Tosh Show - My Topical Hot Takes! - Emergency Pod

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

Daniel breaks his silence on current events after a big news week.  

Hey guys, it's me, Daniel. Do me a solid. I don't ask for a lot, but like and subscribe to this podcast. Also, you could rate it. Highly, I would appreciate, maybe even write a review. Maybe we we'll become best friends. Tosh show. Tosh show. Tosh show for show. Hey guys, Daniel Tosh here, host of the Tosh show. Unfortunately, um, somber times are upon us as a nation and uh i usually don't step outside of my lane i usually stay

stay stay stay in the comedy lane only rarely do i put my blinker on to uh controversyville you know i live my life with blinders on i live in a bubble i'm out of touch happily i don't want to be in in touch with some of the raw emotions that I've been feeling and I shy away from sharing them for the simple fact that I don't want to turn one of my subscribers off so I just bottle it and I bury it and that's not healthy and I honestly think that I owe it to each and every one of you that tunes in every single week for one of my soon-to-be award-winning podcasts so I am going to weigh in on recent tragic events. Eddie, hit the sirens.

Bwap, bwerep, bwerep, bwerep. All right, thank you, Eddie. Good job. Hey, I can't wait to hear your take. I don't list political violence. What? No idea what you're talking about, Eddie. No, I'm talking about Florida Gators, being the bottom dwellers of the SEC. It's got my father-in-law, s's idle.

It's not eating, won't take my calls anymore. There's rumors that he's spending a... as Saturdays watching F-1 time trials. Let's see if I can get him on the horn. Hello. There he is. There he is. He's here.

Go ahead. There he is. How are you holding up? It's pretty stressful. I have to be truthful. Very disappointed. What are you disappointed in? I assumed you're calling to make me e-crow about the mighty gators.

Oh, man, the mighty gaiters. It's weird that you still call them the mighty gators. We're definitely mighty. Oh, are you... Bad right now. Are you scared that real programs are going to start making Florida a staple for their non-conference pad the record portion of their schedule? Yeah, for sure, yes.

The LSU game was ridiculous, but not as bad as losing the USF. How much did the gators pay USF? 500 grand, apparently. They paid them $500,000 to come to the stadium. And beat us and make everybody make 90,000 people miserable. That one was bad. You're not going to beat anybody, Daniel, throwing five picks. Well, that was the LSU game.

You guys were throwing the ball all over the place. Yeah, boy. But we get Miami this week. Now, Miami, if you recall, Miami just played those South Florida Bulls, and they beat them by almost 40 points. And you lost to them at home. So I'm guessing the line for this game was around 50? That I haven't seen yet

I'll take that one If you want to put a bet on that one You can give me the Gators in 50 I'll take it You want plus 50 So are you think you have Do you have a shot at Miami this year or no Sure

Absolutely They're laughing I hear you guys laughing Your lone win was against Long Island University Now is it too late for Florida To play in whatever conference they're in We'd be undefeated

Yeah that'd be great What did you do wrong against LSU? Because in the first half, I honestly thought, I mean, you were right there. I don't know, just a meltdown by the quarterback. The defense gave up 10 points, which isn't bad. Yeah, I didn't think it was bad. I honestly didn't think it was bad. I was like, all right, they're playing them real in Death Valley.

Yeah, you can't throw five picks. You can't win junior high throwing five picks. How did it make you feel that when Brian Kelly was getting grilled for only beating you guys by 10 points? Yeah, well, the LSU press is just as bad, I'm sure, as Florida's. They were expecting a wipeout. Would you consider the Gators the fifth or six best college team in the state of Florida right now? Let me see, let me see, one, two, three, four. Are you going to throw your UCF boys in there to be in front of us?

Are they undefeated with Scott Frost back? They are. I don't know, are they? Yes, they are. So you got Miami, you got FSU, you got USF, you got UCF. I say Florida International, they got a better record than you guys. Florida Atlantic has got the same crappy record as you at one and two. I think you're slightly above Bethune Cookman.

The Wildcats. Yeah, they got... Yeah, I'm going to go fifth. How's that? That's not bad to be in the top five in a state that has a lot of good schools. There you go. Yeah, yeah. We're very proud right now.

Here, let's listen to what you said just a few weeks ago when I called you. Before the... This is before... Before you played the Bulls in Gainesville, the U.S.F. South Florida Bulls, and I flagged it. Here's what you said. Nine and three. We will not make the SEC championship, but we might make the first nine and three team in the playoffs. Okay.

I think we're a top 12 team. All right. We're loaded, man. Loaded. I don't think you get past South Florida next week. Okay. So a few things I'd like to take away from you. You still have a chance to be at nine and three.

That's the upside. Do you believe that you will finish the season? in nine and three. At this point, it looks unlikely. Okay. Next, next thing. You said that you are loaded with tons of talent. Do you still believe that? I do. That is true. We have a lot of good players. What happened? What about that one guy likes to spit on people's faces? What was that about? Still on the team. Yeah, that's bad. You guys, you guys didn't punish him, did you? You needed him for the game, so you kept him in. He sat out? He sat out? A little bit. A little. I don't know How much, maybe I have.

