Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 24 - Candyman

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

The Boys are recovering from last nights' Halloween partying - and what the f*ck is Bubbles dressed as?! Ricky reveals his trick or treat candy scam, Julian gets trolled, and Bubbles unboxes something very f*cking exciting... get ready for LONGHAULER!

See the video version of park after dark in Ricky's trailer go to swear net comm or download the trailer park boys swear net app All right, welcome to the park after dark Still recovering. It was Halloween last night and we were a little fucked up. Some of us have not been to bed. That would be me. You know what? Is he awake? Oh, he is awake. Hey.

What? Bobbs. What? You might get punctured here shortly. I might puncture you right in the tits. I can't hear much, boys. Your blueberry. Just let me know when we start the thing.

We're started, bud. We started. It's on? Yeah. Welcome. You know what? You snore, by the way. You remember snoring? Remember I was whacking you through the fucking night to wake up? Ooh!

You, man. You snore. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's that noise? Ricky. Shit. What do you think? Is it...?. What's that noise? Ricky. Oh shit. What do you think? It's quite a hole, boys. Wait now, this is Moe's fucking candy. No, Moe's is down here on the floor.

This is Ricky's candy. Ha ha ha. But, no, you didn't go trick or treating. Well, last year I found out, you know, there was people were sick, supposedly. So some parents came to my door and said, hey, I'm collecting such and such. My son's sick.

So just give me an idea. Even though he wasn't sick and he went trick or treating on his own, I could still go around and collect. Same sick. So you went around and said to everybody, hey, trick or treat for my fucking sick grandson? Correct. And you were with your grandson?

And he will probably eat a lot of them. Trick or treat! Yeah, Bubs. So you know what's even, all right, you can take it up a notch next year. You can bring three extra bags with you. Say you have a set of triplets that are your grandkids. They're all fucking sick,

because you can't get them to separate most of the time. They all got fucking runny noses. They're puking. You get three bags. I would never thought of that. Plus, because they are triplets, that even makes it more special, so you can really say, ah, come on, give me a few more.

That is a good idea. Thanks, man. That's what I would do. If I had three bags like this, man, you could almost open up a store. Can you imagine getting fucking whacked with that now? The blueberry man, the blueberry man. I am the blueberry.

Whoa! What? Were you poking at me? Don't you puncture my blueberry man suit. He's the blueberry man. Up soft boys if you're hungry. I'm hungry. Oh wait, wait, wait. Okay, last week.

What are you making? The blueberry man has no hole in his mouth. Oh, he can get a hole if he needs to. Are we having nachos like we said? Here, there's some nachos. Yeah, we're gonna put some cheese on these Doritos. Gonna be delish. All right, I got one thing. I do have to have a little apology to some guy

that's online on the site named C.D. Julian's apologizing? Well, I'm just saying, Randy was here. I was pissed off. I was in a bad mood right out of the gate. Kind of gave it to the guy a little bit, but apologize, man. You're willing, you know, you can say what you want.

You got trolled, Julian. Yeah, you say what you want, man. I don't care, it's your opinion. He trolled you. I just don't like Randy, okay? So it's hard to be nice to him sometimes. Whoa. I'm still scared as fuck right now. It's fucking annoying, man.

Like it's got that high pitched noise. What is it? Supposed to be chains or something? That's Little Peter, I call him. Little Peter. All right, enough. Oh, shit. There we go. Oops. Down he went. Okay, just...

I'm gonna do a reconfigure here. Hey, Bubs. Tell a story, Ricky. Ted, you hear about this, uh... the pizza shop in Germany that was selling cocaine? Hey, Bubs. Tell a story, Ricky. Ted, you hear about this, uh, the pizza shop in Germany that was selling cocaine? No. Pretty smart. If you called up and you placed an order for pizza number 40...

Yeah? You get a pizza, all right, but you also get cocaine. Ah! That was their system. A pizza 40. You order the number 40? And what would you get? Coincidentally, they're best-selling pizza. I wonder why.

