Trash Taste Podcast - WE DON'T UNDERSTAND SPORTS | Trash Taste #90

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

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Good evening. It's me, The Monk. Have you ever listened to Trash Tate and Thoughts? That doesn't seem too hard. I can do that. Well, you're in luck, because today I want to talk about Anchor, the easiest way to make podcasts, and it's completely free. Anchor will distribute your podcasts for you, so it can be heard on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and many, many more. I mean, it's literally what we're using now. They have creation tools that allow you to record and edit a podcast for your phone or computer. And you can add any songs from Spotify directly to your episodes.

The possibilities are literally endless. endless. You can make anything, music analysis, talk shows, or even an anime podcast that talks about anime. It's everything you need to make a podcast in one place. So, if you want to give podcasting a go, download the free anchor app or go to anchor.fm to get started. Anyway, back to the episode. Welcome poop enthusiasts to another episode of Trash Tastes podcast. I'm poop enthusiast. I'm a poop enthusiast. I'm a Biday enthusiast. There's a difference. You literally just said, God, I need it. I I need a shit. No, I don't, I need to.

Second or what? I hope that's the first second on this episode. The same way you need to, I'm not getting into this guy. I don't wanna, I don't even wanna humor this clownery. What'd have been up to, Joe? Poop in? Poopin? Doing a lot of poopin?

You guys were up to, huh? Not playing Final Fantasy 14 like an idiot. For fuck sake, Joe. For fuck sake, Joey. I called you out right from the get-go. Okay, okay, okay. Like, I remember, so we record the episode where Joey's like gone, don't play Final Fantasy 14.

I think it was like, Like four weeks ago? Yeah, yeah, and I'm like, okay, Joe, you're a good mate. I will trust you. And then what happens? I get a condition in which I need to stay in the house every day for about two weeks straight. Okay. And I have nothing to do because I'm not well enough to work.

So what I do first, I complete 13 Sentinels, which is... Oh, you finish it? I finished it. And then it was as fucking insane as you said it was. And then I sit there twiddling my thumbs going, What now? What do I do now? And then I look at the date

and I look at Twitter and Final Fantasy 14 comes back on sale to the public. And I'm just like, and I'm just like, either this is a sign from God or the devil. Either one, it is a sign. It's a sign. Either one, it's a sign.

The only way to get you guys to do anything is be like, don't do this. Don't watch this, don't play this game. You all like it. Was that the problem? Was that, I was being too negative. I had to do the, I didn't watch Arcane this week.

Right. Just saying, that's it. That's it. That's all I'm saying. That's so funny, I didn't either. That's crazy. Yeah, right? Yeah, shit.

Couldn't be me. But yeah, I mean, talking about addiction, Joey, I see, I see, I mean, you recently gone into a new gacha game as well, didn't you? I did, yeah. We mentioned it very briefly in the last episode. Yeah, yeah. It's just like the week where we just,

what am I gonna start heroin this week? Yeah, well, everything is. addicts anonymous. Everything just goes wrong this week. I mean, you've recently just been addicted to a torturing yourself. I'm not addicted to it. I want to be done with it.

I'm trying to finish. Oh, you're definitely addicted to it. I'm not, I'm not. I don't like hurting myself. You're like a fucking massive. Well, you don't like hurting yourself. You say after like your 10th jumping stream, I'll do it again.

And then getting over it and then the Pogo stick or I can't have. Pogo stuck. Pogo stuck, that's it. Well, first of all, I want to clarify. I don't enjoy hurting myself. But I enjoy a challenge. Sometimes challenges.

Is that not just mentally running yourself? Challenges require us to go through someone comfortable feelings and challenges. I get that, you know, but I think, I think, I get that sentiment, but I think what makes a challenge, you know, satisfying is when you do it every now and then, you know, not every stream.

Well, you know what, I had this like revelation where I was sitting there and I was like, you know, nobody bats an eye if you spend 1,000 hours playing a FPS. The moment you put 10 hours into a shitty jumping game, everyone's like, you've got a problem, you know? What's up with that? What do you mean?

I still think putting a thousand hours into an FPS is a problem. I mean, I- Not a problem. You don't know, you're not a gamer. Putting a thousand hours into an FPS is not- Over how long? I don't know, like a month. A month?

Okay, no, that is a problem. That is a problem. Hold on, is there even a thousand hours in a month? Uh, I think, yeah. It would be just under, I think. Because that would be a slight, that would be a different problem entirely if there wasn't. No, there is not.

Yeah. No, there is, what am I saying? How many hours in a month? 720 hours. Yeah, okay, okay. So this man is like in the hyperbolic time chamber or something playing a bit. You can watch YouTube at 1.5 times speed,

I FPS and 1.5 times. So. I feel like FPS, I can get it because at least there's a bit more variety than literally pressing a button and pointing in a direction and doing that for 10 hours straight. I've never had like my wrists hurt before

from gaming, but doing the spacebar games. That hurts my wrist, actually. I don't know why that hurts my. Yeah, that is Carpal Tunnel Speedron. It's because it's like the same action over and over and over, right? Yeah, but it's good content there, isn't it? Not right now, it's terrible.

It's good content, to watch. It's terrible right now, because I've been, it's like a dementia stream. I'm just going around and doing the same thing over and over again, not making any progress. And when I do beat it, I'm totally. That's what I'm saying, it's good content to watch, not to do. Well, it's a great YouTube highlight.

Yeah, yeah, because then it's done. But when you're, you're doing it's done. But when you're in the middle of it, you're like, I don't know if I can do this. I'm gonna have a mental breakdown. Right. I don't know if like this can be done. Markiplier did like seven YouTube parts

and just gave up. Yeah. I mean like, soul crushing that is? I mean like, it's good content in the same way that you know, Mr. Bees saying PewDiePie a million times whatever is good content, you know. But you know, it's not exactly what I'd call fun and it's definitely, uh, it's definitely suffering.

That's not a day I can, you know, bring back. Yeah. So I, you know, I'd be all the jumping DLC. I'm pretty gonna do the other one at some point. I might have done it by the time this comes out. I don't know, who knows. But I finished playing it and I was like, oh my God, thank God the challenge is over.

I can finally rest. And I played Pokemon Arceus. And like, it was kind of difficult. But at no point did I ever think, I can't do this. Well, yeah, of course, it's a Pokemon game. And I missed that. I missed that moment where I was like,

I don't know if I can do this. Like this is so difficult, I need this. See, that's why you're a game and I'm not. Because the moment I see a part of a game where I'm like, I can't do this, I'm like, guess I'll die. And I just don't do it. But when I know someone else has done something,

I'm like, well, I can do it then. Why don't you play Seafood then? What's that? Oh, Seafood. Yeah, Seafood. It's like a new game that just came out, which is kind of like based on, you know, old school martial arts films.

And I've heard it's like pretty damn hard. And it's pretty damn challenging. It's like got, I mean, I haven't played it yet, but I've seen other streamers and other people talk about it. And, uh, I mean, I don't want to use like the Dark Souls analogy because everyone uses the fucking Dark Souls analogy. Like, you know, difficulty didn't exist before Dark Souls, but I have heard that it is a challenging game to get through.

That has- See, what I don't understand is- But I think like, like, nothing compared to these rage games. Right, but what I don't understand is, okay, you say you want to go for a challenge, right? Yeah. You don't want to learn how to speed-run. So speed-running is a different thing for me entirely. I don't think- I think-

I think it's exactly the same. I think speed-running is closer to the shit you're doing with Jump King and Pogo stuck than it is to do with like challenging, you know, Mechanically, mechanically challenging games. See, here's where, this is where I think speed running for me is like something that, I mean, I've enjoyed it, I've done it in the past. I've just to speed run like Cophead,

back when they had an exploit in the game that they removed and then it's like not really fun to do because it takes a lot longer now. Yeah. Yeah, so I used to enjoy doing it, but I found that the point was, is like, okay, let's say you get to a certain point, when you get to a really good time

and you start shaving off like microseconds, right? If you're a streamer and, you know, you want to, stream content, it becomes really difficult to keep saying like, this is content over and over again. Because I'm not speed runner. I'm trying to make content, right? Right.

And so, like, if you, if I'm trying to make a YouTube channel, I'm trying to make highlights, I can't be like, Jump King speed run highlights, part 17, right? It just doesn't work like that, right? I mean, I've, you can. And also, with, with like something like Pogo Stuck or Jump King, right, when, if I'm not speed running, I tried speed running Jump King.

I got pretty good time, I got 12 minutes. I think I can do better, but again, I'd have to grind it a bunch and it's not that entertainment, But having a hard goal that is like, you have done it at this point, you're done, you can stop. That's way more satisfying. I think as a viewer to watch, but also as a content creator, it's a lot better for like a narrative in a video.

I mean, I think it's pretty simple to turn speed running into content. You just set you can. You just set yourself a hard target, a hard number that you get on. Like when I say you should be doing speed running content, I don't mean like you should be going for a fucking world record or anything. But like, you know, like maybe setting your goal to you be like, all right, if the world record is like 10 minutes in this game, then, you know, my goal is to get

a PB or 15 minutes, right? Oh, well, then that tends, and yeah, you could do that. I mean, like, Ludwig did it with like some of the games that I, like, you did like, can you beat all of Jump King in an hour? Yeah, yeah, all three maps. You know, that's interesting. That's way more appealing to me than just trying

of grinding at the best time. Yeah. Very impressive with the people who can do it. I'm just not consistent enough. I mean, it's fucking hard. This, like, these. I don't know, man, you've been pretty fucking consistent with all these, like, hard-ass games.

Yeah, yeah. I mean you seem to have one step away. You seem to have found a niche of just, yeah, I will just do this one repetitive thing that is this one mechanic in the game and do it for 10 hours. And I'm just like- That sounds exactly like what a speed run all this.

I think it's one of those things, I keep saying that when I want to buy time, like one of those things. That's one of those things. One more thing. You basically can, you need perseverance to like an extreme level for a lot of these games.

And I feel that, that most people will just think this is stupid. And I'm just like, but I can see like the micro improvements. Right. I feel the like tiny, tiny improvements every time. I feel like this is pure copium right now. No, it's not. Okay, okay, okay. It's not. No, no, no, no.

You get better. Okay, okay. Cause like I get that for like, say, a mechanically intensive game like Seafood, you know, like Dark Souls. You would not be feeling this satisfied if you weren't streaming this game. No, I would never do it on that. Yeah, exactly, right?

because it isn't as satisfying. Like, like, you're finding, like, the micro things that you find fun about this game to try and cope with how much of, like, how much of a shit time you're having or doing it, but at least people are watching you do it, you know? I'm not, the chat is the silver lining. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, like, okay, so, like, Jump King, initially I thought, I thought that it was dumb. I thought it was stupid, I thought it was unfair. Yeah. After playing it, I think it's, like, amazing. I feel like it's, like, incredible, I'm not kidding. It's an amazing game.

Would you have said that, though, if you hadn't beaten it? No. Absolutely not. And I understand if you play it and you think it's unfair. I understand that. But when you play those games more, and especially like, okay, PogoStuck is not. It's awful, awful game, not.

You said that about Jump King, like literally two, three weeks ago, right? I did. Actually, Jumps King was good. This is going to be Pauley A's things when he beats Pogostok and he's like, best game ever made, amazing. Jump King has the bang of vision. Absolutely amazing soundtrack. Mm-hmm.

I do agree, I do like the aesthetics of Jump King. It's like a, it's a package, you know. Yeah. Well, I will hold my, uh, Yeah, you guys, I will reserve my opinions because by the time this episode comes out, me and Joey will probably have already done our Jump King race. You gonna try and beat it? You gonna go for it?

Yeah. I mean, if we can, sure, but I think... I mean, probably not on that race, but personally, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I start something, I'm going to finish it. Yeah, yeah. I think this race is gonna be, the reason why I came up with the race idea is because, you know, I like myself enough to not torture myself on stream for entertainment.

So I was like, he dragged me, he dragged me. I'm like, I need someone else to feel this pain with me. He was literally on camera, you could rewind back to that trash, a previous episode, he was like, Jump King sounds fun, gone, do you wanna do jump king with me? You ever played it out? Oh, wanna coincidence, me neither.

But I think like, I mean, we've probably already done about the time this episode's coming out, but like, As of right now, I think it's like, we're giving ourselves like maybe four hours, just because Garn and I are incapable of streaming for more than four hours in any game.

I think 10 to 15 hours is a good range of how long it might take you. Right, all right. So that race, we probably won't beat it. But I think afterwards, once we get the idea, then we'll probably like individually do it and then try and beat it. It's weird, because like games like that,

they like trick you into thinking that the only progress that matters is how far you've gotten, where it's like, in games like Jump King and stuff like that, you're gonna have to restart so many times. So it's not about how far you can get. It's how many times can you do all of the jumps

to the point where you fell, perfect. Like can you do that more consistent? It kind of sounds like speed running. Kind of, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it is. But at least with jumping, you get a mental break. You know, you can stop for a moment and you can kind of like, okay, right.

Pogo's stuck, it doesn't stop. The program that doesn't stop moving. It's just awful. So like speed running. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the more I think about it The more I think about it,

Pocus Stuck is just a speed running. Yeah, it's a speed running simulator. Yeah. I try it, try it. It's one of those games that looks a lot easier than it is, for sure. I mean, I've done like Bennett 40s getting over it. That's easy though, that's not. Yeah, and like co-op and stuff like that.

And I'm just like, even then I was like- I thought getting over it was hard. After playing these games, getting over it is like medium, not even like hard. Yeah. I mean, I'd be getting over it in three hours my first time. So.

Well, I feel like you started with Jump King and then you, like, I guess you down downgraded to getting over it. You get the mindset. It's not about how good you are at the games. It's about getting the mindset to improve the games. I feel like I could. I'll just go into like Zen mode.

You need zero, zero range. Zero raging for me. You can't beat a game like that while fucking being like, I did most of the same. I was furious, a fuming. It's so hype, man. If you ever get to the top, the castles,

the soundtracks are like, I can imagine it. Like, I see you guys have been playing Pokemon a lot I mean, you've been playing it a bunch of things. I finished it. Yeah, he finished it. I didn't, I didn't. He's finished like the main story.

Did you finish it on stream or finish it probably? Yeah, I didn't get Arseus. That's all I have to do. Yeah, so there's like a lot of post-game. So I've heard like mixed things about Arceas, which has stopped me from getting it right now, which is like, I've heard like it's a really fun game, but it's just a really empty world.

I mean, it's the best Pokemon game we've had in like five, I don't fucking know, a very long time. A very long time, I agree. That's like saying like this is the best big Mac of a head. It's like, it's not that much. It's way better than the big Mac down the road. Yeah, yeah. Like saying that like, our Queen of Time came before it

in like the Zelda, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We haven't had a fresh Pokemon game in a long time. I know this is old news by the time this has come out, but I think it's still good to... I mean, I'm still playing it. I'm playing all the post game and I'm doing all the side quests and everything because I'm just that kind of game.

It was hard. It's a hard Pokemon game. It gets very hard. Some of the battles are hard as fuck. Yeah, it's kind of annoying because it feels like they revolutionize what they needed to and somehow just completely like did stupid choices for certain things. Right.

