Tosh Show - My Health

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

Daniel shares the results of his physical, checks in with mom on his family health history, and previews his father-in-law's upcoming surgeries. Join our Patreon for exclusive content: http://patreon....com/toshshow  

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Let me just go ahead and get a... I'm going to go ahead and get a reading real quick. You think this system's accurate? Tosh Show. Welcome to Tosh Show. I'm your host, Daniel Tosh. I am now 51 years old. Now, before I was 51,
Starting point is 00:00:30 I was 50. Slow down. I promised my wife when I turned 50 that I was going to check my health. I was going to go to a doctor. I was going to do all the things that you're supposed to do when I turned 50. And like most things in my life, I pushed it off until a week before I turned 51. Under the wire. But I knew that I would do it
Starting point is 00:01:02 And I did How often Eddie Do you get a physical Twice a year Twice a year? I do You get a physical twice a year I get like one big one every year
Starting point is 00:01:17 A big one What's the difference between the work All the blood work All the you know Check in the butthole And then And then six months later I go back and follow up with blood work
Starting point is 00:01:26 So Eddie goes twice How often you go Pete? Maybe once every two years? Once every two years. Pete's probably a ticking time bomb. You know? Yeah. Here's why I think Pete might be taking time bomb.
Starting point is 00:01:40 One, he's big. He's a big person. Big guy. Everything's big. Big people don't age well. Okay? Two, he bottles everything up. No emotion.
Starting point is 00:01:55 His best day, his worst day are... You can't tell. Who could tell? Hell. Yeah. Where's it going, Pete? It's going somewhere. Eventually, it's going to pop.
Starting point is 00:02:04 I do get chest pain sometimes. I go once every four or five years because I grew up in a family that we never went to the hospital for anything. My mother was a nurse. She could put eyes on things. Unless it was a broken arm, you're like, yeah, you'll be fine in a few days. You know, and to be honest with you, we were blessed with good genes in my family. Not a lot of cancer, not a lot of other health risks.
Starting point is 00:02:34 We all, you know, pretty much have always been healthy. Now, it's given me a false sense of confidence. Anyway, so I agreed to do this, and I did. I went. And I have gone to the same doctor since the day I moved to Los Angeles. I moved to Los Angeles in the late 90s. I was thumbing through a medical book, and I'm like, oh, I should get a doctor in Beverly Hills, because that's probably where the good doctors are.
Starting point is 00:03:07 I was right, you know, I was smart enough as a young kid here, you know, in my mid-20s to get that right. And then I always thought, no matter where I live, I'm going to move around in all these crappy apartments, I'll always, Beverly Hills will always be central. Okay, so I randomly find a doctor and this is my guy. And I went to him and got a physical. And at 25 years old, he checked my prostate. You know, he fingered my butt. And I used to tell a lot of my friends that this happened.
Starting point is 00:03:42 And they were like, what? That's not supposed to happen until you're 40. And I'm like, well, he says I should do it. And he does. And for all of these years, whenever I go in, I get on the bed and he makes me get into like a baby position on my side and he sticks his fingers in and he feels if anything's going on. And one time he pulled his fingers out and I like sat up and he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, there's shit, shit. And I go, what?
Starting point is 00:04:10 Yeah, come on. He goes, he goes, let me give you something to wipe yourself. And I was like, oh, I felt like a victim. And I'm like, you don't, first of all, don't say the word shit. I'm going to say it's a weird word to come out of his mouth. He said, he goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, there's shit there. I'm like, no, just say feces or poop. Anyway, he said shit.
Starting point is 00:04:30 And I never, I never, I've never forgotten him. By the way, we don't have a real relationship other than I see him once every four or so years. He's very thorough, checks everything. He says the same thing every time since I was 25 years old. He's like, your legs are too weak. I shouldn't be able to hold your legs down with one finger as I'm like, well, you train like, he's like into like, you know, UFC fighting stuff. I'm like, well, you're strong.
Starting point is 00:04:57 So anyway, I did it all this year. I went and I had the colonoscopy. There were zero polyps. They gave me a clean bill of health for 10 years. I was like, well, I was thankful. So when I went to him this time, I was like, oh, I wonder if he's going to stick his fingers in my butt this time, even though I just had a colonoscopy.
Starting point is 00:05:20 And if he does, then I'll know that this is probably, probably been wrong. This is weird. Or I was going to ask him not to do it this time. Well, anyway, on his own, he goes, well, you just got your colonoscopy done. I don't need to, I don't need to do that. I'm like, so he has been legit. Right.
