Tower 4 - S4E1: Sessions

Episode Date: September 22, 2025

It doesn't take too long for Mike to settle into his new home and work-life, but as the days and weeks drag on, Mike struggles with nightmares and panic attacks. Music provided by:Taako @ soundcloud.com/madebytaakoAdditional Tracks:"Dark Places" by Art_Munson @ Pond5.com"Sad Melancholy Acoustic Guitar" by Gestonwreen @ Pond5.com"Something New" by Castle Heist @ Artlist.io"All We Really Need" by Trent Thompson @ Artlist.io"Avalanche" by Kiss the Earth @ Artlist.io"Elevate" by Katrina Stone @ Artlist.io Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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And if you want to hear a little bit from the show, sit around after the credits of this episode of Tower 4 to hear the beginning of 1 block episode 1. once again that's patreon.com slash seven lamb the number seven LAMB hope to see you there I don't know. Oh... Ugh... water, water, water,

water. I don't know. I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to I'm I'm I'm

I'm on. Let me see if it's Let me see if it's working now. Just connect. There we go. At last, I was able to join the call. The internet was spotty here, but usually in the mornings it was better.

That's why my weekly psychiatrist meetings were at 9 a.m. every Thursday. Hello there, Mike. Dr. Romero popped up with his sweater vest and comb over, typical-looking shrink in his typical looking room. A study with rows of books behind him, a third of which he admitted he never read. Hi, sorry again, but you know how it is. No need to apologize. Dr. Romero was stationed in Juneau, but even though he was relatively close, it wasn't always easy to connect. So, let's get into it. How have we been this past week?

Honestly, just taking it one day at a time. Like you said. The headaches? Still there. Panic attacks? No, not this week. Really the only thing is nightmares right now. Have you been taking your pills?

One every night. But you still get nightmares? Not every single night, but I'd say at least every other. Have you been trying the tea like we talked about last time? Oh, uh, I looked down at my mug by my keyboard. Not yet, but I'll, uh, get some tomorrow at the store. It had been quite the adjustment living here. I wasn't a huge fan.

of the cold, but I hadn't been too cold yet. I did like the solitude. Ketchikan had a smaller population than Juno, but still felt whole and alive. The tourism could make things busy from time to time, but all you had to do was avoid the touristy areas. How about your writing? I know you said you were struggling last week. That was true. I'd only gotten a few pages into my story, tentatively titled Girl. Man, Mike, you suck with titles. I'm taking a little break, been working on some short story writing in the meantime. Is that so? Yeah, but probably won't keep any of it. I thought you said sometimes you expand on those stories. I do, but I really want to get back to my main book. Girl is the only thing remotely fleshed out. Okay. Do you think you'll get back to it this weekend? I'm hoping so.

Maybe the tea will spark something. It's a good alternative to coffee. Rich in antioxidants, less caffeine, relieve stress. I know, I know. You listed all the perks last time. It doesn't seem like it was enough to convince you. I like coffee. You could always try a different type. Something like mushroom coffee? Mushroom coffee? It has less caffeine too.

Also helps with stress management. And it doesn't taste too bad if you have some oatmeal creamer to smooth it out. He smiled and held up his mug to the camera before taking a sip. Is that what you're drinking now? No. I stick with tea. I know you say you brew at a pot of coffee on your day. days off and drink it throughout the day. But if you want to relieve stress, anxiety, caffeine jitters,

I'd definitely recommend tea over coffee, at least afternoon. Or mushroom coffee. Or mushroom coffee. I'll make some adjustments. Good to hear. So how's your D in life, Mike? Uh, I, uh, I have a date tomorrow. You do? Is this another date? I forgot the last girl's name, or is this the first time with somebody new? Someone new. Her name's Rebecca. Becky. Did you meet her on your dating app? Yeah, but I've seen her before around town. She's pretty. We had a nice time chatting back and forth earlier this week.

On the phone? Yeah, through text, and then I called her Tuesday after work. We talked for a good hour over the phone. Maybe that will help clear your mind for your writing. I mean, it'll help free yourself a bit now. Everyone needs breaks. That's what I'm hoping. I really want to get back to my book this weekend and maybe some fresh air without the

Forklifts and cruise horns will be nice. So you're going out. Where or two? We're going hiking on one of the trails over by Haudley Creek. Hiking? I haven't been in a long time. Seven Land Productions presents. Tower 4. Season 4.

Episode 1. Sessions. What's that What's that? A break from the tree cover was an open area with a few benches, pull-up bars, monkey bars, a leg press, rope, rope, bladder and other equipment. I didn't know this was up here. She jogged over to the leg press and sat. You ever use one of these? A leg press? An outdoor gym. No. Do you work out? I looked down on my stomach. While I'd lost some weight from eating

less the past month combined with my labor-intensive job at the dock, I didn't get much actual exercising into my daily routine. That was another thing Dr. Romero lightly scolded me for. I go to the rec center once in a while, off Schoenbar Road. Yeah, me too. I've never seen you there. I don't go as often as I'd like with work and writing taking up so much of my time. I get it. She did a few more presses before dropping her legs and sitting up straight. I was like that for a time. Work, chores, mom life.

It all took up time. But after the divorce, I'd hold myself, get your ass back in shape, Bex. Because you're on the market again? You know it. Yeah, I grab my belly with my whole hand and squeezed. I get that. Oh, stop. She smacked my hand away from my stomach. Come on, let's keep going.

I want to show you this one spot. Okay. See, right there. I raise Becky's compact binoculars to my eyes again and tried to look where she was pointing. There. Take flight. I saw them. There it goes.

