Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 49 - The Kids Aren't Alright

Episode Date: June 1, 2026

Ricky and Julian are battling some serious f**kin' sleep deprivation.... will the drugs work? Before they crash, they discuss getting banged up in North Korea, why modern movies suck, and judge some painful Drunk Lahey and Dummies of the Week. Plus: Kids today, eh?!!

What's going on? If you want to watch the video version of this podcast, mix one up and go to TPB Plus. How's it going, man? Just a second. Is that siren getting closer? I hope not. Ambulance anyway. Yeah, that's an ambulance. All right. Hey, okay, yeah, let's get this going, bud. Okay, man. What are we happening? First, we've got to do the...

Hey. This is the 25 of May? I don't know, man. Why does it... Dish? What does it matter, really? It's just trying to keep track of the month, man. It's going quick.

Okay, it's May something. It's nearing the end of the month. And this is Park After Dark. What's going on, everybody? Well, that was good. I was energetic. I know, man. I'm trying to get the energy going here

because I'm fucking... I don't know, man. I'm burnt out. Yeah. Last weekend, fuck me. And this weekend, instead of resting, went the other way. You really didn't do much, man.

You just sat here and drank. get high. That's what I mean. I didn't rest. Should have. How much sleep did you get, do you think, in the past fucking seven days? You know you're supposed to get like eight hours, right? Oh, I know. That doesn't happen. Unless I sleep in, but that doesn't happen.

Often. Okay, so how much, how much sleep do you think you... That's I average five. In the last two weeks. Because it's been two weeks of fucking like craziness, man. I've averaged four and a half to five. Four and a half hours, five hours a night. Yeah, not enough Remember this old nun

She was a nurse She used to say that five hours sleep is good But that was years ago Man, I don't think you can I don't think five hours is healthy It's not You need to solve Science apparently says eight

Eight hours of sleep And you try You gotta try to get like It's called the circadian thing going Yeah You got to get straight sleep man Yeah that doesn't happen You know what

Maybe that's why we're fucking run down. We haven't been sleeping, man. That's what it is. I don't want to fucking have to take sleeping pills and shit, so. Don't take sleeping pills, man. You'd see, you'd be, you're not good with that shit.

You'd be totally get addicted to them. You think? Well, yeah, man, you'd be taking because, you know what? Once you start taking them, you need them. Apparently you can't mix some of those with certain other things, which did I like in my life. Like, liquor?

Yeah. Mushrooms, maybe. it's a pill man stay away from this shit you know what we gotta do we just got to fucking what's the natural health shit you can take they say

what is it dm t no man do you see that shit with dn t what they're doing with the fucking laser thingies no oh yeah fuck man matrix

some shit going on you know what we gotta try to do that but i don't know if i don't know if i want to do with dm t what's up to you okay well this is what i'm saying man maybe maybe we could give you some but we can experiment it fucking blast at the wall you see if you can see codes and shit there is something you can take that's not a drug why is it sleep magnesium magnesium magnesium glycine there's and there's another thing too you take that pha tonin yes boom yeah maltotona melatonin melatonin Meltonin and magnesium. Melo licinate.

Melatonin. Melatonin? Melatonin. Okay. Fuck, man. I don't even, you know what? Can you get addicted to that?

No, man. That's all fucking natural shit. Melatonin, isn't that some shit that's in your brain? Well, yeah, yeah. But you don't want to take too much of that shit. Like I'm saying, your fucking body should make enough of that shit. You got to figure it with the root cause. You know what I'm saying?

That's the thing. fucking scramble too quickly and they start taking shit. You don't do that, man. All right. That's why this is important as well. You gotta have a pace going with this. It helps you sleep?

It does, actually. Okay. Good to know. Well, you don't want to, for most people, like, this can come aboard you. All right? And then you're into fucking, you're into lost town. You're fucked.

Then you're trying to get off it. I can't have. imagine being like that man you know what i mean people that have fucking stuff grabs and you can't get off it yeah stuff not a good not a good situation hmm like i don't crave it or anything it's just you just can't live without it well i just enjoy it man i don't i can function what's the longest you've gone without a drink it's probably hours not days well it's that you know what it might not even be hours, really. Well, you sleep?

