Tosh Show - My Little Ballerina - Brianna Abruzzo

Episode Date: January 28, 2025

Daniel straps on his pointe shoes for a conversation with ballet dancer Brianna Abruzzo about intense training, growing up in NYC, and broken toenails.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy informati...on.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The Indicator is a podcast where daily economic news is about what matters to you. And we're guessing most days, that's money. Workers have been feeling the sting of inflation. So as a new administration promises action on the cost of living, taxes, and home prices... The S&P 500 biggest post-election day spike ever. Follow all the big changes and what they mean for you. Make America affordable again. Listen to The Indicator from NPR
Starting point is 00:00:27 on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get podcasts. Catch Jon Stewart back in action on The Daily Show and In Your Ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. From his hilarious satirical takes on today's politics and entertainment to the unique voices of correspondents and contributors, it's your perfect companion to stay on top of what's happening now. Plus, you'll get special content just for podcast listeners, like in-depth
Starting point is 00:00:51 interviews and a roundup of the week's top headlines. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts, the untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, vice president of client strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host, Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts with Justin Herbert,
Starting point is 00:01:26 Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tula Tunga-Vaioloa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athlete's First Family podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse, and now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys,
Starting point is 00:01:46 I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes
Starting point is 00:02:05 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Did you ever like a black swan that had to rip your own toenails off? No, thank God. You've never done that? No, but they have fallen off, while on point. I heard it crack.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's disgusting. Yeah, I know. Tosh Show! Tosh Show! Tosh Show! Welcome to the Hoedown.
Starting point is 00:02:29 I'm your host, Daniel Tosh. Let's get it going. If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine. If you think your cousin's sweet, you're a fine grabber where the sun don't shine. If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine, you're a fine grabber where the sun don't shine. If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine, you're a fine grabber where the sun don't shine.
Starting point is 00:02:37 If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine, you're a fine grabber where the sun don't shine. If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine, you're a fine grabber where the sun don't shine. If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine, you're a fine grabber where the sun don't shine. If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine, you're a fine grabber where the sun don't shine. If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine, you're a fine grabber where the sun don't shine. If you think you're such a fine grabber where the sun don't shine, you're a fine grab her where the sun don't shine.
Starting point is 00:02:45 If you think your cousin's sweet, then you can euligrophy. Oh man, it's good to be back Ed. How are ya? I'm good, how are you? Good man, I'm doing great! Before I start the show, Eddie, I want to say congratulations to the Michigan Wolverines for kicking the dog shit out of the national champion Ohio State Buckeyes. Yeah. That's got to feel good, right?
Starting point is 00:03:13 You win the national championship and then Michigan has to be like, yeah, well we beat you. Badly. Woo. Do you hear that we were an answer on Jeopardy? I did hear this. Oh man, it was a, just ask spindly comedian Daniel a load of,
Starting point is 00:03:33 I guess it was a load of tosh. By the way, spindly, that's not a compliment, but you're allowed to throw those adjectives around when it's a thin person. You think, had I been tipping the scales the other direction, they would have been like, just ask this fat fuck. He's this portly comedian.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Oh, portly, that would have been better than, yeah, they probably wouldn't have put fat fuck. They probably would have went portly. But you get it, inappropriate. Nah, whatever. You know, we're in trying times Here in SoCal. I'm gonna start saying SoCal at all times. Yeah, everybody's uh Getting back to their new normal, you know every time I leave To go somewhere whether it's a store or work. I always uh, I always sneak out of the house.
Starting point is 00:04:27 I don't say goodbye. Slipping out. Well, you say goodbye, people always think, oh, what if that was the last time you saw your family? And that would make me want to give a more genuine goodbye. But the reality is, if I actually say goodbye to my children, that would make me want to give a more genuine goodbye. But the reality is if I actually say goodbye to my children, then for the next 15 to 30 minutes, they're whining, crying, holding on to me,
Starting point is 00:04:58 don't leave, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, I can't get anything done. So what do I do? Instead of saying goodbye to my loved ones? I always just quietly disappear That's how I leave my house every day. Yeah, it's just not worth it any other way by the way I mean speaking of my family You know, I have conversations with my son every day.
Starting point is 00:05:25 And you know, he's getting older and his vocabulary is getting better. But for some reason, the other side of the family, my in-laws, they can't wrap their head around the fact that I'm talking to him. Like my father-in-law, I'll ask my son like, oh, what are you watching? And then my father-in-law will tell me, my son like, oh, what are you watching? And then my father-in-law will try to be,
Starting point is 00:05:46 oh, we're watching this Sea Beast movie. I'm like, I'm not talking to you. The other day, they had this Lego toy and it was like a little Formula One car. And I said to my son, I go, well, where does the driver sit? And immediately, Greg, my father-in-law goes, oh, they sit right there. And I just looked at him, like, what?
Starting point is 00:06:08 You don't think I fucking, you don't think I don't know where the driver sits in the car? I'm just trying to have a conversation with a five-year-old. They just get so excited that they know the answer to something. That's what it is. So they just immediately chime in.
Starting point is 00:06:22 That's great. No, what'd you do today, buddy? Oh, we went to the park. Oh, okay. You went to the park, thanks. 70 year old. You gotta start saying your son's name before you ask the questions, maybe.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Okay, Eddie, you're right. So when I start teasing them about constantly answering the questions that were meant for a child, he says, my son says to me, well dad, you should say my name first, that way they know not to answer. He's like, he's already got it. So that's what I'm gonna do.
Starting point is 00:06:56 Unbelievable. I'll tell you what, I wish I could trade in-laws with today's guest. They're good people. But you guys are in for a treat today because today's guest, this is a world that I've always been fascinated by to a creepy level. Enjoy. The Indicator is a podcast where daily economic news is about what matters to you. And we're guessing most days that's money. Workers have been feeling the sting of inflation. So as a new administration promises action on the cost of living, taxes and home
Starting point is 00:07:30 prices, the S&P 500 biggest post-election day spike ever, follow all the big changes and what they mean for you. Make America affordable again. Listen to the indicator from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get podcasts. Ever wonder what it's like to be on the phone with an NFL general manager as you finalize the biggest contract in NFL history? I'm AJ Stevens, vice president of client strategy at Athletes First, where we've negotiated $1.4 billion in current NFL quarterback contracts.
