Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 32 - Stoned Advice For The Dumb

Episode Date: January 20, 2026

Wowza! Julian's trying to chill this year, but Ricky's got the ragebait. Can he calm down enough to do some new word learning? Julian also comes up with a new idea for the podcast - stoned life coaches! Plus: Zootopia snakes, NFL playoffs, and the family of the dumb!

Weekly episodes now on Trailer Prep Boys Plus. Hmm. That's, yeah, put the fucking thing out, man. Holy shit. Wow. Wausa. It's time to mix up a drink, I think, man. Is Wausa a word? Wauze is a fucking word.

It's got to be. Everybody uses wauza. Okay, good. I'll continue to use it then. It's a second. I don't know if it's in... I'm trying to be a little smarter. for 2026.

Okay. That's a good plan. Tell me something. What's the definition? Smarter's probably not a word either, is it? What? Smart. Smarter?

Smarter. Smarter. It's more smart. I don't know. Or it's smarter. It's more smart. Okay. What's the definition of wowser? Wausa?

Wau. Okay, so wauza. What's the definition? I got to, I can't, you know what? I can't be telling you things that aren't fucking real. So if it's not in the dictionary, then it's not a word, man. Well, it's funny that we're talking about this. Well, how's that?

Anyway, welcome to the park after the dark. I can't believe it's 2026. So far, 2026, we have been irresponsible. Fuck off. No, we haven't. What do you mean? Well, we're just doing what we want. Well, what was the meaning? Just a sec, man.

cut you off. Wowza is an informal explanation of her adjective used to express surprise, amazement, or enthusiastic admiration. Yeah, so wowza is a word, man. U-U-O-W-Z-A. W-O-W-Z-A. All right, that's good to know. Wow, Zah.

You got something right now. I'm used a lot. I'm proud of you, buddy. I've used a lot. So you're saying 2026 should be the year learning shit? Well, we're talking about four. fucking words. The Oxford University

Press, guess what the fucking word of 2025 was? All right. This is, want me to try to guess seriously? No, you'll never get it. Okay. What does it have to do with? Give me a hand to here, man. Word of the

year for 2025 was rage bait. Who's the online content deliberately designed to elicit anger or outrage. That's stupid. Who so? Doesn't this do that?

It does for me a little bit. Me too, man. The fact that that is the word of the year, that's not a good word, man. So maybe they created the word just to create fucking anger about it. I don't know. You know what the word of the year should be right for 2026? What?

Wow. It's already in there, though. I know, but it's the word of the year. I don't know. Okay. You know what I mean? Could be. So this is a made-up fucking thing.

Is that what you're saying? Rage Bates. I think it's a new word that was invented in 2025, and now is the word of the year. When was rage bait? That seems like that's been around, man. It's not one word, really, unless it's... Is it together or a little part?

Iphaminated. Iphanated. Iphanate. No, it's not... Rage bait. Okay, man. We're going to see what's happening with this. I fucking get baited into the rage.

You've always been fucking... Sometimes I'll read something online and I'd get fucking angry. Oxford's Word of the Year in 2025, you're right. Let's go right to that fucking link. Okay, apparently it's anger fuels us. Yep. All right, that's, okay. I guess maybe I like the word.

Rage bait. No, man. Bates me in. No, man. But I get rage bait from drivers, too, so it's not just from online content. You know what? I'm going to chill out. a bit more this year when it comes to the fucking road.

Have you ever tried to beat a road rager? Like intentionally fuck with people? Oh, totally, man. That's kind of like rage beat too, I guess. All right, I'm down with it. Fuck it. I'll use it from time to time. You know what? You know what? There's a guy that lives down the fucking road, down by that firm. That, up at that intersection.

You go, the speed limit's 50. You go 55, the guy's right there. pops out of the fucking bitches and pushes you the double whammy and it's like fucking slow down man you're going 55 you know what I mean like every fucking day I go by there yeah I've stopped sometimes

people are slow down like what's speed limit it's 50 yeah I'm doing fucking 50 like 55 those people that you want to like extra five kilometers is going to do more damage if I hit you and well I mean I think it's because the Monty Carole fucking sounds loud. It sounds like it's going fast, right?

