Tosh Show - My Season Of Regifting

Episode Date: December 23, 2025

Daniel reviews this year's Hallmark Christmas movies and takes a look back at the gifts he has given his guests....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The best new Christmas movie that came out this year was not a Hallmark Christmas movie. Tosh Show. Talk Show. Welcome to Tosh Show and Merry Christmas. I had turned off a movie the other day that I put on for my children. it was called Santa Paws on Disney, rated G. Anyway, I turned it off almost a few minutes.
Starting point is 00:00:39 It was just depressed, always with the orphanage. Disney and dead parents. It's just so annoying. Anyway, this was like a dog movie. I thought, oh, this would be a dog movie. We just watched this for five seconds while I'm getting breakfast or something ready. I don't know what I was doing, or maybe I was getting dinner ready. My wife was out.
Starting point is 00:00:57 You know, she always said, Oh, I go out one time with the girls every, like, three months. I'm like, it feels like weekly. Anyway, I'm doing a lot here, guys. It doesn't matter. Let her, let her have it. Let her keep saying it's just once every three months. You know, it's wearing on the kids.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Anyway. So I'm like, here, they'll watch anything. Yeah. Doesn't matter what I put on, they'll watch it. And they won't tell me if it's inappropriate. right so i i'm just listening anyway here's what i want to point out i why i turned this a g movie and it didn't come out in 1991 this is like a 2011 movie i believe you could look it up you'd see if i'm right anyway immediately i something hit me where santa claus somebody said
Starting point is 00:01:47 happy holidays to santa claus when he was in new york city he's walking around and he went Merry Christmas Like, like, that they had And I'm like, oh Gross Like Santa Claus is that big of an asshole That he was offended Like he doesn't know the religious
Starting point is 00:02:06 background of the person That just said happy holidays to them That annoyed me But then it was all the dead parents This is not how I want to start the show But now that I'm on it I'm gonna tell you some stuff But it is the way we're starting What's that?
Starting point is 00:02:19 But it is the way we're starting It is. How you doing, Ed? I'm doing good, how are you? Good. You excited for Christmas? Of course. I love Christmas. Man, you better. Or you'll burn in hell. You'll burn in hell. That's the rule. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:02:30 So I'm going to give you a brief review of my Christmas Hallmark movies. You know, and I might accidentally spoil some of these, but it doesn't matter. They're homeart movies. Guess what? They're going to kiss at the end. You know, she's going to pick the small town over the big city. You get it. But anyway, these were a few that I saw this year, a Royal Montana Christmas. um enjoyable fine christmas above the clouds fucking awful just horrible just a pile of shit
Starting point is 00:03:01 couldn't stand it same guy that's in the three wisest men this year that's a little franchise they've had a little popular cast that has worked for the past few years and their new one this year was great but when he was also in this other one above the clouds I was like this is god awful a Keller Christmas vacation
Starting point is 00:03:21 as a family They were going on vacation I think the dad has Parkinson's or something They find out at the end That was good Okay It was watchable It was kind of cute
Starting point is 00:03:32 And then the snow must go on That was my sleeper Now a lot of times When they put a person of color in a lead It's not going to be their strongest movie Or their strongest script But I felt like the acting And the snow must go on was solid
Starting point is 00:03:48 And the movie was very watchable okay now that's that's six five so i don't know what i said uh christmas movies on hallmark that i watch i hate what has gone on where everybody is trying to jump on the bandwagon of what hallmark has created and and doing their kind of cheesy happy christmas i can't stand it like i'll watch a netflix one and they'll have big names in it and i go that's the i don't want big names. I want these random people in it, and that's also what
Starting point is 00:04:24 I enjoy that. I just, I hate it. I hate when the other networks try to do it, all the streaming services. I don't watch them, they all suck. They're not Christmas. Okay? That's just being greedy. I will say our buddy, Luke McFarland, most
Starting point is 00:04:41 beautiful man alive, great actor, wasn't in any Christmas Hallmark movies this year. Now, has you become too big? Is he too famous because he does I quote unquote real stuff? Yes, I guess. He's hosting
Starting point is 00:04:56 some, you know, reality I don't know what is. What's it called? Home is where the heart is. Home is where the heart. He's hosting something on the hallmark but that doesn't cut it for me. I'm not watching that shit. I want to watch my Christmas movies and I want my big gay Luke in the lead.
