Trading Secrets - 193. Dolores Catania: RHONJ fan favorite breaks down her $ecrets to honoring her values, staying Switzerland in the drama, and BTS of reality TV

Episode Date: August 19, 2024

This week, Jason is joined by entrepreneur and reality TV personality best known for her role on Bravo’s The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the one and only Dolores Catania! Dolores joined the cast back in 2016 and was voted as fan favorite Miss Congeniality across the entire Real Housewives franchise. In 2018, her passion for charitable work and helping those less fortunate has made her one of the more relatable and likable cast members of the show. In addition to her role on the show, she likes to express her entrepreneurial spirit by opening her own fitness center and flipping homes with her ex-husband.  Dolores dives into why she doesn’t watch the show, what she was doing for work before the show, how she learned she was dyslexic, how she was able to maintain her character and friendships on the show, how much of the show gets cut out, how Traitors compares to the housewives, her advice about money when going through a divorce, and the impact of brand deals. Dolores also reveals how she grew up, how she feels about prenups, what she spends the most money on, and having no regrets. Dolores reveals all that and so much more in another episode you can’t afford to miss!  Host: Jason Tartick Co-Host: David Arduin Audio: John Gurney Guest: Dolores Catania Stay connected with the Trading Secrets Podcast!  Instagram: @tradingsecretspodcast  Youtube: Trading Secrets Facebook: Join the Group All Access: Free 30-Day Trial  Trading Secrets Steals & Deals! Monarch Money: Monarch is the top-rated, all-in-one personal finance app. You get a comprehensive view of all your accounts, investments, transactions and more. Create custom budgets, track progress toward financial goals, and collaborate with your partner. Plus, Monarch helps you make smart money moves to get you closer to your goals and now get an extended thirty-day free trial when you go to Monarchmoney.com/SECRETS Bilt Rewards: Bilt is breaking ground as a neighborhood rewards program that hooks you up with points on your rent. Every month, pay your rent and watch the Bilt Points roll in.Pay rent hassle-free through the Bilt Rewards app. Your rent game just got a major upgrade! Bilt Points have been consistently ranked the highest value point currency by The Points Guy and Bankrate.Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to joinbilt.com/TRADINGSECRETS

Welcome back to another episode of Trading Secrets. I'm your host, Jason Tartick, and welcome to the pre-market trading segment. Before I even tell you about our guests, please go give us five stars in Apple. And next week, we are going to give something away from what I call the influencer closet. We get a lot of brands and PR companies sending the newest and hottest products and that closet is getting stacked right now. So I have stuff to give away.

Just give us five stars in Apple and let us know a guest or a topic you think we need to cover in our future episodes. Let's get into this episode with Dolores Katania from Real Housewives of New Jersey. This season just wrapped last week. There is a lot of action. If you go on TikTok or Instagram, you will see clips.

There was blow-up fights. there is huge conversation around Real House Wights of New Jersey getting renewed. This season might be our last season ever of this cast of Real House Wites of New Jersey. Now, if you're not a Bravo fan and you're not a Real House Wives and New Jersey fan, no worries. You are going to learn so much about Dolores' background, even what it was like for her to deal with dyslexia as a child. And in the recap, and even in the main episode, we get into deep discussions about what happened in our childhood that impact. who we are today, the career directions that we choose, how we manage money, and so much more. So what's cool about this episode is we go through the depths and challenges and struggles and

successes and hurdles of reality TV, but also of all the different moving parts in Dolores's life from a child to today. And you're going to hear everything from dating to education to career navigation, parenting, and more. This one is one you can't afford to miss. Now, a little update in the market. Wow, there's a lot of them. Honestly, the big one we've got to talk about, there is a huge data leak.

Billions of people's information, social security numbers, addresses, all of those things were leaked. So you have to be aware of that. Pay very close attention to your credit score. Make sure there aren't huge changes. You can pull your credit reports. make sure everything does look in line. The other thing to think through is just make sure that

you're not falling for fishing scams because if there's more information about you leaked, it's easier to fish you in. So be aware if you're getting like called by banks or Amazon texts, etc. Check everything with diligence. Another thing you could do I talk about on the recap is you go to you could go to pen tester.com. It's p-n-n-t-t-e-st-e-r.com. You're just putting your first name, last name, state and birth year. This is not an ad. I just read this in an article. It's a cybersecurity firm that's offering a free test that'll allow you to see if your information has been hacked. So it's P-E-N-T-E-S-T-E-R.com. It's just so relevant today. Also, something from the market you got to know. There was a college student financial survey that just came out

and we're seeing some interesting information. Student financial stress, seven and ten college students are feeling overwhelmed by their financial responsibility. Loan borrowing regrets. 61% of college students regret how much they borrowed with student loans. No debt repayment plan. One in five college students don't have a plan for how they're going to pay off their student debt. Poor financial grades. More than one in four college students would give their personal finances a grade of C or worse. Eager to learn. 85% of college students would take a course in personal finance if it was available and they got credit towards their degree. We have a little bit of an issue here we always have and this just supports the whole main thesis of this show.

I also read a stat the other day that millennials at the age of 40 have about 5% in the United States wealth at 40. The prior generation had about 10%. And then there is a comment from that stat saying clearly us following the path of taking out high debt loads going to school and working in corporate only is not been the way to build wealth. You know what? Enough of that talk. Let's get into a little personal life update, and then let's get into the main episode. Personal life update, I was in the Hamptons last weekend, and then it was in New York City for work. We have three great podcasts that we recorded this episode, Ryan Serhan, and one with my brother.

I am so excited for you guys to hear the one with my brother. Questions I've never, ever asked him before, I asked. Also, now I'm considering investing in a Broadway show that is run by Nick Jonas because his marketing group is putting on the entire show. So I'm actually putting together a group of investors, $200,000 at 25K, a clip to be an investor in the Nick Jonas show. And you get co-producer rights for putting the group together. So if you have interest, we are probably going to do eight people at 25K.

If you do have interest in that, I don't know, shoot me an email. Trading Secrets at jason tardock.com. And then this week, I will be in Tampa. So it was a wild week. We went from Hamptons. We were in New York City. went to Atlantic City at Oceans Resort and Casino. I had a great time there.

Then, oh, my God, we saw Eliza, I'm blanking on her last name comedian. She was so funny. The food there was great. The place was great. And then we are now back at John and Alex's in Long Island and Kat and I are leaving for Tampa this week. But you know what? Enough of my personal updates.

Enough of the market updates. Let's get into this episode. And trust me, stay tuned to the recap. It's a good one. with the one and only Dolores Catania. Welcome back to another episode of Trading Secrets. Today we are joined by entrepreneur and reality TV personality, best known for her role on Bravo's The Real Housewives of New Jersey,

the one the only, Dolores Catania. Dolores joined the cast back in 2016 and was voted as fan favorite miscongeniality across the entire Real Housewives franchise back in 2018. Her passion for charitable work and help, those less fortunate has made her one of the more relatable and likable cast members on the show. In addition to her role on the show, Dolores likes to express her entrepreneurial spirit after opening her own fitness center in addition to flipping homes with her ex-husband, which is well documented on the show. Today we are going to discuss all things real housewives

in New Jersey, her entrepreneurial and philanthropic endeavors, and what her approach will be when she joins the cast of Traders for Season 3, which will come out next year. Dolores, thank you so much for being on Trading Secrets. Hi, thanks for having me. So excited to have you here. Now, you have been traveling. You've been on TV.

We just saw Real Housewives of New Jersey finish up. Do you pay attention to? Because, like, I was on TikTok, and there's all these TikToks that people are talking about, your reaction to things. Like, do you watch the noise on the Internet? I can't. You just stay away from it.

I stay away from it. Yeah. I stay very far away from it. And there's also times that I will not watch the episode because I don't want to get mad at somebody I was on there. I don't want to relive the things that I went through back then. Yeah, I got that. It's like post-traumatic stress.

