Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 12 - Golfin' With Flames

Episode Date: August 12, 2025

If you go down to the woods today... you'll wind up in con college! Find out how Ricky got f**ked over by fire, Julian's film crew heist, and why Bubs is missing supper in jail. There's also a menagerie of angry grizzlies, arsonist ospreys, and pan-fried sh*t guppies!

New episodes every week on Trailer Park Boys Plus. Subscribe now. So you're bribing the guards with our liquor and our drinks. Bess chips, I mean. Yep. Yeah. And what are you getting from them? Well, you're here right now, aren't you?

So you got me in? You didn't get me in. I can get in anyway. I got you in, man. What are he talking about? Ronnie made a deal with us. And what's wrong when he talking about? He said, ask Ricky about his arse and smuggling stuff.

No idea. You didn't have a can or anything up your arse? Nope. No, number one, bubs, you don't fucking discuss that shit. It just happens. Especially on camera, right? Well, I want to know what you're bribing them for. What do you get out of this people?

Food's been pretty good this week. Really good, actually. How many bags of chips and how many? I got a whole case of these things. And I've got pan-fried Digby Scallops we had for dinner last night. Which I didn't like, but they made me home. So this is what I'm getting at. You're getting Digby Scalops and I'm not...

Fresh. We're eating better than you, Bub, let's just say that. And you're giving away all my chips. They're not all your chips. Well... Have some. You took all... I brought you in all the ones that I got for free, because you said you wanted chips,

and now I find out you're giving them away for Digby Scullops. away for Degby Scalops. These are like fucking golden here, man. You get anything you want for a bag of chips. But I brought them to you because I thought you were craving chips and I was trying to be nice. Now I find out you're getting Degby Scolips. That's what friends are for. Maybe you could save me some Degby Scolips.

You know what? I don't eat them because I don't like scallops. I'll save them for you. Just you have to put them in the fridge for me. All right. Eat them up. Deal. All right.

Speaking of chips, this is a fucked up story that I don't. I know what it is. Eric Estrada? Does that have to do with the 9-volt battery? What the fuck? That is fucked. What? You know when you take the 9-1-1-1-1-8-volt battery?

When we were kids, that was a big thing. I always touched the 9-volt battery. I still do it. I still do it on a constant base. Well, guess what? You don't have to anymore. Why? Because they got a Dorito chip that tastes like the fucking 9-volt battery.

I can't taste like it. This Dutch company? It does. They launched a fucking Dorito chip, and it has that flavor. It's not a, flavor it's a sensation it's a nine-volt battery flavor it's an electrical current going through your well it's got to there is a taste bubs yeah there is a taste it's kind of like a coppery kind of nine-volt battery taste you're gonna try it aren't you it's in the netherlands we need to get a bag

and you need to uh decide if it's oh i'm gonna try it no question well they're not out yet but they're still they're about to release them it's not a taste though it's a you get the electrical current through your saliva i think you get that sensation yeah but i think there is a is a It's kind of like, it might be, I don't know, sensation is awesome taste. But does the chip make your tongue vibrate like electricity? I doubt it. There's no components of a battery in the chip. Just the flavor.

Well, that's good. Flavor, flavor. But I'm interested, man. I want to fucking check it out. Might be good. If we're in any other province, we wouldn't be in jail right now. Yeah, are we gonna talk, are we gonna tell the people why the fuck you're in jail? It's, I don't know.

Back in jail. For how long? Until we can pay the fine, I guess. Don't look at me, because I got all, I spent all my money. How are we supposed to make it? I understand you can't have a fucking fire in the open, well, in the woods or whatever. But in a fucking fire pit with no trees around, why is that a $25,000 fine? That's why you're in jail, because that's not what I have fucking heard.

What did you hear? We had the rap party for the TV show, the TV people had rap party. and you rob them. Well, that's probably closer to the truth. But there was a fire. There may have been some of that, but then we went back and had a fire and apparently we have to pay a $25,000 a fucking fine now.

It's $25,000. Here's what's fucked. I didn't know there was a fucking fire ban on. What I found out after the fact, did you know that it was a fire ban until fucking October? What? This right now?