Starting point is 00:05:12 Kissing a chick. That's what I want. I didn't get it this year. I didn't get it this year, but that's okay. Maybe Luke will go back. Don't Luke We miss you I understand That your schedule is probably busy But you and I both know
Starting point is 00:05:28 It only takes four to five days To churn out one of these turds That's right One of these Christmas miracles You can give up a week I shouldn't I shouldn't I shouldn't call it a turd You gotta call it a Christmas miracle Okay now
Starting point is 00:05:41 Let me get back to this About other streaming services Trying to do their knockoff Hallmark Christmas movies because I didn't think it was going to happen, but it did happen. The best new Christmas movie that came out this year was not a Hallmark Christmas movie. Oh, man. Now, normally I don't even watch these other things.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I immediately turn it off. But for some reason, I put this on thinking that my sleepy wife wouldn't care that it was on, she immediately perked up and we started watching it and we loved it. And it was really good the whole way. through and it's going to be my one Christmas movie recommendation for the year. Now most people may have already seen it that care about these dumb things. It was a very Jonas Christmas movie. I know nothing about the Jonas brothers. I barely know their work. I know that they're three brothers. Okay. But this movie was funny. Will Ferrell is in it in the beginning. They're playing
Starting point is 00:06:44 themselves. They're very self-deprecating. The one brother that's kind of like doesn't seem like he should be in show business, let alone a rock star, is very aware of that. There's another Jonas brother that's actually in the movie at the end that's not in the group. Oh, okay. You don't even know, but didn't even know that guy existed. What a weird life he has. I think he was an oops, baby.
Starting point is 00:07:09 But anyway, the movie's good. Good. There's music in it, of course. They're singing some originals. It's funny. it plays well it's under an hour 20 it's everything that I liked
Starting point is 00:07:22 I was just happy with it the whole way I recommend watching it put it on tell me I'm wrong it's not you say well your taste and shows is just awful listen I'll punch anyone in the face that says slow horses isn't the best show there you go okay
Starting point is 00:07:38 so there's my barometer but I can appreciate some of this other stuff the Jonas Christmas movie got it right the whole way through now do I have one complaint a small complaint sure you do okay no here it is the travel agent that's filling in for their personal assistant during the movie is doing an impression in my opinion of the agent's assistant in hacks. Okay. And I love her in hacks.
Starting point is 00:08:19 That assistant is just so funny. And I feel like they wanted her and they couldn't get her and they said, hey, you, whatever actor, just do an impression of that because there's a spot-on impression of kind of that tone. Anyway, I think people should watch that.
Starting point is 00:08:37 I mean, what do I get? Here's, this is the problem, though. It's the Jonas brothers. And I guess, I guess, by the way, my wife, the whole time, she didn't never listen to the Jones brothers. Now she's like in love with them. She's like, all of a sudden, she's listening to their playlist. She's like, these guys are great. I'll like them.
Starting point is 00:08:55 We're late to the game. And then my wife looks up who created it and wrote the show. And it's the guy, the couple or whatever, the team that did, this is us. So it's like, you know, these aren't, I mean, the people that turn out Hallmark Christmas movies, you know, that's Joe Blow in Canada. hammering away on his keyboard for eight minutes. Got it. Rips it out. This is us.
Starting point is 00:09:20 That's big time stuff. Hey, you know what I want to say one more? This has nothing to do with Christmas movies. But my wife, just sometimes I just love her. Not all the time, but sometimes. The other day, we were going to watch a new show. Somebody had recommended the show. all her fault.
