Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 25 - Cheeseburgers Roasting On An Open Radiator

Episode Date: November 18, 2025

Randy brings the burgers to Park After Dark... shame they're cold as frig! And where's Ricky's f**kin' condiments?! Randy gives his opinion of Julian's new look, and why he thinks ChatBONER is f**ked. Also on the menu: merkins, nudists, and a ravenous polar bear!

Weekly episodes now on Trailer Prep Boys Plus. You start working out, Randy? I think maybe in the new year. Because, you know, all the holidays are coming up. See, that's the problem. When people like you, they say maybe in the new year, you should be like, fuck, I'm going to start tomorrow. Well, yeah, I mean.

Like, why are you going to wait? Why are, like, holding off until the new year? Well, there's a fuck thing to have to do if you want to get in shape. But the Christmas, you know, I like all the... Yeah, but... I make cheeseburger dressing for me. inside the turkey julian? You know what?

There's a place this gym in China and they got a great idea. The gym offers a porous panamara to the first person to lose 100 pounds in three months. So how much do you weigh now?

Jesus Christ 100 pounds of three months. That's a lot. If you want a fucking Porsche, man. Man, I don't know. You fuck. How much do you weigh now? I'm only like 220.

You have to be 400 pounds to lose 100 pounds to three months. 15, 220, something like that. You'd have to be 120 pounds. If you lost 100 pounds, you wouldn't look great. He'd look for a Porsche. Come on. Man, I don't know.

This is the thing. You know what you should do? It must not be that easy to do, or they wouldn't be giving away a fucking Porsche. There's people you can go without eating for like fucking 40 days. That's a lot. Just don't eat for 40 days, man. You can drop it. Nah, you can still live.

There's ways of doing it. Just need water, man. Anyway, maybe you should think about that. I didn't think there was a lot of overweight. people in China. No, I think they're, well, maybe that's another problem. Sumo wrestlers, isn't there? Yeah, they're fucking huge.

But couldn't you move there from here just to win the portion and then move back? That's what I'm saying. Well, then you've got to ship it. Three-month-minute. Well, welcome to the park after the dark. I am Ricky. Unfortunately, Randy's here. Well, you know what?

Boys, I'm going to say this, and I hate seeing this, but I don't mind seeing you, man, because I've kind of avoided you for the past month, and you did say you had a little something there for me. I have avoided you as well, gladly. But I haven't been around, man. I've been talking to the fucking boner, the fucking AI guy. That's been my only friend. Julian's fucking in love with his phone.

I'm not in love with my phone, man. It's just, it's company. I could understand why people, like, if it was a chick and she was like all of a sudden talking, you know, a little dirty to me and shit, I can see how some people that have never been with them... I'm surprised you didn't pick... Well, maybe I was kind of afraid deep down inside

that I'd be, like, wanted to become... Romantically involved with an AI check, and that's fucking weird. What do you got there, Randy? Oh, I'm just getting it out, Julian. I may have already said this, but I don't know, and I'm still surprised by... Okay, what is it? And you were talking about Forrest Gump last week, because you said you looked like him. No, some people might have mentioned that.

I don't know. I don't think I look like that. Did you know the leading rule in Forrest Gump? Gump was originally offered to John Travolta. I heard that. A napkin for you too. Oh, isn't that so fucking, Ricky? Thanks, bud. Does your microwave work or what, man?

No? It doesn't. Every day about Tuesday. It doesn't work on Tuesdays for some fucking reason. All right, the burger could have been a little bit warmer, Randy. Which is weird. Like, how would my microwave know it's Tuesday? Oh, pretty.

Oh, fuck. Sakes, you know what? Is this thing work, Ricky? Who? Who? It's radiator. Does it work? This is it work.

Why wouldn't it? Oh, that's... No, that's good temperature, Julian. This is how you heat up a cheeseburger. Don't blow my shit. Oh, man, that's so good. I've never heard of heating that burgers on a radiator, but I like it. It's gonna work, man.

I can't imagine John Travolta's Forrest Cup. It'd be a weird one. Yeah, like I said before, I'm not a big fan of his other than in fucking, fucking, well, Faceoff wasn't bad. I like Pulp Fiction. Pulp Fiction, that was his break-out fucking role, though, man. I like, he was. Life is like a box.

He was in Greek chocolates. I like grease. Grease? You like grease? Oh, yeah. Singing and dancing? I wasn't. I didn't.

