.

They do not get that satisfaction. You have to earn that. But anyway, sure enough, though, you can call the company and you just photograph the spot that's missing. And they give your replacement? They sent me two replacement pieces. I'm like, I don't need two. But now they're like, they've labeled me in their system as somebody that loses pieces. Has anybody in a tournament claimed that a piece was missing?

That has happened before. I competed at a competition and we were missing the last piece and it was like a very obvious red piece. They give you a penalty if you're missing a piece, a time penalty. Because sometimes people lose pieces. Of course. They drop them on the floor. They're in the bag or whatever. And so you have a time limit before, like you have to take a maximum penalty that they just add to your time.

And then you can just be done. Is there any way to cheat in doing a puzzle? There probably is a way to cheat. I don't think people really do that. It's pretty sharing-giving community. Mm-hmm. So it's not gotten super cut through. What about drug testing?

They drug test you? Not yet. Is there an age we're puzzling where you kind of fall off? They've started doing senior divisions now for people. like 55 and up. I think there are people above 55 that are still very competitive, but they do have senior divisions. And then for, there's a minimum age that you have to be to be able to compete in the national competition. How minimum, if the best is a 12-year-old. He cannot compete in nationals and individuals, but he can compete as a pair or on a team with adults. I might enter one

of these. What do you think, Ed? Do you want to be on my team? Yeah. Should come. Jigsaw Nationals is this year. Where? Atlanta. Ugh. Sorry. They were in San Diego the last two times And they're moving it around the country Yeah, well I wish I would have gotten in on this a year ago What's your strategy? Walk me through opening a bag of pieces

Okay, so you open the bag, dump it out, take the box Everyone has box stop holders so you can see your picture Dump out all the pieces, flip them over I pull out all the edges and put them to the side Depending on what the image is I'll do the entire border Or sometimes I won't like if it's a collage with like really distinct blocks.

I'll just do the things. And then I just pick out a color or an object or something that speaks to me and do that first. Okay. And you just go really fast. This seems like just the general strategy of all of us that do puzzles. I mean, that's what I do.

But not everyone dumps all the pieces. I mean, when I used to do them, I would like pick all the pieces out of the box and stuff. Oh, I don't, let's go. Let's get going.

All right. Do you get upset when they try to get cute and do new shapes with pieces? So there's random cut and that's like the funny. shaped puzzle pieces and then there's ribbon cut which is when they're kind of more in order. So we always do nationals. We do Ravensburger puzzles which are always ribbon cut and they're really fast. But I do like random cut puzzles. I think they're fun.

I don't like it when they do something cute like with a corner where it's two pieces. Well wooden puzzles too, they do that more. Yeah, wooden puzzles. That's the worst. We only speed cardboard puzzles. Are there breaks during competitive puzzling? No. Or do you have to wear a diaper and just go for it?

Yeah, just go for it. Well, like, the individual competition is a maximum of two hours. Okay. Most of them, even teams, I think, is only, like, three hours or something. I know, but basketball players, tennis players, they all run to the bathroom during? Just need that endurance, man. What's the largest team, number of people? Four.

Four. Oh, man. That's a lot of hands. It is a lot of hands. There's a lot of, we were practicing last night and, like, making sure we stay out of each other's way, and how do you sort the things and how do you pass the pieces and stuff like that? Do people, do people like, like, you're the edge girl. You're the flowers.

We all have, we all have roles. Like, who opens the bag, who puts the box up? Who opens the inner bag? Who does the edge? Who sorts? Do you have a chant? We don't have a chant. Do they ever do puzzles in the tournaments that are provocative images or no?

Are they all, like, just landscapes? No, they, like, bring in specific artists, and sometimes the artists will come to the competitions, which are really cool. We do do landscapes. I personally hate food puzzles, like pictures of food. A couple years ago, Nationals, it was like a super close-up photo of sushi, and it was disgusting. You don't like close-ups of food. Yeah, it's gross looking to me.

I don't want to do that. But usually they're like nice illustrations or something like that. There's been a couple. There's one that was like a bunch of Mandela stones, like a bunch of dots, and that was really hard. So some of them are hard, like, hard and people get, you know, have opinions about it. Do the teams have names? Yes. Oh.

