Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 29 - Randy The Roadie

Episode Date: December 9, 2024

Start spreading the news, the Boys are leaving today... to get f**ked up in New York, New York at the Shitrockers movie fan screening! At least they saved $8 on their sh*tty flights to buy some (good kind) chicken fingers. But will Ricky make it across the border? Also: Bad news bananas, radiation nipple hats, and why Randy's about to get fired!

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to Swearnet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys Swearnet app. So how much sleep did we get this time? I didn't, I don't, I'm not calculating. I don't think, I don't think we, did we sleep? We didn't sleep, was I dreaming we were sleeping? I got less this time than I did the time before. We gotta fuck, pump the brakes boys,

we got two more nights, we gotta get on the plane to New York here shortly, you're coming. Yes, I'm in New York City. Why the fuck didn't we fly from Toronto to New York instead of- Fuck fuck up big fuck up Who fucked that up? Like do you think I have time to be on a plane and in airports? No We could have went right Toronto was last night. Fantastic. Thanks everybody who came out. Yeah, that was fucking awesome But it was it was like eight dollars cheaper to fly Toronto to here and then here to Toronto to here and then here to New York.

Eight bucks. Eight bucks is all they were saving. The movie people that have us doing this. Fucks sake. I would have fucking gotten him out making eight bucks. He could make eight bucks in four minutes. And it's bad enough, the stress you deal with when you have to fucking cross the border

and go through customs with Ricky. I know, but now Ricky went on the tour bus with the Helix cover band. Oh, so, okay, yeah, we found Ricky. He went from the party here when we did the Halifax thing, he went missing, we got a fucking call from this- Ricky. From some Julio Rodriguez. Was it another Rodriguez.

It was a... He stole a phone and he's like, yeah, I'm with a cover band for Helix and I'm on the road. Tribute, not a cover band. It's not even a tribute band. Okay, a tribute band. They dress up like them. So we're going to meet, hopefully, Ricky in New York. Ricky's crossing the border, land border, on a bus with a bunch of drugs.

He's probably going to US jail We are going to New York shortly, which is exciting. I think we're having a screening tonight with the fans and Times Square Times Square that night ball comes down. Yes We're doing that. I think it's I forget the theater, but it's in Times Square all the info. We have all the info there All right. We're doing a Q and A apparently. A Q and A. Yes. I don't know.

What are they called, Live Out in the Street? No, in the theater. We're gonna do a thing and then we're gonna show the movie. Microphone maybe? Yes, you'll have a microphone. You'll have a fucking, what are you, no, we're not gonna give one. You're gonna have to yell and scream to people.

Yell in the theater. Fucking answers. Why are you so angry? Because I got jet lag. I got something lag, man. I don't know what the fuck's going on. I think we're doing another one tomorrow night. Down in like the village or something. Anyway, the info will be here when we have it.

Okay. Is this fucking theater in New York, is it a licensed event? I think you're allowed to have liquor. Jesus. I'm gonna get a cheeseburger pizza. The New York pizza's famous. A cheeseburger pizza? Yep.

In New York. Randy, just don't worry about your next burger, for fuck's sake. But it's different because it's on the pizza. You know what? I can never spend as much time as I had with this guy ever again. No, I know. It's been a lot. Julian, I've had fun with you.

Fucking three fucking weeks with you, man, and your smell and your stupid stories. I started working out. Because of you, Julian. It's not working out for you yet, Randy, but everything that comes out of your mouth. Give us a power flex, Randy. Not bad, Randy. This is Julian, I've been working out on the road.

Look at the fucking, what's that, a delt? A tricep. Tricep. Tricep. Delts are up above that. Where's the delt at? Right there. That's hurt. That one, the front that. Where's the delt at? Right there. That's hurt.

That one, the front, the middle, and the back one. Oh yeah. That is delt right there. What's this here? That's his pecs, man. I can wiggle mine. Check out the abs. Can you do that?