Yeah, it's true. And I don't want to fight with somebody on the internet who's just negative who's looking for my attention. Exactly. Yeah, I agree with that. That makes a lot of sense. What's your take on just the business perspective of this being the first time in the shows history that a reunion had been canceled needed this alternate reunion. I mean, NBC is going to

shake things up with us. You know, there was some stuff that happened off camera they weren't happy about and it just got too ugly at the moment. And I think it got so hot, it needs to cool down. Yeah, that makes sense. So there's a Frank Sinatra song. There is. Do you know that song? I had, I know you would know. You know, the song too hot. It had a huge Frank Sinatra song. You know, the song too hot. It had down. So that's my description of it. I don't know the fate of the show, but you never know from year to year whether you're getting signed up again. Yeah. I feel like, yeah, if, I feel like you will get signed up. Don't you feel like when you think about what the future holds for you, this doesn't feel like it might be the end for some people. It doesn't feel like it would be the end

of you on Real Housewives and New Jersey. I don't know yet because every, every year I tell myself, I'm fired. So if I have a job, I'm not, I'm excited. Yeah. I make the call to my friends, to my closest people every year and go, I'm out. I'm not coming back. For eight years, I've said I'm out. Since the year one, I'm not coming back. It was great. Thank you. I'll leave. So, you know, I never took it for granted. But again, I always prepared myself for the day that you don't come back. Yeah. You've gone part time and then full time, right? I was always full. Always full-time. Well, no one starts right away as a housewife.

Okay, okay. Back then, it was like eight years ago. It was like still like, you don't show up as a friend of. I think they just kind of said, you know, whatever. And then they decide if they're going to keep you or not after that first year. But every year is a new year. Do you feel like every year when you think about like what's next on the landscape of business, do you think, like, in your back your head, do you think you're going to get re-signed or do you think that you're just like,

you plan every year or something? you're not going to? I planned every year assuming I'm not. Amazing. I never lived beyond my means. Yeah. I always saved for a rainy day. Love that. And I just, just like worked hard every year to make as much as I can off film as much as on. I did my appearances. I never took a day off. Yeah. But again, like, I don't think in a business sense, I think I'm a worker. Yeah. Okay. Let's talk about before you're the voice of reason. And you are Switzerland. Everyone, talks about, and I think there's a lot of ways people can listen to this and bring that approach to their friend group and their workplace. So we're going to talk about that. Before we do,

though, before the show approaches you, and this was back in 2016, right? What were you doing for work? Like, what was your main source of income? What did the career look like? So things were hard. It was 2016. There was a crash, like before then, right? Yeah. What year was that? So 2008 to like 10, 11, like complete market crash and then slow. rebound. Yeah. So Frank had invested in a lot of things. Yeah. And it didn't go well. And I had to, with no education, scramble to say, what am I going to do? So in my mind growing up, I always looked up as the people that made the most money, had an education. That's all I knew. So I tried to get a small technical degree as a surgical tech because I liked watching house. I didn't know what to do.

You know, I had my real estate license, but real estate wasn't going anywhere, right? I don't love real estate, but you make money, but I wasn't active. You know, I was raising my kids. Yeah. And then I scrambled around. I got a small technical degree and it almost killed me. Wait, why is that? Because I realized in that moment that I wasn't stupid growing up

and put in all the slow classes. I was dyslexic. Only at 39 did I realize that. Get out of here. So here I am. I'm bartending nights because I had to make money why the kids were sleeping. I don't drink.

I've never been drunk. So I had to figure out how. Wait, you've never actually been drunk? No. Like, ever in your life? No. I can't get drunk. It doesn't.

Have you tried? Yeah. That's amazing. Doesn't everybody want to be drunk? Like, it's not fun. I'm saying. The next day sucked. You feel like you were on a 14-hour flight.

Sure too. No, I just, something chemically like I could drink, like, I started dating an Irishman. Yeah, okay. He thought he was going to get me drunk. I know, I drank him under the table. Like, he was like, whoa. Whoa, what's going on here? But yeah, there's something I just don't get wrong.

I don't like to drink either. Going back to dyslexia, how did you find out at age of 39 that you were dyslexic? Like, what was, what happened? I had to read the same sentence in the book I was given maybe three or four times. So then I realized, like, when I tried to write things down, they were backwards. Like, I would write numbers backwards or, like, when I was trying to study. Yeah. I hadn't been to, like, school since 1988.

Right. And I felt stupid, so I never thought of going back to school because I was always chastised for spelling, for math, I could not, till this day, I can't do math. Interesting. Isn't that fascinating that there are things that we just didn't know about then and the confidence, the mental aspect of like where the place could change the whole trajectory of what we do and how we do it? You know, first coming on the houseways, I wouldn't public speak. I was offered some awards for like saving some dogs and getting involved and using my platform.

I turned them down. I actually ran off the stage one day. Wait, why? Public speak. I couldn't. Do you get nervous or it was because you felt stupid? I felt stupid. But you're like, I'm looking at you and talking to you, you're such a great speaker.

I felt stupid. Interesting. I couldn't speak in front of people. How did you get over that? Speaking in front of, like, I had asked people if they wanted me to get up and speak, would they make it like a conversation? Okay. So that's when I started to do it.

I said, don't, you know. But if you know what you're talking about. Yeah. I just felt like I didn't know what I was talking about about anything. Interesting. Okay. Well, you've come through a lot. You've learned a lot.

I also read that you worked in the prison system. I did. Tell me about that career path. So I grew up in Patterson. If anybody knows about Patterson, it's amazing place. I wouldn't trade growing up there for anything, but it wasn't an easy place to grow up, you know. And my dad was a cop there. My dad was a Marine.

He was a cop. And I always looked up to him. He became the chief of police. Okay. And he was very much respected, everywhere he went. So I always wanted to be what he was. Yeah. And I knew you didn't have to go to school to be a cop back then. You didn't have to go to college. You had to pass a civil service test. Right. Which it's like a common sense more tests. Like you can't read into the question. I watched my dad take many tests to get to where he was. Do you need a two-year degree to be a cop? Now you do. Now you do. But back then? Okay. Got it. Okay. Interesting. So you were going to pursue being a police officer. I was pursuing being a police officer. That's all I knew. That's all I ever wanted. So I worked in the prison system because that civil service test only comes around every four years.

Okay. God. And I was too young. I had missed the cutoff. So I worked. per diem in the jail until I was able to be a patrolman. Interesting. I went to, I always wanted, I was like fascinated with true crime. So I went to a police academy in high school. Oh, cool. And we had to get sprayed with Mace at the end. Did you get sprayed with Mace? That's barbaric. It sucks. Yeah. You're like, yeah, you're like not worried about it. Yeah, exactly. My brother was a cop. He'd come home with Mace. Like you just get used to that. Like, yeah, Mace on your clothes. Yeah. So all different career paths for you. And then. A couple. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing I wouldn't do. If I had a work, I worked.

Gotcha. Nothing was beneath me if I had to work. If real housewives in New Jersey didn't come your way, what do you think the career would look like for you? I don't know. I just don't know. Okay. Because, you know, being a surgical assistant,

which is what I actually be, it wouldn't have, it was hard. I had to work a couple jobs. They were like surgical, then I would do medical billing after that. And, you know, it was just maybe I would still be doing that, but I don't think so. Okay, but here we are, 24, still in the game, just finished the last season.

When you started in 2016, how do you know how much you should be compensated? Like, how do you even know where to start when they approach you to be on a show like this? Do you talk to the castmates? Do you just kind of just take what you're given? What does that look like? I didn't have a lawyer. Well, my ex-husband was lawyer, so he looked at the contract. Yeah.

You don't start off with a lot of money. Yeah, okay. Very little. Like less than 50,000 per season? No, about that. You start off around there. Okay. And then you get raises after that.

Okay. But, you know, I just was happy to have a job, and I was happy to make that money, and I was happy to show up. And then I wasn't going to compromise, though, who I was for that money, no matter how much it was or how much I needed it. And there were very big decisions in that first year to say, because I wasn't in a good place financially, to say, well, you know, maybe. maybe you would be better if you did this or said this to your friend. And I said, no, that's not me. Interesting. That's not me.

Yeah. Knowing that I was going back to making four jobs, working four jobs to make that one salary. Yeah, especially in reality TV, because usually, especially if you want to get renewed, right, if you stir drama up, you are creating more value, which then... You don't get paid more for more value. No. Okay. I mean...

For stirring up drama. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that you're not getting paid by how you perform that season. Yeah, but do you ever think in your head, like on reality TV, if I perform more, I'll be a mom. I have a secured spot.

Yeah, exactly. But you never let that get to you. You always said, like, I'm still going to remain myself through and through thick and thick. Yeah, I didn't know any other way. I mean, it's the way you're raised, right? Yeah, exactly. You know, there were times I felt guilty. Like I'd say, I could be like stern so much.