So many, lots of puzzle pun names. Puzzy power? So Yvonne's team is the Golden State Puzzlers. I'm joining their team and we are war in peace. All right. I had a few more for you. Okay. What do you got?

Pazel Toff. Puzzle skills win. Is that a good one? I'm trying to think of other team names. Do you guys have jackets? Most people make like T-shirts and like we're matching T-shirts. Okay. There's a lot of puns.

What's your favorite type of puzzle? I don't know. I like bright colors. Do you do? Yeah. What about like puzzles that? What about like puzzles that are just like? one color the whole thing.

I've done a few. I don't. I'm not a fan. You don't enjoy that. I don't really need to do a super difficult puzzle. Have you ever done a puzzle upside down? As in you can't see the image or as in... Yes, can't see the image.

No. There are people who do that and like practice. Is that like a training mechanism? I don't know. For like piece shape recognition and stuff. What's the worst image to assemble? Ooh, people have a lot of opinions on these. Some people don't like fur.

Usually it's something really dark. I feel like. Night sky. Yeah. When there's just not a lot of gradient and it. It's a lot of solid colors, and then you can't, like, tell any differences with the lighting and stuff. For a while, there's gag gifts. We were taking photos of family members and then having them turned into puzzles and giving them.

Do you have any of those? I do. It's weird to puzzle your own face. Oh. Like, I've gotten a couple. It's kind of weird. You don't like it. Okay.

You're currently ranked number 25 in the nation. How much faster is the topped rank athlete? Ooh. Pretty fast. Like, you know, I can do probably a 500 piece average time is somewhere in like the 47 to 50 something minute range. And the top people do it in like 30 minutes. Okay. Now, is there a scenario though where, listen, the pieces fall right for you that day. Is there a world where you could beat the number one puzzler just randomly, not consistently, but like a single one off? Right now, I don't think so. Not me. Okay. The mean. of sport is pure. That's what I say. Do you guys hang out afterwards and get drunk? How do you celebrate? Do you want to know how we celebrate?

We go and do puzzles. Like, I'm not even kidding. It's the best. We were at a competition this weekend. We all competed, left, and went to like the coffee shop across the street and then just did another puzzle. You do a puzzle to coffee shop. You just take up that much real estate.

We took a whole table off. That is just a jerk move, if you ask me. We took over. I mean, the Wi-Fi is bad enough. But now we got people doing Puzzles? Come on. I just want to have some coffee. I want to scone. This woman's got a thousand pieces set up. We took the whole lobby over at the hotel and just did do people stop you and Marvel at the speed of which things are happening? Like if I'm doing it in a coffee shop. Yeah, the other

day I was doing it in a lobby and these like random people in the hotel were like just watching. Did people start tipping you? No. If you were in a lobby and I saw that I would I would tell my son, hey, go give her 20 bucks. That's pretty awesome. That's something. She's doing it for the joy of puzzling. I know, but I mean, if I see that, like, I'm honest. I think if you set up a table in Venice Beach,

you could straight hustle people. I think people would be into it. You could really make some coin. You could race people, I guess. Yeah. How much do you make in this world? What kind of prize money is there? Oh, only nationals gives monetary prizes.

And it's not a ton of money. I think they tried to give you enough that there's a world competition every year. So I think their goal is to make the prize be enough that it can subsidize your trip if you were to go to a world. But most competitions, when you win, you win a puzzle. Okay. Well, that's, I mean, that's appropriate. You just come home with like bags and puzzles. But what kind of money is the world's like, what are we looking at?

Oh, I don't know how much they make it. A million dollars? No, it's like a few thousand dollars. Oh, okay. Well, that's what I wanted. I wanted to do an answer. There's a few professional puzzling people out there that have, like, YouTube channels. or like run competitions and like they actually make a living off of puzzles but it's like maybe

less than five you know why i like puzzles i don't really enjoy the act i just like when it's being done it makes me feel good because i feel like it's family it reminds me a family time it reminds me the holidays i just think when it's set up on a table i always just i visually like that there's a puzzle being worked on and i like to go by and do a couple pieces that's all i'm at Although my agent, she is the worst. Like, it doesn't compute with her. She's that person that tries to cram pieces that don't fit. They're not even the color.