Yes. Because it's not supposed to rain. I get it. You can't make that announcement. You got to just go day-to-day or week-to-week. I can't say in October if it doesn't rain, Ricky. You can't say that. It makes people like me fucking nuts.

Just say there's no fires this week. Don't say till October. Well, you know what the problem is. Are you that objected to fire? Yes, I fucking love fire. People like fires, man. I like fires. But the problem is, if you don't listen to the fucking radio

and you don't watch the news, how you're supposed to fucking know? Right. Nobody's coming up to me. You're not coming up to us saying no fire boys. And it's not like, oh, fuck, sorry, bud. You didn't know. It's like 25 grand, bud.

Don't give a fuck. You heard it somewhere. Now, guess what? Not even out in the woods. And what are all the liars going to do? We're banned from the fucking woods. What are the liars going to do? What do you mean?

What liars? The ones with their pants on fire. Jesus Christ. You fucking set me up. Liar, liar, pants on fire. That was a good one. Get it? Yeah, I get it.

Fucking nails you. It fucking makes me crazy. Like just thinking, I can't have a fucking fire until October? What happens to- That is not why you're in jail. But I don't- It's gonna be. What is this?

I'm going to jail. You did have some, you came at them with some good fucking comebacks. You're like, I cook on the fucking flames. And they were like, don't give a fuck. What if you do- You could do it on a barbecue, that's not a fire? What if you don't have a fucking barbecue? Your barbecue's the pit. And what about a night?

Zero wind. You fire is in an enclosed fucking pit. It's not like I'm just burning the fucking brush fires. Embers. There's no wind. Embers, Ricky. There's wind. There might not be wind at eye level.

Oner rises. There's wind. It's fucking bullshit. Embers. And then what, then half the province is on fire. People are dying. If I were on a campground right now, I'd be losing my fucking mind. Who wants to go camping in the campfire?

What is campfires, man. You're not allowed to have a fire at the campground? No, man. No fires anywhere. Not even in a fucking chimney. Well, half the fucking country's on fire, isn't it? There's a lot of fires. There's a lot of fires.

I understand it, but you cannot make a fucking announcement saying no fires locked over. You say no fires this week. Fuck I'm mad. You're in jail, Ricky. You can't have a fucking fire anyway. If I don't stay in jail, I'm going to be back in jail for having a fucking fire.

It's ridiculous. I mean, I don't want to start a forest fire. What if you like the forest on fire? I don't. I'm responsible. Never have started a forest fire, never will. You know what? There's some rules like that are for stupid people.

Not everybody stupid. But on ember, it goes over and from dummies. It's hard to, you can't contain it. You don't have a fucking fire in a windstorm. Dummies. You don't light a fire with no fucking enclosure. Dummies. They didn't.

We're not allowed to have fires because of dummies. It's like speed limits, the same thing. Dummies fucked us. It's because of dummies, there's speed limits, man. Come on. That's not dummies. Laws are for dummies. Laws are for dummies.

Jesus, you guys are fucked. What about in BC? Are they going to fucking find this Osprey, 25 grand? He started to fire. What did he do? Drop the fish in the power lines. Fucking caught on fire. Is that what happened?

Burning embers fell down, lit the ground on fire. See, forest fire. How do they know that? They found evidence at the scene of a burnt fish. Detectives. A burnt fish? Yep.

But that doesn't mean... How else would it have happened? Yeah, I guess maybe. It's fucked, but... So does the Osprey get fine? But a person could have came in with a fish and whipped it up there onto the lines. Let's try it.

To blame it on the Osprey. That's a pretty good shot. Why would you frame an Osprey? Well, because you're talking about it and believing it. That Ospreys pissing me off. I'm gonna fucking frame him. No, but if he's like, I'm a fucking arsonist and I want to burn down the forest,

but I want to blame it on somebody. Ooh, I'll blame it on an Osprey. Fuck, it'd be a tough shot. That would be a tough shot. It's a bit of a one in a million. I wonder if the Osprey was just sick of having raw fish. Wanted a little crispy fish. Don't that's...

