Trailer Park Boys Presents: Park After Dark - Episode 52 - Hash For Cash

Episode Date: June 22, 2026

Ricky's had enough of f**kin' Randy and his rent demands, he's moving outta Sunnyvale! But to where? Julian's gift for Mo arrives in the mail, and there's some inspiring Drunk Laheys of the Week. Plus: F**k IPOs and pensions... put your cash in cockroaches!

What's up fuckers? If you like to see the video version of this podcast, go to trailer parkboysplus.com and subscribe. The fuck you! Get the fuck off my property! Oh, I'm fucking done, man. What's the problem? What's the problem? You want to move out of the park? Yep. Fuck Randy. Rick, I'm trying to get the show going here. Sit down, mix up a drink. Hey everybody, welcome to park after dark. I'm Julian. Ricky, sit the fuck down, mix up a drink. Does a cow shit on the moon when he jumps over it? Yes. Like, fuck Randy. You won't fucking take drugs for cash for rent anymore.

And you think it's gonna be a lot easier living out in the fucking woods? Where the fuck am I gonna come up for 350 bucks by Friday? All right, we're gonna get into this shit a bit later, alright? But I'll help you, Matt. I gotta plan for that shit. Fucking Randy. So, good news, but, that little gift you wanted me. Well, actually you insist that I fucking order.

few online for Mo. Oh, the fucking gun? Yeah. No way. It's in? It's in. And it wasn't 1995. It will have was. It said 20 bucks. Yeah, 1999. But after the fucking taxes and delivering all that shit and whatever the fuck else, border charges, I don't know, man. Came to 67 bucks. You owe me $67.67. $67 for a little tiny gun. Well, it was a lot. It's even like, this is, this is pathetic. Okay, this is not good. You're going to have to get him another gift.

Oh, man, what are you talking about? It was way more fucking fancy. I don't even have the video for what this thing's supposed to look like. It looked fucking awesome. Yeah, it looks awesome, but check that out. What the fuck? What the fuck is this? It's the gun, man.

What? Like, the thing looked like it had stainless steel parts on it. It was like all... Look, fucking. Look, it's got in the holster. You're shooting elastic bands. What the... These are fucking people that have braces or something.

when you put in your teeth that's what it looks like man I don't try to get it going you try to get it going first and if you want the fucking instructions this is fucking not what I was expected it's all like symbols and fucking characters and shit man okay I got it loaded I think okay well shoot it

it went over here did it bounce off that where it go it hit me man I didn't see it maybe it is good it's not good it's not $67 it's not even fucking night 1995 good. Oh, yeah.

It shoots, but it's not great. All right. You know what? Do you think Mo? This isn't even worth $195. This is a fucking $4 or $5. No shit. God damn.

You want me $67. I do like that it folds up and keep it on your belt, but it's not going to do any damage. Yeah, yeah, no, but guess it? Do you still take dope for cash? You want to use this on somebody? It's attached your fucking belt. You know what I mean? If that's what you mean?

Or, like, what the fuck? Well, I thought he could carry it with them. and if you got in any trouble, he could fucking shoot someone in the eye. Yeah, but that's not going to take out an eye. It's a fucking key, that's a fucking key, man. He'll hit someone in the eye until they start laughing.

No, that's looking, he's going to get beat up, man. You got to... Fuck. ...ifference of his oldest, he'd carry a real gun. He's not going to, well... Anyway. A lot better than this fucking thing. You know, it actually goes all right.

What a fucking great day. This is turning out. Well, you know what? Mo's going to like it. If you kicked out of the par, I'm fucking leaving anyway. Fuck Randy. And now Mo's going to be super disappointed with this.

You know what? You've got to stop talking about it for a second. We're going to get into that shit later. He was two years younger. You might think this is cool. I know, but you know what? We've got to flip this into, it's going to be a good. He's going to love the fucking thing.

You know, Mo. He's going to look at the thing. I need something to fucking positive, man. Because this is not a good day so far. All right. Well, you got to look at all this other shit going on in the world, man. Because there's a lot of stupid shit. there. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, man. Well, I did fucking, there's this thing in Australia that gave me an idea that we can maybe make some money. Okay. Australia? Yeah. Australian police seized more than 100,000 cockroaches at illegal bug firm worth 150 grand. How many?