The bald eagle bounced off the branch and extended its wings as it glided over the serene lake. Wow. Told you this spot is beautiful. I lowered the binoculars suddenly getting a weird feeling inside. You all right? I bit my lip trying to put a word to the feeling I just had. Mike.

Oh, sorry. Yeah, this spot is beautiful. She gave me a concerned look. Sorry. I just had the weirdest deja vu. That's what it was. You told me you've never been here. I haven't.

It reminded you of something else? I thought you weren't the outdoorsy type. I'm not. I don't know. It was weird. She shrugged. I put the binoculars up to my eyes again and went back to the tree from which the eagle soared.

You said there was a nest? Yeah, near the top. Right there. She was right. This place is great for bird watching Bird watching Yeah, you ever do that? Not outside staring at my window in the morning

Or between breaks and paragraphs It's fun, calming Can't say I know much about birds, not many types I did remember the one I saved as a kid But I couldn't remember what type it was Look, over there, that's an ocklet An ocklet? Yeah

Where? You don't need the binocular It's right there, on the branch. I lowered the binoculars and followed her finger. Near the boardwalk, a black bird with a white belly and yellow beak dove to the water. And over there, that flock at the far end are ravens. A group of five or six birds zigged and zagged over the treetops. I know what ravens are.

I didn't say that you didn't. Still, I brought the binoculars to my eyes and got a closer look to the smooth yet sharp movements. After they settled, I scanned the rest of the leg. Some days you could see hundreds of birds, from eagles to oyster catchers, looms, and swans to turns and grouses. Hey, what's that? It was a gray bird hovering at the far end over the boardwalk. That? I lowered the binoculars and pointed.

Yeah. That is a goal, Mike. Oh, she smirked from my mild embarrassment. I thought someone who worked on the docks may at least know. may at least know those types. Okay, okay, it's grayer than the others. I thought it was something else. Now she had a full-on smile.

I playfully handed back the binoculars like I was annoyed. Okay, so bird watching isn't your thing. It's a tad boring. Where are the cool animals? Cool animals? Yeah, like moose and wolves and bears. Bald eagles aren't cool? Yeah, okay, they're cool.

Still. I've been here a little. over a month now, and I want to see something bigger. You do not want to see a bear. No? No. Not now. Well, I mean, not up close, but if there was one on the other side of the lake, that would be neat, right? This isn't a zoo. You can see a bear. They can see you.

So you'd be scared? Eh, not really. You just make noise. Again, that weird sense of deja vu hit me. If you're loud enough, they'll leave you alone. Really? Sure. Unless... It's a grizzly. We walk back up the grassy incline onto the trail.

You ever run into a grizzly? No, but I have come across several black bear. Anything happen? No. Like I said, you make noise. They usually leave you alone. But one time, one did get pretty close. Luckily, I had bear spray.

Mike, why'd you stop walking? You see something? No. Again, I got hit with that weird sensation. But why? Why was it happening? all of the sudden and so often in such a short span of time. You're all right?

Yeah. Sorry, my head's been in a daze lately. I chalk it up to intense writer's block. The hike was great, but super exhausting. When I got home, I went straight to my bed and flopped. Becky seemed to have a good time too, and that made me happy. But I couldn't shake the weird feelings I kept having all day. Maybe some good rest will help.

There I was again, there I was again, in my bed, hearing my parents fight in the other room. The bed rumbled a bit, then the weightlessness. The bed rose through the ceiling and roof. My tiny little hands gripped the edge as I peered over. There was my house, and there was dad driving off in a hurry to disappear and never return. The streetlights flickered for a few moments before shutting off. The higher I got, the quieter it became. The city noises becoming faint.

A bird on my bedpost, the type I wasn't sure. Maybe the one I rescued. It ruffled its feathers, looked my way, then took flight. disappearing into the gray clouds. I slowly got to my knees and peered down, but all I could see now were clouds. I wanted to follow the bird. I gripped the edge of the bed again and got the urge. Yeah, I think I just might. I got to my feet and leaned forward. I heard it. But right when I was about to jump, two hands came over my face and neck and yanked me back down. Damn. Even a simple nap didn't guarantee you a good sleep.

At least it wasn't some of the other stuff I'd seen in my dreams lately. But hands? Add that to the what-the-fuck list. The next week in the nightmares were kept at bay for the most part, only two nights where I awoke in a cold sweat. I was running late for my session. I was running late for my session. I woke up the computer while getting dressed. I know the doc said it was important to get sleep. That's why he prescribed me pills, but they obviously weren't working.

At least on how they were before. I opened the program and removed the camera blocker. I logged in. There he is. Sorry I'm late again. Rough night. Oh? Yeah.

I don't really think the pills are working anymore. Well, that's not good. You stayed last week. You were experiencing nightmares approximately every other night. Has it been the same this week? Only two nights in a nap this week, but still. Hmm. Well, I'd hate to take your off a prescription completely if you're still getting some good sleep.

Sure. Yeah. How are things other than sleep? Diet? Exercise? Have we made changes? Not yet, but I did buy some tea yesterday. That's good.

But I still made coffee this morning. I held up my mug to the camera. That's okay. Small steps. How's your writing coming? Oh, and how was your date? Writing is much of the same, but now that you mention it, I did get a decent amount of exercise on my date last Friday.

Where did you go hiking again? Followed Haudley Creek to Carlana Lake. Wait, Carlana Lake? Yeah. Oh, it's beautiful there. You've been? Sure. I've been all over.

Honestly, there are many bad spots in this state. It was nice. And how was the date itself? Good. Becky's nice. Sweet. Energetic. I feel like I'm sensing some hesitation. You want to talk about anything?

