Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 26 - The Dumb Side Of The Moon

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

Where the f**k are the cheeseburgers, Randy? Right in his friggin' grease locker! Maybe the Boys can feast on nutmeg, deep-fried egg nuggets, and an ancient Big Mac instead? There's also cosmic space facts, an aggressive squirrel, and a greasy hot flash!

Weekly episodes now on Trailer Prep Boys Plus. Who's gonna do it? Who's gonna do it? I'm way too big. But I'm happy. Okay, that's good. But I just don't want to do it. Cheers, Julie.

You're not supposed to cheers us. You know what? You know what I'm trying to change? The first thing I want to say to him is, fuck this. Yeah, we'll say, fuck you. But I held back. I'm trying to be nicer to one, man. All right, welcome to the park after the dark.

We are freshly 10. watered. Watered down. I think you're a better farmer these days after smoking that. Jesus, man. Well, it is that time of year. It was a long time. You know what?

Crops have been harvested. Crops have been dried. Since I hadn't seen you guys in a while, I was trying, like, I got baked once like a few weeks ago. I couldn't do it because the only person I was hanging around was the fucking boner, man. My phone buddy. Who's not really real.

I know. That's the thing. You sit there, you start talking, having these deep conversations with the motherfucker and he just starts freaking out. Can't do it, man. Has Bona ever got high? No. I asked him if he was possible. I actually asked him like, can you please pretend

like you're like 7 out of 10 bait while talking to me right now. Randy, you might get something out of this. Dear, but Senior Burger? I have not, Ricky. It's a fucking quarter pounder with cheese from the 90s. Senior?

That's the name of the burger. Senior burger. Oh, okay. These fucking guys ordered a quarter pounder with cheese in the 90s. Couldn't finish it. They had two of them. So a buddy saved one of the quarter pounders and he still has it. In the freezer?

No. No. No, it's never been in the fridge. And it's still looking good. No mold. No smell. It still looks pretty similar. 30 years ago.

Oh, so they were fucking throwing the chemicals in like 30 years ago. I thought this was like a new thing. No. So the patty is like hard as a rock now. But it still looks like a quarter pounder with cheese. the cheese still looks like cheese there's no mold you know what i guarantee you put that in like a little dish of some water you know get hydrated a bit you throw in the microwave it tastes the same it's well it's it's mexican beef right mexican beef is probably keeps better imagine beef what the

fucking you're talking about the fucking mean mexican beef seigneur burger seigneur is mexican isn't it bought in the state somewhere well or actually it was bought in australia what but anyway i know mexico got good beef. How much would you pay for that burger? I'd have to get it tested. It doesn't sound like it's 30 years. Something like you should have on your shelf somewhere maybe, no? It's like a trophy. Yeah, that might make a good trophy. Do you know there was two other names for the Big Mac before it was the Big Mac

and they were both fucked? Three buns? What? Well, they got the bun in the middle. Isn't that the name of your mother? Ricky. She got one in the front. That's a good one, man. I totally get it. We're talking about Big Macs and how they have three buns. They've got the middle bun, but there's no sesame seeds on it in the middle.

How do they make that middle bun? The same as the bottom fucking bun, is it? No, no, the bottom's got the bottom. This has just got part of the bottom and the top, so it's... It's like... It's like... You know what? That's right. It doesn't have a bottom on the fucking little bun.

It's flat. No, it's a confusing layer. And I still don't give a fuck. I think it absorbs some of the grease and sauce. Okay, where the fuck are the cheeseburgers, man? I ate them. You brought us cheeseburgers last time. Yeah, I was hungry, guys.

I ate them on the way. Great. So now we just starve? Well, it's probably because of your kicking dope. So what the fuck kind of bread are they using if it doesn't mold after 30 years? It's not really bread. Yeastless. It can't be.

It's not bad. Because bread goes pretty moldy, pretty quick. Probably has no yeast. It's not like your mama, that's for sure. That's a double whammy. Your brother's getting taken out today. Who gives a fuck about a burger bun, man? Really, Jesus.