So maybe we start breeding fucking cockroaches. All right. How many cockroaches for 150 grand or 100 grand? It said 100,000, so I don't know if that means for like a dollar. or 50 each. So it's 150,000. Yeah. I don't know if that's Australian dollars or American dollars.

What do they have some money down here? We were there. We were there. $1.80. Pesos or rebis. Sorry, I lost it. I went down a weird hole there. All right.

So we need 100,000 cockroaches. It'll give you $150,000. That's $1.50 a cockroach. But I don't know if it's illegal in Canada because it's legal there because it's illegal there. As Australian, all these crazy bio-shit laws

that they're trying to protect their ecological systems or whatever they are. So they don't allow anything. Because these fucking cockroaches, there's a couple different ones, ones, one's from South America. Then there's these Madagascar,

hissing cockroaches. This size your fucking palm. Oh, no shit. All right, so what? People breed these fucking things, you know, for food. So for a fuck. Lizards and shit?

Well, you can milk the motherfuckers, too. In the milk is way better than any of A cockroach. How much? I think two or three bucks a cockroach. Two or three bucks a cockroach. Well, that's a big fucking roach right there, man. That's what I see a lizard for... Where the fuck do you get these cockroaches?

I think... Where's Madagascar? I know there was a really good movie made with a bunch of animals in it. That was a fucking cartoon, man. Just a second. Is it Africa? Just a second.

Where can you find Madagascar hissing cockroaches? Is it? Florida. I'm baked. I'm sorry, just a second. Okay. Cuba?

Probably Cuba. Now you're getting to a warm climate and Cuba? No, I don't think so, man. I think these are African cockroaches. Okay, you can get them. Oh, man, they hide under rotting logs, leaf litter. So you've got to be, if you wanted that, like 150 cockroaches in here, you've got to turn this into like a jungle. Oh, I can breed the motherfuckers.

Well, you can put old rotten logs. Yeah, get them. Leaf litter and fucking decay and wood. That's where the cockroaches thrive. I don't love cockroaches. And these, if they're called a hissing cockroach, like, do they hiss? I don't want to fucking shit hissing at me. They're fucking hiss, man.

Do, okay, you know what? I don't like when geese hiss at me. I don't like hiss and shit. Well, we're going to see one. They're fucking, they're not a, some people have them as pets. I guess I can have pet cockroachers. I don't know, man. People that have cockroaches hissing cockpets.

cockroaches, pets are fucked in the head, man. Straight up. Okay, I guess I won't. Okay, just a second. You have a hundred thousand of the fucking things hissing? That'd be a loud hiss. Let's see an image of the Madagascar hissing fucking cockroach. If you got a video, man, that'd be great.

Okay. From what I could, I've seen a video before of these things, man, because they actually go, Jesus Christ. And they're little fucking bugs, man. You're like, what the, you can't tell them to shut up. Anyway, these 100,000 are going to be... Oopanumbenized. They're going to be what?

Uphanized. Killed. Killed. Yeah. No fucking way. That's a hissing cockroach. See, I don't know if I want 100,000 those in my trailer. That would fuck you, Randy.

Yeah, you know what? Nobody... I'd like to fucking have 100,000 of these when I'm abandoned in this place. And Randy walks in for the first time. There's 100,000. Those cock sucks in here hissing at him? Oh, that would fucking love to be your friend.

fly on the cock sucker. Yeah. I'm going to have to grow them outdoors. Outdoors, man. I'm going to build a big fucking dome, jungle dome for cockroach. I don't know. What? What are the materials for your

jungle dome? And how the fuck do you think you're going to be able to build something that's going to even look like a dome? I will need people that help with that. Like me? A giant tent.

You know what? domes we were in Montreal we saw that big fucking dome thing what is it the expo the Olympics thing yeah you look at that man and it's not that hard

it's like a fucking like a stop sign shape or something you need a bunch of those okay right and then you fucking put them together geodome the what I don't know making up shit

the shit the what do the Juno do Geo, Gio, man. Geo dome. Yeah. Wow, man,

that was kind of right. All right, so no cockroach farming? We'll think about it. Wherever I end up living, I'm going to have a second lot, and I'm going to have a cockroach firm there, maybe. I don't know.