You think he was trying to cook it, Ricky? That'd be pretty cool if you was. That would be cool. Well, yeah, it would. Maybe he did it once by accident, and he's like, oh, fuck, that fish was better cooked. cooked. So when you robbed the people from the TV show.

Yeah. Did you pull a gun on them? No, we just took all the fucking booze. There's like 450 cans of this stuff, and you stole it. Plus all, most of it. Plus a ton of hard liquor. Fucking bottles, tons of bottles of, like, room. We were in the clear till the vodka.

Someone decided to check with someone else. Well, everybody was getting pissed off because they didn't have anything to drink. We're like, all out of booze, everybody. Motherfuckers. How far into the party till you declared you're out of booze? It's late. 2 o'clock? 2 a.m.? Well, that's not bad.

When the fire department came, the sun was coming up. Yeah. It was a late one. It was a fucking good night. For a Thursday. It was a Thursday night. So the NHL team in Seattle, their mascot, whose name is Bowie, which I didn't know. It's a good name though.

Booy. Yeah. Okay. Boo people, I guess. What was the Kraken? Yeah, that's the name of the team. Oh, the mascot. Oh, fuck.

He was out with one of their forwards doing some fly fish dressed up in his little mascot outfit and a fucking grizzly bear's there in church. No way. Yeah, I was on video. It's pretty fucked up. Really? He's all right.

So is the forward. How did you get eaten by a grizzly bear? What's the mascot costume? He's like this purple furry fuck. Oh, and the bear was like, I don't know what the fuck that is, but I'm taking that cock sucker down. I want to eat that fuck out of that. So, yeah.

Purple cock sucker, I bet she's delicious. What's his, what's his name? Seattle mascot? Bowie. He was probably saying, I bet you he's grape flavored. I fucking love grape. I'm eating the cock sucker. I don't even remember if he's purple, but.

Oh yeah, there he is. Is he purple? Grizzly fucking bear charges him. There's a video. You dumb fuck. Like this, how is he? How stupid does this guy look? Put it up on the screen.

Just a second. We got a commercial. You gotta get by that. How are you gonna get by that? There's no fucking exes anywhere, pubs. Look at that. It's a fucking detergent part. They, why do they make them look so delicious?

They look like a snap. Here we go. Don Hayden of the NHL Seattle Crackin. And the team's mascot, Louie the troll. Like once you see that, it's a ground bear. He is coming out of there. Interrupted by a grizzly bear. Holy fuck.

They were fly fishing in Alaska when the animal ran a... Fuck that. Booie had a little trouble escaping, but luckily the bear turned away. Heaton said it must have been attracted by booey's blue hair. Look at the size of that, cop-sucker. A narrow escape for a troll. Booy. Bowie's lucky.

How were they not more, they don't look very scared. No. I'd be shit in my fucking pants if a grizzly bear was charging it. Oh. You gotta make yourself big, don't you? You gotta put your hands up. Not for a grizzly bear. What about?

They don't give a fuck. Julian, he's fucking 15 feet tall. So what do you do with the grizzly bear if it comes out? If you don't get a bear, they're fucking prey. Okay, you pray. You run, the best thing you can do is run as fast as you can with your back to him and try to climb a tree. They can climb trees, man.

No. Bears can't climb trees. You go up a tree. They can climb fucking trees, buddy. You climb your fucking tree. You run with your back to them and, you know, keep. Keep quiet, run as fast as you can, and then go up a tree. There's any bear experts out here right into the site and fucking set them straight?

Because I don't think you'd run up a fucking tree. I thought bears could climb trees. They totally can. No, I'm just teasing you bear. You don't want to climb a fucking tree, Ricky. You got to play dead or something. You're supposed to play dead, but they still just fucking chew on you in. They start chewing on you?

