Tosh Show - My Son’s Bedtime Stories

Episode Date: August 30, 2024

From the mind of Daniel’s son, the complete catalog of Tosh Show Bedtime Stories.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's good? It's Colleen Whit and Eating While Broke is back for season three. Brought to you by the Black Effect Podcast Network and iHeartRadio. We're serving up some real stories and life lessons from people like Van Lathan, DC Young Fly, Bone Thugs and Harmony, and many more. They're sharing the dishes that got them through their struggles and the wisdom they gained along the way. We're cooking up something special, so tune in every Thursday. Listen to Eating While Broke on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Podcasts, wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by AT&T, connecting changes everything. I'm Renee Stubbs, and I'm obsessed with sports, especially tennis. Tune into my podcast each week to hear me and my friends in the community break down the latest matches, including the US Open. Plus hear from some of the biggest names in the sport about what the future holds. It's about belief and once you break through that, then you know you can win a Grand Slam. Listen to the Renee Stubbs Tennis Podcast every Monday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Tosh Show. Tosh Show. Tosh Show for Show. Hey guys, it's me, Daniel Tosh, host of the Tosh Show. Tosh Show for Show. Hey guys, it's me, Daniel Tosh, host of the Tosh Show. And today I've got a very special pod for you. Today we're doing a Best Of.

Oh, Eddie, hit us with some of that Best Of sweet jazz music that you love so much. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Yeah. Like good jazz, you never know when it's gonna end. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, my son has been doing the bedtime stories segment for our show for all but two episodes, but now, now it's gonna be the best of. And since it's my son, I couldn't pick just one or two. So I'm gonna play the entire catalog for you back to back. That way you can let your children watch this at night before they go to bed and you won't have to read to them.

FYI, this is the only piece of content on this show that we could check the Yes It's Made for Kids box when uploading to YouTube. So kids please enjoy this very very very long video and also please don't ever watch anything else that we ever put on this channel until you turn 18 or run away from home. Enjoy. Enjoy! So when mommy got this, they were just baby dying. So there's somebody who had chickens, some planet had bears, some planet had rabbits,

some planet had bunnies, some planet had... Wait, so there's one planet that just had rabbits and one planet had bunnies? What's the difference between the planet that had rabbits and the planet that had bunnies? The end. Okay, goodbye. Tell me one scary story. Okay.

Okay. One day, deep, deep down a big hole was a big lion. And there was not a tiny one, it was a big lion. The end. That is not scary. And... Ten. That's not scary. This is a hole and there's a big line in it. Goofball. You do whatever you want. Go ahead.

Once upon a time in a sorrowful land, their mommy said he'd turn the outside of your mouth. So one day in the winter and they thought to go outside and they went outside and then the man was warm and it was sunny and they melted. The end. Okay, it's Christmas. Go ahead and tell me a story.

Once upon a time there were two little trains. All they wanted to do is do an explain race, but they twisted. So they built a train track. The little boys built in a train track, and then the trains, the two little trains, rolled on it. And then one of them rolled. And then they turned and said,

Santa, bye, get back. Bye, you pay. Wanted me to tell you the really short stories? Sure, tell me a really short story. One time, a rabbit jumped over a lot, but the rabbit didn't know how to jump over the lot, so he decided to make a ramp. He riding his own on a bike. How am I supposed to go to bed after hearing that story? Since there's a long story and then it might be late at sundown, okay? Alright, thanks.

One upon a time, there were two animals. There was a sea otter and a sea lion. But they didn't know how to swim, so they dived on a safe boat then they watered the sea and then they twirled because they were both not happy because they were mean animals in the ocean. They went full to the ocean. then they saw alligators. But then they went to Mababoo and swim in the ocean in Mababoo and it was just porches. But they saw a sea rat and it ate them, the end.

But. You can't say the end and then but. That story was crazy. I liked it though. That story was crazy. I liked it though. That story was delicious. I liked it, that was a good story. Thank you for that one. Okay.

All right, that's one story, then we go to bed, okay? Okay. I'm sleepy. Once upon a time in a so, so, so, so, so, so, so city, saw saw saw saw saw a city. Anytime people walked away from the table, the trotter hamper, Bordora, would take a bite of their trotter. And when they came back to the table, they said, Wait, I didn't take a bite of this! Who did? And they saw him! They saw the Taco Boater!