Starting point is 00:05:35 That's good to know, right? For 25 years, for 25 years, I wasn't, I wasn't being assaulted. Right. Anyway, he checks my blood pressure. He says, he goes, it's teetering on a little high. He goes, but you might be nervous here, which I am. The whole reason I don't like to go anywhere for is because I don't have the parking. I got to drive.
Starting point is 00:06:00 It's a, it's a hour drive from my house to get to Beverly Hills. I mean, that's blood pressure stuff right there. Anyway, so my blood pressure, he said it was a little high. And I think the number was like 130 over 89. I go, well, where should it be? I'm 51 years old. I was 50 when I went to this appointment. He says, you know, you want it to be closer to 80.
Starting point is 00:06:21 Anything over 90. I got to start talking about putting you on some medicine. I was like, okay. And then I went home and checked it, and it was like 1-24 over 78. I'm like, it's perfect. Right. So now he's like,
Starting point is 00:06:35 well, just check it every a couple times a day and take photos and send it to me with like an emoji saying like smiley face. I'm like, okay. By the way, when we were there, he just kept saying, oh, it says your health insurance didn't go through. Or I go, oh, it's probably something mess up.
Starting point is 00:06:50 I'll have my business manager straightening. out and I just gave my credit card to pay in the meantime right I don't I'm not going to deal with these problems yeah and he's like okay well I'm like I'm not worried about it you charge my credit card 400 bucks I'll be good if that charge lingers for four days but then he's like I wouldn't mind if if your blood pressure doesn't go down well you have to go to this other place it's right near his office and they don't take insurance and he's like but it's about $100. I'm like, I'll spend it. If you think I should go get this tested to make sure that the heart and everything is performing at peak level, I'll go out of pocket $100. I mean, it's just funny
Starting point is 00:07:37 because it's like a Beverly Hills doctor. And he's like, hey, do you have any projects going on? He seemed very worried about my finances, which is also funny because when he, again, I don't have a much of a relationship with him, but he came in and he just unloaded some very very heavy, dark personal stuff. And I was just like, oh, I'm, I was flattered that he felt comfortable, but also I'm sitting in my underwear. You know, I'm just like, well, what? I don't know how to react right now because I'm constantly trying to, like, hold my
Starting point is 00:08:08 stomach in. The history of family illness, I don't know my own phone number, let alone like my grandparents' ailments. Yeah. I have no idea what took out my family. I'm always like, no. Everyone's doing great. They're all dead.
Starting point is 00:08:25 My mom, she's, she was one of four and she's got one sibling left. My dad, one of four has one sibling left. This is how little I do to check my physical well-being. You can imagine how unchecked my mental health is. And I didn't ask him anything about, you know, my IBS. I didn't care. I just, I always just try to say everything. is fine so that I can get out of there.
Starting point is 00:08:54 Yeah. I just want to trick him into saying that I'm fine. In four years. Right. If you hear from him, you're like, great. See you later. Then you feel great. I always feel like they should do a little more to when they say like, do you smoke? Do you drink? And I'm like, no. I don't. Right.
Starting point is 00:09:12 Huh? And then he's like, but he just checks something off. Let me just go ahead and get a I'm going to go ahead and get a reading real quick. you think this system's accurate? I'm always like, oh, what if it just broke and just kept getting tighter and tighter until my arm just, like, snapped off? Like those cool things that they throw over people's heads in those movies,
Starting point is 00:09:34 and they just get tighter and tighter, the wires. Mm-hmm. You ever seen those? Yeah. Look at vein. You see the veins? Oh, man, you got some arm vans. I've got good veins.
Starting point is 00:09:43 I've always had good veins. Well, I mean, good veins for needles. I don't know. You know what I meant. I'm trying to be calm right now, but I don't know if it is. You're going to relax. Put on some enigma. I love Enigma.
Starting point is 00:09:56 It's been a while since I've listened to Enigma. Yeah. Is that Sailorway? Uh-huh. Cail away's Enya, guys, not Enya. Enigma, Sa de Mois. Okay. This is a bad reading.