I've got to do more investigation. I don't know if there's a lot of lizards over here. They eat the fucking things. That's fucking salamanders, man. Oh, yeah? I don't know if they're eating a hissing cockroach. I don't think anything's eating a hiss and cockroach. A snake. Maybe a snake. Yeah, that fucking owls. We've got a lot of owls around here.

There's not a lot of pet owls. We need to sell them. Ows not going to fly down off the tree. Give me three bucks. Why are we talking about fucking owls? What happened there? Oh, fuck. All right. You know what? What, man? I think you've got a good idea. Maybe we'll do it. I don't know. We'll see. You know what's really fucked up? I don't really want to go to Madagascar right now.

You know what? You would probably make it to Madagascar if that was what you wanted to do. You're one of those guys. Yeah. That's set, you're like fucking Forrest Gump. Horace. Who? Forrest Gump.

Oh, that guy. You know the fucking Tom Hanks dude. Yeah. See, you do shit that, like, I don't know, man. I'm too hot. Well, thank you, man. I'm just saying you're good. You're good.

You're good of getting things done. A fucking piece of shit Fuck you No it's gonna be good No one's gonna like that fuck a thing Who else has got one of those things No one else is buying those things Why would they

Well You want to Whoever the fuck Is thinking about buying One of these Fucking things Don't do it Don't do it

All right We just did her Okay we did it Yeah All right you know what we got to do What Drunk of the week Down with it

That might cheer me up All right Okay What the fuck Wow, this, I don't know if this is drunk or just bath salts. Well, they are both. Well, you know what? That's a, that hedge is like a magnet, drunkenness.

See, that's what I want in life. What's going on there is what I want. You want to buzz on where you can. I want to, I'm just drunk. Looks like you're on vacation with your girl. She can't stand. And you're wasted and you're just lying back going, fuck yeah, I am. Okay, he's gonna try to stand up.

And I don't give a fuck. He's using her support. Come on, baby. Whoa. Like, they have no balance. You know what? They're having a fucking good time though, aren't they? I guess if they're not hurt.

That is love. Match up falling in a hedge and you can't get out of it. That's a fucking good buzz on. I don't know. It could have been more than liquor there. Eh, maybe. Not sure. Was this person just wasted laying on the sidewalk painting,

painting a curb, I guess? What is the person? Is he sleeping? Is he snoring while he's doing that? Is he at work? This wasted? He's asleep. He's snoring and he's still painting.

Yeah. Wow. I love this person. I need to know more. He's still working. He's definitely a contender. That's something you do. I've obviously done ever.

Well, yeah, if you got a job painting. When I pass out, I don't continue to do tasks. That's fucking. this guy's trying to get his key I've been here before this is tough you just can't get the key in the way that's fucking awesome

to me that was the most real I've been there where you just can't get your fucking key into the lock you're trying so fucking hard I used to do that all the time with the car remember when cars only unlocked with keys yeah but you never locked your fucking car. I don't know why you'd always try to unlock it. Well, if I had drugs in it, I did. And if you get banged up, you're trying to fucking get in there. All right, so,

I mean, drunk of the week. What are you thinking? Number two, number three, hedges. See, the hedges I like, but that's just, that to me is like a, I don't know, there might be more going on there than just booze. Maybe. I don't know, man. They just don't drink a lot. Yeah, you mean. That was, that was nice, man. So you like that one, does it? Well, yeah, man, there's not enough

fucking happiness like that out there these days. Where you're both banged up together. Just so wasted. It's just a loving, touching video, man. All right. I like them all. Okay, I'm going to go with Buddy. I'm going to go with Buddy painting.

Like, that was unbelievable. Like, he's past, he's drunk, snoring. But he's still painting. He's on like, Okay, I really like the key one, but I'll go with painting too. I like that that's a that's a the fact that you could pass out all work and continue to work and continue to work Yeah, I've had her buddy get drunk every day. Congratulations. I love you. You are the lady drunk of the week Here we go for the Dumb of the week

All right dummies. Oh, okay. Oh Oh Holy God Why did why would you go on a swing set try to do Wait, you know what? I think that was a setup, man. Does he, or doesn't he fucking scream? What are they?

