Tosh Show - My Staff’s Tax Guy - John McLellan

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

Daniel audits John McLellan, a certified CPA with over twenty-five years of experience about everything from lowering tax bills, to surfing in Indonesia, and what it’s like to be a track dad.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, man, what are you into? I have the hookup. The hookup? The hookup for what? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Poppers? Why are there so many poppers? All roads lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to... Yeah, that's a word for it.

Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories

in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show and he's bringing his signature wit and insight podcast or wherever you get your podcasts. shows, correspondents, and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else.

Ready to laugh and stay informed? Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dressing. Dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Oh, that's good. I'm AJ Jacobs and my current obsession is puzzles. And that has given birth to my podcast, The Puzzler. Something about Mary Poppins?

Exactly. This is fun. You can get your daily puzzle nuggets delivered straight to your ears. Listen to The P puzzler every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you look down on people who use TurboTax? No. Tosh Show. Tosh Show.

Tosh Show. Tosh Show. Welcome to Tosh Show! Tosh Show Welcome to Tosh Show Dan Tosh in the driver's seat got Ed Gosling over there. What's up there Daniel? Oh Just trying to control this sweet rig Keep it on the road Daniel. Oh man, I am depleted from Valentine's Day. My goodness. My wife was all over me. I got her a box of chocolate and some roses. And she couldn't have been more horned up.

No, I didn't do that. We went and got massages. Did a couple's massage in the morning. Early morning. It was nice. What did you guys do? Yeah, same thing. I got some massages, did a couples massage in the morning, early morning. It was nice. How's it? What'd you guys do? Yeah, same thing. I got some massages. You didn't do that. Did you go out for Valentine's day?

Yeah, we went to a wrestling tournament. All right. So you did nothing for Valentine's day. Chocolate covered strawberries. Did you get her those for real? Yeah. Oh, you didn't. I did.

Well, they're delicious. They're disgusting. Hand dipped strawberries and chocolate. You went to that fucking stupid store, where flowers are fruit. What's that called? Edible arrangements. You went to edible arrangements?

No, I didn't go to edible. Eddie and I used to have this bit where we would go to edible arrangements. We would order like a hundred dollar bouquet. And then when they were boxing up, we're like, no, no, no, we're gonna eat here. And we would just sit down in the front there. There was not, there's not like a table, but we just started eating the bouquet

and we just eat as much as we could. And they're there and they would act like, oh, you know, some people do that. Completely normal. Without jobs where people's worst nightmares. Pete, did you do anything for Valentine's day? We had fondue at the house. At the house. Guess what?

Pete, we did fondue at the house. At the house, guess what Pete? We did fondue at the house too. Oh my. We did that night with the kids, that was their part. We did fondue with the kids. Oh, about you, John, did you do anything with your wife? Yeah, we got a cake. Kids are into cake right now,

so any cake arrangement that can be made, we make sure to do it. Wait, so you just fucking, wait, you made a cake or you just bought a cake? No, no, no, we bought a Valentine's Day cake and we- What kind of cake is Valentine's Day cake? Did you go red velvet? Oh yeah, red velvet.

Okay. Yeah. All right, I was sticking my nose up at your tradition. You could have gone cherry chip. Hey, I would not call this a tradition. We just- You ever tried cherry chip? I have not. Try cherry chip for the kids. It's a Duncan Hines box. I don't know if they still make it or not. I think it might have been replaced by the sprinkles

Cake, but they used to cherry chip. I used to like that one Dylan. Did you do anything for Valentine's Day? Yeah, watched Pride and Prejudice for the first time for me For me. For me. In love. For me. In love. No. I mean, I just tell you,

I couldn't have been happier with Valentine's Day. I got away with not buying anything. That was, I wasn't gonna get, I'm like, I'm not gonna buy you flowers right now. That's so dumb. Why am I buying flowers for Valentine's Day when every week at the farmer's market, we buy flowers? Right.

Way better flowers. The house has flowers in it. The flowers are expensive too. I know eggs, the price has dropped ever since Trump took over, but flowers, I need him to fix that next. Now that he's got eggs, I'm teasing about the, are eggs cheap? Are they still expensive? No, really expensive. They're really expensive. Oh, I can't believe that hasn't been fixed yet. Well, at least he got the wall done. You know what time of the year it is now.

Now that Valentine's is done, it's time for tax time. Tax time. Gotta get ready for the taxes. How can you live in California with those taxes? I love going on, this is my new favorite thing to kind of poke the bear, is ranting on how much I love California to the listeners that don't love California. By the way, have you spent real time in California? People that constantly shit on it? Because I've spent real time in your horrible towns. I've toured for 30 years. I was born in

a different country. My parents traveled constantly. I moved 15 times before I was in high school. I know the other places. I'm saying you should give my opinion a little bit more weight. I've been poor in California. I've been rich in California. Okay. Oh, but the wildfires and the earthquakes just so expensive the housing You can't buy a house. It's just through the roof. That's why everyone's leaving to Florida. Okay, but don't don't say Florida's better Florida Florida is awful I've lived there and they have to have no income tax to entice people to live there Imagine if Florida was was so expensive, like they had

huge taxes. You think people will be going there? No! But California, the most the most populated state by a mile, and it's expensive. I wonder why. Maybe what my father told me as a child actually is true. You get what you pay for. Oh, there's no income tax in Florida. This is too good to be true. Oh, you're right. It is because there's also hurricanes and red tide. You ever, you ever dealt with red tide? I remember that as a kid, I couldn't go outside for two weeks without just choking on the air. Oh, let's not forget no seams. That's always fun. How about the fact that the entire state is a swamp and every puddle has an alligator

in it. But there's no tax. Did I mention the pollen? Oh, the pollen in Florida. It's lovely. It's on Zyrtack every day of my life. You get what you pay for. Okay.

California's great. It's expensive. Oh yeah. It's because it's great, right? Florida's garbage and there's no income tax. Oh, huh. It kind of makes sense when you lay it out like that. It's all adding up.

Yeah, listen guys, I can talk taxes all day long. That's why I'm excited for today's guest. Enjoy. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro and I've been lucky enough for today's guest. Enjoy. about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buck wild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zoe Chow.

Titanic. Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes

on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? Ow, goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi. Damien. Oh, it was bizarre.