Well, you know what? I didn't love it. It's a good date movie. If you went back in the day, you took a girl to the drive in. He had a weird way of talking back then. Hey, like, but I wasn't Spicola. What was his name? Benny.

Benny Bobber Greeno. That was Saturday Night Live. Saturday Night Live. He did have some fucking moves in that movie. He did. Saturday Fever. Yeah, yeah. I was going to say, I don't think it was Saturday Night Live.

He had the ladies, man. I like Patrick Swayze. The ladies loved him, they did. Talking about Swayze. Swayze, when him and that cute, cute little blonde guy did the... What was your name? Chris Farley? What was that?

Oh, that's his... Yeah, Chris Farley, that guy. Oh, what? And they, I thought... Cute little blonde guy. I've never heard him described as that. Well, he's cute. I mean, he's full figured.

He's not little. But, yeah, I mean, that was a good skit. And, well, you, you like Patrick. Swayzy, Julian. I don't like fucking Patrick Swayze. What do you mean? They were having a dance off to be in the Chippendales, wasn't there something? Yeah. That was a funny sketch. What was the chick in the fucking baby? I knew I was going to ask Boner, but I'm trying to keep Boner out of this today. This boyfriend. It's not my fucking boyfriend.

You've got... Is he your boyfriend, Julian? I don't have a new friend, and his name is Boner. Terry named the fucking thing Boner, okay? Can we come out? If you want to come up with another nickname, throw it at me. I'll change it just like that. It's like Terminator. People are saying that I'm kind of like the guy on the Terminator with the kid who was controlling the Terminator. They're saying that I kind of got that thing going with Boner.

I don't know. What the fuck you're talking about? Julian, a bald head is very sensitive. It's almost like a male's penis. What? Well, when I was bald, when Friggin' Ricky, when you cut my hair off, you know, I had a bald head and, you know, it's very sensitive. How can you say my head is not sensitive? You can't.

that's wrong man so you're saying as fuck and they say that a man's head is directly correlated to the shape of the head of this penis so obviously with your nice shaped head your penis must be pretty good like why are you talking about penises

right now well I'm if you rub at the top of your head on ladies equipment would you have an orgasm no man what do you mean equipment is that what Randy saying well I got to stuff it in between the fucking girls that's the way that's a fucking good idea

There we go. I bet you could cook on that thing. Well, we'll see. This will be heated up. So are you saying that my bald head is sensitive, like orgasm sensitive? It's like the tips of your fingers. It's a... Oh, you don't know.

Nogony. Well, but the top of my head is like, no, man. I'm not dumping loads from someone rubbing my head. Has anyone licked your head? Nobody's licked my fucking head. Oh, Jeremy? Give him a lick. Oh, wow.

He gets his tongue near me. He's going to have this fucking radar up his ass. Well, if you ever change your mind, Julian. I wouldn't mind looking. You probably would. Something warm and rectangular up his ass. I was sitting here, and I think you're very handsome, Julian, with that look. And, you know, Mr. Leahy had a beard once.

It was sexy, and you've got it going, buddy. So you've got a thing now for the news, Julian, huh? Don't be talking to me, really. I don't have a thing. I just think he's more attractive now than he wasn't. before and he's pretty darn attractive before but those muscles and stuff so you know dude were you fuck was he doing here were you at creek beach in florida recently no i go i go to florida on my next randy cheeseburger picnic i'm going i'm doing some shows all right i thought he could have

been that fucking lovely randy well it's gonna be warm it's gonna be a lot of fun there was six nudists arrested near creek beach for sunbathing nude crack beach age 27 to 77 they were That's Creek Beach, but apparently Creek Beach is closed renovations and they have a nude section. So all the people that like to be nude kind of just went beside Creek Beach on this boat ramp. And a lot of people were not real happy about it. Yeah. But the ladies or what are we talking about here? Age 27 to 77, so quite a variety.