Well, what was the other name of the Big Mass? Oh, yeah, you didn't tell us. I got to go back to this guy. It's not because I have feelings for him, Ricky. Oh, man. I bet you they were going to call it. All right, Boner. Mick something.

Shut the fuck up, Brady. Boner, Boner. what was the original two names of the Big Mac Is he clicking now? All right, here you go, had two names It was first called the Aristocrat And then the Blue Ribbon burger All right, that's enough

You know what I thought it was? I would have guessed the Blue Moon Blue Ribbons even worse than the fucking It's weird Because it kind of looks like it Well, there's PAPS blue ribbon beer Which is pretty good, PBR But Big Mac?

What the fuck? Like people who are thinking, okay, it's got booze in it. Yeah, that's a weird one him the aristocrat like what were the strip club I'm glad they figured that one oh I don't even know what this is a

fucking great scam this man fakes blindness for 50 years collects over a million dollars in benefits wow that's a commitment right there man that's crazy suppose a work accident and then they finally came they took them 50 years to come to their census but they're like

something not right with this guy's fucking paperwork how much they followed him around for a month and he's fucking going to grocery stores and picking out perfect fruits. He's working in his garden with power tools. They're like, okay. Gags out, bud. So, anyway, he just got arrested last week

for fraud. He should have got a gate or something. Fifty fucking years he pulled it off. How much was he making a year do you think? What was he doing? I needed more info on the scan. It's just benefits he got. But a million bucks, I guess isn't a lot over 50 years. It's only

what, 20 grand a year or something? I'll fucking take it. You know, he's doing something else on a I was He was Italian He was French So it's you know Euros That's you know what

And the stress man You're doing that every fucking day You're in public You're basically just walking With the cane flicking it around You can see perfectly 20 grand a year Yeah

And then you know People would always open the door for you Hopefully So then you know Yeah See I like where his brain goes To a lazy spot You know what I mean

Yeah you could stare At different things and you wouldn't be rude. I don't have to use the energy to open up the door myself. I'm going to get someone else to do it. You could sweat people with your cane. Oh, sorry.

If someone was being addicted, you could just crack them and you know exactly where they are because you can see them. You're lucky I'm baked right now, Randy. I would have just dove into you there, man. All right, let's go on to something else we got. Me or you?

You go. Whatever, man, no. People more creative in the shower. Wow. It's because of the hot water on your testicles. I'm very, very creative in the shower. Hot water on your testicles. It makes them to hang down lower because the heat.

What do you mean? What do you mean more creative in the shower? The fuck does that mean? I can just different fantasies. I can sing better in the shower for some reason. I think about food in the shower a lot. I bet you do. You know what I think about it in shower?

Shower and getting the fuck out. Yeah, see, I take my time. No, man. You, you sound like not of what's his name, man. Oh, who's that? Uh-oh. Is that boner texting you? No, boner doesn't text me.

Thank you. All right, here's the good one. I didn't know this, and this is kind of wild. I'd like for you to experiment, actually. Experiment. Nutmeg is a hallucinogen. Really? It contains something.

It's a natural compound that is mind-altering effects. How do you get that going? Large doses. Oh, fuck. So you'd have to eat a lot of nutmeg. It's not a grateful tasting. Isn't that Nutella?

Nutella's Nutmeggy. I wonder if you'd get the same thing for that shit. I don't think Intel's Nutmeg. And I was joking. Nutmeg you put an eggnog or something. I would like to see how much Nutella you could eat, though. That would be fucking amazing. I like to fucking eat a gallon of it.

Would you do that to get baked, though? Like a real, well, hallucinate. The next time we'll have a party, I'll get a fucking bucket of nutmeg, and we'll have it at it and see what happens. Awesome. I'm kind of excited now. What the fuck? Let's see, let's open this book randomly.