Starting point is 00:08:01 Introducing the Athletes First family podcast, the quarterback series. Along with my co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, we're pulling back the curtain on how these historic deals come together. You'll hear directly from the agents who shaped the NFL's financial landscape, the ones who negotiated Justin Herbert's extension and Deshaun Watson's fully guaranteed contract that sent shockwaves through the league. This isn't just about the numbers though, it's about the untold stories behind these massive negotiations and the relationships the NFL superstars like Dak Prescott, Tua Tunga-Valliloa, and Jordan Love have with their agents at Athletes First. For the first time ever, the agents who orchestrate these deals are sharing the details of the
Starting point is 00:08:40 negotiations and everything that led up to their clients signing on the dotted line. Listen to the Athletes First Family podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buck wild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chow.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Titanic. Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey y'all, this is Reed from the God's Country podcast. We had the one and only Bobby Bones in the studio this week, and we cover everything
Starting point is 00:09:53 from his upbringing to his outdoor experiences with the stepdad, Arkansas Keith, to the state of country music. We may even end the episode with a little jam session led by Bobby himself. Y'all be sure to listen to this episode of God's Country with Bobby Bones on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Don't go shopping to Target with khaki pants and a red shirt on. Don't go shopping to Target with khaki pants and a red polo shirt on. Switch up song ready.
Starting point is 00:10:26 Oh, that's good. That's, that's, that's, that's, that's, yeah. An old lady came up to me. She said how much for this cream of wheat? My guest today is more flexible and has better balance than anyone we've ever had on the show. If you love singing and dancing in Production so long there's an intermission then you will love her jazz hands everybody as we welcome to the show Actors singer dancer, but first and foremost a ballerina
Starting point is 00:10:57 Brianna hello. Did you like that intro? I loved it. Thank you. How'd you sleep last night? I slept so well Yeah, she slept in the airstream guys Luxury. Your last name a bruise. Oh, that's Italian right? Yes You grew up in New York I did did you say I'm walking here no you never screamed I'm walking here. My son says it now. It makes me laugh. That's amazing. He loves to walk in here But I do have a good New York accent you do and you only turn it on just whenever You're there whenever I want. Mm-hmm. That's so bad It really is a horrible accent terrible. I used my guy cool has a big accent your dad. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, but I'll get it. I'll get into your father later
Starting point is 00:11:40 Well, I've always fine found him fascinating, you know, he was a man that, you know, was it all stocks? Is that all? Yeah, he's a mathematician. Just insider trading, tons of illegal stuff going on. I hope not. No? Nobody, like just figured the market out.
Starting point is 00:11:58 He was a mathematician, I don't think I knew that. He has a brilliant math mind. Yeah. Yeah. Well, guys, if you wanna hate your life, like just made a ton, got to 40 and said, I'm done. I'm not going to work ever again. Retired at 42, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Well, I'm 49. I'm still working as you can tell, but who has more money, me or your father? You. Do I? Yeah. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Oh, thank God I can quit. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. No I? Yeah. Are you sure? I'm pretty sure. Oh thank god I can quit. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. No you don't. I do. Do you really? Yeah. Oh god you're a dingbat. Do you have proof? I just believe they're real. Okay. Yeah. But why? Why wouldn't they be real? Oh god. I don't think it's on you to prove that they are real, not me to prove that something that doesn't exist does. Energy cannot be destroyed once it's created. I like the statement, energy cannot be destroyed. That is a load of tosh if I've ever heard it right there.
Starting point is 00:12:58 You know the joke, I used to always pretend way before I was ever married, way before I even was dating my wife, that I would tell people that I had a ballerina Wife. That was my joke. I have always had a fascination with ballet. Okay. Okay I don't know. I don't know where it came from. The thing is I've never been to the ballet Is that weird too? Okay. Hold on. I've never been to the ballet I also think it's one of these things that if I go I'm gonna have like an emotional
Starting point is 00:13:25 Yeah reaction like I'm gonna sob like it's gonna affect me, but if it doesn't then I'm like well That was fucking stupid. I shouldn't have gone I think you should go to Paris or Russia and see the ballet there I'm not going to Russia, and then you will sob you kidding me. I've already I've made jokes about Putin There's no chance. I ever get on a plane to Russia. Okay, so go to the Paris Opera Ballet and then... Have you been to Russia? No. No, don't go to Russia. No.
Starting point is 00:13:48 I'll go to a ballet in Paris. That's a great idea. Yeah. Do you like Paris? I do. I do too. Yeah. I don't know, there's just something, there's something so, I think the mystique of ballet, so, you know, it's sad and depressing and beautiful.
Starting point is 00:14:02 So much pain goes into it and it's just. I mean, I don't even know what, yes. I guess maybe my perspective from watching movies and the portrayal of what you guys go through, that I just, I'm fascinated by it. Well, thanks. Just so I'm aware, are The Nutcracker and Swan Lake the only ballets?
Starting point is 00:14:20 No. I've never heard of any others. You heard of any others? My favorite is Serenade. Serenade. Yeah, you have to see it. I'm gonna see, have others. You heard of any others? My favorite is Serenade. Serenade. Yeah, you have to see it. I'm gonna see, have you seen Serenade, Eddie? No, I've never heard of it. Okay. How does ballet work? Like, how do I know what's going on? Is there dialogue? No dialogue, but there's pantomime. Are you good at that? It's not like a set language that you can be good at. Well, do they teach you? Yeah, it's choreography that you learn. But every pantomime and every different ballet
Starting point is 00:14:47 is different. Are you amazing at charades? Pretty good. I mean, you sing too. Have you sang your whole life? Yeah, I have actually. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:57 Like, you can sing some of these answers if you'd like, just so I get like a sampling of how musical theater works. Okay. Ah ha ha. When did you start ballet? just so I get like a sampling of how musical theater works. Okay. Oh. When did you start ballet? When I was three, but I hated it. You hated it at three? Yeah, mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:15:13 My teacher was really mean, very strict. Why would you have a mean teacher at three? Seems so counterproductive to the sport. She was Russian. Did your mother let you quit or did she force you to continue? I had to finish out the year. Yeah, it's weird how parents have that.