The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since. The hookup. What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a private dick joke until now? Like, no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup. You think it's causing people to turn aggro?

I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to- Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation, I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No. Not my psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either. ["Ghost Therapy"]

Listen to the hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Welcome. My name is Paola Pedrosa, a medium and the host of the Ghost Therapy podcast. Where it's not just about connecting with deceased loved ones. It's about learning through them and their new perspective.

Join me on the Ghost Therapy podcast. Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered. I'm a little nervous. I'm excited, I'm excited, nervous. You know, I'm a very spiritual person, so I'm like, I'm ready and open. That was amazing. I feel so grateful right now. I got to speak to my great-grandmother, my abuela, and she gave me a lot of really good advice that I'm going to have to really think about. Wow, okay. That's crazy. Yes, that is accurate.

Yes, that is accurate. Listen to the Ghost Therapy Podcast as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Y'all, what up? It's your girl Jess Hilarious, and I think it's time to acknowledge that I'm not just a comedian.

It's time to add uncertified therapists to my credentials because each and every Wednesday, I'm fixing your mess on carefully reckless on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Got problems in your relationship? Come to me. Your best friend acting shady? Come to me.

Thinking about cursing that one stank auntie out at the next family gathering? Do it. But come to me before you do because I cussed all mine out before. You wanna fight your coworkers? Come to me. Baby daddy mad because you got a boyfriend? Come to me before you do, because I cussed all mine out before. You want to fight your co-workers? Come to me. Baby daddy mad because you got a boyfriend? Come to me.

Thought you was the father, but you not? Come to me. I can't promise I won't judge you, but I can guarantee that I will help you. As a daughter, a sister, a mother, and an entrepreneur, I've learned a lot in life. So I'm using my own perspective and experiences to help you fix your mess. Send me your situation, and let's fix it as a family. Listen to Carefully Reckless on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Posh show!

My guest today knows every XL shortcut there is, so make sure you've got all your 1099s and W2s in order as we kick off tax season. Now, if you haven't turned the show off yet out of boredom, then please welcome my producer's accountant, John. Hi, how are you doing, Daniel? John, I'm doing good, and thank you for being here. We'll get into the accounting stuff later,

because the other stuff is way more interesting to me. Do you believe in ghosts? Oh yeah. You do? But I would say more spirits. I wouldn't call them ghosts. I don't know if I want my accountant believing in any of this stuff. I want to buy the books the whole way. Growing up in Torrance, what was that like? It was pretty interesting. Got to see a lot of changes. Do you still live in the area? Yeah, still live in the area. Not in no one Torrance, but Redonda Beach. Do you consider Torrance South Bay? Yeah, oh yeah.

I don't. I always feel like they've glommed on. They get that tiny little sliver that hits the water and they say that they're South Bay, but I'm like... Well, there's the beach cities and then there's South Bay. Okay. By the way, growing up in Torrance, middle class, not tons of wealth? No.

No, it's really interesting. I would say at one point upper middle class, because when I was younger, I had a chance to race motocross. And I think pretty much all my dad's extra money went towards allowing me to go racing. And he was a general contractor, a framing contractor. And then he decided he didn't want to do that anymore. He just decided he wanted to be a craftsman

and just have his own private shop and do small projects. And we pivoted, I remember he said, listen, we can't go racing anymore, got me an Apple II computer and a surfboard and said, hey, figure out how to use this thing to play video games. By the way, it's very dangerous. Did you ever have any near death experiences on that bike?

I had a couple of experiences, yeah. Just racing or did you do any of that freestyle stuff in the air? No, no freestyle stuff. So I pretty much rode motocross when I was from seven years old to almost 12, and really excelled at the age 7 to 11 year olds and the 80cc expert in many categories. I didn't know anything about that world other than it was probably exciting. Just think of it as like junior motocrossers. Do you ever be in Max?

Oh yeah, loved it. Absolutely loved it. Do you love the movie Rad? Yes, that was good. That's the right answer. When did you start surfing? Oh God, about 12 years old. Yeah, and where was the first place you surfed?

Avenue Y in Redondo. That was in the 80s? Early 80s. Cold and wetsuits were horrible. Did you have a wetsuit? Oh, yeah. No. See, my dad surfed with my older brother,

and they were surfing in the late 70s. Jerry Lopez was great and fantastic. I remember my dad tried to get me on a surfboard at Doheny Beach, trying to get out there and having fun. But I didn't have a wetsuit. It was cold. It was freezing cold. Then I got a wetsuit and got a bogey board.

And I loved it. Absolutely loved it. I remember my first really good ride. Yeah, on the beach park in the summer. It was great. I grew up surfing. And I've been, I've surfed throughout the world. Never had a bad experience that I couldn't handle.

The only place in my life that I've ever been taken out of the water physically and told not was Redondo Breakwater. That's funny. Isn't that crazy? That is funny, yeah, it's crazy. That is crazy. Those guys were like, and it was like,

it was just two of them out and I went out and they were like, they just- They said, nope, you're not coming just, they started dropping in on me, and then they like, literally like, ushered me to my car, like, you tell you and your homies never to come here. And I'm like, oh, I just moved here from Florida, I don't have any homies. Was it a really big day or a medium, like small day?

Head high. Okay, that's probably why, interesting. Yeah, if it's big, they'll let you go out. Well, you know what, I never went back, cause I was like, you know what? I don't care about your garbage wave. It's a great wave when it's like this last winter and the round of December. It was fantastic. Phenomenal. Is it? It seems to pinch and close out a bunch. But it's gotta be huge. Like, huge, huge. Like, dangerously big. I didn't like it and I didn't care.

And I was like, whatever, you guys, idiots, enjoy your shitty wave. People are so mean. That's the problem with surfing. I've always thought that about surfing. I've loved everything about surfing except the surfers. I'm like, why do you guys have to act like this? The vibes are always, always, they always bother me.

Anyway, not every place. Did you see the transformation of like a Laduna Bay turn into what it is or was it always like that? The Palos Verdes, the locals that like wouldn't allow anyone to ever surf their wave. It's always been like that. Did you ever surf it? I have a special spot I don't disclose

that's kind of on the south side of La Nota Bay. Hagerty's Point's really good. Hagerty's is great. Oh yeah. I've surfed Hagerty's just almost perfect. Oh yeah. And the fun part is night surfing to Hags. I don't enjoy that.