Well, yeah. Do you ever get up in the middle of the night and have a drink? Fuck, a few times. Really? Yeah, man. Okay. Get up, have a sip. Maybe go take a whiz, crack one, come back, go to sleep.

Wow. But it's usually, you know what? And what time in the morning do you start? Is it a breakfast thing? It's like a wake up. Some people wake up and brush their teeth. I wake up and mix a drink. Well, I know you don't drink coffee.

All right. It's the same thing, but it's... But you've got the same steady buzz going. Yeah, man. But you know what slows me now? Smok a dope. You slow me down. You slow me down. Is that good or bad? I don't know.

I don't know, man. You tell me. What the fuck? All right, let's get off this conversation. Okay. Making it sound like I fucking have a problem or something. No, man. No, I never said that. I love it. Okay, man. I'm glad. you love it.

What are you doing over there? Just clicking up some fucking... We got some stories here, man. We got shit going on. Yeah? What are we thinking? Oh, fuck, China. You know what?

You got to... It must be like a different planet there, man. You know what I mean? It is. I've never... I keep hearing shit about it and I'm like, whoa, man. You're like, you're in the future there. Where are you going with this, pal?

They built a horizontal fucking skyscraper, man. Wow. You know what? 250 fucking meters above the ground. It's like that. I saw years ago that they were planning it, but they actually pulled it off. Did they? They built it.

Man, that's an engineering... Phenomeno, man. It's like you walk, you can be walking straight down this. It's like you go up. There's a bunch of, there's four hours. But six towers. connecting this fucking thing. It looks like a big train up in the sky.

I'd like to go see that. Me too, man. I don't know. I don't know if I could fucking live... I guess there's a lot of food I could eat there, huh? You would not do well, I don't think. Did you say China or Japan? China.

Oh, yeah, you like Chinese food? Chicken balls and fucking... I don't have to have that stuff. Right? I love rice, man. I just don't like the shrimp and shit like that in it, man. If you like rice, I think you're good. So you can turn into...

vegetarian rice no man i gotta eat meat what scares the fuck into me you hear about the hana virus or whatever is a antivirus hand virus that is a scary fucking thing oh man that's like my worst

fucking nightmare what is longhorn tick those motherfuckers what is that where it comes there's a long horn tick that's like coming in from the united states there's someone that just brought one here and it carries the antivirus

It carries this fucking virus that You can't eat meat or dairy Again Oh wow You can go in like an anaphylox Fucking shock if you eat meat Fuck What would I do, man?

I don't know I gotta eat fucking meat man I was done I would try to find someone To give you assisted suicide Fuck vegetables and shit Well I might have to Because I mean I like potatoes

The rest of it can all fuck off I have carrots maybe Yeah, you without meat would be Laus But holy shit man I'd have to eat fucking beans Legumes Fuck that's shit

I don't like beans man Not a chili guy either I don't like fucking chili All right You know I think I'm too high for this fucking I'm rambling on about shit man It's like the cameras aren't even on Maybe they aren't

I hope they aren't Should we start it again? it's your thing I'm just here as your sidekick I don't like being

I don't want a sidekick I want to be the sidekick I'm not good at running the show anyway okay so this fucking tech you get bit by and start sucking the shit out of you all of a sudden

you you're allergic to fucking meat and dairy bud that's a double whammy that's a it's horrible man and you eat meat after this fucking thing's been on you?

You're getting sick. You could die. I don't understand how it works. Virus is, I don't like it. Shit. It's like, the world's fucked. We've got to fix it, man. It could be a lot worse.

We've got to try to fix it. Man, I was reading this stuff about North Korea. God. What's happening over there now? Just some things that are criminal offenses in North Korea that might shock. you're a little bit. Okay, like what?

Getting online like you're doing right now. Yeah? You could go to jail for that, right? Okay. Or you could get executed. Executed if you're going online. Consuming foreign media, like books, music, movies, TV, any of it? Jail or work camp or executed.

So you're not allowed to learn shit? You're not allowed to watch anything that's not... Not allowed to learn about the world other than what the shit they give you, okay? Making phone calls. Most people don't have phones, but if you somehow made a phone call and you called the wrong person by accident, you can be executed. Whoa. So there's no prank calling going on over there for sure? Definitely not.