Starting point is 00:15:28 My wife tried to do that with my son because he wanted to stop playing tee ball. And he's like, I don't want to play, I just want to get the trophy. And I'm like, buddy, I say we quit and we show up for the last game and we get the trophy. I had no issue with his plan. And then I was scolded for bad parenting. So your mother made you finish out the year. And then when did you get back into it? When I was nine.
Starting point is 00:15:48 Oh, is that late? Eight. Eight, actually. Eight? Is that late? No, it's not late, but that was a pretty big gap. To be taken seriously? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:57 And my sister actually went to the School of American Ballet. Was she a good dancer? She was. But you were so much better than your sister, right? Yeah. Were you immediately better than her? She's fine, she's got a great sense of humor. Yeah, well she stopped after two years.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Because the writing was on the wall that she was cumbersome? No. She just, she pursued figure skating actually. Oh, that's right. Yeah, which I can't do, so. Yeah, you went to a fancy high school. Your mother ripped you, ripped you from regular school
Starting point is 00:16:31 and said you are gonna go to this fancy school in New York City. But what were the rules? I wanted to go there, but. Oh, of course you did. It probably cost a fortune. Probably. And you didn't have to take any tests
Starting point is 00:16:42 and you could miss school constantly? I had to take tests you did Yeah, do you know simple math? barely What's seven times seven? 49 is it? Yeah. Yeah. What's the square root of 144? Let's see nine Twelve oh one far off By the way, how was this high school bullshit? It was great. It was actually like the only way I could go get a real education while
Starting point is 00:17:10 Training in for ballet how horrible is training for ballet? It's really intense how many hours a day as like when you're in your your what you will be is this okay to say are you? past your peak For ballet I would say I'm past my peak. Okay. Well, I don't wanna insult you. I'm also not trying to be a prima ballerina right now. Right, okay.
Starting point is 00:17:31 So when you were in your peak, how much training is involved in hours a day? So your last few years of high school, you have class at 10.30 and then another one at 2.30 and then you have rehearsals in the afternoon and potentially a performance of some sort. Well, how many hours a day are you doing dance or related things?
Starting point is 00:17:51 Three to five or six. Three to five, three to five, six hours, that doesn't seem that hard. I mean, if you love it. Yeah. I wanna surf three to six hours a day when I was in high school. Nobody's freaking out over my work ethic.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Yeah. No, I'm not impressed. But then when you're working, you're dancing eight. Seven days a week? Six, yeah. What's the average career length of a professional ballet dancer? From about 18 to 35.
Starting point is 00:18:24 That seems pretty good. Can't really complain. Why do you guys always complain? How often did you have to buy shoes? Pointe shoes? Depends how much you dance, but a lot of dancers use one a week or one a show. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:39 What do they cost, a good pair of pointe shoes? $125. And they're not provided by the company? They're provided by the company, yeah. Okay. What age do you start on point at my school? We start at 12? Okay, and we do like one year of just like Simple relevés at the bar like a whole year just to gain ankle strength. Were you strong on point? Yeah By the way, are your feet all messed up like everyone?
Starting point is 00:19:00 You got a bad toe I do like a grandpa Kind of you know, I got one too. Yeah, is it because of ballet or just just a fungus that you haven't taken care of? No, it's not a fungus It just I squeezed my feet into pointe shoes for so many years that one of them is just like stuck Did you ever like a black swan? I have to rip your own toenails off. No, thank God. You've never done that No, but they have fallen off while on point. I heard it crack You've never done that? No, but they have fallen off while on point. I heard it crack Mm-hmm. Yeah, I know. Do you never complain about high heels because of your life? I hate high heels Oh, you don't like high heels. Are you good in them or no?
Starting point is 00:19:34 Yeah, I'm good in them, but they're really uncomfortable on my toes because like I said, my toe is jammed forever I don't know, but is it jammed in the right way or the wrong way for a high heel? Yeah, it's actually my foot is better on point than it is in a heel. You're kind of like a knuckle-draggers. Your toes... Well, your toes should be straight on point. Okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:19:56 I thought you were going like this. No, you're like kind of more straight. You're just on top of them? Yeah. Yeah. But your arch is so strong that it sticks out. How hard is it to stay in ballet shape? It's really hard because you have to keep doing it to maintain.
Starting point is 00:20:10 Basically if you're not going to class every day then you're losing your ability. Can you do the splits at any time? Yeah. Like that's not uncomfortable for you. No. Okay. Am I wrong or is it right now with my daughter who's just a year and a half that I'm starting to push her
Starting point is 00:20:25 Splits farther and farther every day. Should I not be doing that? I think you should I gotta get her there Catch her feet to stretch. What do I do to the feet like stretch them so that they touch the ground Even if she's crying Whenever you see a tear then you can stop Whenever you see a tear, then you can stop. Oh, God. The reality of that, that you know that exists. Oh my goodness, that's terrifying. Talk about a dancer's typical diet.
Starting point is 00:20:54 Everyone's really different. It just depends on their body and their metabolism. But are people having to get on the scale, like in front of? No, they don't do that anymore, but I was definitely... When did they do that? Years ago. In like in front of? No, they don't do that anymore, but I was definitely- When did they do that? Years ago. In your lifetime of ballet? No.
Starting point is 00:21:09 Okay, before you. Before me. Pre-Bri. Okay, pre-Bri. I don't even like to think of a world pre-Bri. Okay, but I was definitely called in to have the fat talk. Okay, let's talk about the fat talk. First of all, you're a tiny person,
Starting point is 00:21:22 so okay, that's off the table. But you think, or maybe I'm wrong, but but you were kicked out of the Miami City Ballet at one point Because of being too heavy. Yeah, that's correct But but do you know it to be true or it's just a hunch you have I know it to be true Which is weird because Miami We like them thick It is weird, honestly. First of all, can we, because you're never supposed
Starting point is 00:21:48 to ask these questions, but I feel like I need to. What was your weight back then? 115. 150, you're 5'5"? Yeah. Okay, and what would they say your weight should be? I got hired when I weighed 110. It's that goddamn human food.