What, he sat out, sat out the offensive place? No, he sat out. Okay. And he publicly apologized personally to the player he spit on for what that's worth. All right. You sit at one and two. Let's go through the remainder of your schedule here. You got Miami this week.

Are you going to win that game? Possibly. Okay. Then home against Texas. I have you losing to Miami. I have you getting blown out by Miami. Then I have you losing to Texas. Where are you at on Texas?

Arches struggling. We're going to win Texas Okay, I have you losing it next at A&M We'll beat That's tough That's a toss-up I'm gonna go we beat A&M Okay, I have you winning at Mississippi State

Let's hope so Okay Then I have you losing to Georgia And that's in Jacksonville, right? Well, originally I thought we're beating Georgia this year But it's not looking good No, we're gonna lose I'll go with that

Kentucky I got you as a coin flip Yeah, I'd be a tough one We could beat them, of course Okay, Ole Miss I got you losing to Old Miss Yeah, I had Ole Miss And they want revenge, yeah Okay, I got you losing to Tennessee

Wow And I got you losing to FSU No, we beat FSU So I got you, I got you win in two games You got us at four, three and eight, three and nine I have you win in Mississippi State Everything else I could be talked into Kentucky

And I could give you three wins but I got you winning two or three games max this year. All right, so we're going to make another bet? No, no, no. You've lost. Do you think you can pull off a 500 record with that schedule? For sure. Absolutely.

Doubling down. Doubling down. All right. Well, I think it's going to be a historic turn of a season. Regardless, at the end of the season, you'll still owe Billy Napier $22.8 million for the next three years. I just want to say, bravo to Florida for locking up some inbred country bumpkin. Yeah, yeah, we're going to own some money whenever he goes away. It gets a little less every year.

Don't you think there's one, like, wealthy Florida booster that could just postpone some of their MAGA donations for a year or two and pay him off? I think there's more than one Florida donor that would do that. Here's what you said about Billy at the beginning of this calendar year. Hold on. I'm not going to say that, are you? Hold on. Play this for him. We love Billy.

Play it again for him. We love Billy. I'm thinking that's some kind of AI No, that's just you saying We love Billy Yeah, yeah Well, we did till he misled us again That's eight months ago

You get fooled by Billy every year I know You start the season And you're mad at him Then you immediately go No, no He's right of the ship Everything's great

And then you're like Oh no, here we go again Here's the one thing that we can say The team is better Talent-wise His coaching isn't better But the team's better I thought the talent

would overwhelm the coaching, but apparently it is not. Do you think he should just be a recruiter for UF? I think he should maybe be the CEO of the program. What about getting... There is such a thing. What about getting old dry hump coach back? No, I don't want McElwain. No.

No, not that dry humper. Not that dry humper. Urban, should. We don't... Excuse me, language. We take urban in a heartbeat. Are you kidding me? Yeah, why won't he come back? He loves dry humping those girls down in Gaines.

Bill. Oh, God. I don't know on Urban, but we would take him, believe me, with open arms. Is it too late? Should you just focus on the Florida's water polo team this season? Because they look good. They've finished in the top ten at Nationals the past three years. I think this could be their year. You know you're making that up. No water polo at Florida. But go ahead. What about Dante Lorenzo is a beast? Who is that? It was in your newsletter that you sent the family. Oh, my God. You tell them you guys, you guys don't have water polo?

No, uh-uh. Oh, they do. What are you talking? He's saying they, we're saying we do. We looked it up. Yeah, Greg, they have water polo. It may be a club team. It's not a, it's not an NCAA team.

Oh, it's a club team, not an NCAA team. Yeah, it's not an official sport at UF. Hey, oh, you know what I have for you? What? I interviewed today the, the sweetest ladies. They own the Solvang Bakery. and they make these exotic gingerbread houses. But anyway, they knew, they had listened to the episode of you

and knew that you were a fan of gross candy, as I like to call it. Here's what they sent you. They sent you two packages of NECO wafers. Nice. They sent you a bag of hot tamales. The best. I think these are gum drops. Fantastic.

And then some other ones that are bigger than gum drops. They look just equally. like they're going to rip out any of your crowns or whatever you have in your mouth. But they say you a whole bag of candy. They couldn't have been, it even says for Daniel's father-in-law on the bag. That's very sweet. That's very sweet. And the good news about that candy is I won't go bad, so I'll just leave it for you in the guesthouse.

That'd be great. I'm looking forward to that. And whenever you come back, yeah, you'll love it. All right. Well, listen, I look forward to talking to you midway through the, uh, Miami game this weekend. Yeah. Gotta be great.

Okay. All right. Talk to you. Okay, Daniel. Boy. Well, Ed. He's a fan. I'll give him that.

He stays positive, doesn't he? He does. He sees it. He sees the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, what was it? You were telling me about some political violence? I forgot about it. All right.

Hit the sirens. Wea, whee, whee, whee, whew.