Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 28 - Frozen As F**k

Episode Date: December 9, 2025

Get high with Ricky and Julian and take a trip (in a heated helicopter) to the tippy top of the planet of the Earth, the Arctic! They also discuss giant spiders, high clouds, and words that got all f**ked up. Plus: Why is baseball such a f**karound?!

Weekly episodes now on Trail of Prep Boys Plus. Okay. Welcome in and to the perk after the dark. Wow. Week two of being super baked. It's been one of those missions. Super baked after dark. You know what?

I got to tell you, man. The way you operate fucking amazes me. What I just wouldn't just happen over there, like over the last five minutes was fucking amazing, don't you? What was the amazing part? All right. So you're getting a bottle toke ready. You had the cigarette in the bottle.

You were holding on to that. One-handed. You did two or three hot knives on the stove. As you were smoking a water bomb, and then during that whole time, you managed to roll up a joint, come over here and smoke it with me. Like, that's, I don't know, how'd what you're a machine for? How are you functioning right now? I feel pretty good.

It's a lack of sleep. So maybe I'm like to sleep. Maybe I'm higher than usual, I guess, for this time of day. But I think I can do this. I got this. I'm good. I know. I'm not worried about.

I'm okay. Me. Not you, man. I'm worried about you too. Like I'm, this is, this is, uh, I didn't want to do this. But after seeing what you were doing over there, it was like, well, I thought I inspired you Kind of man

But I think it was the I don't know A joint took my fucking head off My voice has changed And maybe it was the other shit to take it off Like it's like right Like it's fucked Horsy

I think I have a lung whistle Yeah No I'm good Yeah Too much smoke Smoke Do a little A little tube

Oh maybe in a bit okay what are we doing here I don't know man all right this hey how are you guys doing this perk after dark

what's up who are you Julian man and you are Ricky right on all right what are we talking about

you know what there's not a lot there's a lot going on in the world but there's not enough fucked up shit going on in the world right now. There's a ton of fucked up shit. I know, but the people weren't fucking writing about it, I guess.

Like the, I don't know. Yeah. I know usually we have a bunch of stories and shit. But holy fuck, man. I agree. I didn't come up with much. I might have to start talking about the Arctic. The Arctic?

The Arctic, man. Why? There's a lot of shit. People get wrong about their Arctic, including me. A lot of shit. Oh, man. It's just where those only... Get Lurt fucking times.

People got to learn shit, man. About the Arctic? Who gives a fuck about the Arctic? The Arctic. It's up north, man. They're kind of cool. Okay. I like polar bears. Okay.

And I feel bad that we're fucking melting all over their ice and they're dying. Well, I don't know. I didn't... You know what? We got it totally wrong about this place. Okay, so they're not dying? No, but you know what the problem is? I bet there's some good fish

ice fishing. When I'm thinking about the Arctic like salmon and shit natural. Yeah, man. So that firm

bullshit. Oh, it's good fucking salmon up there. Okay, so what do I need to know about the Arctic?

I remember flying over the Arctic and I'm thinking, we're flying over the Arctic instead of flying over the Pacific Ocean because there's nowhere to land in the Pacific Ocean. That was one of our

people that did not want to fly over the ocean. If we landed in the fucking Arctic, We're not going to live. You might. I never got that. Hey.

Anyway, that's all I know about the Arctic. I know it's cold. I know it's at the top of the world. I don't know if I give a fuck. Well, I'm going to fucking teach you some shit about it, man. It's too cold to go there, so I don't care. All right. Okay.

How many people do you think live up in the Arctic? I don't know, but in my opinion, they're all out of their minds. I'm happy to Okay, tell me, okay, this is one thing you're going to definitely get wrong. How many people are living... 14. 14 fucking people. See?

You know what? I guarantee you there's a lot of the highest fuck people out there right now that are probably saying, yeah, there's probably 14 or maybe 100, 200. Or anti-Aarctic duck. That's, you are thinking about the Antarctic.