I could do this. Yeah. But, you know, my kids could have more if I do that. but there was a guilty part of me saying, I'm still not going to do that and I'll just make sure they're okay. Yeah. I think there's something extremely intuitive, intelligent, and brilliant about the way you were able to maintain your character and also maintain your friendships when everyone was split. And I think a lot of people deal with this in their workplace. I think they deal with it at home. I think they deal with it like families and relationships. And it's really, really hard to do. So for anyone back home, that feels like they're in the middle of drive. or in the workplace. They're in the middle of people pulling left and right. What are some

like pieces of advice you would give them when they are that soundboard for their group? Because you've been doing it now for eight seasons. You can't succumb to the pressure of taken aside when you don't want to. If you're friends with two people and they're fighting, you don't have to support that fight. You just have to be a supportive friend. You don't support the beef. You support the friend. And you have to be able to separate that. And not everyone's going to be happy with you all the time. Yeah. You're not going to be the one that they trust, even though you could be trusted more than anybody else in the room. Right. They're not going to be happy with you. You're not going to be like the most loved person in that moment. But, you know, you're also just being who you are. So it doesn't

make you less of a friend. Because if any one of those girls who are upset with me, if I didn't take a side, called me at 2 o'clock in the morning to give them whatever I had, I'd do it. Or if their family needed me, I'd do it. And I'm not going to stab them in the back. Even if they told me something and they stabbed me in the back, I'm not going to use that against them what they told me. I'll just never talk to them again. So do you put, is it, I feel like there's so many manipulating in the worlds of business or the worlds of even just personal life and especially financial life. Do you think you just have like a massive instinct when someone's trying to manipulate you and then you just put up boundaries immediately. So is that kind of your tactic then?

Because I feel like everyone's kind of pulling at you in the show to get you to take their side because they feel like if they can get Dolores's side, they've won. You feel that? I do. And I've been pressured, even sometimes, not even by them, by people in their group, like people outside of the show. Yeah. Yeah. Constantly angling. Yeah. And you know, I have to say that people expect you to make a, have a reaction to things. People have wanted me to be mad when I didn't want to be. Yeah. And no matter what they told me to get that, that switch to flip, I wouldn't do it. Yeah. Because I'm like, I'm not mad about it. And I'm not going to fucking be mad about it. You don't want me to fucking pick a side. You don't want me to fucking pick a side. When you say it

like that, I'm like, I don't want you to pick a side. I don't want you to pick aside. Don't make me fucking pick a side. Be fucking happy. I'm Switzerland right now. Right now. everybody. Yeah. So that's just how I feel about it. And I could, I get texts. Everybody's pissed off at me. I see they can piss off me.

But they'll get over it because I never hurt them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. I think what I was on TikTok today, scrolling, just preparing for this interview. And everyone's talking about you putting Teresa in her place with Louis comments. People are like, wow, Dolores spoke up and she spoke up in a stern way. And it was like, and people were just like completely, I think you just like, when you spoke in that type of manner, you grabbed the world's attention for those that watch the show. And I'm wondering what your thoughts are when you watched it back, but you haven't

even watched it back. I don't want to watch it back. Because I knew when I did, I'm like, ah, yeah, this is going to be a thing. But, you know, you have to, when you're a real friend, you also, and I, you know, it was kind of a visceral reaction. But again, it's for two reasons. Yeah. Number one, he's going to get flack for that. Yeah. And number two, it shouldn't have been said, right? Yep. But, you know, he's going to get something, he's going to get hit for that. Like, you know when, and I'm not saying I'm his parent, or when a kid falls and your parents

yell at you and say, I told you not to fall and then you're mad. I'm like, what are you doing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. What are you doing? Yeah. So, that kind of thing. Like, I was, when I get mad, when I get hurt, I get mad. Yeah, for sure.

So I was, you know, I was upset for what was sad. I was upset for, you know, saying, listen, we don't have to have a reaction to everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Yeah. That's the other thing. Like, fight your time. You don't always have, sometimes people think that, oh, I don't want to be made a fool out of. I need to make a point of this. Yeah. You don't always have to make a point of something. Correct. I also think you can't grow, like whether it's business, financial or personal situations, you can't grow unless there's healthy conflict. And I think healthy conflict is good.

And I think, I don't know if you feel this being in the show, but in general, I feel like a lot of people for security will surround themselves by echo chambers, right? They'll only surround themselves by people that will tell them they're right because they feel good about it. But you can't grow without that conflict. Well, no. That's everyone. You're not, you're the opposite of echo chamber. Like, you tell it how it is when it is and you try and like kind of be tactful with that. And I think that's refreshing to see.

And I think more people need to find mentors in business and in life. and in their personal lives like you who will always shoot it straight and keep it real, right? Yeah, and my kids get that from me too. I'm not just like that with my... And I want constructive criticism. Yeah.

I get it all the time. Yeah. I'm like, all right, all right, I get it. I hear you, I get it. And, you know, just say it to me. Just say it to my face, though. Like, don't say it behind my back. Yeah, not behind the back bullshit.

And, you know, another thing my father always said is I didn't teach you to be a friend when it's easy to be a friend. Oh, I love that quote. There's so much in this show. I'll never complain about my job. I love my job so much. Yeah.

But there's a lot of my family and where I came from. They didn't show ever. Interesting. Like, I got the key to the city of Patterson. Yeah, I read that. They filmed it. My dad, like, was walking down the street and cop cars were stopping, and, like, fire trucks were stopping and running off and shaking my father's hand.

And here I am walking in to get the key to the city, and they never showed it. Why do you think they don't show? I don't know. Like, I wonder what the business... thought process. Because there was other stuff going on that they wanted a show, but they cut so much of my family out and my background. They only started showing my work with the shelter after I was on for like five years. And I was there like three days. Every time they called me for something, production, I'd be at the shelter. Yeah. And they're like one person came and said,

well, we should probably film that. And then it was like people got to know me. See, I think that's a missed opportunity because I was reading some articles this morning on like this season. And one person said, this season feels like it's toxicity with no teeth and the viewers have been left in the wind. And I think about the depth of what they could have shown with what you just shared and how that's not toxicity. That's giving back. That's that's big beauty. It's motivational. And it feels like some of those things, I don't know, they should have incorporated more of those. When you think about last year at this time, so suppose we were here a year ago, I was like, all right, Dolores, do you think there will be another season? What would you have said a

year ago. I told everyone a year ago, pulling your horns. Yeah. Chill out. Yeah. All separately, on camera, off camera, just sit back. Stop. Whatever is going on. Yeah. That's going to get the network to a breaking point with us. Just stop. We have a really good group. Yeah. We're number one show a lot of times. Yeah. We're the most relatable. But we can't do it if we're just ripping each other. Yeah. It's got to, please stop. Just ignore them. Yeah. Don't, you know, I saw it coming.

Yeah. Give me the crystal ball. You got the crystal ball. You're planning your next year. Give me a percentage. What is the percentage of likelihoodness? Like 10%, 20%, 100%, 99%, you think that there will be another season going in 2025.

I can't even say. You don't even know. They don't know. Yeah. How about this? Yeah. They don't even know. Okay.

They say, well, you know, talk to you next year. To talk to you next year. It didn't work out good for New York. They didn't get cold. Right, right. But, you know, maybe from some divine intervention. Yeah. Something good will happen.

It takes my breath away because I've worked really hard. We all have, we've shared so much. And one thing about us, all is we're very family-orientated. There's some things that we all have in common. And why couldn't we just pull it together? Yeah. When I tell you begged. Yeah.

bag them all. Interesting. You were the quarterback. They should have listened to the quarterback there. They couldn't. But we'll see. Why could, why don't you say they couldn't? Everybody had to have the last word. Yeah. You know who has the last word? Is that always how it is? Yeah, but let somebody destroy themselves. That's what I say. Like, if somebody's like, if I, sometimes if you ignore things, they go away. Yeah. Oh, interesting. Let it pass. I like that. All right. So suppose the show, let's just say it doesn't come back, right? You got the Ecoelectric company. So you're offering plumbing and electrician service. What are some other things that are on your mind as it relates to like your career and business if it doesn't come back? So beauty.

Okay. Like a lot of women, my age, go through a lot of different changes. Okay. And there's just not enough about it. There's not enough talk about it. There's not enough beauty products about it. So I've been working with New Beauty Magazine and I'm a sucker for a good like face cream. I used to spend a lot of money on creams, but there's this. Beauty Pass now that I partnered up with them. Cool. So Beauty Pass is you text 5275. Okay.

