Tosh Show - My wellness guru

Episode Date: November 28, 2023

Daniel discusses his mental health with the voice behind your meditation practice, wellness expert Rosie Acosta.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner. Rob called me, so would Edo Brein and asked me what I knew about this crime. We'll ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president. Then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Kill JFK on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. My name is Payne Lindsay. Throughout my career, I've had the chance to travel all over the place, investigating true crimes, researching the unexplained, and I've been able to meet some of the most
Starting point is 00:00:40 truly interesting people, and I've decided to sit down with them and pick their brains. We're going to talk about life, death, unsolved crimes, the supernatural. There's something here, truly something going on. And honestly, just whatever the hell is on our minds. Wait a minute, you should be very happy, you want? This is Talking to Death. New episodes of Talking to Death are available now. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey there podcast fans, Michael Lewis here, host of the Pushkin Show against the Rules. I want to tell you about a very special series we're doing called Judging Sam,
Starting point is 00:01:16 the trial of Sam Bankman-Free. SBF, the former CEO of crypto exchange Exchange FTX is being tried for financial crimes. I'll be following the trial that decides his fate. Judging Sam starts October 2nd. Listen to Judging Sam, the trial of Sam Beckman-Free in the Against the Rules feed on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Have you ever gone to like a silent retreat? Yeah, I've been to, I've been to lots of silent retreats. Have you? No, fucking way. Well, I'm just, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:01:52 It's such a, first of all, I don't even believe in yoga. Let me just say that. So you're not ever gonna go to a yoga retreat. No, no, those things are dumb. Those, and there's always like two celebrities walking around that everybody talks about. Can you believe so and so is there the whole time? He's so wonderful.
Starting point is 00:02:07 What? Shut the fuck up. Tosh show. Tosh show. Tosh show, Tosh show. Welcome to another episode of Tosh show. Man, I'm just churning these things out lately. Eddie, how are you today?
Starting point is 00:02:26 Doing great. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. I'm excited. Ask me why I'm excited, Eddie. Why are you excited, Daniel? Because my family has gone. My wife's family, my in-laws were in town visiting, and that's always nice when they leave. Here's, let me give you a great hack if you're in a position where you're going to for this. I always pay for my in-laws travel. I book it. That way there's no, oh, because you tell me, like, oh, you're going to come out for four days and it's like, oh, yeah, oh yeah, we decided it was cheaper. We saved $80 if we stayed for a month. It's like, no, no, I booked their travel
Starting point is 00:03:10 and I booked them on a direct flight, Tampa to LA. And then I put them on the direct flight home. I always put them on a nicer seat on the way out. You want their energy and their mood to be good when they get here, because Lord knows I got six days ago on, I'd say the time zone. Oh, I have a few complaints. I'll tell you another thing. It was insane that happened. My, my father-in-law, I walk out to the living room and he's just sitting there and I'm like, Hey, you're, you're sitting on a throw pillow. Like, it was like, it's just a couch
Starting point is 00:03:46 with a couple throw pillows in the corners and he had one down flat and was sitting, not like kind of half, like just flat out sitting on a, that's insane, right? You boost your cushion. Well, that's funny, you say that. That's funny, you say a booze, because he is a short man.
Starting point is 00:04:04 So maybe he was doing it to give himself a little lift. All I know is that's what I napp on. And now I've got pink eye. I know it, but I do napp on it. Like don't, you don't fucking sit on someone's throw pillows. That's crazy, right? It's basement behavior. No, you don't know everything about now. I'm just gonna go to a list of things they do to bother me. Her family, every last one of them, I always like secretly give her eye contact to point it out because she does it too. They don't push in chairs. Ever. They get up from a chair, they've moved to chair, they never put it back where it was. Here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:04:46 I have OCD. You know, I'm very organized. I like things clean. I like things in their place. I also don't like saying thank you, so I'd rather people not do things for me, just so I don't have to say thank you. That's, I know, that's on me, that's insane. I've got a lot of issues.
Starting point is 00:05:07 But they, oh, hey, can we do the dishes? Can we help clean up? No, I don't want to spend the next two weeks trying to find wherever the fuck you put my stuff. They're always like, oh, we just want to be easy. Oh, Maggie, don't. I don't want to be easy. Just tell me what you want to eat, and I'll make it appear.
Starting point is 00:05:26 And don't say, oh, we just want to hang out. You're not gonna just hang out. But let's do something, let's go somewhere. The amount of times that is walk in and see four of them just staring at their phones on my couch, it's infuriating. I don't know who they're texting. They're all the people that they know are in the room.
Starting point is 00:05:44 Do we have any videos this week? Yeah, we do have a video. Oh, all right, play that. There you go, buddy. Woo! This video is brought to you by Chipotle. I can't imagine Chipotle would sponsor us, but for real, if you want to, play that video again.
Starting point is 00:06:10 Sandra not. This is very common on the Venice boardwalk. Remember the first time I saw someone shitting on the street was like, when I moved out here, I was like, oh, this place is great. Today's guest is a mental health expert. Mental health is so in right now. It's definitely what the cool kids are talking about. And something our parents never did, like global warming,
Starting point is 00:06:39 and eating ass. And that funny how we just talk openly about eating ass. And all of a sudden, a, such a difference. Commitions for the most part aren't exactly known for their mental health, which I'm okay with. I don't meditate either. I don't wanna be alone with my thoughts.