An 8,000 pound grizzly can't climb a tree. Oh, yes, he can. Cock suckers, agile as fuck. He can go straight up. up because his fuck claws are not long he fuck got you in two seconds oh yeah this is a fucked up thing you know the rhinos you know what a rhino is oh yes they're endangered a little bit I guess yeah a little bit yeah people poach the fuck of them yes they want that horn now in South Africa they're injecting the horns

with radioactive material oh yeah to try to save the fuckers are they yeah I guess it's harmless the animals and it can be detected by customs agents so what's that mean? You got a horn in your bag, you're getting God. The problem with the fucking concept is the wrong is still going to get killed. They're still dead. You just get caught with them. So they're

catching repeat offenders that are killing them over and over. They're catching people that are lying them. Not the people killing them. Radioactive horns, huh? It's fucking different. Why don't they instead put a fucking like a, they should

put a poison? Or an exploding charge on the horn. Yeah. So when the poacher comes up, blows up like a grenade, takes his face off. You know, that could lead in the animal too. There could be some accidental face off. And that would probably endanger the animal more if you put a grenade on his horn.

Your mother had a grenade on her horn, didn't she? No. Is North Dakota a good living? Great living, Ricky. Yeah, yeah, man. If you're into nature. Might be moving there. That one's and shit.

The fourth layer of the city, M-I-N-O-T, Minnet, Minot, Minot, Minot, no, no. Okay, what about it? What about it? They need me. Why? No dope. They're fucking overrun by ground squirrels. Oh my god.

Tens of thousands of little fuckers. Squirrels. Yeah, they're ruining... Do you really want to get in? Ruining driveways and lawns and fucking sidewalks. sidewalks, people tripping over their holes, they're tunneling everywhere. Do you really want to get into a fucking lifelong fucking tussle with school? You know what it reminds me?

He's the Elmer Fudd against what's his name, Daff, he fucking duck. Wiley Coyote? Or whatever, the Wiley, whatever the Coyote is, yeah. Elmer Fudd wasn't fighting Miley Cotto. Who the fuck was he? I don't know these fucking guys. Oh, he was the cat guy, wasn't he? Boney was fighting Mawley.

Who was the guy that was chasing after? The fucking bird there, the roadrunner. M-mm, ma'am. Yeah, you'd be like that. You'd be the guy hunting that thing. Always getting fucked over. Well, they got one guy dealing with the problem. He's not being very good at it.

Is it Bill Murray from Caddyshop? Should be. Because he was good at it. Why would you have one fucking guy? That's a lot. That's a lot of squirrels for one fella. What do you do with them? You got to find something...

You know what they got to do? No, this... You need a squirrel eater. You need one... You need to get a bunch of kids out. with pellet guns, start fucking killing them. Then you rip the tails out. That's a great idea.

And then you're like, here's a tail, you get a buck for a tail. I think you should hire a bunch of bald eagles. They'd have a fucking field there. Where do you hire such a thing, Ricky? Tell me. From an eagler? If you were going to hire a bald eagle, what would be the process? Just look up an eagler.

An eagler. That's it. Is that a such thing as an eagle? No, there's not. Well, then we should stare at one. Eagles are ass. Eagleer and a falconer. Falcons will do it too, man. All right, falcons and eagles.

We're going into business. Peregrine Falcon. You should be able to call up a company, Eagles or us, and say, yeah, I need 20 of your fucking finest killer Eagles. For what? To get rid of squirrels. Thousands of them, man. It's the fucking politically correct way to kill things.

Let nature take its course, basically. Basically. I'm firing a bunch of hungry eagles into the air. Well, that's like a, what do you call it? I don't want to use big words and scary, but... Which one? I think it would be an ecosystem. Whoa.

I don't know if that's the correct use or not, but the fact you said that is amazing. All right, this is a fucked up story. This guy made some cash. You know the Google Maps? Eagles, you know the... Falcons. No, not them. But Google Maps, you know, they got the car with the cameras.

Anyway, the cruises on this neighborhood, they catch this fucking guy in his backyard naked. So then, of course, you know, if you go to an address or somewhere around that, you see Buddy right there with his ass hanging out. Yeah. Wow. So anyway, all his neighbors were fucking. He became the laughing stalk of the neighborhood. I'm not sure why. Because maybe he's got horrible ass.

You think it might make it more popular? You think so. Anyway, he sued them and got 12,000 euros. Whatever the fuck that is. Canadian money? It's about 25,000? You got 25 grand. It's not a lot of money for hanging your fucking junk out.