Starting point is 00:09:45 I look at what it's about and it's like a kid gets kidnapped and it's just drama, stress-filled. I'm like, I don't want to watch a show about kids getting kidnapped before I go to bed every night. It's going to stress me out. Ah, we watch it.
Starting point is 00:10:01 She goes, oh, some of my friends said it was good. We put it on. We're watching the first episode. I'm immediately getting infuriated by their instincts. Not calling 911 within one second of not. your kid not being where they're supposed to be.
Starting point is 00:10:16 Yeah. Like just dumb mistake after dumb mistake. I'm like, you deserve to have your kid kidnapped. But I'm getting more and more infuriated. And then we get to the end of the first episode. And I'm like, well, now I'm like, hooked. I'm like, should we start another episode? Right.
Starting point is 00:10:33 And my wife, this is how great my wife is with no hesitation. Just goes, the babies were switched at birth. she went on her phone she looked up what the end of the show was and she ruined it for me so that we wouldn't go through the rest of the fucking show wow she goes I didn't like the acting either
Starting point is 00:10:54 and I go thank you thank you for doing that because I would have been like are we just gonna plow through this shitty show she's like no they got in a car accident when they left the hospital the husband's a douchebag and their baby died
Starting point is 00:11:08 he took the other baby from the other accident when the woman was passed out and they raised that baby as their own and then the mom kind of basically somehow found it and came back and re-kidnapped her own child at six years old. The end.
Starting point is 00:11:23 I was like, power move. Power move by my wife to just spoil a show and make me go, well, that's good, let's go to bed. Exactly. She knew it would work.
Starting point is 00:11:36 So we went to bed. Anyway, Listen, my time is valuable, and so is my listeners. And I don't want them to make the same mistake. All right, it's Christmas time. And if you like to receive gifts as much as I like to give things away, enjoy. This episode is brought to you by prize picks. On prize picks, how you play is up to you.
Starting point is 00:12:04 If you want flexibility, choose flex play, where you get paid. even if one of your picks misses. And if you want the biggest payouts, go for the power play. No matter your play, prize picks is a great way to put your takes to the test. We got the NFL on Christmas Day, Denver at Kansas City. Bo Nix, wait for it, interception. Choose more. How about some Christmas NBA also?
Starting point is 00:12:29 Mavs at Warriors. The Mavs are struggling, and I'm afraid Cooper will too. I'm going to choose less points for the big guy from Maine. the warriors I still got I got faith in those geriatrics more from the warriors these locks are your presence from me
Starting point is 00:12:47 enjoy a little extra money in your pocket on Christmas Day download the prize picks app today and use code Tosh to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup that's code Tosh to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup prize picks it's good to be right
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Starting point is 00:15:17 and swap firm Everybody that's on the show, TJ, I give them a gift. I just unload stuff from my house. So let's see what I have for Santa. It's also very fun to give gifts to Santa. This is a beard trimmer with all the attachments. I've never used that. I don't have a beard.
Starting point is 00:15:39 And then this is like a personal, I don't know if Santa grooms down below, but that's what it's meant for. It's meant for all kinds of cleanup. You can use it on any. It doesn't have to be the unmentionables. I'm going to give you one of the. the gifts that I had just bought my wife that she hasn't even opened yet oh right that's super exciting oh my oh you know that brand yeah look at that oh are you so excited go ahead open that gift up how do i see if you like this oh that just scratched the shit out of how did a bag scratch the
Starting point is 00:16:18 table oh no it doesn't matter oh wow no it's an actual bag I know I know well well wait you need And here's my thing. You need a big tote for the new one and nothing better than like a sexy, cute one. Are you thinking for real? Yeah. It's beautiful. I know it is.
Starting point is 00:16:36 My wife is going to be fucking furious. Well, she'll be excited if you decide to go in the same direction for her. I don't know. I mean, I think she'll be like, wait, well, that was supposed to be for me. And now I got to fucking look at Jocelyn with it. I always joked about doing this. I was like, you know what I'm going to do it. So what does it say?