Scroll down to the message bar, put in Dolores. And every week, it's called Free Gift Friday. Cool. You'll get a message saying, this is the cream we're sponsoring this week. It could be like a $130 cream for like $15. Gotcha. And they'll send it to you for nothing. Oh, wow.

There's no trick to it. There's nothing. You fill out a little questionnaire. And if you want to even take it, you do or you don't. Okay. Every week I get a new beauty product. So I started thinking, like, there's not enough products for women my age and when I'm, you know, hot flashes and all stuff you want to know about you.

But, yeah, so I'm thinking of getting into the beauty business to some extent. Okay. So you get into the beauty business a little bit. Text Dolores to 5275 free shipping and handling on some of this stuff. So you get, all you have to do is pay shipping and handling. Pay shipping and handling. Well, it's going to cost like $15 for like they feature a new beauty product. every week. Yeah. And it could be anywhere from like $80 to $150, just like the top

picks of like what's out in the new beauty magazine. It's amazing. Okay. So you might dab into the beauty space. I'm really, that's on my mind right now. Okay. That's top of mind. But we also know you'll be on reality TV. Right. So we know you're going to be in more. We're going to see you on Traders. Everyone's asking. I mean, Traders is like the new hottest show out there right now. I know. I mean, you met Alan Cummings. Like just how. What did you think about that? Alan Cumming is the most amazing person. It was the experience of a lifetime for me to be there.

And it's so funny because we all know who's on. Yeah, that's already been released. It's already been released. So I can tell you. We got Wells. We got Gapie. Michelle, Wells, Gabby, Dorinda Medley, Bob Harper. Renee Spears' ex is on there.

Sam's on there. Bob Harper. Oh, what's his name from the royal family? Ivor McBatton. Okay. Do you know? I don't know who that is. I remember that.

The show The Crown. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The first four episodes. Like, it's McBatton. Windsor McBatton is the name of the castle. So he's a royal. Yep.

Imagine a royal on with a housewife. Don't even ask. No, like so much shit. Oh, my God. Being on the show of real housewives, I mean, you're navigating a lot of waters with cameras around 24-7, was navigating the waters of real housewives harder or easier than Trayette? Right now, anything is easier than housewives.

Yeah, right? But it made you think. Okay. So Traders is like, it breaks you down because you don't know who's kind of like the housewives actually. Yeah. But the missions were unbelievable and yeah, it's just so amazing. And this season is going to be off the hook. Okay.

What was... We had some gamers. Gamers are a different breed. Oh, yeah. Oh, like actual gamers. No, like Survivor, Big Brother. Because they're built for that. It's all they do.

Yeah, they'll backstab you. They'll do everything. Oh, I don't know from nothing. Oh, yeah. I'm not, like, this was a whole new realm for me. I didn't know that these gamers were like this. Talk to me about this because I know you can. Oh, Bob the Drag Queen?

Oh, there's another good one. All right. Talk to you about this. I know you can't say much about what happened on the show, of course. We'll have to have you back. But tell me about your biggest takeaway. Like, you're with all these different people, with different backgrounds, going through this crazy.

game that is like the hottest game on TV now. You're done filming. Don't spoil anything. We don't anybody get in trouble. What was your biggest takeaway having that experience? What did you learn most about that experience? I'm not as street smart as I thought I was. Interesting. Yeah. That's, I feel like that says a lot coming from you. And then you also had some powerhouses like Gabby and Chrisel there. Gabby and Prichelle are my love. Like I want to be their mom. Like I told that. Like I want to. They are so, they inspired me so much. much the younger generation, these women are so strong and so confident. I know they've been through a lot, but they're so smart. And I looked, I loved hearing them speak. I love how, like, they stuck

together as women. Yeah. And that really, I learned a lot from that. And I love that younger generation. I want all the younger women to stick together and not tear each other down. And, you know, they had me going. Hell, yeah. You learned from them. But they did. I learned. from them and I was so proud of them. Yeah, but they can also learn a lot from you. And I think about you've been through a lot, you've seen a lot, and you've been through a divorce. And so on this show, we talk a lot about finance and business and life navigation.

Knowing what you know now about the whole process of going to divorce and protecting yourself through it and just all the moving parts, you have any advice for people that are either thinking about getting married or they're getting married or anyone that's even going through a divorce as it relates to like just the business, the finance, the stress of it all that. I will tell anybody, you both have to be in charge of your money. If you're both working together to put money into that pot, even if you're not, even if you're a stay-at-home mom or you're a stay-at-home dad,

you're also putting your lifetime, your sweat equity into it. So you should absolutely have equal say in where that money's going and always know where that money's going. Yeah, I think that's the biggest thing of transparency. You've got to be able to see it. You've got to be able to see it. educate. Don't think somebody else is smarter than you. A lot of times I always thought, like, Frank was a lawyer. Like, he's smarter than me. I didn't handle everything. There were decisions

he made that I wouldn't have made. Yeah. But, you know, like, I'm just telling you, just, just you need to both be on the same page with your finances. Nobody is more important than the other person in a relationship when it comes to finances. Was there ever a big learning lesson you had in finances where, like, you weren't on the same page or where there wasn't transparency and you found out about something that you're like, this will always be a learning lesson to me that I'll pass on to others? Just coming into my getting married as a young, meaning Frank, as a young girl who had never been on a vacation, who never left her neighborhood, who never went to school, waitress, you know, just, just like I said, just educate yourself in your finances. I don't care what you do

for a living. I think that's so important. Especially who you've done so much in philanthropy, in entrepreneurship, and you had even alluded earlier that you didn't, you're not good with numbers, you said. And it's not like you have a business degree, but you're still doing it all. And I think that's motivation for so many people. Like, you don't need the degree. You don't have to be the best with numbers. You can still do it, right? You could still do it. You're not dumb because you don't have a degree. Right. Look, my boyfriend came here in his 20s with maybe $50 in his pocket. if that was a lot. Yeah.

And he has made, it's the American dream. He is one of the biggest contractors in the city. Ecoelectric is a huge. He says two rolls, he's three rolls where he says right now. Like, he just got the other one. Yeah. Like, Paul Connell is the American dream. That is nice.

And he probably got thrown out of his car. Oh, wow. Wow. Now look at him. One of the biggest guys out here just absolutely killing it. When you think about like your career back to the real housework, of New Jersey days from 2016 to now, every one of those years, would you say, was it the show that was like majority of your income or were there's some side hustle projects you were doing

along the way that outpaced that income? Instagram, influencer. Yeah. I mean, at the time, I mean, at 2016, this influencer stuff, you would know better than me. Just started coming around. Yeah. During COVID. Yeah.

I made a lot of money on Instagram. Yeah. I made a lot. Like from big brand deals? Was that the best way to make it? Yeah. And do you have a specific niche that you were getting? Was it mostly beauty?

Was it mostly certain types of brands? It was mostly beauty. And there was stuff I turned down because I always wanted to keep my reputation like, I don't know. Some company sent me some cellulite machine that probably broke apart when I opened it when they sent it to me. And it was a lot of money. I sent it back. I can't ask people that follow me to trust me and do that. Like, I can't do it.

Yeah, you can't. You got to promote stuff. The people that follow me work hard. for their money. Yeah, for sure. They work really hard for their money. I pay very much attention. I might not fight with people on Instagram, but I'm looking at who needs help with their dog. I'm looking at who follows me. I call them my friends. I don't have fans. I have friends. Yeah. So I couldn't, I couldn't do that. I'm not lying. I'm not doing that. Do you guys, so the other real housewives, you guys all have Instagram followings at this point?