I wouldn't want to. Look at the brachialis. The what? That thing right there, that muscle right there. Listen to the fucking science, muscle scientist over here. I read shit about this stuff, Bob, so I read about it, okay? That's how you learn. You jerk off to it.

I don't fucking jerk off to it, man. Although there is a lot of beautiful women out there, bodybuilding and stuff, and they're all beautiful. All right. All right. Okay, let's get this fucking show on the road, man. Cheers, Julian. Fuck off.

Cheers, lads. I'll cheers you, Randy. Cheers, man. There, you did sort of cheers them through me. Here, do it again. Watch this. Cheers. Cheers.

I know what you're doing. Just... Kind of like, you know, one of those balls called where you do them and they hit and they swing. Swingy balls. I bet you him and Lee have a bunch of stories with the swinging balls thing. Julian don't talk. You guys didn't used to do that like smacking balls together. Would Leahy like, would you squat down on his face you need to go right on his nose?

Why don't talk about Mr. Leahy like that. Mom, he would probably, if he was here I would be saying that to him. If he was here, I would be saying that to him. Mr. Leahy, I think Mr. Leahy would actually be proud of you, Bubs. Because, you know what? Starting a band is hard. And you did it. I know Mr. Leahy would be proud of me. I mean, he'd still be drunk and try to fucking ruin it on me, but he'd be proud of me. No, Mr. Leahy liked music.

He loved music. He did, yeah. He would like the shit rockers, I think. I think he'd really like the shit rockers. He'd like to go hang out at the fucking Legion when we were playing and get fucking right out of her. Well, he said that Billy Bob was one of his favorite actors. Well, I bet he was. Yeah.

Brad Pitt. Brad Pitt's one of my favorite actors. Can you imagine if Leahy was, he would be trying to pick up Billy like every night if he was on tour with you guys. I loved it. Fucking guy over here. A river runs through us. Yeah. Yeah. Great movies. So what are we gonna do? We got anything crazy planned? Well, for what, New York? Yeah. I'm hitting something, I'm going on a major pub run, man. I'm gonna hit every fucking bar in town. It's the city. Every bar in New York City, there's only about 7,000.

City that doesn't sleep, Julian. That's what I'm saying, nor will I. Who's the guy that sung that? What? I'm gonna wake up in the city that doesn't sleep. I'm gonna be up in the city that doesn't sleep. I'm gonna be a number one. Top of the list. Jesus, what'd you just do?

Something. Keep going. King of the old way. Big Kahuna. He's. What is it? What's that? Blues, what blues?

Fuck, Jesus. What a way to ruin a good fucking tune. I don't remember. You know what I liked back then? Dean Martin. He knew how to carry a drink. Dean Martin was drunk a lot. He did a lot of drinking. You know what?

He was good. I can't, I mean, bad form though. He got too drunk sometimes. He was pretty lit up a lot of the time. He could have paced himself. He very easily could have went into the lay he landed. Jackie Gleason was funny. Jackie Gleason was funny. Jackie Gleason was very funny. I'm gonna start watching Jackie.

Imagine back then, man, those guys were fucking cool because they all, they would, they'd love to have the drinks up, man. Oh, they didn't give a fuck. Sinatra. They'd get up to do their fucking, you know, their show and they'd be all fucking legged up, smoking cigarettes right on the stage. Yeah, Sammy Davis, he had the fucking drinks going, man. Sammy Davis Jr.? He was a cool motherfucker. So his dad was senior, I guess, probably.

Wonder if Snoop knew who Sammy Davis, those two. Look, they were both like dudes, man. Snoop wouldn't know Sammy Davis Jr. Was he dead? Like, when'd he die? Sammy Davis? Snoop wouldn't have known him, I don't think. Maybe. He might have met him. Oh, man, they're as cool as fuck.