Starting point is 00:10:08 This says 133 over 83. Now, I wouldn't send them this. No, I wouldn't send it either. You could maybe even doctor or Photoshop. Because that's as high as I've had. Mm-hmm. But, you know, again, There's a lot of stress in here with the lights.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Yes. This is show business. Is 133 over 83 for a 51-year-old, you know, dangerous? Probably not. Should we check Dillans to verify if it's not the machine? Well, what? Is Dillon healthy or not healthy? Well, I mean, you make that conclusion.
Starting point is 00:10:40 Come over here, Dillon. Come sit in this chair. Let me just get a... Let me check. Right arm left, I guess, right arm? I don't give a fuck. Okay. Dylan, how much you had to drink today?
Starting point is 00:10:51 Act like I'm a fucking doctor. Get that up higher. Oh, geez. Hold on. You don't just undo my work. Well, I was trying to get it higher. The way it's 41. Daniel's mom's a nurse.
Starting point is 00:11:07 He knows how to do this. Uh-huh. All right, I think this is. I've never seen arms so stubby. It almost goes down to the wrist. You trying to relax? I'm relaxed. I fucked your wife.
Starting point is 00:11:23 Perfect. Okay. 135 over 80. Is that bad? Well, no. It's right in the wheelhouse of where you should be. That's right. It's exactly where you should be.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Yeah, you 120 over 80 is, I guess, the perfect. But you're, okay, so whatever. And mine was 133 over 83 right there. What, I think. You're not near 90. No. Normally I can be in the, in this, like, high 70s on that bottom number.
Starting point is 00:11:50 And that's the important one, I think. People will tell me that I'm wrong. We'll be right back. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar, our exclusive snack, hydration, and coffee sponsor. What do I like about IQ Bar? Well, for one, there's a lot of variety across their whole lineup. You got protein bars, zero sugar hydration mixes, and mushroom coffee, and a bunch of flavors. IQ Mix, electrolyte hydration sticks.
Starting point is 00:12:19 Okay, you got lemon, lime, blood orange, blueberry pomegranate, peach mango, there's my winner. Passion fruit, Pina colada, there's my backup. Raspberry lemonade and iced tea lemonade. Do you say iced tea or do you say iced tea? I say iced tea. I say iced tea. I don't say iced.
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Starting point is 00:13:08 See terms for details. Tosh! What else? what's an important thing. How do you check your cholesterol? What is my, what's my cholesterol? You're in the normal range. My cholesterol's in the normal range. Yeah. My next question is cholesterol what's the one that's affected by all the sweets that I eat? Yeah, blood sugar. What's my blood sugar at? It says Wonka. Your cholesterol is 162. Anything under 200 is good. My cholesterol is 162. So my cholesterol is, would you say my cholesterol is great? I can't.
Starting point is 00:13:48 I can't say that. Oh, you sure you could have. Okay, my cholesterol is 16. Your glucose is 88, so you're still within the normal range. And that, that's, 65 to 99. Wait, wait, hold on. So my blood sugar, my glucose, what is it at? Glucose is 88.
Starting point is 00:14:07 The normal range is 65 to 99. 65 to 99. So you're saying that I can have a few more sweets. Yeah, wouldn't hurt you. Wouldn't hurt me. Wouldn't hurt you. That's coming. from a guy that didn't know how to read your blood pressure.
Starting point is 00:14:21 I ran the numbers through chat, GPT. Uh-huh. Says the only, it gives you an A-minus for overall. A-minus? A-minus, my friend. I've never been an A-person in my life. Well, you are. I've been a B-minus C-plus guy.
Starting point is 00:14:33 You're an A-minus. Okay. Says, uh, the only area they'd paid attention to it is optimizing HDL, good cholesterol, and possibly getting LDL a little lower if you're interested in maximizing long-term cardiovascular health. What does that mean? I don't know. Who wouldn't be interested in long-term cardiovascular health?
Starting point is 00:14:52 But does that mean that I experience shortness of breath? Because I get that occasion. That might be one or a minus. Okay. I feel like this is all, this is all positive, guys. This means the podcast continues. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:03 Do I, can any of these numbers indicate that I'm like above and off the spectrum? Do you want to be off it? Maybe they could. I want to be, I'm like, like where I'm seeing things or hearing things, things that other people don't notice.
Starting point is 00:15:20 Right. Because I've always believed that I have an ability. Have you heard me say this before, Eddie? Say it, let me hit, I'll let you know. I've always had the ability my entire life. Is this street lamps? Yes. Yeah, I have heard this.