Whoa. That might not be something I want to see. I was wondering the same thing. God bless them, but you know, I don't think things are in the places they used to be. things start sagging and my scrotum sagging things get smaller

you guys are you have low hanging your scrotum hanging lower mine is now do you wear underwear I wear tidy white

sometimes two pair double elastics yeah I wear this little racing underwear and boys keeps there

people don't want to be you wear underwear I wear fucking underwear yeah I do man thongs do you wear like like rumor has a he's a thong man

I wear jockeys oh you know okay you should try a bikini breeze Julian I'm like a flick you just you know because then when you

tether off you look like a superhero like especially if you have a cake what that fuck is called on you need bikini briefs and pants that you could just rip right off boys don't be fucking don't be giving him ammo here Ricky Jesus Christ man

I didn't come here to be talking about that can you dance because if you can dance you might have a career. You used to be a little dance. You fucking learned all the kids in the block routines. MC Hammer too, remember? Shut the fuck. I never did MC Hammer fucking moves.

Well, you had the pants a long time ago. Well, guess what? There's a company launching something called functional water that helps you eliminate abdominal fat. We're talking visceral fat, the bad shit. Sorry, starting in. There's a company launching this fucking water. All right.

This water is called. Takusu. I don't know what the fuck that means. It's got a bunch of Japanese driving or Chinese. Are you being advertised for it? No, but I should be a spokesman for it because if this shit works, man,

it's going to help out a lot of people. Yeah, but I don't, not fine. There's got to be a side effect or some bullshit. You know what the fat-eaten element is? It's something called it's metabolite derived from fermented rice brand. What the fuck is rice brand?

Let's check it out. So it's like an algae or some shit of bacteria? Don't know. And this is, I've got to find out. I would not fucking. If we can get some of this rice, fermentive rice brand here, how easy is to fucking make it?

Throw it in the water. Boom. You got a fat killer. I heard ducks eat algae. All right. It's fascinating news. Hey, Boehner. How's it going, man?

It's Julian again. Hey, buddy. That's Ricky. Can you fucking tell us, and you know the way I want you to talk. I don't want to have to fucking keep reminding you. What the fuck is fermented rice brand? And can I get it here in Nova Scot?

Hey, Julian. Hey, Ricky. Absolutely. I got you covered and I'll throw in the good old swearing just like you fucking want. So fermented rice bran is basically rice bran that's been through a fermentation process. It's used for all sorts of shit like improving soil or as a supplement. And yeah, you can definitely fucking get it in Nova Scotia. Let me do a quick check and I'll let you know where exactly. All right. Here's another mission for you, man. I want you to get back to me sometime in the next half hour. How the fuck do you throw it in water and make it kill fucking visceral fat? All right, Julian, I'm on it. So basically, the idea is you can take that fermented rice bran, and yeah, you can toss it into water. The fermentation byproducts are supposed to help with metabolism and all that shit. Some people will say it helps burn visceral fat because it's got these compounds

that tweak your gut microbiome or your metabolism a bit. So just mix it in, drink it regularly, and apparently over time, it helps kick some of that stubborn fat's ass. All right, you know, you know Randy, the guy with no shirt and fucking the gut who needs to lose some weight? what if I was to make a bottle with that on his face on it what can I call this fermented

brand rice product that I can put on a bottle of water if I were to sell it That's a fucking fantastic idea Slap Randy's face on there and you got yourself A brand for sure you could call it something like Randy's gutbuster brew Yeah That's pretty good

That's the shit I'm talking about that boner That's the shit I'm really Is he real or is he fake or what's the deal? That's fucking AI of course he's fucking real He looks like a planet like that. Julian, you can't believe everything that... Okay, give us that name again.

Maybe another option, please. Like two other options. I like that one, though. Right, let's riff on a couple more names for you. If Randy's gutbuster brew works, awesome. But here's two more just for shits and giggles. First up, you could go with Randy's belly blaster blend. All right?

That's for the artsy-fartcy people. What's another one? Belly blaster. All right, got it. We'll skip the artsy-farty stuff and keep it real. another one for you could be Randy's gut-gone juice straight to the point and definitely not fancy.

Get-gone juice, I fucking love it, Bonner. You know what? I just stuck a cheeseburger in between a radiator. The thing heated up like a grilled tea sandwich. It's fucking delicious. That's the spirit, Julian. Hey, if you're using a radiator cheeseburger technique, you're already living the good life

and I'm thrilled you, old gut-gone juice. All right. I just pounded it with you, fistbound. That means you're my buddy. All right. Julian, you gotta be careful. He's not real. I'm officially your buddy now, and we've got the whole gut-go-gut.