They just like make battles for like the first like two thirds of the game just like way too easy. Way too easy. Right. And then randomly they're like, how about we just fuck you? And they just start making them really fucking hard. It's not only, but the thing that I notice is that it's not just the fact that there's just

this immediate jump in the levels of the Pokemon, but like I feel out of all the Pokemon games, the AI in this game is so fucking Ging-Diborrain. It's smart. They're very much. very smart. So it's like, they do some moves where I'm just like, that's like competitive level Pokemon. Right. And I'm just getting fuck. Because like, I'm so used to, you know, fighting like really dumb NPCs in Pokemon games, right? Like in all the main way Pokemon games.

Yeah. And this, this time around it's like, uh-uh, we're playing 5D chess now. And I just get fucked. Yeah, I felt like in previous Pokemon games, just knowing the typings of the Pokemon was enough to like easily comfortably get you. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Whereas at the points in this game, I was like, I know all the typings. I just can't be. this one guy. There's this one fight in the game. It's very difficult. Right.

And it took me like 10 attempts to do. Really? Yeah. Very frustrated. So you can't just like autopilot your way through the game and you're... You do have to... After a certain point in the game, if you want to beat a certain fight, you do have to like think and grind and actually, I doubt you'll do it first time.

It's very difficult. I managed to do it first time, but only because my chat was like, uh, there's a hardest fuck fight coming up. So you better, uh, you better at least like prepare and I'm like, guys, come on, fucking easy. fucking easy, whatever. And then I did it, I almost fucking died. I was like, oh, okay. I should probably, I should probably go grind a little bit.

Yeah, but yeah, no, but like, look, I completely get why people don't wanna touch the game because not gonna, when I first booted up the game, I was like, God, this looks like a PS2 game. Like, it doesn't look great and it doesn't run great. Graphically, it doesn't look great. It runs like shit a lot of the times,

especially if you're like playing it through a capture card. Like it's a little bit better, I play it a little bit on stream, like on the switch. And it plays, It's okay. Right. It's still not amazing. Like, it's still nowhere near as like, you know,

fucking Mario Odyssey levels of like frame rate or anything like that. But I think you get over it very quickly because the gameplay is just so refreshing and fun. And like, yeah, I get the world is like empty or whatever. People said it was empty, but there's like, I mean, the Pokemon are the thing that you give. Yeah, exactly.

You know, I hate it having to collect these fucking berries in the trees all the time. Yeah, I kept running out of Pokemon. It was really annoying. You know, you could like go on a mount, but you couldn't collect stuff on a mount, so you had to get off it to collect the stuff and then immediately get back on it.

No, you can't. Oh, no, no, you can't. Oh, no, you can't. Yeah. No, you can't. No, you have to get off the mount. What, oh, oh, like throwing it out a tree. Yeah.

Oh, I thought you meant just like stuff on the ground. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry. Okay, yeah, sorry. Okay, I was like, what? Yeah. But, like, the best part of the game is just catching Pokemon. They actually, like, recaptured that joy of being tan again. The fact, like, the moment when you can just, like,

be hiding in a little shrub, and you just fucking yeat a poker ball, just across the field and you catch that Pokemon without noticing you is like the best feeling every time. Yeah. And also like you can like let's say your level 30, you can catch a level 70 Pokemon with enough persistence. Right. If you just just get very, very lucky.

Yeah. Right. Which is really like, oh my God, it's so excited. It's a hype moment when you like catch level 70 at level 30. But you can't control it. But I mean, it's still like really cool so you can have these really strong Pokemon. I felt like they had a good range of Pokemon. They didn't just choose the normal ones you expect.

I don't know. I think people were, a bit too harsh on it, I think. I agree, yeah, I think a little, people are a little bit too, yeah, because I mean, I get, you know, I get the whole argument of like, oh, it's Nintendo, it's game freak,

you know, they should have a billion, gajillion dollars to put into, you know, making a smooth game and giving it the best graphics, but it's like, I don't know, I personally think that like the graphical choice, I guess, that they went for, like fit the story.

I don't really care about graphics that much. Me neither. Like, honestly, like. I don't either, but they weren't noticeably lacking, I'd say. Yeah. But they weren't, it wasn't that they weren't good. It's that they were like, oh, okay.

There were definitely some moments where I'm like, oh, that tree in the distance is freaking out for no reason. Oh, let's just ignore that. Yeah, but. There was good quality of life changes. I don't know, it's, it's Pokemon, right? So when they take, they take one step forward

and then they just tear their leg off. That's what they do. Like they, the moment they have something good, they start just fucking get up. And I bet, I hope that we get more games like this because they basically made it so that you don't need to battle, but also the battling is way smoother. There's not this animation bullshit.

It's like if it happens, you know, you can run around, you can, it's good. But I know it's Pokemon, so they're gonna be like, all right, now let's just get rid of that. Let's not do that anymore. And it's like, why? What's wrong with you? I really hope that I'm wrong.

Enough fans need to make a fucking uproar for them to like bring back a sort of thing. I don't know, I feel like Pokemon fans are loud as fuck. I feel like it's just Pokemon company just doing their own thing. Yeah, that's usually. Like, it's just the Pokemon company being like, we can make whatever the fuck we want.

We know you'll buy it. Yeah, I mean, they will. I mean, they will. I mean, Pokemon's like the most profitable, Like franchise of all time for like a reason, right? It's a fun game though. I'd say, I think I said it was a six or seven. Six or seven?

I'd give it like, yeah, seven or eight, I'd say. It's a really refreshing thing. Considering I bought the Pearl and Diamond remake and I have barely had the motivation to even put it in my switch, I think that says a lot. I know, it's weird for me, right? Because as someone who doesn't really have time to play games, I like, if something's not like a nine or ten,

I very rarely go out and play it, unless I'm streaming it or making content, or something like that. But how would you know if it's a nine or a 10 if you don't play it? Normally I just watch reviews and listen to recommendations. I don't know if you've heard of a thing called IGN.

But- Obviously, I go on a thing called a Metacritic, obviously, the most trustable source. So basically the only game gone has ever played as Ochreone of time. It is a light novel there as well, so that might get you into it. Yeah, there's a lot of time.

Never shut the fuck up. There's a lot of dialogue. It's really weird because it's like, it takes me a lot to get into a game sometimes. It's like, like, I try, I've tried to really, like, narrow down what my taste in video games is. And the more I think about it, the more I'm just like, I have no idea. Because, like, okay, so like, we've, we're Final Fantasy 14, for example. Like, so I was playing that, like, a little here and there during, like, uh, during when I was ill, right? And

I remember literally yesterday, literally yesterday, right? We were in the lift on I turned to Terry. I'm like, Joey, got to be honest with you, started Final Fantasy 14, right? But you don't I need to worry, Joey. I'm like, it's not, it's not addicting it at all. Like I'm, I'm like, I've flayed it, I've stopped myself, I'm good, I'm good out, right? I shook his hand and everything too. Yeah, he shook my hand.

And then I went home and I'm just like, I don't really have anything to do, maybe I'll just, like, like, because the thing is, it's just a nice comfort game for me to like zone out and just, you know, tap buttons. And then so I booted up and then I get into like my first, like big boss battle, like big raids. And then I remember finishing the, finishing the raid, I was like, oh no, that was really fun.

That was, that was really fucking fun. I need you to, I want to take back that handshake I gave you that night. I thought we had like established something, you know, there was a, there was a trust that was formed there. And he just ripped it away. I was just like, oh, I really, really want to continue playing now. I look at the clock. I'm like, it's midnight.

We got a trash tape recording in the morning. I'm like, I can go for another two hours. I got another hour or two. I can squeeze. How much sleep do I need? And like, because here's the thing. I've never like,

I've, I never really got into MMOs, right? And I never, I never went through a phase where I got addicted to Rune, RuneCcape. Runecraft. I was going to say Runecraft then.

RuneScape or, wow, whatever like that. So this is like my first proper MMO. And like, I wasn't really into it because I thought like I didn't really enjoy the gameplay

because like the, the battle system for Final Fantasy, especially at the beginning was like really fucking basic. It's like just, point at something and tap a button and do like a basic three hit combo and then that's it and I was like

you know I'm here for the story I'm gonna stick here for the story but then I experienced the first raid I was like you know that was pretty damn fun and I'm scared for myself now I don't know I just I just it's been a while since I've had the experience of just having a moment in a game

and just having like this I guess like it felt like a like an ember had been lit just like I want to experience that again That's what I'm saying, man. Like, MMOs are a lot like, like, quicksand. Where it's like the more you try to quit, the more you just get sucked in it.

I'm glad I got it out of me when I was like 14 and 50. I don't really have an urge to play MMOs at all. Me neither. Yeah, I mean, like, what did you guys find addicting about MMOs when you got into it? I think the number one thing that got me addicted, which I'm glad you haven't experienced yet per se, is when you have like a large group of friends

that you see often who also play it. Oh, okay. Where like it's just like, I had like a group of like three or four mates like during the runescape era and like the Maple Story era that I could just like ring up on Skype and just be like, all right. So Sesh for like seven hours and like yeah, yeah, let's do it. And then you just play it while you're in a conversation. And it's the best way to kill time. But at the same time it's like you finish that seven hour session and you're like, what have I just done? Yeah, I think it's a game where like the goals or for me at least felt like they were. Never, a never ending supply of goals. Yeah. Whereas in like a game like, I don't know if I, if I do the campaign in a card or something. Yeah. I'm done in there now.

Yeah. Yeah. But in Moonscape, it just like never ended. And every time I hit a milestone, I got more cool quests I could do. And I thought, wow, that's so sick. Oh, I got this really badass item. Okay. And so like every time you're, you're grinding towards something,

you always just kind of unlock these cool things that were just enough serotonin boost to keep you being like, invest. invested a lot. And then even when you finished through all those side quests for example, you see one player that just walks past your plan and you go, I want what he has. How do I get that?

And then now your quest is to be that guy. Yeah, exactly. It just never ends, yeah. And then also like, I don't know if you can do this in Final Fantasy, but in Rhinxcape, you could lose all your stuff. Really? Yeah, you could just lose all your house. By dying.

Yeah, by getting killed. By dying? Fuck, I've died of fuck time. I've lost nothing. So thank God. See, there you go. That's time. Like, pussy MMO.

I've held in your hand. I feel like I couldn't, I wouldn't be able to get into like RuneScape or wow then because like one of the big factors I feel looking to video games is like I need a reason to keep playing and most of that reason is storyline. Like gameplay loop a lot of the time, that's not enough of a reason to keep me invested in me invested

in the game for like long term. Having said that, your thing about the mates thing, like when I was doing this boss battle, I was like, I wonder how fun this would be with friends to do it at the same time. You're gonna be that guy where like, Gant can't join us today because he has a raid or something. Yeah, yeah, he has an event raid

that's only available during these hours, yeah. But yeah, I mean, this is, I guess, the start of, I don't know what, yeah, it just, maybe I might stream it, who knows? You know how before you were saying that, like, viewers of trash taste could tell when we record these episodes based on my hair? Yeah.

Now they're gonna be able to tell it based on the size of his eyebags. that are gonna be forming from endless nights of Final Fantasy 14. So it's like, oh man, they're like, this far down now, it's like, you finish three raids, God? I think I also stay away from them because my little brother was like addicted

to World Warcraft. Yeah, yeah. And I could like just see how much he would play it and to like no avail. Yeah, exactly. At the end of it, he was just like, yeah, it wasn't that fun. After like years of playing.

Yeah. Well, of course, it's like, you know, every fucking league player or like Overwatch player that invest way too much time into this one game. And of course, what you have to show for it? Well, you know, I reach Diamond, you know? I reach, yeah, usually what you have to show for it

can be summed up in one sentence. Yeah. It's like, yeah, it was fun. Why is it that playing like 100 games for 10 hours is like seen as okay, but playing one game for a thousand hours is like, no. Double standards, right? What society.

We live in a society. That's fucked up. We live in a society. That ain't right. I don't know, because I just feel like there are just so many games. nowadays that are available even if like you have nothing to, even if you feel like you have nothing to play or no big releases have come out,

then you just go through your fucking Steam library, right? My Steam library is like my, God, I've not touched my Steam library. Like, I think to my, that's what I think to myself, right? And I'm like, okay, so I just finished this game. Yeah. When I finished 13 Sentinels, for example, I was like, all right, cool, I finished that game. Fuck, now do I want to play.

Normally people would be like, oh, I have a, like, 300 games in my Steam that I haven't even, like, installed it all. Nope, instead, I go to the PlayStation station store, I download the Sona 3 Nocturn. And I was like, yeah, let's play this. And now I'm just playing that. Oh my God.

See, I would rather have one game that I'm really into than a hundred games that I mildly enjoyed. Yeah, you know, like, to me like, like, Pokemon Arceus, for example, it seems like kind of fun, but it doesn't seem like a game that I could, like, throw myself into, you know, it's, it's weird for me because I'd rather be like fully invested in just like emotionally invested in one like a few things.

Why Final Fantasy? Why did that get you? Because I heard from every person who fucking talks about Final Fantasy that has a good story. And that's, to be fair, as much as I have. But I heard about like NFTs are great if you just listen to NFT people. So that's, you know.

If you're asking addicts why something's great, it's quite not a good, like, did you talk to people who played it and didn't like it? Well, okay. There's the catch. Everyone who's played it has said it's a good game. No, no, no. It's just, it's just,

Just like, for example, like when I played the trial, when I first came out, I'll admit, it's a great fucking game. But I, I like used 100% of my brain power to be like, you want, it's, I know it's a fun game brain, but you're not going to play it. I feel like if you're only talking to people who are into it, oh, they seem to all like it. Yeah, because they're into it.

Yeah, but that's the thing. Everyone, at least around me, that I know, that has or is playing 14 has said nothing but good things about. Yeah, I feel like there are, some people who are like maybe, you know, people who are, for example, addicted to league or addicted to Overwatch where they're like, no, just don't get into it. It's, it is, it is not a, you, you don't have fun with this game. Yeah. But that's because you're in, you know, every game has its life, life graph, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Final Fantasy is just and it's like,

it's infancy compared to league. We have like 15 years or, no, 10 plus years of league of, don't do it, don't do it. We know time has proven us. History has taught us. Well, 14 at this rate might also get to that point. Yeah, my-look. Look, I don't know if this will be a poorly-aged thing, but I'm in for the story, and once I do the story, I just, I won't really have any other reason

to continue playing it for, right? They're always coming out with another expansion. It doesn't end. Well, like, you know, is that, is that microtransactions, isn't it? Uh, is it? No, I haven't seen any. Is it micro-transactions for expansion?

Well, for costumes, yeah, like, Oh, okay, yeah. I mean, it's a Japanese game. Of course this micro-transactions. But like you, I, from what I, You can understand you pay for like any new expansion, which is basically like another part of the storyline. So I mean, Wow was the same as well, right?

What? You had to pay for expansions? Wow was a subscription service, right? Yeah, it was a monthly plus you had to pay for expansions right. Yeah, yeah. And now you have to pay for coins or something. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know too much about the MMO world.

That's why I play Gotcha, where I can choose to put money in. It's not a requirement. It's like the key. cancer cell, fight for the AIDS cell at this point. You know what's better than MMOs? Who will win? Gotcha games. Everyone's into that Lost Ark, aren't they?