It is a loud vehicle. So when you're fucking, I don't know, man. But people like that, if you don't go to radar, a gun on, you'd like fuck off with giving people the fingers. There were times when people told me it's still down when I'm doing less than the speed limit, when I'm like super baked or some shit? Yeah.

And then I'm extra pissed off. All right, that was a fucking... Okay, well, you know what? Yeah, you're right. It's... Tangent? It's... I almost said transient.

See, you know what? What? Because you mentioned a fucking word like roge bait. What's it called? Roach. Roach. Roach base? What's it called? I'm getting all fucked up. Raged bait. I was thinking road rage and road rage and road rage.

Road bait. Jesus, fuck, buddy. But that's what happens. They fucking get you upset, man. Get you going. So we got to fucking think differently these days. Okay, because I got rage-beated. earlier, I didn't even realize it

but now that I'm looking at this other story, this fucking I got rage baited. Okay, tell what is it? Rage baited. I was rage baited. And that's the problem with people, man. They're getting fucking freaked out and pissed off too much, man.

Chill the fucker. There was a headline about Zootopia 2, which I kind of enjoyed it. Zootopia 2. Yeah. I know you don't watch cartoons, but it was good. What the fuck is Zootopia 2? Are you kidding me right now, man?

What is that? It's a movie. It's a sequel. There's two of them. Yeah, man. It's a fucking, you know, a little bunny cop. No, I don't know a little bunny in a what?

It's a bunny. She's a cop or he's a cop. Suitopia, too. Anyway, in Zootopia, too. That's fucking, doesn't even matter with the goddamn movie. It's been inspiring some Chinese people

to start buying venomous pit vipers because there's a fucking pit viper in the movie named Gary De Snake. Gary De Snake. Is he French? He's a blue Indonesian pit viper. Okay.

And all the fucking people say, oh, I want a blue pit viper. Is it so fucking cute or cool? It's starting to get me a little ragey because, I mean, it can kill you. No kidding. They're pit vipers. So what are they, are people dying because of this stupid thing? They're going to. Because people are buying them like crazy.

They want these blue pit vipers. Like, why? I just get a little plastic one or an an animatronic one. Yeah, that's kind of, it's... See, we should be giving fucking people advice before they do stupid shit. Well, I've been thinking about that because, you know what? The world's pretty fucked, and I think we can help people out, man. Although, maybe people can help me out.

I don't know. Well, maybe it works both ways. See, when you go to try to help somebody and maybe they can flip things around, they end up helping you. It's kind of a weird stone thing. It's like a reverse... Denise be a word for that. That could be the word in 2016.

A reverse help. It's kind of, you don't want to be? It makes sense. But what's it called? Is there a word for that? There's going to be. Reverse help. Okay, there's got to be something.

You know what? If we can figure out that word, we should start our own show, man. Right here, we'll give people. What would it be? Just advice, man, life advice. How do we... Do they send in shit?

They can call in. Maybe they can send in fucking... It'd be nice to some people called, and we've got to figure that out. Chipper. Yes. We've got to fucking figure out that out. We're going to get people to call them. We're going to give them life's advice.

And you know what? You can't just say something like this. Now you're going to have to fucking do it. No, I'm going to do it, man. It sounds like work. 2026 is all about this shit, man. I guess it would be rewarding work. Do we get paid?

No. You know how good you do it. But, okay. Do you know how good you can do you can do conditions. What? I would have to have a buzz on. Obviously. Okay, good.

I'm not giving out advice. I didn't know if it's going to be one of those stupid fucking shows. You can be as high and as drunk as you want in this advice, man. I'm liking this show so far a lot. Okay. What's the other ones? That's it for now. Okay.

Oh, maybe some good snacks. Okay. I think people get pissed off when you're eating. Fuck. Maybe we can give these people advice. Maybe they can call us up. Maybe you can snap them out of it. All right.