With the date? Anything. We can move on to something else if you'd like. But I decided to stick with the date. Uh, well, Becky's nice, and we had a great time, but... Yeah? It's just, I don't know if I'm feeling it. Well, it's only been one date, right?

Sure, and we have another plan for... I looked at my calendar. I had to write things down constantly or I'd forget. So my calendar was full, work schedule, errands, dates, and one specific date that was coming up that I still wasn't sure why it was there. I remembered writing it, though. Mike? Oh, sorry.

Uh, we have another date plan. for this Saturday. You don't have to work. I know. I'm surprised. Okay. How you feel about seeing her again? Good. Like I said, she's really nice and fun and personable. I guess I was just wishing for something more. Sparks? Is that ridiculous? No, but I would say it's pretty early still, don't you think? I mean, obviously, you want to go with your gut. And if she's not giving you that uneasy butterfly feeling, maybe that's what you find is missing. Maybe that's a signifier you're hoping for. I know you mentioned it with past actions like Samantha, Sarah, and even, uh,

Melinda. Yeah, with Melinda, though, I think it was fleeting and totally misguided. Not necessarily. You could have fallen in love with her, but lost it once you started noticing the issues arising. That's why I stayed with her for so long? Do you think that's why? I guess, but if I go so far as to save my feeling then was mistaken, I did. Maybe the same with Sarah, because she was the first girl I dated after Psycho.

You know, I'm not a big fan of using the term Psycho to describe an ex or any person for that matter. Sorry. It's fine. But I don't think you can equate the two. You just can't make that feeling happen. I would say you actually cared for her deeply. No? Sure. But was it real? I don't know. Only you would know that. Right. I just... I'd hate to write something off before giving it ample time to materialize.

Are we talking about Becky or your story now? I'm talking about Becky. Share as much as you like, but you didn't feel anything with her? Nothing may it seem like she was someone you wanted to see again. I mean, I am seeing her again. Right. But do you want to? Do you feel anything there?

I did feel one thing on our date, but it wasn't butterflies in the stomach. it was deja vu. Oh? Felt it a few times with her. Any idea why? No. Maybe it was the woods,

a trail, walking with someone by a lake. Are those things you've done with a significant other? I can't quite remember. Possibly. Hmm. Well, it could be something

you don't even realize that's causing a brain misfire, signaling a false sense of familiarity. That's what scientists believe deja vu is. A glitch in a way the brain processes, and retrieves memories.

But several times so close together? Sure. It's possible. I nodded. Then turned my attention to the window behind the small desk where a couple birds zoomed by. Hey, Mike. You okay?

What? You looked like you were drifting off. Oh. No. Okay. Brought my attention back to the computer screen. It's just frustrating. You know?

What is? All of it. mom the accident sleep trouble my dating life my writing my fucking head injury my memory shit I can't even remember everything

even if I do write it down but what did I tell you you should try compartmentalizing don't take all those things at once focus one thing at a time put your troubles into categories but they all relate then maybe

aim for a chain of what we should focus on first let's find a way to get you better sleep and then they'll help you with your writing which will then put you in the headspace to go out and date more, hang out with your friends and so on and so on. Yeah, okay. Is that not what you're hoping for?

It's just, I came up here to get away and it's not exactly turning out the way I was hoping. Give it time, Mike. How much? However long it takes. You've only been there a month, right? Yeah. That's hardly enough time.

He was right. Now, I think I'm going to put you on a new medication. A new prescription. One that should really help you with your sleep. Really? I believe so. It's relatively new, but the therapeutic community swears by it. It's kind of a mixture of Prozac and Benadryl,

so it should help you with your sleep and subdue any panic attacks. I know it's been a while since you're last, but just in case. Let's try it up. Okay. Two days passed, and sleep wasn't any better. But I didn't pick up my new prescription yet. I planned to do that today if Clark was good with it. Hey man, thanks again for the ride.

You don't have to thank me every day. But I thought Pete was going to help you out. He told me to see him today. Ah, good. Usually I uber to work, but because of my tardiness, Clark said he'd help out. So the last week, you picked me up. Well, we did some exercising this week. Looks like we got a double order

We pointed to the stack of crates By the docks and the large ship Approaching down the waterway You know, I went hiking the other day And I thought it'd be a little more in shape Because of all this heavy lifting But the hike tuckered you out My legs are still weak

Which means a tough day at the office Ha ha ha ha I don't know. I'm going to be. Luckily, I got Forkliftedie with Beth today. which meant a lot of sitting. That is, until lunch, when Pete, the boss, wanted me to meet him in the lot across the street.

Hey. This is her. Oh, nice. Okay. She might look a little rough, but she runs. And I really have no more use for her. You put the key in my hand. I really appreciate this.

Also, if you need to take money out of my pay starting this week, you can. Listen, don't worry about all that. I haven't even been using her. She's been sitting in the driveway for the past six months. But don't worry, I took her first spin to make sure everything was in working order. Also gave her an old change and a tune-up, so you shouldn't have anything to worry about. Well, again, I appreciate it, Pete, really. My pleasure.

Use it for a few months, and if you want to keep her, save up some money and we can work out a payment plan. Okay, sounds good. Pete seemed like a genuine guy who cared about his employees, although some of the other workers said he wasn't always like this. I wonder what changed. Oh, but try to be on time. That is the whole purpose, right? It was the driving force, no pun intended.