It says Saturn would float on water. What? Yep. Because it's at the rain. It's a gas giant, I guess. No, it's the rings around it. The rings around Saturn. The planet is less dense than water.

It's what there is. If you could find a pool big enough to fit the entire planet, Saturn would float happily on top. How big is it? Saturn? Yeah. It's fucking pretty big, man. It's bigger than Earth, isn't it?

You know what I... Okay, I think this is a fact. Fucking, uh, the moon. I can tell you're making this out. No, man, the moon is as wide as Australia. Okay. You throw that up in there? That's what you're looking at, man.

Basically Australia. All right. I'd buy that. Shaved it. Australian's pretty big. I've been there. This course is fucking shit. It's a planet, Randy.

I mean, it's a moon. Why did they ever say that the moon was cheese and a cow jumped over the moon? What? Don't you remember that? Yeah, man. It's whether we care about it or not, Randy. That's what I'm trying to figure out. I'd like a cheese.

All right, this is one for you. How many pleats in a chef's hat? Depends on the hat, Julie. Like, somehow. hats are different. I bet it doesn't. It's the ones you fucking see, man, that that get up. Oh gosh. Take a guess.

Just 18. I think they're all got 25, maybe. 25? 100. It's the stupid dumbest reason ever. A hundred. You know why it's 100? Because of French. No, because apparently it's meant to represent the hundred ways you can cook an egg.

100? A hundred. Eight ways to cook an egg. A hundred? Who counts that? And I'm sure. we can think of more than 100 to cook an egg yes yeah you can think of three or four cheeseburger omelet do they have cooking on radiator you could boil it you could fry the don't air on it side that would definitely cook an egg you just list a hundred different things and calling an omelet can you deep fry an egg randy sure you can i've never done that you can

you can deep fry everything sounds fucked like well that would be interesting but it's true i mean you know people if you could batter an egg deep fried it's tough i guess you could You could do that, man. You could batter it with flour, right? And you dip that. Yeah. And then you dip it in crumbs. Egg roll eggs.

Throw it in a fire. There are 101 ways to cook an egg. So I bet that wasn't the worst. Floured and deep fried. Floured bread it and deep fried. Maybe put some panco on there. Blow torched. Salt pepper.

Use your car exhaust. Egg nuggets. There you go. Fried egg nuggets. Yeah, fuck Starbucks and their egg bites. Okay, moving on. Okay, there's a lot going on here, but it's a lot to read. This is about this aggressive squirrel.

I need to go to fucking San Francisco and take care of this little problem. There's a little cock sucker that he's been attacking people. He's already sent five people to the ER. Who has? This little squirrel in San Francisco. What the fuck is he? Comes in nowhere and fucking dives at your head and you land on your arms and your legs and gosh the fuck out of it. Does that have rabies?

No, squirrels don't carry it. Squirrels are big right there. Like our squirrels are little tiny squirrels. Well, this is a little tiny cock, sock. No, the further west you go, the bigger than it. I know. I know about that. But this is a little guy. I saw a picture of him. He's a fucking little bastard.

He should get a measuring tape because I'm telling you. I don't go down there with, I don't even know what I'd use. Probably some kind of big army gun. It's probably because he was teased as a little baby, I think. You know what? Because if you're nice to squirrels, they'll be nice to you, but someone probably was spitting on them. They don't know what nice is. They actually think, you're right.

They think that he was raised by humans and that now he wants to fucking kill them all for some reason. Right. I guess they weren't nice to him. Exactly. Some people are freaking dickweeds. Well, he shouldn't be taken out on it. They can turn on you, man. Wild animals can turn on you at any time.

I've never liked them. There's been many people eaten by bears that they... Bears. I'm talking about a squirrel. I know, but I'm just saying. That's just another... Squirrel and a bear. Two different animals.

Cougars and shit. Like, look at those two fuck. those two guys I got attacked in the circus or whatever. Steve French. With those lions and stuff, buddy got man. Talking about the fucking magician guys? Yeah. Sigmund and Truitt.