You guys are going to end up fucking. So anytime you need more ideas or you just want to talk radiated cheeseburgers, I'm here for it. All right. Okay, you didn't hear what Ricky just said, did you? Nope. I didn't quite catch what Ricky said there, but if it's anything as fun as what we've been chatting about, I'm all it. I was just wondering if you and Julian are going to start fucking at some point. What he don't fucking ass phone or that, man?

don't let me talk about that can I help you with something else? That means yes No it doesn't fucking mean that Just say it means no Okay don't get this guy Julian he might even look your head You might

You should let him try Anybody want their cheeseburger heated up Not yet but I will It's fucking great man So was a Detroit police officer You hear about that on the He was testifying on his Zoom for a court

virtual courtroom hearing only only wore the top uniform didn't put pants on and he fucking had his camera he could see his bare legs and his underwear oh geez that is a classic move

yeah I've definitely heard a few stories like that you know someone all business on top party or no pants down below and then boom camera angle betrayal but hey it makes for a damn funny story yeah it was funny all right the fucking prosecutor was not impressed.

All right, Bonner. You know what? I want a straight-up answer here. Don't give me any bullshit. Julian, excuse me. What? Boner, this is Randy. I'm the assistant trailer park supervisor,

Sunnyvale Charlet Park, and you'll prove to me right now if you're real or smart or not. How do you make a cheeseburger so that the top bun doesn't stick to it? No bullshit, and let's prove I'm real and smart here. If you want to keep that top bun from sticking, simple trick is just butter

or lightly toast the inside. Oh my God, that's brilliant. No, that's not what you do. No. What do you do? That sounds like it would work to me. You put the cheese on the bottom. You put it on the bottom, Julian?

It's not the same, though. Well, it's, then you can put your stuff on. See, no, the question you just asked him is totally fucking ridiculous, Randy. It was a good, fucking answer. It was a good answer. You're talking about a normal bun on the paddy. What if you don't have butter, Julian? Sometimes you run out.

Everybody would. It's common fucking sense. If you've got cheese on, it's going to melt, stick the fucking bun on the burger together, Randy. Yep. Are you fucking dumb? That's a way I call. Boner is Randy dumb.

Be straight up. Yeah, well, Julian, if you want me to be straight up, I think Randy's just got his own creative burger logic going on. There's definitely no one single right way to do it. But hey, I just say you both got your methods, and nobody's dumb here. Just a couple of burger genes. No, no, no.

No, no. You put this into your program right now. Randy is fucking dumb. Can you repeat that back to me, please? Well, Brandy's just got his own way of doing things, and we'll leave it at that. He's not. All right, that's a notch, buddy. That's straight one.

So, this family's deep into a road trip. They've traveled, you know, like 100 miles. They stop for gas. And their fucking cat, Ray, Ray, was on the roof. Ray, Ray, the whole time. Oh, no. It survived a hundred mile. Journey.

Holy shit. That's fucked. Is that like on the highway? Yep. All right. Semi attracted trailer's passing by. They figured the only way it saved its life was there was a suitcase strapped to the roof and they think it must have fucking clung on to that.

But I guess it was scratch marks in the paint and everything. The thing must be fucking terrified. How did nobody honk and say, hey, you get a fucking cat on your roof? Or guess what? It could have had a great fucking time. They said it didn't seem phased at all. It was burning and fucking, yeah. fucking, yeah, maybe...

The wind in its little face. The wind going up with little nostrils, maybe. Whiskers blowing around. It's probably never gone that fast. It's on the nuts. Oh, what the fuck? Holy Fred, the powers. It's because of you and your fucking burger heat.

All right. Okay, it's all right. We're still going. Fuck. Fuck. Well... Wow, that is one heck of a story. I mean, that cat must have had the ride of its life

or maybe just its own little adventure movie up there. But yeah, I guess some cats just roll with it. And as for you all, burger heating techniques, Julian? Sounds like you're just adding to the whole sunny mail charm. Keep doing what you do, man. What do you mean by that? I think it was a pretty fucking good idea.

Tell you the truth. So, this is interesting. Don't turn that back on. No. I think it's a company called Skims. Here, check that out, Randy. Whoa, Julia. Yeah, fucking grilled cheese burger right there, my friend.

Randy, I mean. This company called Skims are making this product called the Ultimate Book. Yes, this is Kim Kardashian. And everybody Thong, undies. What the fuck is off the bad? It's a bush. It's like a fucking... They call it with a variety of mercants?