The end! Once upon a time, these little guys, they tried to do a Tampa Zan. They tried to do a Tampa Zan. And the Tampa Zan didn't work. And the Tampa Zan didn't work. So they died on the distances. So they died on the distances.

And then they rode on a bike and then they hit someone on their bike. And then they rolled on a bike and they hit someone right in their bike. And then they saw a seahorse. And then they saw a see hole and then they and then they dropped their stone and then they dropped their stone. The end. Why did you say everything twice in that story? I don't know. That's a weird thing that you did. Like have you did you have you ever heard somebody do that before? You just made that up? You just want to repeat things twice each time? Yeah. That was neat. You're like Chris Rock.

Okay, tell me one story about helicopters. Once upon a time, there was a snowy day when there was a weather on a boat with a helicopter, three helicopters. And there were so many talks at the easel, the helicopter didn't know that under the boat was salt. But the salt didn't know that the boat was going on a big, big rain. And the big, big rain, the boat was posted on the wave and then the salt and then the salt shell off the bottom of the boat and then it went south and then there was an alligator popped it up and ate the whole boat, the end. Wow.

Once upon a time, somebody named Trapston had a blue tall. He would, he saw he did rest and he brought it in his soul. He cleaned it up to mess in his house. But one needling, he so saw a butt, one butt had mess in the soul, low and quiet. But he didn't know where it is, but somebody put it here with cereal and came out and then drowned. It was a zombie. Jill would want zombies are real. And the zombie put it but ate it.

The end. I honestly don't think I understood anything in that story. There was a zombie? What else was there? What was the guy's name? I don't remember either. Oh, alright. I'm telling the same story but a different story.

You're going to tell me a different version of the same story? Alright, let's hear it. My head broke. Someone said my head broke off. And then, wow, somebody came out with a penguin and a baby penguin. Hello. She said she was a baby. I don't like this story at all. It's not good.

It doesn't make sense. And it's really hard to understand. I don't like it when your stories have voices because your voice is already on the scale of tough to understand. And then when you do voices, it's like, what are we talking about at this point? See what I'm saying? I can't understand that. You're still doing it. Hey, baby! See what I'm saying? I can't understand that. This guy is a baby. Hey, baby! Okay, you're still doing it.

Hey. But don't... Bye bye, little toy. What's 156 times 28? The sign goes wrong. That's pretty good. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Once upon a time, there was a starry city called Malibu.

And in Malibu, there was an old place, and the old place was old halls. And everything was old, even the place. There was an old plot, there were several cellar tent, and there they fished in. They fished in a boy named... And this boy named... Had him... Yai-yais. And he raided someone and he didn't know about his dragon one until he had a baby.

And he was a big brother and he had a baby six. That's the end, the end. That's a good story. Once upon a time there was a playground. Everyone loved the playground. It was so, so fun. But one of them didn't like it. They only liked it when they turned right,

trying to look so sad. But, and then the police came. The police died too. And they were thrown out. And the park got bitter and and and the post got bigger and bigger and bigger until until they had a little home for them it was so big what are they what got bigger the post the park yeah the park got bigger and bigger yeah what does it mean? That means it like it like flotted this thing and hit it all the time. But then it got bigger and bigger. How was the park getting bigger

and bigger? Like I don't know tornado hit it maybe? And that made it bigger and bigger and like the whole area. I didn't know why. I didn't know son. Is this a true story? Yes. I know I know I know I know. That's scary. Okay one day did mom say you can't throw outside of your mouth there's little popsicles. You already told this story about popsicles. I don't want to hear it anymore. Right. Tell me a new story. Go. Hmm.

Once upon a time, a rabbit went through the rock again. Okay. That is insane. Once upon a time... Hmm. In a small city with the little tiny people all they wanted to do was ride a motorcycle but the childrens put on it would only choose to see motorcycles so they tried to keep up with the other motorcycle but so they made it a motorcycle. They turned in. They turned in red rotor, red rotor, blue time motor and then he did it. He ride a feet. So the end. Bye.