And I'm like, what's wrong? Maybe she's colorblind. I don't know. You ever do a puzzle with somebody that's just terrible? Yeah, all the time. And I do remember when my kids were little and they, like, would put the edge pieces the wrong way. And I was like, it's really clear that there's a line right here. Like, why aren't you lining them up?

But they were like four, so. Yeah. Do you ever redo a puzzle? Yes. Oh. So speed puzzles redo puzzles a lot to practice and get faster and like try different techniques and stuff like that. But sometimes I just like the image. I'll do them again.

I've never done a puzzle twice in my life. I mean, other than children's puzzles. I don't, I don't, once I've done it, it's like I did it. You don't glue them and hang them up, do you? I do not. Some people do. You see how mad I got? Like I was like scared that you were going to have.

People have like books where they keep them. Maybe if you put it in a book, I could get. my head around thinking that way. And if you're a competitive puzzler, that's also acceptable. Oh, this is so much. What's the largest puzzle you've ever done? Me personally, I did a 9,000 piece puzzle. Oh, that's a real number. It's like two, it's like an underwater scene. What was the dimensions of it? I don't know how to do it on the floor. On the floor. That's kind of sad. I was a lot younger. I didn't have a big table. You just want to, you want to bust into somebody's home and you see a 9,000

on the floor. You're like, oh wow, this girl knows how to party. That's right. We recently had a chess grandmaster on the show who considered himself an athlete. Do you consider yourself an athlete and is jigsaw puzzling a sport? You feel like this is very controversial. Oh. Well, I'm just asking your opinion. This is my personal opinion?

I would not call it a sport. I call it maybe a pursuit. So chess, he considered chess a sport? He did very. And like, is poker a sport? Yeah, I mean, some people, I guess. But I know there's. a lot of people that consider a sport.

I got it. So you're of sane mind. Do people buy you jewelry with a puzzle piece on it? I think I did get my mother-in-law bought me a pair of earrings, I think, with puzzle pieces on it. It was my first piece. But puzzlers like a lot of them. They do. They do. They do. They do. Hair clips and earrings

and necklaces and shoes and dresses. I remember as a child, my brother kind of snapping at my parents because they got him a tie that had computers on it. And he's like, I get it. I like computers. And like it really like put a tone over that Christmas.

Where I was like, all right, we don't buy him anything with computers on. A little bit, beep, boop. They lean into it. They really lean into the puzzle culture. There's like whole companies that sell puzzle paraphernalia and puzzle clothes and puzzle fabric and stuff. If you walk into a toy story with your kids, do you immediately just walk on over to the puzzles? I do. And they like physically.

make barriers between me and the puzzles. Ah, that's just funny. That's just funny. You just like something. What's really funny is that you like it just in the past five years. When most people, the pandemic hit, they learned to do sourdough bread.

Oh, I did that too. As I said, sourdough bread, jigsaw puzzles, sewing, animal crossing, as a total cliche. All the way. It's just delightful. Is your significant other also a puzzler? It's a good name. No, he is not. He's like extremely not a puzzler.

Does he make fun of you about it? No. Okay. No. He's the number four puzzler in our family. Does he teard? Are you allowed to tease or no? Oh. Does he tease you about all the, like, not with all the, by the way, is this potentially like you would stop your career to focus solely on this? Would it ever get to that level or no? Right now, I don't think it's that lucrative, at least not for me. I know, but like, let's just say that money doesn't become the driving factor.

And what I just puzzle? Yeah. Probably. I do that. Launched dragonfly and then move on to puzzling shit. Dragonfly. That's such a long run. Are you going to see that thing through?

That's nine years, ten years. Yeah. So it launches in 2028 as a mechanical engineer, like once it's in space generally, we're kind of done. Oh, you don't check in on it. You don't have like an app where you can just see how she's doing? The thermal people propulsion do, but it will fly for five and a half years and then it's going to land. And so once it lands, we have, we have. We do have work again, or people on my team will have work again, Tub.