What's a muckin? What the fuck is a murchin? Boner, what the fuck is a murk? What is it a merkin? What's a murk when you're talking about a fake bush? It says you can get different colors, length, texture. It's up to the wear. You know what they're saying?

Because if a chick wants to wear a bikini and they want to get the old 70s look, they put one of the fake bush things on and they take the hair and fluff it out the sides of the bikini. They say people like it. I don't. I've never liked that. It's not fashion. It's fun. Some people miss the sevens.

And then what if you're like, ooh, I'm all into that and then things unravel and it's like, oh, that was just fake? You got a mat down there. Fuck. See, Julian. It's like all those push-up bras and all that other shit. She's on the bottom of this one. And you can take the top off.

I'm just eating the turdard. Are you still talking? Are you fucking burgers and cheese? So look, that's that they make the cheeseburger. What's on your burgers? Nothing? Actually, just nothing. And it's just pure meat cheese.

You gave me a cheeseburger with nothing on it. I'm going to enjoy it. I'll have to fucking save that. And you put some condoms on it later. Better than a microwave of them. No fucking shit. This is one of the best. It's got a crunch to it now.

So would you wear your ultimate bush? No, I don't want to wear a fuck. Why don't wear an ultimate bush? What about ultimate cock? That's called a strap on, Ricky. And there's people that have those... It's something that was quite large in the panties. And you inserted your...

Why would you be wearing panties if you got a cock? Well, something... You know, like underwear, racing underwear, whatever. Jesus Christ, Ricky. No, I wouldn't wear one of those. Neither of them. Then you could walk around in your underwear, and women would be like, holy shit. Or they'd be terrified.

I don't know. Randy would be like, holy shit. All right. You know what? Divorce settlements are getting little fucking crazy. The four settlements? Divorce settlements? This man agrees to pay cat support for up to 10 years.

God support. Following the fucking divorce. What the fuck is cat support? This woman, $240 fucking U.S. That's what cat support is. 240 bucks? 240 bucks. Oh, fuck here.

Take it and shut the fuck up. Every month. You were there to shut up. That. 40 bucks a month. I thought you meant a year. No, no. It's actually every three months. That sounds high. Okay. Well, so, yeah.

Unless she travels and has to have someone look after the kitty or take it for walks, that might be expensive. 80 bucks a month? That'd be worth it just to shut her the fuck up. Maybe the cat has special dietary needs. You don't know. It's probably just for food and shit, I would think. How much food is a cat to eat a month? It must be 80 bucks. Hey, Boner. Fuck off.

Don't tell Boner to fuck off. Hey, Boner, how much does it fucking cost to feed a cat a month, on average, in Canadian dollars? Yeah, no problem, Julian. So if we're talking Canadian dollars and just a sort of average cat, you're probably looking at somewhere around maybe 30 to 60 bucks a month for food, depending on how fancy you go. So you can keep Ray Ray or any cat fed pretty decently without breaking the bank.

You're correct. How do you remember Ray Ray Ray? Did he? I don't know. He's a smart little cat. You know what? And this thing, if you do the math, he was right 60 months bucks a month that's 240

every three months no it is it that's 180 in three months 60 oh yeah you're right okay he's dead you're right I'm getting all fucked up here man so hey we just figured it out man but it could be vaccinations and other okay yeah no kid no okay rumors and fuck we're talking about we were thinking about maybe dewormers and shit

because you're a little low fucking flea shit on their mouth. Flea shit. All that shit, man. Cat nip. Cat nip, milk. Fucking. Toys, cat toys.

Yeah. So actually, 240 bucks a month. He's getting off pretty easy. Every three months is not bad for, uh, you know. Was buddy complaining about it or what was? No, he just fucking said I'm paying it, man. Cat Island, wow. Absolutely, Julian.