Starting point is 00:15:35 You've mentioned this. Okay. I can shut off street lights with my mind. Uh-huh. My whole life I've been able to do this. So that's like a different doctor you go see. It's so dumb that it's one of these things that I was like when I die if there's this afterlife It's the only thing I was gonna ask like Hey were you shutting off streetlights like as a way to talk to me?
Starting point is 00:16:03 Because my whole life. I've noticed street lights going off like the big ones the big telephone poles right lights like I noticed those Almost every night of my life one of them if I'm driving someplace one of them turning off. That's something. Yeah, that's right. That's what I always thought. Like, I'm a possible wizard. Dumbledore does that.
Starting point is 00:16:25 I mean, that's pretty good. Yeah, whatever. The darkening stick. It's the only thing. I don't, I always thought, you want me to tell you the, here's what I've always told myself is that I'm just hyper aware
Starting point is 00:16:44 of my surroundings and everyone else experiences this too, but they just don't clock it. And I do. You're hypervigilant. I'm just hyper vigilant and I just see it and other people don't notice it and don't think anything of it. And it's just been, I've made it a thing that now when every time a street light goes off, I'm so aware of it. That's how I've justified it. Yeah, that's trauma. But you don't feel like you're causing them to go off. Sometimes I feel like I'm, uh-huh. Sometimes I feel like I can stare at the lights and make one go off.
Starting point is 00:17:16 That's good. And you're a wizard. I don't know if that has anything to do with my LDL. We don't know that it doesn't. You know what, though? I'm glad I shared it. Because if you put this on the episode, there may be one or two people in the comments section.
Starting point is 00:17:31 He's like, motherfucker, I was just listening to this podcast, and my whole life, I've been like, I can shut off street lights. This is like the beginning of an A-24 film. I'm going to ask my mom if my levels are fine. Hey, Daniel. Quick question. Yes.
Starting point is 00:17:49 What's your blood pressure? I don't know. What should mine be? I don't know. They say lower and lower is good. They used to say 140 over 80 was normal. Then they said 120 is best over 60. And your lower number shouldn't be above 100, I don't think.
Starting point is 00:18:11 But if you take it five or six times a day, it'll be different every time. You go into the doctor's office and you're kind of uptight about it and it shoots way up. I mean, it's called white coat syndrome. Yeah. Yeah. My doctor doesn't wear a white coat, but I certainly, mine spite. Mine is around 1.30 over 80. That's good.
Starting point is 00:18:38 That's nothing wrong with that. Some people check there's all the time. And you can check it. I remember one time I had to check mine because they said it was high. I was there and I would check it throughout the day and it would be different every time. So I just put the lowest ones down. That's all I do. We're the same person.
Starting point is 00:18:56 I check mine all day long and I only record the ones that are low and good. That's what I did. You know, and they always ask you, do you have a history of anything? And I always just answer no. But do we have a, do I have a history of anything that I should worry about? I don't think so. I don't think so. You know, nobody died from cancer or heart disease.
Starting point is 00:19:17 I mean, maybe they did, but they didn't know it. You know, my dad, I mean, they didn't. I mean, they died when they were older, but my dad had a brain tumor, but they never said it was cancer or anything. Grandpa Tosh had something. But, you know, she lived, Grandma Tosh lived in 99. I don't know. It's hard to say.
Starting point is 00:19:39 How old was your dad? 81. And how old are you? 80. Oh, man. What are you going to do for your final year? I don't know. I'd be happy and enjoy it and look forward to heaven above.
Starting point is 00:19:57 What about cholesterol? Do I need to worry about my cholesterol? I don't. Mine's always been real high. They asked me what my dad's was, and I said, my dad never checked his cholesterol. This is so hard to know what your other people's are. But now they say cholesterol,
Starting point is 00:20:15 you know, they used to put people on the anticholesterol medicine. They wanted to put me on it at one time because mine's always been high. And I thought, well, if I was really overweight or uncomfortable or in pain or something, but I had no symptoms. And I said, I'm not taking, and then you take it for the rest of your life. And I said, I know people with cholesterol medicine that have trouble from the medicine. What about arthritis? He says my hip's a little.
Starting point is 00:20:45 bad and I got some early arthritis in my knees. Everybody does. Yeah. Yeah. So don't worry about it. Just keep living. Just keep moving it though. I mean, don't sit around.
Starting point is 00:20:58 You got to move. I play hard. It's good. I'm carrying a kid all day long. All right, good talk. We're good. Everybody's good. You're okay.