It wasn't, it's just his ass, man. That got caught. Huh. What of his wiener? What would that have been worth? Probably, I'd say 50. There was a guy on Google Maps in Dartmouth that, uh, if you search a certain address, he's on the street with a fucking handgun.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I did see that one. Now he's blurred. Really? Yeah. How do people find this shit? That's what I'd like to know. You just go on Google Earth and just street view

and go around the neighborhood? Oh, man, you see these clips all the time of these fucking Google Earth shit and they find people... Yeah, but you'd have to be a fucking dispose of bodies and shit. Satellites, man. Sposing of bodies. Yeah, people digging graves.

This one thing I saw, this fucking other... This body and a... That's pretty bad timing. You're burying a body and a Google car... No, it wasn't a Google... It was Google Satellite, man. Oh, Google Lights. Yeah.

Google side. You know what? You wouldn't think a guppy was such a fucking strong fish? Yes, you would. Guppies are pretty fucking crazy, man. Is that another word for goldfish? No, that's another word for pocilia ricticulata, whatever. Oh yeah, I know those.

Your mother had that one time. Anyway, they got these goldfish. The fucking ones you buy and you throw them in your fucking tank. That's what I just says. It's a fucking goldfish. It's like it's not a goldfish. It's a guppy. Okay.

The ones with the bigger eyes. Anyway, it's been thriving in Ukraine's polluted sewers for decades. These fucking things will live in piss and shit, vomit. Oh, yeah, they can suck the shit through their fins and through their gills, I mean. There's tons of them. They've got shit filters in their gills. They're shit guppies. So you go sewer fishing or what?

You can make a lot of money off these guppies. Why? How? Selling the fucking... People want to eat shit guppies? People want shit guppies. Who would cook a shit guppy and eat it? They're not going to eat the fucking guppy.

They're gonna put them in their aquariums, man, and fucking just sit there and chill out while they're big. Why would you just buy a non-shit guppy? Exactly. Because you can get maybe two shit guppies for the... Guppies for the price of one. But then you put a shit guppy in your tank and... And they still look beautiful.

But do you gotta put shit in your tank? It's not gonna feel at home. No, I'm just saying they can fucking survive and piss and shit. You're not gonna fucking bring them home to your tank, take a shit in it, and throw your guppies in there. I'm just saying. They can survive in shit and piss. Yeah, but why would you want one?

Because if you're pulling them out of their normal shit and piss. It's cruelty to guppy. You know what? It's like taking them out of prison and putting them in a nice home, okay? But people, when you pull people out of prison, they're like, I want to go back to my shit and piss. It's a fucking guppy. I was enjoying my shit and piss. If the thing dies in a nice clean, fucking filtered environment, fuck them.

It probably is going to fuck the guppy. You should get two for one. Flushing around the toilet. Maybe they'll come back to life. They could be having that too, shit and piss withdraw. And their lungs could have adapted to... All right, you know what? We should get some shit guppies.

They've got shit gills. First, we'll go ten days with it being clean, and then you guys can piss and shit in it, and we'll do an experiment. And you'll see a big smile on his face. Yeah. He'd be fucking doing laps around the shit pan. Okay.

You can do it. You can do it. Gulfing down shit and siphoning it through his gills and re-cyfining the piss. I like to see these things like survive in a tank full of fucking like diarrhea, let's say. Jesus. They do, if they're happy in that environment, I want them watching. Have you ever had the diarrhea into an aquarium?

No, but I think it might have to get the right sewer ratio, though. You'd want to have a bit of laundry. I don't know, see. Yeah, you'd need some dish detergent. Yeah. Some blood. Shampoo, tooth taste. But here's the thing.

If we can get our hands in some shit guppies, we do these tests, we fucking do videos, on them? People would buy them. I don't know why... Who doesn't want to have a fucking diarrhea of shit in a fucking aquarium, see things moving around, be happy? People are fucked. I'm not seeing it. I don't see the business here.

I don't think this is a huge market for it. I don't see the business model. Call up fucking Kevin O'Leary. Call Kevin O'Leary. Yeah. Invest in your shit guppy. They're half price. They're shit copies. I fucking buy it. Shit gullies could be huge, man. Okay.