What's your favorite surf spot that you've surfed in the entire planet? Punta Roca at La Libertad in El Salvador. Best wave I've ever got. Right or left? It's all right. Point break? Point break. It's better than Rincon and more consistent.

Oh. Well, sure. Rincon's not consistent. Yeah. It's one of the best. And warm. And warm. Very warm.

Yeah. Who doesn't love a warm, right, point break? When I was really being into surfing in my 30s, I was going to El Salvador, I think we went like eight times. Do you ever have any scary experiences while traveling abroad for surfing? You're like, uh-oh, put ourselves in a bad situation here. Oh, yeah, so I got a good story.

So we're in El Salvador, and we were coming back, and we had a big, we had like a Nissan pickup. All of a sudden we come to our, it was like a makeshift roadblock. Yes, I've been there. And this was not an official roadblock. This was just a bunch of guys with M16s that looked like teenagers. We got really nervous and started sweating. All of a sudden they stopped the truck, get out and started talking to us and all that

stuff. And all they wanted was a ride into town to see if they could take a couple extra guys. And then we were just like, oh my God, okay, yeah, sure, no problem. Jump in the back of the truck. So then we got a ride into town with three military guys with M16s. Okay. I've been in a few places where they've had

the makeshift roadblock, where it's just a chain dragged across the road. You have to stop. And then I and my broken Spanish just like open my wallet and like say, does 20 make that chain go away? And usually it does. And then I'm like on my way and like, hey, and then everybody's good.

But you're always like, I don't mess around with like. So is this in Baja, California? I've done a few of those encounters in Mexico, yeah. See, I wouldn't go to Baja, California anymore. After 40 years old, I said, no way. I brought my family last year. But I can tell you, but the other thing is, Mexico, as we spend a lot of time in the mainland Mexico,

like Mexico City, all the major cities, Monterey, beautiful country, beautiful city. I know. Like, super nice, the beautiful country, beautiful city. I know. Like super nice, the best food in the world. It's really good. I agree. Yeah. I love everything about it.

I think, you know, I'm excited for, for when it becomes part of America. Well, they're going to change the golf, right? I don't know how they're going to like, how they're going to feel about that. They'll be fine. They'll be fine. They'll love it.

You still surf or no? You got injured. Little bit, little bit. You still surf or no? You got injured. Little bit, little bit. You old man surf now? Old man surf now. Do you do like old man, like rich travel, boat trips? No, I wish I would have, but I had a ankle injury when doing motocross.

So that's my other passion, motocross and motorsports. And accounting. Yeah. It's trinity. How did you get into accounting? Oh, God. I was really good at computers. Uh-huh.

And nobody knew how to use computers that well in accounting. And I said, oh my God, this is great. I know how to do this. So I was kind of like, early 90s. And I don't want to be a computer programmer. I thought, oh my God, that's just what you tell. I might as well become an accountant. And the rest is history. Actually, when I went to business school, I saw a really great opportunity, kind of

the shifting towards using technology to really speed things up and be efficient and just latched onto that and used the skills that I had in technology and computers and just applied it to accounting and never looked back. By the way, you went to Loyola, Maramont, you grew up in Torrance, and then you transferred to Cal State Long Beach. Have you ever been outside of your 30 mile zone? Oh yeah, so I had the opportunity to go to Indonesia

and I was working for a nice guy at a palace for his, while I was in college, and he sent me, it was a job opportunity and I learned I was gonna be near Bali and I said, I'll go if I can take three weeks off after the project. How long was the project? Oh, the project was like two, three weeks,

and I got to spend a month in Indonesia, served a place called Gragigen, G-Land, and lived in Bali for two, three months. I mean, that's amazing. Oh, it was amazing. And that's a better, because right now, it's like, it's too crowded, and then I'm guessing it was just heaven. It was phenomenal. What was's not a better, because right now it's like, it's too crowded and then I'm guessing

it was just heaven. Oh, it was phenomenal. What was funny is I had a job offer and the guys wanted me to stay and I said, look, I gotta go back and finish college. You should have stayed. I think everything about you is cool, except the job. Is there anything cool about accounting? Oh yeah.

So the funny thing is most of my time isn't doing really accounting It's talking to people about their lives. Hmm is sitting there just talking to him and asking him. Hey, what happened this year? What's going on? What transactions did you have financially that it impacted you? Are you trying to beat the system at all time? We try to push we try to make sure that people don't pay any more taxes than they legally have to, but we want to keep them out of jail. Well, you said the only person your father respected was his accountant.

Now, I don't want to play like an armchair psychiatrist here, but does any party you think that you got into this oppression to gain your father's respect? Oh, after the fact, yeah. Did you do your parents' taxes? Yeah, after I started going to college and took a couple of classes in taxation, yeah. And they let you see what they made.

Because my dad, if I ever asked my father, even when I was older, how much do you make? Or enough, none of your business. What are you, a cop? Those are the answers I got from my father. Yeah, I'm a cop, dad. I would say I don't think that I had to worry, really worry about that.

They're just so, my dad was so weird about it. And it's like my dad had like a very middle-class family. I always end up getting like years down the road money back because I've overpaid. And I talked to my accountant, like, guys, why are we so conservative all the time that they're like, hey, you paid too much. And they're like, no, that's what we do.

I'm terrified of jail though. The idea of jail. Yeah, no, no, I use that expression because I try to terrify clients. Because the main thing is we want to make sure that you don't get audited. You don't want the nasty letters from IRS. I've been audited twice.

Well, there you go. So you kind of know them. But here's what I've learned. Tell me if this is true or false. Yeah. They used to say that audits were completely random. Then they realized that the IRS, it's wasting too much money auditing poor people. So they stopped that and now they do audit just the wealthy.

Oh, no. On the contrary, they audit the wealthy, they audit people randomly, and they audit poor people. Okay. But you are saying... And I'm not going to they audit poor people. OK. But you are saying? And I'm not going to say not poor people. What they do is they audit, let's say you're in the Malibu zip code. And then you show that you make $10,000 and you don't pay any taxes. How is it that you can afford to live in Malibu

or in the beach communities and not pay any taxes? I don't know. Ask Pierre. Well, there you go. So what they do is they're looking for those people that, wait a sec, you got two houses, you got these cars, you got those, you got all these assets,

and you live in a nice neighborhood, but you don't show that you have any income. But then they also just randomly. And then they randomly pick people. Yeah. I was surprised the amount of time. It took a ton of time, and they didn't find anything, but then they started actually going like, oh, you took a jet to your show in Vegas.

