Tosh Show - My Tour Life

Episode Date: July 16, 2024

Daniel gives a taste of what life on the road is like while he’s on tour.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello and welcome to Haunting, Purgatory's premiere podcast. I'm your host, Teresa. We'll be bringing you different ghost stories each week straight from the person who experienced it firsthand. Some will be unsettling, some unnerving, some even downright terrifying. But all of them will be totally true. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Thursday. My shows are usually around an hour in five minutes to an hour and 30 minutes. And usually if I'm doing really poorly, that'll be an hour and a half. Because I keep thinking, oh no, eventually they'll like me. Tosh Show!

Tosh Show! Tosh Show. Tosh Show, Tosh Show. Welcome to another episode of Tosh Show. I'm Daniel Tosh, with me as always always my partner in crime, Eddie the Hurricane, Gosling. Coming at you. Yeah, there he is. Eddie, Eddie, we call Eddie step on it. He'll step on you. I step step on you, then I wait. There's a big pause and it seems like I'm not.

Here's the thing, Eddie. Let me tell you something about the big pause. I can pull up a big pause. What I can't pull up is you stepping on things. You know what I'm saying? I do. The big pause, that's only uncomfortable for us in here. People at home, they don't know about the big pause.

Clip it. You just wait, then you're like, oh, okay, now I'm gonna time it. You see, you didn't get your full intro. Eddie the Hurricane. I'm not even sure that's what I said. You did. No, okay.

You know, there are fans that have been clamoring for more Eddie time. Some people said, oh, why don't you guys put a camera on them? I'll tell you why we don't put a camera on them. I don't fucking want to buy another camera. That's reason one. I got to buy another camera just to put it on Eddie. Second reason, I think there's only one reason.

It's also more to edit. Yep. Right. It's more to edit and I don't want to do that. We were trying, we're trying to streamline this process until this show becomes a huge juggernaut and we can employ thousands of people. Cause right now it's just, it's just the three people and all they do is go, I don't think you realize how much it actually takes to do this each week.

I mean, we're basically putting out an Academy Award winning film every single Tuesday. I'm like, oh man, geez. So, there's no camera in Eddie's future. We're just gonna put that dumb still of him up that I'm sure he made himself. I did. Eddie loves to Photoshop himself doing things.

See that crown on, looks pretty good. Do you own that crown? I did. Eddie loves to Photoshop himself doing things. He's got a crown on, looks pretty good. Mm-hmm. Do you own that crown? I do. Oh, okay, so it was an actual practical crown. Practical crown from Party City. Ha ha ha. I love the plug.

Good plug, Ed. Yeah. Here's something that you might not know about Eddie. When he farts, the sound that comes out of him is confusing. It's a talent. When he farts, the sound that comes out of him is confusing. It's a talent. Well, I mean, the thing, a lot of people think his voice doesn't match him. They're like, oh, that, that can't be his real voice. And I'm like, wow, that just, that's just always what he sounded like to me.

So it doesn't strike me as odd. Do people say that to you, Eddie, that your voice is, sounds different? Yeah, they say a little high. Huh? I, it does. Yeah, I guess I've just known you too long. I don't think anything of your voice, but your farts. They sound, I mean, I don't know how to describe it.

I think we're just gonna have to let one rip. I mean, there's where the bass is. Ha ha ha, it's like if you were to boil a pot of mud. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, that's pretty good. That sounds about right. And record it. Yeah, you married a comedian. How long have you been married to Megan?

21 years. 21 years. Was marrying a comedian a good idea? I mean, it's worked out for us, but definitely when we were dating, we kept it quiet because comics, you know, they're gonna roast you maybe. You put out Christmas albums way too often.

Well, I have one album that I add new songs to every year. I'm your secret Santa. First I've got a secret for you. I was in DC on January. on January 6th. You create Christmas songs every year. I do. A lot of them are hostile toward our friends in Israel. Is that fair to say?

I would say no. There's been no hostility towards the Israelis. All right. I do have that one song. You're a big believer thatility towards the Israelis. All right. Well, I do have that, you know, I do have that one song. You're a big believer that Christmas is the best. It's the best. And nobody else should compete

when it comes to holiday songs. Hands off, everybody. And they're funny songs, right? I don't like them. I don't like funny songs. We've always said that. It's just, they're not funny. Yeah.

