Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Crazy Things You Didn't Know With Cory And Jacob

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Park After Dark is about to get a whole lot dumber - Cory and Jacob are in the trailer! Find out which nut has nipples, Cory's favourite video games, and why Jacob is working nine jobs. Plus: Meet the new ambassador of Iceland... Ricky!

New episodes every week on Trailer Pack Boys+. Subscribe now. How much of it did you eat, Cory? I mean, I didn't eat any. I ate mayonnaise, but I don't think it was sticky. But it wasn't that, I don't think. It was full. It was full. It was full. Just wondering where it went. I saw you putting this on the sandwich.

Did you think that was mayonnaise? It does look like one of those squeeze bottles. Give him that. Jacob, did he eat the fucking glue or what? He says it's edible, doesn't it? No. Did you eat the glue? It's Elmer's fucking glue, boys.

Can I see it? I swear it says it's edible. But even if he did eat it, it would make him sick, right? It's fucking glue, I don't know. Let's get, you guys wanna get this going or what? Yes. All right, what's going on everybody?

Welcome to Perk After Derrick. I'm the host for today, Julian, with a few of my friends and Jacob and Cory. They're with us as well. Wow, they don't fall into the friends category? They're not close friends. You said a few of your friends. We're more like family, dude.

It's very confusing. Okay, well I said a few, I was thinking the three of us. I'm kind of a friend to myself, I guess. Stop getting me on technicality shit. I was just confused, man. What's that mean, a friend to yourself? I could think of a thing or two. I was going to sit here and drink.

Okay, well you said you were getting her going. You're the host. Alright, this is my co-host, the beautiful Bubbles. Take it away, Bubs. There's, that's great. That's one of the shittiest shirts I've seen you wear in a while. That is a shitty looking shirt. You know what? It looks fake.

Don't worry about it. What did you get that off? Emu? Who? What? Emu? Isn't that the shop? Emu, Emu! He's the bird on the commercial. Insurance commercial, isn't it? Yeah, he's the even shopping site

You know him Cory the email. No email. No No, do you like you mean team you team you to team you team who isn't it's team Oh, okay Cheap shit on there. Yeah like that. Is that where you got that? Yes. No,, it's not. It was a pajama shirt. It's pajamas. It's not even real embroidery. It's pajamas, and you don't want real embroidery on your pajamas, because it can chafe. Those are pajamas? What the fuck are you doing wearing pajamas? I like pajamas now. What does it chafe? You mean when you do things to yourself?

No, if you're rolling around at night, and you got this you'll get nipple burn It's not over your nipples. So really well you can it can get twisted pretty easy when you're sleeping and then next thing You know nipple burn, okay Do you ever have nipple burn Cory? Well, my yeah, I got I did. Yeah, I did something I had some things with my nipples before Yeah, I got I did yeah, I did something I had some things with my nipples before Okay, how do you do with your nipple Cory? I've had an upper burn fucking socks Don't they speak in a nipple burns don't they put like band-aids or something marathon runners, is that a thing? I

Don't know. That's what I did. It was wonderful when For what you for being in a marathon. When the fuck were you in a marathon? No, no, for the Nipple Burn. I haven't been in a marathon in years. I've done lots of marathons. I did one the other day. You should watch all the Star Wars movies, dude.

It was dope, it was the Star Wars marathon. We went like, all night, watched everything, like the shows, the cartoon shit, everything. And that gave you Nippleburn? No. Cory, I'm talking about the fucking marathons where you run, like, you know, 20K or whatever it is. How do you know about marathon runner Nippleburn?

You dating the guy? No, what do you mean dating the fucking guy? I don't know, just asking questions. I was watching it on TV. And you looked at the nipples and you thought, I saw a band-aid. And they talked about Nipple burn on the TV. Some people like to see a nice nipple every now and then.

There was a marathon runners. There was some- What was his name? I'm not talking about the dudes. And what happened, there was nothing because they had the band-aids over it. Did you know almonds have nipples? I did not.