Okay, so in the Arctic? But up there, you know how many people live in the north? What's consider the Arctic? Okay, see, that's another part of both. How far north we got to go. You're going right up to the fucking top of the earth, the tippy top? The tippy top? See,

the, Antarctica, right? Yeah. That's a big, fucking mass of land right at the tippy bottom. Correct. Okay, it's huge. Is the Arctic land or is just ice? See, I'm getting to it, man. Okay.

At the tippy top of where we live, man, it's all water surrounded by fucking land. That's the big difference. What? Yeah, man. There's a lot of water up there, surround there's more water like it's not frozen it's fucking as frozen as fuck okay i was gonna say so it's ice not water i'm talking the tippy top man no it's cold as fuck okay i thought but it's the

difference is the exact opposite ends all right i'm sorry i'm starting to follow okay so when we when we're thinking about us living in in you know the north pole's right up there we're yeah we're just thinking about we don't own it all man okay we got a big chunk of it up there but on the other side that's where the fucking shit happens who owns that Russia okay fucking Finland you know yeah yeah 4 million people live in the

in the Arctic 4 fucking million wow that's a lot of people that's a lot who would have fucking thought like I don't know any better I guess you're thinking Santa Claus man like all this little fucking else and shit for half the year yeah it does most the year

20 yeah they'd no not maybe summer for that's it that's a light out for oh yeah they get the 24 hours of daylight 24 hours is yeah see that alone would make me go out of my dark dark i think i couldn't do it i guess you're used to it wow they party the daylight i guess but purdy i'd have to block out my fucking windows you have an all day like it's bright outside day boiler kind of thing all day sleep because you wouldn't want to miss anything you don't you don't know sleep when the fucking sun when that disappears i don't think i'm

i don't think i'm an arctic kind of person i don't think that i'm either man But cheers to all those that do it. Four million. I'm not done. I would have thought maybe, I was going to see like $5,000, $10,000. Yeah, $4 million. I was not thinking that. Yeah.

But I don't know where the cutoff line is. Well, I did have more fucking, you know what, they get into this whole, you know, who fucking definitely discovered the North Pole. Because there's a bunch of other people. Santa Claus. Oh, man. Ricky.

He fucking, like, seriously. Is that where your brain went to? Well, why would he live there and run the place if he didn't fucking discover it? Oh, right. Yeah, man. Fucking Jesus Christ. Yeah. Yeah, no, there's a couple dudes that were like, they were in a race to fucking see who gets there first. And this guy finally gets in up there and he's coming back.

She's like, yeah, guess what? I'm the fucking guy. And then his buddy who was racing him was like, I did that about a year ago, dude. How did they know they were at the talk? They were, they're fucking sailors, man. Does your compass start working?

I forget how, something else. I don't know. They got that shit figured out, man. All right. They used the fucking sun. When you get there, your compass just, when you get right in the middle, the compass just starts doing this, I think.

Is that what happens? You win. That's the compass doing that. I guess. It doesn't know where to point because it's far fucking north as you can get. So it's pointing south again, but then it doesn't move back.

Man, you know what? You gotta get on videotape. If you're ever up in the North Pole with a compass, fucking high as far. But I'd love to be. Looking at the thing going crazy. If I could take a heated helicopter just to that spot. You can get heated helicopters, man.

Well, I would, I would do that. I'd get out for five minutes. What the fuck? I would smoke a joint. I would have a drink, maybe a shotgun. I'd have to fire a. a gun off, wouldn't I? Oh, fuck. Yeah, man. And then I take it with my trusty little Woods compass and see if it does a spinnerama. It's just confusion. I don't know where I am. I don't know where to

point. You know what? I feel bad for the compass. At that point, you're so confused. You should not move anywhere. You should stay where you're at, man, because you will be lost for good. you wouldn't have a fucking clue like what the fuck would you eat holy shit man snow bugs there's no snow bugs man there's got to be something to eat

but they do say that you know penguins up there I know they have them on the fucking South Pole uh not the South Pole it's an anti-Arctic guy you know what I don't know if there is penguin there's a lot of

birds, man. From there up north. Fucking share the wealth. Oh, you can see penguins in the Arctic. Oh, there you go. There's a fucking nice being right there. Just a sec. You see tons of penguins.