Yeah, everyone's into Lost Ark, aren't they? I don't know what it is. I'm too scared to ask. I've seen a lot of my friends play it on stream, and I'm like, okay, that looks fun, but right now I'm into Heaven Burns Red, so I'm just playing that. I'm enough for the story. This episode is sponsored by ExpressVPN. When you use the bar three, me, you always close the door behind you, right? Of course.

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Uh, word, word, or. Oh yeah. That's, I finally, oh my God, dude, it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders because for months now, every time I go on Twitter, like five people on my timeline are just like tweeting out these like, like these fucking squares.

It's like these yellow and green squares. I'm just like, are this, is this like hieroglyphs or something? Like, what's, what's, what's, I was like, is this like an invitation to a cult or something? Like, do I have to decipher this? And then I joined like the, fucking, the stone smiths or whatever the fuck is called.

Stone Mason. I was almost more confused once Gant had actually explained it to me. Because I was like, why are people tweeting this out? Yeah. I don't make any sense. Admittedly, it's good. It's like a good, like, little time waster, because there's only one word a day, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think it's like their marketing strut, I don't know if it was like on purpose, but it was like fucking five head, right? because everyone gets the same word every day and you only get one words a day, right? And when you tweet it out, it's kinda like, I don't know, it's kinda like tweeting out

like a gold star or something, or like an achievement in a video game, right? It's like, but it's the equivalent of being like, yeah, so yesterday I beat level 127 of Candy Crush in like two minutes. I mean, I'm on my level, so. I don't tweet it out. I just do it just to prove to all the tweets that I see,

that I can do it every day. Yeah, I sat there and I was like, But why would anyone tweet this out? Because I guessed a five-letter word correctly? Because you're big-brain. I just couldn't understand it. Am I missing something? Like, is it-

No. What about it is an achievement? I'm not attacking anyone who has tweeted out. You can do it over the fuck you want this, whether. I just, there's some people who were like, they were like, I don't know, pretty like big accounts.

I'm like, why the fuck you treat you about Wordle? Yeah, I'd like two or three people I followed that I think we're like actively, At one point we're like, the fuck is this word or shit? I don't fucking know. And then like a week later they're like, got it in two tries baby. I was like, oh no.

Is this Final Fantasy 14 all over again? No, because like the thing I don't understand about how this trend started is like, what made people want to tweet an app in first place? Right, because who sits there and is like, yeah, I gotta let it on fucking. You know, you know when you like have an app open and you get like that notification, which is like,

would you like to review this app? And then post it on your timeline. Share your results. Yeah, share your results. Who's ever fucking shared the results before Wordel existed? And what was the black magic that Wordle put on their users

to make people want to share the results? Like when I get like a high school on Temple Run, I'm not fucking sharing that. Because I did it's a fucking mobile game. Share it to your Facebook friends. It's like, no, I don't think I will. Everyone who's like, yo, Facebook sucks. Like, yeah, no, Twitter is slowly becoming Facebook.

This is what boomers do. This is what they do. They're like, look what I got in Farmville. It's like, what? We're no better than them. But like, what are what? It's like the equivalent of like having a newspaper with like the crossword. Yeah, yeah, right?

And like your grandpa comes and shows you, oh look at this completed crossword. So crosswords are too hard. Yeah, crosswords are like way harder, right? Yeah, it went from crosswords to like newspaper Sudoku puzzles and then it's now Whartle. Because I thought, because I was, what I was surprised the most about Wordle was that,

I thought it was like an app. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like all those other ones, right? But then I realized it's the fucking New York Times. Yeah, it's just, it's just like a thing that the New York Times has. It's like, I remember Joey searching for it on like the app store.

It's like, no, you're just, you just type it in the browser. I'm like, why is there like Russian apps coming up on my thing? Like, is this-Wordu? Yeah, Wardle. Yeah, I was like, uh. That's where the New York Times bought it.

Yeah, they bought it, yeah. Ah, okay. Big brain. Yeah, I remember I tweeted ages ago. I was like, I don't know what Wurdle is and it's been so long that I was too afraid to ask. Yeah, I did. Well, I mean, you weren't afraid to ask, because you tweeted it out.

I was actually afraid to ask. I'm like, I don't even want it. I'm keeping this in the drafts, bro. I'm fucking twigms out. I tried my longest to like just not Google it. Yeah, I like refuse to give it the attention. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is gonna die in a week.

I'm not gonna live- And then like, I was just like, it's gonna, it's something that's going to die in a fucking week or something. I don't fucking know. I'll let Twitter burn itself out. I didn't even know what it was called. So like, I got this close to like going on to Google

and being like green and yellow squares on my Twitter timeline. Yeah, then I gave it a week, didn't die, give it two weeks. And people were, still posting about it and I'm just like, okay. I need, I just, I'm just curious. So I guess, how long have you been doing Whirlall now?

For like, for like a good week or something. Okay, just, just, just. Every day, you just log on. When I remember to, when I remember. Normally when I see it pop up my timeline, I'm like, fuck you. That's the reminder. Fuck you.

You look at this man right here. Great, now our, now our fucking staff members are getting into it now. You got three tries? Yeah, David, how many tries did you get? Three? Okay, fuck you. It took me four.

Damn, bigger brain. Take these guys for helping each other, they got a single letter for free. He gave me A, that's hardly. Yeah, he gave me M. No, I gave you M in the right spot. Come on. Sorry.

Like, didn't help. I'm just like, these boys are cheated. This is an individual game. You know, you're not supposed to help each other. You should play Babble Royale. You've seen that game? Scrabble Battle Royale. Oh, yeah, I've heard of it.

That one's fun. I just really miss playing Scrabble. I never played a game of Scrabble. I'd never play the game of Scrabble. You've never played Scrabble? No, like people keep saying like, oh yeah, Uno is a friendship ender, monopolies, no, Scrabble is the real friendship ender.

You know your friendship is fucked when you're fighting with a dictionary in your hand. Like that's when you know your friendship is in the dire strait. It's like, that's like, oh, okay, we've got a problem here. There are a lot of like three and two letter words that you're like, this is a word? Yeah, yeah.

And then when like, you know, And then the argument always comes along of being like, well, if it's like a commonly used word that's not in the dictionary, is it allowed? Like, am I allowed to use the word yeat? Because, you know, Y is like a lot of points. It's not in the dictionary though. And then that's when the friendships just crack.

We should do it on stream. I think Vax and anti-vax is in the dictionary now. There's a lot of point. Double X there. It's a lot of points you can get on. Oh, shit. V and an X? X.

God damn. Everyone's gonna be like scrambling for those V and X's now, man. Are we doing a dictionary run or a non-dictionary run? Because I thought dictionaries weren't allowed in Scrabble. You say it like it's a speed run. It's like a math thing like a calculator or no calculator? Dictionary run, that Scrabble Dictionary run. Sorry, I'm only a dictionary runner.

I don't know the strats for a non-dictionary run. No, no protection. No, no, no, dictionary. No, we should definitely do a Scrabble game on AfterDoc. on AfterDark because that, honestly, like it's, it's legitimately fun. I'm not just saying, like, I'm not being a boomer here, like it's legitimately fun.

You seem to like word games though, because I remember you would, you would count down with just like, yo, this game exists? Yo, how have I never played this game before? Yeah, like countdown I had a lot of fun in and you got me into Wordle. It's all word games, dude. I don't know, it's just something fun about.

But then again, like recently, I have been getting quite boomer. Yeah, I did see your video, which is like, am I getting too old? And I remember seeing that, and I'm just like, fuck you. Fuck you. What are you my comments here? He's the 107.

He's like, I'm dying, guys. Shut the fuck up, though. No, no, because I'm like, if you're old, Joey, then what am I? See, this is how you know, these boys didn't actually watch the video. No, I did watch the video. I did watch the video. No, because I recently got back into golf. And I was like, my God, that is the most boomer thing I've ever done.

See, I don't think golf is a boomer thing. You know, I feel like... It's a privilege. It's a difference. Yeah, yeah. It's a privilege to do you. You know, if you're broke, you're broke, You can't be playing golf, that's just fact.

That's true, that's true. Golf is an abumer thing. Golf is just a, you have a lot of disposable income kind of thing. I think it's just, yeah, but that's the thing, right? I think a lot of people mistake it as a boomer thing because it's played by a lot of people of the older generation, but that's because they have the time and the money now. And also, you know, relatively speaking, golf doesn't really take as much of physical, you know,

tax on you as like, say, you know, a rugby or a cricket, right? But golf is fun as fuck. Yeah, it is. like actually properly into golf when I was younger, like to the point where I started getting like proper golf lessons and everything like that. I went to golf camp a couple of times. You went to golf camp?

Yeah. When I was like 10 years old, I like during like summer holidays. What golf camp? It's literally just like think of you go and like you stay over in like a golf club for like a couple of weeks. Yeah. And every day you just get up and you just learn to play golf.

What? Yeah. And I was I think like 10 years old. You'd like forget how to do it? No, surprisingly, I kind of remembered it. Yeah, because you went to a driving range. I went to a driving range with Marky and Malene because there was one like kind of nearby my house.

Yeah. And it was a really fucking fancy. Like I knew this was, this wasn't like the, you know, the downtown alley like, you know, fucking, we're gonna build this driving range here because there's nothing else around kind of thing. Because it's like, you literally got like a buggy service from the car park to the building.

See, you were far away. See, I feel like there's always levels of like how into you, how into you are you into like golf, right? Because like I've never, obviously I didn't come from the most privileged families. Like the only golf clubs I've ever owned were like a pair of like a set of golf clubs that I bought in a carboot self like 50 bucks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so I always went to like, or you know, the really cheap driving ranges and really cheap, they're really cheaper of golf courses. But those were still fun as fuck.

Yeah, yeah. The ones I went to back in Australia were like still like obviously made in like, you know, it's like 70s and like. 80s. So it's like, it's still very old. Like, you get like a, there's just like this machine that you just like press a button and you put a basket under it and it just like shits out a hundred golf balls into a basket. Yeah. And then you kind of like, you know, one at a time, you put it on the tea and you like whack it off. This one we went to though, I don't know if all Japanese driving ranges like this because this is the first time I went to. Yeah, yeah. But like, you walk in. I'd never seen like this many polo shirts in one building. And it's like everyone,

but like everyone's like slicked hair, like really like pristine pants and everything. Like clearly like I was like, oh okay, we're in like a nice driving range. And they like made us like make these like membership cards that you didn't even have to pay for. You just like you're like, okay, the moment you're here you have to make a membership card.

I was like, okay. So then you'd and then you fill this thing up like a like a credit card. Oh my God. You put like you put cash into it and then you pay for the golf balls using your membership card. Yeah.

But and so like because I was so like, used to the, you know, the pressing the button and then the ball shitting out into a basket. So I was like, I was looking for that machine, right? I was like, okay, where is it? It wasn't there. It was literally just like, it looked like a fucking ATM. And you'd put the card in and you'd be like,

how many balls would you like? And I was like, uh, a hundred. And it's like, okay, go to this, you know, go to this field. It's like, where are the balls? Right. I was like, looking around. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I was like, okay, whatever. I'll just go to it. There's a fucking, you get to it. There's no tea on the green. And I was like, yeah, and I'm like, there's no T, there's no machine that shits out the balls. I was like, okay, what do I do? And there's just like a little like, you know, in like golfing, not golf, a bowling alleys, right? You know, there's like the little tablet that you have that way shows the scores.

There was just like that, but like a tiny one. Right. So I was like, and there's just one button that just says start. Okay. And I was like, okay. I pressed start. The fucking T and the, with the ball on top of it comes out from under the green. Are you serious?

It just goes, mm-hmm. What the fuck? And I was like, oh. And I whack it. Immediately, the moment I whack it, the T goes down, another ball appears in its place. Holy fuck, I've been playing. And I was like, this is the most five head.

Why the fuck was I wasting my time? I was playing golf like a peasant this entire time. I was being an idiot looking around, like, where's the golf ball shitting machine? That makes golf sound hell of fun. It was so good. And then you have like a counter that shows how many balls you have left.

And if you say, for example, like, you know, you pay for 100 balls, but, you know, after a while, after you swing a golf club 100 times, your arms and shoulders start to get a little bit sore, right? Yeah, yeah. So you're like, oh, you know, maybe I just want to, like, call it a day after 80 balls or whatever.

So you just press stop, the money comes back into your membership card and then you can just leave. Fucking hell. And I'm like, how much is it, like, to do it? It was, uh, 2,000 yen, so about $20 for 120 balls. That sounds fun as fuck,

which is honestly not bad. Because like, I remember playing golf as a, a kid and it was like, it has the image of being an old man's sport, but it's like, I still think golf is boring as fuck to watch, right? Yeah. It's one of those sports where like, I, I, I like golf, I'm just like, I like, I like get golf. It's, I don't understand anyone who enjoys watching. The only time I'll ever sit down willingly to watch golf is when I find a YouTube video on my recommender, which is like, top 10 miracles during golf tournaments and show. I don't think playing golf is boomer. I think watching golf is boomer, okay? I'm going to draw. I'm going to draw. Draw the line there. I'm going to draw the line there. Okay. That's fair. That's fair.

But yeah, I mean, like, I remember I was like, actually like super, super into golf. I found it like super fun because I, I wasn't really, really the most athletic kid as a kid. I mean, like I was like in the basketball team, but I feel, I feel like I got put into the basketball team just because I was tall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that was like the prerequisite. Yeah. But I didn't really enjoy so much playing, like, really high intensity, high intensity sports. Yeah. But then I just really enjoyed golf, because it was more of like just a relaxing, you just hone one skill.

And then there is nothing more satisfying than that moment where you just hit the ball perfectly. Yeah. Right? And you can tell you hit the ball perfectly because like sometimes you hit the ball and it slices or you know, sometimes it's to the right and then you could just, you feel it in your hands because there's like a vibration in your hand where you hit it a bit wrong. But when you hit it

and you feel like it's like hitting air. You know what I mean? It's like I'm hitting nothing at all. Yeah, it's like you're hitting nothing or not. I've never played golf. You've never? Only mini golf. Okay, mini golf, I feel mini golf has its own fun. We need to go play golf.

We need to go play golf. We should go to the driving range near my house. Cause like that place was actually, like I want to go back. Yeah, I dead ass after that session. I looked at Markey dead in the eyes and I was like, where do I go to buy a golf set? I was legit this close to just buying a golf set. It was like, I remember the one moment that sold me on golf as a kid

because I went to the driving range. driving range is just fun because you just fucking hit a ball. And you just, you don't matter. It's just really satisfying hitting a ball, you know. I always wanted to. Yeah, but like, on like, on like the actual golf course is where you have to, you have to, you have to like actually think about what you're doing. You can't just like blindly hit a ball.

And I remember like I was, I had an instructor at the time. And so like on the driving range and in golf in general. So if you don't know golf, there's like a set of golf clubs and that is numbered, right? So the lower the number, the, the, like, the less. The sharper the incline is of the club, right? No, no, it's less inclined. Oh, less inclined. Yeah, yeah.

So for example, like a two iron goes almost straight, right? So it's a lot harder to get the ball up and give it like air time, right? So for me, like my comfort, my comfort zone was like a nice seven-nine. I was about to say. It's the seven-nine. The seven-nine is like the comfort.

The comfort-go. Because like on the driving range, if you want to feel like you can play golf, you get out of the seven. because you can get a decent amount of air with a seven iron, like almost guaranteed. It's like a perfect 45 degrees. Yeah, but also like a decent amount of distance as well.

