Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Atsuko Okatsuka: The “u” is silent

Episode Date: September 30, 2024

For listeners: You can get 20% off your first order. Use code TRASHTUESDAY!Go to https://www.rocketrx.com and enter code: TRASHTUESDAY at checkout for 20% off your first order. Follow the link in the description! See Esther LIVE!  ___________________________________________________________________ This week we have the hilarious Atsuko Okatsuka (the u’s are silent!!!) in the stu. She tells us about being the first renter on MTV Cribs, Filipinos' love for family & nutella, the uneasy feeling of Ira Glass asking to profile you for This American Life + much more!!  MORE ATUSKO: Tour Dates: https://atsukocomedy.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/atsukocomedy/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@atsukocomedy?lang=en Chapters:  00:00 Hide & Hide: Reality vs. The Game 01:28 Atsuko is here & The “u” is silent (twice) 05:00 Who does Esther want to be when she’s older?  08:57 Atsuko & her Gma on MTV Cribs 11:36 Atsuko & her Gma on This American Life 14:27 The Filipinos: Love for their country & Nutella 18:52 Boxing Helena: A Filipino RomCom 21:06 Different Jokes in Different Area Codes 24:48 Burying Dead People in Your Yard 33:04 Atsuko on the Sherri Papini story 39:00 The earthquake during Atsuko’s set 44:30 Not MomTok, Mom Talk….(nice) 46:28 Slug Q’s for Atsuko! _______________________________________________________________ Follow & WATCH More Trash: YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TrashTuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday More Esther: TikTok:   / esthermonster   Instagram:   / esthermonster   More Khalyla:  Instagram:   / khalamityk   Tigerbelly Podcast:    / @tigerbelly   Production:  Production Co. Tiny Legends Productions Editor: Case Blackwell

We have a lot of family here, but a lot of them are hiding and hiding. So it's like the sadness is that you can never really go back home because once you go back home, you're never coming back. What? Yeah. Yeah. You can't come back if you're undocumented. If you leave, you can't come back to the States. Yeah. Hide and hide. Yeah. It's like a really fucked up hide and seek where there is no seek. In fact, that's yeah.

What is that? What is that game? Hide and hide? Nobody ever comes to look for you. You know, they're looking. Oh yeah, they are looking. Did anyone play hide and seek with you? They never tried to find me. Oh, they didn't? Oh, that's so sad. I was just telling you about my undocumented story. So go ahead. Have you ever experienced erectile dysfunction? You're not alone. For listeners, you can get 20% off your first order. Use code TRASHTUESDAY.

Go to rocketRx.com and enter code TRASHTUESDAY at checkout for 20% off your first order. Follow the link in the description. Okay, today we have a very, very special lass on the show. Fresh off an international tour. Wow. From New Zealand was your last stop. That's right. She has an HBO special called The Intruder.

She is an international phenomenon. Wow. And we are so happy to have her today. Everyone, Atsuko Okatsuka. Thank you. Yeah. Woo. Hello. Thank you so much. Atsuko. Yeah, the U is there in both my first name and last name, but it's silent. So the last name is Okatsuka? Yeah. Yeah. Atsuko Okatsuka. Yeah. Nailed it. What a mindf— No, don't worry. My name is Kalei Lacune. No one gets it right. Not even my mom. So. Wow. We need to check on that.

Yeah. We need to check on that. Why not your mom? Cause I think that she gets a hung up on the H after the K, which my dad wanted to throw in there. So I think my dad wanted like something unique and confusing. Did she say it like, like the Hebrew way, like halayla? I wish she did.

No, it's halila. Of course. Halila. I wish you did. No, it's Halila. Oh, you're right. You're right. Of course. Halila. Yeah, yeah. It was your, yeah, a very dad versus mom kind of feud. Yeah, I think my dad was being a little pretentious with my spelling of the name, but... My dad chose my name too. He did? Yeah. He was like, something rhymey.

Something, you know, Atsuka Okatsuka? Is that not just my name backwards? What are you doing? Dad! She's a star. No, uh, yeah, so he was trying to do something there too, I feel like. And he, yeah, he named me after a samurai. It's a long story. But you were raised by your grandmother here. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You were born here?