Hopefully this new prescription I'd pick up today that the therapeutic community swore by would help me get good, dreamless sleep so I could wake up refreshed and ready for work. I put the car key on my key ring and headed back to the warehouse. This Saturday was my second date with Becky, and it was an interesting one. First we got dinner, then we went to our uncle's place in bold. He had two lanes built right in his house. While meeting family this early was a bit weird, it was still a fun time. I still can't believe you picked up the 7-10 split to beat me in the 10th frame. I'd like to say it was pure luck, but, you know, there was a decent amount of skill involved.

See, when I need to, when my back is against the wall, I can really focus and work my way out of a situation. Yeah, okay. Is that how you handle Writers Block 2? It's a little easier with bowling. Well, I've been bowling since I was 14. You said you haven't played in years. I haven't. But hey, you still crushed me the other two games. It wasn't even close.

I'm pretty sure at one point you've made a sly comment about how maybe bumpers were needed. Ah, so it was karma. Maybe. Or maybe I'm just a gentleman and like to let the lady win a couple of games to make her feel good. Do you do that?

Sometimes, when I'm feeling gentlemanly. Like when you offered a drive to? Well, I would have done that for the last date if I had a car then. I told you Pete was a nice guy. Becky knew Pete because he was friends with her uncle. There were nearly 10,000 people in Catchcan, and apparently during Pete Cruz season,

there were that many tourists visiting each day. But it still often felt like a small town. He is nice. He's not even expecting any payment for a few months. Wow. So you have extra money for another dinner then? She smiled. Becky was cute, funny, and sweet.

But I saw you. still felt something was off. Didn't have anything to do with her, per se. I liked how personable and playful she was. I felt like we had a good rapport, but there was still something missing. Don't pass it. Whoops. Well, thank you for another great date.

I reached for the keys as she turned to me. Oh, I was going to do the gentlemanly thing and walk you to the door. So sweet. she patted then squeezed my cheek playfully um but maybe it would be best if we say our goodbyes here i look to our house then back to her i'm sorry then i realized i'm still not quite sure how my kids will feel you haven't told him you're dating yet no what about the ex-husband yeah yeah he knows he um said he didn't care and god i hope that's true She grimaced.

I'm really sorry about this. No, it's fine. I understand. Okay. I just want to make sure that this becomes a little bit more serious before introducing you to my kids. I know. That was something I actually liked and respected. Something that Mel didn't do.

I met Nate on our third date and I always felt weird about it. Especially since she said at that point she didn't want to be serious. That didn't happen until. our seventh date. Okay, well, I'm gonna go then. We looked into each other's eyes a moment. Her hand was still on my cheek, so I felt like I had an opening.

I took it. We kissed once softly, but then she moved her other hand to my other cheek, kept my face firmly where it was as we kissed again. Okay, well, I'm gonna go. She seemed like she was trying to hold back a smile, as she let go of my face and reached for the door. Talk to you tomorrow?

Yeah. I watched as she went up her walk to the door, dug out her keys, and waved. I waved back. She then unlocked the door and went inside. Ah. ...hehran... there's only old fashions left you should be happy that's like the healthiest donut right

i don't know about that but maybe since it lacks jelly and sprinkles told you not to wait norris broke my concentration uh where was i you said you called her and and gently let her down over a lackluster kiss as nice of a girl as she is i just wasn't feeling it night. I don't want to lead her on. I don't want to waste her time. Who are we talking about? Beth pulled the chair and sat at the small square table with me and Clark. Norris leaned in with half the donut in his mouth. He's dating Chuck's girl.

What? What happened? They split months ago. Norris kept the donut in his mouth as he went to the water cooler to fill his bottle. Who split up months ago? Just then Lenny entered and grabbed the donut. Apparently, Becky and Chuck Doesn't mean he doesn't still see her every day Wait, does he?

You know what? It doesn't matter. Norris finished filling his water and took the donut out of his mouth. I didn't say they were still screwing, just that he goes over there often. Don't they have kids together? Sure, yeah, I know that. Norris took a bite of his old-fashioned donut and walked out of the break area. Don't listen to anything Norris says. He loves gossip, but gets everything wrong.

It's fine. We ended things anyway. She's pretty, though, and super fit. Surprise you wouldn't want to see where things were going. I mean, I get the divorcing kids. Is that what it was? No, no, no, no. And trust me, I had to state that many times with her, too, because she did not believe me.

Makes sense. So, what are you looking for, Mike? Uh, I don't really know. Beth means to say that sometimes what you're looking for can be right in front of you. He playfully motioned to Beth as Lenny took a seat to the table with us. No, stop that. That's not what I meant. Nothing personal against you, Mike. Totally fine. Sorry. I was trying to play Matchmaker. Um, I'm seeing someone. And have been for over six months now.

Oh, the rat man. That caught me up guard. Rat man? Oh my God, he has other pets. He's an animal lover. But what does he have the most of, Beth? If you made a face. Rats? Again, I had that weird deja vu feeling like on the trail with Becky. A weird sense like we talked about this before. Rats are really smart and very clean animals, Lenny.

Contrary to popular belief. I have no issues with rodents, but how many does the guy have? He has a lot? I thought we were chatting with Mike about his relationship woes. So the rats are a woe? Oh, stop. Ha, ha. Okay.

Okay, okay. Have you, uh, mentioned that before? What? Um, the rat man. Lennie shook his head and shrugged. I looked over to Beth and then Clark. Clark's face got serious a moment like he was trying to read me, read my thoughts. But then a smile slowly grew on his face.

I don't think anyone ever mentioned a rat man here. I know this is the first time I'm hearing of it. Yeah, because people don't need to know my personal life. Beth knocked Lenny's donut out of his hand. Hey! And by the way, His name is Roy. Right, right, right, Roy.