Was everybody that sat on that jet part of your job? It was just crazy how like needling they were trying to get for me. Well, that's their job. No, it isn't. Bunch of jerks. Do you like to say something something just isn't adding up? Or do you prefer fudge the numbers or cook the books? I would say that things don't add up.

We need to fix this. Something's not right here. How many times have you been like this? Something just isn't adding up. Yeah, it doesn't smell right. It doesn't pass the smell test. How many shredders do you own at your office? We don't really shred everything.

We just collect it all and then we take it to the shredder every two, three months. I just didn't know if you guys had like a system, like press a button, guys, they're coming, get rid of everything. This is what I want my accountant to be like. I want my accountant to be like, go, go. Is the IRS broken or no?

It could use some fixing. It could use some fixing. It could use some fixing. What are some of the red flags the IRS is looking for when looking at someone's returns? Disproportionate expenses. Somebody makes a, say they put down, they made $10,000 as a small project, and then they try to write off 50.

Oh man, I know that I sent, because I will spend almost every cent I make To travel places that I want to go to and I'll like I'll come out even that's fine But why are you traveling to go to the place like a vacation that's paid for it's got to be business It's got to be for business. I'm traveling for business But the only reason I'm I will do a show Some places because it's a place that my family wants to go. Does that make sense?

No. Stand-up comedy. That's all I do. So if I want to, my wife wants to go to Portugal, I'm going to do a show in Lisbon for the expats. Oh, okay. Now, if you're doing the show there. I am. Yeah, then okay, sure. Right. All of the money that that show makes, I spend 150% to do the trip.

That's a red flag. Well, it depends on your overall income. The income's not there anymore. I'm just living off the savings. So, thechromos is gonna, if they did come, talk to you. And they say, Daniel, we need to speak to you. They're gonna ask you, so how many days was it for business?

What, one night? And how many days did you stay? 14. Okay, then they're gonna disallow it. You're in trouble. You serious? Ah, this is bad. In 2025 in LA, is it better to rent or buy a home?

Rent. Hmm. Why is accounting so complicated and confusing in this country? Oh, that's a great question. So it's because politicians write the laws, not accountants. I mean, do you actually enjoy your job? Yeah, yeah, I do enjoy my job. The best part of my job, again, is the relationships

and talking to clients and finding out what's going on and really kind of becoming part of people's family over years and years of doing their taxes. How often are they changing the laws, the tax laws? About every two years, but at least every new president. Are things going to get great for us now, for us wealthy people? I wouldn't say that.

Because California is going to get their taxes no matter what. Well, you've got two issues. You've got California taxes, which is some of the highest taxes in the nation. You get the combination of your state taxes and your federal taxes. It can be a lot. If I have a property in, let's just say hypothetically, in Nevada, how much do I have to actually live there

to stop paying California taxes? Over 185 days. And then I can pull out of California completely? Well, no. That has to be the place where you hang your hat. So you've got to live there, hang your hat there, vote there, have a driver's license there, have your cars there, have your kids go to school there. Yeah that's the tough one. Yeah that's the real tough

one. You had me. I could pull off almost all of that until you said school. Yeah. You can't have your kids go to school in Carson City. No. Well you could if you wanted to be gunslingers. No. That's actually not a bad idea. How many social security numbers do you have the ability to sell on the dark web? Oh zero. Oh look at that. What's your favorite number? Eight. That's the dumbest question and I'm glad you answered it. If we needed a way to drastically simplify the tax codes across the board, what would your pitch be?

Get rid of alternative minimum tax. Okay, I don't even know what that means. It's a complicated extra formula that accountants have to go through and figure out your tax returns and eliminate all your deductions and redo your taxes and you have to pay a minimum tax. So you want that eliminated? Oh, that'd be great, yeah. Do you hate Ben Franklin for saying there's nothing certain except for death and taxes? No That's helped my business

Well, how do income taxes work in other countries do they have a more simple system some actually they do but They also pay a lot more taxes believe it or not United States doesn't have that bad a taxes when you compare to Europe. I've always just wrapped my head around I'm gonna lose 50% of every dollar I make and I'm kind of like okay with that. That's a lot. I know, but I'm okay with it. I'm like if I can live off 50% of what every dollar I make then I'm gonna be okay. So that was kind of the goal.

Okay, you may want to talk to your accountant. Nah, I don't want to talk to him. Or maybe he doesn't talk to you, that's a problem. It's just a long conversation. And then I have to pretend like I understand stuff and I don't. Take him surfing. They don't surf.

They're not those kinds of accountants. Charlie don't surf? No, Charlie don't surf. Is there any new laws on the books this year that you're excited about? There's gonna be a lot of changes coming up. Do you have to pass new tests when they change things or just be familiar with the laws?

Actually, we gotta have 40 hours of continuing education every single year. Every year? Every year. Ugh. Oh yeah, school- That alone would make me not wanna be an accountant. Every year having to do 40 hours?

How long does that take? Well, sometimes- Dude, you break it up, like a month? Oh, take... Well, you can do it all over the year, but now you get to travel for it too. Oh, some nerd convention? Is that what you're talking about? Oh, no. Where is this held? Oh, they got them all over the United States. You can go to... Probably the best one that we used to go to was in the south shore of Hawaii on the Honolulu. Oh, yeah, you guys are living it up. Yeah, we try to.

That's pretty good. I think I was able to sneak away during break and get a couple waves. Do you look down on people who use TurboTax? No. No. Should people be able to? No, but I kind of feel bad for them.

Uh-huh. It's just because they just don't know. And they don't know what kind of trouble they're getting themselves into. Nobody should do their own taxes. God, nobody that has make some money. What's the cutoff where it's like, okay, you need to hire a professional accountant

to do your taxes at what income level? I would say if you have the income level to afford a house, then you should be getting somebody to do your taxes. That makes sense. You got investments, you have stocks, you're starting to do your taxes. Okay. That makes sense. You got investments, you have stocks, you're starting to do rental properties. Things are starting to get a little more complicated.

