Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 35 - Be Nice To Randy

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

Randy's dropped by for a drinkypoo... can Ricky and Julian get to the end of the podcast without killing him? Ricky has a happy story about India's richest beggar, and the weird world of animal wangs. Plus: It puts the lotion on the bald head – Julian's skincare routine revealed!

Weekly episodes now on Trail of Perp Boys Plus. We both fucking started at the same time, man. Yeah. We're in sync, buddy. Welcome to the park after the dark. Actually, I guess Randy's here, so... And who's fault? Some energy, because we're baked...

Whose fault is that? Whose fault is that? I don't know. That he's here. Why do you fucking invite him, man? I did not invite him. Ever since you guys did that cooking show, something's going on here, boys.

Can I have some ice, Julian? Apparently they want to some more of the cooking shows. We're trying to get along. Make sure you tip. You got any fucking loonies and tunes? I don't have to. Don't be a dick. Bring some energy.

Don't be a dick. Do something. Leave a tip. When you both talk at the same time, that's deja vu. That's French. The French. The day. Deja, we're talking the same time.

It's not deja vu. Deja vu is when you feel like something happened before. What just happened. Oh. It's nothing to do with sinking, is it? Am I wrong? No, I think you're right. I think he's five.

Well, then what's you call? Punch buggy? When you talk the same time, the game? Remember? What? Punch buggy? Punch buggy. Punch buggy.

Blue Julian. No talk back. I think that's what it was. What the fuck is he talking about? I don't know, man. Who does? When you both say something or the same word at the same time. Buzzkill.

What is this some fucking gay, like, game or something? What is it? Yeah, I think it is. Punch buggy. Like, well, or when you're driving. This is weird. If you're driving down the road, and then if you're going, and you see a cow and you're two are together, and you both say cow at the same time.

But then you say punch buggy. I thought punch bugger just if you saw a fucking Volkswagen bug. If you just see one. All right, I guess I'm wrong. Ow! The very fucking hit me again. Punch buggy. You're really strong, Julie.

All right, you know, why don't fuck this? I'm going to be nice to you for the rest of this podcast. Cheers. It's done. You know what's done? Cheers, Ricky. I didn't know fuck off. See, that makes me want to fucking give it to him, man.

I didn't know you were going to be here today. I made it too soon. So I don't know if I could talk about any of these stuff I have because he might get too excited. I made a two-finger drink. Who invited you here today? This is the two fingers, this way. Your pinky's fucked. I made a two-finger drink.

What the fuck's going on with your pinky? It's just, you know, sometimes you do things. Were you sticking in someplace you maybe shouldn't have been sticking it? Well, this one's crooked do. Anyway, it's good. That's why we were given two of certain things. I guess I could talk about this and you won't get to say it. How's that?

This homeless beggar, I think he's... I think he's... Where the fuck is it? I think he's in India. Okay. Turns out, he owns several homes, cars, side businesses. So he is physically challenged. He can't really walk.

He's got leprosy, I guess. But people are just generous. He's not even begging for money. He just sits there on his little platform, and people just give him money. Tons of it. Like how much? Thousands of rupees per day.

How much is a rupee? Well, but thousands of them a day must be quite a bit. Well, he's actually he's loaned money back to shopkeepers at an interest rate. He's got three houses. He's a loan shark. He's got two auto rickshaws that he rents out. Three houses. He has a car that he hired a driver for.

Oh, man. And I guess some of his family members are on, too, so. Smart business, man. It's a fucking happy story. Fucking rights, man. I like to go to India. India would be fun. Now, I like that.

He doesn't even bag for money. He just sits there. He's given a fucking raw deal. And he's like, fuck, you know what? I'm just going to embrace this shit. Did he ever fucking make something of himself? So would you say this guy is like honest? He's not like...