I was born in Taiwan, and then I was in Japan until I was like eight, and then my grandma snatched me up. My grandma snatched me away from my dad. My dad had full custody of me in Japan, yeah. And then that's how I ended up here. And when you were younger, you were under the impression that you were just coming here on a vacation, right? Right, right. It's kind of like a common story is what I'm finding,

you know, as you grow older and you tell your story. A lot of like former undocumented immigrants or immigrants are like, I was also told that we were only coming here to see Disneyland or something like two month vacation. And you never make it home. Why? I don't know. It's a thing that the parents should figure it out and talk about it amongst each other. But yeah, I don't know why. Maybe because it would be too hard on the kid. I think so.

And but I will say I was on the other side of that where I was told that I was going to live a life in the United States. I was going to move there permanently and it was equally as hard, if not maybe worse. So because like, you know, the idea is that, oh, if you tell a kid and you explain it to a child, they'll get it and they'll know what to expect. It was just as shitty. Like leaving a country that you're so familiar with, all your friends are there. And all of a sudden you're here and you're like, what the f— is this place? Did you have friends in the Philippines? I was under the impression you didn't.

I had some dogs and pets. And it's some worms and stuff. This it's something... Worms and stuff. This was an impression Esther got and you never even said that. You know what I mean? Like it's something... I just figured you didn't. It's because one time I told her

I had wrapped a string around a chow mein noodle and made it a pet. That was your friend. Yeah, I had some trauma as a kid, but... 100%. Yeah, mine, I did it with pigeons. I didn't put string on them. Yeah, that's...

I would be worried. But you just kept them as pets. That's different. That's serial killer. No, I didn't keep them as pets. I would go to public where you're supposed to and bring the bread. I was that, the feed the birds, top in the bag. You're that lady. You did that young instead of old. Yes, yes, yes.

My favorite lady is this lady by this park that I walk past all the time, and she's the pigeon lady, and nothing makes me happier than watching how happy she is when she's with her pigeons just feeding them. Yeah, that was me. At seven. Do you guys ever think about what you'll be like

as old ladies? Because lately, I've been thinking, have you ever seen one of those old ladies that carries around a really realistic baby doll? Mm-hmm. That I think- What do you- wait, hold on. What do you mean? Mm-hmm. I'm so casual. What do you- wait, hold on. No? Where? You've never seen those old, like, hyper realistic babies that they make where, like, you could not even, you're talking about those, right? Yeah, of course I am.

What neighborhood do you live in? Well, I haven't seen one in my neighborhood, but I've seen them in like the city of Chicago. I'm sure that's where it was. The city of Chicago. Somewhere amongst the streets. But I can feel that when I'm an old lady, I'll be pushing a stroller with a fake baby, a realistic fake baby. Do you see that for your, what do you guys see for your?

No, Esther, this is, I'm still having to go back to what, do I see this for myself? I barely even knew this existed until half a second ago. And you're both like, yeah, I know what you're talking about. You know, like in the city of Chicago, maybe on like a cold night. No, wait, so like a baby baby doll like you give to kids. You have dementia or no dementia? No dementia hopefully. Well although maybe if there's like a good kind of dementia where I think the baby's real but I, you see this it's like basically you know you're I think when you're a child right

you can play pretend. I think when you're old, you can get back into it. 100%. So that's why I wanna create a little fantasy world for myself. Wait, I just thought of a side note I have to share. I was once talking to this woman and she was in her 60s and she was single. And she was telling me about a guy she was seeing.

They stopped talking for a while. He was, I think, in his 70s, maybe 80s. And then she wrote to him after not seeing him for a while. He wrote back to her, and he said, sorry, I've been out of touch. I moved to... country, Thailand, and I've become an adult baby. Oh, okay, so that's...

This is not the podcast I listened to at all. Is that when you cried? Why be? Is that the moment you were like, I wanna do that too. You should stop crying. That took such a turn. My dream.

I thought it was gonna be some sweet, loving ending. I know what you thought. I could tell. Oh my God. Yeah, so I was just gonna pitch that that I could also see that for myself if I have the means to do that. 100%. You know, my mom and grandma wear Depends adult diapers.

And they love it because I feel like, you know, because anytime I'm like, anytime I bring them the Depends, you know, they're just like, yes, I get to get in it. I don't have to worry. I don't have to change underwear. This is kind of what I wear for the whole day, maybe two days. I don't know if that's TMI, but, you know, to be like, ah, someone's taking care of me. That's her dream. I don't have to do laundry. Yeah, that's great. Your dream now, right, is to adult diapers. If I could make it work, I would.