Is your job basically to outsmart the IRS every year? No, it's basically just helping clients so that they don't get in trouble. How late can you actually file? I feel like I never file. I always get an extension every single year. Is that normal? I wouldn't recommend it. I'd recommend filing on time.

It's like every year they're like, yeah, no, you're excited. But you're lucky this year. Why? Things changed. The government's giving relief to anybody in LA County. Because of the fires? Because of the fires.

Oh. What are these people, I mean, do you, I'm guessing that you've experienced people that have had total losses before. I mean, what do they do today? There's going to be a lot of questions, a lot of challenges, because the IRS does let you write off losses if you're out of pocket. So if you're actually out of pocket money from the loss, you're going to be able to take that as tax write-offs. Okay.

So there's going to be a lot of people with the Palisades fire and the Altadena fire, they're gonna need help. Where are you on taxing churches in this country? I'm a huge believer in any church that has over a hundred people that go to it should be taxed. These mega churches where the snake oil salesman rolls around in a Bentley, I'm like, this is nonsense. You don't want to get yourself in trouble.

I understand. No, I'm gonna stay this is nonsense. You don't want to get yourself in trouble I'm gonna stay off that one. I don't want I think the churches should be taxes the Church of Scientology That's just complete nonsense. No pastor should drive in anything nicer than a Honda Accord. That's what I say That's my barometer if your church is making too much money. What about tax taxing a crypto? What about crypto you you have any clients that are taxing crypto? What about crypto? Do you have any clients that are invested into crypto? Yeah, I do. It's a challenge.

I mean, is it, do you- Is it real? First question, is it real? Is it real? Yeah, it's real. I mean, do you understand it completely? Are you invested in crypto? Yeah, yeah, I have some crypto.

Uh-huh. Yeah. All right. Billionaires, are they getting taxed heavily enough or no? Yes. Oh brother. See people don't realize you're a homeowner and you have you have probably a rental property. You pay all these property taxes. You don't think billionaires pay taxes they just pay in other forms. They pay it in payroll taxes, they pay it in property taxes, they're supporting the community with their infrastructure and giving jobs and doing a lot of different things.

But it's interesting that when you talk about taxes, the problem is we got too much taxes at the low level, meaning why are we paying so much in gas? I went to Florida, I think it was like $2.30 a gallon. We make the gas here in California. We got Chevron, Mobil, Arco here. And it's like close to five dollars a gallon. Why? The taxes. Let me tell you something.

If you wanna spend more time driving around in Florida, all the power to you. As someone who is from there and has all their family there, I think the gas should be cheaper to encourage people to get the fuck out. Most places in the world, you buy a home and it's a good investment.

And 30 years later, it's worth more. And that's not true in Florida all the time. Florida, you can buy a home, and in 30 years, it's worth the exact same or less because they built a brand new subdivision just right next to it. And they're like, hey, now let's just make this, these houses look completely shitty.

And there's the new shiny subdivision. So, yeah, they have no income taxes, but there's some other taxes there that they have you on the hook for. Talk about some of the dumb things your clients have tried to write off that you're like, guys, this isn't gonna fly. Probably their dog.

What do you mean? They're like, can I claim my dog as a dependent? Oh, hey, that sounds like Pete over there. And I'm like, I don't think we're the right fit. Do you drop clients? Oh yeah, oh yeah, all the time. You're like, this, this, that won't work? Oh, I try to drop, but every year I just go through the list and say, okay, who needs

to go into probation and who should we just drop? What about, don't you, aren't you so thankful the days of boxes of receipts are over? You know, we still get a few collections. I can't imagine how stupid that is. You know, there's a story is I had a client come in, referral, she brought in two trash bags, two trash bags full of envelopes that had never been opened. Oh, good, I love it.

So I gave it to my staff, opened all this stuff up, and all of a sudden my staff's like, John, John, come here. I'm like, what, what's going on? She's like, is this right? I'm like, what? I said, I think this woman has $40 million. Okay. And I'm like, what? So I call the lady out, I'm like, what? I said, I think this woman has $40 million. Okay.

And I'm like, what? So I called the lady up, I'm like, do you have $40 million? She's like, I hope so. She was testing you guys. No, her husband passed away two, three years prior. I know, she killed him. And she just needed help.

And so we got all our stuff, opened all the envelopes, went through all the paperwork, got her all sorted out. Well, that's pretty, I guess you kept her as a client then. Yeah, she was a pretty good client. It was the best part was just helping somebody out. And you just never know when you start digging through all the paperwork, getting people sorted out,

what you're gonna find sometimes. But usually, now you just have clients that you've had for years and years and years. And so it's not, you're not digging through garbage bags for the most part. No, no, but there, we, you know, we always, we still have what they call the shoe box clients that come in and we still have really old school clients

and we still have cutting edge technology clients that wanted to put, send us everything, the PDF and technology and, you know, give it all to us. Your son was born on tax day. Yeah. Did you plan that? No, he son was born on tax day. Yeah. Did you plan that? No, he was supposed to come the day after actually. I know your son heavily into a cart racing.

Yeah. Now I was infatuated with that world as a child. I didn't get to race. I had a go-cart, I had go-carts, Briggs and Stratton, little, whatever my dad would get me, five horsepower. That was like the biggest engine I ever had. But I was good. I could actually, I was good at racing it.

Just, you know, we'd go to little parks that had little racetracks. My brother, just horrible at it. Every time he got behind the wheel, almost certain death. It's just unbelievable how some people can race and some people can't race. Anyway, your kid now, Apple doesn't fall far from the tree, racing.

Is it terrifying watching him go? Oh no, but I gotta tell you, always nervous on the first turn. Okay. Last weekend he was in Orlando, Florida at the Orlando Kart Center. They had 42 drivers on the track at one time in the grid. When they go into the-

How old is he first of all? He's only 11. Okay. And when did he first of all? He's only 11. Okay. And when did he start? Started at seven. We got him a go-kart on his seventh birthday. When you were buying him these type of toys, there's no way that it was like, no, no,

he should be doing this at this age. Like I always look at things, I have a five year old and it's like, oh, this little power wheel says for eight and up. And I'm like, yeah, he's fine. Let him go for it. Yeah, that's good. OK.

