Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 39 - Be My Muscular Valentine

Episode Date: February 17, 2025

Happy banging day! Ricky's been trawling Plenty Of Sharks for a date, and Bubs is hoping for a Swedish massage. Julian's got money on his mind with a greasy new business scheme... anyone wanna buy 100,000 eggs?! Plus: Can you beat the Boys in a rock band quiz?

To see the video version of Park After Dark in Ricky's trailer, go to Swearnet.com or download the Trailer Park Boys Swearnet app. What I'm saying, Ricky, is when the Swedish chef would say or Steve or Steve it didn't mean anything It must have meant something about doesn't make sense. Well, it went more more more which is fucking dead in French I don't know. What is it in Swedish? She never no, he said more more more man. What's the most? We're not talking about more more we're talking about or Steve about Horstie Borsche. Okay, well, I'm fucking I'm saying, he said more about more and more. Welcome to the Paracraft Dark 2025 Valentine's edition. How's that?

Oh, is it? Is it fucking Valentine's? You guys don't know it's Valentine's, so you obviously have no fucking plans or dates tonight. Do you? Maybe I do. Okay. Maybe I went on plenty of sharks, and I got a few dates.

Hmm. Plenty of sharks, huh? So you got a few dates lined up tonight. So how's that going to work? I don't really. Scheduling? I have one possible date, depending if the shift can get switched.

His shift? What's his name? Her. You said his. It's all right if it is school matter. It doesn't even matter at this point. No? Nope.

Just wanna go out and have fun. With a fella. Nothing wrong with that. So you would, okay, so you do like women, but there's nothing wrong with having a male valentine? Is that what you're saying, Bubs? I don't think there's anything wrong with having a male Valentine.

There you are. Sure. What does that mean? Will you be my muscular Valentine? So we should go on a double date. We could. Let's have a three-way Valentine. The number one thing a Valentine does is give the other Valentine a nice massage. Deep tissue oil massage. So who's doing that? So when should I get my back ready? No, no.

Sweetest massage? Borsty, borsty? Borsty, borsty. Give me some borsty, borsty, Bob. Borsty, borsty. I wish I was getting a massage, man. You can't use your full muscles on me, though. You'll break me.

I thought you'd have something all lined up, fucking red roses ready to go the animals fucking no maybe I do maybe I don't I'm not saying when was the last time you had a Valentine like for real when was that last Valentine's Day Mrs. Anderson 72 he's still a sweet lady, sweet old lady. She looks like she's only like late 60s. Yeah, she does look kind of young, man. She doesn't even look that old, boys.

I thought she was 55. So what's the current climate like for Valentine's dating? Do I take flowers with me or do I wait and see how it goes, flowers next day, no flowers? It's fucked. You know what the- Do I make a flower of rose out of a fucking napkin if things going well?

It's fucked up because these days, you gotta ask the chick to be your girlfriend. And do I have to ask permission to fucking do anything nice? You gotta ask her to be your Valentine first, which doesn't mean she's your girlfriend, she's your Valentine. I was told that you're not supposed

to open car doors anymore, you're not supposed to hold doors. Oh, fuck that, I'm a that. I do that, man. Chivalry, man. That's what it's called. Some women frown on it, apparently. Well, it's just nice. You can do it for a fella, too. I hold doors. Same thing. I don't give a fuck if it's a man, woman, guy, girl. I'll hold a door open for anyone. Just being polite. Right. So people actually get it. They up a hessy fit about that shit?

Some people do. Go open a door for somebody. You can't even say hessy fit anymore. Fuck, are you kidding me? Sword. Who does that affect? Snakes? Hessers.

Oh. Snakes. See, I don't know even more. I don't know what to say here. I'm going to continue opening my doors for my dates. At least for the first few you know what I mean Boys I'm nodding off here we better talk about some exciting shit that all right better You want to talk about some exciting shit, but some that got some for me That's just this whole fucking night. There's one of these influence people influencers, right?

To get her video guess what she'd started doing? She's in public, she takes a fucking hammer and starts destroying some property. Like ATM machines, it was during a protest. Guess what happened to her? Jail. Columbia, she's in jail for five years. Five? And she's a, she hit the world, man.