Starting point is 00:21:06 Everybody's good. Have a nice trip. Okay. Love you. Love you. Bye. Bye. Guys.
Starting point is 00:21:13 Clean bill of health. They didn't have diseases. Yeah. They just died. Just died. My age labeling. My grandpa, uh, you just had a big old huge tumor in his head. Wasn't cancer though.
Starting point is 00:21:27 One, no. You can't diagnose that. Yeah. Everything I said was exactly what she said. Yeah. We're basically the same person. Oh, yeah. Almost like she made you.
Starting point is 00:21:38 It's funny because my wife says that my daughter, who, uh, you know, will throw these fits. And she's like, well, that's exactly. exactly what you do and I'm like oh we're just creating the same people over and over exactly what you do I can't get my daughter to do anything like if I say I'm like hey she's like she wants a snack I'm like oh just say please and then she just shows she just like won't you're like the fuck it I don't I don't want a snack it's like I'm like just say please and I'll hand you anything you want to eat and she's like you're not going to fucking make me say please so good I love it.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Just right in my, it's the rudest thing ever. I'm like, just say please. And then I, now there's been a line drawn and I'm not letting go. And she's just like,
Starting point is 00:22:25 look at me and she'll start just crying. And then my wife comes in like, what's wrong? I'm like, she wants a snack. And I said she can have anything. She just has to say please and she won't say please. And then my wife is like, just say please.
Starting point is 00:22:38 And she fucking, ah, fuck you too, bitch. Like, that's so funny. We'll be right back. Now, I know some people, especially in these rich communities, you get the annual full body scans. But I've always been told that that's also has a negative effect
Starting point is 00:23:03 because you start getting tested for things that you shouldn't be tested for. You get stressed out about cancers and that has a negative effect on you. I don't know what the answer is. What about the eye test? Because my pediatrician does that with my kids a lot. Right. Like a lot of times they'll be like in a low percentile on something and I'm, you know, am I, should I be worried?
Starting point is 00:23:27 And she's like, your kids look great. And then I'm like, oh, good. So you can't just eyeball a human and go, you look fine. Because I feel like, whatever. Uh-huh. I look fine. I feel fine. I mean, I'm, you know, I should be stronger.
Starting point is 00:23:39 He wants me to start doing strength training. Uh-huh. I'm not going to do it. I'm going to do what I do. I'm going to row. I'll surf and eat better. I wouldn't say I eat hor. horrible. Sure I have the sweet tooth, but I'm eating
Starting point is 00:23:53 quality food for the most parts. I don't eat red meat. I don't eat caffeine. I don't smoke. I don't drink. I'm not saying that I, and I don't want to live forever. He did say, okay, here are some of the negatives. Okay. It says that I have, you know, a little bit of arthritis building up in my knees. I need to get my strength up more. I'm like, well, then will the arthritis go away? And he's like, I don't know what he said. I also can't retain the information.
Starting point is 00:24:25 Can you write this down for me? I'm sure. Well, that's the thing. He's always like, well, just go home and log into your portal. And I go, I don't do portals. I don't know how to do. I don't know how to, I got to create a password to get into this system. It's not that hard.
Starting point is 00:24:40 You could do it. No. I've never once logged into my portal. I've had a portal for as long as they've had those. I've never once logged into it. I have no idea what it says about me. And anyway, so yeah, and I can make my ankles crack. And he's like, that's probably, that's arthritis.
Starting point is 00:24:56 That's not good. But I'm like, what do I do? And then he's like, you have one hip that's kind of bad. And I'm like, oh, yeah, now you say that, my leg doesn't bend the same way on that size and the other side. Feels like something's up. No, I mean, am I going to get a hip replacement? No.
Starting point is 00:25:11 They seem, well, but they do those constantly and they seem like they've gotten really good at it. Mm-hmm. I had a pee in the cup. Yep. And I learned something from my mother as a child. She's like, don't give them the first pee. Again, this could be wrong. So pee a little into the toilet and then pee into the cup and then stop and then pee the rest into the toilet.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Like don't give them the end pee and the beginning pee, she always said. The middle. Just the middle pee. Yeah, I do that too. You do that as well? Yeah. Oh, everyone does that? Yeah, I think it's.