Oh, that story is awful. Once upon a time in a long, long, long, a so, so, so, way city, where the wind, the It was the people and then it was Baa Baa and Meanie. The one with bright red and one with bright blue and then it was bright red and bright blue talls around. But the blue that I didn't know put a hero to put retards in. And the yellow that I didn't know put a hero in a poli-trot and a yellow that I didn't know put a hero in a cyro-trot Hold on

Okay, and what is that and the other, I don't know, there was one of them. Can't see. This story has gone off the rails. I don't know what I am. You don't know what you're saying? Yeah. You've got yourself into a pickle, huh? Yeah.

I want that new rhythm." "...Oh right. The end." It began as a three-word line spoken by Kelly Taylor, Jenny Garth's character on Beverly Hill's 90210, but it became her own formula for personal fulfillment and the rallying cry of an entire movement. The phrase, I choose me, has come to mean so much to so many. It embodies self-care and self-love. I'm Jenny Garth, and I have a brand new podcast called I Choose Me. What started as a line in a script has become a guiding force for me.

I've learned that loving yourself is not selfish. Tune into the podcast I Choose Me with Jenny Garth as she continues her quest for contentment and gratitude and leads you on an exploration of the transformative power of those three words. You'll learn how you too can choose health, healing, and happiness to be the star of your own life and watch everything around you improve. Join me each week as I continue my quest for contentment and gratitude. Come along and live by the words, I choose me. Listen to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you. Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours.

Everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours. EPM 110, 120, she's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it. That was live audio of a woman's nightmare.

This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm.

Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Angie Martinez. Check out my podcast where I talk to some of the biggest athletes, musicians, actors in the world. We go beyond the headlines and the sound bites that have real conversations about real life, death, love, and everything in between. This life right here, just finding myself, just relaxation, just not feeling stressed, just not feeling pressed.

This is what I'm most proud of. I'm proud of Mary because I've been through hell and some horrible things. That feeling that I had of inadequacy is gone. You're gonna die being you, so you gotta constantly work on who you are to make sure that the stars align correctly. Life ain't easy and it's getting harder and harder. So if you have a story to tell, if you've come through some trials, you need to share

it because you're going to inspire someone. You're going to give somebody the motivation to not give up, to not quit. Listen to Angie Martinez IRL on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Once upon a time, there was a PokePine, but they were not just any kind of PokePine. This was a mean PokePine. But all these PokePine wanted to do they were so mean because

they did all they thought was hit they didn't even did to do anything every time they got grabbed and all the person that's hurt weren't just any kind of porcupine they were a big big sass sus sass porcupine but then somebody said hey back there I mean and that's what that's what he was he wasn't a porcupine he was you hear my sing he wasn't a porcupine. One of those other ones that are similar were the porcupine but they. The hedgehog? And there was a hedgehog. Then the hedgehog called to say, hey, are you a porcupine? And the porcupine said, yes, I'm a porcupine. And what is your name?

And the porcupine said, my name is Porcupine. I'm named by Henry and and and Henry said to the put to the what John had try what's your name and he said he was his name was Swam. I don't remember. And then he said, my name is Seattle. And the Poke-Side said, what? And the Poke-Side said, that's not a name. Okay, my name is Pine.

And he couldn't make up any names. But then something happened. Rain and pouring, the old man is snowing. That's your cave, what came? Instruments! And they were singing, It's raining, it's pouring, The old man, he's lonely, He went to bed, he bumped his head,

And turned in the dark and he moaned. That's what they were singing. And one person said, Come to the doctor. And that's what they turned on when they when they got into the doctor I'll tell you what they told on when they got into the doctor I'll tell you Give me the news

Bad case and loving you. Okay, that's what they told on. Is that it? No. This is a very long story. You're telling me. This is a story that goes all the way until it's the morning. That's how tiny Soulie it is. I gotta go to bed, honey. Then you can go to bed in here. Okay. Finish it up. The end. Oh, man. Wanna tell stories again? Yeah, let's tell stories.