What? I wonder if penguin tastes like chicken. You're not fine polar bears in the southern fucking atmosphere. They don't got to deal with those fucking big and early motherfuckers. They should ship some of them down there. You will see tons of penguins.

Well, there's how you fucking survive. We'll see a lot of polar bears. Penguins are on a rotisserie. But definitely no. penguins. No penguins up there. Fuck. There goes that whole rotissary theory. All right. I can't remember

fucking cartoons and shit. Do people eat penguins? But wasn't there like cartoons? Penguins? The fucking Santa fucking around with penguins? Serfs up? I don't know. That was a different movie. Fuck. No. Yeah, maybe.

I don't know where that penguin came from. I forget. I like that movie. I don't think it had interview clips. It had nothing to do with Santa Claus, right? Uh, no. There was no Santa Claus that's what I'm trying to say, man. I would put a whole different spin on it. But did somebody fuck up at some point and put a fucking penguin

in playing with fucking Santa Claus? I don't know. I remember a snowman. You know what I mean? There was a snowman for sure. It could have been a fucking train as well. Like a talking train. I remember a train. The Tom Hanks movie. There was a train.

Was there penguins? There was a fucking penguins in that movie wasn't there there was elves fuck it was definitely Santa I don't remember a penguin no I'd have to go out on a limb and say there was no penguin I think it's worth fucking Googling no okay there I'm sure there was a Christmas movie the fucking penguin in I think so man coming up with it I remember lots of fucking reindeer or was I think of the penguin from fucking Batman That motherfucker. He was in a Christmas movie?

Don't know. Maybe. I'd love that would be, yeah, I'd watch it. I guess. It'd be weird, but. Unless it was that Santa with the machine guns. Oh, wow, man. Jesus, fuck.

Are you still looking at Arctic? No, man, I'm done. You know what? Okay. What are you, oh, my geezing about now? It's just, I didn't know. There's some words that started. it off as like you know nice words and then through time they turn into not so nice words like fuck

all right let me think about that one started as a nice romantic word did it i don't know i'm just guessing no man i don't think no i'm talking here's a word hey baby you want to fuck no homely homely home that started off as a nice word homely homely bound you're If you've ever wondered while your grandmother calls someone a homely with a smile, while the rest of the... I never wondered. Everybody winces. Never gave a fuck.

Me, no. Come on, dude. What do you mean it was a nice word? How's a fucking... All right, all right. It used to be warm, welcoming, and made you feel comfortable. What does it mean now? Remind it you of home when you said, you're homely.

You reminded me of... Well, it depends on what home you come from, really. You're homely. It just means you're lazy as fuck when you stay in your house. What does it mean now? Homely. I think homely means not put together. Not, great.

You're not put together. You're fucking, you look like shit. Okay. You know what I mean? Okay, homie. And then, yeah, then it turned into homie, which is like, hey, what's up, my homie? Yeah, not put together.

All right, here's another one. All right. Awful. That was a good word at one time. See, I find that. confusion it's awful it's full of awe think about it uh full it's full of awe he's awful like he's tough to turn around at this point what what was that how did you say that man it was i was trying to say awful like positive but it's okay i do that again oh man oh man

you're you're awful see I don't know I can't do it I can't be positive with that word no man it doesn't sound like a it's not a positive it's not a positive and it's someone making this shit up

doesn't sound these facts no man these are fucking legit shit man there it's all right we've got some look it up it says all right here's one

Nimrod that used to be a good thing this is that used to be a good thing thing. Wow. Nymnod? He was actually a legendary hunter in the Bible. Nim was? Then, you know how the word got fucked over? This is going to freak you out. Okay. Bugs Bunny. They used the term sarcastically and completely flipped the meaning of the name on its head. Like totally. The memory of the bugs would call someone in the new...