Beautiful woman. Columbia's not a great place to go to jail for five years. I don't wanna go to jail in Colombia. I've seen on TV. No man. Well you just I mean yeah. Alright. That's it. See I wasn't that excited.

Well it's a bad she should wouldn't you know fuck if I wreck this machine in Colombia I'm going to Colombian jail probably for at least five years. But she thought maybe because she was an influencer, right? With all these fucking eyes watching her. Oh. And she's a beautiful lady. Oh, I see. She's not gonna go to jail, you know what I mean?

Oh, she's not that smart, because they don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. This is a good idea that we never had before. What's that? Stealing eggs. What? Yeah, I know a guy stole.

100,000 eggs got stolen in Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania? Yeah. Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Transylvania. Okay. All organic.

Worth about 40 grand. A whole truckload of eggs. 40 grand. Eggs are expensive right now. Especially down in the state. I grand. Eggs are expensive right now. Especially down in the state. I think they're more expensive down in America, aren't they? They could be.

They could be. Wow, they said it averages over four something a dozen. Is that a lot? I don't even know. I don't pay for eggs. Four something. Well, that's American. So yeah, I thought they're more here, man. So we might be able to make more money here. That's a nine bucks a carton here.

You know, else is fucked up. I went to go get some bread and I thought I'd try like a nice bread that's not gonna fuck me up. All kinds of shit in it. 10 bucks for a little fucking loaf of bread that's good for you. Ezekiel bread?

I don't know what kind of bread it was, man. I just saw the price tag out of there. I'm not reading up on it. What's Ezekiel bread? Don't know, man. I like maybe it's, I don't know, no gluten. Maybe it's Ezekiel? Yeah, maybe, maybe that's right, yeah.

I'm just trying to figure out what he means. He means a different type. Pumpernickel? I don't know, Leahy used to eat it. Ezekiel bread. Pretty sure that's what it was called. I don't know for sure. Pumpernickel it could be.

It's fucking good, whatever it was. Whatever's happening out there right now, groceries are too fucking expensive. See, eggs, we never thought of it because I'd say low security. Oh yeah, what, I mean to get rid of them? No one's expecting their fucking eggs to get stolen. You chuck them, if you don't, you know,

you're gonna get caught. I just walk through this organic fucking egg place, unload the truck, fucking having a field day selling eggs. I don't know where you sell the fucking things the country market All right, how I think pre-orders I how's like how much okay? We got to figure this out a hundred thousand fucking eggs What are we gonna fucking carry that in the back of a pickup? Is that is that what we're talking? I think you need cube van. I think they had a cube their minimum. I would say no no 100,000 eggs divide that by 12

So you get two dozen right in one of those flats, right? Yeah two dozens. Yeah, about ten dozen to be about that big That much so that's what that's 120 fucking it. No, that's 240 eggs How many eggs was it a hundred thousand? Oh fuck. Yeah, you need a that's a lot You need a you need a big rig you need a big rig They were probably in a big rig. Maybe it was only ten thousand. I'm gonna fuck. No, it was a hundred thousand It was forty thousand dollars worth of eggs. Yeah, but that's wouldn't ten thousand eggs be worth forty thousand No, they wouldn't be no cuz they're all dozen. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It is hundred thousand hundred thousand eggs It's a lot. It definitely a minimum of a cube van

No more than a cube. Who's gonna buy that much eggs on man. Like you've got them. What do you people at the country market? Yeah, but all of a sudden you're selling eggs. You didn't have them before you had to get them from somewhere Next you know the fucking and you're not gonna sound for full price Next thing you know, the fucking F&B guys. And you're not going to sell them for full price. You've got to give them a discount to move them fast. True. Half price. Half price eggs, you sell them out.