You know what I mean? That's the kind of show this could be. We could help people, man, because people are fucked. Life coaches. We've been through it, man. Yeah. Coaches aren't always right, so. Well.

But don't expect to call in and fucking have your life change. Maybe. Maybe you will. Maybe you'll change hours. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Reverse help. They could say, look, boys, that advice is fucked, and it's not going to work.

All right. I'm too big to really come up with it right now. Okay. Reverse help. Reverse help. Ricky and Julian. Maybe we should just call. reverse help.

It's a weird name. All right. We're going to work on that, you guys, but we want to help people out and fucking... And get helped. Because there's a lot of people. You go over to Halifax now, a amount of homeless people and shit,

that might have phones that might want to call up and say, hey, what do I do here? But we don't want to get... It can be simple things. I don't want to get into, like, you know, I don't want to start crying doing this. fucking show. I'm not the guy to fix the homeless problem. I wish it was. Well, yeah. So we don't have answers for everything. No. Well, we might. Maybe that's the name of the show. We don't have

answers for everything. With Ricky and Julian. Okay. I like it. Reverse help. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. That's, I liking that. Oh, man. That was a wave. I wonder if that was like 30 seconds or was it like five minutes. Maybe it was 10 minutes. I have no idea, man. It's hard to keep track of time these days. Well, you know what? That's our new thing.

We're not gonna keep track of time these days. Fuck time. We've got lots of time. Man, I'm still fucking, I'm over from football. Yeah, how'd that go, man? It's been one of those awesome NFL playoffs, but I just don't, I couldn't tell you who's gonna win. Like, there's a lot of good teams this year,

and it's one fucking game. That's what I love about the, NFL. One fucking game. Who do you think? I couldn't even tell you. Really? Nope. Not even maybe for a second. The finals? Who do you think

will be in the finals? There's just so many good fucking teams, man. I don't know. I was always a Bill's fan growing up and then started liking the bucks a little bit. You lived in Boston for a bit so became a Pats fan during the good years. You know how many people you're probably pissing off right now? Flip-flop.

saying no, but that's what I knew. I moved around. Yeah, but you... That's what I like about football. You don't even have to like the teams and you can watch... Okay, so... Fucking enjoy it.

That makes that different than hockey. I'm not to watch two hockey teams I don't like or two baseball teams I don't like, but football, I will just watch because the game is fucking entertaining. All right, man. Anyway, I couldn't tell you who's going to win. I don't know when this year,

so it's hard to say what I know. But I know some things. Okay. Can we put money because of these things that you know on the game or what? The Super Bowl? We will definitely be betting on the Super Bowl. You're in charge because I don't...

It's going to be exciting Super Bowl. Two new teams. Really? Okay. Yeah. I know Casey and Philly are probably sad about that, but it's exciting for a lot of other people. This was sad about the fucking NFL, though. What?

This guy down Florida got drunk out in the shed, watching football. Monday night football. Must have been hammered, I guess. inside, wanted to finish the game inside. His wife said, I don't want to watch fucking football. They got into a huge fight, and he, I shouldn't even say it. I guess it's

so depressing. What happened? He killed her. What? I guess she was shielding her kids from him, and she saved her kids' lives. But, like, why? I don't know. Over a football? That's fucked up. And I didn't listen to all this story because you started fucking, so I'm not that sad.

I probably shouldn't even add all the story. It was kind of very sad. I didn't, I didn't really listen to anything you were saying, except. I'm a hero, I guess. You know what I was thinking about? What? I've fucking heard about this story, but this dude, this older guy, climbs up the, these, the traffic lights,

and you're way up there, man. You know what I mean? They're a good climb, I've done it. He's hanging there, and he's shitting on the cars that are going underneath. Okay, I've not done that. Like, what the fuck is wrong with that guy? I don't know.

I remember doing it once I was young, and then I'm like, fuck, how do I get back down? See, what, this, if that guy was to call us and say, hey, look, I just got fucking busted. I was shitting on cars off of traffic like, you guys give me a hand with this? What would we say to that guy? See, this is where I like

that's... Imagine you're getting processed, going in jail and like, hey, what'd you do? Ah, fuck, I could bust it again. Shitting on cars, climbing up street lights. Okay. What could you tell that, like, dude, don't climb up the lights. I think he should be...