Yeah, that's silly Wabbit. Who was that, dude? Elmer Fudge. Oh, yeah. Okay. Wasn't it? Yeah, you didn't get it. I'm sorry.

I'm second guessing everything. It's Elmer. It is Elmer Fudd. Oh. You fucking Nimrod. So let's fuck or sabotage that word. They did, man. Poor Nim.

Bland. So it was Nim and then Rod's his last name? Or was it? It's just Nimrod. Your fucking Nimrod. It used to be. It's quite a handle. Yeah, it used to mean, yeah, what's the fuck this?

The hunter. I think it was just Nim. No, Nimrod. One word. One name. So he had one, like Madonna. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

All right. So yeah, yeah. So, okay, here's no one. Bland. Eh. Yeah. Something's bland. It's not, you know.

It has no fucking flavor. Yeah. It's like your mother. Actually, that would be a compliment. Oh, my God. Man. okay so yeah past salt

well you know what they get back to fucking bland how was that good word okay believe or not bland was once to compliment it meant gentle soothing and not overwhelming now if you call someone

someone's cooking bland it tastes like shit it's like no fucking taste go back to the one that's weird man bland that's a fuck that okay this is one

this is weird silly Yeah I'm a silly of bad though Really? You silly Motherfucker What do you mean?

See it's not really silly Yeah It's the bad It's like it Okay Used to mean blessed or fortunate Right Used to be a compliment

If you're silly Still compliment If you're silly Silly's cool That's what I'm saying man That's not It doesn't mean that shit It's now means acting goofy

Yeah Hey, you know what? Fuck these guys. You can be silly, man. Silly's not a bad thing. Fuck off. Fuck those goofy, silly bastards. Oh, we have a bonus word.

Oh. Okay. Okay. We win the bonus? Well, it's not... Okay. Terrific. Yeah?

That used to be something not so good, man. used to mean terrifying it's what terrified that storm was terrific used to mean that storm was a fucking nightmare oh I could see that

yeah yeah terrific it's complimenting the storm well job well done good jobs yeah no no no no that's no man

it's meaning it's not a well done job thing it's terrifying the shit out of you did a good one you were a fucking shit in yourself Hurricane. Terrified, man. Terrific storm. Dad, that made you shit yourself because you were fucking terrified.

All right. I don't know. Terrific? Yeah, I can see that one. With this buzz on, I get it. Yeah, yeah. A little bit. All right, we are moving on.

Ricardo. I was reading about this fucking spider web they found in this cave. It's on the border of the Greek Albin. border. This fucking spider web is over 1,100 square feet.

Fuck off. Yep. It is home to over 100,000 spiders. Whoa. Imagine walking that fucking thing. Whoa, that's like a trampoline, man. Like a huge net. And they also found it's two different kinds of spiders. Living harmoniously.

Is that a word? Yeah, man. Which is unusual. Normally spiders kill the fuck of each other. But no. These motherfuckers are like, hey, I won't fuck with you if you don't fuck the bean let's kill a bunch of bugs together that's a lot of fucking spiders

man are they like dangerous no they're just pussy ass everyday little hanging in the web eating bugs well that's really a good thing I still don't want to fucking go walking into them

oh you think they're going to bite you I hate walking on a web but then the worst is when you walk into a web and then you feel something moving around you go Yeah, I'm not a big fan of the spiders. Remember that you eat? Remember every we want a tube in that time? And you're coming up to these fucking trees.

We were tuning in? Tobin, going down the tubes, right? Yeah. Drunk. What happened? You come up to these trees that are hanging over and you're like, oh, yeah, this is going to be cool. And you're like, holy fuck, gigantic spider webs and spiders. Man, not cool. I'm not into spiders, man.