So they might only be worth $20,000. Is it worth it? If they're on an expiry date, that's what the dragons did. And they say that shit, man. Don't get into shit that has expiry dates. It depends. If they're organic, they may. I mean, they would, but most organic most organic eggs you leave on your fucking counter

You don't have to any what the cocksucker. It also depends on when you're getting the eggs for free Well, yeah, you got a much better merchant very good merchants. Yeah, that's free gas money no cost All right, so we need to look into that. Yeah, I mean organic shit. Let's get into it Okay, but you should take one of those edibles, man. I did. Oh, shit. Hopefully kicks in soon. We've talked about this shit a couple of times, but there's a fucking other mystery baby fucking animal born.

What? Last time was a shark. Baby shark do do do do do do do. Baby shark do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. Don't say the S word. Baby shark do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Louisiana only two females in the shark tank yeah there's some shit's going on man what the fuck it's just keeps happening how come humans can't do that they might come out looking like the Janet or Ronnie so it either means it's delayed fertilization they say which a shark can get pregnant like months or

even years and just it's delayed some fucking just some cling-on load yeah so what you think I don't know, shark load. That's kinda weird, after a year. Shark load must keep really well. Especially near the water. Or they said it could also be pathogenesis, which means asexual reproduction. Yeah.

That's fucked up, man. So when there's a little baby shark at home, you're gonna do some DNA tests and find out. What do you think of bubs? He might be the immaculate, he might be the Jesus of sharks. sharks delayed fertilization or pathogenesis. I have to see the day. Yeah It's a tough call, but if it is a sexual reproduction how? well

What else is doing that there's other fucking creatures there was that fucking sting ray wasn't there paramecium paramecium Who's cell division? Maybe I don't know that's it. I don't know It's happening that says but man, these are swells. Sure. I'm no scientist They say it has happened with sharks before well, there you go. That's what it is That must be some old boys. I might have to have a nap historic Must be some old boys. I might have to have a nap historic You can't have a nap don't go to sleep if I got to do this fucking thing you got to do it man Come on So buddy, you don't want to leave your fucking car at the Berlin Airport. Let me tell you who anybody

Why you don't want to forget it there or because this one person? Yeah, you left it there all of a sudden sudden he didn't come back for a whole year. Guess what he's being charged? $209,124. Oh. Yeah, man. Was that the guy that did it though on purpose? No, man, no.

Kidding me, he was 200 grand. Why the fuck would he leave it there for a year? I don't know. Okay, I'm getting to that. It costs 11 bucks for 30 minutes. $23 per hour. What the fuck? $550 per day.

Well, I just saw a thing, there was a guy. We gotta open up an airport parking lot. $550 a day to park at the airport, man. Are you fucking kidding me? That's insane. Well, that's some crap, right? Germans, man, they gotta figure it out. But I saw a thing, there was a a guy His girlfriend was breaking up with him

So we went and bought like a dollar car shit box of a car and he registered in her name Yep, then he abandoned that at the airport. That's fucking great That's fucking she got stuck with a couple hundred grand didn't even know she owned a car I like that we're not getting out of it. Nope. You're not getting out of that one. They don't give a fuck. That's a dirty track. We should open up a parking lot, man. Why did I make this note?

We do need to build a parking lot. We do, man. We should buy a piece of land right at the airport. That's not so easy though, man. I mean, it's good thinking though, Rick. I like the way you're thinking there. So remember we're talking about that Brit Blue girl that had the 1,057 men or whatever?

Yeah. Well, there's another one, Lily Phillips. Really? Who's like trying to top it. Oh my God. And she's gonna throw the the back door challenge. She's adding it or is it all about the back door challenge? I think it's to try to outdo the just lack just the

back door. The front door is not open. I don't it doesn't sound like it. But good lord. That's a fucking wheels are coming off. Oh, yes, they're coming off in these events Wow, so you gotta beat the thousand but only in the back It wasn't a lot of detail, but you would think from the headline that yes, that's the plan It's a fucking versus take place like in a fucking arena or something or a banquet center, hotel, banquet? Madison Square Garden. Madison Square Garden? Where's this at?

It'd have to be somewhere probably soundproof I would think. No, no. And the women are like, it's not our fucking fault. The guys are creating demand for this. So I guess it's the guys' fault. I don't fucking know. Is there spectators at this thing? I don't know.