Shit, in the bushes if you got it. Yeah, they'd have to chuck that person out of it. I think there could be some issues there like he's well unless it was drugs I think it's drugs have something to do with it

no one's climbing up a fucking street light and shitting on cars not on drugs man he's definitely I don't climb streetlights but I wasn't shit on cars what kind of a drug that

it's definitely not booze he's not doing that drunk you're drunk you'd be like nah fucking fall off you'd make it halfway up you'd be like fuck that I'm sliding down

no I don't know if it would be bath salts or crystal math or I don't know. You know what? I've never done in either one of those. Get off the fucking drugs, dude. They're not treating you well.

No. Heroin? Shitting up in 30 feet up in the air. What? Could be heroin. Could be. You know, you've got to be a little curious about what it feels like.

You don't, you know what? You always have these fucking conversations with me? No, man. We are, you were fine on the weed in the, in the... Oh, I agree. I will never venture. Mushrooms. Mushrooms, you take a bunch of those

you'll feel like you're on heroin or whatever I bet. Yeah, I'd be afraid It'd just... Maybe not that. I don't know. I'd be, yeah, who may not be a good thing for me to draw. Man, no.

You're not going to fucking try that shit, man. Come on. All right, man, you got anything uplifting? Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, yeah, I told that horrible story. I don't even know how I got into that. Well, here's a good... I don't know if this is a good father story, man.

It's nice. I'll be the judge of that. Okay, too drunk to drive. Father asks, his 12-year-old son to drive the family home. What do you think of that one? I've done it. I've been there.

Depends, like, had the kid driven before? You learn how to drive pretty quickly if you get your family car. I've actually done this. Like, the kid had a bit of experience, you know. If you race golf carts, or I don't know what racing. You get a good...

But, you know, like a good ATV driver or fucking one of those four wheels of the steering wheel. Exactly, man. If you're even a big wheel, you know what I mean? You're not a fool. fucking drive. Polaris slingshot, you know, if you had a bit of experience, I think it's a good decision. He's not, doesn't want to drive

drunk with his kids in the car. I don't know, that's a tough one. But yeah, that is a tough one. But, I mean, was everybody in the car drunk? It was like, they must have been younger than 12. Who gets in trouble in that situation? What's the mom doing? Pasto. She's probably

past her drunk, maybe. I don't know if I want to die. She must have been liquor, too. Who? She must have been liquor, too. She wasn't driving. Like, was she cool with it? Does it say anything about the mom?

No, just a second. Oh, yes, they're blaming it all in the fucking dad. Well, that don't, he could be a fucking raging drunk man. Okay, brother, he did. Okay, he was fucking... I mean, when it comes right down to it, he shouldn't have fucking got drunk, I guess.

Well, he should have been, well, everybody... Or got a fucking cab. Unless it was in a small town that didn't have cabs, then I think, you know what? I think he fucked up. See, whenever I was driving home when I was... I think I was actually nine when I first started driving for the old man when he was getting drunk.

No, it was even before that, man. Holy shit. I started driving when I was six. And you know what? I became a pretty good driver. I mean, I didn't... I don't remember not to speed. I remember being pretty young, moving cars

and into drive was and shit. I didn't hit any drivers. I definitely wasn't six. I'd say it was probably 11. Okay, where the fuck is not talking about the rest of the family in the car, man? Okay, the boy's mother took his place behind the wheel and did what she was supposed to do in the first place. Okay. Oh, no, more complicated.

Dumb. The family of the dumb right there. So there was mummo's in the car. That's a good movie title. The family of the dumb. Like she... Okay, who's going to drive? No, the boy's driving it.

unless the fucking learn that drive he could have been a dickhead so either that or they're just dumb family of the dumb a dad's dick I mean the boy was probably a fucking all excited

oh man it's wicked man driving when you're young though the license nothing better man I got this new chair and I thought it'd be a lot better but it's still

I don't know it's not 100% better yeah I've got one with like two pillows on it man it feels like I'm sliding off the fucking thing. I need like a memory foam fucking a memory phone. Back after dark after dark cushion. You know what?