Starting point is 00:16:54 The pre-up? The pre-nup. It's our pre-up. Oh, wow. I did a nice paper. Do you remember looking at that thing? Did you ever actually read our pre-up? My attorney made me, like, read some of it.
Starting point is 00:17:08 She really thought I wasn't taking it seriously. You weren't? Yeah. I got away with murder in there. Get it off my desk. This is the bottle my wife was drinking two nights ago. She didn't finish it. I figured you could have the rest of it if you wanted it.
Starting point is 00:17:21 That's how much she left after drinking. That's a very funny amount to leave. Agree. Yeah. And I go, this is in the refrigerator. I'm like, what is it? It's an ounce and a half. Is that, is that shit wine that she was drinking?
Starting point is 00:17:34 Say it. I won't. It's shit, huh? I will not. But it is? I won't say that. Okay. Why won't you say that?
Starting point is 00:17:41 I won't speak negatively about wine. Oh, they can't hear you? They can. And will. The wine? No. The wine maker, the humans. I thought you didn't want to hurt the wine.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Because, you know, it's at the end of its life when it's poured into a glass. Sure, sure, sure. I was going back to that and that you were like, no, no, no, let them go out peacefully. Most of these frames still have, like, photos of my family and them, but you don't have to, you can keep those up if you'd like. There's my son when he was little. Oh, that's my wife and her mom. You'll love these. They were just in a drawer.
Starting point is 00:18:21 That's my wife's wedding. Wait, are you serious? Yeah, she was, well, I guess it's my wedding, too, but I didn't really care. That's a special picture. Not if it was shoved in a drawer that never was going to get touched. You're going to want these frames. We love them. These are very special.
Starting point is 00:18:38 You can do stuff with them. That's not one of course. You can stuff with them? Okay. This, this was like $300. Now, my wife's cousin bought me this for Christmas this year, and I was so mad at him. I was like, why would I want this? And it's the same guy.
Starting point is 00:18:54 Remember that time I had that little thing? Is this, is this Fuzi? No, it says cool, cool, coo. Oh, Coalio. Coolio. I don't know. Not the rapper. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:19:03 Let me explain this to you. He first invented this chapstick holder, cooler, and I thought, whatever. I use it. I like it. Fine. But now he invented this thing. This thing has like a battery charger for your phone, speaker place. It has like a built-in cooler.
Starting point is 00:19:19 I go, you want me to walk around. with a refrigerator on my back. I'm like, you, it's an appliance. This is an appliance. This backpack is 300 bucks. It's never been used. Yeah, there's like, feel that. There's like a battery charger.
Starting point is 00:19:35 If I was a big tailgator and that's what I'm talking about, the cart racing. But, but we don't do, no, we can. No, no, you're going to love it. No, because I can't, I can't have any alcohol. So I can't even have alcohol on the grid. John, this doesn't have to have alcohol. You have sparkling water, okay? You're going to, you're going to love it.
Starting point is 00:19:50 Your son's going to love this. He's going to think it's neat. Where's your producer? Can I give it to your executive producer? No, no, this is a tax write-up for me to give away. I'll get a re-gift. You can't re-gift this. Now, I can see a purpose for this.
Starting point is 00:20:01 Good, John. Not for me. No, John, you're going to give this to your... I can think of, you know... You're going to find a client that's going to need this. Look at that thing. Why would he think I want to walk around with a refrigerator on my back? I can tell you where...
Starting point is 00:20:16 This is perfect for you. No, no. When you go surfing... Stop, John. And you're going to spend the day of the beach. You're being rude right now, John. Thank you. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:20:22 You're welcome. Thank you. It's a really wonderful gift. Hold on. That is one of the most interesting gifts I've ever received. A woman that we had on the show, she sent me this. She makes basically adult toys that are jewelry. It's like a ring, but it's fashionable, but you can wear it, but then it also will, you know, it'll also vibrate.
Starting point is 00:20:48 Amazing. Thank you. I hope it's your, whoa. Whoa. Whoa. It fits. Oh, good. This, I mean, when, you know, we make contact with aliens, this will be. If you have that, that might be the peace offering that saves our planet from destruction.