So you get a pizza and some little cocaine. Pay a higher fee, put it on your credit card, whatever. So they got busted. Yeah, well, the cops caught on. I can hear, I'm back. You hit that fucking thing on your head all night, man. The, well, the cops caught on. I can hear. I'm back. That's good, pups. You hit that fucking thing on your head all night, man. The blueberry man, the blueberry man.

Found my two keys of coke at the pizza restaurant. Yeah. And 268,000 euros. Holy fuck. They're fucking doing some business. Yeah, we're making some pizzas, man. Okay, pizza. Oh, there, look, I turned off my...

There, boys, she's deflating. You're starting to become normal again. The blueberry man what a time I had. What a fucking time. What a time I had as the blueberry man. You know see here with that dog up in the pyramid? Oh yeah. That was flying over man and a glider son Yeah, how'd he get up there little bastard photo cock He's he walked up the fucking thing. Yeah, you know why cuz he's dumb like most dogs Get up there. No fucking idea how to get down probably Well, I don't know man, so they get him down, you know, I don't know

No, that's awesome Well, I don't know, man. Did they get him down, you know? I don't know. Hard to tell. Probably mashed up. He probably just ran down the fucking thing, man. There's a pretty big garment, though. I was reading that these medical students discovered three cocks on a dead man's body. Three what? Cocks. Where were they?

On his body. It's called trifalia, I guess. Trifalia, you got three dicks. So anyway, then the article went on, which I didn't notice. One in every six million boys that are born have two shafts. What? Yeah.

That got his attention. No, I take it. Come on. All right, I'm over that, okay? He's going into penis management, so he might want to find a couple clients with two shafts. I don't think it's going to happen. Double the money? I'm not talking, people are sensitive about that shit, man.

No more talk about cocks. Who is? Just people, man, online. They're like, what the fuck do these guys talk about cocks so much? I just think they're funny sometimes, maybe. Do we talk about it too much? Well I was, that was the whole guy in the UK that I was trying to manage, right? So then things got a little crazy after that.

So should I not talk about this next story? No, you should if it's a story, news. If it's news, yeah. Oh yeah, it is. Okay. It's about this Brazilian trainer, got the penis enlargement, it's been a long line of guests. Showed the before and after pictures.

He says he can't put his hand around it. What? He said it's longer and a lot thicker. Jesus Christ. I mean that's... So it's at least... Yeah, it's at least that big if you can't put your... You're like a bone dog.

Did he get like silicone injected into it or what? They injected body fat and some kind of fillers. He said it's only a 40 minute operation and he's never been happier. He's happy. Happy customers. Loves his big dog. Loves his big wiener.

Do I have a drink Ricky? Yeah right here. So I thought I had one. Julian begs the question. Yes? Would you consider having your penis enlarged? No, man. I'm not getting no.

Why not? I'm happy, OK? I'm happy. Jesus, man. You can't be happy with the nickname light switch. I would like to invest in this doctor's clinic, because I bet me he's going to be making some serious fucking dough.

Oh, he's definitely making serious dough. 40 minute procedure, yeah. A lot of people are going to be flying to fucking Brazil. So is it just the girth or is it the length as well? That's both. I'm not talking about it. Any more? Very. Don't give a fuck, man.

I'm glad Buddy's making a lot of money. I don't know if he's making any money. He's just very happy. He's a personal trainer, so he's probably give you like a Pay little extra It's a side job is it Man They got this fucking a life-size robotic whale shark. What the fuck is that all about? It's over in China. It's over in China, man. They're throwing it in, man.

I don't know. Maybe they can't keep the other fuckers alive. Like environmentally friendly animals or...? It looks real. What is it? It's a big fucking whale shark, but it's a robot, man. What do you think of that? Where? The big fucking fish looking thing on my screen. Come on. Can't see it from here.

You know what a whale shark is, right? Not really. I'm assuming it's a large fish type item. Jesus Christ, Bluntz. You've seen a fucking whale shark before. Oh yeah. Let me see. That's a robot. That's a large fish type item. Jesus Christ, blimey. You've seen a fucking whale shark before. Oh yeah. Let me see.

That's a robot. That's a robot, man. That's real. How does it look? Does it look good? It looks real good, man. If I saw this fucking thing in the water, I'd freak out.