So you could feel like, yeah, I can whack a fucking ball. I can whack a fucking ball. So like, so I remember I was on this golf course with this instructor, right? And so how I, and so between me and the flag, so basically the hole, there was like this, this hill, right? Yeah. on the hill was like a sand trap, right?

So I needed to get enough air to get over the sand trap and also onto like, onto the green, right? I don't feel like I know where this is going. No, and so, and so, and so in my mind, I'm like, this is two shots, this is two shots, right? Because I need to get over the sand trap and then another shot to get to the green. So what happens?

I pull out my trusty comfort seven iron, my good old trusty seven iron, right? And, and I'm about to hit it, and my golf instructor goes, no. you're not using that seven iron. I've been using the seven iron for the entire golf course. And he picks out the three iron, right? And he goes, use this.

And he goes, I go, I can't use that. I can't get enough air. I'm going to hit the sand trap. And he goes, no, you can do it. I believe in you. And I'm just like, and I just like, what? No, no, I can't do this. This is, this is three.

This isn't even a five iron. This is a three iron. He goes, no, just do it. Just trust, just trust me, just do it. And I remember like, it was like, it was like, you know, being like when Neo discovered that he was the one in the Matrix. Yeah, because I remember hitting this ball and I couldn't believe that it just like,

so this was the sand trap, the ball went here. It went just perfectly enough over the sand trap. And it perfectly landed on the green. Right. And I was just like, what is this feeling? Am I the chosen one? What is this? I know, like, I like remember that moment for the rest of my life

because like that was the most satisfying shot I've ever hit. in golf. And from that moment on, I was like, even as a kid, I was like, I can see why people play golf now. The only thing that would have topped that experience is if your golf instructor in the Wii sports voice was like, nice shot. Nice approach. So, I mean, it is a very rewarding sport. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, all sports are. Yeah, because so like when I was at the driving range, because it was fucking, I don't know, five, six years at least minimum since I last went to a driving range. I think it was in high school last time I went. So obviously I was like, I knew, you know, basically like how to swing and everything, but I was fucking slicing that bitch

like crazy every single time. And I'm like, man, what? Why am I slicing it? Yeah. And just like, it got to the point where I was like dead pan serious, just like slowly like just fucking doing every single movement possible being way too serious about the shit. And I was like, and at one point I remember I was like, I got it. I swung. Locked on. Yeah, I locked on. I was like, this is the position right here.

I just have to nail this. And the moment I got it, I think I nutted. Like it was, because again, it's like, as Garn said, it's like, when you hit that perfect straight, like, perfectly angled shot, you just hear the cleanest, like, whack sound. Yeah. And nothing else.

But when you fuck up, you hear like a, like, it's like a really like fucked up sound. Yeah. It's like the best way I can describe it. It's like, you know, when some F, when you play some FPS, games and you get that headshot, right? And like a lot of like FPS games have this like really satisfying sound when you get that

headshot, right? Dink sound. Like like golf just has that IRL. You know, when you get that satisfying like perfectly like perfect headshot on that golf ball, it's like designs. I want to go. How do you get into golf? It's not like a thing that- Well, okay, so I didn't have a, I don't have a golf set or anything. Mucky and Mainleen does. But a lot of those places like driving and stuff like that, they give you rentals. So the only ones they gave me was a seven iron, because of course. Is that just universal?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's just like the, you've never played, just use this. We'll start you off of the seven iron. So they, all they gave me was a driver and a seven iron. Right. I like Happy Gilmore. You get into the run-up? Yeah, I mean, that's a good movie.

Yeah, and then you just like, kind of just get a feel for it after a while. But it's, I think it's definitely best to go with it. someone who knows at least the bare minimum. Knows how to swing a golf club. My brother played a lot of golf. I can't remember. He played like, I think he did like tournaments and stuff. Really?

Yeah, but I never did it. I was always more into like stuff that was like way more active. Right, right, right, right. Running or headbting. That's great. I mean, golf is like monkey mode, but like it's controlled monkey mode

because you just, you just gotta whack. That doesn't sound very monkey mode. What do you want to, stop trying to describe golf in a way that I like. That's not how it is. You're just whacking a ball. I mean, how, how. That's not monkey mode.

No, just think of, no, instead of monkey mode, you just monkey mode, you just swing like in the wild. Just think of it, instead of an FPS, where you shoot someone in the head, it's like an FPS, but like the bullet is the end of the golf stick and the ball is the head. That's such a shit, man. That's all it is.

That's all it is. You get the perfect shot, boom. Satisfi- You don't even sound me on golf. I want to try. This episode is sponsored by Boxer. Do you guys smell that? Smell what, God? Well, the smell of fresh spring air is all around us.

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with the monthly box suit. I'll have what he's having. Back to the episode. Have you guys ever been to any of the batting cages before? Yeah. Yeah. I fucking love it. A lot harder than it looks.

It is a lot harder than it. It's also a lot scarier than it looks. Yeah. Because even when you put it on like the slowest mode, I think a lot of machines throw at like 80 kilometers an hour, and that's slow. Yeah. And you're like, oh yeah, that doesn't sound too.

too fast or anything, but then you remember that's like the speed that cars travel on some highways and you're like, oh, that's, that's pretty fast. I can hit a car with a baseball bat. I can't hit a ball. At one cost. Yeah, I mean, my arms are probably fall off. Yeah, those things are fucking hard.

I remember I tried to do the 120. Yeah, and out of like 20 shots, I managed to hit one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just guessing. It's getting into the speed, yeah. It's got a lot harder learning curve than when you, in every fucking mini game on like any LPG. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cause like in like, you play on like persona five, whatever, you miss the first two shots. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There's, you can go to Baton Gage. Yeah, of course, of course. You can do homework in Pesona. Why, why couldn't you like, do like, go to baton gauges?

That's how you up your charisma, do you. Yeah. Is it actually? Yeah. How does it up your charisma? Because the more shots you get, the more charismatic. You're so likable.

Yeah, it's like, damn, do you got 19 out of 20? Shit, yeah. This more charismatic as fuck. That what a weird way to define. Yeah, but I remember like, you played on persona or any mini-game or fucking, probably Yakuza or something. Yeah, of course. Yeah, and you missed like the first two balls

and you're like, okay, I got a feel for this. You start getting them. In real life, you miss like the first 10 and you're like, I don't even, I can't even keep up with this. Like, my eyes still- In real life, it's not even like, you can't even attempt to swing after the first few. Like, the first few is like seeing

how fast the ball actually goes. And by the time you realize it, it's behind you. And like, oh. Okay, I'm gonna be here for a while. And then maybe around like swing seven or eight, you're like, I think I have the courage to start swinging it. I just never swing fast enough. Yeah, my eyes were just way faster than my arms.

That's what I learned. I mean, I'm British, so we don't play baseball. Yeah, no, no. No, no. Oh, I mean, yeah, I mean, you know, Australia doesn't play baseball either. So like, holding a baseball bat was just weird and trying to hit a baseball. Yeah, but we play cricket.

We, I didn't play cricket. Well, the Welsh and the British. I did not play any, I've never played cricket. Did you play cricket? I played in the infield one time. I had to catch it, but I never got to bat. But like everyone, everyone bats though? No, but like, because we were, when we,

in school, we only had like an hour, right? Oh, I see you didn't, we never played it that often. Did you never play in like PE or whatever? Yeah, we did, but I was always in the infield. I don't know why. But like the teams swap over. Yeah, I know, but we never had time to. We ran out of time.

So I, we never played it often. Because you know, you have to do like every sport. Yeah, yeah. So we only did cricket often. I was never good at the team games. That's what I learned. I'm really bad at team games. And we never did golf because that's like

how are you gonna get kids to play golf? Yeah. It's not practical. I mean golf wasn't like, never a P.E. It was more of just like after. Yeah, like a extracurricular thing. Yeah, yeah.

But we did like, um, I don't know, we did like everything. What was your favorite sport during PE? I always liked athletics and we did that. Like running long jump, high jump, stuff like that. Yeah, javelin. Javelin. Javlin was really fun. That's because I was like a fucking animal.

You seem like a short point. Yeah. You seem like a short point. like a shotbook kind of guy. That doesn't surprise me. Why doesn't surprise me? I, as much as I've tried my goddamn hardest, I cannot run long distances.

No matter how much I practice, I'm sure there's some God tier runner in the comments being like, you just gotta power through me, I gotta get that wall, you gotta keep going, never stop, get that pump on, you gotta breathe through your nose. You know, like I am a sprinter, that's what I always was.

And like, whenever I, no matter how many times I'd trained, I just was shit. doing long distance. But I wanted my, to sell goddamn bad. Yeah, so I ended up just doing sprinting and like, like, to me, it's like sprinting and like throwing and long jump is all kind of explosive. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for me,

high jump and long jump was like the ones I excelled. I sucked. Yeah, long jump, long jump for me was the best one that I was, that I was in athletics as well. I was just really good at jumping. I don't know. Sure, Jay. Yeah.

Yeah. Did you, uh, because my school was really small. I've said this a bunch. So, like, I was the only one who went to athletics after school. Like, because we had a local track that had been funded by the lottery. So right next to where I live, there was just amazing facilities, like, amazing track. Nothing like this anywhere else near me. Because this is just, like, unheard of.

It was, like, an actual good track. Yeah. So I used to go there, and I was the only person in my, like, year who did this. So I was the only one who knew how to throw, like, a javelin, knew to throw a shot putt, knew how to do the long jump, like, the correct one. Did you do discus and stuff like that? I didn't do discus. So, so we were doing it and every year we had the sports day, right?

Did you have to do the track and field? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you had like houses, the Gryffindor and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I was in like, I was in like the house called of scissors in Wales. Sissons, scissors. There was a rock or paper.

Oh, it was like, sizzled or something. Yeah. And did you have, how did you decide who does the events? How did you decide this? Basically, it was just like, Yeah, it was like, would you like to go to this event? If there was someone who was obviously the best at an event, they would be like, well, you're obviously.

Oh, no, for us it was just like, you just put your hand up and it's like, who wants to do the 100 meter sprint? And then everyone who wants to do it, puts their hands up and then if you didn't wanna do it, you didn't want to. So if there was too many people, how did they decide? Oh, everyone did it.

Oh, there was no limit? Yeah, well, I mean, to be fair, my school as well was also very, very small. Like, we only had like, you know, 500 people in our school. How many people were in your grade or year? Like 60. Okay. So yeah, it's about same for me.

Yeah. And so there was like only two or three people were allowed to do each event. Right. And for the first few years when I did it, there was no limit on how many you could do. And so I was just like, I'll just do like everything. Yeah.

Because I liked, I loved sprinting. I loved racing as well. Yeah. So I'd do like, yeah, I'll do the 100, 200, 400, long jump, the triple jump, javelin, shot put. And it was fun, it was good. Because there was some people in my,

because we only had like groups of like 15 of us. Yeah. I was like half of them that were like, I don't wanna do anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, there always was, yeah. For me, you had like a maximum of four,

but like everyone did like four or something like. See, so then there was one year where like, I did 100, 200 and I'd won all of the events but one. And so I was like, oh, this is fun. I won like six out of seven events and like, and then the next year they were like, no. You can only do, yeah, you can only do three now. And I was like, why?

They's nerfed you. I was like, why you didn't earth me, huh? That's not fair. But this is the thing, right, is that I'm sure if I went to any other school where people, like, knew how to do, like, throw a javelin correctly, or, like, jump correctly. Because, like, this is when, like, long jump,

everyone was still doing the jump where you, like, just jump. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the one where you jump into a sit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it was really easy to, like, do better. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, once if, yeah, I mean, same with, like, high jump as well.

Right, if you knew how to do the jump, yeah, everyone just, like, did, did like, the, you know, the standing scissor kick way, but like I was doing the full like fucking archback. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then you're like, oh my god, this guy's a god. Yeah.

The other kids can't compete if you're like actually doing like professional technique. Exactly. I'm like, oh yeah, of course you're only gonna be able to jump like immediately. You're fucking doing this. The scissor kick? Yeah, the scissor kick. It's like, yeah, of course. I could do that there.

I was terrible. I was really fun there. I really liked it. Yeah. I mean, when you're winning, of course you like it. Yeah, yeah. I thought that would make me popular, didn't know. Yeah.

Like during elementary, I was like dominating long jump and height. And, uh, yeah, I did- Joe turns up, yeah, guys, I'm here. I definitely did not make me popular. If anything, it just gave people more cannon for them, right? To be like, oh, your name's Joey and you're good at jumping things. Just like a baby kangaroo.

I never fucking heard the end of that. I, Christ. I just, I just feel like, I just saw your soul just leave your eyes, like, like years of like, The performance just came rushing back there. Pizzinger! One time, very, very tense moment.

I just, I just won the 100 meters. And immediately after, they were like, let's do the 200 meters. They didn't think let's space it out. Right? So I was actually naked. And I was lining up for the 200 meters. And I really, really, really wanted the win. I wanted this more than anything.

I don't know why I was so ultra competitive. This is like the Olympics for me. Yeah, I was like, I need this. I was so goddamn nervous. that like, I was like, what is this? I felt like a little drizzle, go down my leg. Right? I was so nervous that like,

I, for like a brief moment, I peed myself. Like 0.1 seconds, and I was like, stop. It's like a little bit. Yeah, it was like a little beep. And I was like, that's never happened before. What was that? Fuck.

Luckily I, but, you know, I didn't give a shit that I peed myself. My party was like, no one else saw that, right? No one else saw that drizzle. But luckily, I was so sweaty from the previous event still that nobody had thought that I pissed myself. You just like, shake it off. I was like, just shake your leg.

Just like, let's get back to it, boys. I went to it and then, yeah, I won, but I really needed the piss after it. My bladder, it was, I've you ever been that nervous? Your bladder is completely opened. Yeah, I've had that before. Has that happened? You don't trust me.

I didn't know that could happen until it happened. I've done the little, like, before. I was like, oh god. I had that during, I had that before like a really important like piano competition. It happens, it happens. But at least, but like the problem was I had it a lot worse than you. You probably wear like nice pants. I was wearing a suit.

Oh no. I was wearing shorts. Yeah. And you were already sweaty, right? Yeah, yeah. I was like in a well air-conditioned room, like long pants, like in a suit. With like all these like really properly dressed like Asian kids next to me. And I was like, oh fuck.

Could you see it? Could you see the pills? Luckily not, but my God, it was hard to use the pedal while my leg was also a little bit wet. I was like, oh God, I did the stream get down? Did they go all the way? Like, almost my knee. Oh my God, that's not.

They miss this fucking scene in your life in your line April. Yeah, when they're fucking waiting. I love the chapter where corset pisses itself. When you're a kid, you get anxious. Exactly. I also used to try. I felt really bad for the kid who had to follow after me. Oh my God.

Because I'm like, I didn't check, but I was like, I'm sorry if the seat is a little wet. There's a wet patch right there. That seat is warm. I fucking nailed the competition though, so worth it in the end, but I was- So did you win the 200 meters? I did, I did.

I was also so competitive to the point where, I don't know if I can do this now, but when I was a kid, when I was running, and I thought like, oh, I really, oh, I really need to stop. I just wouldn't stop. And I would always end up throwing up when I stopped.