Starting point is 00:21:11 Now, this next gift is to give it to some of your horny fans. Okay. And legally, you probably can't do it, but I don't care. Okay. Because I had a vasectomy. Oh, no. So my wife doesn't need any more birth control. So I just got all of her birth control.
Starting point is 00:21:27 You just can give this to your fans. I think they would love that signed. I don't know if you're legally allowed to give birth control away. But we give condoms away as gifts. Well, birth control is a little different. Okay. I just want, I just want. Wait, and they could be expired.
Starting point is 00:21:43 They're definitely expired. Okay. So not usable. No, I think it's been proven that expired medicine still works. I agree with you. Okay. Now get that off my desk, please. That's lovely.
Starting point is 00:21:53 You're going to want to give that to people. Thank you so much. I've never been given something so considerate before. Well, I just think you're making these kids all horned up. Yes. And especially in the world we live in now, you're going to have to put that on the floor. I don't want that on the desk. I just don't want the dog to get it.
Starting point is 00:22:10 My dog can't get pregnant either. Okay. Oh, my God. Okay. Okay. Hey, buddy. Hi. That's Panda.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Panda. Amanda. Hi. Nice to meet you. How you doing? That's Adam. Okay, get this pig off my desk. You want to leg up?
Starting point is 00:22:26 Oh, no, son of it. Something up your sleeve, right? Yeah. This, what do you see this jacket? It's kind of like a snuggy, but it's different. You're gonna love this. Here you go. There you go.
Starting point is 00:22:38 Put this on. What do you see this jacket? The magic that you can do in this. I'm telling it, it's perfect for magic. It's got a nice boxy shape to it. Yeah, yeah, you'll feel flattering. You kind of, to be honest, with it, you look like a, um, You look like somebody that would teach martial arts.
Starting point is 00:22:54 You're going to love this jacket. I am going to love this jacket. Why, your manager really hooks it up. Well, I hated it. Never once wore it. What? Okay, take that off. Excuse me, I'm still...
Starting point is 00:23:04 It's too hot in here. You're going to burn up. I used to do a show on Comedy Central, a green screen, and I would a lot of times shoot stuff at my house, and I had my own green screen at home, and then this is some of my green screen. It's my version of the green monster. okay so I just want you to have my green monster
Starting point is 00:23:23 if you hold this up like if they I hold this up right now they're going to put a penis on it right next to my face I know I know I'm not going to hold it up next to your face we'll put something nice no you don't do that we'll get rid of those you'll love those you'll love those I feel like I'm on the price is right more like let's make a deal where you win the awful thing but we're going to have to get those off the desk I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:23:49 It's a lot, I know, but you know, I'll give you a box. I can handle it. Your kids will love this. Send that home to them, give that to your kids. I will graciously decline. Here, I'll take you the one that you already snacked on. But you have to keep the rest of that. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Please, set that on the floor. I can't have it on my desk. Now, this is an inflatable outdoor movie theater. Oh, my gosh. Is this used? Yeah, everything's used and stuff in my house that I don't want. It's been used one time. Eddie was with me the one time I used it.
Starting point is 00:24:23 We watched in my backyard Christmas Vacation. Christmas Vacation. It was awesome. We watched Christmas vacation. This is, uh, this is, uh, earbuts. You don't want that. There's some earbuds going. Don't put that in your ear without cleaning it, all right?
Starting point is 00:24:39 But you're going to have to get all this off. Get this off my desk. There's so much stuff. But there you go. I get that off my desk. You are amazing. Oh my God. Please get those off the desk.
Starting point is 00:24:47 I will. Okay. Excuse me. Throw them on the floor. Jesus. Here, take your table off my table. Are you OCD about this? No, it's just...