You up for it? Do you want to go fucking- No, I'm just saying like- Anticipate, spectate? It takes two to tango, they say. In this case, it takes a thousand to tango. Yeah. I don't know. That's a lot.

That's a lot to be watching. You up for a little back door challenge, bubs? What? You up for a little back door challenge? With you? No. No, I don't want any fucking part of it is Valentine's Day. No, there's nothing Valentine II about that It's for world record man. This is there's nothing Valentine II about getting drilled in the earth

Depends on the situation, isn't it? That doesn't scream Valentine to me. Holding hands at the lake with the swans. Some roses. Some roses. Those petals, path, and all that shit. Yeah. And music.

You got one long fucking hair that's hanging out. Get him. I don't know, I want to. I'm not looking at him. Get him. I don't wanna pick it. Why? I might hurt him.

Here, let's burn it. Where's the attack? No. I'll put it in your hand. Get over it, it's driving me nuts. I'm not looking at it, I'm getting it. I want to pick it. Why? It might hurt. Here, let's burn it. Where's the tag, no. I'll put it in your hand. Get over it, it's just a quick burn. No. Oh, now I can't see the fucking thing, it's gone. How'd that happen? This will be easy.

It's gone. No, I've got hair product. You got it, I guess. You got hair product, you want a light, okay. That was weird, I would have put this fucking fur. And now it's gone. You sure wasn't there. How far? It was about this fucking long. And now it's gone. You sure it wasn't here? Now fur?

I'm in the abyss. It was about this fucking long. It was a longy. I got some longies. All right. That was my nickname in high school. So I watched that show you told me to watch and it's fucking.

What show is that? Severance. Oh really, is it good? Oh yeah. It's fucking out there. It's a good one, isn't it? I think, I can't tell yet. I'm getting into it,? Yeah, it's fucking out there. That's a good one, isn't it? I think I can't tell you I'm getting into it, but man, it's complicated. No, it's not the head fuck. It is a head fuck. You know what it is No

Right, I've heard of it People work in an office building. Yeah, so you go, you know you have your life But then when you check into work you go, you know, you have your life. But then when you check into work, you go through this thing and it wipes your memory and then you go in and you're like, Oh yeah, I remember this is where I work. This is my office. But you don't remember anything about your anything about your other life on the outside. Then when you're checking out, they swap your do another thing.

And when you're outside, you're like, I don't have a fucking clue what I do for a living Are you serious? That's fucked up You think so? Yeah Season 2 just came out I think so I'm gonna be ready for it No, it's more it's like 4, season 4 Oh, okay. I fucked that bad Well, you can just keep watching it Ricky It says this woman delivered her baby a Krispy Kreme not sure why I wrote that down

She what? Delivered her baby? Delivered her baby a Krispy Kreme, not sure why I wrote that down. She what? Delivered her baby? Delivered her baby a Krispy Kreme and named him Glaze. Ah, Glaze! I'm trying to get this man. Krispy Kreme donuts, that's the only kind you can get is the glazed.

Hey! Krispy Kreme are fucking good donuts. Wish we had those here. Glaze. All right boys, I had a quiz we could play right now. Do we have time to do this? Quizmaster! Okay, can you guess the band's original name? Bubs?

Felix! God on ya. Okay, Queen. They used to be called Prince of the Universe, Opera, Mercury or Smile? Say them again? I just watched the goddamn movie, not that long ago. Prince of the Universe, Opera, Mercury, Smile. Say them again, I just watched the goddamn movie, not that long ago. Prince of the Universe, opera, mercury, smile. I think either mercury or smile. Smile or mercury.

Which, what are we saying? I'm gonna say, mercury, because Brian May is an astrophysicist. Wrong. Smile? Don't know. Pearl Jam. What do you mean there's no answer?

We'll find out at the end. Oh, we get them at the end? This is the end know. Pearl Jam. What do you mean there's no answer? We'll find out at the end. Oh we get them at the end? This is the end game. Pearl Jam. Is it Windows Sea, Velocity, The Rivets, or Green River? They weren't Green River. Sweet Children, Green Glow, The Rivets. I'm gonna go The Rivets, final answer. Green Glow. Which one? The Rivets.