He's not dishonest. He doesn't beg for money, which I think is illegal where he lives. Okay. I mean, if people want to give him money, why not? Okay, so what... Taking that money, putting it to... Take me through a day in his life, do you think? Gets his driver, apparently, to drive off.

Probably not too close. To a very high traffic area. And then he just kind of chills on his little platform that he has with some wheels on it. Stairs at the ground. Oh, so he's doing the Eddie Murphy thing. Remember Eddie Murphy was on that thing, in that movie? You're thinking of Aladdin, I think.

Oh, man, that's on a fucking magic car. I saw that movie, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Trading spaces. And who, Dan Aykroyd was in it, wasn't he? Dan Aykroyd. And these all these rich guys, while they traded spaces,

whatever. But anyway, he had a little... It looked like he was, like, cruising around a little rollerboard. It wasn't a skateboard. It was like one you'd use to move a fridge. Okay. Like a dollar.

Yeah. And he always said that he had a big family. These fucking chairs are not good. You know what? This one's... I thought you were getting me new chairs, man. I like... Actually, white.

You know what? You just ruined a fucking surprise, man. You ruined a fucking surprise. You do this to me every year, man. around your birthday. You fuck it up. I'm sorry. I get the,

all right, the rock pile, they'll have a little surprise for you next week. They said it easy. That might even be here earlier. It might come like Friday. Might have it for the weekend.

All right. Pardon me. That makes me feel good. I can't wait to see and they gotta be better in these fucking. This chair, this is like a memory phone, questions or something,

so it's like totally flat but didn't come back up. You must have been sitting in this. No, this is nice. It's white. It matches my pants. I like it. Very cushy. Like I said, I didn't know you're going to be here today

and try to keep calm. Last night, I went down. Springy. Would you please stop fucking doing that? The animal penis rabbit hole. Okay. I'm not sure why. All right.

What did you come up with? I saw it was kind of interesting to me, but I was super baked at the time. I guess I'm now, but some people listen to this probably aren't big. Mm-hmm. These things called, I don't know. Echidnas, maybe?

Okay. Hotuladas? No. That's a food. It's a fucking animal. It's an egg-laying mammal, which is... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know what you're talking about, man.

I should get a petrivolve. They're fucking penis. They look like rodents. The head of the penis splits in like four different things. Get out of here, man. Yeah. It does not. Yeah, I can imagine that come out.

Did they grab? No. So I guess these are all penises. Yeah. When it's like this, and they're already going to go, it's too big to fucking insert. So they got to chill two with them out. They're like, okay, these two guys are going in birth, so we stick those guys in. Do they each have a hole, a pea hole?

I think you jam them into the one hole. So it's like a fucking squid coming at you. Is that what a squid looks like? It's like little fucking fingers, man, like the tentacles and shit. Yeah, four of them come right at you. Trying to fight for them. And then they, all right. I've seen people who take their tongue

and then they split their tongues they'd be got two tongues. I bet you they would be probably known as the best lovers in the animal kingdom. Those guys. They're not a giver. It looks like. They probably They're probably They got fucking four of them ready to go.

Wow. Coming at you. It's like a gatling gun of penises. I'm telling you. Try not to get too excited about this stuff. That's not a good day for these kind of I'm wondering why we didn't like we should all have two penises

like in case we had an accident and one of them got cut off or something think about what you just said that you can't you can't control your fucking unit when you're taking a piss in here you got two eyes all over the place and you piss on the floor in there and get and I'm stepping in it I'm gonna

rub it in your face I didn't know the penis like we got two testicles you should have two penises to match most reptiles do you know that I didn't that what most reptiles have two penises Kid, no, man. Where did you hear this? Crocodiles don't have two penises.

I don't know, but it says most reptiles, but there is a penisless to a terra. He's a lizard with no penis. He's got to rub his opening against hers, and I guess, do the scissors. Like Barbie and Ken. They're like Ken dolls. Whatever you call it?