They both remind me, like, the cool guys. Yeah, babe. Yeah, man. He was fucking cool. No, you said, nah, nah, nah, nah. All right, we got to have some stories here. Okay, well, you know what? These people are stupid. There's this Well, you know what these people are stupid There's this fucking this see these guys these teachers. They're in Russia

this blogger Trick these fucking teachers all kinds of them dozens man. Yeah put on tinfoil hats To protect them against radiation from NATO satellites So look at these look at these fucking idiots, man. Like, this is something Ricky, I envision Ricky doing this to people. Because that looks like a hat that Ricky's, he's made lots of those hats. You make these hats.

That's gonna protect you from radiation. Teachers, these people are teaching kids. Are they supposed to look like nipple hats? Yes. The guy at this blocker is like, and they've got the little flags going, look at me, I'm as dumb as fuck. Wow. Dumb people.

Very dumb, man. So, you know something? The time is the same as here as New York, right? No. It's one hour difference. So we get an extra hour to party. Yes we do. Oh, that's gonna be awesome.

It's an hour earlier in New York, so we'll go back in time a little bit. So we have like 25 hours. But where do you go? Where do you go? Well, what's the place? How do we know the best spot? What the fuck is he talking about, Randy? Every place is the best spot? What? What are you talking about Randy?

Every place is the best spot in New York man. We're gonna party after the premiere right? Yeah. But where are we gonna go? Well we don't know yet Randy I'm researching. It's the fucking burn that we're going to. You don't have to worry about it because you're not gonna be with us. I'm gonna be there.

Not with us. You can come to the fucking stupid premiere. You can come to the be with us. I'm gonna be there. Not with us. You can come to the fucking stupid premiere. Julian, he can come to the bar with us. He's not coming to the bar with us, man. He can, he's my roadie. Randy Roadie. That's right. I'm the manager, you're off duty.

You're not coming to work. You're not the manager of my band. Certainly am the manager of your band. And what happened to the receipts you were supposed to get at the doors when you were on that fucking tour? That was not my responsibility.. And what happened to the receipts you were supposed to get at the doors when you were on that fucking tour? That was not my responsibility. My responsibility... Oh, your responsibility is give me the receipts with the money. I didn't get any of this.

I sold burgers and... Well, no, actually, Randy, the roadie, you were supposed to be looking after the door receipts. Roadies don't do accounting. They certainly do. And as the manager, you're officially fired as roadie of the fucking shit rockers. Not fired. So get a job. Let's not get in a fight, shall we? I'm just saying, that was a lot.

How much money did you guys make, you figure? There was a lot of expenses, I know. Liquor. How many different currencies now? But I didn't pay for that. That was Waylon. So you're blaming us on Waylon? Waylon probably has everything accounted for.

There was a lot of expenses anyway, Julian. Why do you get Doran suits? Because I'm the guy that set up the whole fucking tour. I get something. You didn't set up the Billy Bob Thornton tour. I kinda did. No, you didn't. I thought that the call came on the supervisor phone.

It did, that was all. Who do you think called him and said, call that phone? No, It did? That was all. Anything called him and said, called that phone. No, that guy said he was looking for, he came to find bubbles through the supervisor. He saw it anyway. The bottom line is, you fucked up. You're fired.

But he probably even heard that we were winners at one time of the IATPDPSAATPS award. I don't give a fuck about that. The International Association of Jail Park Supervise and Assistant Jail Park Supervise Julian. What the fuck does that have to do with being a roadie and being responsible and making sure you get the money back to the manager? Good point, Randy.

If you did that to Leahy, you'd be the fuck out of there. If you lost all that money, all those lot fees, same difference, man. I got a fucking pinched nerve. From the guitar? I think it might be. From the guitar. Want me to stretch it out for you? No, you'll pull me off, fucking pull my arm off like a stretch arm strong. I just envisioned that, me pulling fucking yanky arm out.

Just, I wouldn't let somebody as muscular as you fucking pull on me. I could rip me open like a chicken wing. I could not do that, man. Then you'd be sucking the meat off my skeleton. I like hot chicken wings myself. They're good. All right, what's your favorite fucking- See how his brain works?