Starting point is 00:24:59 This is heavy. No, and then there's immediate laughter from the back, so that's a yes? Fine. All of this has to get off my desk. Okay. Okay, I cannot have... I'm gonna push off. We'll clean this up later for you.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Okay, get that off my desk. Get that off the desk. You don't have to do it one at a time. You don't have to do it one at a time. Get that on the floor, please. Get this off my desk. Here, I'll push this down over there. Yeah, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Just shove it off. It'll be fine. Okay. But that needs to go, too. But don't shove it off. You set that down at your gift. Yes. I'm going to carry that home for you.
Starting point is 00:25:32 I'm going to need you to put that on the floor. I'm sorry. A massage table. Oh, perfect. Thank you. That's what I needed. Yeah. I figure if anybody deserves to be treated.
Starting point is 00:25:43 Oh, yeah. By the way, Paul may be the first guest that I've ever had that I didn't have to say, get this off my desk you're probably wondering why am i giving you a printer oh it's nice look at this thing this printer is brand new never could get it to work and then pete tried to get it to work and he couldn't get to where he goes oh i think the ink dried up and i'm like how's the ink going to dry up just sitting in a house for three years whatever and then he put changed the ink cartridge and it would only print blue and i'm like i go that can't be right and he's like No, he goes, and then he said something that I'm not going to repeat.
Starting point is 00:26:22 But then it just, he says, it doesn't work anymore. I go, there's no way a brand new printer that has sat in my house for three years only printed in blue ink for two weeks. So anyway, he's like, well, it doesn't work. I'm giving this to you, and then I want you to fix it and print something, and then I will fire Pete. Thank you Can I take it? Yeah, please take that off Don't drag it
Starting point is 00:26:53 All right Lift straight up Look at that, show how strong you are This is a heavy-ass stand Well yeah, yeah Well, don't scratch my beautiful table I just got this table Fair enough
Starting point is 00:27:01 Yeah put that on the floor You can put that on the floor You're gonna want to put that on the floor That'll scratch my desk all up And probably don't lean it against the wall You might need to lay that flat That thing is huge There's a monster
Starting point is 00:27:12 Got you my chainsaw Oh my god This is awesome All right, get that off my desk, please. Oh, my goodness. It actually scared me. Me too. All right.
Starting point is 00:27:28 Oh, my goodness. My poor desk. That's perfect. Get those off my desk. That is perfect. Don't drag them. Don't go out high. Oh, my gosh.
Starting point is 00:27:38 Did I pour too much concrete? Don't break your knees either. That's a perfect spot. Yeah, I'm getting cramps in my legs. Don't drag it. Jesus. Close. Oh.
Starting point is 00:27:47 Oh, fuck. Oh, look what you just did. That's big. Dary it goes away. Look at it. Luckily, he can buffer. No, that's not coming out. He can barely see it.
Starting point is 00:27:57 Oh, no. Oh, no. That is not buffing out. That's not. Have them sand it out. Good. There's no way we can keep that in front of the camera. Hold on.
Starting point is 00:28:07 Guys, come over here. She's going to scratch the walls up. Luke's going to scratch the walls up. This is so you don't walk on people's deck. I don't know why I have these stilts. Okay? Here, take this. What is, oh, no, no, that's no, that's not mine.
Starting point is 00:28:19 I don't care. It was left in my work site. Don't open it in here. It's nasty, man. It's nasty. He said that is not mine. This is a toilet. Now, I could use one of these.
Starting point is 00:28:34 This is for the truck. You give this to you. Now, this is so good. This is a good toilet, too. This one is, by the way, you hear it, right? This was at the house? Yeah. I travel with this, but it's, no, that's, it's never been pooped.
Starting point is 00:28:47 in. Okay? Thank you. It has been peed in. Yes, but it's been cleaned out. This is called a country bathroom. This is for your outdoorsy people. They just hook it to a tree and then they can poop. Somebody gave this to me because I have IBS. And I said, guys, I can't, I don't have time to hook shit around a tree to go to the bathroom. When I have to go, it's like now. Yeah. And I got to run. It's a different kit for you. No, yours is just, for me, it's just, I just need toilet paper in the, in the truck. Get all this off my desk. Good gosh. RJ. I think we have a gift for you. Oh, no. That's, that is not necessary. Can you get that on the floor? Just throw that on the floor. Both of those is fine. Just drop them. You can just, thank you so much. Here comes to live salmon for you.