Yeah, they do the, yeah. It's not a scissor lift. It's a cissor rub. Cisor rubbing. Yeah. And then the two openings, I guess. They hope these stuff mixes in and out of them. It's a weird fucking process.

That's how they reproduce, right? You're talking about loading stuff, right? It's better than being a fucking drone bee. I didn't know this. What about the drone bee? When he does his business with the queen, his fucking genitalia explodes inside of her. It kills him.

They're done. They bang and they blow up. If the genitalia stays inside of her, like a plug. Nobody else can take advantage. That's right. Fuck, what a weird gig. Penis plug. It's what that is.

It must be. I better be one hell of an orgasm if it kills you. Penis plug. Well, it's a penis plug because it blows your penis off, right? It is a penis bomb. Well. What do you mean plug? It blows up that way, but then leaves the plug behind.

I don't figure out how it works. He's tough. No, I think it said penis plug. You're correct. Penus plug. You're smart, Julian. Oh man, this is a fucked up one. The ducky corkscrew.

Then an Argentine lake duck. Okay. That's a 17-inch long corkscrew. What? A lake duck? 17-inch corkscrew. Okay, what does he do with that thing now? Does he spin?

Apparently, the female has a labyrinth of a vagina that it has to intertangle. So it's like a nut and bolt. I don't know how it works, but it just... And are they just like doing this? It must be, if the move itself up these little canals? I wonder if it's clock... Okay, is the spiral clockwise or counterclockwise? That's a very good question. I don't know.

See, that's kind of facts I don't know. You have to order one. I wonder if there's counterclockwise ones and clockwise ones. Like, it's like a left-hand right-hand. I don't know, but proportionally, it's the biggest wang of all vertebrae. This Argentine Lake Duck. It's a lake duck. Duck.

You know what? That's where the fucking saying goes, it comes a lucky duck. Lucky duck. All the other ducks are looking at them. Because I guarantee you, if they got a spiral cock. He'd be swimming around hanging that thing out. Hey.

It's a spiral cock like it's up there, bud. Exactly. But the other ducks have a spiral cots. Maybe it does help them. It might help them swim or something. It's actually, think most ducks have fucking, yeah, most birds don't have penises. It could be like a motor

in the water. They do the fucking scissor rub. No, they do, I didn't know that, man. I mean, if it's corkscrew-shaped, it could propel it through the water very fast. But I mean, I don't imagine it's spinning like a corkscrew. It's not, we're talking, one person's got to get in there and spin

to get the full effect. But like, would it be, wrecked? It's got to be, man. Is it swim? It's got to be like a... It's got to be like, you know what? I'm picture him with one of those fucking tucks up underneath them the pasta like his right past that labaranth of a vagina what does that mean exactly a vagina god i think it's just like a confusing you got it you got to you got to you got to get in there the right way because you got to

the cork screw the corks crew well that's that's probably i don't understand it i don't understand it sometimes i guess you don't have to understand things though what doesn't he understand well We fucking laid all the facts on the table, man. Normally, penetration is an in and out, right? Cork screwing would just be this slow kind of, like, how do you ram corkscrew? Like I said, there's got to be someone, maybe someone at the top, someone at the bottom, the person on the top is spinning. It's a dot. Unless the other one can breakdancing, he's spinning on the ground.

Maybe she's spinning like a top. Exactly. Oh, they've got wings. That's what it is. They just go like this. See, I never really thought of the wings. Maybe the wings have to... Maybe that's a missing opponent.

Maybe they just... Yeah. Well... It'll probably be very good. I almost tried to... Why does it seem like he's getting turned on right now? I don't know. He likes the idea of a corksman.

He wants to be flapping around. I bet you that's his next move. I do know that penises in the animal kingdom look kind of scary, some of them. Okay. What kind of a fucking statement is that to me? What the fuck is wrong with you, Randy? I'm trying.