It's just the lowest probably fucking denominator. Okay, we're gonna feed into it. What's your favorite chicken out of all the chicken joints? I like, you know what? I like the wing chicken more than the drumstick, cause I don't know. That's not the question. No, I like the drumstick. I like the skin that's on there.

That wasn't the question. Where's your favorite chicken? Where's your favorite chicken place? Oh, gee, I don't have, I can't really. He doesn't really eat a lot of chicken. I'm talking, like for wings, I like it when they make the wings and it's their specialty. Like it's like a, you know, a mom and pops sauce.

What's your favorite sauce on a wing, Randy? I like hot sauce and I like the, even that sweet honey garlic or sweet with the honey and the hot. Oh yeah, a little bit of heat and sweet, you know? I like that. And sometimes when you dip it in that cheese sauce, that's good too, blue cheese,

but you gotta brush your teeth after. Because, you know, you don't want cheese sauce. There's just one little squirrel running around. Yeah, it's food. You know what, this is not a cooking show or a cooking fucking food review show either, okay? What's your favorite, Jeff? If you were gonna get the best chicken burger

you could have right now, where would you go? I don't fucking know, man. I like, you know what? I'll fuck over a Swiss L.A. chicken burger. You know, it's all meat. Harvey's is nice. Swiss L.A. Harvey's is great.

I might get a fucking Harvey's chicken burger later today. Might get a cheeseburger there, man, they're good. We should be sponsored by Harvey's. We can. They could have Harvey's here. I do like Harvey's Burgers. I do. Alright, this is a story here that reminds me, I mean, this is

this happened to Ricky. Woman who heard animal noises under her fucking house had naked men live in there Remember when Ricky did that was living underneath the what's-her-faces. Yes, what's margaret margaret? For fucking a week. Yeah Just thought it was an animal I thought it was Ricky spying on her and that it got all creamed weird and stupid were like no

It's Ricky were talking he was drunk and high in all the classrooms. It's probably better than a skunk though, because if a skunk was under there, came out and spray you with the skunk stuff. Well, I'm sure Ricky was probably pretty gassy under that fucking- Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk, Randy? No, I run.

Every time I've seen a skunk, I run. Opposite direction, like for a skunk. Well, you know what? You must have room Bumped into a bunch of other skunks cuz there's many times you've smelled like fucking skunk. Yeah bad I like that Pepe Le Pew skunk He was an asshole. No, he was always happy Who the fuck likes Pepe Le Pew? Pepe Le Pew was an asshole motherfucker, man. He was romantic. He wasn't romanticist He predicted all the kissing.

Yeah. He was a creep job man. Mon cherie. He was a stinky fucking creep job. Stinky little creep. He liked kitties too, bubs. No he didn't. Yes he did.

Well no, when it accidentally got a stripe painted down its back, he thought it was a skunk. The way I remember it. That's what he thought, the cat was a skunk. The way I remember it. That's what he thought? The cat was a skunk? Well, it would always walk under a fucking thing where the paint in the roller would go down the cat's back and Peppy would see the white stripe. I missed that part. I thought he just liked keys. Is that where the white stripes got their name?

Maybe. They're like skunks? I don't think so. White stripes? White, er, you know, what's his name? Jack White? I know Jack Black. Holy fuck.

This is a fuck story you don't... If you're... Swedish... Swedish minister's bizarre banana phobia makes international news headlines. The guy's afraid of bananas. They're like chocolate. How... why? How? Maybe someone rammed one up his arse one time or something. Well the truth of the matter is that bananas, when they used to ship them from wherever they grew,

if the ship would sink, all the bananas would float to the top. So nobody wanted to take bananas around because they're bad luck. You're not even allowed bananas on a lot of boats. Check it out, this is true. Why, what? Because it's a bad luck thing. Over the arctic, oh, you're so fucking dumb. They're not shooting bananas by tankers?

