Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Anjelah Johnson & Ali Macofsky's SHAMEFUL SUMMER

Episode Date: July 21, 2026

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Why are you guys so triggered right now? All I did was say it's the midpoint of summer and you guys are attacking. Because I always have like these big plans. I'm like, summer's going to be awesome. I'm going to like go to the beach and I'm going to like be a whore. Sounds like you're shaming yourself into summer. I need to radically accept that I can be a hush right now. Yeah.

You can start today. I was telling Allie, like, I live a life that's so maybe considered boring to where if someone was like, hey, let me take your phone and read all your messages, I'd be like, yeah. And she's like, oh, aside from maybe some old nudes from like back in the day, I'd be like, I'd welcome those. Like, remind me what my old. Like. When we thought we were ugly. Yeah, yeah, when I thought I was disgusting, release the files. Please, like, no.

Throw those on the internet. Hard no. It's a hard no for you? No, no. No, I do not want to see the old nudes. I live in the present and I do not want to be reminded that things used to be better. But they're only getting worse. It's just different.

Do you even take photos like that? Oh, she's like you're so old and ugly. No, I just, I feel like I can't imagine you like taking off an oversized t-shirt with like food stains on it to be like, now time. to get sexy. You're not wrong. It's like if I get a massage, then I'm like in the mood to take a photo after. Then I'll like look in the mirror and I'll pose. So I don't want to see the past.

I don't want to know what it was. It's frightening. Because when I look at this face now, I'm like, oh my God, she's like 17. But when I see what I looked like five years ago, it's like, oh, I'm, it's bad. It's scary. It's so interesting how we think that of ourselves always. Yeah. And I've heard it said from generations before me about our pictures and our videos and about being kind to ourselves.

Because it's always going to be when you look back, I wasn't as fat as I thought I was. I wish I just loved myself in that season, seeing the truth of who I am because we don't. Never in real time. Never. It's when we look back and be like, oh, my gosh, I was beautiful. I have pictures in my phone of progress pictures when I was on certain, like, regimens, diets, workout things and whatever. And where I thought, like, oh, my gosh, like, I can hold on to, like, some love handles and we, and I had to, like, bend over to, like, see it a certain way. And I have the pictures of it.

And I'm like, that's when I thought, like, I need to tighten this up. I mean, now I still do it now. Like, I'm in pain right now. I want to unbutton this. You know what I mean? It's hurting me right now. But when I had those pictures, it didn't hurt. Yeah.

It was just something I saw that I was like, I got to tighten that up. It's so real. My friend, our friend Jenna, just texted me. And the other day, a picture of us from maybe like five or seven years ago, whatever, which she famously always does. She goes, oh, you told me I couldn't post this because you didn't look good. And I'm like, this is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life. I am so pretty. This is crazy.

Are you able to see yourself in real time and appreciate yourself in your life? real time now? Sometimes. Yeah. Oh yeah, when I'm like a couple days past my period. I'm like, who is this glowing angel in front of me? My problem is that like I will stare at a photo of myself for too long where I start to be like, am I an alien? Am I even real? Because I'll be like so enamored by myself in the beginning. And then I just stare for so long that I look at it from every angle and lens. But I appreciate your posts so much. Oh. Because. You really know how to like give yourself praise.

Yes. Doesn't she? Yeah, she's great at that. And it's always like different kinds of photos. It's not even pictures that I think you think you're necessarily hot, but maybe it's like a feeling and a sureness. And you keep it funny and fun. Yeah, and you keep it funny.

But it's not even self-deprecating. It's like, hey, look at me. I know. You're so cool. Wow. What is it because I'm not familiar with the post? What are you feeling when you post that? Okay.

Sometimes I'll just do my makeup in a way or like my hair is just, doing all the right things and I have a fun little outfit and so I'll take a photo just for my personal records okay but then I'm like who am I to save this just for myself this needs to be out but I can't just like for me I can't just post this you know what I think is like a hot photo and be like here you go guys I have to acknowledge like wow I am looking hot today here you go like I need to acknowledge like something's in the air and this is for you now. Yeah, I love that. Like, I can't just, like, post a hot photo no caption to stories.

It needs to be, like, something's happening. I really appreciate that because wasn't there a trend back then where we would post a really hot photo of ourselves? And the caption would always be something completely unrelated because we thought that that was a funny thing to be like, here's a hot photo. It would be like a B-O-B lyric. Yes. Can we pretend that airplane?

It's like, why are you in a bikini with those lyrics? So I really like that Ali's approach to like, I know, I love this picture of myself. Here it is. Please consume this glory. Yeah, the other version of that is like the beautiful photo. I'm like, I'm so tired today. Exactly, exactly. My hair is so dirty.

Or even though I'll delete later. I'm keeping this up. We'll never delete. Next caption. Yeah, never deleting. Okay, so we have two favorites back in the house. Welcome back her new special, ugly baby. Welcome, Angela Johnson.

Comedy, legend, and icon. And we have our favorite, gorgeous, confident, alien queen, Ali Makovsky. Yay, clean, gorgine. I don't know about baby. I don't know. I can't recall any baby photos of myself. But I definitely went through an ugly, like, ugly toddler face. I just like I look back at childhood photos and I go,

she's busted. Really? I think I peaked at six years old. Stop. Six is when you really feel like... When I look back at like kindergarten alley, I'm like, she is so cute. Wait, I feel similarly about this. I think six is, especially for a girl, I looked really precious.