Starting point is 00:06:56 I get furious if I go to the bathroom and I forgot my phone. Why do I wanna talk to a wellness guru when I like being grumpy? Because she has the greatest voice. Enjoy. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history.
Starting point is 00:07:14 That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, so would Ado Brein and asked me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging. To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story. And on this podcast, you're going to hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. Well, last, who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president? My dad, 5JFK, screwed us at the Bay of Pigs, and then he screwed us after the Cuban Missile Crisis. We'll reveal why Lee Harvey Oswald isn't who they said he was.
Starting point is 00:07:50 I was under the impression that Lee was being trained for a specific operation, then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the I Heartart Radio app Apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts I've got a fitness in Jackson and I'm Charlie Webster the podcast surviving alchapo the twins who brought down a drug lord returns for a second season and picks white back up with Pete and Jay Flores taking their first steps on US soil after turning themselves into the US government.
Starting point is 00:08:26 When the plane landed, I think it was the first time I ever felt like, why are we doing this? You'll hear details from the twins 14-year prison sentence, and what it was like to go head to head against El Chapo in court. It was so ugly to be in a courtroom. I'm anxious and worried, and I'm sick to my stomach. No matter what, whenever I'm at the lab, you're still staring at me. Join 50 and I as we bring you the epic conclusion of this podcast.
Starting point is 00:08:56 We'll bring you right up to date as the consequences of the twins' decisions now fall on their wives. Maybe I don't know how you're looking up to 10 years in prison, and that's a real number. Surviving no chapel. Listen to season 2. On our hard radio app. Apple Podcasts or wherever you get podcasts. My name is Payne Lindsay, and just like pretty much everyone else on the internet, I make podcasts.
Starting point is 00:09:22 Throughout my career, I've had the chance to travel all over the place. Investigating true crimes, researching the unexplained, I've been able to meet some of the most truly interesting people. And I've decided to sit down with them and pick their brains. We're going to talk about life, death, unsolved crimes, Bob wrote the cadaver note in his own words he had murdered Susan Furman. Why do they were so obsessed with dark people like that? It's maybe part of human nature. The supernatural, there's something here,
Starting point is 00:09:49 truly something going on. Our biggest fears, mental health, pop culture. Just a adrenaline being on a film set is incredible. And honestly, just whatever the hell is on our minds. Wait a minute, we should be very happy with you. You want to see us? This is Talking to Death. New episodes of Talking to Death are available now.
Starting point is 00:10:07 Listen on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Pasha! Alright, if you're a person with crippling anxiety, then you will recognize the soothing voice of today's guest. She's my favorite mental wellness coach even though I've never used one. Please welcome Rosie. I'm not, I didn't wear shoes for you today because I felt like that was like that was like that was like that.
Starting point is 00:10:33 Oh, you thought I was going to come, you know, I love when I come in and just be like totally zen and like soft spoken. I think in general, you're gonna have to speak to me like I'm an idiot the whole time. If I were just like to meet you and say, what do you do for a living? How would you describe it? I'm an author, so I'm a writer.
Starting point is 00:10:52 I teach mindfulness and meditation and I teach yoga and I, I, a wellness coach. Basically, my world is encompassed by this intention that I have to empower people to become well. Do you ever blow up in a rage and like yell? Oh, of course. Okay. I don't know if you're like always peaceful.
Starting point is 00:11:13 Well, I know, but I didn't know if your wellness trumped your roots. Oh, no, it doesn't. I still, the UCLA is still in there. Just because I'm polysyllabic doesn't mean that I don't get hood. I don't, I don't even use the term hood. Hahaha. How much does headspace pay you? Oh, I mean, did you start out rocking there or no?
Starting point is 00:11:35 No, no, no, I just started with them. I've only been at headspace for about a year, but I was doing my own stuff prior to that. And then they came calling to you? Do you have a different voice that you use for when you're like on the app? No, you know what's interesting is that I don't and I think that that's why a lot of my students like to do my practices because I don't change into, okay, now we're going to, although some people might like that.
Starting point is 00:12:04 I do, I like that. I'd like you to come over to read to my kids at night. Oh, that would like that. I do, I like that. I'd like you to come over to read to my kids at night. Oh, that would be nice. I'd love to do that. I've done that before for my students. Because there's a lot of... You just call people your students anyone that listens to you?
Starting point is 00:12:14 Well, there's specific students that have been practicing with me for many years, but I would just say my friends, I think everybody's my friend. Your students, how much do they pay you? Yeah, take that. For many years, they can't, everybody's my friend. Your students, how much do they just pay you? Yeah, take that. For many years, they can't, there's no end. And there's no end to it.