Yeah, man, I just found that out. Because it's like, you know, I went in the thing, and it was like, you can get almond milk. And apparently, they have lands and shit, and they milk almonds. I never thought about that. Yeah, dude, I was like, this is crazy. I had no idea nuts had nipples.

That's weird. Bob, do you want to tell him or just let him go? No, it's fine if he thinks almonds have nipples. What else has nipples he didn't know about, I wonder? Well, cashews. Do you think, OK, back to the almonds with nipples, do you think people have to manually get the milk out of them or what?

I think they're hooked up to machines. I don't know. They probably have machines that pull them out and shit. Maybe he meant Greg Almond from the Almond Brothers. Maybe he got milked. You're not helping him moaning, Bubs, you know that. Helping who? It's definitely confusing.

Are we on edibles right now? I think so. Did you put something in that shit that we were eating earlier? I didn't. I took edibles, but I didn't put anything in your food. I'm not trying to dose you. Alright, I got some fucked up stories here, boys. Good. It's about time.

Hopefully they're not laying in the spot. You know what, teenagers are fucked these days. Teenage girl almost dies after eating only veggies and laxatives for two weeks to lose weight That's not shouldn't almost kill you it almost killed her man Veggies and laxatives. Yeah, they died of starvation, but it shouldn't Yeah, what would she almost die of she was getting her veggies All right Did she shit herself her fucking pulse went down or like her blood pressure just dropped? probably cuz she was so fucking dehydrated cuz she was

Pissing out of her ass for two weeks. I and then the vegetables, I don't know you you wouldn't think she would die, but it was a there was like The potassium had dropped to dangerous levels bubs potassium Yeah, let's not in your bananas. Yeah. She was not eating her bananas. She wasn't drinking water. She didn't eat broccoli. Does broccoli have potassium?

Broccoli has potassium, dude. I thought it did. Yeah. You also think fucking almonds have nipples, so I don't know if I believe that. I gotta look into this a little bit deeper. Oh yeah, your stories are always missing information. Because I don't really give a fuck, really. Like seriously, she's alive, that's all that matters, but.

What do you give a fuck about, Julian? Let's talk about that. What do you give a fuck about, other than muscle milk? Money. Protein. Making a living. Protein bars, muscle milk, and money. She had, okay, she was in the brink of cardiac arrest.

All right, she was, she almost died for 12 hours there. She was fucked. It was a miracle that she recovered. Maybe it was just a coincidence. And she's not trying to lose any weight anymore, I don't think. That's probably a good thing. Apparently your body needs salt.

Maybe she should just exercise. Everybody needs salt, right, Jacob? Right, Jacob. Well, that's what I was told. I passed out and almost died a couple times. Yeah, if you don't drink enough water with electrolytes, and that's salt. Look at the fucking big brain.

You can have a heart attack. Jacob all of a sudden, go on. I put big sea salt right into my, all my drinking. Doesn't it taste salty? Nope. Really? Not if you know what you're doing.

All you gotta do is just go swimming in the ocean and drink it. You'll be all right. I would. No man, that's a whole, that's a completely different thing. That's different. That's salt.

Oh, it's sea salt. It's got like fucking microorganisms and shit in it, doesn't it? Yeah, I think it's other bacteria. Salty. Fucking ant dormant dolphins and platypus and shit Screeding in it don't want you to drink that screeching excreting like shit and then pissing in the water Lobster turds. All right. I don't know you guys believe this

I read something the other day that they say within your lifetime You would have bumped into 13 people that are murderers in your life That's it more than that. I think it's a lot more. That's what I was that are murderers in your life. Right here. That's it? More than that. I think it's a lot more. That's what I was saying. 13 murderers? I don't think you know many. You bumped into one right here because I

murdered the dance floor. So it makes me a murderer. All right, that was a good one. Thank you. I'm going to start our podcast. Any of you guys? I've met a few murderers in jail, for sure. No, but I've met some outside of jail. There's a manslaughter. It's considered murder

Why do you ask right here? Oh cuz it's a lot more than ten if that's the case I Met that one dude killed people by accident. Remember that biker dude. Yeah, we had the little patch And we're like what the fight was a 100? He's like, 100 people down. We're like, okay. Remember that dude? A hundred people he killed. He killed a hundred people. He was from fucking Greece.