By the way, are your songs legal? Like you've made all the music so it's, you're not stolen like riffs? I licensed the music and... Wait, you licensed, so it's not your, you didn't create your own music? Nope, I have no musical talent. Oh, so it isn't your music. So if they became a hit,

somebody else would be getting paid for this? They would get, they'd be getting paid for this? They would get, they'd be partially paid for it. Yes. Oh man, Ed, I thought you were tinkering the whole way through. Nope. This is going to be the, this is the episode where you're going to get to know Eddie a little better because this is not a traditional episode.

I am going to go over the tour that we just got off of. Now, Eddie was on the tour with me. He was opening up the shows. Usually does around 18 minutes up top. We usually hold, if the show's gonna start at 7.30, we usually hold about 15 minutes before we start just to make sure everybody's settled. Don't like Eddie going out to an audience

that's just fine in their seats. We want them to be settled. And then Ed goes out there, hits them with some best of. I'm married with a couple of kids, so it's nice not to be there right now. It's a lot of work, man. I see why dads leave now. Now I get it. Not saying it's right. Before I had kids, I was on board with you. Like, that's wrong. You shouldn't do that. before I had kids. I was on board with you like that's wrong You shouldn't do that then I had kids. I'm like I fucking get it This is a bit much Maybe I'll take a break come back at 13 when the kids show some aptitude for sports. I

Used to have a lot of different openers open with us, you know, sometimes they would just like work out new material and I just I would just get furious material and I would just get furious. I'd quote Todd Glass, if you're not using your best of material on my shows, then when are you using it? You wanna know what life is like on tour? Enjoy. Greetings ghouls and girls and welcome to Haunting,

Purgatory's premiere podcast for all things afterlife. I'm your host, Tereza. We'll be bringing you different ghost stories each week straight from the person who experienced it firsthand. Some will be unsettling. When she was with her imaginary friend, she would turn and look at you and you felt like something else was looking at you too. Some unnerving the more I looked at it. I realized that the some look more like a claw like a demon

Some even downright terrifying the things that I saw heard felt in that house were purely demonic But all of them will be totally true. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you live and get your podcasts. From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White, and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented new audio mystery. Does this murder make me look gay? Master Vandy is dead!

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Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like, I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're going to love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly.

I wonder what is inside of them. We've decided because we are grown consenting adults that we're going to read a book every single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books or cookbooks. And we discuss them in

nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on and listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Now, normally when I go on tour, I bring my entire circus. That's the dogs, the children, and the wife. You know, a lot of them tours are months long. This one was just a week in different city every night, couple shows a night. My wife was like, I don't wanna go. And so she kept my daughter, and I kept my son.

It was boys versus girls. And I gave her the dogs, because she doesn't feel safe at home without my dog constantly barking. We left day of the first show, headed to Louisville, Kentucky. We landed and our bus was waiting for us. Now we had a tour bus. We were using Hart, the music group Hart.

You guys familiar with Hart? Yeah. What's one of their songs? That's, yeah, we're familiar with the name. Oh, you just know them. That's what, I don't know. Maybe name. Yeah. Oh, you just know them. That's what I don't know. Maybe it was the bus driver.

He drives hard. I don't know if it was their bus. It was a rented bus. We rented a bus. It was beautiful. It was all black, no logos. That's what I like on the outside. One push out.

That's where the living room goes an extra three feet out, but makes all the difference on the inside. And that's our common area. That's where we eat. That's where we hang out. Two big TVs, watch our sports. Then there's the bunk area. You can set that up to be three bunks, which only gives you about this much space.

So you're really lying in a casket in that scenario. Or you can make it just two on each side and that's a little better. That's for Pete, Eddie, and my son likes to just play in one. And then my son and I, we slept in the back room. And that has a, it's like a queen bed, but a corner of it's cut off. I put him next to the wall and we just hope for the best. When you're on a bus, you have to sleep feet first because whenever impending death is near, you don't want to just snap your neck right away.

You want to give yourself a fighting chance when you hit something. I think that's the rule. Anyway, Louisville, we didn't even get a hotel. We just flew there, took the bus to the venue. My son and I backstage, semi gross. It's a pretty old theater. The Palace Theater seats about 2,600. We're downstairs in my green room,

you know, I'm getting him ready for bed before the show, getting him in pajamas, we're taking a quick shower, and I'm just like, oh, if somebody busted in to this green room and saw me backstage showering with a five-year-old, they'd be like, that's exactly what I thought was going on back here. Eddie, what age did you stop showering with your kids? I mean, had to be around five, yeah.