Starting point is 00:12:30 I mean, there is an end, oh, there is a point where I graduate them. Okay. And they move on or forward with all the tools, because I mean, truly, you hire a coach for a short amount of time, right? Because if your coach is doing their job, then they will empower you to learn what you need to learn, and then you can move on. If somebody, if you hire somebody and they're like,
Starting point is 00:12:54 oh, we're gonna be working together for the next decade. I mean, decades aren't that long. If I knew you could fix me in a decade, I'd give it a shot, but I don't think you could. So I'm not going to start the exercise. There's actually this book that one of my like mentors wrote, does he have Stephen Caltler? I don't know, you may or may not have heard of him.
Starting point is 00:13:13 I've never heard of him. He has a book called Nar Country that he just wrote, and it's all about the longevity of aging and how you can in fact teach an old dog new trick. And that's like scientific studies. You're gonna hold books just to say that? Hold up, just to say that. Geez, what a page turner.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Um, do you ever meditate to recordings of your own voice? No. No? I don't like to listen to the sound of my voice. This is the first question I asked every guest. Okay. Do you believe in ghosts? A hundred percent.
Starting point is 00:13:43 I don't know. It's like I have two sides of my brain that one side can believe something or see something that's kind of unexplainable and then the other side that's like, there's no possible way that that is possible. Could you give me one example of something that you've seen that's unexplainable? Okay, I'll tell you a quick story. So when my boyfriend and I first started dating, there was a lot of weird things happening around the house,
Starting point is 00:14:09 just very strange lights turning off. That kind of thing, which, OK, you can explain it away. But there was this one incident that happened. We were sitting across from each other. We were in the tub. We were taking a bath. I know. It's fine. We have a the tub. We're taking a bath. I know. It's fine. We have
Starting point is 00:14:25 a croissant. We're sitting across from each other and he was drinking a glass of wine. And as we were talking, I see this like misty shadow hand kind of reach across his face. And I saw the fingertips of this like misty dark hand grab the top of the wine glass like that. And then you just hear crack, crack, crack. And then he grabs the wine glass and he picks it up and reaches for the top of the rim of the glass and just pulls it off. Like it was laser cut off of the wine glass. I've pictures of this I can show you because I've told everybody this story to try and debunk it. Right. Like, how did that happen?
Starting point is 00:15:09 I hear, I mean, if you want me to, it didn't happen, you're nuts. I imagine the whole thing, okay. I mean, you buy shitty wine glasses could be another explanation. Right, that's true, maybe. Are you like an amazing, happy person outside of your work? This is a great question, by the way.
Starting point is 00:15:28 Because I always think it's funny when people just assume that because somebody's job is to teach people how to be more present, that they're like the most present people, have no problems, are so not reactive. And for me, it's the complete opposite. Like you're a mess. Oh yeah, I do the complete opposite. Oh, you're a mess? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:46 I do what I do because of how big of a mess I am. Huh. Yeah. I don't want to hear that at all. Do you meditate every day for yourself? Every day, of course. Yeah. I assumed, but I didn't know.
Starting point is 00:15:58 Yeah, I do. And for how long? Typically, like 45 minutes to an hour. For you, oh my goodness, that's insanity. Is that too long or too short? No, it's too long. For somebody that teaches. Really?
Starting point is 00:16:12 It's so crazy. Tell me what the resistance is because we were just talking about this. I, I mean, you know that meditation is good for you. I'm gonna say yes, I know that. Okay. I'm gonna say that everything that you probably think I should do, I know I should do, and I completely refuse it. Okay. What my my son is is in preschool and they have raky once a week. They have meditation
Starting point is 00:16:40 every day. And I just laugh and they send me videos of my son holding crystals and just peacefully sitting there and having good thoughts. And it's just the sweetest thing. I can bring me to tears every time I watch it. It's just the cutest. And I just think about the childhood I had, which was my dad saying, hey, go grab the ping-pong paddle. I'm going to spank you right now. Like just
Starting point is 00:17:08 very different. Yeah, very different. My sense is as you're talking about your son holding the crystals and like in the state that you think it's silly. Oh, it's silly. But you also think it's sweet. But also for you, you can't imagine yourself doing that. Never do that. Have you ever tried it? Yeah. And tell me what happened. I don't think I think it was just like my sort of daydream or I fell asleep. But what happens? Why the resistance to meditation? I would just rather watch something on TV. Like what happens in your mind when you're sitting there? I don't I don't first of all I don't it's not like I'm trying to. Yes. Okay. For how long? As long until I'm yelled at to do something. How long is that typically? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:46 I mean, it depends. Some of the hide, I go places just so that nobody in the family knows where my aunt. What happens if one, are you, what are you doing when you're hiding? Trying to sleep. So you're, but are you, but that could be a meditation. Right. As long as sleeping is considered meditation, I love it. I think that naps are considered.
Starting point is 00:18:06 What do you think of crystals? Just the dumbest thing in the world? I'm kind of on the fence because I almost feel like they're, it's like the placebo effect, you know? I mean, some people really believe that they can harness energy. Right. But some people are dumb. I mean, there's two crystal shops near my house. Oh, I too. I have
Starting point is 00:18:29 somebody that represents me. I'm not going to say who. All right, but they were they've worked closely with me in my career for over 27 years. They're, they're which, first of all, okay, when I go on tour, they'll like ram a chicken foot in my pocket or something like that. They always like give me money, trees, as gifts and things like that. That's fun. Just every bit of it, nonsense. But you don't buy any of it. No, but I don't ever want to, you know, just sway this person from.