And then like nine or ten, like the must, a weird mustache set in. I only got a late in life mustache. Really? Yeah, I feel like my mustache kind of developed. within the past five years. Yeah. I want to ask the moms when you hear Allie say that she was an ugly toddler, aren't you like, I promise you you weren't?

Yes, exactly. There's no such. For me, no, I've seen some real ugly. Yeah. No, I've definitely. I'm like, yeah, send me the picture, girl. I'll let you know if you were a dog. Yeah, for sure.

I think I was an ugly baby. I have friends who have had ugly babies. And some of my friends will be real honest with you. Well, I think, too, if you. If a baby's too cute, like, babies aren't supposed to be cute. If you have a cute baby, it's like, that's bad for the future. Really? Yeah, I think you have to be kind of busted as a baby.

Ugly duckling. Yeah, to grow into a cute, yeah. I see. And I'm really worried about my babies. Yeah. They're so cute. Well, but even as, even as an aunt, I thought that my sister's babies were so cute when they were born. And now looking back, I was like, how did I have, like, rose-colored goggles for?

babies that aren't even my own. Yeah. It's so real though, because it's like when you're, it's your in your world, I feel like any baby, especially like pictures don't do babies justice. Like, when you're in the presence of a baby. Their energy. It's just beautiful.

Yeah. Who am I? This is like unrecognizable. I agree. I'm going to watch my sister give birth for a third time. Wait, what? I've watched all of my sister's births. Wow. You catch baby? Is your cat's her? No, but I think with this third one. I think that...

They'll let you get involved. Yeah, I'm going to be hands-on. Okay. And I'm also going to replace her husband in the hospital because he gets really like, you know, he wants to go home. He's like, he gets really antsy. And so I think because it's the third, I get to be the husband.

So I'm going to sleep in the hospital. Are you helping her pack her to-go bag? No, she's doing the to-go. Like, she likes doing all that stuff. You already sound like a husband. She likes doing that or so. She does that. She doesn't need me for that. Allie, how is single life? Allie's newly single. Yeah, I'm really single. After how long of a relationship? Five years. Wow. Okay. Yeah. Living together. Wow. How long did you know it was done before it was

done? That's a great question for all breakups. Yeah. I think I think there were moments throughout where I was like, uh, like I had like a little feeling, but it wasn't strong enough to be like, I'm going to act on this in terms of breaking up. And I think because my ex, like, I still really love him and he's a great guy, I think there were, like, a lot of times where, like, if I had that feeling, I was like, okay, but there's so many other great things that I don't want this one small thing to, like, be the reason why. And so I think it was, like, solidified, like, maybe a month before.

Oh, just a month before. Yeah. But there were definitely, like, moments throughout that I was kind of questioning. but it wasn't strong enough to be like, bye. I feel like I could just be making this up, but I feel like long-term relationships that break up, like they've known for a while, but they were holding on for longevity's sake

or for like what you just said. It's just that little thing, but then all the little things add up and you're like, oh wait, this is a lot of little things. Are we even compatible? But it takes a while. So that's interesting to you that was just like a month. I think the issue is that we were really compatible in a lot of ways,

but I think like romantically it just wasn't what I wanted, you know? Okay. What's that face? I don't know. I get triggered on this conversation because I just think about my sister. I'm only projecting my sister's situation onto what you said, but you just being like romantically it wasn't what you wanted, but you were compatible.

I'm like, well, what does that mean? Like we were such good friends and it was so comfortable. But I think in terms of like, passion and like, like, yeah, like romantically. Question. Yeah. Did you feel it in the beginning or did you never have that component? The three moms are really grilling you.

Yeah. I'm so interested. For me, in all of my relationships in the past, they were always really short-lived because I'd just jump right into them. I wouldn't figure out if they were right for me. I would just like be in a relationship and then like find out as it was happening quickly. that I was like, oh, what am I doing? So it would be like very short, quick relationships.

I think with my last boyfriend, it was like, we were together. And then I noticed like certain patterns of mine where I'm like, oh, now that he likes me or now that it's serious, I want to get out. And so instead of doing that, I was like, well, why don't like, let me try and do things differently. So it was like, we were doing couples therapy, which I don't think is normal, like a year into a dating relationship. but I was like I want to learn about myself I don't want to like repeat behaviors but I think after like doing a bunch of things that I was working on myself and still kind of having that feeling of like I don't think I want to continue working on this yeah that was kind of the sign but it's also like I'm realizing like oh I was too comfortable like I don't think I should be pooping in front of my partners in the future not like as like a kinky thing like sitting on the table. Why did you look at me daggers when she said that? No because I don't think I should be pooping in front of my partners in the future. Not like I mean. I mean, How about did you look at me, daggers, when she said that? No, because I used to... I don't know, do you poop with the door open?

Yeah, I don't. You do. I'm looking at you because we... Okay, I do, but every time I do, Dave literally goes, that's why there's a door and he closes it. Like, he will not let me in if he's going in the bathroom. I see, I see. So it's like he has set that boundary for us, but I probably, obviously, clearly would. We don't actively stare at each other.

Well, we're pooping. But I think I'm definitely more like he'll try to have a conversation with me. And I'll be like, can you stand over there and talk to me? But he doesn't care. He'll just sit there and have a full on, let me brainstorm with you. And I'll be like, talk to me after. Wait, how did you meet your man? We just celebrated 15 years married.