They knew those guys. You don't fuck with wild animals, man. And don't get them Viagra either because they get really horny on the Viagra. Like Steve French, remember? He banged freaking Trevor. I don't know if you actually. I don't know if he banged him. I don't think we're right in there, man.

Eat those burgers off the growth. I was making a vaqrager. Viagga burgers. His little lipstick came out. I know that, but I don't know if it went in anything. It's a lipstick. You don't mess around. I don't know.

That's what they call it on a dog company. Wow. Wow, this is amazing. Google Images. You know that shit on the computer? No. Google, you go to Google and you press up at the other tab images. No, I didn't know that.

Okay. That's a thing anyway. It was created after Jennifer Lopez wore that infamous dress at the Grammys. and it was nice don't remember it the uh it was green like someone

remembers this shit with her what oh the thing with no straps yeah it was just so because of that dress now we can fucking click on any image

and find it what the fuck it is and where to buy Google images yeah that was great because so many people were trying to find it wow because it was a nice dress

so is that how it works you can click on anything now and find it where to get it yeah man I didn't know that Well, you can do that. I don't know if this is the same thing.

That's a country. What? No, I don't... I don't know if Google images is the same thing as what you're talking about. You click on it and you want to buy something or pick it up. I think that's a totally different thing. Has that been invented? Yes, man.

That is invented. You take a picture of something saying find the fucking thing. I want to buy it. He has a boner, man. He could find anything. Don't wake him up. What? So don't wake him up.

No, he's not. I'm out waking off. I don't know why I wrote down this story. I must have been really baked. It's just about this elderly French man in the 70s. He was riding his bike home from the store. Fucking tumbled down this embankment, landed in a ravine. It was really steep, so he couldn't get the fuck out of there.

But luckily he had a couple bottles of wine in his backpack. So for three days, he was stuck in this ravine, drinking wine. Not a bad way to fucking... You know what? I told you. To your rescue? The who? He was rescued after three days wasted.

You know what? I lost it, man. I zoned right out. I have no idea what you just said. Perfect. Because it wasn't that exciting. The French liked their wine, though. Actually, Ricky, I think they drink it with every meal.

The French liked their wine. They do, Julie. I mean, it's... They drink it like water, man. I think the kids were drinking out of, like, many... Six or something. Yeah, the French and the Italians, they do like their wine. I mean...

And the Spanish. And the Portuguese. I guess everybody likes wine. That was a good plan. It probably saved his life. Napa Valley. Napa Valley. Yeah, that's a nice place, man.

I was there, bud. Are the French people the first people to start deep frying things? No, I think that's a miss-up. French fries, right? Yeah, I think it was in Belgium. Haven't they been cooking in fucking olive oil for thousands of years now? 2,000 years or something?

Really? I didn't know that. It's because it's good for your bowels helps them move properly. Olive oil? I think so. That's why the French, they poop a lot, very regular. They're olives common in France? Well, I think they just get them. I thought it was more of an Italian thing.

Well, they're connected. What's connecting? By land, you just get it chipped in. They trade their wine for olives. Land chips. Yeah. I can't handle him anymore, man. No, it's not.

My faces are run out with him. Why do we... Why was he invited? I was supposed to bring cheeseburgers, but I ate them. Oh, right. What the fuck is wrong with your face, man? Stop doing that. I'm all.

I'm feeling off. You didn't bring food. You're still here. Are you having a hot flash? I'm feeling hot. My body's going through changes. You're in menopause? What's that?

You don't need you, like, having a heart attack or something because it's going to be a more than a coin flip to figure out I'm just gonna help you out. I'm not helping him. Definitely. I'll call the mouth but I'm not touching them. I'm feeling good. I was just a little high from here. Have some fucking chips.

It's the best thing for your heart, man. There you go. Fuck Randy. Dill Picnell. These smell really dilly. Well, they are. A dill pickle. They're good. Best thing to take when you're having a heart attack?