O'Leary, I'd buy a t-shirt. Kevin O'Leary probably has a fucking shit guppy tank. He'd probably eat shit guppies. See, because there's people, like, you, people get sick, right? When they're drinking, they do stupid things. I could see someone throwing up in an aquarium. All the fish would die except for the shit guppies. So I would like to see that.

Drunk-proof fish. Drunk-proof fish! That's even better than shit-guppies. Now, I like shit-guppies. I like shit-guppies, too. That's a good band name. shit guppies. The shit gopies.

See? I don't know, man. Shit rockers is better. I bet you could sell them for twice as much money because they can more versatile. I can't imagine going to buy a fish. And I'm like, hmm, do I want a regular guppy?

Or one that can... Shit guppy. I want to shit in the aquarium today and see the fish live. Don't know, boys. It's probably got hepatitis, a bunch of other shit. Wow. Pan-fried shit guppy should be on a menu, the restaurant.

They're like that fucking big. They're small. Well, then you get a whole bowl of them. What do you mean they're small? They don't grow big? Guppies aren't that big of a fucking... Gopies are you, aren't they? Oh, man.

Here, let me get... I'll dig deeper into the story. If you were in a restaurant and they had pan-fried shit guppies, would you order a plate of them? I'd be curious. No, I don't like fish. And would it be a white fish? Probably not. No, it'll be a brown fish, right? Oh, God.

Finless brown. Oh. That's what's in the Halifaxax. That's what's in the Halifax. The Fox Harbor, the Finless Brown, the main fish. I heard the harbor's clean now. You can swim in it. I'm not ready to go there yet.

You probably can, but I mean 20 years ago, the Finless Brown was rampant. Yeah. Just fucking dumping raw sewage right into the harbor. Just a wide open shit pipe. You don't want, you don't want the ship puppies don't like the shit when it's like in a slope, the slow moving parts of the fucking river where the fuck they're at.

You go downstream, they're not liking it. They're not liking it. They like the fucking quick pace. Who does? It's a quick pace. Yeah, they like the water flowing fast. If it's shit water, they like it flowing. Well, they don't like staying in shit off.

They can withstand the shit if it's going by fast. That's what I mean you need to go to the ratio. Yes, you can't just, they, you wouldn't just throw them into a diary of toilet and expect them to thrive. See, I think they would thrive. Wow. How long have we been talking about the shit done? I don't know. So that's what you want to do.

You want to switch careers and get into the science of the fish guppy. I'm saying if we had actual studies, I'm sure people can fucking buy them, man. Who cares, though? Let's get into something that doesn't involve. How long have we been talking about it? And how many questions have you asked me? Okay, I'll buy a shit guppy. Okay, there we go.

Two for one. Put me down for a pair. Shit guppies. Ernie and Bert. What's the bag in the fucking sewer? I'm gonna call him Ernie and Bert. I guess that's it, boys. Let's go.

You gotta get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I told Ronnie I would be this long. He gave me a drink of tequila. He's just, I'm told you, man. Who did? Ronnie gave me a drinking tequila on the way in. We run this fucking place, okay? That's right.

Went to shit for a bit, but it's back. Back, skullops. Fucking fajita Tuesdays. Yep. Big ball hockey game later on. It's gonna be awesome, man. You got a ball hockey game today? Damn rights we do.

I'm going out in Gladys' boat. You got a bagger? No, I'm not going to bang. We got two o'clock nap time in here now. Ciesta. Ooh, I like that. All right, everybody. Cheers.

We got a ball hockey game. I'll be right there if you're watching this glass. He's got to do some bagging with that. What the fuck's up with you, Gladys? She's been a lot of time with her. No, she's got a new rowboat. We're going out in the pond.

In the rowboat. She's going to give you a hand- gonna row or she's not doing any of that gladys doesn't get handy she's a two fister on the old wars isn't she to row your boat no down the street are you gonna motorboat her i'll tell you about it next week all right awesome new episodes every week on trailer park boys plus subscribe now