I'm a flat earth, so I don't believe any of that. I wish we were flat earthers. Oh, man, imagine how much easier life would be if you were about a... If you actually believe such... There's a wall at the end of this, and that's it. Oh, is it's a wall? They believe it's a wall for it. No, that was a ledge.

No, it's a flip side to the plate. I don't know what we live on. We'll be right back. When not working on planetary robotic, exploration or planning high-impact space missions or solving 1,500 piece puzzles. What does Simi do to unwind? Oh, I'm a big baker. Yeah.

Yeah, so I make, like, very elaborate cakes for my children. Cakes? Mm-hmm. That's fun. Do you have a sweet tooth? Yes. Me too. I love candy.

I don't really love candy. I actually don't really like eating cake, but I really like making cake. I like cake. I don't like icing. It's not great. Iceing is not my thing. Yes, Swiss meringue. You gotta make Swiss meringue.

American buttercream's very sweet. I don't like it. I like naked cakes, like powdered sugar. Call it a day. Nah, that's me. Everybody that's on the show gets some gifts, okay? Just stuff that's at my house. Now, a lot of people know that I like games,

board games and stuff, so they buy me games. But I don't like to play, I don't like to learn new games. Fair. It's just like I'd rather, I'm going to have more fun playing, Monopoly Deal, Rummy Cub, whatever. a handful of games I like. So you're just going to get a lot of my other games. Great.

Oh, wait, I got this. Do your kids hold cards well? Oh. This is, do your kids have one of these? We do have one. And I got another one. Thank you. This is your kids are going to love 1980s music trivia game.

It looks like a cassette. I don't want that. Okay. Pass the pigs. That's a good one. Okay. Oh, you'll love it. What's this?

Throw, throw avocado. I don't know what that is. Not going to learn it. Okay. Some of these I open, but like, what is this? Nerts? Fast, frenzied fun I doubt it

Oh look at that Oh my goodness You kidding me How many decks of cards Are in this game Oh, it's a... If I opened this game up at my house My kids would have all of the cards out immediately

And I would never get them back in their color coordinated boxes It's like it's a simple 12 deck shoot So many decks That's crazy What are you running a casino? Do you gamble? I don't Oh, boring

I know I'm pretty square. It's fine. Wow, this is a lot of games. Did you ever go through it? Five seconds? I know, I don't want these. What is this? Bang? Oh, I don't see. I can't do this because I can't let my kids see anything with guns. Okay. Oh, look at this. Clue. But the Golden Girls Edition. All right. Oh, you're going to love that. You are going to love that. You're going to have

this off my desk because it's getting ridiculous at this point. Okay, then this. Do you have one of these already? Because I can't wait to give it to you. This is an inflatable roll-up puzzle mat. Oh, yes. I used to have one of those. Well, now you have another one. Okay. Okay. My mom got me this. I'm like, mom, I'm like, mom, I'm I'm not like, she's like, wait, you roll it up, say, I'm like, I don't need it. I'll, I'll work around our puzzle. Okay. She wants me to, no, this has to go on the floor. Okay, what you're doing, that's not the floor.

Floor floor, all the way. Yeah, all the way. There's a nightmare. So many games. You're going to love all of those. I hope you wanted to have checked luggage. You want me? I did bring you some stuff.

You want me something? Yeah, but it's. What do you have up here? Better. Simmy, I don't want more stuff that I have to re-give to someone else. This was from the teams competition last year at USAJXA Nationals. That was a teen? Teams.

Oh, teams. Thank goodness. I was like a team. Lake Tahoe, California. Now, that's just beautiful. Now, this is, it's not accurate because this house overlooking Emerald Bay doesn't exist. Okay? So that's, that's bullshit.

No, artistic. But whatever. The geese, and God, I hate these geese. They just shit in your yard all day long. And then my dog just eats poop. I'm like, I can't get them to stop. I'm like, oh, it's just a nightmare. But the bears are fun.

A thousand pacer. Have you done this one yet? Yeah, we did it as part of the competition last year. It's fun. Do you know how long this would take me? You have some time. The answer is a while. We got a bunch of stuff here.