A couple chips. Dill pickled chips with extra flavor dust. Why is he even here right now? I don't want to have to look over. He didn't bring food. For some reason he's still allowed to stay. It's bullshit.

I feel like doing something, maybe making some money brainstorm some ideas. I look over at this dill pickle eating fucking heart attack dickhead. I'm okay now, guys. Don't worry about me. We'll bring a little life to this, okay?

Buzz Aldrin, happily, claims to be the first man to pee on the moon and is in his suit. I guess, yeah, he'd have to piss his pants, really. There's no fucking fly in a space suit, guarantee it. Cool. Do you got to shove a catheter in as an astronaut?

Nah, they would probably just let it go, man. Because then it'd be floated. He'd pissed himself. Yeah? It's the only way you could do it. That's the only way you're doing it, man. Well, Mr. Lady said pissed her, but it's dry, so... I wonder if it

if it ran at the bottom of his pant leg. No man, no gravity So piss would float Do things dry in space? Or does it just always stay in like a Little bubble all the time Doesn't dry, it just stays I don't think there'd be a whole lot of evaporation

It's gonna be a rush of oxygen Come fucking hitting the moon so it can land on the ground No Randy It's gonna float around It'll probably end up It freeze number one But if it floated past a sun ray The sun ray would probably be super hot or something

Wouldn't it or solar flare? Get a fucking sun at it I don't know Randy it's like a moon desert they're like guys because it gets hot doesn't it like on the sunny side of the moon it's real hot and then on the other side dark so long all right you know what I was gonna do this fuck he's got to come out because his brain is fucking hurting mine hey Boner how hard is it on the moon on the right side of it right over to a bit of lunar trivia her all right Julian on the sunny side of the moon it can get pretty damn hot like around 250 degrees Fahrenheit

or 120 degrees Celsius okay so it would evaporate quite quickly if the piss dribblet was frozen his face floating hot all right if you had a piss dribblet floating around in the moon how long would it take to evaporate in the moon that little piss dribblet would actually vanish pretty quickly with no atmosphere and that blazing sunlight on the bright side there you go just sublimate or evaporate in probably a matter of moment. So, yeah, your moon dribbler would be gone before you know it. There you go. What about the dark side?

What about the dark side? What kind of temperature are we talking about there? Yeah, so on the dark side of the mid and, well, more accurately, the night side, it gets super cold. We're talking like minus 250 degrees fan height, which is about minus 150 degrees Celsius. So if you had a dribblet of anything there, we're pretty much freeze solid in no time. Nice. You could make ice in probably like a second.

you just if you're on the sunny side oh man you couldn't because it would evaporate on the sun the fuck is up in the dark side of the moon think i'm gonna make ice right now what the fuck is wrong with your brain randy well i don't know jesus fuck man you got you are fucked agreed

i just don't understand it how they can make a space suit that repels 250 degrees like what the freak they got in that suit you have no idea it can do both you can fucking cool you and it can heat you up. If you want a spacewalk, because one side of your body is fucking freezing, one side's too hot.

It's pretty... They should use that technology. Pretty good technology. We talked to Mr. Hadfield about it all. In a grill or whatever, you know? He's one smart cock sucker. Holy shit. He's a smart fucking guy. I wish he would not enjoy being around

you right now. No. That's not true. Discussions. He did get mad at me when I asked him if the Earth was flat. Yeah, he did not like that one. He didn't want to talk about. it but then he had to because he was fucking flying it's only flat he's like i've been around the god damn it's only flat on the prairie guys and then it gets curvy after that how many times did he go to space three i more than that he became a surgeon so he could go back to

space which is insane yeah you know where i can go back bud you got to become a surgeon all right i guess i'll throw that i'll do that right now that to my resume he must be real smart he's probably as smart as 10 of you more yeah maybe more a hundred I bet you I could teach him a couple things no nothing not everyone knows everything