You know what, man? I am trying my best. Hours are rounded at the top, kind of, you know. Well, I haven't seen yours, but you can show me to make sure it's the same. I'm going to step away for a few minutes. Yeah, man. So I want to turn the cameras off. You know.

Fucking Jesus, Randy. So Spider-Munk use pendulous lady parts. What? I didn't know about this. If you look up the tree, you see a spider muck, and you see the big thing hanging down, I'm like, whoa, that guy's fucking packing some meat. Yeah. No, it's her.

What? It's her clitoris. No, man. No, no, no, no, no. They fucking, when she's ready to go, she lets that thing flare up and hang down. Then the male spider monkeys, she's like, okay, she's ready to go. Where do you find spider monkeys? Probably in spider jungle.

Okay. When you're talking about hanging down, like, you, like, you were, it's making me think it's like that long. I don't. Is that what we're talking about? No, I don't think it's that long. But it, you know, it looks like a well-endowed male, except it's not. And it's... It's an erect clitoris on the female.

It's erect. That's what they call it? It must be. Is it erect or is it just, like, hanging? Like a ribbons. It's not like it was hanging, but... Why do they call them a spot? Do they have more than four arms or eight?

What's wrong with it? We're talking about the thing as a thing hanging down. He's like, does it have... Maybe they have eight legs. I don't know. Anyways, they got big clitoris. No big deal, Julian. You know?

I'd say it was a big deal. It was just... I bet you're some odors. He's just laying down some facts. Most animals emit odor, too. Feremoans. Let you know that it's time to meet. The last weird one that I found was an argonaut,

which is an octopus. Didn't know that. And a football team. Yeah, but is that what they're called? The octopuses? The what? The octopuses? The argonauts.

The ergonauts Same definition Like they're a bunch of octopuses I never Never would have thought of that man No I don't particularly care I thought ergonauts are like

Fucking Vikings or something It's not the best Anyway they have a The male Ergonaut octopus He's so fucking caught up With chilling and doing his little Artistic shit

And whatever he does I don't really know what they do But He's so caught up with that He's like Fuck trying to find a woman And banger Fuck that

I'm just gonna rip my cock off. So he rips off the tentacle with all the sperm in it and just sends it on its way. And he's lucky a female finds it and rams it up inside of her. You can't tell me those

creatures aren't fucking aliens. They are aliens, man. If you want to know what an alien is, go take a look at the octopus because they're smart, man. Scientists had no idea what the fuck was going on until they saw the females grabbing them and ramming them inside. I mean, you can cut off one of their fucking

arms or whatever the fuck they are and it grows back right is that right yeah they're I like talk to piss man I thought that they're fucking fascinating creole don't they just lay eggs? They can change colors

they change and they just chill out man they sit on the fucking just going over and sprays the eggs with some of them I guess but not the Argonaut the Argonaut he has he's like fuck doing anything like that he's got a remote control penis that he controls with go find your way little brand

And there's like... That house to make it back. I don't know. Does he have an orgasm when he rips it off at least, I hope? So sometimes if you go to... Does it hurt? If you go swimming at the wrong time of the year, you can get octopus cock. You may encounter...

You may encounter octopus. Randy, what are you talking about? Well, he's sending his penis off and will sperm... So you're like snorkeling around and you see this thing that cock float by? Yeah, don't open your mouth, Julian. Would you like to find out what time of year they make and go swimming in those water? No. Does he ever?

Tell him. I don't want to go. That's artificial. You'd be so fast there, man, snorkeling around. Just grabbing things. Just grabbing things. Jellyfish. Ramming them.

So then it just grows back, I imagine, because he's an octopus. Or what is he? Not an octopus? Yeah, he is. So it has like little baby octopus all over the place. And he doesn't know they're his kids. Maybe he knows. Yeah.

alien he knows that that that's my kind of a dead beat dad really yeah man he can be he's an octopus she'd just show up and say here's your your young ones need some help he's like prove that they're mine i'm gonna hang on the bottom of the fucking ocean on the floor and i'm gonna you show me a DNA test grab them i'll start helping you throw me on mori see how there's a cartoon right there that is a cartoon Let's do it, man. You can voice the guys. All right.