Okay, so then we have a friend named Zach. And he has a company called Zach O Puzzleboards, and he makes, like, really nice. puzzle board so he made you a few things wait wait wait what am I supposed to do with a what's this it's a tiny puzzle board well how so I have to buy a puzzle that fits in this is that a standard size there's mini puzzles in my no but I mean well then what am I supposed to do it and that's glue in here or something no no you just do the puzzle on that board and there's like little puzzles you can do the puzzle on this board this is a dumbest gift I've ever seen

and I bet you a tray and this is a sorting tray so when you're doing all your puzzles and you want to sort your pieces. Okay, this is, now you're giving me junk. These are, like, highly coveted. People really like these. Well, yes, this is cute, but I don't understand. I don't have a puzzle that small. We didn't bring a micro puzzle.

I would keep this for one reason, drywall. Like if I... Oh, yeah, for sure. You don't sort your puzzle pieces when you do your puzzle? Yes, I sort them, but what do I need this for? Like wallpaper? You could, like, put all the tree pieces on there so that you make room. So when you're doing the puzzle, you have places to put all your pieces.

I know, but why don't you just put all the tree pieces in a spot? Or in a frisbee. If you don't have enough space, it depends. If you do a larger puzzle, you might need more space. I have a 12-foot dining room table. Okay. We don't all have very much dining room tables. Okay?

And when you speed-futter, there's only so much, like an individual. I'm not in this for the race. Well, this is nice. Thank you. This is very thoughtful. He made you this. This is a box-top holder for you. A what holder?

A box-top holder. So get your box-top. And then you can slide. Slide it in. How does a box top work just because I don't know. Because I've always thought boxes just stood up fine without anything. Oh. But if it falls over.

Nice and secure for you. That is the most useless thing I've ever. No box falls. What are the, are you guys doing things with? Who's coming by? Like a gust of wind? You can never make you move your arms?

Yes, I've moved my arms. But I'm not, I know where they're going. It's not willy-nilly in my house. Somebody walks by the table fast. This says Toshone. By the way, I love nothing more than beautiful wood.

So this is very thoughtful and I appreciate it. Thank you. I just feel like it's purpose. I think that you're going to use it and you're going to be like, I didn't know what I was missing. You pull that out, people like this guy knows what he's doing. Yeah, especially once I start doing this with people.

And then the little micro puzzle tray? No, that, that, this is, this makes no sense to me. It'll be a soap dish. This is, by the way, this is nice. The guy does good work. Yes. You said he's 12? No.

This is a different person. This is Zach. He has a company called Zach O Puzzle Boards All right, Zach. He makes really nice handmade. You watch Zach's business Skyrocket. What's supposed to go? Oh, this.

Because the box top holder is in there? What do you have over there? Is this what we're actually going to? So then if you wanted to compete, we brought puzzles to race. Yes. Oh, yeah. I'll race.

We can do the Apollo. And this one doesn't have a picture. So maybe, I don't know if you have a preference. I want to see what I'm doing. Okay. I don't have a beautiful mind over here. Can't start. Big pictures.

Oh, oh, God damn. This will be perfect. Watch this, Eddie. This is so much easier now. Oh, yeah, that does help.

You want to go for this? Give me a countdown. You ready? Go ahead, Eddie. Three, two, one. Puzzle. Is this tricky?

Wait a second. It's round? Yeah. I thought it was going to... Oh, you dirty dog. I didn't know it was round. That's just awful. Oh, my goodness.

It's right. It's like a picture. I know, but I thought it was going to still have a square edge. I thought that was just like a circle inside. And there's words. I'm going to have to spell. That's just going to get you. Have you put pieces together already?

This is so embarrassing. Ah, my first piece. First piece. First piece. Second piece. Do you guys announce that? Are you allowed to trash talk? Try to be respectful.

Okay, okay, okay. Oh, like I'm almost done. You can't say stuff like that? People do not generally say that. But there is commentary during the competitions. Guys, I'm starting to cruise now. Oh, holy cow, I'm actually cruising. Oh, man, I feel like you are possibly in trouble in the gift.