When I stopped. You were that kid. You were the kid who just threw up everywhere, always. Because, right? To me, it was like, I was like, no, I need to win. Like, I have to win. So, like, if there was a, like, I'm at the last stretch,

and I still got a little left in me. And I'm like, I can't stop now. I need to throw up. So one year, this is again, so I was doing like six events. and I'd won the 100, I'd won the 200, and again, right after it, what comes after the 200?

It's the 400. Yeah. Because it's kind of like the same thing. Yeah. You sprint at the end, you kind of run fast at the start. Why would they not split it up? They were, it was a school. Because at our school, they split it off.

Yeah, I think they might have assumed that different people would be doing different events. I think they assumed people would do different things. So, like, I would get maxed like two minutes break. Yeah. So I was doing the 400, right? And I was already like, before I even started this race, I remember I was like,

like, because I was already, still naked from the other one. And I was like, how the fuck am I gonna win this one? Yeah. And so I'm in this race, right? I'm, I get to the 200 meter mark, right? This is where you're like, the on switch has to come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, start sprinting. Yeah.

Cause I'm, I'm, I'm like, kind of like, I'm in the middle. I'm not really in, I'm kinda, I got a lot of ground to make up because I was going a little too slow. Yeah. So I just start going crazy, man. I get like to 50 meters and I'm like, oh no. Oh, on the side, on the side of the race track. Right. Luckily it's a grass racetracks,

and that shit's extra compost. And luckily, I was not in the middle. Oh yeah. I was on the, I was in the first lane. So I just, I'm like 50 meters into this sprint. I'm going all out and I just have to, I just have to, and it became a, I came a bit of a laughing stock for the rest of that day.

That would have been amazing to see. I was literally just like powering through like a machine and then just like had to just start vomiting. It was awful. My God. Because I just didn't know my limits as a kid. I just didn't, like, yeah. My willpower was just beyond my body's ability, apparently.

But it happened all the time during long distance as well, I always threw up. Yeah, like I sucked a long distance. I think most three because I have asthma. So I could only do like 200 meters at most before my asthma would like start to kick in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was rough, man. Long distance is horrible.

Yeah, it is. Because it was really muddy and freezing. It was always during winter. Did you do winter? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta be a real massacist to enjoy long run. Like long running. Like it's like, why would you,

especially people who do it for like club activities, and stuff. It's like, what do you do after school? I run. Yeah. Why? Because. So, did they make all the kids do it when you did it? Yeah. No, so, like, if kids, so basically kids could opt in and out at our school. Oh, you couldn't opt in and out. Every kid needed to do an activity.

Yeah. You know, you didn't have to do, like, a certain, like, you know, a certain amount, but you needed to do at least one. Oh. No, no, no. There were some years where I was just like, I don't want to do anything today. Dude, for my school, it was like, on this day we're doing, we're doing two kilometers, you have to do the two kilometers. Oh, fuck that, yeah. You have no choice.

We had, we had other events for that kind of stuff where like kids had to do it. Are you talking about PE or Sports Day? PE. Okay. No, if it's PE, then yeah, if we're doing an activity, sorry, sorry, yeah. If it's PE, if there's an activity, you have to do the activity.

Yeah, because I remember that like, they would like get really angry at the kids that were just like walking in long distance. They would shout at them and be like, fuck you do it! Like, it's just like fucking army. Yeah, right, right.

Like the SAS or whatever. How many, like, so, because like we had, at our school, we had like, I think like four different sports days or like four different. What? Yeah. So we had the, we had the track. Winter Olympics in Australia. No, so we had like a track and field day. Yeah.

And then we also had like a, what we called the swimming carnival, which was we went to like our local swimming pool. And we would do like swimming like events. We got, we got one sports day in the year and it was like, we also, we went to like, we got one sports day in the year. And it was like, every kid, every kid looked forward to it because it was just basically a day off from school where you just do fun stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you could just sit on the grass if you didn't give a show.

And then we had another sports day where we did it on the beach. So we did like, you know, like beach flags and like, you'd like races, like a thousand meter races on the beach and stuff like that, like surfing events and stuff like that. And that was just like another day

where like if kids didn't wanna do it then kids didn't have to do it. And then we had a fourth one during the winter and this was the worst one. It was called, they don't have it anymore, But it was called the walkathon. Walkathon. Yeah.

So it's, think of like a marathon, right? Which is like 42. something kilometers. Yeah. It's that, but you can walk it if you want. So basically, it was basically, we start from the school, you'd walk 20 kilometers across like seven or eight beaches because that was like the area we lived in. And then you'd turn around and you walk all the way back to the school.

And you'd had to do that during the day. What? And I think they got rid of it because some, I think some of like the higher grade kids were just like calling Uber's. I would, fuck that. Yeah, fuck that. Yeah, because like you,

when you reach like the halfway point, you'd get like a sticker, like, put on your, like, wrist. So like, that's how you'd know when you came back to the school that you made it to the halfway point. So it's like, that was their like foolproof way of making sure you did the whole thing. Speed runners be like, I found it, I found a clip.

Yeah, I found a clip. It's the Uber glitch. It's the Uber glitch. So what the senior kids would do is that like, They'd walk away from, you know, they do maybe like the first kilometer. They'd like walk into a street, call an Uber. Get them the drive to like a kilometer away

from the halfway point and they just like come out being like, oh, hey, I made it. And then they do it again. And but I think they got rid of it because like kids were cheating, but it was also like a charity event for the school. Right. So like you had to like, you know, you had to pay like, I think it was like a dollar

per student or whatever for like this charity. Pay to walk 42 kilometers. I mean for some kids it was like, Oh, fuck yeah, we just have to walk today, don't have to do class, hell yeah, I'll take that. Did you forget, uh, tall off in school for stuff you did outside of school? Like, uh, like, as in the school grounds

or outside school grounds? Like what? So, like, the area where I went to school was like really small. Yeah. And like, I was like, I don't know how old I was, must be like 13, 14. Yeah.

I was like, there was like a bunch of like ruined castles where I grew up. And one time I was like climbing the wall, this castle, Yeah. And a teacher happened to be walking in that park during the day. And she just saw me. She didn't say anything, but I was just climbing it.

I was having a great time. Probably wasn't the safest thing. Yeah. It was quite high up. And then I came into school the next Monday because it was on like a weekend. I got bollicked by the fucking teachers. They told me off.

And I was like, I was so confused. I was like, this doesn't, it's allowed it. It was outside of school. What? And they were telling me off for climbing this wall outside of school. Not even any. We were near school.

I don't think, I was like the titch- Yeah, I don't think we had anything like that because, like, because the town that I grew up in was like, it was small but it was also quite wide. Yeah. So like, yeah, I don't think I ever saw my teachers outside of school. Yeah, I mean, I was in like home on Brighton, so, you know, I mean, that's like a city, so I don't think people cared about.

Did you guys have like, did your schools have any rivalries with like, other schools? We were attached to another school. Yeah, we had like a sister school as well. So like our, the school I went to was the boys school and then like at the bottom of the hill there was the girl school, the sister school. We like physically, our schools were physically attached.

Oh, no, no. But there were different schools? Yeah, so you could walk into the other school from our school. That just sounds like a bad time. That sounds like, did, that sounds like fights, yeah, yeah, yeah, were there a lot of fights.

Yeah, yeah, it was like the corridor, like, where like the walls were like different colors, like, there's a weird line, right? So that's where like, if shit went down, it was always like, at this like, it was like the DMZ in like North Korea. It was like, my God, standing on the boil.

It was like shit we're in now. So the reason why this weird, like, it sounds really bizarre, right? Yeah. So we were a while speaking school and we were really small. And the one we were attached to was a massive English speaking. It's really fucking big English speaking school.

Because our school was too small and like poor to have our own like sports facilities. Right. So that school also had this massive sport like kind of complex attached to it. Swimming pool, tennis, like massive sports halls, AstroTurf, massive fields, tennis courts, everything, right? Yeah.

They had everything, like rugby pitches, literally everything. And so our school would basically share the facilities with them. So whenever we needed to go to use the pool or anything, we always walked through this school. Right. Yeah. So we could walk through their school,

but they couldn't walk through our school. Because our schools are on the edge. Why would the, like, I'm just imagining, like the architect of that building just be like, this is gonna be hilarious. It's weird, yeah, it's weird, yeah. They just wanted to make a fight club between kids, because of course kids are gonna fucking fight each other, right?

And there was like, there was like, there was that corridor and there was two outside gates that also connected that were pretty big. So whenever it was like snow or anything as well, that would turn into like the fighting zone. Yeah. I just remember the story of, like, going back to the teachers getting angry outside of the school grounds. Did you guys ever used to do like PE activities,

activities outside of school. Yeah, of course. Yeah, you'd go to that place. So like one of the ones that we did, uh, quite often was because, because our school was right next to the beach, we did a lot of like ocean kayaking, um, which was like really fun, right? Like you just like, two or three boys at a time, get on a kayak, you know, oh yeah, it was very dangerous. Um, but damn, kayak, he got a kayaking. Yeah, we're wicking. I got to go kayaking. You guys got to go kayaking. Yeah, and say, what the fuck? What sailing? Yeah, we had sailing. I had, I had to sail. I had to sail. God, I'm so, I'm so jealous. Well, like, though, though, there was one That was one moment in kayaking.

It's such a bad story. But there was like, because we were on Manly Beach and on one of the beaches, because it's like a bay, basically. So it's surrounded by these cliffs and there's a lot of like really like pristine penhouses that are like kind of overlooking the bay if you like kind of look up at the cliffs.

There was this one time where some, we were just kayaking along the bay and then one of the boys was like, Oi! Check it out! I was like what? And we look up. And there's just like a chick standing like in a bikini, just like looking down at us.

Right. And, you know, she was a very attractive lady. And we were, you know, we were like in 11th grade. So we were like 17, 18, stuff like that. Yeah, yeah. So basically one of the kids was like, sorry, I know what he's going to say. So one of the boys just starts going, tits out for the boys.

Tits out for the boys. Tits out for the boys. And then the most Australian. And then a couple of the other boys start joining along. Tits out for all the boys. And then before you know it, there's like 15 kayaks, like 30 boys in this bay just all going, Tits out for the boys! Tits out for the boys!

Tits out for the boys! The Thunder Joe. It was like a scene out of Mad Max. It was fucking crazy. And then, of course, the girl flashes, everyone goes, yeah! She did it? Oh my God.

And the teacher, and of course, and of course the teacher we had that day was a female teacher. She was like, what the fuck are you boys doing? And we just like, and we just bolt in our kayaks, just like get away from the teacher. We got absolutely rinsed at the end of the most

teenage Australian boy story of it ever heard. Yeah, yeah, this is what, this is what happened in the early school. Tits? Tits? I just remember that. How Joey didn't. turned into our slash nice guys.

I don't know. I don't know how that happened. I don't know. I did join in the chant. Oh my God. Just from peer pressure. Jerry committed misogyny. I committed misogyny, I'm sorry.

They didn't let you do anything like that? No, I mean like I wouldn't trust a kid out in the sea. I'm surprised out other people did. We got to go to areas in Wales that were like kind of like camps for like three, four days. And they were basically like, they would be like, listen, boys, we got a, we can do kayaking

or you can do sailing. Problem is you only got six sailboats. And we got, we got, everyone else can do kayaking, like 30 kids. And I was like, well, shit, I wanna, even though I didn't really like sailing, I didn't know anything about it. I was like, well, that's the one that has less.

I wanna do that. So I put my hand up to do it and somehow I got chosen to do it. I did sailing, I fucking loved it. It was amazing. But they gave us those like, you know, boat plastic, like really cheap boat plastic, the one where you like knock it

and it sounds hollow. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really coarse as well. Like, it's basically like a boat that was a shell of plastic with a, like, what's it called? Is it a hole? What's the thing that goes to the bottom? Not a rudder.

Sail. It goes in the bottom. I have no idea. I don't remember. I forgot what it's called. So you just have this slab of plastic you put in to allow you to sail, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when he learned how to sail and it was great.

And, yeah, it was really good because, like. Talking about the mast. The mast. The mast. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. I've never sailed before in my life, so I have no idea.

This master was at the front, and then it was one way you turn it, and then they're in the bottom, underneath the water, you slide in a thing. Not the rudder. I don't know, I don't know. It's a sailboat, so you didn't do the direction with the, you did the direction with the sail,

not the- Like you'd pull on the sail or something out of that, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really cool, because like, you'd be doing that badass shit, like you'd be leaning, half the boat would be out the water. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, The sail, dude, it was so fucking cool. You're like horizontal on the water. Just drifting.

Dude, like, legit. Is it a keel? Maybe, I don't know. Either way, so, and then you would like, you'd be taught, like, okay, let's say you flip your boat. Here's how you jump out the boat, jump on the piece of plastic outside the boat, push it down, jump back in the boat and get it back in. So fucking cool.

I loved it so much. I got really good at it. And then the head guy was like, you know what? Every year or so, the kid who gets really good at sailing. And I let him try the real boat. And I'm like, oh shit, really? And then so he like out of this like really gross looking shed in the water, it was one of those sheds that was like kind of,

there's no floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He pulls out this massive catamaran, massive. Yeah, right, right? Bear in mind, I've been in this like one person boat. Yeah, this thing could easily fit like four to six people on it, right? He's like, go take it out for a spin.

And I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, this sucks fucking scary. What do you say it like the rich uncle's thorns a Ferrari? Yeah, yeah, right? Let's take it out for a spin, boy. Not like the sword and the stone test. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's see if you can handle this one, right?

So I start taking this thing out. It's going well, I'm managing it. It's a lot harder. You have to run, you have to like get across way more, a lot more really full body, because you've got to really like get under me. Put your body away. You gotta like throw yourself around

on this thing to steer it. It's going well, it's going well. Suddenly we get a big gust of wind and I'm trying my goddamn best to save this. I'm trying my best, I get to the side. I'm trying to like, I'm trying to unleash the mass so that we can get some like,

we can get the boat back down. Unfortunately, the boat just keeps going, it keeps going, and then it does it. It gets sideways. Right, right. From this point now, this boat is too heavy. Unlike the other boat, right, my body weight could shift it back. My body weight can't do shit. Yeah. And it is literally like the sinking boat, like Titanic. It is just like, I'm sitting on the top of the boat, like at the top of the just slowly going down. Until it gets about the halfway point where it won't sink anymore. So I'm just sitting there. And then he, he can't. He comes over disappointingly in like the speedboat.

And he's like, I see. He's like, well, the, he's like, You were not the one. He's like, I see. He's like, well, at least help me tie this, tie the rope around this part and I'll turn it back over. And then he got on the boat and he was like, I'll show you how to drive it.

And I was like, I let him down. He sailed it back and then I was like a disappointment and I was never allowed to try it again. Wow. There was a fucking, I felt like that was a, look in hindsight, I was like that was a ridiculous. I feel like that was a big step up. That was a big jump.

It was alone. As well with the catarine, you can normally have, like, two people on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the big one with the big net, you know what it is, right? It's ridiculous. It wasn't like a full-sized, massive one. It was like a smaller version, but still it was like.

I'm so jealous. I never got to do that in my school. And we live on a fucking, we live in Brighton. You live in Brighton, yeah. White, like, not even kayaking. It was in a lake and a river, so it's a lot easier. It was a really big lake, but I don't, you wouldn't wanna do that in the ocean. In the ocean.