Starting point is 00:29:30 Sacks. Don't do this. Give them the rock. Oh, God damn it. You're giving me a rock. This is from the Ozarks. We got this this weekend. What? Oh, man. Let me see this. That's pretty sweet. That's actually beautiful. Okay. That's nice. Well, I can't wait to take that home and so here is your very own page from an actual Barclay book in 2019 the year that I gave up thought you would appreciate that year loop two you know I actually this is probably my second favorite gift that I've ever received on this show first I was a hat that I liked That's his name. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:30:18 But this, this right here. Good grief. You're just doing the same bit that I do. You're just fucking getting rid of your shit. I had to empty my closet. Here you go. That's a book. Oh, God damn it.
Starting point is 00:30:29 Rick. Is that it? No. Oh, good grief. Oh, come on, Rick. How much stuff do you have? Well, here's some more. This right here, though.
Starting point is 00:30:37 What is happening with it? You put that over on that side just so that I don't accidentally take it. Are you done? I got... God damn it. I like that your bag is a salvage. Army. Yeah, that's why I went shopping. There's one more
Starting point is 00:30:50 thing. You brought more things? Just one thing. You probably won't like it, but I talk to Pete. I know I won't like it. I know. Holy shit. Hold on. You just fucking stole. Well, basically. The Tosh Pointe This actually is hysterical. So, Rick, not only
Starting point is 00:31:06 is this from, look, it has the lights that are behind it that light up Tosh. Point O. But he just fucking rip this out of the goddamn wall. hours to get off and it's going right to the can. Where are you keeping all this shit, Rick? Well, it's going to be at your house now, Daniel.
Starting point is 00:31:26 There's no fucking chance in hell. Santa can't leave just yet. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Oh, no. I didn't ask for anything, Santa. I know, but the show did. What is that?
Starting point is 00:31:40 Look at this. This is nice. This is for your son. Do I, so I don't open it now? Why that one you don't open. Okay, that's really nicey. I'm going to get this off my desk. This one, Daniel, opens.
Starting point is 00:31:52 I open this one. Open it now? You can if you'd like. And I have something here for John. Good. This guy knows everybody that works on the show. And for Pete? Oh, it looks like it's the same thing.
Starting point is 00:32:04 Something for Dylan. No one remembers Dylan. Santa is real. And a little something for Eddie. Ed. Look at this. It's like Christmas today. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:32:16 And everybody on the show on behalf of them, thank you. Absolutely. Can I ask for a big ho, ho, ho. Oh, Merry Christmas, Daniel. Merry Christmas. I'll see you Christmas Eve, but you'd better not see me. Eddie, does your lower back hurt from sitting on a giant brick wallet all day? Yep.
Starting point is 00:32:41 You need Ridge for their unique, slim, modern, wallets. You've seen me give away the Ridge wallet and that Ridge key ring thing. I gave it to a cybersecurity expert because it has RFID blocking technology. He's safe from digital pickpocketers. But that was the basic old Ridge. Now they're selling Ridge 2.0, the most refined version of the Ridge wallet. Refined sounds so fancy, but it's true. After perfecting the wallet for 12 years, Ridge just took their game-changing wallet and made it even better. Everything is better on the Ridge 2.0. It's lighter. It's got cash straps, money clips, and air tag attachments all while holding up to 12 cards plus cash. For a limited time, Ridge is having their huge holiday
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Starting point is 00:33:59 I cannot wait for Christmas to be over because now I've got a whole new stack of stuff to get rid of. I wonder if when people buy me things now, they're just like, ugh, he's going to give this away. Yep. Good. my parents stopped buying me stuff decades ago they were aware you know one time my brother and I mocked my uh my parents for putting a $20 bill in something when we were like in our
Starting point is 00:34:29 20s we're like oh thanks now when we go to the ATM we'll only have to take out $80 and it was at point I think my mom said shut up I'll never give you guys anything ever again and we're like Great. Dream scenario. Right? We get nothing. We get text. That's all we get. Hey, Carl, you're looking a little sloppy. Groomer next week. What do you say? Deal? Let's do some plugs. Patreon.com slash toss show for your borderless content. My first farewell tour. Shows are being added. We're doing two shows in Aspen, Colorado. there you go one of them i believe's at four o'clock now that's my kind of show it's on the sabbath four o'clock i wonder if people in aspun have ever referred to sunday as the sabbath i doubt it they're godless there even though they're so close to god they're so high oh they're high what's the elevation there ed 7,891 7,891 what's the top of snow mass or ajax That seems to be 11,212.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Okay. We're going to be between 7,000 and 11,000 feet. That sounds fun. Well, two shows. Now, that's a small venue, but the ticket price is high, so that makes up for it. Oh, yeah. Economics. Come out.