I told him when he was really young, maybe probably three or four years old, I said, hey, you learn how to ride a bicycle without training wheels. I'll get you a motorcycle. What in the world? The greatest dad ever. You should be locked up. All right.

So we're camping in Mammoth, and he's got his bicycle and training wheels. He says, Dad, take the training wheels off. I'm like, what? He takes training wheels off because it was getting stuck in the dirt, and he just starts riding his bike. So I said, OK. So about six months later, I got him a PW50 Yamaha,

little motorcycle, started riding that. Did you tone it down or just let him have it? I let him have it. As is, OK. Yeah, yeah. No, PW50, great starter bike for somebody who wants to get into motorcycling. And he got a bigger bike about a year later,

and he had a bit of an accident. So we went to the motocross track. He ended up going off the track, was going to run into a parked car but slid under the car. OK, I guess that's a good instinct. Well, yeah, it saved him. It scared the heck out of us. You know, after a quick trip to the hospital, I think his mom's like,

hey, can we get him something a little closer to the ground? Let's get him four wheels. So his mom's the one that really pushed to go to the go-karting. Interesting. Yeah. And now I'm guessing that is a horrible, costly hobby that she regrets every day of her life now.

On contrast, she's the one that's like kind of fanatical about it. She wants to go to Europe. She's like, he's going F1. Oh, she's, it's the pageant mom, but for car racing. Oh yeah, it's like, so the funny thing, you think soccer moms are bad? Yeah.

No, no, no, no, no, the cart moms are way more intense. How do you get the cart there? So we have a team, Nash Motorsports, that helps us out. And so when they set up, they have their own tent. It's a mobile shop. They all have anywhere from five to 15 drivers a weekend under their tent. Is there pit stops during his races?

No, so it's an all-out sprint race. So what they'll do is they'll go on for... Final race will be about 20 laps, and they'll do about, you know, sometimes a little less than a minute or just over a minute a lap. I mean, their average lap time, average speeds around 48, 52 miles an hour. Is he burning through tires? Like, oh yeah, tires are crazy race weekend or an event, maybe four sets of tires.

Does anyone else ever use his cart or no? That's his cart. Ah, it's his cart, yeah. Most people have their cart, and then it's set up for their body and their size and their seats just for them. What's the minimum investment to get a sticker on his helmet? Oh, that's, well, happy to talk to anybody. But right now we're...

Okay, all right. I like where this is going. Oh, basically, we're looking for marketing partnerships. Okay. So, instead of sponsorships, we've got a couple years, you know, dad's doing okay, we're taking care of him, but he really needs the marketing partnerships to kind of get to the next level. All right. Well, that I can't help you with. He's going to be turning 12.

He's racing 16-year-old kids. So he just stepped up to the bigger full-size carts. And any F1 driver, they all started here. This is what they did. And is he good? He's actually pretty good, yeah. I mean, how can you tell if a kid is good or not? When you come out and you're racing against all the kids

in North America and you can place and put it up there, it's a challenge. Does he have trophies and stuff like that? Oh, God, he has got room full of trophies. Is his dream to be like a NASCAR racer or Formula One? Formula One. No, look at you, you got a classy family. Well, I don't know about that. And when do you squash his dream?

Probably when he's about 18 years old. Because 18, I'm the big believer that he's gotta want it and he's gotta put the effort into it. Well, I watched that one movie where that guy that played video games became a real F1 racer. Oh yeah, it was a great movie, loved it. Was it? Oh, it's his favorite movie by far.

Well, sure. I took it to him and he was like, oh my God, he loved it. What about the one scene, it was a little tragic, you know, when he almost died. Oh yeah, that's part of the sport. That's why I get my kid, I'm getting my kid into tennis, you know, trying to force tennis on him.

So wait, wait, you're not gonna have your son surf? I want my son to not be afraid of the ocean, and if he loves the ocean, that's a bonus. And he's gonna be competent. I'm gonna teach him how to surf. I teach him how to snowboard, all that stuff. Here's my problem with surfing that I always have. You know, I've got a son and a daughter,

but like surfing is the only sport, and I'm sure it's not, where a 10-year-old kid that can surf good is sitting in the lineup, talking to a 50 year old accountant, talking to a 20 year old drug addict. Like it's, it's a weird world where you're like, you're, you're, and you hear conversations that you normally, if a kid is like into playing baseball, he's just around, you know, his other little 10 year old kids.

I just, that mix of different people, it made me grow up a little too quick, I think. I never had those conversations when I was 12 years old in the water. Come on, you knew about drugs way before other people because of the surfers that you hung out with. No, no, I knew drugs because my older brother. Come on.

And I like, I'm not going that road. Right. OK, but you understand my concern. It makes some sense. I've seen lineups where I'm like, oh, when I see like a young kid in the water and I hear somebody talking, I'm like, hey, knucklehead, shut up.

There's a child here. You know, I think, well, depending on how old your kid is they're gonna hear it They're gonna hear you're not gonna be able to take these if he's 12 years old. He's here and everything is Okay, fine. What about when my daughter let's just say she's 16 years old and she's got a great ass and Now she's paddling around and you know what they paddle around in full suit. That's the all black She's gotta get she's gotta wear a full suit. That's the thing. An all black full suit. She's gotta get a full, she's gotta wear a full suit. If you wanna surf, fine,

but you have to wear a full suit every day because I'm not letting some creep old man paddle up behind ya. Right. These are my concerns. By the way, everybody that's on the show gets a gift. I cannot wait to give you some gifts. Now, this is my first gift.

This is from Bill Allen, the star of Rad. Oh, nice. That's the official double Blu-ray DVD. I don't think you have a DVD player, no one does, but it's just it's a special thing. I'm also giving you from RAD, autographed by Bill Allen, Crew Jones. Oh my god, that's pretty cool. Uh-huh, that is cool. Now let me tell you something else that I was going to give you this today. He gave me the official t-shirt. Oh, that's pretty cool. But I'm not giving it to you. I couldn't get rid of it. You're gonna keep it. I'm gonna keep it. All right.