Oh, no, no, that's dangerous. You get swept fucking away. In this lake, you would just get happy for me, I'm about it. No big, yeah, I mean, I don't think there was any, like, big lakes near us, so we didn't really do any water sports. I think the most we did was just we had like a, we had like a swimming pool, a local swimming pool. What do you mean, there's lakes everywhere?

I know, I mean, we, we, not, not, like, how far did you drive to get to this lake? Two, three hours. You drive two, three hours just for this one? That's like the entirety of Wales. That's like, that's like a, that's like a fucking school trip for us. It was. Oh, yeah, it was like a, it was like a, it was a three-day weekend. in school trip.

Oh, you made it sound like it was one afternoon. Yeah, yeah, we, this is for this one lesson in PE. No, I said three or four days, three or four days. Oh, no, because like the kayaking thing for once was just like down the road. Oh, no, no, no, this like, it's like, so there's like areas in the, I'm pretty sure it's funded by the Welsh government.

Like, basically every Welsh school gets like a weekend there. Oh, okay. So everyone gets to have turns. So these like, they're like really fucked up. Okay, that makes more sense. So like, yeah, there's like, you know, it's kind of like a thing you go. It's like, hey, try a bunch of different sports,

try kayaking, Try canoeing, try sailing, wall climbing, like everything, just try and do everything and see what you like. And so it was really fun. I'm glad I got to do it. I wish I kept up with sailing, but unfortunately, sailing is a very luxury sport

to be able to do. It's not like, oh yeah, you can just go sailing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, unfortunately. It sucks really, because I feel like there's so many sports out there that I could have fell in love with, but the financial and stability of, like that's most,

the absolute economical state. That was like, Every sport ever for everyone, right? I mean, that was like me in skiing and snowboarding. That's why I never was able to get into it because my family unfortunately could never afford to go on a skiing or snowboarding trip. It's either not enough money, not enough space or both.

Yeah. Well, I'd love to, I've been skiing and snowboarding like the majority of my life and I would love to earn a snowboard or skis, but it is an absolute nightmare to deal with transporting it and taking it everywhere. And I also, it's really expensive. It is expensive, yeah. I know that you can ship it from hotel to like,

God, you sound like you had such like fun school trips. Like you went to like America for a school trip. Yeah, that's fucking crazy to me. Well that was, that was insane. That was like the first year they did there. Yeah, that was really expensive as well. I remember I had to like beg my parents

and they were like, because our school wasn't that rich. Like I think the richest thing that our school did for the rugby team because we like excelled in sports at our school was like the senior rugby team was allowed to like play rugby in Europe for like, oh wow. Yeah, but like that was only like the select like

maybe like, you know, top 20 people who were like good at rugby. I can't even remember what we did for our school trips. The rest of the time we just went to like the local water silo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Something boring. I don't know if this is just because like,

it's a really small place, but I imagine that when you're in a city, it probably feels like less inclined to get you out of the city. Whereas when you're in the countryside, there's nothing, right? So I feel like they had way more pressure to try and get you to do something. Yeah, especially because, you know,

at least sport in the, Wales, like sports is like a massive deal. It's a very important part of like the culture and doing sports as seen as a very very like, like, you have to do it. Not, not, not, it doesn't matter what you do, just do sports. Like it seems like you got to do. So, you know, there's a really big incentive for them to make us go and do sports and go on sports trips and do all this kind of stuff. I think the furthest we ever went in a school trip or anything was like during like school camps. Yeah. But that we did every year. And that was like maybe like, you know, four or five hours away. Yeah. Which in the grandest scheme of Australia is not far at all.

But like, yeah, I don't remember like going on like school excursions going further than like an hour away. Yeah, I mean, I think the furthest I ever went for a school trip was like France. It's because every school trip goes to France. For like, you're in Brighton. Yeah, yeah, exactly. At least you fucking Europeans got to go to other countries.

That was not in and for us. Other countries are like, don't exist. Yeah, it's like, oh, what's the closest country? Papua New Guinea. How far away is that? Like a three hour of plane ride. It's like, cool. Your own.

country is like far away from your own country. Yeah, we didn't even get to go to the other states. Like, no, that's too far. God, God forbid, we're gonna be on a plane for an hour and a half. No, of course not. You probably had better school facilities, though, than we had. We got to go on a trip and they were like, yeah, just forget about the fact that you have to share a chair.

I mean, even then it was like, you know, like school camp, for example, it was like, yeah, I guess, you know, everyone got their own scene on the bus or whatever, but like, that was the most we got. We got. We got that. We got your ASE on the bus. What privilege.

Yeah. Well, okay, what were your, I didn't get school meals, but like, were your school meals good? What did you get in? We didn't get school meals. There was no cafeteria? There was a cafeteria. Yeah, like, what do they serve at the cafeteria?

Uh, the most, like, luxury thing ever was, uh, it was just a chicken, two chicken tenders in a broad roll. That was legit. That was, that should cost $4.00 for $4. To me, you knew the kids who were eating goods or who were the kids that could afford a ham and cheese panini. Like if it was a ham and cheese panini? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got a fucking panini dude? Bro, they gave you more than they just called it bread. That was all we, everything, everything was bread. For us it was literally just two fucking microwave chicken tenders in a hot dog roll and then if you wanted ketchup or mayonnaise it was available for you for like 20 cents. Oh my God. But even then it was like, because, so like,

I never bought anything at the adult cafeteria just because I was like, I'm not fucking paying $4.50 for a chicken dend roll. Like that's ridiculous. This is where Child Connor really learned inflation. Because this is where I really came to hit me. Because I remember I used to have this, I was always given the same amount of money

from like the young age to spend at the cafeteria. And I remember like when I started high school, I could get any of the meals. They were amazing meals. By the end, I literally couldn't buy any of the meals unless I like had half a meal the day before. and then saved and then, yeah. Why did you not renegotiate with your parents?

Really like, like, mom, dad? Their mindset was like, well, your brother, man, it was completely fine through high school with this much. So why are you in problem? Well, yeah, because I think in my household, like, I got allowance for doing chores, like per month. And, you know, it was like maybe like, you know, 20 bucks per month, right?

Which, you know, too, a 10-year-old is a lot of money. Yeah. But at the same time, you know, when your school at age 10, gave you fucking meat pies for like $1.50, you know? And like, you know those like fucking squeezy ketchup packets? Those were 20 cents. And I was like, dog, I'm not paying 20 cents.

I'm not paying a literal 100th of my monthly allowance for a little fucking squirt of ketchup. Like I'm not fucking doing that. You guys didn't have packed lunches? Like I had to have packed lunches for most of the days. Yeah, so like most of my days for me as well was like packed lunches, right? Because my mom was like, no, fuck.

I'm not giving you fucking money. Yeah, yeah, it's all that expensive shit. Because for me, like, my allowance would like last the entire week and then I'd treat myself to the ham and cheese panini. That was, that was like the Friday meal. That was like, see, you did it the smart way. I was like, you know what? I could buy that chicken tender roll,

but I could also buy this Yu-Giob booster pack as well. Okay, okay, okay, I was gonna say, here's what I did, right? I would, I'd get, so I get two pounds a day, right? Which was like, I could buy one meal if I waited, like, a day and had something small. Yeah. And so I was like, but I actually want video games instead. So I would go into the town, which is like a 20 minute walk.

I would go to the, it's called Home Bargains. Yeah. In the UK, it's like a pound land or whatever. Yeah. I would buy a family bag of crisps, like 12-packed for a pound. Yeah. And I would just eat that the whole week. This is awful.

This is pretty wild. That is the most British thing I've ever heard. You were rationing on chips. So you were just on a crisp diet. As a kid. Yeah, I was, I was like, because, right, a video game back then was 30 pounds. Yeah, right?

So if I, if I did this for a whole month, I got a new game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure, my mom was wondering where the fuck I got this game from. Oh, dude. I didn't know that I was getting, I was eating Chris.

It was probably an awful thing to do my body, but I didn't care, I was like 15, I wanted the video game. You see, you had so much more of a stronger willpower than me, because like, I could not save money for that long. I could, I did, I had the object in mind. I was like, I wanted the,

new Halo game, I'm not eating. No, dude, in my head, I was like, every time I went to like an electronic store and I was like, oh, the new, the new Mario Party on Wii is out. How much does it cost? 80 dollars. Oh. I'm like, okay, I could save up four months worth of allowance to get it. But my birthday is also in seven months time. So maybe I could just like hint at it now and then just wait seven months for me to actually get the game, which is what I did. Yeah, because for me, like, when I wanted to buy a video game, like, I grew up and like, like, when I was in school, It was like the N64 SNS era.

Yeah. And like games back then was like 60 pounds a game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For like a cartridge game. Wait, was it really? Yeah, yeah, it was. Like halfed? Huh?

Yeah, like I remember when like, when like games started coming out on discs, I'm just like, why is it so much cheaper now? What the hell? And the graphics are better? This is what kind of hacks they put in. Oh, PIS II was like mess producing those things. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That makes sense. Yeah, so like back back in those days, like there was no fucking work and afford like a cartridge game. Like the only times I was getting new games was like Christmas and birthday. Those were the two times of the year where I got games.

And like I was praying that I could like, I was praying that my parents bought like the right games every time man. Yeah, I was like, mother, I waited an entire year. If I don't get at least three games, I am going to rage. When I turned like 16, they were like, we want you to have a bit of an allowance

so that you can learn how to manage your money. And I was like, oh, thanks. And I was just thinking like, I've got a lot saved already though. I was like, this is just adding to the wealth. This is how I become Jeff Bezos. I think my parents thought the same way, but only after they found out that I got rejected

from my McDonald's job. So they're like, there's no saving you. We'll walk your allowance so you don't end up being a bum. The more I think about it, the more I was like, yeah, I don't know if I was always gonna be that kind of way with money.

I don't know, I wonder, is it like, I guess you have to teach your kid how to learn how to manage money. Yeah. Sometimes see videos, people like, Nobody taught me how to manage money. I just spent it all when I was like 20 and stuff. And I'm like, oh.

You have to do this. Oh, I just think. According to Shaq. By the way, very, very, very British thing. What Chris Shrek and I was eating, by the way? Walkers, no. That's too expensive. Quavers?

No, think cheap. Think cheap. What's a cheap brand. Don't look at me, man. I'm fucking. You are, you are. This is for very British audiences right now. I don't know.

I'm gonna hit you like a wave. Discos. Oh my fucking God. Okay, okay. I completely forgot that they even existed. I haven't had disco since like my... Yeah, like 12. Yeah, I was like, did I reach double digits for the last time I had disco? I can't fucking remember. I know like the cheap shit chips.

They were like weirdly good, but there was probably so much like MSG and shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They were really tasty, but they were weirdly like super cheap. Like, compared to all other chips, but they taste really fucking good. Really good. Chris review. This episode is sponsored by Bookwalker. What's up, my beautiful book-loving, Reatherin, we're trash taste, and we're here to introduce to you, Bookwalker. What's that? Oh, you know, just one of the most popular e-book stores for English manga and light novels out there? On the wrap, you can read official e-books directly from the publishers themselves,

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So, what are you waiting for? Sign up to Book Walker for free today and enjoy some of their generous discount promotions, coinback campaigns and digital bonus items for free today. So check out their service by clicking that link in the description down below. Thank you to Book Walker and back to the episode. I've always had like, because I don't know if it was just my school in Australia,

but like, you know when you watch like American high school movies? And that had like the cafeteria, like cafeteria. Where there was like the lunch lady and there was like, this was like the serving of the day, you know, kind of shit. Like I don't know why. Did you look at that and go like, I wish I had that in my school? I think Americans wish they had that in their school. Yeah, yeah.

I mean like, because I remember like watching American high school movies and I'm like, damn, I wish my high school was this cool. Like every Simpsons episode I watched and like Bart was in the cafeteria. I was like, man, that's, that looks fucking cool. What? Does every American school have that? Lo and behold, I know not every American school has that. I was just shocked that everyone had cars. That's what blew me away.

Yeah, it's like, it's like a 15 year old kid and it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, I'll pick you up tonight. I was like, do you? You mean your parents are gonna pick you up tonight? Or? I don't know what was going on in the 2000s, but like every single thing, it wasn't about like, if you had a car, it was like which car you had.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, what do you? You all have cars? It's like, yeah. It's like, oh, sorry, I'm gonna go pick you up in my mom's car. When did you guys first, like, learn to drive then?

Did you learn how to drive, like, immediately when you could? Or did you like a complicated story? Oh, for me, it was like the moment you hit 16, you can learn out of it. How did this be complicated? So I started learning how, how to drive when I was 17,

which is when you can do in the UK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But what sucks is that because my birthday was in July, which is the end of the school year, people who started in September, had already like way past, got their cars and were driving. Wait, the school year ends in July?

Oh, sorry, ends in September, sorry. September, sorry, it starts in September, ends in like August. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah. I don't know if we're talking about that. Wait, when is yours?

It's January. What? The school year starts in January? Yeah. What? It ends in December. starts in January. Okay, so wait, wait, how does summer holidays work for you then?

Summer holidays is December. But then when do you get Christmas holidays? So you end, so, actually, it technically starts in February. So we end school middle of December, and then you celebrate Christmas and holidays during holidays, and then all of January is summer holidays. And then you come back in February. So how long do you get off then?

During summer holidays? Yeah. Like, depends on the school, but like usually like a month and a half? Oh, okay. We get like nearly three months. Because it's pretty much the first half of August is when it ends, right? Yeah, yeah. And then- well, are we talking university or were we talking like secondary school?

Second-up, both are the same, right, is? Yeah, for us it was all the same. No, no, no, no. In university, I remember in university, you get like fucking three months off. And those were like, those, that was like, before that, like, school holidays for me were always, the summer holiday was six weeks. It was always six weeks. Winter holidays.

winter holidays was two weeks. And then we'd have like half terms where you'd get like, where you'd always, where you'd get like one week off like halfway through the term. Spring and autumn holidays. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So all together, we got like,

we got, like, we must got like about, around two months of holiday that was spread out. And then like university here and I remember thinking, yo, what the fuck? We get three months off for like, we get three months off for summer. Why am I even going to fucking education anymore, man? The first time I experienced,

the first like summer holidays in uni, I was like, well, see you at university never again. Yeah, I remember when summer holidays started in university, I'm just like, well, I'm just not gonna go back to uni. Yeah, yeah, that's three months, right? That's like, you know, when you can't imagine at the end of summer holiday?

Yeah. But yeah, so the point, point was that basically kids who were born in September, I was sorry, oh fuck, am I saying, I'm chatting at my ass, kids who had their birthday, like, in my year, who were like really close to the start of the year. Yeah, basically got to have their license and already had it.

Right, at the beginning, yeah, yeah. And you were right at the end. Yeah, so they were in my year, because it didn't matter for you the year above, because you weren't friends, right? Yeah. Even if I was closer in age technically. So like the people who got it first were like the coolest ones.

Yeah, yeah, of course. Everyone was like, oh, can we give me a lift? Oh, could go here, you know? Oh, I'll drive you there. It's like, fuck. Wait, so is that, is that, wait, so for in the UK, you guys have like different stages

in your driving license. right, like you have like learner. Yeah, like provisional or stuff like that. So when you're on your first level, like when you first up, you have it or you're learning? Okay, so when you're learning, can you just like drive by yourself? No. No.