Look at him. It's a robot. It does look pretty good. It looks really good. It's a robot. Oh yeah, yeah, you can see the parts there, okay. It's not that great looking. It looks like shit.

The head looks all right, but the rest of it is fucked. Too much candy. No. You're gonna be up. Let me know what? All fucking night, Bubs. I'm not calling trick or treating next year, I don't think. I might still have some of this left next year.

Ricky, a couple of big fucking joint nights and this'll be gone. You don't realize how much candy you eat when you're stoned. You eat a lot of candy, man. What? Yeah. Ricky, it's unbelievable. Something's good for you. Candy? No.

I don't think a lot of it. You see the video of that Bigfoot Bubs? Oh, yeah. Parallel forest in Oklahoma? No. It's a good one. Best footage ever. It's not blurry.

He's looking right at it, man. The camera, he's looking right down the fucking road. I don't doubt it. How many years have I been telling you? Well, I've always doubted you, but I'm starting to begin, man. Okay. I told you I saw one of the cocksuckers. Well, I see what you're saying. It's bullshit. It was just some guy dressed up.

Oh, that's what I said. Well, they can tell. Nowadays, AI can tell you if it's his gate. Oh, really? His gate. Really? Yeah. But how do they know I didn't make it?

Yeah, that's a good question. That's true, man. You know what? Fuck looking at this video. It's probably fake. Is this the big cock? No, man. Yeah, Mike, to be honest, like, I hear a lot of these stories.

No, I don't care. I'm done. It's only so believable. Like, people... We're not getting you into wanting to watch a three-hour fucking documentary on Bigfoot. I wouldn't. You wouldn't? I could tell you in two seconds if it's AI or not. Okay.

I wish I would've got you to look at it. All right, this is a spot we gotta go to, boys. This is, this sounds like a lot of fun. Not. You can go, you can go catch wild boars at this place. With your bare hands. Yeah, I've heard places like that in Florida. Six hundred sixty pounds, they reach a speed of seventy kilometers an hour.

Holy fuck, I didn't know that. Seventy fucking kilometers, man. Geez, that's faster than your mother. That's faster than your mother heading down to the pier when the sailors come in. Yeah, Bob, just come on. Get it? Anyway, you pay to do that.

And if you catch one, you get to keep it. And then do whatever you want with it. What if it kills you? Then you probably sign a waiver on that one. That's a good question, Ricky. What if it kills you? Then you probably signed a waiver on that one. That's a good question, Ricky. Whatever kills you, Julian? The probably thing will eat you. What is your recourse if it kills you?

I don't know, man, because you probably signed off something before you went in there to chase these little fuckers around. So you get killed, you get killed. Say it, Nora. Yeah? Yeah. This is a weird one. I wonder if my dad might be secretly living in Pasadena, California now. They've got what's called a piss bandit. A piss bandit? I heard about the Pasadena piss bandit. Fucking six years now, they don't know who he is, can't catch the fucking guy, wears a mask and gloves. And he leaves piss jugs all over the fucking thing

on the street. He's leaving piss jugs. But artfully displayed. Whatever that means. On the utility box. Imagine if it was Bray. Bray's out there. He's doing it several times a week, too.

He's a heavy pisser. He's a heavy pisser. And he's not leaving big jugs, he's leaving more like. Yeah, like water bottle size. Water bottle size. He's got them all nicely. He's a heavy pisser. And he's not leaving big jugs. He's leaving more like... Yeah, like water bottle size. Water bottle size. He's got them all nicely labeled, that it's urine. He labels it human urine. HIV positive.

He's HIV positive. Who knows? That's what the bottle said. So this guy is like labeling his piss, so he's like meticulous at it. And people think he's like an artist. He's doing piss art. Yeah, comparing him with Banksy, which I think is a bit far-fetched. See, Banksy's more, he thinks his out and his makes sort of a social or political statement.

I don't know if PestJugGuys does. Yeah, I don't think so. I think he's just pissing in bottles, firing them on the fucking utility panel. Maybe they're not artfully arranged. Maybe people are just reading into it too much. I think so. I mean, you could say, hey, this is art right here. This table, this is art.