Starting point is 00:18:59 Okay, so you're doing it for them, you're not doing it for yourself. No. But what if it's been working? Right, no, anything great, then I reap the benefits of it. Right. That's the way I see it. That's the way I see a lot of this, you know, like, raky healing or crystals. It's what you believe, you know.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Look, I was raised Catholic, right? So for me, there are certain things that, like, I wouldn't mess with, you know, like, I'm not going to go play a Ouija board or something. Because you don't want to go to hell. Well, no, because I don't mess with. I'm not gonna go play a Ouija board or something. Because you don't wanna go to hell. Well, no, because I don't want a demon attached to me. I like it all. I'm fascinated by it all. But this is what I personally, I like spa music.
Starting point is 00:19:35 Okay. I like essential oils. Like to smell that stuff. And I like massages. That's the end of it. But that's a good meditation practice for you. That's, and that's a really great, but that's a good meditation practice for you. That's really good. You know, because why do you like to get a massage?
Starting point is 00:19:53 Because, I'm gonna tell you why I like to get massages. It's the only time I can have a woman that's not my wife touch me. So that's exciting. I only like to have females massage me. Oh. Now, I've never once in my life been aroused from a massage. Oh, you know, I've always wondered that about men.
Starting point is 00:20:18 People always say that guys are like, oh, they touch close and Bob, and you get excited and you, it's never happened in my life. I've never been sexually turned on from a massage. Yet I don't want a man to rub me. Interesting. What about this? Well, this world overlaps with speaking of sex. It does kind of people.
Starting point is 00:20:37 Yeah. I don't. Did you do do you do that stuff to or believe in that tantric? All that stuff. Oh, no way they like don't touch you. Have you ever? Yeah, this is cool.
Starting point is 00:20:47 You have messed with that? Yeah, I have. It doesn't work, right? I mean, it's nice. It is nice. Have you never, you should try it with your wife. You know the thing is, it's like we're so conditioned in our society to just like.
Starting point is 00:21:03 Yep. Mm-hmm. And that's it, you know, and I think it takes a lot more for, especially for women to feel aroused than those are. That's what vibrators are for, continue. But that's so not like, you know, do you want to rely on a battery operated device every time? Or is this solar?
Starting point is 00:21:23 But. Oh, so it lasts a really long time. Well, as long as she's out in the backyard. Where are you from? I grew up in East LA. Yeah, I grew up in East LA. It's a beautiful part of town. I've been.
Starting point is 00:21:37 Yeah, now it is, right? It's crazy. I was using this. It's crazy. No, I don't know anything about East LA. Really? Why? Well, I just, it's amazing. Again, no, I can't imagine it is.
Starting point is 00:21:46 I don't know, you know it's one of those things where it's like when you're a kid and you hear this song about Compton stuff like that, you're like, well, I'm never gonna go there when you're like this like white kid from the suburbs in Florida. Yeah, probably not a great place to go. You don't live in East LA anymore?
Starting point is 00:22:01 I don't, I'm in the valley now. Oh, look at that. I know. Is that what you always dreamed of. Oh, look at that. I know. Is that what you always dreamed of? Actually, it's the place that I said I would never, ever move to. If you're from LA, the valley is like the pit of me of. So now? Yeah, selling out suburbia.
Starting point is 00:22:16 It's, you know, it's safe. You know, it's just nobody wants to go there. You don't want safe? No. I want to live in fear. Did you live in fear as a kid? I did. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:29 Well, I grew up in the early 90s, you know, during what is called the Decade of Death. I lived in a, like, apartment complex that sat right in the middle of two rivaling gangs. So we were always kind of caught in the middle of drive by shootings and gang violence and fights. But the interesting thing about that is growing up in that kind of environment. You're growing up around other kids that are also experiencing the same type of, I guess, PTSD,
Starting point is 00:22:58 you would call it. Do you really try to steal a cop car when you're 15 or so? I did. I did attempt it. Yeah, I how far did you get? I didn't go anywhere. Do you get in the car? Yes. Do you close the door? Yes. Turn the key. It was already on. Okay. Do you call in? No, I just put it in reverse and then the cops pulled up behind and I just put it back in park and I got out. So I didn't drive away with it. Do you get arrested? Of course I got arrested. Oh really? Yeah. I went to jail. I had to jail? For that? You could just like I wasn't there for a long time. I got arrested and I got booked. Right. Yeah. You didn't try to get like cute your way out of it. Oh yeah. They were not having any of it.
Starting point is 00:23:45 And then when I got booked, the booking guy that was there, he's like entering my information. And he just looked at me and he was like, welcome to life in the system. And I was like, oh, Jesus. I will cut you. Yeah. And Jesus back to you now, both of you doing your part.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Do you have childhood friends that you're still close with? Yeah, I do. A couple. I mean, you guys that you're still close with? Yeah, I do, a couple. I do some of them. Well, yeah, I'm scared. They're gonna come after me. And then some family members that you just can't get rid of. Yeah, and I think that's more of a cultural thing. Yeah, for sure.