And he was living in Montreal. I don't remember him. He wanted to hang out. What was that? If you met someone who's killed a hundred people, that would bring up the average for a bunch of others. Then there was the other guy that went to jail for killing some guy that was fucking around with his sister

and he strangled her. Remember that dude? Yeah, I remember the guy with the skull ring that had the pink and blue stones in it. I guess one stone per kill. See, we've met a lot. I think it was way more. Four or five tank stones.

But that's, they're saying 13 a year or 13. And within your life. I think we've met like 13. I hope I haven't met 13 fucking murderers. Didn't Donnie fucking run a school bus off the road and killed a bunch of kids? Donnie? No, Ricky.

No, he was bragging that he did it in Grand Theft Auto. He didn't do it in real life. That's right, that's why I was laughing But he was bragging about it. I thought he was serious When is the new Grand Theft Auto coming out Cory never it's not never It's never coming out. Why do you say that? Because he keeps saying it's coming out. It's never coming out They're like don't worry. It's coming out and then five years later still want coming out. I'll probably be gone Well, it's been a while hasn then five years later, it's still not coming out. I'll probably be gone.

That's been a while, hasn't it? When was the last one? The last one was a long time ago, GTA 5. 2004? Well, I don't think it was that long ago, was it? I don't know, it's been a while. What's your favorite video game these days, Cory? Well, I really love this game where there's a cat running around.

It's a stray cat. Stray? I've heard of it. I love that game. And I love another game, Elden Ring. Yes. I played like a thousand hours, dude, over that. Really?

Elder Scrolls. Isn't that elder ring no elder ring Elder scrolls a different game. They play like a thousand hours in That's a lot of hours. Yeah, man got working do I already murdered that game. Yeah, let's talk about how many jobs Jacob has right now How many jobs you got on the go? I my god. I gotta be at work in about half an hour on that note. But yeah, eight or nine? Eight or nine. That's a lot, man. Depending if the video stories fired me or not.

Wouldn't it be easier just to get one full-time job? Have you tried finding a full-time job these days? No. Alright, how many jobs have you had in your lifetime? Because you keep flipping jobs like crazy, man. Yeah, I've stopped. I can't remember. You pretty much worked at every place there is. Jacob's had more jobs than I've met murderers.

Yeah, at least 13. At least 13. 13 this year. Yeah, man. Yeah, per year. Jesus Christ. 13 jobs a year, one a month. And do you normally just get fired or why the turnover?

Ricky, there's been several that you caused. Me? Yes. 13 jobs a year, one a month. And do you normally just get fired, or like why the turnover? Ricky, there's been several that you caused. Me? Yes. I don't remember that. How many jobs have you lost cause of him, do you think? I mean, I get fired for most of them, but yeah, it's only my fault for maybe half of the times, and I mean, Ricky's fault for the other half

of the other half I Don't know that's true could be All right, check this one up boys this is like something that when I read this thing I was thinking about Ricky you could fucking pull this off man If anybody could do it would be you man arrested for impersonating ambassador of made-up nations So he's like saying, you know where I'm from. I'm the ambassador of made-up nations. Oh, I like that. So he's like saying, you know where I'm from? I'm the ambassador of West Artica. And there's another one's suborga was another place he was saying he was suborga. Yeah. Where's that? It's no site. It's made up. I'm like, what's his angle? His angle? He got free shit, man. He was going all these

fucking parties, getting drunk, getting banged drunk. I'm gonna be a consulate. Diplomatic immunity. What country? I can't believe you if that even came out of your mouth, man. Iceland. Anything to do with the law, I know. Iceland's a real country already. It is, but would they really call him and say, is this guy really your guy?