A rat man? Someone had to have mentioned Roy, the rat man, before. Why else would I have this weird feeling? Listen, Mike, if you want help, I have friends. Single friends. I can try to set something up. Oh, no, no, it's okay. I think I just want to take a break from dating and just focus on my writing more.

Oh, okay. Well, just let me know. Yeah, I will. Thanks. drinking with work buddies even though I often got out of that. Of course I'd like someone special in my life, but I obviously wasn't ready right now. This is what was going to bring me happiness. I had to admit to myself that writing wasn't always fulfilling. I often hit blocks that disrupted my flow and filled me with another type of emptiness.

But I found sometimes it just a little. some good pacing. But the pacing could last hours and often did as I muttered story elements to myself. Why would he go there though? Does he know she's still alive at this point? Do I have a chance meeting? How do you make it make sense? Because it's not like he would even want to start up a conversation if they did meet. What about the grandparents? Did I model them after Mel's? Is that too much? The only issue I had with my pacing and rambling was the fact that sometimes I would end up deconstructing everything I'd written up to that point

but hate my writing for the day. All of it. Each bit of dialogue, each character action, hell, the prose itself would bug me. Ugh! I didn't even like the name. Olivia? Did that name fit? It seemed too nice, too blowery again that feeling did I try to change the name already did I have these thoughts before

I spun to the window outside a small little yellow and brown bird hanging on the very edge of a branch I went to the window and looked out the bird upon noticing me took flight now instead of focusing on the little feathered guy I was staring out of the mountains and woods beyond that gorgeous view

I hated that this stupid deja vu kept hitting me I hated that I had so many memory problems after the accident I also hated how it made me look I noticed my reflection in the window the scars I'd accumulated not only on my face but my hands arms neck and even back I tried to focus on the positive but that was hard I stared at the calendar now everything written down

otherwise I'd forget just like I forgot the T-bone, a rolling car in the hospital stay. I lifted the page of the wall calendar to reveal the month of September. Not so many dates in times as I'd only got in my work schedule for the next two weeks, but I saw the strange date. September 29th, but for the life of me, I just could not remember what that was. Mountain Point. Ugh.

My life really did fall in. to shambles after mom passed. It had just been one hurdle after another, and now, once again, I'm stuck on my stupid book. How to get out of this funk? Should I try calling Becky, even though last I heard she was dating someone? Or should you call Beth, Mike, and tell her, fuck it, I'm ready to be hooked up. Let's get me back out there. No. As I lay on the bed, staring up at the popcorn ceiling, I thought about how I used to get ideas. One was a long shower, which I had already took to today. Another was through pacing, which wasn't helping, and the last was through rest and dreams, which I purposefully pushed away. My new prescription was doing too well with

getting me through the night without any dreams to sink into. So maybe tonight I skipped the pill. That night I woke up in a cold sweat. That night I woke up in a cold sweat. Looks like not taking my pills wasn't an option unless I wanted more and more nights like this. Ah. The internet was finally. The internet was finally connected, and a moment after logging in, Dr. Romero's face appeared. there, Mike. Hi. How are we today? Not bad. I see the string there. Still sticking with a tea?

Yeah. Tea. Sleeping well. Working on my book. So would you say you're in a happy state? As happy as I can be. I'd leave out my struggle Monday, which was a mess up on my part. No more skipping my nightly dose. Well, that's good to hear. You've been concentrating on your writing for a while now, like you wanted, right? Yeah. How's the social life? Non-existent. No dates? Eh. What about that poker game with your work buddies you mentioned last week? I didn't go.

Still not one for hanging out with your work pals? I have a couple times in the last month, but my writing just comes first. Hey, as long as you're doing what you want and you're happy, then that's fine. But you do worry a bit. I wouldn't say worry, but when you were dating, you were getting that human connection that maybe you needed. And now that you decided to put your day and life on hold, which is fine, I'm surprised you wouldn't want to fill that time with friendships. I'm not really lacking that human connection.

Okay, yeah. If you don't feel you are, then there's nothing wrong with it. Maybe at some point I'll make more of an effort to hang with the guys. Maybe when I get that first draft of my book done. I haven't had the urge to drink outside a couple beers here and there when they're at them and I join them after work and the occasional scotch when I'm really on a writing tear. But that's it.

Plus, I'm not great at poker. Well, I don't think that would be the overall goal. What? To break the banker, crush them. No, I know. Again, you go at your own pace. How's the rain coming along? Happy with your progress?

Every so often, but I do still struggle. I hit Riders Block again earlier this week, so I tried some of my methods to get through it. Like what? Long showers, pacing, and I was trying to decide whether to keep Monday a secret or not. I had a feeling like I was going to be scolded, but... And? I didn't take my prescription. that night.

You didn't? I thought you needed more help with sleep. But back in the day, I used to be able to work out jams in my writing with some dreaming. Not always, but sometimes. Oh. But it didn't work this time. No dreams? No, I had one that I remember, but it wasn't something that could help with my writing.

A nightmare? Yeah. Similar to the nightmares you've had with your last prescription? Somewhat. Interesting. You didn't mention weeks ago that this new prescription was working out well. only one panic attack last month and better sleep overall

That's true Well then I wouldn't try skipping days too often Sleep is really important No, I know That's why we're on this new prescription Yeah, I know Was this the full wrath of his scolding

Because if so, it wasn't too bad Okay, what else do you have going on? I looked at the calendar Which I had already pinned to the next month September Just to organize my work schedule There were only a couple of the things written down like when to pick up my refill of my prescription,

a few planned trips to the gym, although I'd probably skip them, some writing goals, although I'd probably miss them, and that one mysterious date. But I just kept that to myself. Because I still didn't know what that was. Was it a woman, a friend, a party, a work event? Mike?