It is art. It's food art. It's food art. Take some lacquer, make it so that nothing can move. Who the fuck is at my door? Here. I don is at my door? Mira. I don't answer my door. Lisa didn't say it was police.

You need help, Thuribus? Holy fuck, this guy had a live cockroach in his intestines, man. New Delhi. They got cockroaches there, man. He got it from street food. That's... They... fucking cockroaches, man. Fuck. Why are you accepting my packages, Bubs?

Holy fuck, boys. Just wait. Mr. Ford. I think this is mine. Hang on, give me a thing. Why the fuck would a box come here with nothing on it? Because I fucking sent it here, Ricky. Here, put it down. Let's see what it is.

Just wait here. Let me just cut through the fucking... What? It's here. What's here? It's here, boy. It's here. Oh, yeah. What is it, man? It's here, boys. It's here. Oh yeah. What is it, man? Look at that, buddy.

It's Long Hauler. Holy fuck, that's cool. And this is the Orange Tabby Edition. What does that mean? What is that? Here, I'll just show you. Holy fuck. Just wait.

Okay, look, see that? Orange tabby edition. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This here's the, this here's just the straight up black one. That's black vinyl. Look at that, the green bastard edition. Nice. Fancy blue suit.

I want that one. Edition. And the long hauler edition, which is like a holy fucking... That's all of them, right there. Well, different ones. You know what, that's smart, man. That's how people want to collect them. And they'll say, oh, I'm gonna have... That's why I did it, dude.

I'm gonna get all five of them, and I'm gonna try to get them signed. Here, I need to make a precision cut, right? Can you give me a knife? Okay, how much... What are you making off this, man? What's the profit margin? You got a clean knife, Ricky? Uh, should be. So what's your margins on these fucking things? Are you, like, gonna make money?

What's a margin? Oh, fuck. What? What's a margin? Profits. Well, let me just see. Which one do we want to see first, boys? How about the... Here, I'll just open the regular black one first. Boys, this is going to be available.

This is going to be available next week to buy. Cool, man. Where can you get it? Like, the record, it's going up on, like, all the DSPs. next week to buy. Cool, man. Where can you get it? Like the record, it's going up on like all the DSPs today onto the streamers. Fuck, it's a DSP. Digital streaming platforms. These are the things you need to know

when you're in a rock band. And what are the merges? The merges must be better on that, are they? You don't gotta fucking use. Well, that's just the streamers, right? Do you like her doing it? Okay, so look boys so look boys here just wait get this fucking plastic off it's just okay okay so look dad if I was a collector long hauler look at that double rackers oh yeah that's cool that's me like John Cash style look at

that on the back all the the songs, all the... You know what would have been way cooler? You had Dolly Parton sitting right next to you. In that picture. How the fuck would I get Dolly Parton? I took this down at the Irving. Just take a reasonable distance and imagine, Dolly, right there.

Your hands around her. But how would I get her in here? I took these at the fucking Irving. I'm not just saying, man. I could have maybe made it happen. Oh, look at that, Deese. Look at this, boys. Got the kiddie paw. It's a big cat paw.

Side one lyrics, and then look who's paw that is. Oh, yeah, that's pretty cool. Lobster? Vince the Pince. Vince the Pince. Vince the Pince, and then... So this should just be the regular... Yeah, that's just like a piece of black vinyl.

Why'd you open that one, of all ones, man? That just looks like a shit. Oh, no, just so you can see. Yeah, it looks like a piece of black vinyl. Why'd you open that one of all ones, man? That just looks like shit. Oh no, just so you can see. Yeah, it looks like a record. That looks like a record. But now watch this, you guys talk amongst yourselves while I unleash the fucking goods. These are gonna sell like hotcakes, Julian.

Pretty cool, I like it. I think so. Okay, Julian wanted the blue guy, did ya? Give me the blue one, man. So this is called the Fancy Blue Suit Edition. This is based on the suit I'm wearing on the cover, which, if you recall, we bought that with Alex Lifeson's credit card. Remember?

Yeah, I remember. It's close, man. It's not really the same blue. It's a bit darker. Well, in the picture it's different. I can't get the fucking thing open. Damn it. Jesus Christ.