Okay, what happened? I blocked it for a couple seconds. I got a fucking, I had this quiz I wanted to do with you guys, but I don't know if that's going to happen. A quiz? Yeah, because, oh, fuck. No, I think we talked about that. The pants, the pair of pants.

Yeah, that's weird. It's a pair of pants, but it's really just one pant. But no. It's a pair of pants. Inside out, that's all you do. Peer legs. Sometimes, I mean, if you don't have pockets. You know what, that's how they started.

The pantaloon. Pair legs? No, they used to dress with just one. It'd be two things. It'd be a pair of pants. One leg, another leg. Put them on, tie them up. You get your pantaloons.

That does like leg warmers? No, they're pantaloons, man. And then they fucking end up saying, you don't want to fuck that. And they just made the split hose. They turned a split hose. with the panaloons into a pair of pants. I think I might want myself a pair of panaloons.

I was going to say, man. Panaloons be. So would you wear what? Panaloons and a... Kirt boots. You could definitely wear panaloons under a fucking quilt if you want. Yeah, but it's just like, okay, there's the same thing. There's all kinds of things, like trousers, pairs of scissors.

Same kind of deal. Shears, tweezers, tweezers. How the fuck did we get started talking about this? Crackers. I don't know just a big trail. Handcuffs. I think a kilt. Sunglasses. That's, there's only one. Have you guys ever worn one? Have you ever worn a kilt?

There's a glass on each eye, so I swear. Plural tantrum. That's what it's called, man. Who? Plural tantrum. Those, that's the word, scissors and shears. It sounds like it's a singular thing, but it's plural. Whoa, you know what? Fuck, I gotta get out of what I'm ever thinking about here, boys. that was a weed

what is that fucking noise I don't fucking garbage decks please move the fucking dumpsters like to the other side of the fucking part yeah man what the fuck listen

in the winter you gotta put them where they're the best access for everyone and the trucks and stuff over there is not a good idea fucking stink gotta deal with snow and it's cold my nips

you're really hard it's good to know yeah What's causing that now? Coldness. I think, I don't know what causes them to get hurt, though. It's like, you know, you don't get it wrecked penis. Anything in this area?

Julian, you're looking pretty handsome. I got to say. Shut up, man. You are. You're looking. Randy, enough. You look firm, Julian. Firm. Look firm. What pair of them looks like that.

Jesus Christ. Here we go. His breasts are very firm. I've been working at it. A little bit this year. Like, trying to get definition back. How long are you working for? And the beard does, Julian, keep you warmer on your face.

You're right. Yeah, you know what? I've been in the online. People are saying that I look like fucking slim shady. There's all kinds of people saying it, man. Like, Eminem, what the fuck? No. You look like John Chavolta in that airplane movie.

Oh, don't say that, man. Yeah. Maybe. What airplane fucking movie? He was, I think he was, I think he was a killer or terrorist or something. Base off? I don't remember, but I mean, John DeVoldz is very handsome. He's a handsome.

Handsome man. And he can dance. But it's like, you know what? I got a, the head's two white boys. I need to get some sun. Chew polish. I went on, I was on this little date there the night, and she kept calling me powder. And I was like, who the fuck is powder?

She's like, hey, he's a good dude. Powder. Looked it up. That's your new handle. No. No, no, no. It's not my new fucking handle, man. All right, powder.

No. Did you get it? It's a guy in the movie. Do they have tannabeds for heads? I'm going to find one because I've had enough of it because. One of those old 70s. It was a good movie. Hairdry and things, but it's got a tanning.

I don't want to be fucking called powder. Did you get your head kissed yet, licked or anything? None of your business, Randy. That means yes, Ricky. Did you? See, he's a little. smiled. Did he lick your head? No, he said he had a date.