You wanna go first? I'm this- No, this guy wanna go first. He wants to go first? Alright, let him go first. Once upon a time in a sorrow like Taka, there was a monkey, he was dead. That story is horrible. Now you tell the story. Once upon a time, in a sorrow-raced soul shop, there was this bunny. All he wanted to do was sample it. He tore it in.

All he wanted to do was sample it. He tore it in. Then, a disorder came. And then the bunny didn't know what to do it sampling he tried it. Then other dog came and then the bunny didn't know what to do he said he finally he told to them what are you doing that my dog will have what's joining And then the other one, oh shit, how that, oh, and they're so random. This story's no good either. Once upon a time, hey, come on, do some ins, do you want to see some ins, yeah, can I bring my dino?

Yeah, you can. Whoop my ass. You want to... Can I bring my dino? Yeah, you can. Or buy a dino for it. The end. Are you just retelling tonight when you saw... When I told you to come in the hallway and look at the spider? Yes. Once upon a time there were two little animals. All they wanted to do was ride on a train.

But they twidded, put their head in the air. All aboard, the captain said. They just wanted to play. But The The paintings were draw well, but the paintings were sick. That was like one of those. So somebody helped them. What? This is like one of those movies at the end where it ends, the credits roll, and then there's like some extra little scenes

before the movie finishes. Like Top Gun Maverick? I don't know, are there extra scenes in Top Gun Maverick? Yes. All right, then yes, like Top Gun Maverick. And the only story that they read and then they went to sleep at the end. But they always wanted to know about the end. One upon a time in a deep deep doubt a big big heat with some little little

Lions, but they wanted to him hot dogs Him he they wanted him, but they say this thing was what told me balls but they say they see one with turkey meatballs. All right, well, hold on a minute. So there's three lions in a cave, and they wanted ham, but their favorite thing is turkey meatballs?

A ham meatball. A ham meatballs. Turkey meatballs. Turkey meatballs. Okay, go on, sorry. Okay, now we do another story? That's the end of the story? Now we do another story? That story is garbage.

Okay, once upon a time a pterodactyl was flying in the rain. He tried to keep up with the with pterodactyls. But he tried it, but it was too rainy. He fell down into someone's a choosy, and then an octopus came running out from the choosy into the pool, and then the octopus ate the pterodactyl, flying pterodactyl out, flying it away. The doctor tried to adapt the lower back by the way.

And then, the little one was standing on, and then it broke the window into the side, and they saw the other two doctors, and then, and then there was And then the tears after And then the other two that go broke and then the octopus ate all the tear jackals And then they did and then they just rammed it to a sandbar and then and then Wait wait wait They went on the sand and they broke it to the sand and put it to a big octopus Hold on. The octopus ate the thing and then they were in a seagull. And they turned it into a seagull because they were too big.

They were in a seagull? And then. Oh, god. They were the seagulls. Wrap this story up right now. And there was a light and then it shine so bright that they blew the light. Wrap this story up right now Your mommy and daddy and then they ate all of the tentacles and climbed up a mountain and then flew down from the mountain and then culled and then they culled the big genki the egg. Once upon a time in a land there were two little chocolate chip cookies and they know how to drop up. But the only thing they didn't know how was the flim. So one day they thought they put their bathing boots on.

They went outside, they got under the cookie and they learned how to flim under the cookie. And it was so fun. So one day, the Oreos, the Oreos are Oreos, Oreos. And then when the Oreos sang, it kept getting louder and wow and wow until it got super loud and killed it a monster come in

the end Give me a good night story. Go ahead. Okay, one time a hot dog so, any single guy at a table, the pizza guy would eat their pizza. And when they walked back to their table and they saw daddy's plate, they didn't see a pizza. So, they went to the hamble, the pizza guy, and say, when I came back to my table, there wasn't a pizza. Hmm, we have to find out what happened. And then, that was the boy and the daddy saw the pizza man.

And the pizza man turned around and said, I ate that pizza because I was hungry. Then they put in a big bowl of pizza with, and a big net. So when he walked in the way, he said, Oh, I'm eating all of these pizza. So he tracks into the chicken motor and put him on the walk away.