Oh, gosh. What is this H? Is that what? Oh, I know what that is. That's not right either. Oh, look, I had two. Oh, those two aren't right. This would be so stressful in competition.

I can definitely see myself. getting mad. Is that right? It doesn't feel like it's right. Mm-hmm. You know what? I'm just going to go at my own pace. Yeah, exactly.

Wait a second. This is wrong. Some of these pieces just fit. No, what is that? I didn't think it would do this. I want to stop. This is just a piece away from being done. Oh, man.

How can that be? The problem is once you start getting embarrassed, you can't function. Right. Oh. Oh, that's not right That's proving That's how it stops

Good job Congratulations, Simmy Look at what I got done Is mine good? The downfall was starting With the edges That was the downfall? Yeah, you gotta start

With the middle On the round puzzles I've never Never seen a round puzzle Yeah, I don't know that I have either Just a two rounds Good for you Do you have to shake hands afterwards?

We do not usually But sure They'll give like high fives and congratulate each other When they lose they congratulate It's not head to head like you're like you'll finish And the people next to you won't be done yet What about the finals? Is the finals not a head to head? I mean it's like a hundred people doing it all at the same time

In the finals? It's not very prestigious to make the finals then Well thank you for being on the show Thank you. Thank you for having me It's very entertaining I appreciate it Good luck to you and y'all see you in Atlanta All right I'll see you there We're a good team for you.

Tos show. I want to thank Simmy for teaching me how to puzzle. Are you like puzzles? That's a yes, if I ever heard one. We got a lot of good plugs today. We have the patreon.com slash toss show. You want to check that out.

My first farewell tour, let me tell you something about this tour. It is mind-blowing to me someplace. where we just have to add show after show and then some places it's like pulling teeth what's going on tuscaloosa get out there and buy some tickets making making jorgia making that's a big market and then i know people are like well why aren't you coming to miami i'm like i was there you missed the show you're in peoria why wouldn't you stop by chicago i was just in Chicago. I'm stuck with Peoria. What else? Toshoshostore.com. Now my favorite. Hit the music.

Turn off the music. It's time for they love me. They love me not. This is where Eddie each week picks a comment from our YouTube page of someone that's a fan reads it to me. I get all excited. Then he picks a negative comment reads it to me. I get upset and we say goodbye. It's a cruel bit. It's a cruel bit. All right, let's do it. They love me. What do you got for me this weekend?

Jeff Sevee 6812. Jeff Sevy? I know him. Yeah. Excellent episode. Very interesting. Tosh is the best interviewer out there. Kudos to everyone involved with this production.

That doesn't put me in a good mood. I don't like it when people who like say thank you to everyone involved. I don't like you guys getting the praise because it goes to your head. And Dylan, Dylan's our people. walking around all cockshore. Do people still say cockshore? I bet. Somewhere.

Dylan, how do you walk cocksure? That's how I walk every day. Just take a look at me. Yeah. No, I mean, it's nice. And am I the best interviewer? Of course I'm not. I'm not the best interviewer.

That's Phil Donahue. Yeah, absolutely. Hands down. Okay? Bill Donahue, Steve Allen. okay and then Magic Johnson that's the three

those are your top three best interviewers of all time Magic Johnson the smile that stole late night I don't remember that kudos by the way kudos to everyone involved remember kudos the candy the granola that was covered in chocolate like a real thin and small

I enjoyed those delicious yeah they had little tiny M&Ms in them right I was a fan of kudos Are they still around? Went out of business. They went out of business? Okay, they still have to have a box. The company still has to have a box through.

Send us an old box of kudos. When did they go out of business? 2017. 2017? All right, so that box is fine. Right. As long as it's not over 10 years old. We're right there.

We're good. Send us a box of kudos. I used to eat those all the time. I was like, oh, I'm eating a granola bar. It was just nothing but chocolate. Okay, that was they love me. Well, I want to thank him for saying such positive stuff about me and the crew here. What do you got for they love me not?

It's from Gatsby myself. Mm-hmm. Tennis is boring. Tennis is boring. That's just all he wrote? Yeah. You doesn't like tennis. Not a fan.

I disagree with you. See you next week.