Probably. They're probably gonna double check that. Maybe if you spoke some fucked up language. Maybe I can convince Iceland to put up a building over here. Either. Why don't I just make up a country? Make up a country name right now. Paloodoodoo. That sounds legit. Paloodoodoo. They speak Paloodoodoo to you. I don't know what you're doing. Like you can't come in here, you need some credentials or something. Me?

No, we're saying that to you. You'd fucking, you'd twist them up like a pretzel man. I could get in anywhere with a couple laminated badges. Press pass, consulate badge. Fucked up language. Why would you have a presspass and a consulate badge? Double-dipping. Double-dipping.

Double-dipping. See? Backup. I am the Consul General, but I'm also in press. But in case that's not cool enough, I also run CNN. He runs CNN. He runs it. You look like you run a global news.

Fuck, I'd probably have to get a goddamn suit and look like a suit deck though, wouldn't I? That would suck. Probably. No, man, you could pull what you have off right there. See, that's the only dress. We used to get in pretty much anywhere we wanted us with a safety vest on.

Fuck, people are dumb. That's true. Safety vest and a walkie, and you're golden. Heard that. You're a god. A ladder. But what I'm telling you, you just carry a ladder, you can walk right into any concert.

Say you're going in to change the light bulbs. I remember we walked right out of the That's a good fucking idea. We walked right out of the crappy tire with a canoe. Nobody fucking batted an eye. Yeah, I remember that. And they did bat an eye, because you got caught. Yeah. Didn't you walk out of that, the university or that fucking sofa? That was a good one.

No one said a thing. No. Safety vest. Perfect man. All right, this is a fucked up story? Japan recently recalls 16,000 toy pistols Japan recently recalls 16,000 toy pistols capable of firing real ammunition. You know those claw machines?

You pick things up, kids do it. They had these guns in there anyway. You could actually put bullets in the fucking thing and it would work. Oh that's nice. What the fuck were they made of? Plastic? Yeah, they were like a heavy-duty plastic It wouldn't just explode in your hand. No, man They had a firing pin. Yeah, man had everything

Why would because they had these little blank bullets that you put in just toy ones But they said there was the same size of an actual bullet and if you could actually use the fucking dumbass to figure that I'm fucking idiot. They had to recall them all. I wish we had some. They actually look pretty cool. We don't need guns. No, actually not. That's real.

Yeah, they sneak that right by. Regular cops would think that was fake for sure. Let me look at it. Take that thing. It's got like a... Florescent green and purple. That looks like a flare gun. It still works, man.

I don't like that. I don't think any kids shot themselves with it but. Real gimmick mini revolver. They might now that you told them how to do it. Yeah way to go Julian. It's just like those wasn't there a video camera you could actually use you could see like naked? Yeah. The Sony one when they first came out the infrared or not the infrared the night vision you can see right through clothing you couldn't see right through it I thought that's what I heard and they recalled them right away but there's still some of them out there didn't you have one of those core well I I had like yeah I had the x-ray glasses you know I got those corns

locked those x-ray glasses out of the comic book and they worked Well, they kind of yeah kind of They didn't work man, there's no such thing well every time every time I looked at anyone there was a skeleton I Liked it You're just gonna let him fucking talk If he saw a skeleton How am I gonna tell him he didn't do it? There's just no way he saw a fucking skeleton if your brain believes it then you see it

Well, you're thinking of this whole simulation. She could have saw skeletons Scally in our suggestions. Do you are you believing in this simulation shit, too? I Think if you believe it enough you could see it. There you go, see that? Do you know how much I've been believing I was going to fucking retire like anytime now? It's been years. I don't know. Yeah, but you're not really believing it. What if I believe that there's a kilogram of hashish in my trunk?

Yeah, explain that in the simulation. I don't know that yet. If I knew that, would I be sitting here talking to you deck weeds? Yeah, you know what I mean. I hope so. Sorry, dude, are you saying like we're in a simulation? That's what he fucking believes.

That's what he's saying, man. Yes. I do believe that because Neil deGrasse Tyson explained it. All right, one of the... I've already explained it. We're definitely... Cory's just sitting here fucking glazed over eyes and not knowing what the fuck you're talking about.