The parallel bars? I think he screams. He's yelling before he fucking hits the day. We've got to look at it again. Fuck, those guys, I'm telling you, those guys are fucking pain sluts. So it's intentional, I guess? Oh, yeah, it's intentional. Okay.

Okay, here we go. Yeah. I see a yell before he hits. Maybe he just knows what's going to happen. Maybe he's wearing a cup. I don't know. It's a tough. It's definitely attention.

Oh, see? I mean, he's dumb for wanting to do it, but it's not like a fuck-up. He did it intentionally. Yeah, man. But, you know, it's got to hurt the knife. That's dumb. It's dumb. It's very fucking dumb.

Agreed. It's very dumb. It's right. Here we go. Number two. Whoa. So this woman didn't see the glass and walked right in court? Oh, she walked into another...

What the fuck is she doing? She's trying to get out. Oh, my God. She thinks it's all... There we go. Holy fuck. How many times does someone have to do that? Like, rock your head.

How about touch the fucking thing and see if the window is real or if it's... You can get out? You know what it is? Okay. She's going to be tough to beat. Yeah, she just got caught. Like, there was people fucking watching her, and she was embarrassed, man. It was awkward.

What she did? I could see once. She did three fucking times, didn't she? I was fucking done. Maybe she was high. Really high. Yeah, that's true.

What the fuck is going on here? This guy's trying to climb around a brick wall? No, he's in a tree. Oh, there we go. Oh, he's trying to shake the cat. Oh, that was a good fall, man. Okay, now I can see it. He was in a tree trying to save a cat,

and he fucking climbs it on a branch. Branch, does a branch snop, or he just falls out with the cat? Cat falls. He falls. Holy fuck. He put too much weight on the left arm. Right arm. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Start the fall, grab the branch, full weight. Down he went. What a dumb fuck. Hopefully the cat was okay. There's no fucking way. No, the cat was fine, man. No, he...

He's definitely hurt. Where did he go? Did he disappear down into the fucking... He just got a fucking... Is he down to... Roll over. Fuck. She's there with the fucking jacket.

Oh, she's trying to catch the cat with a jacket. Dumb. This whole plan. Well, maybe not so dumb. I mean, at least they tried, I guess. Oh, they always had. The cat's like, fuck you. I got to see if he's...

Oh, yeah, the cat ran away. Yeah, he hop. Buddy's down. Well, at least he hit some bushes too. Oh, fuck. I mean, he tried to do a nice thing. That's a tough one. The girl with the glass.

I don't know. I just don't understand why you'd walk right into it without just feeling it out. She was fucking embarrassed, man. She hit the thing, got embarrassed, got it all fucked up. People were looking at her laughing. Probably someone said, hey, you fucking dummy in the background. So who are you going to think and going with? I'm going to have to say, yeah, fuck it.

She's dumb. She's getting it. All right, congratulations. You are the dummy of the week. Big time. I feel bad for you. that would be embarrassed and maybe we're baked

I've been there I've walked into shit it sucks put the hand up first when you're gonna do you know you're not sure how many telephone poles

if I walked into you walk down the sidewalk to sound bang fuck way too many but this she was looking

straight on man yeah that's yeah whoa learn how to see what it looks like through glass all right

so you're gonna move out well I've been really thinking about that here's question number one yep

what's the first step to you like where you going well here's the problem my friend it's too fucking expensive to live anywhere these things if i move out of here i'm fucked a goddamn apartment around nova scoche right now is over a thousand dollars man it's a lot it's 12 grand here so what are you thinking i'm gonna build something i don't have a lot of money so where i've been looking at to what to call alternative living

alternative alternative living alternative okay there's a lot there's a lot of options out there man so what do you think

you're gonna where do you want to live you want to live like where we're talking like in an alley that's free I see that's the problem I need fucking land don't I can I just can I just perch myself somewhere

ground land you're called a squatter if you do that and go for it. If you go deep enough into the woods, no one's gonna fucking see you, man. Okay. But, I don't know, man. You get out into the middle of the woods,

it's not that easy to survive, but... Well... Especially winters. I was thinking just building a fucking nice tree house. Tree house, okay? But I still got any building supplies for that, aren't I? All right. But a small little tree house, insulated.