Both of them? Mmm, no, probably. I think that was Megan's job with Mia. Maybe she did that. See, I showered with both my kids. Might have done a couple years with Mia. Like, my son knows the difference between a penis and a vagina. Like, and Lord knows I didn't know that.

We're just like, we're all just, everybody's just naked in the showers all the time. It's gotta stop, right? Getting clean, yeah. We got, when's it gonna stop? It's, I guess it's gonna be soon. It's probably when his first friend makes fun of him for showering with me.

And I just also, I don't want my parenting to be judged too much here, but I kept my son on West Coast time the whole time. Because those normal bedtimes, eight o'clock, what is that, so nine, 10, 11, that's 11 o'clock Eastern. So he could basically stay up for the shows and then sleep till nine in the morning every day.

And Eddie, over there, Eddie steps off stage and my son is just waiting there just to either hit him, take a sword and try to fight him, and they go hang out on the bus, wait for dinner to come. And as soon as I get off stage, we eat dinner and then we go to bed. That's pretty much the routine. My shows are usually around an hour in five minutes

to an hour and 30 minutes. That's about the range. You know, usually if I'm doing really poorly, that'll be an hour and a half. Because I keep thinking, oh no, eventually they'll like me if I just stay up here long enough. But the second I say good night,

there's no, oh, I'm gonna come back out and give you five more. I walk off stage, I beeline out the back door, onto the bus, onto the next city. That's it. Nothing. I'm not hanging out. I'm not talking.

I'm not meeting fans. Sometimes somebody will scream. They've been waiting out and they'll be like, Hey, can we get a quick photo? And I'll do it. I'll do, I'll do those people that have waited for a photo. But there's no like meet and greet. Meet and greets now are just cash grabs. You know that?

People like, oh, you pay extra for a seat to talk to the performer afterwards. I won't do that. I don't like money or people enough. Louisville surprisingly went well. Show was good, show was fun. Did you like that show? Yeah, I did.

I thought the venue was fine. It played well. Right. Want to know what we had for dinner? We had at Bucks. I had a Kentucky Lawyer. That's pan-seared lobster tail over mashed potatoes and asparagus finished with a bourbon cream pan sauce.

That's what I had from Bucks. Then we were heading off to Indianapolis after that, which was a fun theater. The place that we performed out there, the theater has multiple theaters inside of it. The first time I performed there, you know, I don't know, 15 years ago at this larger venue, I didn't get to do the main pretty theater, the Murat Theater that seats 2,500.

We did two shows there that night. years ago at this larger venue. I didn't get to do the main pretty theater, the Murat Theater that seats 2,500. We did two shows there that night. But the first time I played it, I played like a ballroom that had big round tables, eight people sit at each table. It was weird. But I went there the night before and I watched Henry Rollins perform. I was just like, what am I doing, man?

And then I was watching him, I was like, what is he doing? I'm not sure, I don't know, it's not comedy really, right? Isn't it? I don't think so. Is it inspirational, but like with an edge? Yeah, well anyway, by the way, the marquee out front was great because it's at Daniel Tosh Sold Out. But that was only the first show,

the second show it wasn't sold out. But I thought it was cool. Like people were like, oh man, I can't get tickets. I'm like, yeah, you really could. In the, in the, in general, downtown, it started off kind of a nightmare. I'd wanted to find a toy store. I don't bring toys for my kid on tour.

We just find a toy store. We buy a couple of toys and that's what he plays with and he's excited about that. We found this mall downtown, it was like three levels, every single store is closed, but there was a toy store that was open at the top and it was, you know, had enough stuff in it. I just let him look. I wasn't even going to push him and like, Hey, did you pick something out? Just let him go. Killed an hour and a half. It was great.

He was just picking up every single toy for an hour and a half in that toy store. And I was like, I don't care. Take as long as you want. He's like, do I need to make a decision? I'm like, nope. I ended up buying a few games myself. Bought them Racco Jr.

We started playing that on the bus. But anyway, so that mall was disgusting. It really was, disgusting mall, but it killed our, our timing was perfect. The Strawberry Festival was going on in Indianapolis. I don't know if you're familiar with strawberries, but they're not local to Indy in any way, shape or form, but that's where the Strawberry Festival was.