Starting point is 00:24:15 I'm happy to get rid of family members. Are you, that's a good boundary to have. As soon as I like, see the way they vote on a few issues, I'm like, you're out. How do you do, really, you do, did you grow out. How do you do it? Really, you do, did you grow up being close with your family though? No, I don't know. They were great.
Starting point is 00:24:29 I had an easy childhood. I had fun. I enjoyed most stages of my life. I've never looked back on my life and like, that was the best time of my life. Oh, okay. I've always been like, now. Like, you're good with it.
Starting point is 00:24:43 You can move on. So I feel like I'm living in the now at all times That's good you're being present. Maybe that's why you don't need to meditate or you feel like you don't have Have you ever gone to like a silent retreat? Yeah, yeah, I've been to I've been to lots of silent retreats. Have you no fucking way? Well, I'm just I don't know what it's such a first. all, I don't even believe in yoga. Let me just say that. It's like, it's all, like go home and stretch. But doesn't it feel nice? Oh, it's hot yoga.
Starting point is 00:25:10 Oh, good. Okay, we're gonna all sweat. I'm gonna smell you. And then there's like two guys in the class because they want people to look at the silhouette of their dong. I don't like them either. I don't know why they're there.
Starting point is 00:25:21 So you're not ever gonna go to a yoga retreat? No, no, those things are dumb. And there's always like two celebrities walking around that everybody talks about. Can you believe so and so is there the whole time? He's so wonderful. Well, shut the fuck up. We didn't talk for six days.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Oh, lovely. She just send that money to Ukraine, you asshole. Oh my God. Sorry. That was. Sorry, not sorry. So I've never been able to retreat. It was the end. You should go to one.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Yeah. What happens in your brain when you're sitting there and not thinking, thinking? Can you get your mind to just be quiet? Sure. Yeah, yeah. Oh, like sometimes I'll wake up in my life like oh I couldn't get to sleep my head. I just kept thinking a thousand things. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:10 I'm like what do you stop and then I just roll back over and fall asleep for another six hours. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. I kind of jealous. See I think that's what someone should say to me. Yeah. Like hey you know what? You're you're you in the right space. Yeah, that's good. You're not, you don't need to do any of this stuff. You don't need to practice. Well, I'm not saying, you know, I know you're not saying that, but that's what I want someone. Oh, you want somebody to say, I'm not going to say that to you, but I will say that I'm jealous that you can do that, because that's ultimately the goal. That's, well, that's the, you know, one time I, I despise acting But that's the, you know, one time I despise acting as a profession. It's nothing I've ever been interested in.
Starting point is 00:26:48 One time you move out here as a comedian chasing your dreams, living in California, it's so exciting. They want you to audition and it's humiliating your audition. I had to do that too. One time I was like, oh, I really would, this would be a good part. And my manager was like, I hired an acting coach for you. And I'm like, oh, that sounds horrible.
Starting point is 00:27:11 And then I did it with this acting coach. And the acting coach told me after like, we did like our read through, he's like, that's perfect. And I was like, well, then I'll never, ever hire you again. And also, I didn't get the part and I've never been a good actor. But, you know, all I needed was one person to and I've never been a good actor. But, you know, that's all I needed was one person to tell me, oh, no, you did it good. That was
Starting point is 00:27:29 good. And then I was like, well, then this is stupid. And that was it. And that's all the reassurance you needed to know that I, that this is silly. You don't like acting at all. No. But in fairness, I really don't like comedy either. Oh, well, it's because it's embarrassing to me to think like, oh, I'm gonna go on stage and tell jokes to people and make them laugh. If I think of it as an actual profession, it's like absurd and silly.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Yeah, but it's also hilarious. Again, I've gotten to an age now where it's like, I'm older and I can go, okay, what I do for a living is not that important. That's not true. We need to laugh. Of course, but you're going to get it somewhere else if you don't get it from me. So it's like, you know, one less comedian is not going to affect anything.
Starting point is 00:28:15 I feel like you are. This sounds like a suicide note. No. I feel like you would be like a really great spiritual guru. That should be your next job. I wouldn't want to con people and to hang in out with me. How is that conning? I don't know, just because I assume you need followers.
Starting point is 00:28:33 You already have followers. Yeah, I don't want them. I tell my fans all the time, I wish they would just leave. Why? Then I would have to go on stage. My night would have been better better had they not shown up. Have you ever done a show where nobody showed up?
Starting point is 00:28:47 I mean, recently? No. No, like back in the day. Yeah, of course. Where there's like, oh, there's three people, but you're still itching to get up there. I'm going to make these. Yeah, like tell me what that was like for you to get up there
Starting point is 00:28:59 for three people and you just did your thing. No, I did it. I was up your confidence. Yeah, of course. I was like, this is dumb. I'd rather not do this than try to, you know, pay my dues this way. I think it's interesting. I struggled.
Starting point is 00:29:13 I struggled for like six weeks before things really started cooking. Six weeks? I'm teasing. Oh my God. I was a joke. That was a joke. Gee, geez.