Oh, my gosh. Congratulations. Thank you. We celebrate 15 years married, but we've only known each other for like 15 and a half years. We got married very quickly. Oh, I love that. Yeah, fun. I saw him at my friend's wedding.

Nobody introduced me to him. Like, well, I'm not going to introduce myself. And then he wasn't trying to introduce himself to me. So I was like, well, snooze you lose. And I was like being like real like, whatever, you could have had this, but you didn't. And then I went home and I cyberstocked him on the internet. Yeah. So I looked him up.

I found out who he was. He was in a band. And like, you know, he was Christian. I was Christian. I was like, who is this guy? Oh, well, you still messed out. And then I never messaged him or anything. I didn't even tell my friend.

that got married that day that I looked him up, did my own research, clocked it, closed my laptop, lived my life for two years. Oh, whoa. Two years? Oh, my God, I could never. I could never either.

I'd scheme. I need to change my behavior because I would have stalked him and then just messaged him and been like, you're my boyfriend now. That's literally what I did with my first boyfriend. I'm like, oh, I'm a predator. I was just like, you're my boyfriend

and he's like, okay. He liked that toxic behavior I guess so I have like no chill Like if I like someone I'm gonna be like hello You're mine now Was there something in the back of your mind

Where you're like he'll come back around No I've dated all over the map Every ethnicity I've dated handsome I've dated ugly I've dated overweight I've David

It really always came down to like Heart and personality And like they could make me laugh And like, I think that's why a lot of, like, ugly comedians get the girls. So anyways, years go by and I go and I live my life. But then the next guy they ended up dating was very handsome. And similar in the sense of, like, oh, I was Christian. He was Christian.

But he was like a toxic version of what my husband was. And so he would say, like, all the Christianese words that would make me or someone who believed what I believed be like, oh, my gosh, he's the one. He's, we stopped dating and I meet my husband next. And how he came back around is my friend that got married that day. Two years later, she reaches out to me. And she was like, I want to hook you up with somebody. I was like, who? Like, who do you want to hook me up with?

And she was like, well, I don't know if he's your type, but check him out on Facebook. His name is Manuel Reyes. And all my research came flooding back. And I was like, I mean, I'm getting in the chills right now because I was like, I pretend I didn't know. I was like, all right, I'll look him up. And it happened very quickly. We met in August and we were engaged Christmas Eve and then we got married in June.

Yeah. And then we just celebrated 15 years. What is an example of like the Christianese perfect thing that like like what would you say to like try to get that Christian girl? Yeah. Are you trying to get a Christian girl? Yeah. You're like so like what would someone say if they were trying to get a Christian? Sure, sure.

I'm just curious like what tricked you versus then like it was real. I don't know. What is it? How's your day? Good. What's going on? whatever okay all right well he have a good day let me pray for you really quick oh my god he just rained for me stuff like that you know what I mean or just saying

certain terms that you say in Christian culture like how's your day in Christian culture be like hey how's your heart I'm having flashbacks of high school why because I went I was Christian I did a little I did a Christian you did a stint in Christianity I did a Christian yeah I did a Christianity stint. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I know the songs. So you know it.

So you know. As soon as you said, I clocked it as soon as you said season, I was like, Christian woman. I got to say, though, as the atheist in the room, I love when someone says they want to pray for me, over me, throw me. I love it. I'm always like, yeah, thank you. Like, whatever it is, whatever good wishes, good thing you want to send my way, like, send all of them. I always feel like super like honored. Yeah, that's sweet.

How's your heart? How's your heart is really... Can we go around and answer that? Yeah, I've heard it before. A deeper way of saying, how are you doing? It's kind of nice. How is my heart? How's your heart, Esther?

Well, my heart is a little heavy because of a personal, like, thing. I don't know how to answer it because no one's ever asked me. My heart is like medium. No one ever asked me this before. It's medium. Yeah. Medium rare. Medium rare.

How is your heart? I feel conflicted. I grew up a certain way and I would say certain things and I would mean it when I was saying it. And then I walked away from a culture because I didn't like the culture. I threw out the baby with the bathwater, if that makes any sense. I walked too far farther than what was true for me. I unsubscribe from this. This is trash.

I walked too far. And I'm like, oh, but now I'm in the dark over here. And this is not what I wanted. I'm almost like backtracking a little bit. And then taking a pause and being like, okay, is this where I'm supposed to be? Nah, this feels like lukewarm. Be hot or cold. Let me backtrack a little bit more right now.

Is this comedy related? It feels like so relatable of like comedy. world of being like get it all away from me and then like okay maybe a little i'll take a little i read it as like your relationship with just christianity and faith yeah it's more of faith and what do i believe about life see i think this is similar to what i was saying about when i look at a hot photo of myself for too long and then i start like it starts getting kind of blurry because my eyes are like so locked in so then it's all kind of fuzzy and i'm like has my nose always look like that that what's my house doing.