Here we go. How come it says the best of? It's the first one. Well, just in case I don't ever get to do another one. It has to be the best one, you know? This is the best one. Well, if you do do another one, it's better. That's a fuck.

Then it's gonna... Better than the best. It'll be the very best. Very best. Ah. Oh, boys, look at that. Oh, yeah. That's pretty slow.

That's what I'm talking about, Puffs. Woo! That is the sexy looking vinyl. Ooh, baby! That's nice, man. That's pretty cool, man. That is the fancy blues suit edition. So it's a two-sided record. All most records are two-sided. You got all the fucking music and stuff there,

the lyrics. Right. Is that it? Is that what's going on there? No he means there's music. No I'm just saying right there., that's the lyrics for side one. All the songs, lyrics for side two. You know what? You did a good job, bud. Yup. Yeah. There's a few things that would've changed, but I think, you know, you're off to a good start.

What the fuck would you have changed? You know, Dolly Parton. Maybe someone dressed up like her or something. Wow. That stuff sells, man. I couldn't get Dolly, sorry. All right. I'm just gonna keep opening them. You guys can move on to the new next business

as I surgically open the records. That's a fucking nice truck, man. Whose rig is that? I don't know. I just jumped in front of it down at the Irving It was at the pumps. I didn't even ask permission. I just got out of the car Nice jump in front of her Got the picture taken and away I went So what's the scoop? Are you guys gonna go on a tour or something? What's happening sometime in the future? That's cool looking.

Look at that one. Not as cool as the blue one but gorgeous. That is the Long Hauler edition. Nice burgundy. Gorgeous burgundy color. What one's that now? It's the green one. Oh. Take it out of the thing. You take it out. The green bastard. Yes. Oh, here's the unveiling of the green bastard. Excuse me. Where do we, uh, where do people buy this thing? Are we gonna set up a stand out there or what?

No, you get it like at Amazon and... I was gonna be in the stores. TrailerPerkBoys.com. Nice, I hope you saw a lot, man. Who's got a flashlight? You got a light on your phone? Hold it up behind this. Yes, look, Ricky, it's green translucent.

We should have went on Shark Tank or something. Oh yeah, look at that. Look at that. Green translucent. Nice. Yeah, that's cool man. Long haulers. Long haulers.

That is some gorgeous. But now the my favorite, the one I've been waiting for, is the orange tabby edition. Because it's what they call a hand paw. What the fuck does that mean? orange tabby edition. Because it's what they call a hand pour. What the fuck does that mean? It means every one is done by hand, so there's no two of them alike. So it could be all fucked then?

No, it's not going to be all fucked. I just mean it's not going to look like any other orange tabbies, because they're all going to be slightly unique. Because it's a hand pour. Just the orange one? The orange one is the only one that was the hand-poured one. So I mean all the, you know, the green ones are all gonna look very similar.

How would anybody know that that's a hand-poured fucking record of us? Because you wait, I'll tell ya, you'll know when you see it. I don't believe you. Because you, man, it's got... Looks like laws and imperfections. Yeah.

Oh, this one, okay. So this one might have been one of the... Doesn't have a lot of the hand, pory stuff in it. But you can see... Oh, yeah, when you look close, see all the... Yeah, yeah. See all the swirly cream stuff in it and stuff? Oh yeah, yeah. That's on purpose then, right?

Yes. All right. Okay. That's all. Yes. How are you, man? All the imperfections and little unique bitches. Are they more expensive? I don't know. Oh.

I haven't even... I think they must be a little bit. What do you think? Tiny bit more expensive than the other ones anyway. You know what? You did a good job, man. That's them right there, boys. Long Hauler is officially... Good job, man.

Very good. ...especially out. You must be fucking pretty happy about that. Well, I never had a... Well, it took more than that, Ricky. Look at that recorded at Tabby Road Studios. You never gave up, though, Bob. That's the name of the game, right? Never give up. Ricky, look at that, recorded at Tabby Road Studios. Tabby Road Studios.