Starting point is 00:36:01 I'll give you the best show I can do. I will try as hard as I can. It's at the altitude. Well, by the way, I don't ever have a problem performing an altitude. That is not the case for a lot of comedians. Oh, I've watched so many comedians in Aspen backstage huffing on oxygen. And they all fly in and then they get drunk and then they have to perform. It's a disaster.
Starting point is 00:36:28 Toshoshostore.com gets some merch. All right. Hey, before we move on to my wife's cousin, Panda and trying to find her love, look at this. This is one of her new business cards. I like it. She started a business underneath my roof. What's the business? Art Panda. She does art classes for kids. She'll like do like a birthday party. She was at a, you know, there was some coffee function, sunny day coffee had a, had a big function in this beautiful, you know, ranch. And they had,
Starting point is 00:37:02 she had a table set up for the kids and she's doing, she's art panda. I like it. Yeah, it's the cutest thing. ever. Anyway, it's one of her business cards. It's got her cell phone on it. 9.04. She got a 904 area code. She's still living that Jack's Beach life. Anyway, we got any
Starting point is 00:37:23 voicemails for it today? We do have some voice mails. Let's hear it. Potential suitors. Hey, Daniel. This is Wes. I'm interested in Panda. I am a architect and I run 100-milers. Um, I don't have much equine experience.
Starting point is 00:37:41 My dad has a horse, and we're just all kind of waiting for him to pass so we can get rid of it. But if Panda wants it, uh, she can have it. Uh, we'd probably get along well on vacation because, uh, I like doing dumb stuff. All right. Listen, I kind of like that guy. Right. Architect. Good.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Uh, runs 100 milers. Horrible red flag. that's a lot of time away no i don't care about that it's just the personality trait he's running from something that where you need to go that far why don't i go jog for for 30 to 45 minutes and come home do that every day you don't do it every day do it three to three days a week stop being an asshole on the side of the road nothing bothers me more than when people bike or jog on the side of the PCH through the Palisades in Santa Monica when there's a breathtaking bike jog path on the ocean.
Starting point is 00:38:40 Yeah. Yet you think your pure style warrants being on the freeway where I've got to make sure that I give you enough room and don't wedge you into a guardrail. Fuck you. Anybody else? Yep. Hey, this is Matt. I was just listening, but I kind of tuned out of the voicemail because I finished with
Starting point is 00:39:01 the podcast and that's enough. hearing Daniel talk for now. I can call back and leave another voicemail, but if Amanda's eye thing has been cleared up, I know another viewer called in about that, I'll do that. But if that I thing is still going on, everyone has their limits.
Starting point is 00:39:17 We'll call it there. Good luck. Okay. Well, I've got good news for them. The I thing has been under control. You know, occasionally it flares up, but she has come up with some type of allergy, medicine routine that that puts it at bay
Starting point is 00:39:36 but she's not doing what the guy that called in said but that that's because her own thing has been working as of late so I don't think her eye thing is fixed but it hasn't flared up recently let's uh let's get those two in the sack see you next week

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