Fuck, man. That's lame. Wearing jeans. What? Yeah. Too Western. Exactly. This is a weird one.

Getting a haircut. You can get one. There's only 28 legal haircuts. 18 for women and 10 for men. Whoa. You have to choose one of those. I'd like to see these. I'd like to see the fucking pictures of the different haircuts.

And if you have a haircut that isn't one of these legal haircuts, death. Just for the shitty haircut. If you want to change the style of your haircut, if you want to go from legal number four or legal number six, you need to get a permit to do that. A fucking permit. Yeah. Owning a microwave.

No go? No. Choosing your job? No. The government chooses it for you. Wow. Driving. Not allowed to drive unless you're a senior government official. Oh my God. And you must be a man. What? Yep. Deciding where to live? Nope. The government decides for you and it's usually close to where you work. All right. You know what? This is fucked. Disrespecting the Kim family. You're required to hang portraits of all three of the latest leaders. What? You have to keep them clean. And if there's a fire, you have to save the portraits before your children or anything else.

Whoa. In 2020, this mother, she went to jail because she saved her kids, not the portraits from a fire. Whoa. You know what? This is what I like to see. Like a fucking reality show. How long would you and I last? there before either dying or being thrown in jail I'd say within 25 minutes of landing we'd be in

jail I was thinking for something we didn't even mean to a bitch at 15 we'd be for arriving we'd make we would make it out of the airport got a chance I don't know if we'd make it out of fucking customs well you'd be okay you wouldn't have jeans on I could be fucked there what else is you should wear some jean shorts jean shorts Can you imagine? I don't even know Can we go there? I'm not sure.

I'm afraid to. So, so they all, well, you know what I noticed? A lot of the fucking younger generation, they got the same

fucking haircut air anyway. They all look the same, man. Yeah. They got the little fucking kind of curly shit going that's,

I don't know, man. Perm mullets weren't for a bit. Mullets? Permed ones, yeah. Permed mullets.

Yeah. That's like the Gino Vanelli, man. I never thought of that. You know what we got to do? What? I got to fucking laugh, man. We're talking about too much shit. Okay, good idea.

It's time to fucking get on the drunk and the dumb of the week, man. Yep. And we've got a guy on the sidewalk walking, stumbling backwards. He's going side to side. He's going to, oh, now he's going, oh, he's going forward. He's going backward. This guy, he's mostly backwards. Oh, and he's got the lead.

Is he on an incline as well? I think he is. It's a slight incline. Oh, yeah, that is an incline. Look. It's not much of one. Wow. Okay, he's got that pole.

Now is he, oh, fuck, he. He went ahead and then way back. He's some happy, though, isn't he? He has not gained an inch. No, that is drunk, man. Fuck, I have not been that wasted in a long time. this fucked up and

and I like the soundtrack I like what time of the day is this is still going this guy's like how is he still upright afternoon drinking man okay this guy I like this guy

now he's lost ground no he's shaking his head further back than from where he started here we go he's going he's going he's

he just can't make it can't do it You know what? Props that he didn't fall over. Yeah. Like that's fucking amazing. You know what? I can't do it.

I got to sit down. I like that guy. Okay. What's this guy doing? It's going to. Bingo. Dirt. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Right through a fence. It's right up again. Over a cement wall. Down some stairs. Fucking. Oh, man.

It didn't mess a step, though, man. That's a nasty fall. Police, yeah. Okay. This guy's... Oh, this is a cop. This is drunk. I think it might be Mexico.

It looks like Mexico. And he's the driver. Yeah. So this police officer. I don't know. There's two, both in the parties. I can barely walk. Get into someone else's car.

Oh, get in the wrong car. Oh, he's down. And this guy, yeah. How the fuck is he driving? Wow. That was insane. Got to like Mexico, man. That's all the drums.

That's the three. Man, I don't know. It's fucked that that police officer was driving and that wasted. We can't give one to the cops. No, I like fucking... Number two, the fall was spectacular. That was awesome. But I think I liked the first guy.