Actually, I saw that on the show. They do sell these memory phone cushions and put down, and it's about that thick and I get it's the greatest feeling ever, man, just sitting there in that cushion. Does mold to your ass cheeks? Just molds right to it, man. You don't move, you don't squirm. Right now that would be fucking heavenly.

All right. This This fucking guy. This guy's got problems. This fucking guy. All right. Let me hear it. Okay. The Chinese man required surgery to have a live leech removed from his bladder.

Yeah, I think. Don't know what the fuck. He was the wet kind of a... Who would do that? We was talking with something. Fuck, like that before. Putting the leech in the guy's dick. He put it in his piss hole.

Let's see. He put it in his piss hole. I don't know how else you get to your bladder without surgery. Oh, it's leech. slimed its way right to the bladder, man. And latched down and started, like, releasing all these funky shit. What was the purpose? He had an infection or something.

He was pissing fucking five streams or something was going on there. Because leeches are used for some shit. Yeah, maybe it's chlamydia. Maybe he had chlamydia. No, I don't think it's chlamydia. Well, dude might have had it. They suck on, like... And he probably didn't want to go get the swap.

Some kind of laceration, don't they? It was like, I'm putting a leech of my bird. Or maybe it's ulcers. I don't know. I've heard the good... Ulcer's in there. No, not in your bladder. I'm talking about some other leach work. Leach work.

Oh, they used to fucking throw it on people, man, just to suck the blood out of them. All right. Because they had, like, shit. So how did this turn out? Not good. Okay. No, they had to go right in there

and get the motherfucker out of his bladder. It was a lot straight on. So did he put it up? The piss hole. What was he he opened to accomplish? He had something wrong in this block? What, like, I can only think of it this way, but it's reverse.

Today's the day of the reverse. You know when you get like a string in your track pants and you've got to put the string back in? Oh, I hate that. And you've got to leech the thing in there. Yeah. It's like a leeching. Nice work.

So maybe he's, but... Nice use of the word leech. See? It could be... That might be the word of the year, leech. leaching. Yeah. So, did they get the fucking...

He's okay now. I still amissed why he was putting the leech up his pistol. Okay, deeper thacker. Was there a fucking... The life of the leech. Was it for pleasure? Was there a... It's unclear.

Okay. He was a young dude. Okay. Okay. That makes more sense. Five centimeter long, leech. Okay. Okay, so it's not a huge motherfucker.

That's pretty small, actually. Yeah. Okay. It would have to be. He followed online instructions and proceeded to insert the invertebrate into his bladder through the urethra. This resulted in an obstruction in it in his cock. And it made it real fucking painful and impossible to take a piss. I bet it did.

But it didn't remain in the urethra. The thing crawled and leased his miserable little fucking body right into the bladder. Jesus, fuck. And then went in and attached itself to the sensitive. organs and began releasing anticoagulants. That's not good, man. Is it or isn't it? It's not, man. That's not.

That's what he was going for, I guess. What the fuck is the purpose of this? If there's online instructions, it must be a thing. No, man. See, that's why you can't trust everything on fucking line, man. Who would, like, how many people did this? It's the stupidest thing I've ever heard of my life. It could have been.

I'm going to fuck with some humans. I'm going to fuck with, nah. Someone would, they're not. They're not in Terminator fucking mode yet, man, I don't think. They're not going to start killing humans. No, man. Maybe fuck him with them.

I was reading the Exxon Musk. No. Who's the richest guy? Elon. Exxon, you got like an oil company. Elon much. He's saying not to worry about squirrel the money away for retirement anymore.

Why? He's saying within 20 years, AI is what's going to be just an abundance. of everything, everyone's just going to have whatever they want. Jesus Christ. I don't know how... I don't know how true it is, but makes you want to just live every day like at your last, doesn't it? You know what?