You might make his brain explode if you get into that shit. We're in a simulation, Cory. We're in a video game, basically. Oh, fuck. Yup. Like, what's your game? So I'm playing myself, and can I get the game? That would be dope, because if I could get the game,

and then I could play myself in the game? You are the game. That's the thing. We're all the game. I'm just trying. Not a game. I'm trying not to think about it. Wow, it We're all the game. It's not a game. I'm trying not to think about it. It's kind of like a game. I'm treating it like a game. I saw Ricky's head start to pulse the other day when he was thinking about it.

No, it was doing that. Ricky's whole head was pulsing. You were a mushroom, so yeah. I was, but... That's when... That same night you said you you saw code on the wall. I Did see code law Cory next time you really baked shoot a green laser against the wall and go out and look into it

You can see behind the wall. You can see all the code going by Shit. Yeah, I mean I see coat like I see code on the wall right now, dude So red where right there? Oh, yeah,, dude. It's a red. Where? It's a hand, right there. Oh yeah. It's a hand, right there. It's a code right there.

Not a code. Code. Code, not a code. If we're in a simulation, is everyone still thinking their own thoughts or is only one person actually thinking thoughts? No, no, everybody's thinking their own thoughts. That's a good question. Yeah, I don't get it.

It's high tech shit, man. It's like, everybody's thinking their own talk about some monster. I'm leaving All right, what do you want to talk about Ricky? I don't know. What do you got? Give me three options Feel how soft the bread Ricky made is It's my bread you I'm getting better at it every day It's very soft, dude. I'm getting better at it every day. It's very soft, Ricky. Yeah, I feel.

That's good, man. Take a bite out of it if you want, Cory. No, I wouldn't do that. What are you doing, Julian? He's zoning out. if you want, Cory. No, I wouldn't do that. What are you doing, Julian? He's zoning out. Zoning out, man. Okay, so... I know you didn't want to talk about it, but...

...'cause, you know, I don't know. I'm not gonna talk about it. No, say it. You got to now. I like talking to Hogan a lot. I thought he was a good dude. And he's gone. and we did mention last time There's none of us like fucking watch the news So we found out won't give right after we finished shooting that he died. That's soft. Cheers to Hulk man. Yeah Okay maniacs

Huck Hogan, I know you're fucking jealous of his skill that yet Skill you always said you could beat fucking Hogan, man. You could. I said I had better moves. I didn't say I could beat him. You didn't, though. He was huge. He was way, way better than you.

Remember when that porn, porno came out with him in it and you watched it like 40 times? You watched it a lot. I didn't watch the porno with Hulk Hogan in it. It was his friend's wife, wasn't it? I don't know, Ricky. I never saw it. He wasn't a great person, I guess, but he was cool.

He was a fucking Hulk, man. Yeah, but I never said I could beat him because he was pretty big, but I just said I had better moves, better combinations. I've always thought he had a really, really nice tan. Super dark. Was it real? Really even. I would assume so.

Was it real or was it cake? I don't know, he lived in Florida, so it could've been real. It was fucking real, man. I saw his house, it was fucking massive. No, what was his house like? It's huge. Insanely huge. Pumped.

Did it have turnbuckles on the corners? Get it? He left a lot of money on the table, didn't he? He had some cash. He had that big fucking beer thing going. I thought he went broke, didn't he? No, man. I thought he made money from that porn.

And he made money from... He didn't make money off the porn. He sued some people. Yeah, he made some money. That's what I mean. He won a lot of money in some lawsuits. make money off the born sued some people. Yeah, I made some money So let me he won a lot of money in some lawsuits. I forget what the fuck they were 17 mil or something a lot of 60 60 Jesus man. All right, that's a how can we do that? I'm retiring all we need someone to fuck us over and we can sue them

How do we make that happen? It's not hard. Was it a sex tape that got leaked? There was. Try to arrange something. Julian? I'm not fucking doing a sex tape. Why not? You know what? You should do a sex tape. Muscle sex.