Yep, well they are now, but people are still scared about it. What would happen in the old days with bananas? If you got into a storm and went down, all the bananas on the boat and the cargo would float to the top. So the fucking watermelons and the cantaloupes and fucking... What would that matter if you already sank? Who gives a fuck where the bananas were? But it's like a lot of banana boats sank.

Oh, you know why? Because of the spiders and termites and the bananas. They ate through the boat and they ate the wood I wish I had a big one of those big things bananas and just started belting but that's what happened I'm in the banana wasn't the bananas fault But they were perfect hiding places for critters that ate the boat and then you go out it would sing Yeah, free them right up. I'm tired I like fucking spiders would have to be hiding

to eat through a boat, right? Especially a super fucking liner. Well, if all you're doing is calling bananas back and forth, that's what you do. You're the banana man. You know what? This is a show to try to teach people something, but what you're doing is confusing the fuck.

I'm telling you, you ain't talking a wooden boat or a steel super tank. When I was working construction in Florida, and I was down at the marinas, you'd see signs and it would say no bananas when you're going out for a tour. I don't fucking believe that. What are you talking about, Randy? There's no fucking thing about a banana.

No one's gonna give a, I'm sure you're not allowed to take them for your fucking lunch. Well, no, well, you're not even supposed to have them in your belly. Anyway, I like eating bananas because of potassium, and I think it's good for your hair. So that's why I like them. Okay, great.

Wow, man. Holy fuck, this is gonna freak you out, Bobs. This story here is fucked. Robot manufacturer has 12 robots kidnapped from showroom by another robot. See? It's like I'm taking you guys away. The thing tricked them into having to leave

because we're done our duty. Artificial intelligence, Julian, that's what that is. It's fucked up, man. They have it all on video, this happening. Yeah, it's starting. It's fucking starting, man. The AIs are starting to teach each other how to fucking take over the fucking place.

I like the robots on Star Wars. They're pretty good though, those ones. Which? Well there's the bartender ones. They know how to make a good drink and you know. You're so fucked up, Randy. Some of them are musicians even. Ah, yeah.

Those aren't robots. Those are aliens. Those are aliens. And they're actors in a lot of those fucking things, you nymnod. There's a nurse robot, remember, looked after the little Yoda fella. That wasn't a robot, was it? Yeah, this was a fucking robot.

R2-D2's a robot. Yes. And C3PO, CP-103 is what Ricky calls him. I always kill this next stop, and he calls him R-D2-D. I fucking miss Ricky, man. Why'd he have to be with those dicks? I know.

Is he gonna shave that fucking beard off or is he still growing it? I think it's still gonna be on there. I like the beard, I think he looks good with it. I know you do. Beards very masculine. Yours is nice too, Julian. You look good. Randy, that's, please, you know what?

Shoo. I'm turning you off. Oh, he put the four shield up. The shield's up. It's up there. Don't talk to me. Where did the shields come from? Was it Star Trek?

Shut the fuck up, Randy. Shoo. Star Trek was the first shields? Shields up, shields up, yeah. I thought it was Vikings. Oh my God. Two different kinds of Shields, Randy. Vikings?

Obviously. The Vikings would have done it. Weren't they the first Shields? Probably, Randy. Probably. Because they just went into towns and took what they wanted. Pillaged. I wish they'd come in and pillage you.

I wish, you know, Randy would like to get pillaged by the Viking, believe me. What I don't get is what would they do? Like if you wanted to buy some food, you just take like a silver glass and say, there you go, bud. What? Like the pill, like what do you, like.

A pillage? They just don't take shit, man. They're pillaging the fucking place. If they all that village stuff and they went into the churches and took stuff and they just were like All right, you know, I want a skin jacket and take this It's like a hash coin probably I guess What do you are you saying the stuff they stole they used it as currency didn't they? With who they would just they would just steal it it as currency? Didn't they? With who? They would just take-

They would just steal it from everybody. They wouldn't be paying for anything. They're not shopping like going to fucking Mic Mac ball and picking up a few things. They're killing you and they're fucking taking shit. But then you get a buy from other Vikings, you know? No. No, they would steal from each other.