Starting point is 00:29:22 I'm like, I'm leaving. What about where you on therapy? You think we all should do therapy? Or Geez. I'm like, I'm leaving. What about, where are you on therapy? You think we all should do therapy? Or no? I think you should probably do therapy. Oh. I can't. Tell me why.
Starting point is 00:29:35 Because I, because this is why I hate everybody that lives in my neighborhood. Okay. Let's say that they're like people that were born and raised there out in Malibu. I'm like out in West Malibu, you know, farm, big, you know, people, we have chickens, whatever. Yeah, bigger lots. Yes. So the people that were raised out there, it wasn't like high society back then. And so they're the kind of this Malabamians. And they feel entitled. And so I hate them because they're like, oh, these new people here, like locals only.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Yeah. I hate anything anybody that ever says, my son had a shirt once that said locals only. And I told him, I don't wear that. He goes, mom picked it, I don't like it. I go, I want you to wear a shirt that says, non-locals welcomed. Yeah, that's nice.
Starting point is 00:30:28 Yeah, I'm into that. I'm gonna make that shirt. I'm gonna make the non-locals welcomed. I'd like to, somebody brand that for me. Anyway, then I hate everybody that is there now, because it's expensive now. So they've moved there because they've succeeded financially in life. And when you succeed financially in life, you think every decision that you've made is the right one.
Starting point is 00:30:53 Yeah. You're constantly being told that you're, oh, oh, so you can't be told otherwise. Right. So that's why I hate all of them. Okay. I only bond with my gardener. It's like, it's like the only people I can ever talk to. That's so you don't have any neighbors that you can get along with. Yes, I just some, but they're just so many assholes. Okay, wait, but what is it? I forgot where I've heard. No, what does this have to do with therapy? So it's great. I'm glad you got me back to the point. My thinking, and I'm sure it's wrong, I accept that, is that the reason that I've gotten to where I am, this kid from Shitty Town in Florida, so I came from that and now I've
Starting point is 00:31:35 got all this, and I in my head think, well, all of those little demons is what allowed me to get here, so I better keep them. Oh, you think it's gonna take your edge away? It's kind of like when bands they get sober and then they lose their artistic hand. Bans should never get sober. Do you know what I'm saying? Uh-huh. I'm with you.
Starting point is 00:31:55 Because I'm like, what happens? You guys, the music has gone downward. But is that what you think? Well, I don't know if I think it, but it's like, it served me well. So. Is there a world where perhaps it will enhance? Yeah, but why risk it? Like how much better do I want my life to be?
Starting point is 00:32:13 My life's great. You know, I got a good family. Yeah. Those are paid things are good. That's not rock the boat yet. How does going to therapy damage that? Cause I don't have. I'm not saying that you need, I'm not saying you have to go to therapy. You're not told many therapies Because I don't have. I'm not saying that you need,
Starting point is 00:32:25 I'm not saying you have to go to therapy. You're not told many therapies. I don't fucking backtrack. I'm just saying, like, I think everybody would benefit from time. No, but you know what? I mean, you're talking about things now. So I'd rather, I'd rather a therapist,
Starting point is 00:32:36 spend her time on a kid from East LA that didn't have so many things go right for them in their life than waste their time listening to me fucking wine. It's probably where my head's at. Yeah, but everybody's problems are important. I, I, but this is the thing to. They're not, that's not true. No, it is.
Starting point is 00:32:55 They're not, everybody's problem. Not everybody's problem. You know, I think that this is, so this is, this is going back to what you, you said earlier about the all all-none-local people welcome, right? So it's like how do we then create this community or an environment where everybody's welcome, but then you're already taking yourself out of the communal aspect. Yeah, no, I'm not speaking for myself.
Starting point is 00:33:18 You're speaking for everybody else, but you. Okay, I have an app or not an app. I have a file on my Tab on my phone always open. I can pull it right now. It's it's a retirement Calculator and you just put in you how much money you have and it'll show you how much you can spend a month and Like if you live to be a hundred years old. Oh. So I'm always just staring at that. It's not very healthy. I don't wanna be in jail and I don't wanna be poor.
Starting point is 00:33:50 I think when what you're saying are two biggest fears is like going to jail or being poor, like I would say that mine are probably similar to that. It's not my biggest fear. You know what my biggest fear is? When Amy ever says my biggest fear is, then they say something. There's only one acceptable answer.
Starting point is 00:34:05 Monsters. Like, if it's not monsters, then I don't really care. But you don't believe in ghosts, but you believe in monsters. I don't believe in monsters either, but that would be a real fear. If all of a sudden a bug of monster came through this wall. Oh my God, what about the UFOs that they've just confirmed?
Starting point is 00:34:20 No, those aren't real. Right? Are they? Or are they not? They're not. By the time they've figured this stuff out, we're gonna be going. I know, that's how I feel. So I those aren't real. Right? Are they, are they not? They're not. Like by the time they've figured this stuff out, we're gonna be going. I know, that's how I feel.