We should. Let's take his advice and just fucking do that. Fuck saving money. Fuck it. Well, we don't have a ton anyway. Well, I spent my entire life trying to fucking retire. I think I'm retired right now because I don't give a fuck about money anymore. All right?

All right. We're retired. I hope I feel the same way when I'm... I thought it would feel a lot better than it does. No, and I think I might just lie there. I can't retire, man. What are we retired from? Jesus Christ, just from fucking not trying to find money, man.

I'm not going to retire. Yeah. I don't get much. Retirement's boring. You know what? I'm coming out of retirement. Do it, man. I was retired for...

Two minutes? Two minutes? 17 seconds. I came out of, I came right out of a retirement talk. It took me 10 seconds, man. Oh, fuck. I didn't really have much to talk about.

Let's suck. Let me see what old Julian's got here. American father, who doesn't speak Spanish, his turns fluent whenever he has surgery. What the fuck is going on with that guy? See, if that guy was to call us, can you imagine? Yeah, like, how many services you had?

I wish there was like a certain strain of weed that you could smoke and then you spoke Spanish. Language weed. What's that shit when we were young? The, uh, was it Thai stick? No, not tie stick. Tie stick was pretty fucked up. No, this is the, uh, holy fuck.

Never mind, man, I forget. Was it a type of weed? Yes. Oh, man. Oh, cash. No, that was the hash. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had Mexican...

Mexican red hair, no. Fucking Jesus. There wasn't Hawaiian. Hawaiian? Anyway, it was fantastic, whatever the fuck it was. What was the point? What's the point?

Why? I just made you think of it. My lungs were watering. All right. I wish we had some Mexican, Hawaiian ass there. Fuck, I can't believe. I just can't come up with us. I suck today.

Drugs. Wish we had some cashmere. Oh man, that shit is wonderful. You know what? That stuff scared me. Yeah. We had that back. What were we were 18?

That big chunk that we had. With all the white fleck in it. Which fuck knows what that was. Well, man. I'm not going to tell you what I think it was. From what I've heard. Okay. Okay.

So. I remember watching the movie the sniper. And I was. Whoa. I was with you, man. Yeah. It was fucked up. Especially when they had.

that fucking above following the bullet yeah I was like what's happening right now Jesus Christ I felt like I don't know for parts of it felt like

four hours and other parts it felt like the movie was seven minutes yeah it sure did I wish you had some casering right now I know that's all I'm thinking about

where does that like who's making that shit these days Tommy Berringer I don't know where that came from sniper the fuck What's going on with that dude? I haven't seen him around.

That's a good question. Let's do a deep dive of where are they now? He fucked his face up for that, that fuck. Oh yeah? Well, it's like, yeah, it looks like he went through hell. Scars and shit. That's what I... I like that was a movie, man.

I don't care. All right, you know what? We gotta get going. Do it? Yes. It's time to end this. I've got to, like, do something. Fucking... All right, now we're at retirement. We're out of retirement.

We're going to get back to work. And we're going to come up with that name. It could be called what? Forget. We may not know everything. Not always right. We're not always right. Or reverse help.

Which is advice for the dumb. And there's advice for the dumb. Stoned advice for the dumb. Stoned advice for the dumb. That could include us. It could be someone giving us stone advice and we're dumb. All right. So like maybe throw a comment.

it down on, you know, somewhere and we'll try to find it or whatever. I don't care. We'll come up with something. Now you've promised people, so you got to fucking... We're going to do this fucking show. We're going to do a show and we're going to help people, man, with advice.

Got every way to get paid. Get a sponsor or something. I'm fucking working on it, man. It's just 20-26 just happened. I'm fucking working on. Before you know it, poof. It'll be 20-28. No.

Don't go two years. man, go one year. 2027. I like to count by tease. It's just making life go by faster. Fuck that. All right, everybody, stay positive. Things are going to fucking...

Things are going to be good here with this new show. Or they may not be. Who knows? New episodes every week on Trailer Park Boys Plus. Subscribe now.