Everyone in the city or the state was lined up to get strawberry shortcake. It wasn't even free. I thought, oh, this is why this line is so crazy. No, no, it's like 10 bucks. And you get a scoop of vanilla, whipped cream, a biscuit and strawberries. And everyone was walking around with them.

It looked delicious. My bus driver got one. He said he thought about getting me one, didn't. At least he told me about it. Then we headed off to Michigan to a fire keeper's casino. You know, and they never, when you arrive at these casinos, you're always ushered through the back, the belly of the beast. And that's as awful as you can imagine.

As, you know, bright neon lights and I'm, it's in the middle of the night. I'm trying to keep my kid asleep. And that's awful. You know, as we go through the kitchen and then a million different hallways to eventually get to our room. And then the key doesn't work. The casino was nice, they took care of us. I had the presidential suite, had a piano in my room.

That's always fun. Although this time, Pete messed up because he normally, these security guards, usher us through the belly of the beast all the way up a private elevator. And by private elevator, I mean the gross, disgusting elevator that the staff uses. That's not really called a private elevator. That's just a service elevator. But this time they walked us right to the main elevators and we got in and then they're like,

well, you guys can, you guys know how elevators work. We'll see you later. And the doors just closed and they weren't in there. Well, so we didn't get to tip them. So they probably were like, well, fuck these guys. Weren't if they're not going to tip us, like you're supposed to tip everybody. Anyway, Pete thought they were walking us to the room. We meant to tip you fire Firekeepers Casino Security. Now, I'm gonna be honest with you.

Anytime you're performing on these casino gigs, not talking about Vegas, just these random reservation casinos, the shows don't always go great because a lot of tickets get given to people that don't really know what your show is about. So my show, if you have no idea going in and then I'm ranting about abortion for 15 minutes, that's like, whoa, what do we walk into? Here's another thing about the reservation casinos that you need when you're performing there.

Here's another thing about the reservation casinos, that you need, when you're performing there, sometimes in the front row, you might have an unruly person. And if you're sitting in the front row, that really affects the show. If you're being, you know, a little unruly or loud, even if it's, if you think it's being positive, it affects the show in a negative way.

Well, at a lot of the Indian reservation casinos shows, the front row is saved for a lot of elders. And what that means is if that person is being unruled and I want them out of the show, they're not going anywhere. No one gets to kick them out. That's their seat land. I don't know. You get what I'm saying. So I'm aware of that at all times. So I'm always trying to like, you know, it's like riding a wild horse. I probably shouldn't use that analogy either, but you get what I'm saying. It's like, oh, this could go off the reservation real quickly. That's probably the wrong word too.

You get what I'm trying to say. This could go off the rails real quickly. So you take the money and run is basically what I'm saying. Now you say, well, why do you take those gigs if you don't want to? They pay so well. And you don't have to sell the tickets.

They don't care. It's just a flat fee. So that always becomes very appealing. Let me tell you something about the fire keepers casino. My son, he asked, he didn't want any more toys. When I say he gets toys, I'm telling you, we got three dumb little things on the whole tour. But we were like, he was like,

I want something else to snuggle at night, like a lovey, a stuffed animal. I said, OK, we'll go to the gift shop here. So then we go down to the casino floor and I say, where's the gift shop? And they're like, it's over there, but you're not allowed to go there with a child. I'm like, what? And they're like, oh, you have to walk through the casino floor and kids aren't allowed on the casino floor. I'm like, so you tell me I can't bring my kid, my five year old into the gift shop? And he's like, yeah, that's what I'm telling you. I'm like, that seems weird.

That seems like a design problem. I understand that my five year old isn't allowed to play roulette, but he should be able to go into a gift shop. And they're like, well, you can't walk on casino floors. I'm like, when rules are stupid, I do get angry. And I didn't ask to break them. I just told my son, just sit here,

and if anybody ask where your parents are, just say they're trying to make a better life for me. No, I didn't do it. So I found Pete, he was eating breakfast. I said, here, watch my kid. I'm gonna run to this gift shop. And I bought my kid a backpack that was like a monkey. It was like a monkey backpack.