Starting point is 00:34:27 So I'm fine with it. I don't, it doesn't affect my life. I'm just gonna continue to water my plants. Quit watering your plants, okay? Get succulents so they don't take all our water. Dude, I kill succulents. I can't keep them alive. I'm a plant killer.
Starting point is 00:34:41 You know my wife had a succulent for six years that she watered and then found out that it was fake. That's who I married. She watered it for six years and then she found out that it was a fake plastic succulent. How? And I have to tell her that I love her and I have to tell her that I trust her with my children.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Oh boy. How long have you been in your current relationship? 20 years. You've been dating this, in your current relationship? 20 years. You've been dating this fella? 20 years you've been dating him. You know what you guys should do? What? When you're like 80.
Starting point is 00:35:12 You should get married. We actually were going to get married last year, but we ended up moving to the Valley instead. Coin flip, huh? Yeah, I was kind of bummed about that, but I'm like, hmm, spend money on a wedding or buy a house. I mean, you can get married without spending money. I'm Mexican.
Starting point is 00:35:33 Oh, my notes did not say that. Should I go? Oh, this is uncomfortable. I will not ask you this question. I've always wanted American Mexico to merge. I mean, this, we are on Mexican land technically, but. I just want it all. And Canada, why not?
Starting point is 00:35:50 We'll throw them in. Let's just all be one power country. I mean, it'd be fun. I think it'd be awesome. For some reason, I don't know. Just want to own it. What? What?
Starting point is 00:36:02 That's the, that might be my favorite thing I've said today. That's so stupid. I just want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it.
Starting point is 00:36:12 I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. I want to own it. That's the, that might be my favorite thing I've said today. That's so stupid. All right. Let me, you were at Nike.
Starting point is 00:36:20 I can't believe that and you won't talk about Kevin Love. He's very sensitive. He has said eyes. Does he? Yeah. I love him. He has said eyes. I love him because he came to heat last year. So he was great. I'm from Florida, I'm from Miami. So I, well, I'm not from Miami, but I lived there for a week. So I say, Do you speak Spanish?
Starting point is 00:36:29 Oh, a little. No. I lived in Miami forever. All my friends are Cuban and Puerto Rican. And you don't speak a spangual? None. Really? None.
Starting point is 00:36:37 Like all my closest friends are Latino. And I just refuse. I just tell them, you're on my country. You're on my country. Oh, yeah. I scream, I mean, you're on my country. You're my country. I scream, I mean, you're my country. You learn my language. Why does it turn the accent to now country? A full, red neck.
Starting point is 00:36:53 Why? That's how it's supposed to sound. When am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I,
Starting point is 00:37:02 when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I, when am I Yeah, probably soon after this. Good. What's your feeling on cancellation? I think it's great. Cancel people. I think people deserve it. And obviously it's not a real thing where like, oh, your livelihood is gone. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:15 But as someone who's done things and said horrible things constantly, I've had backlash and I deserve it. There has to be consequences. And I also don't think that there's a problem with evolving and like, oh, I used to be able to say this and now I can't. Well, fine, good. That's what I'm okay with that.
Starting point is 00:37:32 I like the opportunity for people to evolve into change, but it seems like people are more interested in the like lashing out and sort of ridiculing as opposed to giving people the opportunity to change in a tone, so to speak. I mean, I don't know that I've ever changed because of anything, but I'm also just thankful that like no ex-girlfriend wrote a big article and it got published about me.
Starting point is 00:37:57 I've, you know, no, you know, what I'm happy, that's great. That means I've had pretty good solid relationship. That's also sad though, because I think like, oh, no girl ever thought. To do that, you feel a little left out. Yeah, I'm kind of. What is your sign?
Starting point is 00:38:10 One two birthday. Gemini? Oh, that explains everything I think. Oh, it doesn't. I just know that thing. There's more stupid stuff. Here we go. No, it's definitely.
Starting point is 00:38:19 You were born May 29th on the cancer side of Gemini. Oh, you're a cancer side of Gemini. Oh, you're a cancer side Gemini. That is so that explains so much. So you have that nurturing side about you. Gemini's are two faced though. But the cancer cusp is good on a cancer and I'm a very loving and nurturing person. You have any pets? Of course. I have three pipils. They're all rescues. Oh, I'm a good or high now. So great of you to do that. I know. You know what bothers me about pipils? What? That's someone who donates tons and tons of money to best friends, best friends, great organization. I don't know how many pipils I've saved. I get upset if I when I'm walking my dogs.
Starting point is 00:39:02 Oh yeah. If I just avoid and then I get to someone, somebody going, oh, don't worry, my dog's super friendly. I go, yeah, until it's not. Yeah. You know, my deaths in this country have been caused by havenays none ever. I like this. Yes.