You're all doing influencing and you're all new to it. Are you guys having conversations? Like, did you do this brand deal. How much did you get paid on? Yeah, we do. You're collaborating. What does that collaboration look like? Like, how do those business conversations happen? Well, you know, some people will tell you what they made. They'll tell you around what they made. I'll be like, you know, is this, is this the right number for this? And they're like, I made more than that or, yeah, take it. That sounds good. And then, of course, there's the appearances. Yeah. And that's a huge portion of income too. I have my game coming up this week. If you want to come. Tell me about the game. It's Battle for Brooklyn. It's Maimonides.

hospital. Okay. And it's mostly a charity-driven hospital. So it's the housewives play against the doctors. Okay. Cool. And the money goes to the cancer center, like the breast cancer center, and they never turn anybody away. So Maimonides have been open about, I think, 120 years, seven days a week, and never turned one person away. So they're driven by charity. Like, they need all the money they can get. Let's go. Real housewives are bringing it in. You guys got to go check that out. Last question I got about negotiation. Do you talk to the other real housewives, the closest ones about what they're getting paid on the season. Like before you negotiate, do you guys call each other and say,

hey, how much you getting paid should we negotiate or do you guys not talk about it? We don't talk about that. Okay, you just kind of put the walls up and you're like that. We put the walls up, yeah. Okay, got you. Listen, I was very happy. I don't need to be the highest paid. Okay.

I just be fair because, you know, when they trim the fat, don't look at me. You're not at the top. I know my word. And I'm happy and I appreciated my job every single day. I love it. We know you're going to be on traders. So many years on Real Housewoods in New Jersey. Do you think TV is in your future in other capacities? Do you want to get into hosting any other endeavors like that? I mean, I would love that. Sure. Like, I always say, like, I just joined the SAG. Yeah. I just joined. So maybe an actress? I don't know. Like, I can play a mob wife now.

Oh, hell yeah. You could. Like, I could just like, I don't take acting lessons, but I know that lifestyle. Like, I grew up in New Jersey. Like, you just know. And I feel like you could play nice at dinner and then someone crosses you, you'll get up and you'll like slap the wine, flip the table and be like, don't fuck with me. Yeah. Yeah, I can see it. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I think you need to audition or something like that. I mean, like, listen, I've been working since I'm 14. I'm going to take a couple months off and get my head together and see whatever happens. When you think about the finances from 14, do you have one memory, either for good or bad as it relates to money? Either like when you got a certain check and how big it was or you lost a certain amount of money or there's one money

memory. So I can tell you one, one night things were rough. You want a bad one or a good one? Why don't you take a bad and a good one? Okay. So I'll give you a bad one. Okay. One night things were really rough and I was bartending at as like not a great bar because I wasn't a good bartender. Yeah. So I didn't make a lot of money that night. I ran out of gas on the way home. Okay. I was too proud to call anybody to pick me up. So I walked home at like 2 o'clock in the morning in the winter. I want to say that was 20. How long was that walk? I thought I could make it. So it was like long enough in the, in the winter, but it was about like, not a few blocks, but I don't know, like distance. Yeah. Long enough, felt long in the dark. I could tell you that.

Interesting. And it was funny because my sign had left me a note on the pillow saying, mom, you'll never have to work like this again. Oh, geez. He's in finance now. He's doing great. Yeah, he's doing great. And then you have a daughter who's a vet, Aaron. She's a dog. So it was kind of good that they saw those. They had everything and then they had nothing. So that was number one. And then just I was really proud when I started making money and I could just fly to see my kids

and leave the money at school. Yeah. You know, because they've always worked so hard. What about you said you grew up in a lower class? Yeah, yeah. My dad was a cup. Would they make in the 70s, 14,000 a year? My mom was a waitress.

So I remember being sick one day and I said, I don't feel like working. I was like a senior in high school. Yeah. Yeah, I was a senior. And she goes, it's not fair to the other waitresses. I'll carry your trays, but you got to come to work. Yeah.

But you, so you grew up in a situation like that where your mom's, you know, serving tables and your dad's a cop. But you're now surrounded by so much wealth that it's like almost like, what the fuck? What is your relationship with money? Like, do you look at this? Like, do you think some people in your circle just take it for granted, given what you've seen from being a child, than now? Like, what's your relationship? Well, none of us grew up with money. Yeah, that's not one of us. So I think that it's exciting to grow up and then have money and be able to spend it. Yeah. But it wasn't, I don't forget, it wasn't too long ago that things didn't go well

for me from some bad business decisions, not on my part. And so that's a very fresh memory. And I always, you know what I like? I like being able to spend money, like pick up the bill. Like, I'm a guy. I'm like a guy. I hate to tell you my guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm like, no, no, I got it. I got it. Like, with my friends, I'm always paid. But as long as I have the money to do that, I don't need the nicest car. Yeah, I drive a really nice car.

You know, I have a whatever. What are you driving? Mercedes GL, like the Jeep. Oh, yeah. Those are sick. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

We've got to get you a mic too. It's unbelievable. You know, because there's a certain things you have to look at, right? But it's not important for me to have, I've had it, I've lost it. I made it again, but I'm getting old on. want to work that hard again. Okay, I got you. This is a hot topic I feel like right now, dating and the whole like money situation. People are talking about it everywhere on social media. When you start dating, like do you have a take for the women that are out there?

Are there questions they should be asking about money? Do you think people should talk about money when they're dating? Like, who should pick up the bill? The guy should pick up the bill. Every time, all time. Give me your take on it. Let's go. What's your take on it? He should pick up the bill. And I don't care what he does for a living. If he's a worker, you want somebody. I will go through the mud for you, but I have to know that I have that security. Okay. I like that. I'm not a gold digger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just the way I think of as a man. Yeah. Like that to me as a man, because you may fall on hard times and I'll pick up that tab when you fall in

hard times, but you better be able to, don't fall in hard times because you don't wake up to go to work in the morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're sleeping in the day, it's better because you were up all night working. Work it, I got. Okay. I like that. Do you have a take on? It's a very hot topic now. that people are, like, very opinionated at preemps. For preempts, against preempts, what's your take on preemps? I don't have a problem with preempts. Okay. I don't, but there should be, like, a contingency in there that you are taking care of.

Got it. Yeah. Like, you can't give your youth to a man as a woman and not get compensated for that. If he decides to go get somebody fucking trade you in for somebody younger. Yeah. You better know that you're going to be okay. Yeah. So I don't, I'm not totally against preempts.

But is there a fair aspect to it? There should be. Yeah. Of all the things that you've seen just with earnings and success you've had, what's like the biggest money lesson you've learned? Don't trust somebody with your money. And did you get burned by that? No.

Okay. But you've just seen enough shit. I've seen enough shit. Yeah. You don't trust your account and don't trust your finance person. You know every dime that comes in and goes and have the control over it. You can have somebody to tell you what to do with it, but you have to have control of that money.

Don't lose control of your money. Because don't give that up. Okay. I like this finding. Am I right to say that? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I totally agree with it.

I mean, I think the biggest thing I think personally with money is you got to have visibility to it. You got to see where it's going. Every single day. Every single day. And then you can't make decisions to improve your finances, improve your career or track, do anything unless you have visibility to it. And we know that like in relationships, just about 50% of us,

them cheat through money. They lie, steal, and cheat through money. So not having visibility to that puts you in a position where you're going to get cheated on manipulated or stolen with your money. So you just have to see it. You have to talk about it. You have to know it. That's my take on it. Really know your risk. Really know your risk. A hundred percent. What do you think? This is a fund finance question. What is one thing you think you overspend on? But like you know you overspend on it and you're like, I don't care. Oh, clothes? Clothes. Is there like a certain design or certain store? No, I mean, I, if I'm going, I just, I just spent a lot of money on clothes and it's What's like your go-to pick though? Everyone's going to want to know. Dolores is go-to.

No, like it's not one specific brand like FAR tech I'm on or, you know, things like my sort, like just like that. Like, okay, I was just on, watch what happens live. I spent two grand on my dress, two on my shoes, a thousand on my shoes, then hair and makeup, you know, you want the best of, you know, things like that. Yeah, watch what I feel like... You won't be able to wear it again. Yeah. You're not wearing it again.

Why? What would happen if you did? You're going to get chirped. Yeah. People are going to give you shit about it. Well, yeah. I mean, I don't care if I don't care. I don't make my decisions, but I've already been seen in a picture with that.

Yeah. I mean, I'll wear it, but I don't know. Where will I wear it to? I got a question. It's a sick brand. Watch what happens live. I was the bartender one. You were?

Yeah. Who was on with you? I had so much fun. Brittany Cartwright. And then the girl from, Bridgerton. Bridgetton. She was like the main actress from Bridgetton.

Now, what was most interesting to me? One, the studio is very small. Super small. Two, Andy Cohen's great at what he does. He's so amazing. Three, the speed at which they are searching for tea on that show is like I've never seen. It's like 40 questions of give me tea, give me tea, give me tea, give me tea, give me tea. And you know what?