Starting point is 00:25:45 Angel share. No. you don't do it you give you have just all of it I've never heard that well are you going to real doctors Dylan well they don't tell you how to pee in the cup my doctor tells me to do that our doctor says that oh my my mom used to tell me to do that and I bought it always stuck with me who's the healthiest person here would you say between the four of us
Starting point is 00:26:07 I think it's Dylan you think it's Dylan no way me or Pete what pretty healthy you're crazy Dylan or Pete healthy I think we're healthy I think we All knows not John. You're nuts. John's a dead. John's a dead. John's a... John's a...
Starting point is 00:26:22 John is a temple. John is a dead man walking. You're nuts. It doesn't matter about being healthy if you're just stricken with bad luck, okay? You're gonna... One region is stricken with bad luck. Yeah, you're like...
Starting point is 00:26:36 You're nuts. No, something's crazy going on with you, John. I'll put my labs and portal against anyone's here. If you can hack into my portal, by all means. In the mainframe. Okay. But you don't... You don't get mad about this, John.
Starting point is 00:26:48 No, no, I think, I think John is the, is, is probably, is probably the ticking time. But that's what I kept telling him. I go, I go, I just wanted you to not look at my results and go, oh, you're a ticking time bomb. And he didn't. So I was like, all right, then I'm fine. When? Who's got the most family shit? That's the real question.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Hmm? Probably me. Probably John. Hmm. And that's, to me, that's the one. you have to be scared of. But I do like that no one thinks I'm the healthiest. And I agree.
Starting point is 00:27:23 I don't think I would pick me as the healthiest either. But in my head, I'm always like, well, that's not going to happen to me. You know, when people always say, that's not going to happen to me? Uh-huh. I actually believe it. Here's a celebrity name drop. Laird Hamilton. Hello.
Starting point is 00:27:40 He, you know, the fittest man alive. Right. gets has hip surgery two days later is out paddle boarding he one time told me that he's like you need to work out to exhaustion before you go surfing every time i'm like what never in a million i'll die i'll die in the ocean why i don't know oh there's no reason that's what i don't understand that's what i don't understand about anyone if you're not a professional athlete i don't understand why anyone is trying to get better at anything. When it comes, hear me out.
Starting point is 00:28:19 I mean. Good. Like, why, why my in-laws take tennis lessons? There's no more joy because instead of 49 miles an hour, he got his serve up to 51 miles an hour. Do you get where I'm going? Like, what is the growth that they've experienced since they've taken lessons? It's right.
Starting point is 00:28:41 It can't be as fast as the, the downward trajectory of their physical bodies. If you're not a professional athlete, I don't really understand why you're trying to get better. I'm not trying to get better when I go surfing. I just enjoy surfing. Right. I catch waves.
Starting point is 00:28:59 I ride away. I'm not like, oh, man, I got to really work on this trick that I haven't been able to land. You know, I'm not going to go out at night and put up a hundred three-pointers before I go to bed. Just in case. It's like there's no reason at this point. I'll shoot when the ball's passed to me, you know, immediately.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Yeah. The ball's going up. I'll put it up. I'm not practicing, but I'm going to put the shot up. I guarantee you that. What happens, happens. I've always thought I could just work out real hard for six months and I could get in the best shape of my life.
Starting point is 00:29:34 I probably should do it because I know my wife, Carly, she would freak out if my body got good. Right. And that'd be a neat gift to give her. That is a nice gift. My brother did it. We had the exact same body, our whole lives. And then he turned it on hardcore working out for a few years.
Starting point is 00:29:54 And like, he's strong now. Yeah. And once you get strong, you kind of stay strong. Yeah. I feel like once you get that body type, you're kind of like, okay, now your arms are just bigger forever. That could be wrong. He could beat you up. No.
Starting point is 00:30:11 See? He might say that he could, but like I just have always had another gear that he didn't possess of hatred. I think I could still get my brother too. He's younger, a little bigger, he just, I think I could get him. Yeah. I mean, I would do things that my brother wouldn't be quite ready for. Right. He doesn't realize that I'm not afraid to like dive, like headbutt into his nose.
Starting point is 00:30:36 Yes. And just end the fight right away. You had to be a crazy person a little bit. That's the problem of fighting. You have to be willing to go to a 10 the second it starts. Yeah, we're not going to like ease into this fight. You know whose health I worry about, though, in my little father-in-law. Okay.
Starting point is 00:30:54 So we just got back from this trip, but I had, we had to part ways for the summer because he's got to get a slew of stuff. Mm-hmm. You can call that old man. Yes, sir. Hey, quick question about list all the surgeries you have coming up. So I'm getting my colonoscopy Friday. And then July 6th is my left knee surgery.