Use a shipmobile as my general... generator. See, that's not what I would do. Well, I found another fucking option that's super cheap. What's that? Straw homes. Straw homes, okay? You can build fucking homes of a straw, man. I didn't know that. That's the way they used to fucking do it, man.

They used to build sod homes, man. Straw homes. This started, well, the straw was started in the plains of Nebraska 100 years ago. All right. They're energy efficient as fuck. They're good fire protection, which surprised me. If you plaster the fucking things. And they're building code approved,

which I don't get fuck because I'm going to be squatting. See, that's the problem. You get, since you're squatting, you put all that fucking work into your straw home because you've got to take mud, man, shit, right?

Plaster. Blasted it on, make plaster inside. And it looks cool. But someone's going to eventually see a fucking straw home and they're going to kick you the fuck off their land. So that's short term.

They can fucking try. Short, yeah, no, no. You're going to get into, no. It's not going to fucking work. You're breaking the law, man. Can I lease a little cheap piece of land? Okay, that's an option.

So you've got to fucking still got to pay someone to live there. Or you can do what I think you should do. What's up? Go down. Go down. Down. Don't go up. Go down. I don't know what you mean, man. You go down or you can go in.

What? In or down is going to cost you a lot fucking less. In or down, what? Here's in. I'm talking about a woman? No, no, no, no. I'm talking about a fucking show. shelter man. Oh, you find a

fucking side, you know, a hill, right? You dig in. You can fucking live in a cave. You only got, nothing's going to come after you. They can only get in the front door, right, unless the cave goes on. What about wintertime? Caves, you can fucking have, you've got to dig

that cave up, man, you put a pipe in there, you can have a stove, easy to heat. A lot of digging. Or you go down. You mean like just tunnel into the earth? No, you find an old well. And believe me, I got a video here. I'm going to throw this up.

That's what you need to do. It's a well. You dig down. You dig into the bottom. You can have a fucking purdy room. So you go down the well and then you start digging. You dig. Dig, dig, dig, dig.

You dig, dig, dig, dig, dig, another room that way. Hey, I'm going to put it in the games room. You dig that way. How come the well doesn't fall in on top of your head? Because that's the way it's built, man. It's a well. Okay. And they've got bricks around them well, so it's all cool, man.

So I think you should do the well thing, man. Seriously. I just got to find an old abandoned well, I guess, do I? They fucking never catch me. That's a good idea. I know whether you can probably find a well. And it's not that far away from here. And it is, well, good luck dealing with the ticks, man.

That's all I got to say. Because ticks are a motherfucker. They are not your friends. I didn't, like, well, tics? Well, there's no, ticks are tics, man. They're fucking everywhere. Not in a well, would they be? you got to, you're not going to fucking stay down in the well,

but how are you going to eat? You got to come out of the well. See, these are the things you got to think about. How are you going to eat? Squirrels? Uber eats. No, you're not going to get some fucking delivery guy that's going to travel through the fucking woods.

I don't have that. On some shitty path, man. You don't have anything. So you got to, that's another thing you've got to worry about what? Fuck me. You got to, you. See, I was all excited, man. I was like, oh, I'm going to build a fucking straw home,

but. It would be a lot of work. It's going to be a ton of work. And digging a hole at the bottom of a well isn't fucking easy either. No, how do you get the dirt out? The bucket. Oh, man. See, that's slow and dirty.

That would take me years. Lots of people tunnel, man. You can probably find someone that could help tunnel you. If I could lower down like a fucking excavator. You know who would be good at digging a fucking tub? digging a tunnel Cory Jacob

Yeah Well trust me Whatever way I go They're doing most of the work Okay well that's what you gotta do At least those guys still accept Fucking Weeding eyes for cash

There's another one here There's another idea If you do want to go up And it's fucked But for some reason Yeah If you want to live up You mean like a tree house?

No not quite high as a tree house It's fuck It's like a... The only way I can describe it is it looks like it's in the shape of a pig. You're basically living in a big wicker pig. A big wicker pig? Big wicker pig.