But I can, yeah. I think I do the same thing, though, with kind of anything. Like, if I'm kind of too hyper-focused on it, then I'm like, I'm not experiencing it. And if I'm just experiencing it, then I can feel it and appreciate it rather than like overly question it or analyze it or whatever. I feel what you're saying very much just because I was raised like deeply, deeply Catholic like in a very deeply Catholic country. My whole family is like God fearing, you know,

and there were bits and pieces of it that I found, that I continue to find very nostalgic. Even though I'm an atheist now, like I'll still go to Mass with my family, and I'll still kneel and I'll still do, I'll sing all the songs. And it's more of this like feeling of like, let me try to go back and do this the right way as it is true to me,

not how. It's been told I should, how I should be. Yeah. How do you feel hearing us all interpret your heart story? I know I love it. I mean, just processing my feelings with any of my friends helps me go, oh yeah.

I never thought about it that way. Oh, yes. And even like when you were talking about like in the comedy space, there is actually a piece of that that is true to me as well because I just, to bring it back to my special, I just released my special. Ugly baby streaming on YouTube right now. So good.

So now I have to start from scratch. When I tell you the anxiety is paralyzing, I'm like, I don't have anything to say. I'm 44 years old. I have plenty of things to say. But the story that I'm telling myself based off of this fear and anxiety of, oh my gosh, I have to start from scratch. The story I start telling myself is,

I don't have anything to say. What am I going to talk about? Blah, la. And then I start going deeper, deeper into a hole that I have to climb myself out of. I have to, how do I write a joke? I got to remember. I don't remember how to write a joke. And then I'll think those thoughts while I'm on my way to go do something.

So I don't have time to fully give it. So then I get anxious that I only had 45 seconds to think about a joke. And I'm like, you just try to write a joke in 45 seconds. Stop. Give yourself and wake up early tomorrow. Remind yourself that you know. how to do this. You know what you're doing. You're just telling yourself a story right now from your anxiety, from your fear, from your, oh my gosh, have to you do this? But you've done it seven times now.

Why do we all do this? It's like we all are spending so much time just telling the story. You're never going to do it again. I hear it from her a lot just because she feels as though like, you know, she's had back-to-back babies and that maybe her comedy is taken to backseat. But even in text messaging with you and in just everyday conversation. I know you don't like compliments. I won't look you in the eye. But she's so funny to me. It's like everything she says is to me a premise.

Yeah. Sometimes I'm like, don't you realize like you're just like you say like a renewable resource. But that story that you tell yourself really maybe like affects how you like take it on. It does. And it helps me to hear you say that too. Like labeling it like, oh, it's a story. I'm telling myself. And then you're getting in your own way.

Like I grew up dancing and me and like my dance friends always used to say like if we missed a ballet class, we'd like have so much shame from missing that we'd have to miss the next one too. And it's like the shame that you feel like it just can like grow and it's like just move on and like just do just show up. I have something to say to that because I brought this to therapy before because I mean like I said, my seventh hour special. So I do this every time. That's insane. That's sentence. Oh my God. Yeah.

Oh my. Let's have a moment for that. Seven. Maybe it's okay that you don't have. You know what I mean? Yeah, I think that's a very okay feeling after a seven. Yeah. Can I get Christian and let's just bow our heads for the seven hour.

Seven comedy special. Hallelujah. Wow. I feel like I've done this every time and I forget. It's kind of like they say like women having babies. Like you forget the pain that you went through so that you can do it again because you forgot. And then when you're going through it, you're like, oh, my God, why did I do this? And then as soon as you're done, you forget.

And my therapist helped me realize that I was trying to write material from a place of shame. Ooh. I was shaming myself into writing a joke. Yes. Ooh, I like that. It was so powerful. Yeah. And she's like, why don't you pause, radically accept where you are?

Yeah. I should be doing that. I should be responsible with my gift with my craft. I should. I have to be responsible. All these. I have fans that are counting on me today. I should be.

Yeah. You start shaming yourself into this whole. Let's pause. Radically accept, yeah, I haven't been doing that. I haven't been doing that. But you know what? That's okay. It's fine.

Because I can start today. If not today, I'm going to give myself a date next Thursday. I'm putting on my calendar. start next Thursday. And then when you start, you're starting from a place of radical acceptance of like, okay, I'm a comedian. I have a gift for writing jokes. My point of view is something that people want to hear. It could be about a topic that everybody experiences. But my point of view, they want to hear it. So let me just sit right here. How do I feel about this? What do I think about this? And write it down from this place of radical acceptance of this is where I am instead of shame.

And it's such a different experience. And I say that to you as I'm re-saying it to myself to remind myself as I am in this place again. And Esther, how's your heart now? Oh, my God, my heart. Like my Lexapro is like holding back the tears what they want to come through. It's just so beautiful to hear someone say out loud about themselves. Like, I have a gift. And even though it was like in the context of like should, whatever, but like just even the fact that you feel about yourself that you have a gift,

you have a responsibility to use your gift you like it's just so beautiful like you're like my fans want to hear my point of view and that's just something that I would never think about myself but when I hear you say it I'm like I want to say that about myself too like I want to feel that way because that's just sounds so inspiring and beautiful and why shouldn't I think that like even if I'm making it up in my head like why shouldn't I you know that was just so hallelujah hallelujah Church of Angela. How is your heart? Good.

This is kind of like a religious spiritual pot up. Today, I know. I met a priest this weekend. A Catholic father. I was hoping he was going to be sexy and I was going to have like my flea bag moment because I didn't know what he was going to look like. I was just doing this like retreat at a monastery and they're like, there's a priest available and I'm like, sign me up.