And thank you because last week I got in a little, you know, they were like, oh, who do you want to back. I said, oh, Teresa, and we were talking about Jen Fessler, and I'm like, oh, Jen Fessler, but I'm friends with everybody on the show, so I think everyone should come back. Yeah. Oh, I didn't go over. Why did they not go over? Well, because I didn't say, like, people who I'm closer with. And then people thought that I didn't want them to come back. Let me just tell you. I don't even know if I even want you to replay this because then they relive it, they hear it. But I mean, yes, the speed of, here's the thing with watch what happens live. You're so smart. Yeah. Because you have to answer those questions, those

crucial questions on a dime. Yeah. And you better answer them right. Yeah, because the tough thing is, if you answer them wrong, you're actually doing yourself a favor because you're giving them good TV. If you answer them right, you're playing too careful and they won't have you back. So like, like Tyler Cameron, for example, he's been on the show, he's from the batch franchise, he's been on that.

And he's like, you kind of have to step into it and give them the good shit. Because if you don't give them the good shit, they're not going to have you back. Yeah, well, they'll have us back because our episode airs and then whoever that episode's about, you're going on. Yeah, exactly. So that's kind of, okay. But now what? Yeah. We're not on anymore right now.

So then what? But as far as somebody who's not on a Bravo show like yourself, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's it. What is the hardest business thing about being a real housewife in New Jersey? Is it the press? Is it the live shows?

Is it the full filming the season? Like, what's the most challenging thing about it? well, you have to be transparent no matter what. Like having a relationship on the show isn't always easy. It's hard on relationships. It's hard on friendships. The relationship, like, you know, are saying something. You can't take back what you said.

Yeah. Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, you can't put it back in. Yeah. And sometimes it may not hit, but when it does, I mean, sometimes it's easier to predict the weather than it is to when people are going to get like take something and run with it yeah there were times where I said something I'm like oh shit people are going to go after me and they didn't and then there was another time I said something that was like nothing and I got a little bit of shit about it yeah so you just never know

the climate of which is going to hit but you can never like they're like no we're not taking it like you could call and say please please and they're not doing it I like what you said once the toothpaste is out of the tube there's no putting it back in is there what you look back at your career journey with Real Househawks in New Jersey? Is there one, what are you most proud of when you think about all the things that you've accomplished business-wise or just your brand on the show? Because you are a living, breathing brand every day. Like, what are you most proud of in this journey? The philanthropy part of it, like that I was like this game coming up. Yeah. Like I remember standing on that field, Tiki Barber through like a ball to like Little Frankie, who used to

wait online to have his shirt signed by him. And I looked up at the stands and everybody was so happy. And I looked over at the doctors and they were having a great time. They deserve to be recognized for the. And I thought like, wow, this is it. Like, this is the best. Yeah. When you can use a show like and use it for that type of impact. What a beautiful thing. Your whole journey, biggest regret. That's your biggest thing you're most proud of. What do you think your biggest regret is from 2016-20204 Bravo Real Housewives New Jersey you think about it what's one thing you regret I don't have one I love that answer just live it do it breathe it forget about it own it and own it I don't have a regret I love it all right what can we expect business wise

what tell us a little bit more what do you think's coming what are some things look forward to tease us a little bit on what's coming up with the Lord's I have a little I have a beauty product in mind. And it's not like I just put my name on something. This is something I'm going to put a lot of work into. Okay. And it's going to be for like women my age. Okay. And that will if when and if this comes out, you could find it where on your, just go to your Instagram page? I'll probably, I'll probably do like something with New Beauty Magazine. Okay. But yeah, I mean, I don't really know, you know, it's just a thought right now. Like I said, I'm not a business person, but who knows what I'll become. You're not a business person, but you are a business. You're a brand and I'm a business. You're

making it off of Instagram. You're killing it extremely likable. The last thing I want to talk about is that you recently spoke about taking Ozempic and just a little bit about owning, like own your path. Like stop, like stop worrying about what everyone thinks. You can never face a decision in your life worried about what somebody else is going to think of it because at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself. Exactly. I love it. I mean, I think people, especially with this podcast, business, finance, and career, they live their lives with everyone else's expectations. No, don't take shots.

They get stuck down the path. And I think that's a good piece of advice. No, no, no. Don't what people are going to work. What is this one going to say, are they paying your bills? Are they going to be there if you fall on your face? Are they going to come pick you up? No, they're not.

You got to live with that. So don't do it based on what somebody else is thinking. When I got divorced, I stayed very close with my ex-husband and I raised my kids as a family. and everybody had a lot to say about it. I was very young. And I didn't listen to them. They were like, oh, your kids don't know what they don't have a schedule or you're sending mixed messages.

But in my gut, I felt I was doing the right thing. So at the end of the day, it turns out I did do the right thing. But a lot of people said, oh, you have no pride. You're nice to your ex. You have no pride. It wasn't. No, they were so wrong. But I didn't really care what they had to say.

But we're all taught that in kindergarten. like sticks and souls will break your words right we're up but no one actually executes on it right like I feel like everyone says it but no one does it so for someone that's listening to this that's like I'm influenced by it when my friends tell me not to talk to them I do it even though I want it what's your advice how do you not listen to the noise it's so much easier said than done it's so it gets easier like anything else do it enough times and it gets easier is like do you like therapy is it your therapist I don't know I don't know you're just like in your instincts you're like, fuck everyone, I'm going to do it my way.

Fuck you. Yeah. Like, do it your way because, and the people that won't talk to you after that will be jealous that they didn't do what you did. Yeah. There's a lot of jealousy in this world and a lot of people will resent you for not listening to them. Yeah.

And they'll, like, then they'll resent you for doing something they didn't have the balls to do. Yeah. So just go what you're got. You might make a mistake. Like, you might, but that's on you. You can't blame that on anybody else. Yep. We were just talking about this weekend. There was a bunch of people around a table that have had a lot of success. And I asked them if you could come back. Everything is the same. There's not, there's only one thing you could change about yourself. Just one thing. That's realistic. What would it be? What's the one thing you would change about yourself? Myself. In my life, I would change my, the lack of confidence I had because I thought I was stupid. The things that I didn't do. I would change that. Like my lack of self-worth in my life, that I still.

struggle with today. Yeah, it's interesting. Because even pursuing the cop direction, right? That was as a result of thinking you couldn't go to school. A hundred percent. The way people, they limited you based on your belief of just not having education of something dyslexia, which is prevalent everywhere. And there's so many ways to work around it. Right. So, yeah, I think that's such a good point. Yeah. I like it. All right. Well, we got to wrap. It's got to be your trading secret. So it's a financial, personal, or professional trading secret you've learned in your course, life. No one can, you know, not a professor can replicate it or a TikTok or can give a tutorial on it, only given the things you've experienced your personal trading secret. What's one?

Hold on. What do you think my trading secret would be now that you've gotten to know me? I think you're trading secret. There's something special about the way that you don't care what other people think and you're not peer pressured into doing things that other people want you to even if your ego tells you to. Like I think like so many people, I think ego is most people's demise. Yeah, yes. Ego is the detriment, and it feels like you don't ever let your ego lead. And your ego within your ex, your ego could easily lead, but it's like your logic leads

and your intuition leads. And you're like, no, you know what? Yeah, he's an ex-husband. Yeah, there's probably issues that the world doesn't know about, but he's still a father, right? And it's still important that he's involved. So it's like you think at a, you're thinking and seeing a larger picture than most people can operate on you. Well, I want people to know that don't ever make a decision while you're emotional. Yeah. Emotions do not travel in rational channels. Yeah. So I went to therapy only once when I was

getting divorced and I'm like, I don't know what to do. I don't know a divorced person in my life. Like family I don't come from. And she said to me, she said, just, just remember emotions don't travel in rational channels. So when everybody around me is screaming, I never jump over everybody to try to prove my point because now everyone's yelling. So I wait for everyone to calm down and then I like talk. But I think the biggest mistakes I've made in life were during my most vulnerable times. Don't make any decisions during then. I like it. I mean, I think that's a good trading secret. When you're emotional, get regulated and then get involved. Yeah. Don't jump right in. I don't jump right into anything. All right. You already said you don't know. I got to ask one more