The end. Good story, buddy. Give me one quick story before mom reads. Go ahead. Give me one quick story before mom reads. Go ahead. Hmm. Just a short one. Once upon a time in a little small land where there were trees and everywhere a big little And he would only be a flaper. He would only flake the grass so it would be flat.

So he could dry. So one day he decided to be a push-flater. So he got a shuttle, He pushed it all the way through the plant so they would grow high and tall. But he decided, as he was on the mail truck one day, he would then dress up as a mail truck and put mail into themilk in it. And he would say,

here's your milk. Everyone decided to drink milk. Boo, it's Halloween. You tell me. But the only thing he didn't know after it was a milk die. He was milked. Any time the milk died, like if anybody would drink the milk

and they walked away from the table, the milkman would do this. This was the hamper door. But the milkman, as he did the milk, a little k. He sat and then he sat down to the milk cake. He saw a way to get out of the milk cake. D and E. Wow. That's a good story. Once upon a time, a little mermaid, she was swimming in the water. She saw a toy in the water. Hmm, what's that is?

And it was a bot. And she said, what? She was in this bot. And there was a little tiny white baseball in there. She said, hmm, what is this, Sin told? And then he swam and flam. I saw Jesus flam. She went on and she popped it up and she went on the boat.

So what he did is, heammed out of the boat, and sat on a chair, and had so much fun until she went down a big water salt. And then down at the bottom of the sea, down, down, down, was three tour assaults, aliens, other kind of assaults, but other kind of mermaids, distant mermaids, another mermaid, so many things. Down at the bottom of the sea,

G and Timmy tell one more story? No. Once upon a time in a so, so, way, the woods were these little mouse-chickas, and then, and then, and then, every day the baby mouse would go out, a big, big, big bear would kiss up to him. And, yep, I told you it was similar.

And every day he would say, Do you want to race? And then they raced. And then the bear, and then the baby, I want the baby, I want the baby, I want the baby. And then the baby won. And then everybody cheered for them. They went back home, they had to dance it off.

And then in the morning, and then the bear said, it's been a long time. Do you want to race? And then they raced. And then the bear tripped and fell. And then the baby won. And then there was so much out. And then someone had knocked it on the door and they opened the door up and it was a big, big, bad wolf and then he list and disease and then he told us about

this is a book about a bundle of metal and he said break! And he said to eat people. And then, but what are people who are fools? And they said, boss. And he said, bull, bull, bull. And they got a little boy that got a little bit cool man. And then they laughed and laughed. And there was a bull and there was a big cheetah and a leopard corn. And then they laughed and laughed. And then they laughed and laughed.

And then they laughed and laughed. And then they laughed and laughed. And then they laughed and laughed. And then they laughed and laughed and there was a bull and there was a big cheetah and a leopard corn And they said, what's your pizza with the bagalacas? And then the rose ate everyone and then they still lasted when he was in his tummy and then the gingerbread man ate him. And then a candy man came and then the gingerbread man and then a bounty came a and a candy man and then a and I like I come and they the bunny So we go to bed The story is so long so long as we've ever heard Yeah, that's's so long.

And then it says, seven, eight, nine. The end. Okay. It began as a three-word line spoken by Kelly Taylor, Jenny Garth's character on Beverly Hills 90210, but it became her own formula for personal fulfillment and the rallying cry of an entire movement. The phrase, "'I choose me' has come to mean so much to so many. It embodies self-care and self-love."

I'm Jenny Garth, and I have a brand new podcast called I Choose Me. What started as a line in a script has become a guiding force for me. I've learned that loving yourself is not selfish. Tune into the podcast I Choose Me with Jennyth, as she continues her quest for contentment and gratitude and leads you on an exploration of the transformative power of those three words. You'll learn how you too can choose health, healing, and happiness to be the star of your own life and watch everything around you improve.

Join me each week as I continue my quest for contentment and gratitude. Come along and live by the words, I choose me. Listen to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I've been thinking about you. I want you back in my life. It's too late for that. I have a proposal for you.

Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours. I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend.

I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend. I'm going to be a good friend. I Come up here and document my project. All you need to do is record everything like you always do. One session, 24 hours. BPM 110, 120, she's terrified. Should we wake her up? Absolutely not. What was that? You didn't figure it out? I think I need to hear you say it.