And then he was like old and fat and bald. Just a priest. Yeah. Yeah. No sexy vibes. But he was kind of like I feel like I need like a young priest. Why? Because like an old guy, like he just wasn't getting me.

What wasn't he getting? I was like, could we pray for my mom? Like thinking that he's going to be like, yeah, let's pray for your mom. And then he's like, yeah, you can pray for whoever you want. And I was like, that's not really. Yeah. It's not clocking to you. father is not clocking to you slightly rude even yeah i know he was and he was like checking his phone

he had an android and i was like i'm putting a lot of expectations on him but it is weird to see like a religious figure just be like checking their phone before i walk in i'm like no you're not supposed to have a phone yeah you don't do technology you don't do that you have an abacus and i'm like who is he following on instagram yeah yeah yeah i need you to pull out your compass to know where you're walking next Like that's as far as I want you to be in technology. Yeah, be following the sun. Yeah. Yeah. All of that.

It's so sunset soon. Yeah. Yeah, that's a major priest. Yeah. Did you enjoy that retreat that you went on? I did enjoy the retreat and I did enjoy like. What did you guys do? Well, it was like a sober women's retreat.

Oh, I love that. Yeah. Yeah. What? We get invited. You guys get next year. Sounds perfect for us. Yeah.

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10 years. Whoa. Yeah, I got sober when I was 20. and now I'm 30 and I've been sober for 10 years and now I go on sober women's retreat That's awesome Do you still do or did you ever, I mean say still like I knew your journey Like meetings and stuff like that?

Yeah I go to meetings Yeah But I've gone through my seasons of that as well Now I would say like the past 10 months I've been like going back to meetings And like getting involved But you know what it is? I love community

I love community That's why I loved being a Christian. That's why I love going to Jewish sleepaway camp. That's why I love going to AA. That's why I love comedy. That's why I loved being like a production assistant back in the day. Like I love when everyone has kind of a little job and a little purpose and people have clipboards. I love it.

I would love to be a bee. Like just a part of a bee colony or the queen? If I'm reincarnated, I would love to be the queen, but beggars can't be choosers. I just love that everyone has a little job. They're all going to their little hive. They're getting their little thing. Are we not a yellow jacket? You want just a friendly honeybee.

Or just anyone that has a job. When I get reincarnated, I'd like to have a job. If I was reincarnated as a bee, I wouldn't want to be the queen bee, but I've been watching bee documentaries lately because my daughter loves bees. When the egg gets laid, egg, there's multiple eggs that they're all contenders to be the queen. and whoever hatches first, she's the queen. But the rest of them, we're on track to be queen. All to be that big size too.

Yeah. Or like I'll be reincarnated as like a construction worker or something. I like that for you. Yeah. I really do. Sometimes I have a dream of, and I could do this easily. I have a dream of being a barista. Oh my God. I want to be a neighborhood barista.

Yes. Not like not at Starbucks, just like a local coffee shop because I want to know people. orders. I don't think you need to be reincarnated for that. I think you can just opt in today, right? No. Wait, let's go be barisas together. Like in this lifetime now. Just I also need a schedule. With comedy, there's too much freedom. And I think that I don't like freedom. No, freedom is horrible. I think I need to go to a communist country if I want to experience true happiness. Do you know how Andy Kaufman was a busboy at the restaurant Dominix when he was on the show, Yeah, like that's, I always think of that.

And I'm like, I want a waitressing job. Maybe I need to like reframe it because I think that there is like a bit of ego where I'm like, well, I can't be a bristia now because what if someone recognizes me? No, I think you should reframe it. Okay. But I do in the same way that I need to publicly comment when I look hot and acknowledge it, if I'm going to be, if you see me as a barista, just know it's because I yearn. I yearn to be a barista. Yeah. In like a fantasy barista way or like.

You really are like, legitimate like, I'm making an espresso shot. I see. I'm doing the toast tab POS system. You'd love like, I think you'd be really good with like knowing your customers and small talks. Exactly. And knowing their exact orders. Well, I used to work at a chicken wing spot. Oh, I'll get, I'll make it spiritual for you and for the listener at home.

I'm like, you know, maybe five years into comedy thinking that I'm some hot shit because I'm opening for big comics and I'm like on podcast and like. I'm cool. You know, people know who I am. Like, I shouldn't be working at a chicken wings shop, but I am because I need money. So I'm working at this chicken wings place and I'm just like miserable. In every single food service job I've had, I've been miserable. I go, I don't bother to learn where the spoons and utensils go. And I keep being like, why am I getting fired? Like, you guys know me. I'm Ali. I don't need to be like the best restaurateur. I'm just here to be a good time. And so I'm like, I tell myself, I'm like, this is going to be my last food service job.

This is it. And my friend, sober friend, was like, well, then why don't you actually make it good? And I'm like, because this isn't my dream. My dream isn't to be a chicken wings person. And he goes, it doesn't have to be your dream to like enjoy. Like, just because you enjoy this job or do a good job doesn't mean that you are the chicken wing girl.

Yeah. And I was like, interesting. So I could just be a good employee. No thank you. And it doesn't need to be my whole life. And so he's like, why don't you try holding God's hand? Oh. And I said, what the hell are you talking about?