Oh, sorry, just looking at my calendar. I don't have too much this month, just work and writing. Right. I got to say, Dr. Remem. Meryl, while I don't have panic attacks often and my sleep is better. When I'm taking my pills, stupid internal bullshit keeps wearing on me. The deja vu you've said you've experienced from time to time. And the fact that I struggle so much with remembering things, it's really frustrating.

I understand, but it can become of severe brain injuries, which you experienced with your accident. I know. That's why we're taking things slowly. That's why we try to get better sleep. Focus on things that make us happy. focus on being on time work on fun puzzles focus on connecting with other people

even if we are taking a break from that one just things to keep your mind busy and improve your overall health we don't want to sit in our unhappiness because that doesn't make anything better it drains us so one thing at a time that's it we just want to keep pushing forward

and I'm fine with that I'm fine with pushing I just wish it was a little easier so does that mean you aren't actually as happy as you'd like to be I guess not But honestly I don't know why The Y

why was I not fully happy? What was I missing in my life? A completed book or a connection like Dr. Romero said. Or something else entirely. As I moved pallets in the warehouse, my mind drifted. I thought about Sarah. She often questioned things, although she came at topics from a completely different direction,

which often gave her a totally unique perspective. A different perspective. Hmm. Again, that little feeling of deja vu. I tried to link it to something, but I couldn't figure out what. My story? I wasn't thinking about my story when I was with Vecke hiking the trail. Moving pallets?

I did this often. Lack of sleep, because I hadn't missed another day with my medication. I made sure of that. Yo, Mike, you're in the way. Sorry. I lifted the pallet and moved it out of the center aisle as Lenny came through with the forklift. I gave up trying to come up with a reason for the deja vu and instead drifted back to my story. Thinking about perspectives again.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe that's how I get from point A to point B with Skyler. She'd be older. Maybe I'd take the story through her perspective after the death of her mother. It would still be Jason's story overall, but it could also be... Mike! You okay, man? Norris had his hand on my back.

I didn't realize it, but I was clutching my chest and trying to breathe. Uh, what, what happened? I don't know. You yelled and then started hyperventilating. I slowly turned around to see everyone else and stopped working. Their eyes all on me. So another panic attack? I was really hoping this medication would subdue those.

I know you had some before, but... I've had them before, but they've always been mild. They've always been... What did you call them? Limited symptom attacks. LSAs. Right, well, this was different. This was no joke. I mean, I saw stuff.

Like, I felt like I was somewhere else. Where exactly? I don't know. It was like one of my dreams. I was someplace dark. The woods, I think, and there were these weird noises and rain. Let me see what I can do. I may be able to prescribe something else.

Or maybe we up the dose. But not curiosity, are you sure you've been taking your pills? Yeah. And you've taken them every night since that one. One day you mentioned. Yes. You didn't skip anymore. No, I'm telling the truth.

He rubbed his chin, obviously contemplating. Okay, maybe we can up the dose and have you take one in the morning and at night. But let me do a little research first. Uh, okay. Don't worry, Mike. We'll figure this out. But it took weeks before he claimed to actually have something new. And this new new prescription I was to pick up next Monday.

I forgot the name, but it was another pick championed by the therapeutic community. I'd had a few other panic attacks since the last with varying degrees of intensity. One day it was simple dizzying and shortness of breath, an LSA. The next, it was more racing heartbeat and bizarre visions. So I was definitely interested in this new medication. Dr. Romero thought maybe there was something that was stressing me out that was causing the panic attacks, but I couldn't think of anything. Sure, I had issues with Riders Block, but I couldn't imagine that being the culprit. I was a little antsy and nervous right now, though. I talked to Clark yesterday about Benny's Pub and Mountain Point,

and I was getting ready to head out. I wasn't sure what to expect. This could all be nothing. In fact, I even thought about skipping it, except something inside me made me feel this was important. The feeling wasn't one of deja vu. It was an odd internal feeling of needing to find out what was so damn important.

It was 6.45. Hey, maybe I'd be on time. A short drive and a panic attack later and I made it. I entered the tiny smoky pub. There's only like eight people here and half of them are playing pool in the back. playing pool in the back. I went to the bar and sat. The clock on the wall read five past.

Of course, late. There were two guys at the far end that the bartender was talking to. They finished their conversation, and the bartender laughed as she came over to me. You're a new face. First time here. That makes the third. one tonight. Are you a tourist? No, I moved here not too long ago. You're here, but Ketchikan. Oh. She looked over her shoulder at the people playing pool. Can I get you

something? Sure. I wasn't a big beer drinker, so it took me a moment to look over the options. I scanned the chalkboard, then taps. Can I just get a Calypso Odyssey? You got it. She poured the beer, a whole time looking towards the pool tables. Here you are. Thanks. You meeting someone here? Yeah. Would your name happen to be Mike?

I was taken aback. Yeah. She nodded and walked across the bar. I nervously sip my beer and watched her. Hey, hi. Shot. He's here. The pool game stopped. Everyone in the bar was now staring at me. Please don't have a panic attack. Please don't have a panic attack.

One man in the far corner of the room put down his cue and made his way over, beer in hand. He had a dark beard and shaggy hair that hung over his ears. He was a fit dude with a tight flannel shirt and jeans. He walked right up to me and stopped. He then looked over his shoulder at the rest of the the bar. They all stopped staring and return to conversing and drinking and playing pool. Even the bartender started wiping down the bar, acting like she was no longer interested.