Starting point is 00:39:21 It's never caused a death. Nobody's ever died because of a havin ease So fucking leave me alone in my little dog. All right, so you got three dogs. That's good Yeah, no kids. How many kids do you have you have two 16 you do not well? I count the other So two and then 14 abortions. Oh my god. Are you serious? Oh, yeah What if I was like, oh, I named them all all of your all of my abortions. Same with the same person. No, that would be insane if a one woman had four portions. How did you how did you like too? So many abortions. How do you have the conversation like with the girl or the, I don't know if you were you girlfriends or one-night
Starting point is 00:40:00 stands or whatever. No, no, I'm excited to do. How did I have what conversation? Like, we're gonna not have this child. Well, you know, see that it's heavy gaslighting. Heavy gaslighting. Do you, maybe do you have kids outside that you don't know about? Oh, there's a strong possibility. But it'd be crazy for that person not to have surfaced to get a paycheck by now. Like, what are they waiting on for me to hit like my second stride with this show?
Starting point is 00:40:30 This show's gonna be amazing. I know, but we have to end this interview because they had to turn the air conditioner off for us to do the interview. And then, and now it's like it's gotten more. Yeah. So I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. To leave. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:44 Thank you very much for being here. I will take almost everything you said in a consideration and I'll try to maybe take a little more time out for my own mental well-being in the future sincerely. Okay. All right. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. That's Rob Breiner, Rob called me, so let Addo Brein and ask me what I knew about this crime. I know 60 years later, new leads are still emerging.
Starting point is 00:41:17 To me, an award-winning journalist, that's the making of an incredible story. And on this podcast, you're gonna hear it told by one of America's greatest storytellers. Well, ask who had the motive to assassinate a sitting president. My dad, the 5JFK, screwed us at the Bay of Pigs, and then he screwed us after the Cuban Missile Crisis. We'll reveal why Lee Harvey Oswald
Starting point is 00:41:41 isn't who they said he was. I was under the impression that Lee was being trained for a specific operation, then we'll pull the curtain back on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Curtis Fittis in Jackson. And I'm Charlie Webster.
Starting point is 00:42:05 The podcast surviving alchapo, the twins who brought down a drug lord, returns for a second season and picks white back up with Pete and Jay Flores, taking their first steps on US soil after turning themselves into the US government. When the plane landed, I think it was the first time I ever felt like, why are we doing this? You'll hear details from the twins 14-year prison sentence, and what it was like to go heads ahead against El Chapo in court. It was so ugly to be in an aquarium. I'm anxious and worried and I'm sick to my stomach. No matter what, whenever you're in my blood, you're still staring at me.
Starting point is 00:42:41 I'm worried and I'm sick to my stomach. No matter what, whenever I turn my blood, you still stare at me. Join 50 and I as we bring you the epic conclusion of this podcast. We'll bring you right up to date as the consequences of the twins' decisions now falls on their wives. Maybe I don't know how you're looking up to 10 years in prison
Starting point is 00:42:59 and that's a real number. Surviving on a chapel. Listen to season two. Our heart radio app. Apple podcasts or wherever you get podcasts. Up next we're getting some breaking. There's so much news happening around the world that we're somehow supposed to stay on top of.
Starting point is 00:43:18 And with the constant flood of information coming at you, it can feel impossible to make sense of it all. That's why we launched the Big Take. It's a daily podcast from Bloomberg and I-Hart Radio that turns down the volume a bit to give you some space to think. I'm Wes Kosova, each weekday I dig world's most important story. And we've been talking about the world's most important story and the world's most important story. And we've been talking about the world's most important story and the world's most important story. And we've been talking about the world's most important story and the world's most important story.
Starting point is 00:44:04 And we've been talking about the world's most important story. the big take on the I Heart Radio have. Apple podcasts are wherever you listen. Well, Carl, I'm fixed. Rosie did it. Thank you for being on the show Rosie that was a eye opening. I hope I can evolve as a person. Oh God That's a tough pill to swallow. I'll be doing stand up in Reno and check out boyswearpink.com If you have a toddler in your life Before we get out of here as you may know I recorded my son for one year of his life when he was three years old I recorded him son for one year of his life when he was three years old. I recorded him telling me a bedtime story every night that he was made up. And then Eddie over there animated it. And now you're going to watch it.
Starting point is 00:44:55 See you next week. Tell me one one scary story. Okay. Okay. One day deep deep down a bit who was a bead lion. And bit, hold with a bead Ryan. And in another tiny, it would be Ryan. Damn. This is not scary.
Starting point is 00:45:15 This is a hole. There's a big Ryan in it. Goofball. The assassination of President John F. Kennedy is the greatest murder mystery in American history. to fall. on the cover-up. The American people need to know the truth. Listen to Who Killed JFK on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. My name is Payne Lindsay. Throughout my career, I've had the chance to travel all over the place, investigating true crimes, researching the unexplained, and I've been able to meet some of the most truly interesting people, and I've decided to sit down with them and pick their brains
Starting point is 00:46:06 We're going to talk about life death unsolved crimes the supernatural. There's something here truly something going on And honestly just whatever the hell is on our minds wait a minute This is talking to death new episodes of talking to death are available now listen on the the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast. Hey there, I'm Maya Shankar, and I'm a scientist who studies human behavior. Many of us have experienced a moment in our lives that changes everything. A moment that instantly divides our life into a before and an after. On my podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, I talk to people about how they've navigated exactly these moments. Because as we all know, the only constant is change. So let's make the most of it. Listen to a slight change of plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple
Starting point is 00:46:56 podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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