time. Money Mafia has asked me 1,500 times. Last question. Real. Housewives, New Jersey, we're going to see it again. The last question. I'm putting it out into the universe. Yes. Yes. Yes. There we go. Positive manifest. You will see us again. We'll be back stronger than ever. And just wait. Just wait. You'll first be on traders, maybe 2025 Real Housewives of New Jersey, more to come. But Dolores, you are a fan favorite Miss Congeniality. Thank you so much for being on this episode, Trache Secrets. Thank you for having me. Ding, ding! Ding! We are closing in the to the Dolores episode. Now, David, I'm sure you're heard it here on the episode. But I was reading even more articles. And Real Housewives of New Jersey's ratings dropped to lowest ratings

in shows history. And I found another quote from Andy Cohen, David. And what he said was, the problem is there's kind of no moving forward. They are all in their own box. There needs to be forward momentum for these shows to be able to regenerate. Looks like that might not be the case. but we heard Dolores think otherwise, and we also heard a lot about just her disposition on life and things she's battled, even talking about her kids, I mean, A to Z from Real Housewives of New Jersey,

from the ratings to what's next to her life. David Ardoin, Curious Canadian, you're with me. What are you thinking? Well, I'm shocked by this news of them not getting renewed for another season because when I think of Housewives, I think of New Jersey. lived in New Jersey. So I see the Jersey housewives so in the forefront of my brain. And I don't follow the housewives that much. So I don't really pay attention to which seasons and which

cities are thriving and not. I know we've had a bunch of different housewives on. What I do know is Dolores has a great reputation is what I'm starting to gather. My wife Ashley, as soon as he heard her voice, she's like, oh, I love her. So she is very well respected. But I am a little surprised that they're not getting renewed. And from a little bit of research that I think you've done, I'm going to sit here and take the opposite side. I don't think they're getting renewed. What do you think? I'm going to agree with you. I don't think there's a renewal or if there is a renewal. I think there is a complete swipe and wipe of all the cast members. And maybe they'll pick one or two

to stick around like a Dolores. But if I had to put my money on it, I'm saying this is the end. But we'll see. The one thing I've learned, here's the one thing I've learned, David, over all these years paying attention to the news the media to people's opinion whether it's sports whether it's politics whether it's literally anything it always feels like what everyone says is going to happen a big change comes and the opposite happens like it just always feels like that it always feels like there's a huge favorite in a sports game and they're going to lose or you know like this is going to happen and then it changes or even look like even in politics right it was i don't know three three months ago the whole world the election's over well now if you look at vagus odds it's a coin flip according just to

Vegas odds like if these are just two small examples but it always feels like when people say like something's definite in the media all of a sudden something happens and the opposite occurs and so you know what maybe it's literally just a PR stunt to be like it's over it's over it's over and then boom oh my god they're back oh it's amazing so who knows anymore i do like that and you know what i love about sports is there's always get to find out what happens you can debate who's going to win the big game but then they play the super bowl you find out what happens reality tv we're going to find out what happens is it going to get renewed is it not we can debate it all day um but i do think that if new jersey does get renewed like you said dolores will be on it now i thought

delores was great i thought the one thing that she said that i don't believe to be true for a fact is that she's never been drunk. She says that the chemical imbalances in her body don't let it happen, which Dolores send that, send that my way, because I just don't believe it. I just don't believe it. Do you think that's possible, Jay? She's never been drunk before.

She says she can drink her husband under the water, like under the table? I mean, if someone tells me they've never drank, I would be like, right? Then you haven't been drunk. But to say you've drank and never be drunk before, and then say you're like this an nominon of a person, I'm like, I'm like, I kind of need. to see it. I need to see it to believe it. I need to see it. Take her to a little martini bar for a, you know, catch up after this and just study it. Just really like see what

happens. Put her through a sobriety test and then you can just, you can claim to fame. First person to get Dolores try. I love that. We're going to have to put her to the ring and we're taking it off for a drink. We're going to test and try this. David, what else as far as Dolores? I mean, she just brought up a lot. What else is top of mind? So one thing that's really top of mind And it has nothing to do with housewives with everything to do with life. And she brought it up and it kind of hit me and kind of was a reoccurring theme in the episode was she talked about her, I don't want to say battle, but her condition with dyslexia, how she really realized it when she was 39 years old and how really she just thought

she was stupid in high school back in 1988. Why I want to bring it up is do you know anybody with dyslexia and do you know the struggles that they've had and I just feel like it's one of those like hidden silent um conditions that isn't talked about you can't see it on someone but would be impossible to know how hard they're struggling with something like that yeah I know you know what's here's here's what's interesting I think what even when you go in this conversation go deeper like what are things that happen in your childhood that can impact also your confidence in life that allow you to then make those decisions. And dyslexia going undiagnosed or not knowing about it is so tried and

true to be one of those things. And I think what she said makes so much sense. So I looked up some statistics regarding dyslexia because I'm like, I don't want to, you know, I definitely, I don't know, I could think of a few people I know that have had it, but I wanted to really look at the numbers. They say 15% of people in the United States, David, have dyslexia. So this equates over 30 million adults in the United States, about 6 million in the United Kingdom and 3 million in Canada. So what they're saying actually in this article, I correct that is approximately 15% of all people in the world have dyslexia. Dyslexia occurs in people of all backgrounds. Dyslexia is found in speakers of every language and country, but rates vary.

Men and women are equally likely to have dyslexia. Of those places in special education for learning disability, about 80% have. have dyslexia and somewhere between 25 to 40 percent of children with dyslexia also have ADHD. And conversely, 25 percent of children with ADHD also have dyslexia. The last thing I'll say about this, David, I can't get to you is there's myth busters. So on this article, they're saying dyslexia is many things, but it is not a gift. It is not contagious. It's not being confused. It's not about getting letters or numbers mixed up or out of order, being lazy, stupid, or unmotivated, caused by bad parenting, found in only in children,

children, some people grow out of it, found in English readers and speakers only. So those are things that are absolutely myth busters. These things are strange but true. The inability to tie shoe laces, difficulty reading a clock with hands and early childhood ear infections are reliable predictors of dyslexia. People with dyslexia have terrible trouble rhyming and therefore very few turn careers into hip hop. That's interesting. Dislexia is mainly an auditory processing problem but has visual elements. Adult onset of dyslexia is possible after stroke or because of Alzheimer's disease. At 80 years old, an 80 year old reading system is still among the best and the best way for those with dyslexia to read maybe with their

ears, which is interesting. The last thing, and I'm turning to you, David, there's a ton of famous people I googled this, famous people with dyslexia. You got people like Whoopi Goldberg, Richard Branson, Tom Cruise, Cher, Albert Anzang, Muhammad Ali, Stephen Spielberg, Jay Leno, Robin Williams, Anderson Cooper. So, you know, it's interesting to see some people of all different industry, success, and celebrity fame that have struggled with dyslexia. It would be interesting to hear more about more from those people. But yeah, that's just a long answer to a short question. Well, you see Howie Mandel that we had on deal with his OCD and then you list all those names. I mean, hell, if all those people are dyslexic and they all work in, most of them work in an industry where there's a lot of processing, a lot of words, a lot of things, there has to be some element of like, okay, if I know that I'm dyslexic and the world doesn't know, I can't tell everyone in the world that I'm dyslexic, so how I'm going to make up for that.

And all those people who are so uber successful that you just named, they found that, right? They found, okay, if I'm not going to be great at this, let me make sure that my work ethic or my relationship building or my networking or my personal. presence or my kindness or my, you know, my creative side, my imagination, that's going to be the forefront because I'm never going to be able to really defeat this other, this thing holding me back. So I thought that that was really interesting. And I want to kick it to you for a question because you asked her, what is something that she would go back and change about her life? And she said, I wouldn't have felt so stupid. I wouldn't have let myself feel so stupid when I was a younger teenager. And I would have had more self-confidence. I wanted to kick that to you. Is there something

when you think about all of these things that we're talking about the episode or maybe your life in general, what is something that you would go back in your life and change? Yeah, I mean, I'm going to answer that question, but I was also, as you're talking about this, I pulled up a quote from Sharon, it's interesting. I couldn't read quickly enough to get all my homework done. And for me, math is like trying to understand Sanskrit.

So, like, what was interesting about this is, I think so many people, like you said, David, they found a way to cope into something else where in school they didn't perform well, but they found something they did. and they achieved that outlying success. That was a really brilliant comment you made there, and that's so interesting to kind of like go back into that

and analyze that further. But it's just so wild how our childhood has so much of an impact on who we are and what we do and how we cope and career directions we choose. It's so fascinating. I think one thing I would change, two things that change. I wish, these are small things, but I wish I went back in time and learned like Spanish or French.