You have to have someone in the passenger. There needs to be someone who's supervised you. Supervises you and has how many years of experience? X amount of years driving and you can't go on like the highways. Yeah, okay, okay. So like it's only until you're provisional's that you can drive by yourself, right? Yeah. But the problem is that normally not that you can't

find someone, it's that you can't get a car. Yeah. Because you need to be insured. And that was what the hard part was, is because insurance for like a 17 year old is ridiculous. You need to be insured? Yeah, you need to be insured. No, I could just use my mom's car.

No. You might have had family insurance. Oh, maybe, I don't know. But like, if you are, even if you are under family insurance, your price gets like tripled. If you have a 17 year old on your license. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's insane. Like, the reason why it was just like, no one owned a car except for a few people was because the insurance cost was like triple or quadruple, the car. Yeah. Right, right. The car was nothing. Like, my mate got a car for like 100 quid of some guy. The insurance was like a thousand plus. Yeah. So it was like, Jesus. Yeah, it's, yeah, it was, it was more cost for the insurance than the car itself. The lessons were expensive as well.

I did lessons. My brother had already passed and, you know, so it was my turn. I was doing it and it was going well. And then, every now and then, the guy would just kind of call me up, because I was learning through just a guy. Yeah. That was how you mainly learn in the, at least the countryside in the UK. And he was, he kind of flound. He kind of flound. He kind of He was like he wouldn't show up sometimes. And then sometimes he would just stop. And then I'm about, I wanna say two thirds away from getting my test.

And he just calls up and he's like, oh yeah, by the way, I've quit. I'm just not doing anymore. I'm not doing, I've decided that I don't wanna do instructing people because the costs on the car are too much and stuff. Yeah. Oh, okay.

All right, well, so I thought, oh, it can't be too hard to find another one. My mom just could not find another because they're all booked up, because there's not many in my area. This is during your learning stage, right? Yeah, yeah. Normally, like, they get booked up pretty quickly

because there's not that many, because it's not very profitable. It really, like, doesn't make much money. And it's a lot of work, and it's a lot of upkeep on the car as well. Yeah. So he did that, and then I couldn't find one for like, I want to say, right up until, like, three months before I was leaving for university.

Right. So I had to get back into it. It'd been like a six, seven months, because I couldn't find anyone. Yeah. and I was kind of getting okay at it and I was maybe like, I don't know, I wanna say like 10 lessons off doing the test.

Right. I'd get a university. Right. And then I just didn't do it. Yeah, of course. Because like busy having fun. Yeah, because like, and you don't need a car in university. No, definitely. Yeah. I didn't. And, you know, I didn't have my license

and then it became something that I was kind of like, okay, don't really wanna do this anymore because it's kind of in the way. Yeah. It's really pain in the ass and I have to start from zero again. And if I did do it, I thought, I'll do one of those, like, because you can do like week intensive course.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you just drive for like eight hours a day. Yeah. And then you do your test and hopefully you pass. Statistically, they're like the worst drivers. Yeah. But, you know. Because you basically speed running driving.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, you know, I'd gone through all a uni, never did it. And this point, like in the UK, you have to have two things, a theory test and a practical test. Yeah. Theory is really easy, but it only lasts two years

after you've done it. So mine had expired. Right. So I had to go and do it again. Right. Yeah. So I was in London and I was like, oh, fuck, okay, I'll go and get it.

I'm gonna actually learn a drive. Yeah. And then I booked one of these courses that was like really expensive for like five days. Yeah. And their like promise was, you will guarantee,

get your license by day five. And anyone who says guaranteed. Guaranteed to get a license. That's red flags, that's suss as fuck, man. That's red flags. So I started driving. Yeah.

And I had this guy and he was Welsh. I was like, oh great, he's Welsh. He'll be really nice. I can bribe him. Well, he wasn't my, he wasn't testing me. but I used in his car. And you're also allowed to use that person's car

for the test and stuff. Right. You know, he's really good. He was nice, start, you know, he was like, oh, you're Welsh, good, good, I like Welsh people. We were both in London, so it was kind of like, oh, nice, nice. He was really weird.

He would also take any opportunity to insult women drivers. He was really weird. I'm about to commit massaging, yeah. He literally, he literally, every car just passed, tits out, four of us.

And he would be like, fucking woman driver, in it? Fucking woman driver, in it? Fuck a woman driver. And I'm like, I was like, It's a guy and he was like, oh, you know, you know. I was like, I don't find,

really uncomfortable at times. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And also, you would sometimes, you know, because you were in the car for like six hours, seven hours. Yeah, right. You know, you talk about life and stuff. He would bring up some things and he'd bring up some of his views on the world.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, terrible. Yeah, really terrible, yeah, really, yeah, yeah. Can't stand it. We park him, by the way. We, where are we going? My dad, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, My dad as well kind of has like that weird,

like he creates these like stereotypes out of nowhere when it comes to like driving. It's so weird. Now that I think about it, I'm like every time I remember there was moments where like my dad would be driving. My dad will say he doesn't have road rage. He absolutely fucking has road rage. Like I don't care what he says because every time,

I remember like every time he'd be on the road and there'd just be like someone who's like taking him off for whatever reason. He'd be like, oh, fucking, fucking move. And then he'd, you know, get into the lane, look and dead and like do the Luigi death stare at him. And they'd be like, Oh, it's fucking Volvo drivers. And I'm like, I don't think every Volvo's,

yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think every Volvo driver is necessarily a bad driver. Like, you're like BMW drivers or like a massive dickheads. I'm like, what is your personal vendetta against Volvo? Yeah, because like, I remember like, one of the biggest stereotypes was like, Asians are like bad drivers, right?

Yeah, yeah. And like, I don't think necessarily Asians are bad drivers. I think Asians just drive by the rules of their own country, which is just like a fucking free for all. Yeah, yeah. Because like, I remember, because like, I remember when, uh, when I first learned how to drive I didn't actually first learn how to drive

in the UK, right? So I believe like- God, God turns up in the UK like crazy taxi. So what happened is? So I was like turning 17 that year, so I could learn how to drive in the UK, but I believe in Thailand, like, you can like start learning from like 16.

I'm not sure if that's, I'm not sure of the exact age. But I remember I could legally get lessons to learn how to drive. So I was just like, great, why don't I get a head start on learning how to drive before I start driving in the way the UK. So I start learning to drive in Thailand, in Bangkok, right? God.

And it's like the dark source of driving. It's like the dark souls of driving. So like I take a few lessons there and I get, you know, I get pretty confident in driving in Bangkok with Thailand rules, right? So, so, you know, I can competently handle a car and definitely competently handle traffic, you know, what I mean. And so I remember I go back to the UK and I turn 17 and I sign up for my first lesson. And then I, so the instructor turns up.

And, you know, we just have a casual chat before we start driving. And then he asked me, oh, do you have you had, like, any experiences or did you like use your provision license or whatever? And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I've actually, I've actually, like, learn how to drive in Thailand.

Like, I said this like with confidence. Like, I know how to drive a car. He's pretty breaking it. Yeah, I know how to drive a car. I've started to learn how to drive in Thailand. You know, I've pretty confident on Bangkok roads. So, you know, I'm like, Did you repeat that?

And so, you know, so I'm pretty confident about it. So he's like, oh, okay, okay, so let's get this first lesson started then. And so immediately, I just drive off and he goes, stop, you've immediately failed. Because I didn't check my mirrors. I know they do this to be like, they just want you to do it, I understand.

But the guy, her head, right, when I was doing this, it's like, he couldn't just say you did something wrong. It had to be this whole ordeal where he was like, that was a really good turn for a bitch. You know what I mean? It was like nothing could be, every single thing had to be packaged with an insult. It was like, yeah, it was really good on the roundabout

if you wanted to kill someone. If you're a woman. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you didn't check your mirrors? Like a woman. He would do this all the time. It was so infuriating. Because I was just trying to get good

and every single time I'd be like, how was this? He was like, that was great, if you wanna kill someone, come. Right. And I was like, just tell me how it was. At least for you, it was just like not checking your mirrors. Like my, my uncle failed his first driving test because he was like, all right, get in the car,

check all the mirrors, all right, let's drive off. And it's like, stop, you've immediately failed, you drove out the exit. Oh no, no. It's like, oh, all right, so he literally got in the car, didn't even make it out of the driveway, and he was like, you've instantly failed, come back tomorrow. Yeah, because it sucks, I mean you do it, don't they?

Because like, I remember when I learned how to drive in England, I basically had to relearn drive from what I was taught in Thailand. Because in Thailand, they teach you like awareness and control, but like vehicle control. But like in the UK, it's all about, here's the procedure, check mirror A, check mirror B, check your blind spots. Yeah, yeah, check your blind spots.

I get it, but like in Thailand, it's just like, you must learn to become super sane, ultra instinct. This is how you drive. It's the best way to take a hit from a car. If someone who's on the head, this is how you curl up correctly. This is how you take the least casually. He's gonna inflict maximum damage on an asshole.

So I did this five day thing, right? Well, we were going through it and I had this guy and it was kind of a slog and I remember I really didn't like doing it because the guy was like not, he was not fun. And also driving in London sucks. Yeah. It's like, it's a going slow simulator and stopping, waiting, giving away to people like just,

it's not like driving outside of the London like at all. It's completely different. So I'm doing this and, uh, it's not like driving in Wales, definitely. No, we get to the fifth day. I'm like, so ready to like book the test? He's like, no. I was like, what do you mean? He's like, you're not ready yet.

Not ready. I'm not, what do you mean? That's like five days guarantee. It's like, you're gonna fail right now if you do it. And I'm like, oh, I'm like, well, what do we do then? He's like, well, shit's back. Like he loves it. I'm like, I'm like, he's like, yeah, well, you know, you could,

you know, you could pay me in cash and I'll give you some private lessons, you know. And I was like, oh. I was like, oh, I was like, is that? Is that okay? He's like, yeah, it's okay. According to me. And it was like conveniently like really expensive. Oh wow.

But I was like, well shit, I need him to say yes so that I can, yeah, yeah, they won't do it without him. So you literally bribed him. No, no, no, he kind of blackmailed him. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't do the lesson without him agreeing. Right, right, right.

So I was like, oh, and I was like, well, when do we do it? Because I kind of wanted to get this over and done with. They gotta go to America in like a week. I wanted to like get this done. And he was like, oh, well, are you free tomorrow? And I was like, yeah, I'm free tomorrow. And he was like, all right, well, meet me in this car park tomorrow

and we'll do like three hours and then we'll see how you do. Yeah. So I pay him an extortionate amount of money. And, you know, and then we do the three hours. Like, all right, now you're ready. And I'm like, yeah, about it. Of course. Of course you're ready now.

I was like, you probably just let me drove around for the hour. So it isn't illegally a bribe or something. So he finally does it. And the way that this works, normally in the UK, if you want to test, I don't know how it's in Australia, but you have to wait like a month. month. Yeah.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. But because, I don't know how they do it, but this company has like an inn with the government where basically like, if anyone cancels, they get all those reservations. Oh, okay. So you basically have to just be ready. Right. And they'll be like, are you free tomorrow

to do the test? Yeah, yeah, yeah, right. So that's what happened. So I said I'm ready to get the test. And then like one day later, they were like, come to this place at this time, the teacher will be there. And I was like, oh shit, this is fucking nerve-wracking. Now we have to go to like, for all of our tests,

you have to go to like, a government certified like road and maritime services. Oh no, we did, we did. You have to do it as well, it gives a DVLA thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So I go to this building, and it's like, the official government building

is above a, like, a salon. Like, it's in this really weird, like, beat up room. It's just one room. What? And like, there's like seven other people in here, and I just turn up and I'm like, what the fuck? It's so weird. Right.

It looks like some government building. It doesn't look, It's just above like a salon and a chicken shop. So I go in and they're like, did you park the car? So there's no car park in this place either. Right. You park on the street. Right.

So I'm parked on a hill upwards. Yeah, right, right, right. And so I'm on like a right before, like a- But you're at manual, right? Yeah, manual, yeah. Oh, okay. So I'm parked on a hill right before a roundabout, and it's a really busy dual carriageway.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's like nightmare fuel. This is literally like the worst possible. Yeah, yeah. So I'm bricking it. And he's, and this guy can tell I'm freaking out because it's a horrible start. Yeah.

If you let it roll back at all, like you fall down the hill. You fail. You fail immediately. Yeah. Yeah. And normally like most driving like things, you might not even have to do this thing

when you start from a hill. Yeah. So I was like, shit, I've, because my instructor at the side of the park here, this is where I had to stop. Yeah. So I was like, fuck. So, so, you know, I'm doing it.

And I, I'm, I'm nearly fucking, I let go of the break and I'm just not moving. I'm just not moving. I'm lucky maintaining it. And I slowly start to creep and then just fucking, Laurie just got, Dahn! And I like goes,

past me, I'm like freaking out. I'm like holding onto the clutch, like not letting it go because I don't wanna go and I don't wanna fall down. I'm just like sweating and he's like, mate, what you're doing? Just don't worry about it. And I'm like, proper London.

And I was like, yeah, thanks man, I'm real calm now. Luckily I get going, it's really easy. You know, and everything's going well and this guy looks like he's falling asleep. He's literally like this. On the window. Yeah. I'm like, what the fuck?

And I did a thing where I thought I failed And I was like, oh, fuck, I was freaking out. Because I thought I failed halfway through, and I go through the end. And yeah, I passed. I did like one minor mistake. That was all I had. Don't know how.

Because on the way to the test, I ran a red light. I did all things wrong and everything went terribly. And then, yeah, weirdly at the end of it, my instructor came at the guy who was like, really weird. He came over and he was like, I thought he failed. And I was like, why would you say that? Why would you?

He's like, you know how I thought you failed? And I was like, how? And he's like, you know, when the guy opens the door before he gives the news, there's normally bad sign. I'm like, why, why would that be a bad sign? Why does that make any sense? I don't understand.

So he could run away? Why is it like, like, like, like, psychoanalyze it. It's not like you're a dick head as a fucking instructor. He was a dick, bro. I had to hear a really nice instructor. He was like, he was like, a proud dad. He was like, I knew you, proud of.

But the thing is, the thing is, my dad was my instructor. Your dad was your instructor? Yeah, because in Australia, you don't, when you're on your learners, you don't have to go to lessons. No, you don't have to you in the UK, I don't. It's just like, my parents are like, no, that's fucking expensive. You're not going to lessons. My dad's like, son, I'll teach you.

And I was like, Dad, you are literally the most crazy fucking driver I've known. Yeah, because most people when they drive, they don't drive like how they 100% should. Yeah, of course. My parents want to teach me because they were like, we're probably not doing something's right ourselves.

I was like, dad, we're in an 80 zone and I'm doing 100. Is this okay? And he's like, no, it's like, no, everyone else is doing it. They can't arrest all of us, come on. That's true. That's true, that's fair enough. Can I do it?

Can I do this in the test? Yeah, yeah, like, can I do it in the test? But you'll be right now. Driving is way more fun when you've passed your test because you're like, okay, I can kind of like relax. It's like, oh, this is like what is like driving stressless now. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I actually remember the first time I was like in the seat of a car actually.