That's fucked, man. Like a security camera at a jam or something. Yeah. Shooting a calendar. No, man. Julian's Karma Sleutra. What is it? The what?

Isn't that what I forget what it's called? The Karma Sleutra. Karma Sleutra. Karma. Boys, I need a nap. I need a nap. You know what? We gotta end this soon,

because I got lots of shit to do. What do you got to do? I got tons of shit to do today. Name one thing you gotta do. Well, I gotta get the fucking oil changed in the caddy, because it's been like three years. Jesus. I'm just gonna do that done, get that done today.

Who's doing it? I'm going to go to the aristocrat, hang out there because they got good air conditioning. The aristocrat, you're going right down the front row probably. That's why you go there, because of the air conditioning. Fuck yeah, right man. That's the air conditioning in the city.

And that's about it, what are you guys doing? I gotta make some money quickly. And then I might meet you at the aristocrat. I'll meet you there then. So you're going to rob somebody and you're going to the strip club? I don't know if you'd call it robbing. What the fuck is that?

It's a Harley. It's my buddy that killed those guys. No, I think that was Ronnie. Hope he's not here to kill us. Ronnie. You know Ronnie's selling Tupperware now? I didn't even know Tupperware was still a thing. They went out of business.

From his Harley? Yeah, he got it on the back of his Harley. He's got a little trailer with all his Tupperware. It's a good approach, I think. I didn't know Tupperware was still a thing. You can just order shit now on Amazon, can't you? Why would you need to be a Tupperware salesman? Well, he likes to have Tupperware parties.

There's a lot of people that don't have credit cards, man. Or Tupperware. Tupperware. The fuck? OK, so. What? no, I might you know, I might do a podcast too actually and you all right do it Well, I'm not gonna do now you come on my podcast. Maybe what's it gonna be called? I don't know, but it's gonna have politics and stuff on it. You know what? I think it should be called What almonds have nipples?

With Corey and Jake maybe it's it's weird nature You know what I think it should be called? What? Almonds have nipples. That could be. With Cory and Jacob. Maybe it's weird nature. There's like crazy things you didn't know. But you've found that. Crazy things you didn't know with Cory and Jacob. I like that. Give me one.

Besides the almond nipples. You think of one off the top of your head? I didn't know that, so that's a good one. Do you guys really know things that other people don't? That's the question. I didn't know that, so that's a good one. Do you guys really know things that other people don't? That's the question. I didn't know almonds had nipples. Yeah, I just figured it out because of the milk. So, they're mammals too.

Almonds are mammals? Yeah. Oh, fuck boys. I didn't know that. You guys should have a podcast. So they ever hurt? Aw. Jesus Christ. They must.

It's a fucking nut. And they eat meat? Well, apparently they are a heart. That's the thing. It's because they're in the middle of something. Is it the heat or is it like, are people getting fucking way too dumb here? It is hot in here, dude.

It's light to me. It's way too dumb here. It is hot in here, dude. It's light to me. It's getting hot in here. All right, we gotta tell everybody, the camera dicks, they're almost gone. Thank fuck. Oh, thank God. Because they wake us up too early to get shit going. It sucks.

I know. We got like three more days. Why should I have to get up before 10? I thought they were just, they finished last week, didn't they? They're still hanging around, man. They still want to do some shit, but. I'm not doing anything else. I'm done.

I think I might be done, too. I told them on Thursday, I'm done. If we keep doing something with them, we're going to end up in jail. I'm just throwing that out there with you guys. Jesus. If you guys are done, I'm done. All right, you guys want to finish this?

Do you have any final words, Jacob? I'll keep doing stuff with you guys. They keep giving me smokes and chips. That's all I gotta say. Okay. Cory, any last thoughts? Well, the world, if the, your horizon never ends,

if you constantly expand it. Oh my God. I don't know what that means, but I like it, I think. That's like- What did you say? That's- I don't know, I'm trying to be like, you know, uplifting and stuff.

Your horizon never ends, if you're constantly expanding. Nuts! That's pretty deep, man. Thanks, dude. I kind of like the little dolphin milk.