Hi there. Hello. I'm I think I'm supposed to meet someone here, and I'm going to assume that someone is you. It is. Yeah. Okay. Well, my name's Mike Archer, and I... Oh, I already know that. Nice to meet you, Mike.

He stuck out of hand. I shook it. Firm grip. My name is Jerry Campbell, and I am really excited to talk to you. Okay. About what? He sipped his beer and smirked. About everything you forgot. What do you mean? There are some, uh, experiences that you have had that I doubt you can recollect. My accident? You mean your car accident? Yes. You know about that?

You the other driver? No. And how do you know? Friends with someone down at the docks? I'm a friend of someone else that you don't know. But someone who knows you. Cryptic? This also has to do with more than just your accident.

That clears things up. I have to be careful. with the things I say. Here? Anywhere. He took another sip of his beer and I did the same. I saw his eyes move about the room

and that's when I noticed the bartender giving us a bit of a side eye until... Aye, dear. May I get another? One of the two guys at the end of the bar was a bigger, disheveled, older man who waved at the bartender with his good hand. His other hand was missing. Okay, coming up.

The bartender grabbed a glass and poured a beer for the big burly man. I began to look around more. A man next to the missing hand man looked like he was about to fall asleep, his head, bobby. Maybe he was plastered. There was a younger couple at the table on the other end at the bar. Several guys were playing pool in the back.

The bathroom door opened and an older woman with shaggy gray hair set down. That's when I turned back to this Jerry who finished the last gulp and sat down his glass. Is this a joke? What? this meeting no it's not if you're worried about people listening

then why come to a place with people witnesses he suspiciously watched the bartender make her way to the missing hand fella can't trust everyone thank you dear a smile grew on my face and I couldn't help it this was definitely some weird joke

them what you don't trust them I motioned at the end of the bar the bartender one hand man and sleepy guy you can never be too sure come on this isn't real who are you i told you jerry campbell i came here to talk to you then let's talk what do you want one another uh sure thanks she took his empty glass put it behind the counter and then grabbed a clean one same please i watched his movements that at first seemed cool and carefree but now tense and delivery

he watched the bartender intently she poured his beer You have a tab, right? No, no. Remember? Paying as I go. That's right. He pulled out some cash and placed it in front of her. Thank you. Then he turned to me.

You play pool? It's been a while. Let's play a game. Listen, I don't get what this is, but like I said, if this is a joke... It's not a joke. I just want to talk. Right, about what? Let's talk and play. How do you know me?

I'll get to that. Come on. He didn't wait for a response. He just made his way to the back of the bar. Ugh. Before we made it back to the pool tables, I noticed him give a little look to the young couple by the window. The guy was clean-shaven with short hair,

while the girl was petite with long hair that almost reached her seat. This jury really was suspicious of everyone, but I still couldn't tell if it was an act. Grab a stick. I'll rock. I do want to reiterate, I'm not looking for a friendly night out. I don't even go out with my buddies from work. Now, do we know each other?

My memory, well... It's not so good? Not lately. Because of your car accident? That's what they tell me. Who's they? What? Who's they?

As we chatted, he gathered all the pool balls. I'm talking about my doctors, my psychiatrists, you know, people who were there. You talked to the people who were at the scene of your accident? No, I don't remember it much. Right. What about the doctors? Put the balls into the rack and drag it across the felt a few times to give them lined perfectly. What about the doctors? You talked to them?

Uh, sure. I'm sure I did. But you don't remember? No. What is this? I think I'm lying? No. Not at all. You grabbed a pool cue that was leaning against an unused table than another from the wall.

You want to break? I don't want to play. He smiled and pushed the pool cue into my hand. I reluctantly took it. You don't listen so well, do you? I just want to talk. Seems to me like you just want to play a game. And keep talking.

About how you think I'm lying? Grab the cue ball as he made his way around the table. around the table. Mike, I already told you. I don't think you're lying. He smiled and bent down, lined up a shot. I watched a shot.

The balls rolling. One fell in. Looks like I'm solids. I was getting heated. Jerry made his way to the cue ball's new resting place, bent down, aimed, and hit. But this time didn't sink one. Damn.

You're shot. Who the fuck are you? The bar instantly got quiet with my outburst. I hated that feeling of everyone's staring, but this guy was pissing me off. So much for trying to keep a low profile? Is that what you were really trying to do?

Seems to me like you're trying to be the center of attention. You walked over to me, stick in hand. Play one game. Talk to me. Calmly. Why? He looked around. All the patrons went back to their

conversations and games. If you don't tell me who you are, how we know each other, and what this is all about, I'm fucking walking. Jerry looked around, bit his lip. Enough was enough. I set the stick against the wall. I'm out. I pushed past him heading for the door. Then you'll never get rid of your panic attacks. I stopped, turned around. What? Did you, did you see me outside? No. Someone here tell you that? No. You know my psychiatrist? No. Then how did you know I have Panic attacks.

Call it a hunch. This is bullshit. Is it? Well, I can make a couple of other wild, but accurate guesses about your life as well. Nightmares, cold sweats, memory loss, a feeling of deja vu. You a shrink? No. I've just been through everything you have.

How do you know what I've been through? You don't even believe I was in a car accident? Because you weren't. Oh, yeah? I got closer to him, pulled down my collar. Then how did they get the scars on my face, neck, back, and arms? I pulled up my sleeves. I don't know.