But I just, I was like, aw. Is that at Extra Small Boys for you? No, no. What are you talking about? I'm huge! He took a shot. He took a shot. John took a shot at me. That's fine. This, this is a Tosh show hat that didn't get approved by our merch department. But you're gonna have it. So I got the one that the reject? Yeah, we're not gonna use that one. All right.

Get that off my desk, you're gonna love this. Okay, I'll be sure to give that to somebody. You give it to somebody, that was a nice gift. You're ready for this gift? Yes. Okay, I don't know if your son's gonna want this or if you're gonna need it for. I'll be sure to give that somebody you give it to somebody that was a nice gift. You're ready for this gift Yes, okay I don't know if your son's gonna want this or if you're gonna need it for tickets F1. I can't wait to give this this This was like

$300 now my wife's cousin bought me this for Christmas this year and I was so mad at him I was like, why would I want this and it's the same guy? He remember that time I had that little thing? Is this Fousey's? No, it says Coolio. I don't know, not the rapper. Hold on, let me explain this to you. He first invented this chapstick holder, cooler,

and I thought, whatever, I use it, I like it, fine. But now he invented this thing. This thing has like a battery charger for your phone Speaker place it has like a built-in cooler. I go you want me to walk around with a refrigerator on my back I'm a you it's an appliance. This is an appliance. This backpack is 300 bucks never been used Yeah, there's like look feel that there's like battery charger. If I was a big tailgater and- That's what I'm talking about, the cart racing. But, but, but we don't do, no, we can-

No, no, you're gonna love it. No, because I can't, I can't have any alcohol. So I can't even have alcohol on the grid. John, this doesn't have to have alcohol. You have sparkling water, okay? You're gonna, you're gonna love it. Your son's gonna love this. He's gonna think it's neat.

When you say, where's your producer? Can I give it to your executive producer? No, no, this is a tax write-up for me to give away. I'll get a regift. You can't regift this. By the way, the size of this thing, you would think that the cooler portion is huge. Oh, it also floats.

It also floats, and it's waterproof. So it's like... That's the whole thing on the inside. It just holds a six-pack. He got me this, and he was mad at me immediately because I was like, I hate it. It's a good zipper. Oh, that zipper's so hard.

Well, it's cause it's waterproof. Now I could see a purpose for this. Good, John. Not for me. No, John, give this to your client. I can think of, I can, you know. You're gonna find a client that's gonna need this. Look at that thing.

Why would he think I want to walk around with a refrigerator on my back? I can tell you where. This is perfect for you. When you go surfing and you get to spend the day at the beach. You're being rude right now John. I got you this gift. You're welcome. Thank you. It's a really wonderful gift. That is one of the most interesting gifts I've ever received. And the guy that gave to me, his name is John, who also gave me these and I don't want these either. Do you cook?

No. No, you're gonna love this then. I don't cook at all. I hate the smell of vinegar. These are like these, they're all sealed. They're like flavored vinegar you're supposed to add to your, while you're cooking. This one's red miso, you know,

this one looks like it's open. This one's turmeric vinegar. This one's black garlic vinegar Did you get stuck with the white elephant gift? What no this is I don't want these John, but I just thought they would go with the cooler Thank you because he bought me both of these things here. Let's stick it in the cooler, please No, they don't need to be cool here. Just sure okay. Why don't we just you know who's gonna want those I have no idea What is this John it's somebody's business okay, so don't I just... Do you know who's gonna want those? I have no idea. What the... What is this? John, it's somebody's business, okay?

So don't shit on it. It's all right, I'm not gonna say anything. It's good. Just take it home. Thank you. Thank you. Do you discourage your clients from bad ideas, like investing, or do you just let them do what they want?

Oh God, no, I just, I try to discourage them. Okay. Yeah. So many times I come up with ideas and I'm just like, they're like, well, if you think that's what you should do. And I'm like, guys, I need you to tell me to knock it off. No, if it's a bad idea, I tell clients all the time. That's good.

So give me one of your ideas. What was one of your ideas that got kind of a bad idea? I started a clothing line. That was a bad idea. Shouldn't have done that. No, did you have a restaurant ever? No. That's a tough business to say.

No. I'm always terrified of when I'm gonna stop working and like lose my business managers because I'm like, I don't know how to do anything. And I think the system is set up for us to not know how to do anything so that we're dependent on outside sources. I don't think, I think it system is set up for us to not know how to do anything so that we're dependent on outside sources. I don't think, I think it's just everybody should specialize on whatever they do, stick on what they do.

Like, I don't go work on my cars anymore. If you could. I could. You can tinker. I could tinker, but you know, I'm not going to go work on cars. I'm an accountant. You're an accountant. Do you say that when you're at the track yelling at your kids? To cut somebody off No, but I told other dads like I'm just counting. I don't know what the heck's going on Have you ever gone to the the f1 race in Vegas now? No, no I have no that one haven't actually been I've been to the Indy car races in Long Beach forget any but but that Vegas

Track that they set up on the street that goes down the strip yeah incredible that was well it was incredible but the traffic that they created to create that core but it's worth it it for who not for me and then when I'm trying to get my fan of F1 trying to get to my my casino gig now I got to take a 45 minute ride that used to be a five minute you don't have a helicopter no I don't have a helicopter? No. I don't have a helicopter. I need a helicopter. Get these guys to get you a helicopter. Yeah, that's what podcasters are for.

Helicopter money. Is rubbing racing, is that still a term? Yeah, it's a little term. They side pod a little bit. Do they? Yeah. Is there drafting in kart racing? There is.

It's a big thing. Actually, if it's on a big, long track, you need the draft. It might... If you get a draft behind somebody else, it might be three, four tenths. And you think, what's four tenths of a second? Well, you take four tenths, and then all of a sudden you're doing ten laps. Oh, no. Here goes your math nerd stuff.

Yeah, then you're like four... Then at the finish line, you're four seconds ahead of the guy. That's pretty good. Well, I'll just say, if anybody's interested about his racing or looking into stuff, it's John John Racer. You named him after Florence? No. No, but I do like John Florence.

He's a super cool guy. Everybody in our family is pretty much named John. I had a cousin named John Box. And when I was growing up, I called him John John. Super nice guy. I loved him. And my dad's name's John. My name's John.