Starting point is 00:22:05 The person who ran the company was a woman, so that kind of hurt even deeper. But she called my mother and told my mother that I gained 20 pounds. 20 pounds? Yeah. When it was only five. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:20 But in fairness, like freshman five in ballet is equivalent to, I don't know, I'm trying to justify it. I mean, I think in a leotard, everything does show a lot more than in like street clothes. Did it affect your dance? Did five pounds affect your dance? No, it didn't affect my dance, but I was also diagnosed with PCOS at that time,
Starting point is 00:22:42 so that was like something I was dealing with that was affecting my weight. I don't know what that is. Polycystic ovarian syndrome. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, it's just like a hormone disruptor. Does that cause a five pound weight gain? It can because insulin resistance can be a part of it too
Starting point is 00:22:58 that like makes your body retain water and like retain weight. Do you hold a grudge? No, I'm happy that I ended up leaving the company and pursued other things, but I was not proud of the way that she handled the situation and the way that she treated other people. You saw eating disorders? Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:17 That's probably huge, right? Yeah. Well, especially when you have a director who wants the dancers really, really thin. And that's the thing, you're like, oh no, so-and-so's directing this, we're all in trouble. Well, she was just the creative director of the whole company.
Starting point is 00:23:30 At what weight is going on point not advised? You know, cause now there's plus size models. Right. Has that infiltrated the ballet world where there's now plus size dancers? No, there aren't plus size dancers, but I would say more and more every year it's becoming like more acceptable to be a healthy weight.
Starting point is 00:23:53 But that depends like company to company, every company's different. Do they want the guys as thin or do they not care? No, they bring them cupcakes. Man, it really is a man's world. We get cupcakes, they're over their purging. Do you jump on a scale now? Yeah. You do? Yeah. Do you care? No. I make my wife get on a scale every Thursday. Do you measure her as well? Her height? No. No, you just meant all the parts? Yeah. Oh, did they do that no do they ever measure you yes
Starting point is 00:24:28 They did did you measure yourself they measured us for costumes? Okay? Yeah, you ever had diarrhea on stage Thankfully not do you know anybody that's ever had such an accident? No, I've had like wardrobe malfunctions What does that mean just your crotch is out your Your costume like falls off. While you're dancing? Yeah Oh, was it the best show of your life? It was pretty fun. By the way, I just learned this and tell me if I'm wrong, but a female Dancer is a ballerina. A male dancer is a danseur? A male dancer. Or a male ballet dancer? Male ballet dancer, yeah. My research says also a danseur, but if don't know that, then it's not true.
Starting point is 00:25:06 I don't know that. Alright, whatever. We think a better name would be ballerinos. Yeah, I think so too. Ballerinos. Yeah. Are all dancers sleeping with each other? The men, yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:17 Oh, just the gayness? Yeah. Are they all gay? What percentage of the male? It's just you're ballparking it here. 90%? 90% of them are gay Yeah, I would say you think it's an it's a which came first chicken of the egg. Does ballet make you gay?
Starting point is 00:25:31 No, or do gay men. They're just drawn to ballet. I'm drawn to ballet, but I guess I don't I just like it and to watch I don't I mean there are straight ballet dancers, but are they not as good No, they're good. Uh-huh. Yeah. They always trying to hit on the ballerinas? Yeah, yeah. They get all the girls.
Starting point is 00:25:50 Oh, they do get them all? Yeah. Have you ever dated a ballerino? No. No? Never wanted to. What about an instructor? A teacher?
Starting point is 00:26:00 No. Never? Never. No lines are blurred ever? Do you look at their hogs when they're wearing those outfits? I try not to. But you see them all the time. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Aren't you guys just always naked backstage just to all of you at all times? In the dressing room, yeah. Ugh. I would be so into- How is it different than any sport? I wouldn't know. I never did that. Like, I was the kid that like changed real secretively in the corner real quickly. Oh, you get over that real fast.
Starting point is 00:26:26 Nah, it depends. I mean, that's the beauty of being a woman on some level. Nobody's ever like, oh my goodness, look at how short your vagina is. Right. Yeah, it's a different anxiety as a man. Yeah. I dread it to this day.
Starting point is 00:26:44 To this day, I still it to this day to this day I still have a note signed by my mother that excused me from showering in the lockers after PE class Wow. Yeah, I have had this debate for so long with anybody that listens and nobody cares Why is ballet not in the Olympics because it's an art? Okay Not in the Olympics because it's an art Okay They have like every type of dance like gymnastics. They have a dancing not just the gymnastics, but the Whatever all of it is dumb figure skating just a dumb dumber form of ballet It's it's crazy that well you can grade it
Starting point is 00:27:22 Excuse me great ballet ballet is all about like there are tons of experts that are like that was precise that was not. And that's all gymnastics is judging. Why are you on the fucking wrong side of this one? How are you going to tell me that break dancing got into the Olympics before ballet? I don't think break dancing should be in the Olympics. Of course it shouldn't have been. But here's the issue though, if you make it a sport, then it's going to take out all of the artistry, because people are just going to be focused on completing a technicality
Starting point is 00:27:55 than like showing their trick. You're wrong. Okay. Too many sports in the Olympics are based purely off judging, diving, all of that is how your body is turning, how it enters. So. But that's so, artistry is so subjective. I know.
Starting point is 00:28:14 You're not, you're gonna, You're gonna have people that are gonna be upset, but are there not the best ballerinas in the world that you're like, she's the best? They're at the top, yeah. Right. So there's a reason that you know that person is better than the other person.
Starting point is 00:28:28 Yeah. So there are definitely judges that could say, this person on this particular dance was better than this person on that particular dance. And yes, it's subjective, but it still should be people dancing for their country. Oh, I stand by this. And you're, surfing's in the Olympics,
Starting point is 00:28:47 that's purely judged. And that's artistry in the water. I can't believe you. I'm so mad at you. Do dancers suffer long-term injuries from all the impacts? Yes. Well, why are you laughing? Emotional, physical.
Starting point is 00:29:02 No, but I mean, like a football player, when you see a football player in their 50s, it's kind of sad. You're like, oh, the knees, the joints. Do dancers have that same problem later in life or not as much? Some and some dance forever and they're in great shape. Like one of my ballet teachers was 72
Starting point is 00:29:22 and she had more energy than me and went out tango dancing at night. Is there steroids in ballet? Do people do it? Not that I know of. I bet I think they do. I mean you don't get tested as a ballerina, right? No.