Starting point is 00:31:22 And then probably August or September is both. My eyes are having cataracts removed. That's it. Wait, what's your, tell me right now what your blood pressure is. Right now? What do you think it is? You had a guess. One 10 over 70, something like that.
Starting point is 00:31:42 Not a, not a chance. That's a complete lie. Why? No, there's no way it's 110 over 70. It's going to be 140 over 90. No way. Why am I getting excited? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:57 It's Tammy's birthday? No, no, no. I just... I take blood pressure. You take blood pressure? It keeps my BP way down. Way down. Holy cow.
Starting point is 00:32:08 What's your cholesterol? Do you know that? Yeah. It's all good except for my... H.DL is high, and I take a medicine for that. Eddie, do I need to do anything for my HDL, or was it okay? No, that was good. My HDL was good?
Starting point is 00:32:21 LDL was a little. My LDL was a little questionable. Your LDL fine? Yes, I think so. How, uh, what are you thinking? How many more years you think you've got? To live? Yep.
Starting point is 00:32:33 To live? 20? 20? Oh, that's a good run. That's a good run. Yeah. All right. Good talk.
Starting point is 00:32:40 I'll talk to you later. All right, man. Thanks. that's interesting right yeah so he's got medicine to knock his way down because when he said those numbers i sound like he's dying slow but also for a 70 year old it seems like it's okay as long as you are not dizzy and all those things and he's taking the medication so okay the thing that i want people to take away from this is that you're only given one body okay and treat your body like a temple yeah there you go
Starting point is 00:33:11 If you were dealt a bad hand, fold. Just light that temple on fire. I'm just trying to mix a bunch of cliches up here. It's a game of inches, guys. It's a game of inches. At any given Sunday, you could die. I think that sums it up. I think I'm good to go for another five years.
Starting point is 00:33:33 What could possibly go wrong? I want to apologize to Matt Damon. We didn't have time for him tonight. How about you, Carl Carl is the epitome of great health. Yeah, look at them. Oh, my goodness. You can't tire him out, right?
Starting point is 00:33:54 Let's do our plugs. Patreon.com slash toss show. If if toss show doesn't give you enough, there's a little extra there for you. Because so many times when I finish an interview, I'm like, woo, that was a lot of meat on the bone. I hate to get rid of it. So you don't.
Starting point is 00:34:14 No. The whole buffalo over here. We repackage it. My first farewell tour is going amazing. Guys, go to the calendar, find a city near you, and then purchase tickets. There you go. That easy. Then resell those tickets night of the show.
Starting point is 00:34:36 Good idea. Okay. Then send me an email saying, hey, fuckhead, you cost me 50 bucks. Toshoshostore.com. I need to get a bunch of those Carl shirts. I'd like to give those out occasionally to people. What do you think, Carl? You think we should give a few away?
Starting point is 00:34:55 You know what that music means, Carl? It's time for they love me, they love me now. What do you got? This is from at MBJ. I like the Tosh created a podcast just to clean out his house. Is that Michael B. Jordan? I mean, man, it could be.
Starting point is 00:35:07 I definitely created this to get rid of stuff. it is so nice every week looking around my house going what am i going to get rid of but my kids now say out loud constantly like don't give this away dad that's funny they can tell when i'm on the hunt when i'm on the hunt for a gift they're like oh dad no no don't don't come in my room it's in the room looking at things they're like oh no yeah oh that's good yeah all right it's good to they love me not that's always my favorite kung fuck canobi hmm i like them already Tosh meets a self-centered California and blames Trump. Sorry, bud.
Starting point is 00:35:45 You guys were like that before. Are you talking about my road rage incident and how I profiled somebody into knowing that they were a Trump supporter? Okay. Just because California is this liberal haven doesn't mean that we are void of you, Magadip Shits. I'd like to point out that the state of California had six hundred. million people vote for Trump. And, you know, that's not even close to enough to win, of course, but that's six million people. Pick your red estate, Alabama. Alabama only had this is, I know this off the top of my head because of, uh, uh, I've had this argument before.
Starting point is 00:36:33 1.4 million people in Alabama voted for Trump. So I'm just letting you know, six million here. year. We have way more piles of shit than Alabama. Yeah. Four times. Huh? Number one in the country. We're number one again. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, suck on that for a bit. See you next week.

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