And, uh... The same with my father-in-law. It's so weird. He makes everyone in their family do John. And the guy that gave you that cooler that you're gonna love, his name is John John. His name's John. Oh, his name's John John? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Look at that. Or just a bunch of John. It's weird that that's the name that always goes, gets passed on forever. My mom called me John John. She did? Yeah. You're a John John too.

Ah, good stuff. All right, John, thank you very much for being on the show. John, my pleasure. Thank you. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Brat City, and Narcos, and Roadhouse, and so many commercials about back pain.

And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough. Get Ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians to tell them a buckwild tale from across history and time. People like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Zoe Chow. Titanic.

Charles Manson. Alcatraz. Asada Shakur. The sketchy guy named Steve. It's giving funny true crime. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Do you remember what you said the first night I came over here? How goes lower? I met Santi at a luau party in October. I'm Santi, Damien. Oh, it was bizarre. The guy just disappeared one day. Santi has been missing ever since. The hookup, What is that? I'm solving a mystery through sex and haven't made a

private dick joke until now? Like no matter how hard I try, all roads lead to... The hookup? You think it's causing people to turn aggro? I'm gonna rip your arms off and use them to f- Yeah, that's a word for it. This is such terrible representation, I'm so sorry. Poppers? These aren't just any poppers. Mama always used to say, God gave me gumption in place of a gag reflex. No, my psychiatrist didn't laugh at that one either.

Listen to The Hookup on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Yo, what up? It's your girl Jess Hilarious, and I think it's time to acknowledge that I'm not just a comedian. It's time to add uncertified therapists to my credentials

because each and every Wednesday, I'm fixing your mess on carefully reckless on the Black Effect Podcast Network. Got problems in your relationship? Come to me. Your best friend acting shady? Come to me. Thinking about cursing that one stank auntie out

at the next family gathering? Do it. But come to me before you do, because I cussed all mine out before. You wanna fight your coworkers? Come to me. Baby daddy mad because you got a boyfriend? Come to me.

Thought you was the father, but you not? Come to me. I can't promise I won't judge you, but I can come to me. Thought you was the father, but you not, come to me. I can't promise I won't judge you, but I can guarantee that I will help you. As a daughter, a sister, a mother, and an entrepreneur, I've learned a lot in life. So I'm using my own perspective and experiences to help you fix your mess.

Send me your situation and let's fix it as a family. Listen to Carefully Reckless on the Black Effect Podcast Network, iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome. My name is Paola Pedroza, a medium and the host of the Ghost Therapy podcast, where it's not just about connecting with deceased loved ones. It's about learning through them and their new perspective. Join me on the Ghost Therapy podcast.

Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered. their new perspective. Join me on the Ghost Therapy Podcast. Whoa, my lights in my living room just flickered. I'm a little nervous. I'm excited. I'm excited, nervous. You know, I'm a very spiritual person, so I'm like, I'm ready and open. That was amazing. I feel so grateful right now. I got to speak to my great-grandmother, Abuela,

and she gave me a lot of really good advice that I'm going to have to really think about. Wow. Okay. That's crazy. Yes, that is accurate. Listen to the Ghost Therapy Podcast as part of the MyCultura Podcast Network, available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I want to thank John for filing all the taxes for the good, honest, definitely not cheating employees of Toss Show.

How are you filing, Carl? You got any dependents? No? All right. Let's plug away. We got the Tosh show store.com. You got Eddie's tour and my tour. We're adding shows. Hey, Carl, guess what?

Going to Portugal. Yes, we are. Lisbon. I couldn't be more excited to see you So please buy a ticket. So my agent stops calling me every day saying hey, have you learned Portuguese yet? I'm like I'm working on it. I think it's time to do our free plug hit the free plug music. Oh Little big band. This week's free plug is for a retirement community called Watermere at Round Rock in Round Rock, Texas. You ever been to Round Rock?

I have. Oh, outside of Dallas? North of Austin. North of Austin. Yep. That's Waco. Is it in between Waco and Austin? Yeah. Okay. So you got Waco, then you got Watermere, then you got Austin.

So if you're in Austin, you want to, you know, your young, cool person, bring your grandparents here to Watermere. You can get them in for 2,500 bucks a month. That's the starting rate. That's going to be, that's not going to be that special, but you know, it depends on how old they are. If they're really old, they're not going to know the difference. You don't need to get a suite.

The place is 55 and up. So it's crazy to me to think I could move into retirement community in six years. How old are you Ed? I'll be 55 in May. In May, you can move into this place. Roll in there. That is so where I live now. Waterm me is the area's newest premier retirement community for active senior adults featuring

customizable lifestyle options that means if you're someone that's like listen, I Just want to stay in and eat jello. We've got a plan for you But if you're somebody listen, I just want to go out and bang for you but if you're somebody listen I just want to go out and bang every widow that's on my floor well they probably got something they have social clubs where they got educational workshops check social clubs check even game night I love a game night Carl Carl! Come on, man. We're talking about a retirement community. Anyway, I'm excited that Watermere at Round Rock is now accepting old people, ages 55 and up. Alright, see you next week.

Hey man, what are you into? I have the hookup. The hookup? The hookup for what? See you next week! and use them to- Yeah, that's a word for it. ["I Heart Radio App"] Listen to the hookup on the I Heart Radio App, Apple podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows. Hi, I'm Arturo Castro, and I've been lucky enough to do stuff like Broad City and Narcos and Roadhouse. And now I'm starting a podcast because honestly, guys, I don't feel the space is crowded enough.

Get ready for Greatest Escapes, a new comedy podcast about the wildest true escape stories in history. Each week I'll be sitting down with some of the most hilarious actors and writers and comedians, people like Ed Helms, Diane Guerrero, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I love storytelling and I love you, so I can't wait. Listen and subscribe to Greatest Escapes on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. is escapes on the iHeartRadio app, correspondents, and contributors. And with extended interviews and exclusive weekly headline roundups, this podcast gives you content you won't find anywhere else. Ready to laugh and stay informed?

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Dressing. Dressing. Oh, French dressing. Exactly. Oh, that's good. I'm AJ Jacobs and my current obsession is puzzles. And that has given birth to my podcast, The Puzzler. Something about Mary Poppins?

Exactly. This is fun. You can get your daily puzzle nuggets delivered straight to your ears. Listen to the puzzler every day on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.