No, man. Did he kiss your head? I would knock him out. No, no, no, no, no. Your head is an erroneousine zone. Do you want to lick his head? Oh, I mean, I don't want to, but I would if he needed it. Like, if he just needed to just see what it was like, I mean, it's just a head. Ricky, you wouldn't kiss him on the head? No, you wouldn't.

Randy, would you please? Shut up. Anyway, much warmer. I mean, I guess it would just be like licking some stubble on your chin. It's pretty stubbly. Is it more stubbly or less stubbly than... I say there's like way more stubbly, man.

I like how you can taste cheeseburgs and stuff out of your beard like for days. That's fucking disgusting, man. Wash your face. Take a shower. So you do intentionally not wash your beard so you can taste it? Wow, so you can suck on it.

You could probably be a lot cleaner and just buy like a cheeseburger cologne but still wash. There's a cheeseburger cologne? There should be an edible version for people like you. Oh man, that would be a good... If you smelled like food,

well, they got vanilla, that's food. So Randy, you mean to tell me... You need to come up with a cologne. Ricky, this is disgusting. There should be food clones. There's a good product. This should pay me royalties. Bacon cologne is a good idea.

A good cologne. Then again, that would be for guys. Yeah, it'd be good for guys. Bacon cologne. So Randy, you don't wash your fucking face. I do. But you leave it on, you said for days. So anything that goes in your mouth that you consume

is left on your fucking beers. I'm not saying maybe days was the wrong. No, it was, man. You have smoked fucking days. I'm just saying if you ate a cheeseburger for lunch at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, you can still taste some of the... If you did a little lick.

Yeah. Excuse me. Been there. This is really... Ooh. Been there. Messy don't air. Sometimes you get a little sauce in your shit. You must notice it. With your drink, you must sort of taste a little bit of liquor in there. Off your mustache? No? No, I wash my fucking hands in my face, man. I get a little quick like that. Boom. Done. Do you have skin care?

I know. I don't use skin care products. You should lotion, Julian. I'm not going to fucking lotion, man. I have lotion on me. You should get all that shit. That bald head is lotion. It's not scabby or anything, Randy. Yeah, but I'm just saying it's none of your business, Randy. You just use a soap and a facecloth? Just yeah, go in there and fucking put some, you know, soap on it, whatever, man. All right, I was just curious.

I'm not sure what. See? Just seeing if I'm doing it right. This has been a, you know what? Never too old to learn how to look after your skin, I guess. This has been a pretty good buzz on, like, last half hour. I agree. This one was a stiffy.

It's just not leaving me, man, though. It's, it's, it's making, no, he's driving me nuts. Do you use, like, soap, or do you use, like, body wash? I use the fucking, yeah, some, yeah. Yeah? Some gentle soap. Do you, like, just spray it all over yourself, a big... Like the old space kind of stuff?

Randi, I pumped the shit into my hand. Do you? Yes, and then I fucking put it on me. All right? Then I fucking rinse. But you don't put it on, like, the cloth first? I don't fucking use a cloth, no, man. I don't.

fuzzy balls. I don't have one of the fuzzies, man. I'm supposed to do... Circles, Julian. You do circles, Julian. You do circles. Like the karate kid, wax on, wax off. Okay? Be gentle. You don't need to be firm with your big, strong... I may or may not have one of fuzzis balls. How are we going to get rid of his body? It's exfoliation. The ground is very frozen right now. That's what I'm saying.

It's going to have to be incinerated or sent to space. We're throwing into a river. The second one is very expensive. It's moving and not frozen and hopefully go under. Well, that being said, if you leave him outside, in the snow for a while, he's going to freeze, he's not going to stink. Would you put him under your trailer for a few months? I'd rather not have a dead body under there. You use old spice, don't you?