Starting point is 00:29:35 So you're allowed to use steroids since it's art. I guess. This is where you have so many holes in your argument. You should be all jacked up on steroids, but then you would be too swole. No, no You'll moderate it. I will figure it out your jumps will get a little higher blah blah blah I mean dancers used to take a lot of coke coke. Yeah back in the day you done cocaine never Never never look at me Never if I put cocaine on this table right now
Starting point is 00:30:05 I don't even know what to do. Would you take some of it? You would know what to do with it If I gave you just a I'm not saying a lot of cocaine just a little bit of cocaine right now You're gonna do some cocaine. I don't even take caffeine. You don't mean either We're like Mormons Did you like living in Miami? Not particularly. I lived in South Beach for a while.
Starting point is 00:30:28 You did? Mm-hmm. I loved it once I no longer lived there. Right. I was like, oh, that was fun. But when I was there, I was like, oh, give me the- It's a weird place to live. Yeah, that's for sure.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Because everyone's partying and you're going to work. When I think about, I used to go shoot, I had this little interview show, at nightclubs. Like we wouldn't leave to go to some nightclubs till two in the morning. And I'm just, when I wrap my head around that now, I'm like, what? Couldn't be me. I went to one club once for about 10 minutes.
Starting point is 00:31:01 And I was like, never again. Was your family more proud when you landed a gig as a dancer with the Miami City Ballet, or when your sister was hired as a post-production assistant on Tosh.0? Because both organizations are prestigious in their field. Sorry, Lauren. They were more proud of the Miami City Ballet.
Starting point is 00:31:20 Yeah, I think so. Okay. But they also put a lot of money into my training, so maybe that was why. You ever have a dollar figure on how much they've spent on you know do you want to know? No, if I said they spent 300,000 on your ballet career from Birth till now would you be like oh that sounds low or that sounds high that sounds high yeah I'm just I'm just ballparking it.
Starting point is 00:31:45 I don't know. It's not a sport that a lot of poor people can get into. It's not a sport. It's not an art form that a lot of poor people can get into. No, but there are scholarships. But to get good, to get a scholarship takes a lot of sacrifice that a lot of poor people might not be able to have. Correct, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:04 The only time I've ever seen a poor person in ballet is in a movie where they're like, look at this poor person that's doing ballet and she's a little different and edgier. I don't know. It's a dumb backstory always. She's trying to incorporate hip-hop into ballet. It's never going to work. What's your favorite ballet movie? Center Stage. Oh yeah. that's good. Yeah, do you ever see this show of tiny pretty things?
Starting point is 00:32:29 Yes, okay. I watch tiny pretty thing I auditioned for it you auditioned for yeah I would have loved for you to been in that show now talk about gay porn. Oh, yeah There was just dudes on dudes the whole way through that thing. I don't really understand the show They push somebody off like an eight-story building and I know loved yeah, she was in a coma the whole time Now the show was weird. I watched it though. It wasn't meant for me Definitely not the demographic. No some 40 year old dude watching these young ballet show Yeah, did you guys watch it? No, you remember Bunheads? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:05 A group of the writers on Tosh.0 all would watch it together. And then they would live tweet during the show just about Bunheads and things that were going on. And they thought it was the greatest thing. Will you always be a Bunhead? Yeah. Is the ballet world really like the movie Black Swan? Also off topic, Mila Kunis, do you think she and her rape apologist husband get wrapped up in this Diddy disaster?
Starting point is 00:33:34 Part one, yes and no. Okay. And part two, no comment. Oh, they're in there. That's gonna happen. By the way, your sister worked for me. Your sister, originally, when she first came into my life, she was an assistant for the clip clearance guy.
Starting point is 00:33:58 What's that? This guy is just like, he would clear the videos that were on the show. I also threw up on your sister on camera. You did, yeah. That was her first appearance on- That was her claim to fame. Oh, that was nice.
Starting point is 00:34:10 But then she worked under my stylist, Carrie, and she clothed me for many years. Lauren, I'll say something about your sister. Anytime we ever have large groups of people visit, before people leave, I let them know who was the best guest and who was the worst guest. And she was always the best guest. Why?
Starting point is 00:34:35 She just knows how to be a guest. You know, this is, we're not talking about, this is like when a large group of people are staying together for an extended period of time. See, I don't know, she just, you didn't have to worry about her. She could always take care of everybody else. She was considerate, like, hey, I got food for everybody.
Starting point is 00:34:51 You know, but, and I'll be honest, it's not without complaint, okay? Nobody sheds more than her. This is true. God damn the amount. One time I bought her a plug that she could use in my drains for when she would visit because the amount of hair that would come out of her head.
Starting point is 00:35:10 Now you have the same problem? No. You don't? No. I don't have quite as much hair as her. That's too much hair, I just remember that. Your age gap is a little, seven, eight years apart? Yeah, I'm the save the marriage baby.
Starting point is 00:35:23 How'd that work? Not great. It didn't save the marriage. I failed. Did you cause your parents to separate? Maybe. No, I didn't. Were you ever competitive with your sisters
Starting point is 00:35:32 or with the gap so big that it didn't? No, and she was always so supportive. Yeah, she really is. Yeah. I mean, I knew about your career long before I ever met you just because of how much she talked about you. That's sweet.
Starting point is 00:35:43 Uh-huh. I was like, shut up, no one gives a shit about this ballerina. Do more people call you Brie or Brianna? My closest friends call me Brie. Your closest friends call me Brie. Am I your closest friend? No.
Starting point is 00:35:56 No, I'm not. I'll stick to Brianna. I think Brianna's fancy. And it's like, it's almost all the same letters as ballerina. Did you ever notice that? No. Speaking of letters, you're engaged, congratulations.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Thank you. To a tiny fella. Uh, everyone in her family. He was in Munchkinland. He's not, he's a normal person, but everyone in their family, they always just refer to Brianna and her fiance, AJ, as, oh, they're just so cute and tiny.
Starting point is 00:36:27 Which I always think is- We're very average. Yeah, you're five-five. My wife was talking to you like you were like the tiniest little thing, and I'm like, she's three inches taller than you. You're in musical theater, and your fiance is a singer-songwriter.
Starting point is 00:36:40 What's it like to live on negative $400 per month? Yeah. Super fun. You live in New York City, then you moved right at the pandemic or before the pandemic? August 2020. So smack dab in the pandemic.