And then we cut the straps off. And then he just had a monkey that had a zipper on him that you could put things in. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, a kid's not smart enough to figure out that there wasn't really toys. So my son and I were sitting in the jacuzzi together and he said, you know, I should have told,

and he's talking about the security officer, I should have told him that I'm 66. I'm like, oh, that would have worked if you'd have told him you were 66. So he was playing along. We then went for a bike ride just around the parking lot of the casino. And almost immediately everywhere we went, we had a security guard come up to us and tell us we were not allowed to ride our bikes here.

And we're like, okay, well, yeah. And this is when I do it. I'm not going to say that I don't do it. I'm not, I'm not proud. I'm go, I don't say, do you know who I am? I do say, hey, I'm Daniel Tosh. I'm performing here this evening. And just wanted to get my son a little exercise.

Can you get the fuck away from me? You cheap piece of shit. No, I'll fucking buy you. No, but I, you know, I say, I say, hey, I'm performing here and I'm just trying to get a little exercise, a little sunlight. So can we ride in this parking lot? They're okay, but not in this parking lot. Go to the other one.

I'm like, all right, whatever. Then we ordered, you know, like monsters for breakfast. My son and I, we just got, just ordered everything. French toast, you know, omelets. He just wants to eat bacon, just tons of bacon. I'm like, do it, buddy. Legally Blonde was on. I'm like, let's watch this.

He's like, I don't think this is appropriate. I'm like, mom's not here. Shut up. Anyway, next night we were off to Detroit. And I don't stay in Detroit. And for obvious reasons, downtown can be a little depressing. We were in Birmingham outside of Detroit. Just beautiful, cute little town.

They were doing yoga in the park. Guy immediately came up to me and was like, Hey, Daniel, you and your son should come to, we're going to do kids yoga in a little bit. I'm like, this is wonderful. Couldn't find a toy store, found a paper source. Those places aren't toy stores, but they've got a few loveys in there. So that gets my kid excited.

And then I say, hey, we're not gonna buy anything here. And he throws a tantrum, whatever. Also, we weren't bike riding. It was good. And then that show that night, the Fox Theater, you know, it was a 5,000 seater, and it's just breathtaking, beautiful, too big for me.

It makes me a little uncomfortable. I think there was two people in the front row that were appalled by my set. That put me in a weird head space. But the show was fun, the theater is beautiful, people in Detroit are great. I mean, they're great, but we were there the right week, when it's not miserable hot and it's not you

know whatever the six months of misery that they lived through in the winter. Guess what we had for dinner in Detroit. John, you want to take a guess what we had for dinner? Oh man, I bet you had pizza. You thought we had pizza in Detroit? No. First, let me say something about Detroit style pizza. You don't get to say that you have come up with a style of pizza if it's just the shape. You didn't come up with rectangles. Oh, it's Detroit style. What?

That's just a shape. No, we had sushi. We ate sushi in Detroit. Guess what? It was good. And we all ordered too much and we saved the sushi in the bus refrigerator, which sometimes goes out and we all ate it again the next day.

No one got sick, no one pooped in the bus. No one pooped on the bus, including my five year old son. We always made it to a hotel or backstage at the theater. After Detroit, headed over to Columbus, we stayed on the campus, that one hotel at Ohio State. So that's kind of weird, but it was like really close to the venue. But what's weird is then the next morning,

which was Father's Day, my son and I are eating in their restaurant, which is just a cafeteria. It was completely empty. They had no music on and just like some kid that doesn't have a dad that decided to work that shift. And he's like, what do you guys want? I'm like, I don't French toast. I'm like, I'll just, that was, that was the only meal I pulled my phone out. I was like, here. I told my kid, just watch something. This'll all be over soon. Then we went on a long bike ride. We rode around campus, it was beautiful.

Just, we went everywhere, went to like a reflecting pond, drove, we dotted the eye of our cocks. We dotted the eye, what did we do? We just went all over campus. We dotted the eye. What did we do? We just went all over campus. Ohio State is beautiful. And that show that night, we did two shows that night. But see, that night was Sunday night

and I didn't want to do a late show because I wanted to get back home. We were flying home right after the show. So we added a show, but we added at five o'clock. Now the problem with adding a show at five o'clock is it's beautiful outside and there's just something about saying the horrible things that I say on stage to people that are like, it's five o'clock, man.