The first guy for me as well. And that was like... Dedication and just not giving up, not falling down. And just realizing he could not. It was like a short film on drunkenness. Yeah. It lasts a long time. His balance was impressive.

Unbelievable, man. I think he's our Leahy drunk of the week. All right, the drunk of the week is the first guy. Yeah. Well done, sir. You go, man. You've got fucking humor. I would love to meet you some day and get wasted.

And he looked happy. You got it like a happy drunk. Okay. Now it's the dummy of the week, isn't it? Is that what we... Okay, this guy, all right. He's already... Oh, I've done that.

fucked up. Trying to scale between two walls going up. Dude. So how are you going to get down? Oh yeah, this is going to go. Like, no, dude. This is getting at the point where it's going to hurt. And I mean, I've done it in people's houses up here.

He's not this high. He's, what, like 15 feet in the air now, 20 feet? Oh, yeah. Oh, he's, yeah, this is not going to end well. Like, fuck, dude. All right. We're just waiting. We know he's going to fall.

Oh, my God. You scare me, kid. Yeah. He's about 20 feet in the air now. And he's going to go fucking flat down on his face. From 20 feet, he's fucking breaking something. For sure.

He's fucking, he's right there. Oh, there's... Oh, fuck. I felt down, man. Definitely broke legs, and he looked like his chin made. Oh, that was a bad one. What an idiot. Fuck.

That was tough to watch, man. Yeah, that, fuck. I don't know if it was the buzz on or... All right, here comes number two. Dude, get this dummy, fucking... Three Dixon, BMW. Trying to do some fucking donuts and the... Oh, yeah.

Oh. What was that the oil pan? Yeah. Oh, yeah, fucked her. He just busted your freaking intercooler? Oh, I don't think this is a radiator. No, it's worse than the radiator, dude. Yeah.

Don't try to start it. Oh, it's fucked. Dumb? Yeah, that was pretty dumb. Fuck, people are dumb, man. This guy's on it. What is he on? This is that fuck Jerry.

Whoa. What the fuck was he trying to do? Exactly. What? Like, there's not even enough room. What the fuck was he thinking, trying to jump this rant into a building? Whoa, and you did a wheelie. Are you okay?

Off the jump. No, you're dumb. Seth, are you okay? That was. Okay, that was fucking dumb. That was dumb, but not as dumb as the fucking Spider-Man. No. That third guy is dumb, and probably got hurt a little.

The guy had the-to-beamer. Dumb. He was just inexperienced. I get it, but I don't know why he would. Fuck, why take the chance and go that high? Like, you proved your fucking point 10 feet lower. Was he trying to get to the top, I guess? I don't know.

I don't think he had a game, man. What the fuck? Oh, yeah. Yeah, his knees, everything's fucked there. This fucking head hit pretty hard too, hey? Dumb! Yeah, you, unfortunately, you're the dummy of the week and probably, God, there must have been some damage. There's a lot of damage, but...

20-foot fucking fall. At least 20 feet. I fall off the top of the trailer. What's that at 10? That still hurts, a lot. Yeah, no kidding. But, you know what? But I think there's something to do it when you're at least wasted and you fall off.

off, I don't think you get hurt as bad sometimes because you're just like... I don't think he was wasted. No, that guy wasn't wasted. He's in pain. He's probably still in the fucking hospital. Dumbass. Fuck.

Okay, but, all right. I don't think he could have fallen any worse. What are you saying? You know what we should talk about? I don't know. I'm afraid. You should be fucking afraid. Well, nothing that's going to hurt my brain too much. No, you know what?

what we're gonna fucking we're gonna put simple shit a positive well this i don't know if this is simple man fuck did you hear fucking the like the music that you can hear now that it's just like ai music what do you mean there's fucking music that are that's making like you don't got to be a musician or an artist or anything anymore you just type it in oh you know what what i think uh mo was telling me Was there some song, like, Celebration to me? The who? I don't know. He said that this song was fucking not real.

And I'm like, well, it sounds real. He goes, yeah, but it was made by. Fucking AI, bud. So they can make their own songs now? Yeah, man. They can make their own fucking movies. You can watch a clip and swear to fuck. But what makes the computer say, you know what?