Starting point is 00:36:55 Yeah. Okay. To Nashville. A city that exploded during the pandemic. A lot of people talk about like, oh, the mass exodus out of California or into Texas and Florida when people talk about Nashville how it exploded Ho, I'm like I saw it from my own eyes. I'd go there. I'm like good god This is changed the housing market has like tripled. Did you guys buy when you were there? No, so you didn't even score But did you enjoy living in Nashville? Yeah, Why did you, a New York ballerina, Broadway singer,
Starting point is 00:37:29 all of that, why would you go to Nashville? Well, during the pandemic, my whole career was just shut down. Okay. The whole business. So I went to Nashville for AJ's music career, and there's just so much there. There's a lot of art.
Starting point is 00:37:43 There's like something for everyone. It's very... There's nothing for ballerinas. Nothing really for ballerinas, but it's a very like just small, manageable town. It's a lot easier. Just everything's easier. You can get in your car and get your groceries. But are you happy to be gone? Would you... Are you glad that you're left Nashville behind? Yeah, it's bittersweet for sure. But I'm happy to be back more in my business, in the scene where... Yeah, it was like, listen, fiance, we've been living for your dream long enough,
Starting point is 00:38:14 let's go back to the bread and butter. Sort of. Not that intense. Now, if you had your druthers here, would you rather your fiance make it huge, okay? Or you make it pretty well off? Like not to the absolute top, but wow, what a career. The first.
Starting point is 00:38:41 Ah, you're a liar. Can't believe you. You're just like a hallmark movie. Give everything away for somebody else. No. You gotta be selfish. No wonder. Listen, if he's gonna make it all the way, then that's gonna help me. Of course, but that's not what you want. You guys wanna have a family and that kind of stuff?
Starting point is 00:39:02 Yeah. Are you gonna torture your children into the art form that you loved so much at one point? No. If they want to, I will encourage them and stretch their feet. But I will hope that they are good at other things. You and AJ just sit around all day and just sing to each other?
Starting point is 00:39:17 I hear you do. Not all day. I hear you guys do. Sometimes. Like you guys like, like. I mean, he's a musician. He might sit at the piano and play a song. Yeah, but even when other people like come over for like wine. Yeah, we have sing-alongs. And you guys like it like I mean he's a musician he might sit at the piano and play a song and yeah
Starting point is 00:39:25 But even other people like come over for a wine and you guys just sing. Yeah, it's really cute That is the silliest thing I would never know wholesome. Oh, that's so odd so weird no coke there anything AJ had a hit Billy Joel Joel? Does he force you into all of his music videos or do you force yourself into his music videos because you're like Shakira? Didn't she used to date like a mentally abusive soccer player? Am I wrong on all of this? I could be making it up. Not ringing any bells. And he wouldn't allow her for like a decade when you didn't hear from Shakira. They wouldn't allow her to be in any music video
Starting point is 00:40:11 with another man. Oh wow. And then they just recently got divorced and now you're seeing Shakira all over the place again. Yeah, she's back. I don't know if it's true. It's not like that, no. We just co-collaborate and I help produce his music videos.
Starting point is 00:40:24 By the way, does he sing country music? Why did I, I thought he didn't, I thought he sang pop. He does pop, yeah, but he writes whatever. Did he write any country hits out there? No. Nah. I used to dabble with a girl that wrote country music. She also sang, but she, but every day she'd have to,
Starting point is 00:40:41 she was like in a deal. She'd have to deliver 12 songs a day. A day? Some, something, something. A year, deal. She'd have to deliver 12 songs a day. A day? Something, something. A year, probably. No, no, no, no, no. Like it was just churning out, ding ding ding, dumb shit after dumb shit.
Starting point is 00:40:54 Yeah. Let me tell you something else about this girl. What? She was the first person, I remember we were sitting in a hotel bed, don't tell my wife about this, and she was the first person to go She was like looking at me going. Oh, you're going bald and I was like, oh, I was like like 28 or 29 and
Starting point is 00:41:12 She goes I don't care. Don't worry about it. I'm like Bitch, I care like you're not gonna be the last person I'm with Shouldn't let but she wrote a song about me. Oh, I felt nice. Was it about your baldness? Oh, shut up. Everybody that's on the show gets gifts, just stuff from the house. Oh.
Starting point is 00:41:34 You're not gonna like, well, you might like some of it. These are, some of these are like leading up to your wedding. You have to like do different like parties and things, but you have to wear white, so there's different like white dresses. Oh my gosh. There'll be some fun things in there. I don't know what they are Yo, yo, yo, like I mean you and you're cooler than I some of this stuff has tags I go I go honey. Why do you why are you giving this?
Starting point is 00:41:55 To Brad is she goes she's cooler. She's can I can't wear these things. I'm old. I'm not cool. Oh, this is great There's a lot. There's a lot of stuff. Oh my gosh. Here look, you're gonna love all this stuff. What do we got here? I don't know what this is. Oh, I can't wait to see you in this number. Look at this, extra small, huh? What is this?
Starting point is 00:42:16 Oh, there's a good one. Oh wow, I love it. Oh man, that's a slinky little number. Could have been on your wife, but now it'll be on me. Now it's gonna be on AJ's wife Are you taking his name? Um, not No legally But we I will be known as missus. I've seen I've seen my wife in this one
Starting point is 00:42:38 You're oh this This would be you'll like this dress. This is great for wicked. I've already seen it twice. Look at this fucking horrible thing. Like a haunted doll wore that. I can't wait for you to wear that. That is awful. Okay, now you get that off my desk.
Starting point is 00:42:58 Put it back in the bag that came over there. Set it on the floor. Here, then I got you, these are, I took these from my kids. Put it back into the bag that came over there. Oh, okay settle before Here then I got you these are I took these from my kids because you and your arm Everybody refers to you as little gingerbread You you and your fiance so that that can be AJ and that could be you and then you guys went eventually when you guys go To therapy you can use these to point at where you're feeling the pain. I don't know You can use these to point at where you're feeling the pain. I don't know Little gingerbread therapy dolls. You'll be fine with those get it off the desk
Starting point is 00:43:39 You played serela in West Side Story. Was that a dream gig for you? Yeah, by the way, Stephen Seward. What's he like as a choreographer? He's not He stayed away from the choreography, but he was definitely there every day. Do you really believe that when you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way? Yep. From your first cigarette to your last dying day? Correct. Was being on that set your heaven? Yeah, it was.