I'm not a big fan. I'm not a fan at all, actually. Like if someone says, hey, check out my... Fucking turned purple, man. It was weird. Yeah, I got bit a few times. Poised. Yeah.

Yeah. Fuckers. I put a towel in my head, and I was like, what the fuck was that? Took the towel off, fucking spider fucking hops off my face on the ground. Bit you? Big, yeah, bit me, man. Fuckers. And, you know, people, like, we're dealing with these fucking things.

Like, I could have lived, you know, could have died. Oh, another country, man. We would be fucked. I'd be dead. Spider. Trachula. Tranchola. Black widow.

Oh, black widow. Yeah, Jesus. Fuck that, man. We got those motherfuckers here. Which ones? Black widows. Yeah, we do, don't we? Yep.

Holy fuck. They'll take down a fucking backhoe. He'll take down a backhoe. What do you mean? I just mean they can take down some. big shit. So I was trying to think of heavy machinery. But what can they take down?

Like a moose? Is that what you're saying? I think they can. They're deadly, man. Oh, that's a fucking, that's a deadly name to have much for a reason. It means you kill. Black Widow.

Wow. Holy shit. See, this is, this story is something that could be going on with you right now. Is it about a buzz on? No. Well, yeah. It started off with the buzz on.

Hit me. This guy, this dude, he lives with a functional cigarette lighter in his stomach for 30 years. What do you mean functional? Like a bick in the gut. How do they know it's functional? Because when they got it out, they went to flick my bick and the thing lit up. That's fucked up.

That's fucked up. It's good for Bick. You'd think the stomach acid and shit. It will. It melted it. It did melt it quite a bit. like it's it's pretty gross 30 years

30 years yeah he was at a party getting drunk he said hey they dared him and he's like fuck you guys he did it he was so wasted he forgot he did it and they reminded him

I wonder how something didn't shit it out he thought he did wait a second what do you mean he thought he thought he thought that he definitely thought that I mean the guy he's probably

he's probably an alcoholic man you think he'd be checking Well, he's taking dumps and he's not, like, going through them with a fine tooth comb kind of thing. You don't have to need a fine tooth comb. What I'm just saying, he's probably... Should be a little edge sticking out or something. He's... The guy was probably wasted, okay?

I don't know. I don't know his shitting cycle. I get a fucking bicklet or a tiny bit wet, it doesn't work. This fucking thing comes out of a stomach? They must have dried it out or something. Oh, man. Well, they probably let a fucking dry out and let all that shit that was growing on. die man that is yeah that's fucked up

it's very fucked up would you ever no okay good answer good good what was it I was just thinking of you you know with your all you're working out and stuff would you consider yourself like an influencer

oh man I've considered myself a business man okay well this fucking one influencer he was over in Russia I feel bad for this son of a bitch He's an incredible shape He's like you know what I've come up with this new weight loss routine So to prove it

I'm gonna gain A bunch of weight And then I'm gonna lose it Jesus Christ Kind of a cool idea Except he died Fuck Put on 30 pounds in a month

And this fucking diet killed him 30 pounds What was he eating? Just like Like fucking pastries And half a cake for breakfast Jesus man What was the lunch

I forget now He's over 10,000 calories a day is that a lot that's a fucking lot yeah that's a ton man especially if it's two pounds two pounds of progues drenched in mayo was his lunches

Jesus Christ and then hamburgers and two pizzas for dinner yeah he would and then chips and all kinds of shit for snacking I thought 10,000 calories was a lot that's a lot what he'd be a fucking good time though wouldn't it he's yeah

fuck but I don't know man he's you know what he wasn't that bright to do that show. No, heart failure. Like, what the fuck you're doing? The body's like, we're in great shape. What are you doing, bud? Yeah, your heart's going to say, fuck you, bud.