That was live audio of a woman's nightmare. This machine is approved and everything? You're allowed to be doing this? We passed the review board a year ago. We're not hurting people. There's nothing dangerous about what you're doing. They're just dreams. Dream Sequence is a new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television,

iHeart Radio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the new horror thriller from Blumhouse Television, iHeartRadio, and Realm. Listen to Dream Sequence on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Angie Martinez. Check out my podcast where I talk to some of the biggest athletes, musicians, actors in the world. We go beyond the headlines and the sound bites that have real conversations about real life, death, love, and everything in between.

This life right here, just finding myself, just relaxation, just not feeling stressed, just not feeling pressed. This is what I'm most proud of. I'm proud of Mary, because I've been through hell and some horrible things. That feeling that I had of inadequacy is gone. You're going to die being you. So you got to constantly work on who you are to make sure that the stars align correctly.

Life ain't easy and it's getting harder and harder. So if you have a story to tell, if you've come through some trials, you need to share it because you're going to inspire someone. You're going to give somebody the motivation to not give up, to not quit. Listen to Angie Martinez IRL on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, they should have dragged the queen there. And they talked for her. There was a parrot. All the parrots wanted to do was stay up all night. But he couldn't, but the team noticed

that he might get tired. So, he would then make up a little bed in the living room so him Flora made herself toady and maybe he would maybe just need a little more pillows. So, what he needed to do is semi-tip it, so I told ya, but chances, he waited and waited And he didn't know because he was hungry. So what he had to do was make himself a table and he would went so tired as he put in the animal soda. The end. But. You can't say the end and then say but. This is a two-parter? Yeah? The end. Okay the second part is just real short. Once upon a time, there were little lions. All they wanted to do was to roll. But every time they rolled, they sounded like this. Freak! Freak!

Every time they rolled, they sounded like a mouse. So, they ate a big a lion and then they tried to roll roll out of a lion and they twisted it so far like sweet sweet sweet so ate more lions, more daddy lions, and then they tried to woo, and it sounded like that. Waaah! And they were so happy. The end.

A little story tonight, because I'm really sleepy. The rabbit turned to look at the end. No, that's too short. Okay, okay. Give me a nice story about... Because I'm really sleepy. So we have a gentle door at the end. No, that's too short. Give me a nice story about... I know, I know, I know. Okay, go ahead. Maybe you won't really like it when there's more.

Well, I'll be the judge. Okay. Once upon a time, there were these soldiers in the water. They were legging and told it, but anytime they passed away, at our day, they ate them. At the single time, even when they were at night time, they would turn them out. And then, they, and then there was Shishi,

and then the show, about the Shishi, the tall sign name Nemo. And then... I don't see them! That was awful. Alright, go ahead and tell me one. Once upon a time in a star-ray slum, But the psalmer and his panel, Every day there was a psalmin, In the deep ocean's seer,

That every day they could see every sin, With such a day, and one day, They saw a dope in a t library and on to the door a big huge tyo D is highly They run, they don't know how to turn to see my truck. And then, the end. Alright, go ahead. Once upon a time in a far away planet, where they riddled astronauts.

They waited so long, but no one came. So, what they needed to talk with a watcher sit They blacked the doctor's hands on your man. Oh They said And then The astronaut waited and waited and then the watcher said team so don't so anybody within encounter except the Milderbeasts. And this Milderbeast was in Sire and he brought Sire out.

And there was a time the dragon, he was purple with lights on him always. Then when it was night time, he got out of bed. He got out, he went outside. And there was a beast. It was called a precinct beast and that precinct beast blew him and turned him into a statue but this and then he turned back and then he rolled back and the missile beast flew away And then the astronaut raided and raided. And then they saw another one with a titty tat in it. And then they got broke and put to the astronaut. They didn't know there was a titty tat in it that meant astronaut. And then the sea was so loud and then and then and then somebody to direct you the

hero says and then they and then they all went to bed. The End. Once upon a time in a starry land, I loved rainbows. He has an octopus and ocean. His name was Blubbie. And all he wanted to do was kick his leg. But he was too small.