Rivets? Wrong. Fuck! Oh, we only picked one? That's right. Oh, I thought we were... The Cranberries, okay. Were they the cranberries Okay, were they the shot glasses the cranberry sauce the blueberries or the mixed drinks? I'm gonna say the cranberry sauce. I'm gonna go mixed drinks mixed drinks I'm gonna go mixed drinks wrong cranberry

The goo-goo dolls were they the sex maggots the Mersin's the mannequins or the action figures? Oh the sex maggots. That's a great band name. Yeah, it sounds like a punk band though. Well I'm gonna say what was the third one the mannequins. I'm gonna say the mannequin Because dolls mannequins they go We're going for it good wrong fucking son of a whore right the cure were they they used to be the light the Light. Yeah, the answer or the seekers the answer

the answer Wrong fucking Jesus. So the games just fucking doing that. They're pecking similar words You're getting it wrong Nirvana you should know this the pen cap to euphoria Sweeter man or teen spirit. It's not gonna be teen spirit or euphoria Because that's they're loading that word in there to trick you. What were the other two sweater man or the pen cap to? I'm gonna say the pen cap chew because do it right nice Kurt Cobain was pretty fucked that sounds like an angel. Beast Boys

fuck Surf decks the pen diet tones the summer guys the surfers are the heat Pen Pendy tones what the fuck had a tone that it don't what are the other ones? Puddle tones the summer guys the surfers or the heat The summer guys paddle tones all right pedal tones Correct. Nice fuck. I like when you get an easier. All right journey Destination the travelers traffic or Golden Gate rhythm section Wow That's a weird name

I'm gonna say Golden Gate read. I'm such fuck that almost feels good should be it's correct Yeah, I knew it. Okay new kids in the block were they harmony Nine knock third period or kid town kid Harmony what the fuck is no Third period or kid town kid down Give me the other ones harmony What the fuck is no, I don't nine o'clock Nine o'clock. How do you spell it? NY and uk? NY and that's kind of fucked. They wouldn't be calling them. So that's fucked nine o'clock Third period harmony or kid town

Come on boys. Third period, wouldn't that sounds too hockey-like. I'd say it's Kid Town or Harmony. I don't think it was Harmony. I'm gonna, let's go Kid Town. Kid Town. Wrong. Fuck!

Okay, Sugar Ray, was it the sweets, added sugar, the shrinky drinks or the wedding party? I'm gonna say the wedding party Me too go with it then I'm saying wedding day correct Shrinky dinks. Yep drinks Oh Shrinky drinks Simon a garfunkel was a Tom and Jerry Paul in America Here and there or shirt and tie It was one of those. Yeah, must be Paul and earth You think they're here and there or here and there or shirt and tie. That sounds kind of fucked

Could be well, they were on drugs. So that's what I mean What are we saying? Name them again shirt and Tom and Jerry Paul and art here and there or shirt and tie. I Would if I was making a real guess, I would say here and there. All right. Okay. Wrong. It was the first one. Tom and Jerry? Yeah, man. Okay. The Bee Gees. Okay. The Rattlesnakes, the Buzzers, the Yellow Jack jackets, or the OGs. Can't be the OGs, that's no. The yellow jackets, don't know.

The buzzards. What? Rattlesnakes, this is fucked. I don't. That's weird. They must've been young as fuck whenever they were in this video. The yellow jackets, maybe.

Maybe the yellow jackets. What do you think, Bubs? Yellow jackets. Rattlesnakes or the yellow jackets. What do you think, Bubs? Yellow jackets. Rattlesnakes or the buzzards? Buzzards. That's fucked. Buzzards or buzzards? Buzzards, B-U-Z-Z-E-R-S.

Buzzards. That would be like a barbershop quartet, buzzards. Okay, well what the fuck we saying? Let's go with the yellow jackets. Wrong, it was the fucking first one. The buzzers. How do you know? Because it just, it comes up for a second, man. But when you're baked, you don't get it.

Knuck suckers. Blue oyster cult. The blue sky. Soft white underbelly. The shuckers or shell. Soft white underbelly. Soft White Underbelly is what I would say. Okay.