Where do you get the wicker? It's not... It's like a wicker. You use branches instead of the wood. It's like a fucking... So you use what you fucking find. Branches, you fucking... Free.

Free's good. Try a fucking pitch of it, man. The problem going down, what if there's like a goddamn flood? then all of a sudden I'm drowned well I don't want to get drowned that's why yeah

going in no no no I guess you can go in you can put a top over the fucking well man you know what I mean like a hat cover over yeah

like a hat it's like a fucking submarine I don't know I'd be nervous I'd say like duh I'd be nervous but collapse and shit yeah I wouldn't be able to sleep right

I'm not going down I might you know what this all these things seem like a fucking lot of work The straw home, I was like, I can do that. But when I think about all the plaster work, and Corey and Jacob are probably too dumb for plaster work.

And you know what? You're not going to fuck it. You'll last a week. You'll put a bunch of work into it, and you'll be there for a week, and you'll just want to be back here. And you know what? The thing that I would do is deal with fucking Randy. How much do you all?

Two and a half months behind. All right. You said if I don't have $3.50 by Friday, I'm toast to roast. This is what we do then. It's fucking easy. And you can do this every month if you want so you don't get behind the rent. Okay.

You pay them the money. What? Give blood. I don't think I'd like to give blood. I'm afraid because my blood's probably not great. How much can you fucking get if you donate blood? I think it's $100, isn't it? For a pint.

I don't know. Just throwing it out there. See, that might be easier. I know you get paid. I just don't know much. That might be the easiest fucking thing to do, man. Just go give blood a few times. Yeah, we tried it with Jacob.

It didn't work out that well. I forget how much you can get, though, man. Yeah, I don't remember. We're not going to get enough fucking... I'm not giving up enough blood to pay my rent. That's for God, man. Your blood's not going to pass anyway. Okay, this is what we got to do, man.

We got to come up with $350. We'll do that. We'll borrow it. We'll do whatever the fuck we can. Okay. Whatever. We pay Randy. Randy takes off.

we go back to his trailer break into his trailer we wait for him we'll have fucking masks on our head we come get him from behind throw him down so we pay him we pay him then we rob him

he's not gonna know what's us that's pretty brilliant no shit and we can do this every fucking month if you want I'll help him man just to fuck him over but do we want a hurt leg we could hit him over the head or something

knock him right out what did we do or just come in behind rear naked choke try to choke him out he doesn't see anything you want to hit him you want to be violent no I want to maybe choke him out that's what I'm saying I don't want to like fucking give him a concussion but choke him out

but I don't know if I want to get behind him and give him the fucking rare naked choke for obvious reasons oh I get it he's fucking slimy and disgusting man who would want to do that The $350 you do with this one

He's going to know It's you, man He's not going to know He's going to feel All the different muscles He's just going to be Julian All right

You know what we got to do We've got to have A strobe light blasting in there Maybe a bit more of a set up Crank some music That'll totally fucking distract him Man he won't We need to give him a body buzz

So he can't move And then we go to his trailer Without him real us And we're like What the fuck you talk Wasn't us We were with you the whole time. We want to drug them.

All right. Okay, anyway, that's what we do. I don't want to talk anymore about this shit. We'll fucking figure it out later. You know what? Thank you for making me come to myself. I've never fucking thought about how much goddamn work it would be. It's... It's a lot of work. That's why they have shows like Survivor. You know what I mean? It's

not fucking easier. And I'm not sure I think I'd be good at Plaster with the right buzz on, but I don't know. But, man, you could build a fucking pretty cheap home on a straw if you're willing to do the work. All right. Let's do. some great benefits.

Let's get some land and build fucking straw community, man. There's two different types too. Nebraska style or the infill method. Okay. Maybe we can talk about that some other time. Can I pay people to do?

I don't have any money. All right, I'm staying here for now. But I could be gone on Friday. We'll see. You're here for now. We'll get the $350. All right, everybody, cheers.

Peace out. Yes. Let's love. If you live out in the woods, fucking make a comment. And if you see Randy, tell him to go fuck himself for me. If you want to watch a video version of this podcast, go to trailer prep boys plus and subscribe, motherfuckers.