Starting point is 00:43:56 It was amazing. Well, that's great. Yeah, I had to watch. I had to sit through that turd just to be like, oh, there's Brianna. Did you recognize me? Yeah, sure. It was like you weren't in gymnasium or something. I don't remember all that.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Was your West Side story character in a gang for the whites or the Puerto Ricans? The Italians. Was it? No, wasn't it just whites versus Puerto Ricans in there? Which were you, were you Puerto Rican or white in the movie? Very, very white. You were white, aw. You could pass as Puerto Rican. white in the movie very very white you were white Oh, you could pass as Puerto Rican really don't you think okay?
Starting point is 00:44:28 I'm always around poor. You don't think she can know you say no way. I think she could pass as Puerto Rican Great major do her makeup a little different Throw on some huge big ol hoops do an appropriated accent Big ol' hoops, do an appropriated accent. She's Puerto Rican. It's not allowed. What's some auditions that you didn't get of projects you're like, oh, I wish I would have gotten that.
Starting point is 00:44:52 The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. I auditioned for 12 different roles. 12 different roles in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel? Yeah. And they said no. They said no. They said you're- I was on hold for a couple, but I didn't get it.
Starting point is 00:45:03 And each role out of the 12, they said, this person is five pounds too heavy. What are the odds? I think I was actually too thin for some of the roles. So you never can win. It's a different era. Can never win. It's a different era.
Starting point is 00:45:18 No. Do you have any issue when just to sing at the drop of a hat? I'd prefer to have notice. I'm not asking you to sing right now. But I mean like at a table read where it's like, oh, we're just now singing. The other day I was talking to you.
Starting point is 00:45:31 I sang acapella yesterday at the audition. Right, she has this audition yesterday. Listen to this nightmare of what she has to do. She goes to this audition yesterday. There's like a hundred people, they're all in one room and they're just individually like dancing, learning numbers, splitting up into small groups in front of each other.
Starting point is 00:45:49 And then they're like, okay, now we're gonna do some, some little scenes between, you guys pair up. We did some cold reading. And they're doing that in front of the whole hundred people. Now I'm gonna walk around and touch the people that I actually want to see more of. And she got tapped, of course. She's so good.
Starting point is 00:46:08 But then, like, how embarrassing. I don't- That was the first time I had to sing acapella for anything. Normally there's, like, a pianist there. I wish I could sing. I could never sing. You can sing good. I just can't do it.
Starting point is 00:46:21 It's not good. The thing that I hate about musical theater is when they're not singing songs But singing dialogue that fucking infuriates me So much they're not singing songs, but they're singing dialogue, you know, like whether I just singing like like Hamilton Yes, any of that shit or what should I call it? What was the other one that Hugh Jackman did a while ago? There was a movie the greatest showman. No By the way, I love the greatest showman. Thank God the greatest showman to bet I'm talking about the other one lay man Oh, yes, like that when you're walking around now. I'm looking at the river
Starting point is 00:46:59 Well, I'm doing an impression of someone trying to be that's how you're gonna sing is it yeah But that's not really singing is it I can sing like my grandpa. How does he sing? He sings like this? Did that weird fucking like 40s from the radio? Kermit the frog thing. Mm-hmm. I see skies blue Always in a version of that I felt. Red roses. Now you got a new one. My wife went to watch your table read. You guys, you and your fiance produce, created.
Starting point is 00:47:34 Created a musical. A musical. Yes. And now has he written a lot of the songs for it? He wrote all the songs with his co-writer. I heard from other people that the songs were amazing. Thanks. That's nice. But that's what they said. They said all the songs with his co-writer. I heard from other people that the songs were amazing. Thanks. That's nice.
Starting point is 00:47:47 But that's what they said. They said the songs were, they said there was some other trouble in spots, but other than that, they said the songs were amazing. So this would be your dream gig, your own project, this musical. What's this musical about? It's about how Prince Charming came to be.
Starting point is 00:48:04 A tale as old as time. Is it funny? Yeah, it's comical. It's about the Princess Estella, the princess behind Prince Charming. Oh. I know nothing of her. Yeah, she's new. She's new? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:48:18 Oh, you made her up. Yes. Oh, that's good. I'm furious at your stance in the Olympics. Thank you, Brianna, for being here today. Of course. I look forward to seeing you for at least three to five more years. And then the career has to stop.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Right? No, you listen, if you're ever dancing or singing, I will be there to support you. Thank you. Okay. I will be there to support you. Thank you. Okay. I appreciate it. You're welcome. The Indicator is a podcast where daily economic news is about what matters to you. And we're guessing most days, that's money.
Starting point is 00:48:55 Workers have been feeling the sting of inflation. So as a new administration promises action on the cost of living, taxes, and home prices, the S&P 500 biggest post-election day spike ever. Follow all the big changes and what they mean for you. Make America affordable again. Listen to The Indicator from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get podcasts. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough
Starting point is 00:49:21 to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse and so many commercials about back pain. And now I'm starting a podcast and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City, and Narcos, and Roadhouse, and so many commercials about back pain. And now, I'm starting a podcast because honestly guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buckwild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chao. Titanic.
Starting point is 00:49:49 Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Ever wonder what it's like to be on the phone with an NFL general manager as you finalize the biggest contract in NFL history? I'm AJ Stevens, vice president of client strategy at Athletes First, where we've negotiated $1.4 billion in current NFL quarterback contracts. Introducing the Athletes First Family podcast, the quarterback series. Along with my co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First's CEO, we're pulling back the curtain on how these historic deals come together. You'll hear directly from the agents who shaped the NFL's financial landscape, the ones who negotiated Justin Herbert's extension and Deshaun Watson's fully guaranteed contract that sent shockwaves through the league. This isn't just about the numbers though, it's about the untold stories behind these massive negotiations
Starting point is 00:50:53 and the relationships the NFL superstars like Dak Prescott, Tua Tunga-Valliloa, and Jordan Love have with their agents at Athletes First. For the first time ever, the agents who orchestrate these deals are sharing the details of the negotiations and everything that led up to their clients signing on the dotted line. Listen to the Athletes First Family podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey y'all, this is Reed from the God's Country Podcast. We had the one and only Bobby Bones in the studio this week, and we cover everything from his upbringing to his outdoor experiences with the stepdad Arkansas Keith to the state of country music We may even end the episode with a little jam session led by Bobby himself Y'all be sure to listen to this episode of God's country with Bobby Bones on the I heart radio app
Starting point is 00:51:40 Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast. An old lady came up to me. She said, how much for this cream of wheat? Pasha. I wanna thank Brianna for being on the show and I can't wait to dance with her at her wedding. Oh, it's gonna be intense. Hey, believe it or not guys, you think I'm hunting these down, I'm not. I've got another poop story. Come on.