I'm going to write a song today. No, you got to, as a human, you got to say, hey, dude, I want a song. Like a pop song or a fucking heavy metal. So it helps a person write a song. Yeah. And this is, I mean, this is what it sounded like. This is, like, you know what? What the fuck?

Your internet is fucked. Never claimed that it wasn't. Okay, I got it. I think I got it. I'm not hearing anything. See, so is there like hit songs? There's like a hit.

There's like a fucking billboard top 100 songs or whatever. Anyway I'd be a I don't know man I don't know man Then what happens So you got The number one song

You can't go see the fucking person in concert No but you could They can watch You can watch fucking Videos man Whether you can do You can go watch a fucking rock show Or you know what I mean

But that's what I'm saying man Kids are fucked these days Like it might not matter to you and I But to kids This is the way they're growing up man They're growing up man They're growing up in this world and I'm worried about it

I don't know but should we be worried about it Okay like It's a double-edge cock You and I We like movies like the Goodfellow Goodfellas right Scarface Great movie, yeah

Pulpiction Right And we were like fuck yeah You know De Niro's in that movie Or El Pacino's in that movie Yeah Who's in the movies these days I mean you get Leonardo DiCaprio

Right It could be called Like one of the grace maybe but he's not like the narrow on those guys man not the way we grew up up no so what are kids to have these days they're fast and the furious I don't know what was the last

really good movie that we saw it's all this fucking there was that Leonardo that was that was on you know what was the one that won bunch of fucking awards one fucked up battle out yeah yeah yeah but that wasn't you know what I was that wasn't like fucking everyone was hyping it up I was like

nobody watched that wasn't like Heat, you know what I mean? Like heat. Yeah. The shootout and that, give me a break. Nobody fucking watches movies anymore. Nobody watches movies anymore, man. What's going on?

The intention span. They're not even watching movies in jail, man. They're watching fucking shows. Yeah. Big Bang Theory and all... I don't know, man. I'm on the fence because, you know, this AI shit could help you a little bit.

Well, no, it's definitely helping people out because, you know what? There's a lot of stupid people out there right now and they need fucking help. But could I write songs with it? Yeah. Then I'm, I think that's kind of cool. All right.

You know, that's the, that's the positive. It's going to take over the world. Like, I don't want to listen to just songs that are written by. Here's one. This one's going to work, man. Kitchen dreams just a spin. They'll ride the way, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. And let's see, euphoria together with brave, brave, brave, frame.

Oh, and at the frost a night, the DJ's on the ass. What do you think, man? Look. Making me groove. I mean, this sounds like just raves shit, man. With the right buzz on, maybe that's the thing. Yeah, maybe. What kind of drugs are kids on these days?

Yeah, but it must be the country songs, rock songs. Shit, too, no? There's... Do you want to hear a country song? Bring it on, baby. All right. We're going to go to... Nothing too romantic.

What do you mean? No, you know. You get weird with romantic country songs. What are you talking about, man? That'll get fucking weird. Country. You're all teary-eyed and shit. I don't...

Talk about... Not once. Stucked in mud and big engines. Fuck, I don't do that, man. Country AI. Okay, here we go, bud. Do you want to hear some country AI? I don't know if I do or if I don't.

I don't even know, you know what, I'm not even a, I'm not even a country fucking, I don't even like country music, I don't think. Maybe I do, I don't know. I can't find any. Chiprick, you find any country AI up in the, fuckerick. You used to crank country a while ago, a little Alabama. What was that, you know what, there's one fucking tune that we used to listen to back in the day. Yeah. I'm in no hurry.

I'm in a hurry. I'm in a hurry. Is that what it is? This one might be one. Country girls make do. It's definitely AI generating video. All right. Okay.

That's all AI. Really? That chick? That's, she doesn't exist. Come on. What the fuck? What the fuck is this? See, is this what people are listening to?

I don't know. This is. Wow man see like chipper of course you'd like throw something like this up man Okay that was that was like um All right kind of a fun so dude definitely made that video It's definitely not gonna be on the billboards the video might be and it's all in the I guess it's what they call the prompts So that person wasn't real no man that was just fucking AI Artificial intelligence now I'm a little bit worried

Well, or maybe it's good. I don't know. It's hard to tell him, man. It's going to be a weird next 10 years. You'll be like, what's real and what's not? And how do you know? It's going to be a weird next fucking... It's going to be like having a buzz on 24 hours of days.