And he's like, God's in your passenger seat when you're driving up to work. When you get out of the car, open the door for God. Hold God's hand when he gets out and take God into work with you. So I did, guess what? Had a great day at work. And guess what? Everyone loved me at that job. And I had so many friends who came in that I met through working at that job.

job, people who I'm still friends with today. And when I left that job, first of all, I put in two weeks notice, and my manager was like, no one does that. This is a chicken wings shop. Like, people aren't doing like a two-week resignation letter. And then when I left, shop closed. Wow. Shop closed.

So. They needed that personality hire. Wait, does anyone low-key kind of want that diarrhea that's going around? Wait, me. Hilarious. I did think about it a little bit when my pants, like I said, they were hurting. I was like, hmm. I know.

I don't know why. Should I go get some lettuce? scared. I'm like, do you guys not want diarrhea? As a diarrhea girl, the reason I don't want this specific type of diarrhea is because it doesn't make you skinny. It doesn't feel. Well, it's like it's going to cause so much pain, fatigue, bloating.

You know, that kind of sick diarrhea that's not just lucky diarrhea because there's lucky diarrhea and then there's sick diarrhea. The lucky one is like mild irritant. It gets it out of you. You feel skinny. You go about your Friday looking hot. This one, cyclospora, no way. You're going to feel like shit.

You couldn't even be. Yeah, it does. It does. Or like a birth control. Low estrin. It kind of is birth control. I mean, if you get extreme diarrhea, it's definitely birth control for a certain amount of time. How long does it last?

Cyclespora. It could be weeks. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's a no. Thank you for me. Yeah. Have you ever just been like gotten real like norah or food poisoning?

You're bloated. Your stomach, you might feel like psychologically skinny, but like you don't look great down here. Yeah, but you know what? I kind of love like I have a good life when I really look at it. My life is so good, so simple, so boring. But sometimes it is kind of nice to get just fucked by some diarrhea. Unclaim, unclaim, unclaim. And like, okay, here's what it reminds me of.

back when I was drinking, I kind of loved being like miserably hung over because I'd be like, I'm just going to drink fluids. And like on Monday, I'm really going to get it figured out. Like I love kind of being pushed to my limits where I have to reevaluate everything and go, things are going to be different after that. Yeah, it's a real seeker. You are an addict. Yeah, totally.

A diarrhea addict? No, it's just like there's that, that looking for that being. event yeah i need something big for me to like wow and did you have you guys ever gotten a colonoscopy yes did i oh no i had an endoscopy oh did you have to take did you have to drink that liquid that makes you poop everything out prep i love that stuff because it's such a detox that i go things have to be different after this yeah but then i remember after my colonoscopy first thing I ate, chili cheese fries. Mung on.

From Volcano Burger, Los Alamitos. If anyone is in Los Alamitos, go to Volcano burger and get the chili cheese fries. After your colonoscopy. After your colonoscopy. You're not wrong, though. Colonoscopy is a little bit like a new notebook. Yeah. It's like, yes.

New life starts now. I've done colonic. How was your experience with that? The first time I absolutely hated it. Wait, awful. Is it a colonic, the one where they like flush out your butt? Yeah. The first time I did it was absolutely horrible.

I felt like I had diarrhea cramps for an hour. And I said, I'm only going to do this again if I absolutely have to, like for health reasons. Then I got a parasite. And so I was doing a parasite cleanse. And I'm like, well, I'm going to go sit and have diarrhea for an hour because I need to get it out. And that time it actually wasn't as bad. But I did see parasites go by. Wait, what?

Yeah. You did not. Yes. I have a memory, which could be like completely made up. And whenever I say it out loud, it sounds like child abuse, so no one call anyone on my family. But I could have sworn when I was little, I had like worms of some sort. And so a bowl of like milk was placed under my asshole and I sat on top because I guess it like makes the worms come out or something. Was that like a family cultural like?

No, I think it just happened to me. You can just test for the larva by putting tape on the butt. And then you can put that under a microscope. Yeah, I don't know. As a girl who has absolutely had worms. And I pulled a worm out my butt as a kid. No way. Mm-hmm.

Proud moment. It's part of life. Sometimes worms happen. This is a lot of kids do have. Kids, kids have it a lot. Yeah. Well, and I was a big lice girl. Oh, me too.

I had lice a bunch of times growing up. Oh, lice are maybe controversial take. Fun. Oh, God. They're fun. Well, because you love hair. Yeah. I love my hair being like played with, picked on.

I like being fussed over. So for me, lice meant that someone was going to just get in there with the lice comb. We call it a sood because it's very like fine tooth. And it would take out the nits, right? The baby ones, but the big ones, you would do this. That sound is so nostalgic for me. You get a big one and you go pik. And it was just.

Just a family event. Lice was a family event. And I know this sounds like, you know, I'm making it up for the sake of comedy, but like there really is, like, I have nostalgic memories around having lies. Not when you keep getting lies over and over again and suddenly you're doing crazy stuff, like putting mayo in your hair and watching it out with vinegar and you're like a hot dog now. Yeah. You're just like a barbecue in the bathtub.

And then here's the thing. I grew up mostly with a single father. and so he's not spending the time doing this. So our poor neighbor, this beautiful woman constantly having to go through my hair, I look back, I go, oh, my dad was boning. Oh, was he? Yeah, all of these things in my life, like, you know, as a kid where I'm like, all these beautiful neighborhood women were like helping out.