They'll put it under. You use old spice? Let me talk to the bridge. He's old spice. We'll get a container somewhere, put them right at the back, let him freeze, or freeze them first. Trunk of a car. You guys aren't going to put me in a trunk of a car. I'm telling you,

what happened? What happened? What happened? Prig off. I am not going to be killed. That depends on how you act. I don't want you dead. I just want you like away from me.

That's it. Oh, that's a whole different fucking can of worms. Well, no, no. Oh. Accidents might happen. You use dial for men body wash? Is that what it is? No, I don't.

Old spice. No? whatever i can fucking grab okay i'm taking it doesn't fucking matter me randy i don't think i don't think i can be involved in the killing all right i can't my style and i don't think i can be once the killing was done he would have to be put into something so i wouldn't see him just like a hockey gear bag or something so i don't have to look out then i could maybe Oil drum, Ed. Oil drum.

That's a fucking pain in the ass, isn't it? Acid. Oh, yeah. Fuck, you know what? You are not doing this. Okay, we've got to stop talking about it. Everyone knows now. We're just writing something.

We're just talking about a fucking movie or something. Yeah, a big TV show or something. Yeah. Freaks sakes. Do you have anything to talk about? No. Why did you come on here? Well, I just came over for a train.

Just to get excited about different. types of reproductive organs? You're the one that brought up the multi-pubus. I didn't know you were coming on the show. I had nothing else. Yeah, and then we got talking body washes. Anyways, I like coming here for a drink and stuff. I guess it was okay.

I had a fucking great buzz on. Did you find anything worth mentioning? We do this all the time, but it's so weird because when I saw this story, because we always fucking do this. We talk about the weather, man. We didn't do it today. It's cold.

Well, now we have to. I know, but do you want to know the psychology behind the fucking... Why we discuss the weather all the fucking time, huh? Does it mean I'm cuckoo? Everybody does it. So we're all fucked. It's called small talk, and people do it. And they meet somebody...

The easiest thing you talk about. 90% of the people that get into a conversation about the weather with somebody is not happy about it. Really? Yeah. They're like, this is fucked. And it's actually not good for a lot of people because it just pisses you off that you've got to get into the small talk. I don't like small talk.

I like the weather's... The weather's legit with you and I because, you know... Beautiful day at the hat! Don't fucking talk to me about the weather. Enough for the small talk, one, fucker. That'd be a good challenge, actually. You'd be talking to a lot of people. It's two levels.

So I shouldn't say, fuck, it's cold out today, huh? Yeah, that's small talk. You don't got a small talk with me, man. But you know what it's, you know what? I think they're confusing that with stone talk. Because there's a lot of small talk and stone talk. You don't even try to? Exactly.

We're not thinking, oh, I've got to fucking gone by something to say. You say something you didn't mean to? I just say whatever. Did I say that at last? So everybody, if you don't like small talk, get baked. If you haven't smoked before, small talk is a whole different thing when you're baked. Because then you just, you know, another reaction.

I'm going to write down a bunch of reactions. Hold your hand up. Do reactions like emojis. Raining pretty hard out there. Really? That's all you got. You got nothing important to talk to me about? Or you could just say what else you got to say?

What else you got? I know it's fucking raining. I just fucking walk through it. Or you could just really be tough. Give me 10 more facts about the weather. Oh, man, is it ever raining? It could be like that. Rain and fucking horsecocks.

And you know what? The weather's safe because it doesn't usually turn into any kind of confrontation. You can talk politics. You can talk about other things. Your girlfriend, where you can't argue with the weather. It is what it is. That's what it is, man.

It is what it is. That's why it's a good tool for people. If you can't talk to somebody, go talk, at least talk about the weather with somebody. It's easy. Because some people, you know, are so... Instead of talking about the weather, you should talk about something controversial.