That's just too much. You should have did it more gradual. 30 pounds in a month is a fuck ton. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. I think lots of people do it. Don't know.

Don't actors do that? Gain weight. De Niro did, didn't he? He had 35 pounds or something? Fuck. You could have died. Like, how the fuck, boys? Anyway, don't do that

No, man, no No I did have a fucking story there That's probably going to go Poof Into the high cloud Whoa Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

That's what we need What do we need? The high cloud, not I cloud You know what? I don't know what it would be good for I feel like I'm in it right now The high cloud That's got to exist

Somebody definitely came up with that man probably I'm gonna look it up because you know what definitely have a monthly feed you to that high cloud oh man my phone just doesn't matter everything's in the high cloud yeah

high clouds you can only access it when you're baked high cloud yeah high clouds yeah I know I've got a S there okay and it's yeah they look like they know what they're doing

man okay fuck Yeah, I don't really have much know-how on the computer programming. Fuck, you know what? You know what show I started watching? The Yellowstone one. How is it?

There's a lot of fucking shit going on in that family. Oh, yeah? Yeah, man. Like, good shit? Like, we think we got a lot of bullshit going on in park every now and then? No, man. What a fucking... It makes me not want to, like, you know, make that kind of money.

Does it make you want to be a cowboy? No, man. Well, no, man. But, you know, I could, I could. Sort of? Maybe a little bit. Are you going to start wearing a cowboy hat? No, man.

Get some boots. No, man. Jesus gross. You're going to buy a horse? No, you know what? I would like to fucking get on a horse. Right around. Looks like fun, man.

You can ride a horse. I know. I want to get on the horse. You should buy a horse. We should buy a horse. fucking horses we should get horses fuck cars fuck cars horses and wagons

you know what I bet you could deck out a fucking wagon pretty good I want to race horse that would race me around man I want to pass cars and say fuck you you know what you should try bull riding you think yeah man I bet you'd be able to do that shit I think I could do it I know you can do it I'd have to have a bit of a buzz on

yeah because that would give me the confidence and I just go out there all squeam-y-eye. You're hanging all with one fucking hand. And I could just... Come on. I can communicate with the animal and say, bud, let's go put on a show.

Me and you, we're going to get through this. Yeah. I don't know if that'll work, but... This is a fucked-up little thing that I was reading when I was baked earlier. All right?

You know baseball games, right? Yeah. They fucking play less than 20 minutes of actual game action. That's it. Baseball? It takes three fucking hours. And there's only...

Three minutes. Less than 20 minutes. Well, fuck. ...of action. I thought it was more than that. Yeah, me too. There's a lot of fucking around, though. There is a lot of fucking around.

Come on out, changing up the fucking pitchers and... Yeah, now they got this new pitch clock and shit, which is good. It speeds it up a little bit. But fuck. yeah that's crazy you know what they're gonna the bitch is do they have like a little buzzer that goes off a little timer beep

get the fuck out of there well they have a big pitch clock now yeah so pitch has got a oh yeah yeah there is a much does speed up the game which is good I think oh yeah because they used to especially there's somebody on baseball and like you know he's going to steal a base

and what the fuck do I know about baseball real no man doesn't matter okay all right now I got it to it though I was into it there everybody was into it yeah that was crazy we didn't even talk about that shit that was crazy man they came so fucking close it was awesome well I think

that's it man where did we go from here do we call it do we keep going keep going I don't know it's a weird day it's just start but is it just starting yeah to yesterday end No. All right, let's do it. Yesterday is it today now. It's today now. We're heard. It's a new day.

Let's just have some fun, man. Stop worrying about it. I'm out of drinks. No, you're not. We should eat. Let's just fucking end this, man. Oh, yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ.

Okay, we're going to say goodbye. All right. Cheers, everybody. Love you guys. Cyanera, as they say somewhere, I think. Yeah. River Dier Tree. Vibababit? I don't know, man.

New episodes every week on Trailer Park Boys Plus. Subscribe now.