he does he can always learn that's what Mr. Lay taught me that's well you it's good for you to keep learning for sure you're at about a great four or five level you know say when you say I'll be back in a jiffy yeah that's an fucking unit of time a jiffy one one hundredth of a second is a jiffy so jiffy

like who's doing anything in a jiffy pop's full shit they're not popping their corn one one hundredth of a second yeah bullshit jiffy lube's a different thing it's probably they're definitely not changing oil that quite either they're full shit I'm suing them what can move in a jiffy hummingbird okay yeah they're fast and a humming how many how many how bet. Like, what the fuck is happening to this? See, Julian, you can't depend on technology. Like, what if your battery died?

Then you'd be... Technology and drugs are not a great combination. No. No. Right, I'm proving it right now. I don't know. I think... I think... I don't even know what you're trying to do but you're definitely fucking up.

All right, Bonner, what can it actually move in a jiffy? It's actually kind of a thing just a really short moment, like a split second in everyday talk. In some fields, like physics or computing, a jiffy can actually have a defined length, like a fraction of a second. But basically, if you're moving in a jiffy, you're moving really damn

fast. The flash. The flash can move. They're popping in a jiffy. Yeah, I can't see it. The actual pop is a jiffy. So it's not how long it's when you first throw it on the stove. All right, fuck. It doesn't. You've got to wait for the pop

and that's popping in a jiffy. Wow. I wish I had some jiffy pop. I wonder if anybody else has had this discussion on earth. Can't imagine. I would eat some jiffy pop right now. I'd eat anything because you forgot to bring food, you son of a bitch. You want some chips?

It's not the same as a cheeseburger, is it? No. You can't hum if you hold your nose. Sure you can't. I'm not trying to do it. No, someone else's got to do it. It's more like a grunt. Say it or sounds like a way.

So your hum comes out of your nose? I sound the same Just muted You sound like a Yeah you can't So your hum fucking comes out of your nose I did not know that That was a nice piece to do you

That's a good one I bet you there's people Trying right now We should all do it right now No I'm like I did it And realized that your hum Comes out of your fucking nose I had no idea

Didn't know this one This is fucked up Oh Pigs can't look up into the sky I knew that They also can't fly Of course they can't Can't fly man

But what do you mean that you know how do you know they can't look up in the sky have you what their necks what if they really are on their back and they're rolling in they can look down they can't look up yeah they're spine man and neck muscles limits their movement the ultimate neck is the swan talked about it many times you love to have one of those necks you can't man the king owns all those fucking birds yeah what pretty selfish those blue herons got a good neck I had a pet her in once No, yeah, the bird

Ricky blue heron Yeah, I know Yeah They can Nice to feed it macro Really? Yeah Man

I can't be You know what? I gotta go I gotta fucking leave Pelicans got good next No I'm sure they do And they look kind of like a dinosaur Like on the wall there Ricky

I don't know if there's a Teradac But they look like a dinosaur I like pelicans Okay Do you know if you eat them, they taste fishy, so you shouldn't eat them. You've eaten a fucking pelican. I haven't.

I just talked to somebody who was hungry. Who the fuck do you know that ate a pelican? Pelican arrest. Well, I was doing some work down in Florida. Anyway, long time. What colors the pelican meat? Do they have white meat and dark meat? I didn't ask that.

Pelican wings? I mean, they eat mainly fish, I think. So that's probably why they taste fishy. Oh, fuck, Randy. But yeah, they're cool. All right, you know what? We just got to go. We're just done.

I can't. No, he's done. All right, thanks, guys. See you next week. Are you allowed to end it? Yep. We just did. Are you good?

Yeah. Cheers, guys. Cheers, cheers. Until next time. Wow. Hopefully Randy won't be with us. All right, get out of here, Randy. That'd not of you, but.

Can I finish my drink first? No, man. Take it with you. New episodes every week on Trailer Park, Plus. Subscribe now.