Controversial? Yeah, and then you're into like a solid, good fucking conversation. Okay. I'm going to change it up. Interesting facts, Julian. Very interesting. It's going to be tough for me not to comment on the weather

because I like to you. I'm one of those people. See, a nice sunny day is universally a nice sunny day. There's no confrontation there, my friend. Some days, you know, everybody knows. You don't go on and say, yeah, it's kind of mild today but not that warm, but not that cold.

Yeah. You know what? Okay, they're saying it's not bad if you're in a different country and they're speaking to different language. Yeah. Universally, everybody knows, hey, nice day, sunny day. Instead of just sitting there going, huh? I'm more like, holy fuck, it's hot out there today.

And I'm like, yeah, sure is. Perfect, man. That's the way you use it. Just don't come at me with the weather because I know what it's like, oh, man, I live right next to you. You could always pair it with your favorite thing. Like, sunny day, what's your favorite burger? See, that's the definition of annoying small talk.

Two things. If I'm baked and that's coming at me, we're not going to interact very well. No, man. I'd be like, get the fuck away from me. So I didn't know you'd get the fuck away from the chairs. Good fucking chairs. A different town. You might even get something throwing at you.

Because you'd be like, oh, no, I want to be friends. No. It's not happening. You're fucking weird. Or you could, well, you could say, nice day. rings or cheeseburger. Give them a choice. Decked. Someone said it to me, I don't know how I'd react. I don't know. No, we're not talking about someone. We're talking about him.

Yeah, but okay. And that's not knowing him. Yeah. And he said that to me. What is it again? Now, what would you say? Nice day. Cheeseburger or onion drinks. What? Are you buying me one of them? No, just what would you eat right now? I would get a combo. Why are we talking about this? See, this Do it to me All I need to know

Do it to me, Randy It's all I need to know Do it to me Randy you ask me Nice day Cheeseburger onion drinks Fuck off Yeah

That's how you handle That's better That's how you handle Small talk Oh You may have learned something Then you're gonna cause Fight

Don't care I don't want to talk to this guy With no shirt on About him eating fucking onion rings I'll talk to anybody I'm not I'm saying him man

And the smell It might be a small talk nightmare, but I'm not changing now. I'm guilty of it sometimes, man, but, you know, it's okay. It's all right to do it. Just don't be annoying. I do talk about a lot now that I think about it. You do. Yeah, I'll go on the street.

Here we're getting a bunch of snow on Sunday. Why do I do that? You always leave with the weather, man, with everybody. I mean, you're always high. I guess that's what it is. But that's okay. That's the easiest thing to fucking make this person think I'm not. do.

It's the conversation you have when you're like, am I too fuck to talk to this person? It's safe. It's like, Brad, nice day of the day. It talks to itself all the time about that. I think I'm too fucked to go in here.

Yeah. It's like, when we do this, it's like, I'm way too fucked to do this pad. It's almost every time I do it. But we do it. I know,

we get through it. We do. A lot of small, this whole pad is a small talk. Yeah, sometimes. Knowing the fuck of the people? We're going to stop talking about the weather,

period. You annoyed 98% of the people watching when you said that. God damn. You stoned. Starting to get warmer. Blame it on the... Whatever the fuck that was. Blame it on the rain.

You guys got up and did karaoke that time. You always thought you could do better fucking lip sync than Millie Vanilly. Only when I'm drunk, it's... You got to be drunk. Those people trick millions of people. You tricked nobody. You got to be... Okay?

You don't have a voice like that. All right, I gotta get the fuck away from him. Really? Yeah, man. I'm done with it. Have we done it long enough? Well, this was fun, guys. Yeah. We're good.

Enough small talk with him for today. Thank you. All right. All right, everybody. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers to the Argentine Lake Duck. Be positive and don't fucking get into small talk if you don't want to. Just. Or do.

Have a nice day. You're supposed to look over there, I think. Have a nice day. We're there. Day. A lot of cameras. New episodes every week on Trailer Park Boys Plus. Subscribe now.