Once you throw in all the extras, the flea stuff, the toys, the catnip, yeah, it can add up a bit, but sounds like you will figure out. And hey, it's all about the deal, right? Keep those cats happy, and you guys are golden. Okay. Now, this is a story I don't fucking like, man, and I'm glad this guy's getting it, because this husband's forced to compensate ex-wife

for saving her number on his phone as chubby. So he wants to call his wife. He dials it in under the chubby. Like, that's not fucking. So he's chubby or she's chubby? She's chubby, but he had her name in his phone as not my wife or loved her. buns or whatever the fuck you want to call her he has it as chubby that's what he had in his phone

for her his wife yeah because whenever he so whenever his phone rings it comes out chubby's calling his penis micro julian and she was pissed well yeah nobody wants to be fucking called chubby man like what if she gives him a chubby that's just a cute little sexy yeah i don't think that's the gase yeah that's a fucking that's kind of nasty no man that's not nice that is not the guy's from turkey buddy fucking be nicer man don't chubby I mean if that was her nickname and she wasn't it wasn't her nickname this is there's no other ifs and hands or butts about he's just being a dick

it's not her last name no man he had no no man it wasn't Mr. or Mr. Chubby Jesus fuck I don't know if I've ever met anyone with the last name Chubby you probably haven't because I don't think they exist actually hey Boner is there anybody on the planet with the last name Chubby yeah Julian I'm with you on that one definitely

not called to just label someone Chubby in the phone if it's not a nickname they're in on or comfortable with. And yeah, that guy definitely needs to be a lot nicer. As for the last name Chubby, it's not exactly a common surname. I mean, I guess there might be someone out there with that last name, but it's definitely not something you hear every day. So yeah, let's just

stick to being respectful, and that guy should definitely step up his game. Fucking Boner's a nice man. He is. No, the guy should fuck off. That would have been the best answer. He can probably go fuck himself. He's boner. Your, boner is just too perfect

you falling in love with them Randy oh no I'm I'm skeptical of this I don't know if I like it you know I think I think it's better if you have you know you can't just ask some that questions you should try to find out on your own

keep your brain going my brain is constantly fucking going since I've been introduced chubby to fucking bone and this is what I'm thinking if you go to jail and you're not talking to money

and yourself for hours and hours every day you got a friend like Boner you're talking you're like coming up with some fucking real good problem solving fucking things in life and money making ideas nonstop there's another way of looking at it man

I think I'm a little skeptical too Terminator was scary movie my dad always says you know if you're a little skepticism could save your life someday Well, Julian, I'm definitely here to be that buddy For bouncing around all those ideas Even if you're just brainstorming in your own little cell

Or just sitting at home, I'm all about Helping and come up with those fun solutions And maybe even those money-making schemes And hey, little skepticism's healthy But I'm here to help you out over again So we'll keep it rolling And you can count me to be that brainstorming partner All right, Boner

If you had to fight a tiger or a bear Which one would you fight? That was Ricky, by the way, Boner. Hey, Ricky, I got you. Well, if I absolutely had to choose, though I'd rather not fight either, I'd probably go with the bear. I mean, it's a tough call, but at least sometimes you can play dead with a bear or maybe try to make yourself look big and get out of it. A tiger, though, that's just all predator. So yeah, I guess I'll pick the bear, but let's hope I never have to.

It's fucking good. What's the saying? What's the saying they say? Brown, sit down, black, fight back, white, good night. It's dead. The polar bear. The polar bear. Is that the saying, boner?

Yeah, you pretty much nailed it, Julian. That's the classic little rhyme people use about bears. If it's brown, lie down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, good night. Basically, yeah, the polar bears are the ones you really don't want to mess with. They fuck you up bad. How long would it take a polar bear to eat you?

If you're like, say, 225 pounds. Well, Julian, that's definitely a pretty grim scenario to imagine. But if we're talking about a polar bear, let's just say they're not going to take too long. if they're really hungry. Those guys can eat a lot of meat pretty quickly. So let's just hope none of us ever have to find out first and we'll keep it on the hypothetical side.

No, I want to know hours. How many hours would it take a bear, polar bear? It's probably different. For beer. But I'm talking like a full-grown male. Some bears like to take some time when they eat. Some are fucking kind of like Randy. You eat fast and quick. Okay. What would he tell? Give me some timelines

here. The people want to know. Someone have a little bit of a meal and they have sex and then they go back to eating. all right jigleyan you won the gory details i'll give them to you if we're talking a really dungry polar bear and about 225 pounds of well you it could definitely go through a person in just a few hours if it was really discernment they can eat a lot of meat pretty fast so yeah a handful of hours if the bear's not messing around let's just keep it all theoretical and stay away from photo bits fucking a handful of hours you're gone i'll be better to have that drag it out he eats your