Correct. Go on there. The Supremes, were they the Rockets, the High Notes, the Primettas, or the Ladies? Primettas, Final Hater. Good one. Nice. Holy fuck, Van Halen, were they the Jumpsuits,

the Stagehands, the Rat Sal salad, or the Maximum Halen? Hmm. Rat salad? I don't know. I would think so. Yeah, try it. Correct. Yeah.

Fucking A. Nickelback. Jesus Christ, is this thing going to go on? I don't know, man. How long is this game going to go on for? I don't f— Do you want to stop? Well, I want to know the answers to the other ones now. Yeah, I know. Me too. Nickelback, you're going to have to stop. I don't know man game gonna go I don't do want to stop

Well, I want to know the answers to the other no nickel back. Is it Nick at time the loose change the village idiots or quarterback? I'd say the village idiots Probably they were young and thought it was funny. Yeah, correct. Yeah, see they'd be young Oh, let's call ourselves a village. Yeah, we got it. I'll be hilarious the black crows Murder of crows the dark crows mr. Crows garden or the flying crows What were they again murder of crows the dark crows mr. Crows garden the flying crows What are they actually called black black crows What are they actually called? The Black Crows.

Mr. Crows the Flying Crows? Murder of Crows. And they were like, nah, we can't do that. Murder of Crows. Let's do it. Wrong. It was the third one. I wonder what the fuck that was.

God damn it. Kiss. Monster Mash. Wicked Lester. The Nightmares are tongue lashing. Wicked Lester. Final answer. Nice one. It's still calm, man. This is the Wicked Lester, The Nightmares, or Tongue-Lashing? Wicked Lester, final answer. Nice one.

It's still going, man. This is the... How many are... I don't fucking know. I just pressed the buttons here. Radiohead, high frequency, on a Friday, earpiece or dialed in? On a Friday.

On a Friday? Sure. Correct. Wow. Well done. Tom York's not gonna use any of those other names. 55%. We're done? I think we're finished. We're done. Think fuck. Tom York's not going to use any of those other names. 55%. We're done? We finished it?

We're done. Think fuck. That was... But do we get to know the answers of the ones? No. Oh, for fuck's sake. That's the only reason I played. Want to go back and do it again? No. It doesn't give you the... Look, I'll show you. Do you want to see what happens?

We'll play again. I'm going to press start. I don't want to play again. Okay, so watch what happens when I press okay, so we'll say the Queen we'll see a smile Which is the wrong one? It's gonna come up with a check. Oh That was correct All right. Okay. We'll Pearl Jen. Here we go That was correct. I'm fucking guessing I'm getting all correct all correct here. Wrong, see? What? Okay, watch. What am I looking at? Wrong, it'll show a gray check

next to the one, one of the other ones. I didn't see it. Wow. Oh my God, here we go, see? Where? Fucking Jesus, Bubs. What? What, keep your eye on this man.

I'm looking. Be careful, they weren't the seekers, so this is the wrong answer. Watch, it'll come up with a check next to the right one. Watch. See? come up with a check next to the right one. Watch. See? I didn't even see you push the thing.

That's my fucking... See, that's the problem, Bubs. It's too fast. I'd have to write them down and say one, two, and three. Well, I thought when you got to the end, it was like the thing where you flipped the book upside down and all the correct answers were there. It's not. It's not. It's a fuck game. They need to... Groundcock Day happened, like what, a couple Sundays ago?

Yeah. I didn't hear about this. Wasn't that long ago, Ricky. It's February the 2nd, wasn't it? That's like, oh yeah. What? It's like 12 days ago. It was about two, yeah.