I don't. But I know it wasn't in a car accident. How do you know that? The how isn't as important as the why. Okay. Then why do you know that? Because I need your help. With what?

stay and I'll tell you trust me trust you I don't even know you then let's change that he thrust his pool cue towards me it's your shot you

Tower 4, written by Robert M. Lamb, edited by Nia Sukvili and Robert M. Lamb, starring Jack Austin as Mike, and Mitchell Lee as Jerry, co-starring, Sean Wise, Nicole DeFanzic, Jose Carabio, Mark Koroftus, Amy Saunders, Daniel Ketchum, Michael Blakeman, and Megan Austin. Music provided by Taco at soundcloud.com slash made by taco. Brett Wilkins at Facebook.com slash Wilkins MusicFL. Kevin McLeod of Incompetec.com. And various artists at artless.com and pawn5.com. If you enjoy Towerfour, visit 7lamp.com for more podcasts, as this one. Also, don't forget to follow Seven Lamb on Facebook, Instagram, and X at Seven Lamb Podcasts. And if you'd like to help us out, we are on Patreon. You can visit patreon.com slash Seven Lamb, the number seven, L-A-M-B, and you can donate as little as a dollar a month,

and it all goes to helping us create content such as this podcast. We also have multiple tiers to choose from with tons of bonus content like bloopers, bonus episodes, live streams, scripts, and new shows. Creating audio dramas is super. time-consuming and expensive so patreon really helps us out again that's patreon.com slash seven lamb the number seven l-a-mb hope to see you there we also want to give a special thanks to all our patrons you guys help us keep going we want to give a special shout out to our seven lamb tiered patrons carter jewel chris williamson jacob talbert brad mccade and kelly foals from everyone here at seven lamb thank you

This has been a seven-lalm production. And now for a clip from our Patreon exclusive show, One Block. It was dark, and zombies were everywhere. They roamed during the day, but at night, it seemed like they all found their way to the city streets. I had to keep moving, though. Otherwise, those assholes would be on me in no time. Oh shit! I ran down another alley, past a gas station, and turned the corner onto a small two-lane road. Where the hell was I? I'd been running non-stop and I was getting exhausted.

I counted five zombies in front of me. I gripped my machete tightly and skulked forward, staying in the shadows. None of them had noticed me. I was hoping beyond hope that none of these were the fast types. God damn joggers. I passed 4th Avenue, getting closer and closer to the bay. But just as I saw the water, a truck came careening around the corner. Shit!

I ran down the sidewalk, jumping over a rusted bike and ducking. busted bike and ducking under the grasp of a scrawny undead. They shot at me, but hit the zombie. Almost got her! I quickly turned down the next street and made a bee line for the bay. There, there she is! There were so many zombies to my right, but they were all clawing at the bricked-up parking garage. Wait a second.

You're mine, girlie! Shit! The truck was gaining on me. There was no alley to duck into. Nothing to hide behind. And things got worse when a jeep came skidding around the corner ahead of me. I slid to a stop. I was trapped.

Now where to run to you now, baby girl. The truck passenger held his gun up and waved to me. All the zombies that have been clawing at the walls of the garage were now turning their attention to me and the vehicles. Shoot her in the leg and let's take her back. Harry loved to have her back alive. I don't know. I think we should let her be Z-Chap. No, man, just shoot her in the leg. We got a dip.

These fuckers look interested. None of them, runners. We good. He was right. All of these zombies were slowly shuffling towards me in the vehicles. The truck passenger aimed his gun as I lowered my machete. I couldn't believe it. There was no way out. I closed my eyes. My eyes shot open. The truck passenger had a huge hole in his chest.

He flipped out of the bed, hitting the pavement hard. What the hell? The truck driver was hit. The truck launched forward and slammed into a wall on the opposite side of the street. I spun around to see the Jeep taking off, but not making it far. Gunfire had rained down and hit everyone inside. inside, causing the vehicle to veer over a speed bump, into some bushes, and flip onto its side. Oh, shit!

I narrowly avoided being bitten, hitting a tall, scrawny ambler right in its side. Several more undead were closing in. Hey, kid! Over here! Over here. Kid! But I saw the woman who was shouting. She stood on the second level of the garage, leaning over the concrete wall. Get out of there! Zoomers are on the way!

Zoomers? That must have been her word for joggers. Where do I go? Pass that truck. We'll drop a ladder. There was a delivery truck wedged into the small exit ramp of the garage. I ran to it, weaving between undead assholes. I went to the other side where there was a brick wall between the garage and nearby hotel. Above the wall, barbed wire. Hey! I don't see a ladder!

But I did see three more people. They all looked over the covered concrete walkway of the hotel. Hey! Zombies were getting closer. Hey! But just then, a rope ladder unraveled from the second level of the garage. I jumped on it and climbed, looking back to see how close several zombies were to grabbing me. I fell to the ground as several people quickly pulled up the ladder.

I was instantly surrounded by six heavily armed men. Thanks. You're welcome. Now drop the machete. What? Disarm. Every armed man aimed a rifle at me. I had no other choice. Okay. Thank you.

The men parted, and I could see the entire second level now. Tons of cars, tents, work benches, plants, barrels, and other supplies. An older woman with a medium build and ponytail walked up. What's your name? Umaya. You bitten? No. You're not lying, are you? We saw you have a couple close calls.

Sure, close, but that's all. Uh-huh. Why would I lie? You'd figure it out soon enough. That we would. The woman crouched in front of me to get on my level as I sat up. Amaya, are you hurt? I'm fine. She motioned to all the scratches and bruises along my arms and neck.

She probably thought they were made by zombies. You sure? Yes. Good to hear. The woman looked to the surrounding men and nodded. Take her away. Hey! Wait!

If you want to hear more, visit patreon.com slash seven lamb. The number seven, LAMB. One block is accessed through three lamb tier or higher. There are currently eight episodes with more on the way. Hope to see you there.