Community. I'm like, my dad was piping them all down in exchange for them to pull lice out of my hair. Wait, I didn't know you were mostly raised by a single dad. Where was your, what's your mom's deal? She's an alcoholic. Yeah. Interesting. Yes.

Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Yeah. So it was like, you know, marry the neighbor. It's like, oh, no wonder she's taking me to Disneyland all the time. Oh, my gosh. My dad's piping her dick. Because we lived in these like town homes, which is pretty much just like a dick resort for my dad. It's like everyone's like a neighbor there.

And so it's like, oh. And then, yeah, there were so many, you know. maternal figures in my life growing up that like I thought were just out of the goodness of their heart. But you know what? I say like maybe there were some perks to your dad being a whole a little bit. Yeah. Totally. Because who else was going to mother and, you know, mother you for that day? Yeah. And maybe you needed the mayo in your head. I actually just texted you this, which is, was a big reveal for you. But I had a nanny, my Yaya Betty, who was to this day like my biggest, biggest heartbreak. And I always thought that she suddenly up and left when I was six years old.

And no one explained why she left. This woman had been with me since as long as I could remember. One day she was just like, hi, like I'm leaving, packed her bags and went. And I think I must have cried my heart out every day for two months. It was never explained to me why Yaya Betty left. To this day, I still write her on Facebook. You kept in touch. I searched for her high and low and found her as an adult.

And she still is so wonderful and sweet with me. And she's like, darling, I miss you. You were like my first little baby. She's had kids since, but I was like her first little baby. And are you going to share the reveal of where she went? The reveal was, as it turns out, my grandpa was boning her. She had an affair with my grandpa. Oh, Mago.

And she got kicked out because of it. But it was, I was too young for that to have been explained to me. Sure. Sure. They could have just said what my grandparents said about sex, which was slow dancing. My grandma was like, when my grandpa died of a heart attack, she's like, well, grandpa and I were slow dancing. That's how we died? Slow dancing is so funny.

Yeah, but later I found out they were having sex. But he died during sex? Yeah. Well, he got a heart attack. During sex? Yeah. Oh, that's traumatizing. I know.

She died doing what he loved. Yeah. If you loved that, I don't know. I don't know what he loves. Slow dancing is so funny. I know. They all lie. This is very Christian.

Yeah. It's a lie. No. Wow. Okay. So your nanny and then she left, nobody ever told you. How old were you when you reached out to her when you actually were like, hey. I would say maybe like eight years ago now.

I greet her on her birthday. She has like, she was wonderful. And it is not her fault. My grandpa was a little handsome player. Are your grandparents still? around no they are they've passed but also like I understood why because we all lived in like a multi-generational household so like you couldn't have that kind of drama within because everyone was living grandma was in the house grandpa was in the house yeah nanny my yaya was in the house

when did you find out the truth probably in my 30s how did you yeah my mom I was like what happened there she's like well you know like my family is so fucked up man like they just and That's one of the milder things that have happened, but still it's like, I truly do not blame that woman. She was a saint. I think my grandpa was just, you know, a dog. R-I-P. He was great, though. So you were one of three girls, right?

Yeah. And I'm the baby. Three girls and a single dad is, that's chaos. Yeah. Are your parents still around? They're around, yeah. Do you have a relationship with your mom? At this moment, no.

And the priest was of no health. No. I'm mad at that priest. I know. Father something. I don't need a public beef with a pretty. It's not good for the brand. How is everyone? I feel like it's kind of like the midpoint of summer. How are we feeling?

Don't even say that. I thought we were still waiting for summer. I have not like done summer yet. You're right. It's still July. I like only just went in a pool for the first time yesterday. It is mid-July. Yeah, but we live in California. There is our summer goes to at least mid-October. you guys so triggered right now all i did was say it's the midpoint of summer and you guys are

attacking yeah i always have like these big plans i'm like summer's gonna be awesome i'm gonna like go to the beach and i'm gonna like be a horror and like i'm just gonna live my crazy life and i like have not started at all so you have to say it's talk you have to start sounds like you're shaming yourself into summer i need to radically accept that i can be a horror right now yeah you can start today thank you but how are we feeling besides clearly so behind i don't know it's like are you guys having any fatigue over like instagram vacation like euro trip stuff like i'm ready for back to school season personally like i'm ready to buy my new backpack and my notebooks i never i have never felt that feeling in my life to want to go back to school excited oh my god fucking weirdo that's me every year are you who's what

pick aside i did not like going to school but i did love to school but i did love of back to school shopping and it was always so fun to go down the aisle and pick out my new notebook and my new pens and like in my brain I was like I'm going to be so smart this year never happened by like day one I have anxiety I want to throw up and I hate school but the back to school shopping was always hopeful and it was like this is going to be different yeah I'm ready for summer to be over you guys are I feel like last year I was really I felt like everyone was in Europe last year And I was like, why is everyone going on these trips without me? Why is everyone in Europe?

And this year, I feel like I haven't really seen that. But I'm also going on a trip in September. And so I think because I have a trip on the horizon, I'm like, have fun on your little trips. The real trip is coming. The queen beach. Get ready to watch me be on a trip. And I know herites and her area, it's a trip. It's going to be a gorgeous trip.

I'm going to Hawaii for my birthdays, September 8. I'm enjoying. And yeah, it's like my first friend trip. I've never been on like a group trip with friends. That's fun. She sounds so fun. What party are you going to? Honolulu.