Starting point is 00:52:30 You're not gonna believe this. Now, every morning, around 630 ish, I go and get my daughter. First, I warm her up like three ounces of milk and I get my wife a cup of coffee. I bring the coffee to my wife. I hand my wife the bottle and then I go get my daughter and then I bring her into our bedroom and I give her the bottle. I change her diaper, whatever. And then in the next 30 minutes, my son wakes up and he comes into the room and climbs into the bed.
Starting point is 00:53:11 Now fast forward to the part where they're all in the bed. Okay. I'm rolling on my side. I got, uh, an iPad and I'm watching some Australian open because the time zone is just ridiculous. I believe I'm watching some Australian open because the time zone. It's just ridiculous I believe I'm watching some Cocoa golf. I mean I'm being attacked. I'm being stepped on just watching the game. Okay now my wife At one point during this my my daughter said she had to go use the bathroom
Starting point is 00:53:42 She's learning how to she's being potty trained Very young very, you know, very above average. Anyway, uh She doesn't put a diaper back on her. That's fine Yeah, cuz there's a lot of false alarms when she's learning how to potty Anyway, she's back in the bed. No diaper on you guys are getting where the story's going. Okay Kids are still on top of me doing stuff, having fun. I'm watching Cocoa Golf. Next thing I know, my son says, I smell poop. Okay. And that's not new.
Starting point is 00:54:15 You know, you're in my bed. I'm a fart machine. Anyway, okay. My wife looks around and there's no poop in here, you gotta go to the bathroom. She checks every kid, says they don't have to. Okay, I'm still watching tennis. It is like five or so minutes go by. My son says, this is what I hear.
Starting point is 00:54:40 You ready for this? Yeah. He says, why is there Play-Doh in the bed? Oh no. Ha ha ha. I'm like, there's no, You ready for this? Yeah, he says why is there play-doh in the bed? Oh, no I'm like, there's no I just I just I don't even turn back he and then he's like this is baby He's like it's poop. It's poop I'm on my side. I'm not even looking at what's happening behind me I just I'm just looking at my screen. I'm watching tennis and and then Carl is like, don't move, don't move.
Starting point is 00:55:07 It's, there's, and he's starting to cry because now he thought there was Play-Doh in the bed and he squished it, and it's not. I mean, wait, this is ridiculous. Hold on, okay? My wife, she's like, I don't know where it came from. I'm like, you don't know where it came from? It came from our daughter's butt.
Starting point is 00:55:30 I know where it came from. She's like, she didn't poop. I'm like, she did. Maybe she dropped a nugget in the diaper when you ripped it off and you didn't see it fly out. I don't know the answer. All I know is my son's crying because he squished play-doh that was poop and it's like I'm not allowed to move because it's like right behind me. Anyway, alright,
Starting point is 00:55:51 so we get this stuff cleaned up, she strips the bed and she doesn't change the pillow cases. I'm like, you think we should change the pillowcase when there's like a rogue turd floating around? Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't change the pillowcases. That's like a rogue turd floating around? Yeah. Bigger matter floats. Yeah, she doesn't change the pillowcases. That's the end of the story. Yes. You did. It's just complete nonsense in our house at all time. Yeah, whatever.
Starting point is 00:56:15 We got some plugs. Oh yeah, we do. The Tosh Show Store.com. Check that out. We got some new tours coming up. My tour tickets on sale this Friday, New York City New Jersey, Omaha Minneapolis Milwaukee Madison
Starting point is 00:56:32 Chicago look at me Check out Eddie too. Eddie's got some dates and he's gonna be with me. It's gonna be exciting Now it's time for the free plug. Okay hit the free plug music That's good free plug music All right today's free plug if you're in the Oklahoma City area head on over to Slaughterville Park. Whoa Slaughterville it's completed and opened in October 2019. The land was acquired by the town in February 2014. It's on Slaughterville Road, one half mile east of US Highway 77. Slaughterville Park is open daily from 6 a.m. to 10 p.m.
Starting point is 00:57:17 That's pretty late. It's got one half mile of trail, plenty of room for everybody for leisurely walks to vigorous joggers and kids on bicycles or rollerblades. There's still rollerblading in OKC? Interesting. I feel like rollerblading's kind of had its moment, it's done. Slaughterville Park offers a covered pavilion near the entrance with picnic tables, two grills.
Starting point is 00:57:44 Those aren't gas, are they? Two grills. Two grills and restrooms nearby. Six fitness stations and eight sitting benches are placed throughout the park trail. Slaughterville Park is a great place to enjoy a family picnic, a scenic stroll in nature, or sit and enjoy the sound of the country.
Starting point is 00:58:04 It's only 45 minutes outside of Oklahoma City. What is going on? That's a long way to go. I'll see you guys next week. The Indicator is a podcast where daily economic news is about what matters to you. And we're guessing most days, that's money. Workers have been feeling the sting of inflation. So as a new administration promises action on the cost of living, taxes, and home prices... The S&P 500 biggest post-election day spike ever.
Starting point is 00:58:33 Follow all the big changes and what they mean for you. Make America affordable again. Listen to The Indicator from NPR on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight straight to your ears with The Daily Show Ears Edition podcast. Dive into Jon's unique take on the biggest topics in politics, entertainment, sports and more. Joined by the sharp voices of the show's correspondents and contributors.
Starting point is 00:59:03 And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough.
Starting point is 00:59:34 Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week, I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. $1.4 billion in NFL quarterback contracts.
Starting point is 01:00:01 The untold stories behind the biggest deals in football history. I'm AJ Stevens, vice president ofient Strategy at Athletes First, introducing the Athletes First Family Podcast, the quarterback series. My co-host Brian Murphy, Athletes First CEO, and I are sitting down with the agents who have negotiated contracts for Justin Herbert, Deshaun Watson, Dak Prescott, Tua Tunga-Vaioloa, and Jordan Love. Listen to Athletes First Family Podcast on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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