He was still a baby. The end. Once upon a time, in a dark, dark, dark, dark side, with a moon and death, and death was on the road. People, people watched it on the road and they went east out here. Okay, one little something matter, one little mummy, one was a duck with a reddish sea, one was a robot, one was a sea, one was a tower, and one was a boat, a red boat. And then, once, what in the world was a mermaid? This story has gone off the rails.

The end. Once upon a time, maybe a duck would swim in the ocean. There were people on the beach like paddling. They saw a thing pop up. And they sent a shoo! And put it out of the water! And then, suddenly, they got in the car, drove that sack out of their car, they ran that sack out of their car, turned it that way, did some more jacks, and then ran back home.

Throw the door shut, they locked the door, locked all of the doors so nothing would come in. Then something happened. Boom! The house was all dolled. They knew what happened. The electricity went off in their house. And there was somebody who saw a frog turning into a huge frog.

A frog. They saw a frog at the beach and then they were trying to eat it but then it went to... And then something happened. But those little frogs had to say that they're frogs. And then something happened. But I was so sad that I saved the frog. Cheetah! They saved it on anybody.

The cheetah was so sad the frog ran after him. What are you talking about? I don't know what you're saying. The what ran after him? The frog ran after him. The froth? No, the froth. after him. The froth? No, the frost. Frost?

No, frost. A sloth? Yeah. It ran after him. A sloth. I got it. But there were two frogs, so the cheetah went fast. And then the frost got on the cheetah, and the cheetah went so fast, and then he got

in the cheetah's car. The cheetah has a car? It was just a Halloween costume. Who was dressed up like a cheetah? Maybe I don't know. A real cheetah? A real cheetah dressed up like a cheetah? Yeah.

Alright, is this the end of the story? No. When does it end? Because it makes, it's just gone to quick. In 10 minutes. 10 minutes? Oh my goodness. And then something happens.

The animal ran back, but the more it ran, the more it came. What do you see in a biggest come from playing world? I don't know. The end. I want you to tell me one happy Halloween story. Okay, but that one is going to be about us drawing a station on a pumpkin. A mouth on a pumpkin? Yeah, station.

A station. Some ice. Well, tell me the story. Okay, but, but, but, but this one is not real, but. Okay. There was a mummy in this one, but, but there was just a boy, but the boy was dressed up as a mummy. Okay.

But that one, that one one's that's a good one that's a good one. But they're not the end yet. They went to the tree and they won but but they would dress it up as a mummy and he went to a distant house and the only house he saw was a pizza truck And the only house he saw was a pizza truck. The house had a pizza truck? Yeah, the house had a pizza truck. So when he went to the house, it had only pizza. And they were laughing, but it was just pizza everywhere. On the ground, no one was eating except the mummy with the mummy you hit your mummy

not your mummy your mummy oh gotcha you hit your daddy all right is that the end of that story but they didn't know that you were the real mummy There's a real mommy in this story, but we can't talk about that one But there's 10,000 mummies. Oh my goodness All right, go ahead and tell me a happy story, okay, okay one time So sauce Alright, go ahead and tell me a happy story. Okay. Okay. One time in a sauce sauce Oh, and with a two little time out they were playing with dinos Dinos were not silly. So they they won

One put into one silly dino and That's a great story. Thank you. What's good. It's Colleen Witt and eating while broke is back for season three brought to you by the black effect Podcast Network and iHeart Radio. We're serving up some real stories and life lessons from people like Van Lathan, DC Young Fly, Bone Thugs and Harmony, and many more. They're sharing the dishes that got them through their struggles and the wisdom they gained along the way.

We're cooking up something special, so tune in every Thursday. Listen to Eating While Broke on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by State Farm. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. I'm Renee Stubbs, and I'm obsessed with sports, especially tennis. Tune into my podcast each week to hear me and my friends in the community break down the latest matches, including the US Open.

Plus, hear from some of the biggest names in the sport about what the future holds. It's about belief. And once you break through that, then you know you can win a Grand Slam. Listen to the Renee Stubbs Tennis Podcast every Monday on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Presented by Elf Beauty, founding partner of iHeart Women's Sports. Yo, it's Big Bank. Check out my podcast,

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