Remember my rider that you have to have like a veggie tray? I've got to update this because it's getting, people are just buying shitty veggie trays that just look sad So I have to get like get better vegetables There's got to be a better way to word how I want my vegetables to look, you know, I want colorful Cauliflower the purple one, you know, I want I want fancy carrots Not just you know, the little nubs you throw in your kid's lunchbox and he fucking wings at some other kid. But anyway, and then I asked for the two candles. Columbus, screw this up, two big fat Yankee candles.

Oh, is that where they're from? Is Yankee candles from Columbus? It's disgusting. Didn't light those, didn't use them. Better candles, guys. One time I broke down and had fast food on the tour for a lunch, and it was the fastest of fast food. Any guesses? What do you think, John? What do you think it was?

I think you had... The fastest of fast foods. So fast. Oh, I bet you had Chick-fil-A. No, that's not the fastest of fast foods. So fast. Oh, I bet you had Chick-fil-A. No, that's not the fastest of fast food. So fast, smells are free. This is definitely gonna be a new sponsor of the show when they find out that I'm plugging them.

I had the turkey tom. Oh. What place do we eat at? You got this, John. You got this, John. Think about it. Hold on, hold on. Okay. The turkey Tom.

Smells are free. The pickles, they spear them, but they give you the whole deal. She's big. Mmm. Oh God. I don't know. It's called Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's.

Dummy. Your name's in it. Your name. Oh man. We had Jimmy John's and Jimmy John's. Dummy. Your name's in it. Your name. Oh man. We had Jimmy John's and it was delicious. Oh, and then that night when we flew home, we stopped at a, or we picked up from this Mexican place that I like.

But the last time that I was there, seven years ago when I was performing at Ohio State, I was with Greg Hawn, comedian, and he met us at this place for lunch, and we were already eating. And he comes in, and again, I don't know why things infuriate me, but this does. He's one of these people that will ask the server whether they like, and I'm like, who gives a fuck what this person that has this job likes at this restaurant? You know nothing about them. Their opinion is meaningless.

Anyway, we're all eating. Greg Hawn comes in late, sits down, and he's big energy, and the server comes up, oh, what would you like? And he's like, what do you like here? She's like, well, I like the nachos. Okay, fair enough. He goes, oh, great, that sounds good.

I'll have two of those. He ordered two nachos. Nachos, just like you would think at a restaurant where they're shareable for six people, he orders two massive plates of nachos. That wasn't a taco. It wasn't even a burrito. A burrito, ordering two burritos at a Mexican restaurant would be ridiculous.

Ordering two nachos, I just stared at him. Of course he didn't remotely finish eating the second one. I don't even think he started on it, but I just sat there and I watched him. Just the whole time, mouth agape. Like, hmm? You had to order two nachos, right? All in all, a successful tour.

My son, the champ of the tour, totally handled it. On the last night, he went to the bathroom in the venue in Columbus and then fell asleep on the bus. And then the bus went to the airport and I carried him into his plane seat, strapped him in, still asleep, all the way home, landed, unstrapped him, put him in my car, drove him home, put him into bed, still asleep,

woke up 7.30 in the morning, and was like, ah, what happened? Just 15 things he missed. Just slept through the whole thing. I was like, yeah, good for you kid. All right. Best venue. What was your favorite show?

It would be the ones that, uh, the Murat theater in Indianapolis. No doubt about it. Both shows great. Both shows Indianapolis. They win probably the best shows. Well, I appreciate you having me on. Greetings ghouls and girls and welcome to Haunting, Purgatory's premiere podcast for all things afterlife.

I'm your host, Teresa. We'll be bringing you different ghost stories each week, straight from the person who experienced it first hand. Some will be unsettling. When she was with her imaginary friend, she would turn and look at you and you felt like something else was looking at you too. Some unnerving. The more I looked at it, I realized that the thumb looked more like a claw, like a demon.

Some even downright terrifying. The things that I saw, heard, felt in that house were purely demonic. But all of them will be totally true. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you live and get your podcasts. From the writer of Amazon Prime's Red, White, and Royal Blue comes a hilarious and demented

new audio mystery, Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? Master Vandy is dead! Then it's probable that whoever killed Vandy is in this very room. Lock her up. Lock her up. You killed your daddy. You don't get anything fizzy. 911, what's your emergency? I'm in the Monroe estate and I just caught a murderer. Yes, I'll hold.

Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Douglas Sills, Cheyenne Jackson, Robyn Day Jesus, Frankie Grande, Sean Patrick Doyle, Jonathan Freeman, Douglas Sills, Cheyenne Jackson, Robyn DeJesus, Frankie Grande, Sean Patrick Doyle, Brad Oscar, Nathan Lee Graham, Seth Rudetsky, Leah Delaria, Lea Salonga,

and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferry. Raaawr! Lick em, lick those toesies. Raaawr! Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay as part of the Outspoken Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

It's time for a brand new podcast. Do you love weird pop culture facts? Like I don't know, what is Tori Spelling's favorite salad? Well, then you're going to love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Steven and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes and Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I'm gonna love the podcast I do with my best friend, Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily. You've probably seen books at Barnes & Noble and thought, uh, those look silly. I wonder what is inside of them.

We've decided, because we are grown consenting adults, that we're gonna read a book every single week. And here we are. You probably don't have time to read books. Let us do it for you. We discuss the inner workings of the minds of these authors at great detail. From Abraham Lincoln to Lauren Graham, John Stamos to Sylvia Plath, we cover lots of celebrities' books, be they memoirs, poetry, children's books, or cookbooks.

And we discuss them in nauseating detail. It's pretty academic. It's basically literary criticism. So get your degree, put your glasses on. And listen to Celebrity Book Club with Stephen and Lily on the iHeartRadioApp, Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Pa Show! Carl, we missed you on tour, but you stayed home and you protected my wife and my daughter,

and I appreciate that. Carl and I, guess what we did this morning? What'd you do? Went to a Bible study, not on purpose. We were eating breakfast. I took him for a walk and I was getting a little breakfast sandwich and I was sitting by this coffee shop and then next to us was a group of men having a Bible study. And I just thought, good for them for doing it, but also, it's so weird to do it in public. I guess you're supposed to be proud of what you believe, but just to hear all of their

stuff for so long. One guy was a former baseball player and he was like tired of the grind. He wasn't letting anybody else talk. He was dominating. But he was like, I could go down to Mexico and play, but I think I might take this coaching job in Oregon. But I just don't know what God wants me to do. And then I felt selfish because I wasn't praying enough. And I was like, why would God tell me the answer unless I prayed every day? I can't just pray once a week and expect to have good things come. And I was just like, well, I don't think that's how it works. But I couldn't stop listening.

And I was like, fine, let's go ruin my morning. I'm now in a Bible study. Carl couldn't have cared less. As well, he shouldn't care knowing that all dogs go to heaven as it's written. You think you're going to heaven? Not unless you stop with that coprophagia diet of yours. Ugh, it's disgusting. The Goat is available all episodes on Prime. Watch it. Check out boyswearpink.com. If you have a toddler in your life, come see me do stand up.

If I'm near you or if I'm not just fly to see me. Come to Hawaii. Let's go. Thanksgiving. Let's have fun. Um, my son, another bedtime story? Let's do it again next week, guys. Enjoy, wait, see you next week.

All right, go ahead and tell me one. Once upon a time in a far away song but the psalmer and his parable, every day there were those psalmans in the deep ocean seers, that every day they could see every sin the driveway and onto the door a big huge Ty-O-D. The Ty-O-D didn't know how to break down and they say, run! They didn't know how, they told us to get my truck! And then, the end. Hello and welcome to Haunting, Purgatory's premier podcast. I'm your host, Tereza.

We'll be bringing you different ghost stories each week straight from the person who experienced it firsthand. Some will be unsettling, some unnerving, some even downright terrifying. But all of them will be totally true. Listen to Haunting on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. From iHeart Podcasts comes Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? 911, what's your emergency?

My Stavante is dead! Featuring the star-studded talents of Michael Urie, Jonathan Freeman, Frankie Grande, Cheyenne Jackson, Robin de Jesus, and Kate McKinnon as Angela Lansferry. Rrrrroop! Lick em, lick those toesies. Rrrroop! Listen to Does This Murder Make Me Look Gay? as part of the Outspoken Network, on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Curious about queer sexuality, cruising, and expanding your horizons? Hit play on the sex-positive and deeply entertaining podcast Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Join hosts Gabe Gonzalez and Chris Patterson-Rosso as they explore queer sex, cruising, relationships, and culture in the new iHeart podcast, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. Sniffy's Cruising Confessions will broaden minds and help you pursue your true goals. You can listen to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions, sponsored by Gilead, now on the iHeart Radio app, or wherever you get your podcasts.

New episodes every Thursday.