I wish I was bilingual. I feel like the older you get, it's just so hard to try and learn it. And the other thing I really wish is that I was more involved with music. I don't know. Like, I just think the idea of being involved with, like, playing the guitar or learning how to, like, sing, like, actually professionally or learning the piano. Some of these skill sets that if you don't learn in early age, you could, of course, still do it.

But it is, I think about this all the time. Like, when you're an adult, right, I can think of people I know that want to start playing hockey. Okay, you can relate to this. And those people are just like, oh, it'd be cool to play hockey. Well, it will take them 20 years because they're an adult and they have so much time to be able to have the skill set that you and I would have if we just put skates on and go out there tonight, right? And vice versa. If I wanted to pick up something like, I don't know, like get serious about jujitsu or get serious about competitive swimming. Okay, I'm making things up. And I'm competing or going to play against someone who's been doing it their whole life. It'll take me

until 45 to even get close to where they are. And it really is interesting that our childhood, the activities we decide to pursue the things that we do, the skills that we learn early, it really does dictate like almost every area of our life, even how we choose to spend the couple hours at night that we have when we go into like rec leagues or play sports or pursue activities, you know? 100%. I mean, I deal with it all the time. The learning capacity when you're at that formative age of your brain is amplified times a million. I mean, a five-year-old has a better chance of learning a language in a year than you do at 35 years old. Like, that's just the facts of it all, right? It's just crazy to think about. You mentioned a couple

things that you would maybe want to try. But what about, is there anything that you grew up with that you felt held you back that you would change? I'll go. I'll let you think about it. Okay. Okay. The one thing that I wish I would change about my life growing up was I was, I was, so shy. I was so shy, not just meeting people, but I was terrified and I still am to a point I've gone a lot better, but doing things for the first time. I was terrified that I wouldn't know how to do them.

I didn't take public transit until I was like 25 years old because I didn't know how to get on a public bus. I didn't know where the money goes. I didn't know how the seating works. I didn't know how to get off. So I just didn't do it, right? I this is and this is like how shy I was I was so shy to go to the bathroom in elementary school so I didn't go because I didn't go to the bathroom in elementary school and so I didn't go in

high school I didn't go I don't go to bathrooms on planes I don't go to bathrooms on buses on the road trip I have probably the biggest bladder in the history of the world because I've developed this from this but I've always been so nervous and scared and shy to try things for the first time It could be the most basic task. Once I do them once, I can do them for the rest of my life. But I get so scared of doing things for the first time. It doesn't matter how basic it is. That's my thing.

Does that still live in you or no? A little bit. Yeah, a little bit. It's not as bad. But like if there's something that I haven't done before, I will get really scared that I'm going to screw it up or don't know how to do it. Or people are going to look at me and laugh because I don't know how to, you know, whatever it may be. And it's not like skydiving.

Yeah, I'm scared. to skydiving and I have never done it but I'm talking about like basic tasks like the first time you get to go through an airport like I'm going to go to the wrong gate I'm going to go in a part I can't go to I'm not going to be allowed back in like where's my where's my ticket like okay I know how to do that and know that process now I can do that for the rest of my life I interesting that's an interesting one mine kind of connects to that given that example I think growing up I would only gravitate towards the things I was good at and then just get really good at those even if I didn't love them.

Yeah. And if things like I naturally, like for the first or second time tried and I wasn't like what like so good at it, I would never do it again. I'm like that too. So as a kid, I didn't try enough. Like I've never like I don't know like I've never played chess when I was a kid. I never played tennis. Still to this day, I've literally never played in a basketball game. I don't think I've ever played in a baseball game. I've been offered to play like these celebrity baseball games and stuff. And I'm like, no, baseball is not my thing. I don't play it. So, like, I do think that's one of the things that, like, totally deters me because, like, how can you continue to broaden yourself? Also, how do you learn if you're only setting yourself up to be successful at things?

So I think that, like, I wish as a kid, like, I went into the school musical that I tried different random fucking clubs, that I tried different sports and just gave it to go, even if I wasn't the best. But I was always like, I'm only going to do what I'm really good at. And then you see how it translates in your adult life? It's like, okay, because I didn't want to try it when I was 13 or I was nervous or a shy. are scared like now I can't even now I have insecurities to do it in my adult life and you see we all have friends are like how are you good at everything

how do you know all these things or how it works or you're so well traveled or you're so versatile or like wait you have a you know a second language wait you play in these leagues you do this thing like why are you so annoyingly good at these little minuscule sports or

games that no one should be this good at and those are the people who probably just didn't give a fuck when they're younger which is a skill that you learn and now that I have a son it's like hey I got to instill that in Carter yeah exactly

because I think it actually if you peel the onion back and you go to the root of it it probably is the overall theme of I care too much about what people think yes like if I didn't give a fuck what people thinks

who cares if I was the worst player on the team correct who cares if I sucked that chess who cares if I was terrible at student council yeah who cares if I got off about what people thought yeah yeah yeah

yeah who cares if you got or yeah exactly yeah no interesting well we should be at this week let's be aware of that you know i know we um sometimes say we're going to do like different themes and stuff but let's let's actually do this one we're going to do this okay money mafia we're going to write down five times this week and we didn't do something because we were afraid of or like truly we're going to be honest with herself we're going to do something

and we didn't do it or we're hesitant to do it because we're worried about what people thought yeah we're going to come to the next recap we're going to fucking talk about it we're going to own it good i bet you it's going to be really dumb shit yeah oh yeah big time love it all right five each All right, I'm going to end this back to our core here. One thing that she said was about money. We're going to end it with money, finances. She said the biggest money lesson that she can give people when you asked her from her experiences, don't trust anyone with your money.

Now, you agreed with it, which I was surprised by, because we talked about accountants and financial advisors and people come on here looking for advice, getting into the stock market, et cetera. Take us away with this. Do you stand by that? Do you totally agree that you should not? trust anybody with your money yes or no ah it's this could be a whole podcast um i think the biggest thing i meant with this is you have to understand where your money is and have full

visibility into it you mentioned because if you have right like with ubs i know my money's at ubs and every single day i can log in i can see exactly where it is i know that they have certain fiduciary standards internally externally like i know there's things in place that will secure so there's so much i can do and i have visibility and i have accessibility to it and i think that's really important but and i think the biggest thing like especially what she's referring to is with the jew dices or with you know even the savannah christleys of the world like if you are i don't know you just got to know where every penny's going you've got to understand what you're signing off on and you just got to have visibility to it but at some point i do believe you have to allow others

in at some capacity so that you can outsource so you can have checks and balances so your accountant can do your taxes so your advisors can help you out so i don't mean that entirely as a statement i mean see where the dollars are going and make sure you have the right checks and balances in place for safety and security love it don't blindly trust people with your money trust the people that you have earned your trust and will give you visibility and access do all the things that you need to do jay this I'm excited to watch her on Traders. I mean, love that show. The Housewives always have a big presence on that show. And, you know, there's so many things from this episode. We didn't get to talk about because we're running at a time. I thought there was this episode alone. One of the biggest strengths, Jay, was advice on how to be a good friend and what friendships are. And, you know, she says that she's Switzerland and the show. But, you know, a couple quotes from her dad. I didn't teach, I didn't teach you to be a friend when it's easy to be a friend. Yeah, I thought a lot of that stuff was really, really interesting. So overall, I think a really good episode, and I think a lot of our main listener base

will really, really enjoy hearing her and it sounds like her first podcast in the year. So well done. So one little tip before we wrap up this episode is Penster P-E-N-T-E-S-T-E-R.com, cybersecurity firm that is now offering free access to see if your information was hacked. You just put in your first name, last name, state,

and the birth year, and you'll be able to see if any of your information was hacked. This is not an ad. This is strictly from just reading a time, and New York Times article. But David, thank you for joining me on this recap of Dolores. A lot of action about life, childhood, and even real housewives of New Jersey. It's fun to have people on like Dolores,

where you can take the conversation from ratings of a TV show to the depths of what happens when we're children and how it impacts our career direction. David, anything before a wrap? Nope, I am good to go. Thank you for tuning into another episode of Trade Secrets One. Hopefully you couldn't afford to miss. Paying on me, making that money and money, living that dream.

Making that money, money, money, pay on me. Making that money, money, living that dream.