Anyway, I didn't know it was like this big controversy of Puck's to talk to Phil. Yeah. The who? They want to replace the little cocksucker with a fucking weather reveal cake. Oh, cake. Cut the cake and if it's blue, six more months winter, if it's

pink. Who decides what color was in the cake? Well, that's the thing. It's not fucking decided by the sun or the fucking groundhog. It's a goddamn the baker. What's his name? groundhog? What's the tux the fill? I Think this just like they're good at that continue on with this job. It's a hundred fucking 39th year Why would they replace him now with a cake? They're saying that you know, we didn't groundhogs are shy They don't like loud noises and it's fucking animal

Cruelty, I think he's probably treated like a goddamn god. He's probably there's more than him Did they've got other fucking groundhogs that are waking up to all over the world, right? Yeah I guess when they bring a big crowd down They as soon as he comes out of the hole they blast a fucking marine air horn in his face It was like 40,000 40,000 As soon as he comes out of the hole, they blast a fucking marine air horn in his face. There was like 40,000, 40,000. Grrr! 40,000 people showed up.

40,000 people. 40,000 people, and they all trying to get his autograph, touch his little fucking wiener. So, apparently he saw a shadow, so we're gonna have him six more weeks of winter. Why is that? Of course he's gonna see his fucking shadow, the sun's behind him.

Yeah, but there's no sun. He doesn't see his shadow in early spring. So you'd think if it's cloudy, it would mean fucking winter's bad. It's sunny. I don't know, I think they got it backwards, but maybe I'm fucked. Well, I am fucked.

You know what, I don't care about these fucking groundhogs, so no problem. You don't care about groundhogs. I don't give a these fucking groundhogs. So you don't care about groundhog fuck about what kind of What kind of a human says you know what it's I can tell when it's giving warm road I don't need a grand hog. Tell me what's going on. You know, you think we get banged up Yeah, we do this fucking guy goes to the hospital. He's got an eye infection They're like it seems like your vision is fine, but I just take these things Infection gets worse goes to get a CT scan

It's got a three inch section of a fucking Chopstick behind his eyeball. She said oh I saw that They're like how the fuck did that get to let you know? Well, I got fucking pretty drunk there a couple weekends ago on me and my buddy fell down Like I thought we got banged out How the fuck do you fall down and get a three inch piece of chopstick behind your eyeball and not realize it? So we probably just passed out, went to sleep,

woke up the next day. Woke up with an itchy eye. What the fuck? Okay, I'm hungover. It's fucked. It is fucked. All right, we need to go to the liquor store or else I don't need to have a buzz on for this date.

Okay. Who got born on February the 14th? Anybody interested? Nope. Rudolph Valentino Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer Jimmy Hoffa Jimmy Hoffa Where do you think he did they find him? He's in a fucking concrete Florence Henderson

You know, right, you know, it was on TV last night casino That's a good movie when they killed Joe Pesci at the end. Griselda Blanco. Who's that? The Colombian drug lord. Oh yeah. Sure, there's their famous quote. The only man I was ever afraid of

was a woman named Griselda Blanco. The fuck is he talking about? Teller from Penn and Teller. Teller. The fuck is he talking about? Teller from Penn and Teller. Teller. Roger Fisher, guitarist from Hurt. We can listen to a little Hurt, I guess. You know Penn Teller from Penn and Teller.

He married a lady named Bank. Enrico Colantoni. I like that guy. Who the fuck is he? Who is he? He's an actor. Very famous. What's his name? Enrico Colantoni. Okay. I like that guy. Who the fuck is he? Good fucking guy. Who is he? He's an actor. Very famous.

What's his name? Enrico Colantoni. Colanosti. Simon Pegg. He's a pretty funny cocksucker. Simon Pegg? Yeah. He's got a little short wooden bird.

Isn't this comedian and actor? What? Alright, can we finish up? Can we go to the liquor store now, Bubs? I'm taking a nap. No, you're not. I'm taking your truck, then. You take my truck. You see if you can get fucking sitting in my truck with those fucking muscles. I'm in there, man.

All right. You can't fit in that truck. All right, everybody. Cheers. Have a fucking Valentine's Day, everybody. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Hope you're not as lonely as these two. Send in your valentines to, as lonely as these two. Send in your Valentines to Swear-Net. To Muscle Valentine. Look, send in the person you're...

No, send a Valentine to Julian. Oh. And you. How about to you? To you. You need a Valentine. You need your muscles... I'm fine, man. ...massaged.

All right, cheers.