You never give up though, Bob. That's the name of the game, right? Never give up. Never give up. Never give up, man. Julian always talked about that. Always be positive. Never give up, you used to say never give up

unless you're really tired or you're just bored and you don't wanna do it anymore. Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it. That was more what you used to say, yes. Sometimes you just gotta give up and say fuck it. Say fuck it. Have a drink. Ah!

Very exciting. My butt. So when was the last time we have slept, boys? I'm starting to like slow down here a bit. How could you sleep? I don't know whether we should go hard or- You're staying up all night. It's not easy anymore. It's not good. It used to be easy anymore. It's not good, man.

It used to be fucking easy. It used to be way easier. So, what do you think we should do now? One or two grams of mushrooms? Have a few drinks? Smoke a hash cannon? Definitely would smoke. Okay.

Mushrooms, this time of day, don't know. Why, man? Mushrooms? Fuck it. You really wanna get on mushrooms? I wanna get on mushrooms. It's Friday, I guess. I'm about to fall asleep, man.

I'm not wasting this Friday night, man. Oh, you're eating the Starburst, are you? I don't know. I'm just eating. I feel like I'm on a sugar high. Very excited, you know, things are happening. Records are coming out. Yeah, yeah, we'll have to go to the flea market

and see if we can sell some. Yeah, Ricky. These are the same color as Vince the Pinch used to be. Mm-hmm. Aren't they? Sloths may be the only mammals that don't fart. Who would've thought, man? Who? Dogs?

A sloth. I was gonna say dogs. A sloth they hang around. They just look like they would just be giving it, man, because they do nothing. They're slow. Only type of pet cartoon sloth. Little baby sloths are fucking, they're cute, man.

Baby sloths. Jesus. They're cute man. Baby sloths. Jesus. They're slow, aren't they? Not as slow as this. Ha ha ha ha ha. Get it? I get it man. I get it too. We're slowing way down boys.

We need to increase the sugar intake boys. Can't do it. Yeah, or maybe sleep. Although it's time of day now, we don't go to sleep. Now who goes to sleep at this hour? What time is it? It's... It's the morning, isn't it? It's kinda like, yeah, I don't know, man.

Do you know the Frank Sinatra was offered to leave role in Die Hard? Can you imagine that? Would've been a totally different fucking movie. Die Hard Frank Sinatra was offered the leave role in Die Hard? Can you imagine that? Would have been a totally different fucking movie. Die Hard? Sinatra. Better, worse. I can't picture it.

He wasn't even alive. Yeah, he was. That's what they say, man. When did Frank Sinatra die? Don't know. Don't care. He didn't offer. Maybe Frank Sinatra die? Don't know. Don't care. He didn't offer. Maybe Frank Sinatra Jr. He was an action star. Firm-raised ostriches...

What? Firm-raised ostriches get turned on by humans. That is scary. Imagine having a firm like that. Imagine a fucking ostrich humping you. How big is this wing? Well, they're big, man. They're massive birds. They are pretty big. I rode one once.

Yeah, you did. I was on an emu. When? I don't know. It was an emu. Emu? It was, I was too big for it. You were way too big for it, man. You weren't on an emu. He was on an emu. Emu? It was, I was too big for it. You were way too big for it, man.

You weren't on an emu. He was on an emu, man. We should have had a table. I've heard about people riding ostriches and I thought that ostrich was, but it wasn't, it was an emu. Was I there? Hard to tell.

Well, this is some Halloween podcast. Well, that's what I'm saying, boys. I'm done. Like, I don't... I need to need more things that make me go, yeah. You know what the problem is? Exactly. The problem is not really a Halloween podcast

because that was last night. So we're at the end of this, man. We're done celebrating. So I think we should just have a nap regroup. All right. Let's do it. Say goodbye, Bubs. Okay, everybody. Thanks for tuning in.

Thanks for Halloween. Thanks for all the treats and the candy. Now, get ready to go pre-order that cocksucker right there. Go order, right? Yeah, get her going. Get the credit card, so I don't care if it's stolen, whatever, as long as it goes through, we are happy. Collect the whole set.

To watch the video version of Park After Dark in my fucking trailer, go to Swearnet.com or download the Swearnet Trailer Park Boys app. Fuck off.