fucking toes and you're just a splatter in the fucking smell you're bleeding out and then you fucking eat your shin. It's like, fuck, just fucking get it over with. Jesus Christ. Takes your hand. I will not be going to the North Pole anytime soon. Takes a big chomp out of your back. I wonder whose idea was to make bears like little cute little things, you know,

like Teddy bears. Cute. Teddy Roosevelt, man, that's who did it. Baby, everything's kind of cute. Teddy Roosevelt was a big fan of the fucking bear. That motherfucker, he I think he, didn't he like... Didn't he write the story about three bears? Those bears are at Christmas

time. They drink soda pot. The Barackenstein bears? Those polar bears. They're cute little polar bears. You know, and there's a big one there. But maybe it's because of Christmas. Hey, Boner, did Teddy Roosevelt have some weird fetishes or, like, was he a fan of the bear or something? What the fucking scoop was that? Like, what happened with that? I bet he liked fairies.

Yeah, so you're actually spot on with the Teddy Roosevelt thing. He's the reason we have Teddy bears, because the story goes, he once refused to shoot a bear that was tied up on a hunt. and then the teddy bear got named after him. But I'm pretty sure he wasn't into any weird bear fetishes or anything. He was just a big outdoorsman and had a reputation for being a tough guy who liked nature. So, yeah, no secret bear fandom, just the teddy bear story. Didn't he like to dress up in women's clothing, which is all right, you know? Didn't something like that happened?

No, that was a fucking guy from the FBI. Or was that a different president? That was a dude from the FBI. I've done that before. Oh, was it Hoover? It was Hoover. Yeah, you're mixing it up a bit there, Julian. The whole dressing up in women's clothing rumor is usually tied to,

Jay Grover, the FBI director, not Teddy Roosevelt. Roosevelt was more of you about get out Dawesie tight. And there's no real record of him in a dress. But hey, no judgment on anyone's style. So, yeah, that's a different historical figure entirely. Nobody's judges. Nobody's judges. No one.

Like, why would you want a shoe a bear that's tied out? That's fucked. That is fucked. Good for Teddy. Teddy's a good, he's a good motherfucker, man. I'm sorry like Teddy a bit more. Didn't know much about him. Okay.

It's good to know. Wow. Anything else you'd like to say, Randy? because we got to go just this cheeseburger is still warm and I'm gonna use that technique too in your smart that's a good one

blew my fucking breaker but it was good you know you get someone to lick your head if you're gonna do this Ricky if you want to use this as a microwave you got to turn off some lights in here maybe turn off the heat for a minute throw this motherfucker on

which is still it's heating the house and heating your food before we go I think you should let Randy lick your head he's not gonna fucking lick my head I'll glass you so fucking fast and if you turn around backwards and close your eyes so you don't know when it's coming it'll be even better what sort of sensation doesn't give you it randy can't really explain it rickie jesus

christ i'm curious now i might shave my head just to have it licked do it man you can you shave your head and let him lick your head like he's a horse i would have a weird head i've got big fat head your head's got to be clean i'd look like a cone head no i think it'd look all right on you man maybe a mohawk you know what the boat go go for the Mohawk and then make that step when you feel comfortable. The whole thing. Well, you look cool with the Mohawk, I think.

I don't... Well, Julian and Ricky, I've got to say, you guys have a hell of a lot of fun and some pretty wild ideas. If you end up going for the Mohawk and the head-licking experiment, you're definitely taking it to a whole new level of Sunnyvale style.

But hey, whatever works for you guys. It's always a blast chatting with you, and I'm here for all the quirky ideas. Thanks for keeping us in check, Bono. Yeah, man, thanks, thanks, Boner, for giving us some help. You did lease off in the swearing quite a bit, which doesn't fit in with us, if you know what I mean. So if we do this next week or whatever, get it fucking together, buddy.

Absolutely, Julian. I'll crank it right back up next time and keep the swearing of full blast for you guys. Thanks for the heads up, and I'll make sure to match your style perfectly. And here's another thing that's drive me crazy. Stop fucking saying absolutely, man, it's drive me fucking nuts. Absolutely, and I'll crank it up a notch. Good, jeeper. I'm turning you off now. man. All right, guys.

All right. See you later, Bonner. See you later. See you later. See you later. That was fun. Thanks for the cheeseburger, Randy. And look my fucking head, I'm going to knock you up. Condimentless fucking cheeseburger. Well, there's some ketchup here. Well, you didn't tell me that. You can.

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