They would steal, you're so funny. Oh, that's scary as shit. Unbelievable, man. Four people arrested for using bear suit to fake bear attacks on their vehicles in Claymonshire. I saw that. Did you see that? Yes.

Those dumb mother fuckers. They dressed up as a bear. And they got the claws out and everything. There's a town that has polar bears and you're not allowed to lock your doors. Not even in your car Why? Because if the polar bear chases you you got to jump into the car, you know, sometimes get away That's a real that's not someone with a suit That's a real friggin bear and they're also everybody has to leave their car open in case a stranger's. And doors too. I mean, you might be naked in your living room and someone comes flying in

because there's a bear after the pig. They're hungry, they'll eat ya. Oh, you're fucking right they'll eat ya. Polar bear. The bears don't break into cars. Why are they using bears? This story doesn't make any sense to you. Well, that's how they got caught.

They found the bear suit in the guy's closet. Stupid cocksucker. You should have at least thrown the bear suit away. Probably expensive, though. Bear suit, sir. I gotta go soon. I do, too. I'm getting tired. Is it almost time to go? I mean, we gotta get a flight. We gotta get to the fucking airport.

Are you driving me to the airport? Randy, use your brain. Please. Do you think he's gonna let you in his car? Holy fray, guys. There's a car, they're sending the car for us, Randy. Okay. Fancy type.

Theater people are sending a car for us. You have your own car, I got my own car. It's big time. Are they gonna have a Porta Bar? Or do we have to bring that with us? Obviously we gotta bring it with us, right? Yeah, they're not gonna have a bar set up for you in the back seat of the car.

Why not? It's not a limo. Well, it's our limo. I think I might go to Dairy Queen first. Well, you better get at it. You better get the fuck at it. Just don't get back there and start helping them out and smell like a goddamn fucking onion ring. So if anybody's in New York watching this

and you don't get your tickets for tonight yet, get...I don't even know how you get them, but Times Square Theater. It's exciting because the movie's out, right? Yes. I think people are gonna like it. Square Theater. Just that. It's exciting because the movie's out, right? Yes. I think people are gonna like it. I hope so.

I hope so too, Randy. Yeah. We need the people to like it and go to the movies. Oh yeah, and if there's a link, I don't know if we can put it up, but there's a thing, if you want it in your town, you just gotta fill out the thing at the link there and say we want it in this town,

and if you get enough people, they're gonna put the movie in that town. Really? Yes. I did not fucking know about, so I gotta do some more traveling. Is that what you're saying? No.

Well, possibly. I don't know. That doesn't mean we gotta be there, but they'll show, you know, say you're in fucking... So we might be there, you just gotta take your chances. Say you're in fucking Fargo, North Dakota and you want to have the movie play in your town. It's cold there though. You round up everybody in Fargo and you sign the things to get the fucking movie here and we'll all go to it and they'll put the movie in the theater.

Imagine doing the premiere with Billy Bob with us in Fargo. I bet you that'd freak some people out. We need to get some heaters or hand warmers or something if we're going to Fargo. It's cold. You'd be lucky if you don't end up, if you don't fucking end up not like staying in a snow bank because I'm going to bury you in a snow bank there. I'm going to get a plow.

They wouldn't even be able to put him in a wood chipper in Fargo, he wouldn't fit in. Boys, I've got some edible issues going on right now, so I've got to get the fuck out of here. Like, seriously, can we end this? All right, we'll see you soon, Julian. This is going to be fun. Thanks, everybody.

We'll see you in New York tonight. Hopefully. To watch the video, Park After Dark, go to SwearNut.com or go to the Trailer Park Boys SwearNut app.