You're like, fuck, is this real? So you know what we got to do? What? We can't change. We got to stay the same, man. You know what I mean? So don't embrace it? I don't think we should, man.

Well, maybe. Will there ever be a good movie made again? I don't think there's ever going to be another good movie made again, and I'm serious. What was the last good one? Actually, there might be because Scorsese, he's still fucking making. I've got faith in him, man. You know what I mean? All right.

He's going to make another good movie. I was on it out there for me. I know. That's what I want. I want to watch a good... But you know what? I don't even fucking watch movies anymore. I like that one.

It was a while back now. the those banshees guys from imaging and heap or what was it what who imaging and heap they were banshees and the fingers got cut off and banshees is that a show there's a show called banshees man

no it was a movie but it doesn't matter I just thought it was good well what fucking movie was a man because maybe we'll maybe we should maybe watch a movie I almost the last time he watched a movie I don't watch him anymore Yeah I know it's true

We're getting sucked into this I wouldn't want to own one of those right now No man It's sad It's like so fucking movie theater was awesome You can sneak in when it was busy But right now Don't know man

How many bases did you get to Banshees of Inersherin Is that how you say it? You tell me The one in fucking Ireland Yeah man That was good I liked that movie

Yeah that was good Anyway, you know what? If anybody out there knows of a good movie, write it and tell us, we want to watch like a good, fucking, like a Goodfellas movie, man. Okay. Crime. Mob bosses.

All right. People love that shit. Al Capone. Let's get a good Al Capone movie going. This is a weird generation. People don't give a shit about people like Al Capone anymore. Remember how we stole the school bus a couple times? Yeah.

We got a bit of trouble for that. Guarantee you, there's not many kids stealing school buses. When the last time you heard of someone siphon and gas? I know. Kids are too lazy to siphon gas these days. Well, there's a 14-year-old fellow over in Norway who stole a fucking, like a city bus. Went on a joy ride for 200 miles before the cops caught him. And he spent most of the time just uploading videos on social media.

It's like... While he's on the bus. Like when we stole a bus, it was just fucking good times. We didn't need more attention. attention and school fucking off-road it totally now you're making it's all for content yeah like fuck it's just all about views and likes anyway that's that's a third third offense and he's 14 and he's going to go to jail and he probably didn't make any fucking much churched it's because he's too young in norway they're like oh he's young fuck him how old was he 14 yeah he's not good

Third offense. And in Norway? No, man, they're pretty... It's pretty chill in Norway, remember? I like that. There's not a lot of fucking, a lot of lot of bullshit going on up there. Pretty chilled. Yeah, I didn't really enjoy Norway. Well, we'd end up in jail within minutes. We got to see Crosby Stills and Ash. Was that in Norway, or was that somewhere else? Was that?

Amsterdam. Oh, fuck! That was in Amsterdam. Yeah, Amsterdam. Do people even want to go to Amsterdam now? Like kids, like, that's what I'm saying. Kids and everything's legal here. I'm not from Canada. It's no point. We always dreamed that we had, like, Amsterdam was like her fucking Disneyland.

It's like a fucking fantasy. We'll say this. If you were a hashish connoisseur, Canada is very disappointed, but I think most of it's made here. And it's not like. It's like weed hash. We want the, we have a Afghani stuff. Yeah. It's like the green selection.

Black on the outside and like a dirt ground in the middle. Yeah They know what they're doing All right You know what We're just fucking ramling We're on a boat Like hash now

We gotta go We gotta do something We're rambling Rambling Rambling We're rambling again Bud All right

We'll be better Prepared next week We'll be better prepared We're gonna fucking We're gonna make it Look like this podcast It's professional Soon

Really? It's yeah man It's still it works I believe It when it happens Have faith in us Right That's all we can ask

Because you gotta have Faith All right, on that, see you later. Love you, fuckers. Cheers. If you'd like to see the video version of this podcast, go to trailerparkboysplus.com and subscribe.