Uh-huh. Yeah. And we're getting an Airbnb. Friend trips are so interesting to me because there's always one, at least one fallout. The friend trip hasn't even begun and I was almost already the problem. Well, here's the thing. I've never been on a friendship. I don't know the rules.

Oh, interesting. Oh, I don't know the edge of my seat. A friend trip. And so it's... Because I'll be there at the same time, but away, but so I'll be watching from a distance. So it's this group of friends. There's five of us. You know, I have other friends.

And so I'm kind of like, we've got this big Airbnb. I'm kind of like inviting more people. I'm like, come on this trip. A mistake, Allie. And so I told my friend, I'm like, you should come to Hawaii. Like, it's going to be so fun. And so she's like, yeah, she books her flight. And I like text the group.

Oh, no. Just by the way, like this girl can come, right? And everyone's like, we thought it was just us. Like, no. Like I thought like this was our. And so I'm like, no, of course. No, and you guys are totally right. So then I had to tell my friend, I said, I know you bought the ticket already.

But I consulted with the group. And unfortunately, I spoke too soon. I didn't realize it was a, you know, the group was exclusive that's so huge of you because I have made that same mistake and not and then just

forced the person onto my group and sure enough the added person was a thorn in everyone's ass not to say that this person is but what a mistake well I think too like when the vibes are

like I'm sure if I brought this person like the vibes going in what the friends would have been like please she wasn't It was supposed to be us. Yeah, it starts off in a negative. And I felt so bad because she just popped the ticket. You were just excited though and it was your birthday.

Yeah. Yeah. And so she comes over and she walks in and she goes, I just got this dress for Hawaii. Oh gosh. And I go, so I have some bad news. Unfortunately, I spoke too soon and I didn't realize that this was like just the group that is going is the group that is going. And that's it.

And I was like, but obviously I really want to, like, I want you there and I want to do something with you. So if I'm out of town, you can stay at my place. When I get back, we can go on like a fun trip. How did she take it? I think she took it well, but I think she was like disappointed. Yeah. I would be. I'd be bummed.

I got a question. Is she friends with the other group of friends? Not really. Okay. Like everyone kind of knows each other. but not like what like this group that's going to Hawaii it's like we've made these plans we're all good friends i have been thoroughly annoyed by last minute additions from other people too where it's just like i'm super like private and i my friends are my friends and we're so comfortable with each other so if like

one noob comes around it is like now i can't just like lay it all out yeah and i think it's not that like you know no one wanted her there like whatever it was just like this is the group yeah we're mentally prepared to just be this core group. Have you gone on friendships, Angela? Oh, yeah. Any big fallouts? Any advice? No big fallouts.

I did do a girls trip to Hawaii. Yeah, what other like unspoken rules are there that maybe I don't know? I had shows, but I made it a trip. Yes. Fun. There was no fallout, but I will say all of these friends, I was their connection. Mm-hmm. You know?

Yeah. So these are like my best friends. and I'm going to take us on a trip together. Kind of like a bachelor at party vibe. And like these two talk, but these two don't really vibe. They see each other at my events, but they don't text each other.

You know what I mean? So it's like that kind of thing. But then do you feel responsible for the vibe because that would stress me out because then I'd be like making sure that everyone's getting along and no one's mad at me? I think everybody knew each other enough to where I didn't.

Okay. Because I've been friends with all of these. people for a very long time and even though they don't talk every birthday that I host Thanksgiving that I host game night that I host they're all there familiar faces you know what I mean yeah yeah so it was enough to where we're like we're in this beautiful island we're having a great we're at the pool I don't care that I'm not besties with you yeah you know I mean I would say my piece of advice of having traveled across the world with a group of 19 and then once doing a girls trip to Vegas with 25 girls and I organize like everything.

Wait, that's so many. That's a lot. How do you even know that? That's like gross. I know. It's a lot. My thing is if you have plans and you have this idea for how the day is going to go, give your friends a chance to opt in or out.

Don't obligate anyone to any activities. Let them have their own vacation the way they see it because like having to drag someone who's either tired, just not in the mood is going to just. sour whatever like activity you had plan. So it's like they don't want to zip line. Don't just stay home. Stay in the Airbnb, do your thing. Thank you so much.

Thanks for having me. Congrats on your seventh or eight. Is it your seventh? Seven special. That's so crazy. Thank you. Also, I know that people bring it up all the time, but the nail salon bed is just,

it still is just such a classic. I feel like there's so few comics that have like such iconic bits that are so quotable and like last and stand the test of time and yours thank you yeah i'm grateful to have that that's there's there's definitely times where i will pause to take a moment to sit in awe of what i have been given like what a gift that is there's many successful comedians out in the world doing their thing loving what they do do but they still don't have a thing that has infiltrated pop culture in such a way to where 20 years later people still quote it in their everyday life in the same way that I quote

Wayne's world and dumb and dumber in my everyday life to think that I am that to someone blows my mind so cool thank you both so much for being here today where can we find you angela my specials on youtube for free there's no paywall or anything it's just ugly baby Angela Johnson-Reyes on YouTube and I'm on all the social media is just Angela Johnson. Even though I'm Angela Johnson-Reyes, my handle is still just Angela Johnson.

I go to Alliemukovsky.com. I'm going to be in like Chicago, Detroit, Pittsburgh, other places. So go there. Thank you guys so much. We will see you next week. Thank you.