So, um, in the driver's seat of a car was actually, when I was about like, I think like 12 or 13. So like, I remember like, there was one day where I think there was like, like a friend of a cousin who was just like, you know, he was very rich. So they like, their family owned like a lot of land. Right. Right.

A lot of land. And so, on some of this land that they owned, right, they let this kid, they let their kid, drive around like a drive around a car. It was like a beaten up car, right? It was a beaten up car. Hell yeah. Right. And I remember going to this place once

and I was like, and he was like driving around his field. I was like, dude, this is badass. And he was like, wanna go? Wanna go? Wanna go? And I was like, me? Me? 12 years old driving.

Am I allowed to do that? Am I allowed to do that? Am I allowed to do that? He was like, yeah, it's private land, it's legal. And I was like, 12 year old knew the concept of private land, legal, whatever. Yeah, of course, look at article 1340. Well, that's what his dad told him, of course.

And so like, I'm like, I go in a driver's seat and I start like fucking shitting myself. Oh yeah, because I'm just like, I'm in a fucking car. All choice like 12 year old driving. Yeah. As a 12 year old in the seat of a car, it doesn't matter if you're like driving a Jeep or a mini. It's like fucking operating a Gundam.

Oh no, it is terrifying. It is terrifying. Yeah. So I remember the first fucking thing I did, and he was just like, oh, just tap the pedal a bit, right? And as a 12 year old, I don't know what tap means, right? And so I'm just like, I go what I think is like, I thought tapping it was going 50% of the way down,

Yeah, you do, you do, you do. So I'm like, okay, I'm going to tap this. I'm not going to put it all the way, just half the way. Like, immediately. We'll start spinning. I put it half the way and I immediately crash into his gates, right? Oh, no. Luckily it's like an old wooden gate and it's like in the middle of fucked up, like, butt fuck nowhere, right?

But I immediately, I smash into this gate, right? And I start freaking out. And he was like, all right, get out of the driver's seat. Never again. I think that put me off driving for like, well obviously I was scared of the concept of driving just from that one experience.

I think I remember now, yeah, like the first time I ever got in a car seat was probably around that age as well, like 12, 13, when we went camping. And like, you know, because you're in a camping field, right? Not a lot of like, and especially when you're in a big camping field and there's no one else there. It's just a lot of like really empty flat land.

So my dad was like, son, you want to take you for a spin? And I was like, sure, dad. And I get in the seat. And in my head, I'm like, yeah, this is gonna be easy. There's literally nothing around except one tree. No. Oh, no.

But like, any person will tell you, it's like, just don't go towards the tree. Just go to this entire open area where there is nothing. And in my head, I was like, okay, just don't go over to the tree. What do I do? Immediately go towards the tree. Did your dad not like pull the wheel? Oh yeah, he did.

Oh, okay. It was like, son! What he did? Did you hit it? No, I did. Oh my god, dude, I wouldn't be alive if I hit the tree. I think my dad would kill me. Yeah, my dad would 100% kill.

But like, I don't know what it was. It was like, in my 12 year old, stupid 12 year old head, the entire time I was like, don't go towards the tree, don't go towards the tree. My hands were like, go towards tree, okay. It's like a homing missile. I was like, target locked on. I actually flipped my friends,

quad bike over. Oh my, that's dangerous. Yeah, that was dangerous. We were riding quad bikes in like the mud and I was like, this is the coolest fucking thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I was like 12. Yeah. And he was like, don't go too fast though. And I'm, I was like a danger kid. I would just like love going too fast and shit like that. And yeah. I think they also call that an idiot.

Yeah. Listen, I should have been, I should have won a Darwin award. Yeah. And so I'm like fucking this fucking quad bike start doing like donuts with this quad bike. Right. And then yeah, it just flips over. and I flip in it, but I'm so small that I like, I like get down in the archer like when I fall to the side like don't hit my head or any ball I just fall over.

Because like, yeah, I think like quad bike accidents like deaths like very common. Yeah, it wasn't like super fast. It was just me being stupid and turning but the fault I just fell off. Jesus Christ. Yeah, dumb, dumb, dangerous, dangerous. Yeah, don't do that.

Don't do that. Don't flip quad bikes. Yeah. Because like I remember, I remember like, I never like I had, I knew one person in my school who owned like a quad bike and he was like the fucking cool kid, right?

If you have farms, everyone, like, a lot of people had them. Yeah, I mean, like, the only reason this guy, this guy had a quad bike, or this kid had a quad bike was because his dad had won the lottery, right? So he was like, he was- Why is it when you get too rich, you buy a quad bike? I don't know.

There's no practical use for a quad bike, right? Right. It's just to have, isn't it? If you have too much land, you get a quad bike so he can get around the land. Yeah, so he was just like, he was the cool kid because he was the kid that owned a quad bike. And like, it was like the kid that,

you'd want to be friends because you knew that you'd made it when he'd invite you around his house. Yeah. Cause like you'd hear, you'd hear stories about how people went to this kid's house and were like, I went on a quad bike. Yeah, it's either that one kid that owns a quad bike or that one kid whose dad works in an IT company

and owns every game console ever. Oh yeah. Everyone had that one friend. My friend was both. Oh, really? Oh my God. His dad was a farmer. He was the farmer, so he had all the quad bike

and all that stuff, but he also had all the game consoles. And I always used to love. He had Pokemon Coliseum on the GameCube. Oh, best game. And I was like, this is insane. You can, the Pokemon are like three. What?

What? So we'd have a day of like quad biking and then his mom would make amazing food and then I get to play on the... Yeah, and so I just like never wanted to leave his house. And luckily like I slept over at his house so many goddamn times and I love staying at his house. Yeah, I had that one friend too.

That was like that. It was amazing, but it was so much fun. I loved going to his house. That was like the best child of memories. Yeah. Except where I nearly died on the quad bag, of course. That was my own fault. That was my own fault. That's fair enough.

But quad bikes are fun though. Yeah. I don't have been on one. There was really, oh, they're so fun. Have you been on one? No. They're pretty easy to drive. Have I been on one?

I don't think I have been on one, actually. It's like a stable bike. Until it flips over. Until you do a dumb turn. So like we used to got to, like the, you know what I was saying about like the kayaking thing? Yeah. There was another place that was kind of a similar thing.

They had like swimming pool and all that. And it also had quad bikes that you were allowed to ride. But they put like safety pins or something. something in it that limited the speed. So you couldn't go above a certain speed and it was painfully slow. Yeah. And one of the kids who owned the quad bike

knew how to remove it. Right. And then so we were all doing laps, right? Going really slow on these bikes. And suddenly is this one kid's turn. And the teachers looked away for a second and he'd go back. This kid's going like fucking tearing up all the like dirt,

flinging it and all the teachers and stuff, like absolutely tearing up the track. And they couldn't stop him. Because he's going too fast. You couldn't, like, get in the way. Yeah. And so he's going super fast. He gets the balking of his life.

But he's so funny, just watching him, like, destroy this, like, land that had been finally made. He was just, like, tearing up the mud and shit. He'll destroy it all. So funny. Do you guys have any experiences with motorbikes or anything like that? No, I wish. I'd love to drive a motorbike, really? I've been on the back of a motorbike many times, but it's scary.

It's fucking terrifying. I want to learn how to ride one. I've thought about it, but then I've also heard of every single person. I've ever known who used to ride a motorbike is, it's all past tense, they used to ride a motorbike because most of the time they get in horrible accidents. I just wanna ride one, I just wanna know how to drive one. What if I'm like, I just need to ride a motorcycle one?

I was tempted, I was tempted to get like a, in Japan, like, a motorpad license. Because apparently you can get it in like one day. It's like, you just have to do like a test and you pay like 60s bucks or something. Yeah, 60s. 60s. 60s sucks.

60 bucks. I see. Yeah. for a test and then you can just get it in like a couple of hours. Yeah, because- if you like James Bond Chase, you need to drive a motorcycle? You know? Oh, I'm gonna drive a moped fucking...

They just catch up to your pool. You're gonna catch me, boo! Just stop you immediately. Like, Jay, where you go, man? Yeah. Because like, live it, like, if you go to Thailand, you're probably going to have to ride a motorcycle. And when I say motorcycle, it's not like a fucking Harley Davidson or something.

It's the Southeast Asian, like, kind of like moped motorcycles where it's like... Like a scooter, right? Like a scooter, yeah. I thought motorcross is really cool as well, right? Yeah. Like, like that kind of, like that kind of bike, I guess. Yeah, but like I've been on enough fucking crazy ass fucking mob-like, like moped motorbike taxi drivers that it's just put me off from ever wanting to learn a motorbike.

And like the one time that I tried learning how to ride a motorbike, which was one of these bikes, mind you. And I remember, of course it was in Thailand. And like, I remember like if you want to get around but not want to own a car, then you'd learn how to drive a motorcycle. That's the cheap way to go about it. I mean, that's why in Topky and the Vietnam special, they didn't have cars, they had motorbikes, right? Do they get stolen a lot? Do they get stolen a lot?

I assume, I've never owned one, so I would assume so. Probably. But I remember, like, the only time I've tried to learn how to ride one was, I was, I've had like enough, like, scary experience with motorbikes that I've just never wanted to learn out to ride one.

And I remember, like, I remember my dad was just like, come on, son, you've got to learn how to drive one. Come on, we're in time. You've got to learn how to drive one, eventually. And I remember he like builds this idea, like, my entire family, like, build this idea up of me having to, like, at least give it a try of how to learn how to ride a motorbike. And I remember this one time, I was like, okay, fine, I'll give it, I'll give it a try. I'll give it a try. It's just like, it's just like riding a bike, right? It's just like riding a bike,

right? Yeah, no. Just like riding a bike. And it's, it was like a one-for-one recreation of, like, my car experience, right? Because I remember, I remember my dad, after building up all this We have like my, we have like my cousin's motorbike that I could try out and just start learning with. And my dad like brings me over to the bike and goes, okay, just sit on this bike, okay? And what you need to do, just try, just try, like. Just like, give you that much confidence.

He's like, suck you on it. Yeah, he stuck you on it and he just, he just, just twisted a bit and he just, just twist it a bit. Just give it a bit of a rev. And me, like, like a one for one thinking a little bit of a twist is 50% of the way. Don't, hell, you can't, you can't, like, do this. You can only do like 50%.

And so, 50% means whole, sorry. 50% means 180 degrees. Yeah. And so I go like, okay, I'll give a little twist. 50% power. Like that, immediately rev forward, I immediately fall down and like, the motorbike falls down on me. I'm like, all right, I'm never getting on one again.

Like, I'm just reminded of all those videos of like, where they, thank you, where they like rev the motorbike and the motorbike just comes over them, yeah. I don't know. I really wanna learn like, I don't know, like a lot of quote unquote, like dangerous vehicles. I'd love to learn how to drive.

I really wanna learn how to drive a speedboat. I don't know why. A speedboat? I've never even been in a like a speedboat. I've been in a speedboat and it's terrible. I just wanna learn how to drive one. They look so far. Because in Australia, or at least in Sydney,

we used to have like, we had like a ferry service because we were like in a bay, but you'd also get what's called a water cat, which is basically think of like, it's a taxi. I think I know. Like a water taxi, but it's instead of a taxi, it's speedboat. I think I know the ones.

And you get on, dude, those things are fucking scary. They look so fast. Like, I wanna ride a jet ski. I've never ridden a jet ski in my life. I wanna ride a jet ski. I've heard jet ski's a fun. That's like the college fratboy asshole. Yeah.

I just wanna ride one. It looks so fun. Yeah. Let's do it in Thailand. Yeah. It's very, very easy to get jet skis in Thailand, yeah. I remember I saw a sheet that was like, it was like accidents by race or something. Right.

It was like 100% of accidents in like some part of the US. was like all white people or something. And it was for jet ski. Jet skiing. 100% of jet ski accidents for white people. And I was like, yeah, that makes sense. That checks out. Yeah, that checks out.

I think the second was like skiing or something. Oh yeah, I was like, okay, that was it. Was third golf? I've always wanted to try surfing. Surfing was one thing I've always wanted to try. I've done surfing and I... Seems hard. Of course, of course, you're Australian, Joey.

Right. You have to. You have to. I thought I would enjoy it, but I would enjoy it, but I would. It's weirdly didn't. It seems really hard. It's really, really hard. It's not even so much about, like, you know,

it's not like snowboarding where, like, the biggest obstacle is you're being scared to just, like, go fast or whatever. Like, it's literally just, like, it's the act of standing up from a really, like, rickety, like, where the floor isn't still, right? And, like, that, and you do that a couple of times and you can't even, like, get on your knees and then you fucking fall over. And then you're hot, you just snap. You're like, fuck it. I can't do it. Because like the one time you can actually like stand up. Yeah.

It's actually pretty easy to control. Right. Because it's just think of the like snowboarding, but with less friction. Right. So it's pretty easy to do. It's the standing up part that's like fucking impossible for me. I don't know what it is.

And then when you flip in a, in a surfboard, it hurts. Yeah, I can imagine. Because the one thing that I'm always afraid of is like, what if I flip off and the board and then the board just fucking smacks on? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I've seen that happen to people and it looks like a really fucking Sitting them ride that wave is just so fucking cool. I really want to do it again, I've never had the opportunity.

I've never had the opportunity. Like, living in England, where are we gonna find fucking waves? I could go to Cornwall, I know, but that's- The waves that are way too powerful than to show you or like nothing. I think that was the problem as well because like, because we did it for PE at one time because our school's right-

It's the most Australian thing I've ever heard. Oh, because our school's like, surfing for PE. Because our school is literally next to a beach. So we just like walk down five minutes down the hill and it's like, yeah, there's a beach right there. You can go surf. Of course there is.

Yeah, but it was scary, dude, for a different reason. That's so cool, man, I wish I could. I wish I could. Lots of first we want to try. You want to try golf, you want to try sailing. Surfing and sailing. I want to try quad biking. Yeah, dude.

I want to try them all, actually. Yeah, I want to try them all. Yeah. Can we just have like a sports festival day for trash taste? Yeah. I just want to try all these things in one place. Yeah, I just want to try more like extreme sports. You know what I mean?

You tried skiing. Now you've got a taste for the extreme, right? Yeah, I got a taste of adrenaline, you know. Bundy jumping, yeah. I'm still waiting for Chris. But you know who else likes extreme sports? Our patrons. Of course.

Oh, really? They're they're so daring. They dared enough to support the boys. That is the most extreme sports. It's a supporting. A podcast. Supporting the board out. Getting your wallet out.

Getting the wallet out. That's the most extreme sport of them all. We do appreciate. Would you appreciate it? Yes, but thank you. And if you would like to support the show, then go to our Patreon. Patreon.com slash tash taste.

Also follow us on Twitter, send us some memes on the subreddit. and if you head out face, listen to us on Spotify. And what kind of extreme sport would you like to try? I feel like this pandemic, like, era has just like made people wanna just like try sport, at least for me anyway. Yeah, because the, I think one of the biggest things

about trying new sport is just getting like, getting the motivation, just go out of your comfort zone and just try out a new sport. It definitely helps when you have, like, your mates around and be like, yeah, I'll try with you. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Like I don't know if I could do snowboarding by myself because I just feel like, yeah, it's hard.

It's a sad image of just like one person just sitting in the fucking thing going up, right? It's like, oh. All around me. Anyway, that's been this episode of trash taste. Good one, good one. And we'll see you guys next week, I guess. Bye.