Yeah, I think there's something. Don't you want me to do it now? These things you could do now. You're right. Thailand now. You're why wait till you're older. Wait a second go to Thailand now. Why wait till you're older? Pretend now. Why did I just have a baby? Have your 80 year old boyfriend now. You can do all these things. They're like, oh, you know what I wish. These are very achievable things. You want to have a plastic baby? Let's go to freaking wherever they sell it. Walmart now.

TikTok shop. I've seen them. 100%. Do any of these options sound good to you guys? How do you envision yourself as a geriatric? I want to. I was raised by my grandma and so she's kind of inspiring in that. I do want that tight curly perm that my grandma rocks. My mom rocks it too. Three generations of women, we've got to complete it.

Are they the type who still very much like upkeep their looks? No. So they did have perms, the perms have kind of withered away now, but oh, they're pulling up pictures of my grandma. So these are, you know, for shoots. That was, you know, I don't know what that was. We did MTV Cribs. Are you serious? We were. Yeah, I was like, oh, I didn't know the show was still on. Did you? No, I think it must have come back after a hiatus. Yes. I think like a year before the pandemic, it came back. OK. MTV Cribs, they hit me up. I said, what did you run out of people? And

OK, we were the I was like like we were about to be the first renters on MTV Cribs represent I opened the door and I was like what's up guys welcome to Ray's house thank you shout out to my landlord you know and so yeah anyway so because my grandma was you know in front of front of the camera, she's made up here, you know, we got a makeup artist, did her hair. Why did your grandma steal you? Because look at us, we're best friends. I know, it's very cute.

You know, she, I think, so for her, right, she felt a responsibility, you know, my mom couldn't take care of me because she has schizophrenia. And so, but to my mom, right, my grandma was watching her suffer. And, you know, when the court ordered that my dad should have full custody of me, my mom very much felt like it was the only thing she had that was taken from her. You know, and so my grandma was like, I'll take care of Otzko. You know, you get your daughter too.

And so there was some tricking, you know, she told my dad it was a two month vacation too kind of thing. Was it your mom's mom? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I see. That would be a while to do that for, right. Yeah. My mom's mom. Yeah. Okay. At what point did the reveal come in where, where she was like, just

kidding, we're not going back. We're here for good Yeah, I think well, I was always afraid to ask I knew I'm not you know I was I'm eight but I can count you know what I mean. I was like, oh strange three months now Hmm. Oh four months. I got enrolled in school. I Was like hmm, that's weird. You know what I mean? I got enrolled in a whole new school. And then, you know, like, yeah, after a while, all our stuff got shipped, you know, to LA. So I was like, I think this is moving. I think we moved. But I was scared to ask because, right, when you ask, truth comes out, more truth. And, you know, it's wild the things we'll do to not find out the truth because we don't want to feel

sad right yeah so it wasn't until this year or last year you know Ira Glass yeah it's not good when he approaches you you never want Ira Glass to come knocking at your door. Because that means someone fucked up in your life. Okay, you never wanna be an inspiration to people. You don't wanna do this American life. That means, oh, you have a touching story, because you have a sad one.

And so anyway, Ira Glass was like, hey, I know this story about you. Do you want to find out what really happened? And so he provided like interpreters because my Mandarin and Japanese are kind of bad, like second grade level. So he provided interpreters for me. I went back to Japan to interview my dad.

You know, I interviewed my grandma and he helped like research the law and stuff like that for me. And he was like, yeah, technically what your grandma did is a kidnapping and technically you can still press charges. So you know, anyway, yeah, that would be funny if like all of a sudden you're like grandma, you're under arrest. No, I know.

Right? Yeah. Yeah. Now she now every time I'm like, hey, MTV Cribs is coming. She kind of feels like, I wonder if she feels like she has to because I have this on her. I would love to have that on a loved one. Yeah, yeah, like, hey, you took me, remember.

I could put you in jail at any time. It's wild, yeah, but she is my best friend. So it's like a complex. Yeah, that is really interesting because I feel like that's actually a more common story than we think. Especially with like immigrants and stuff, you know, like, I know in the Philippines, you know, it's so hard to acquire a visa to travel to the United States, even if it's just a tourist visa, because it's a third world country, so you have to have like a big show of like money and stuff. And a lot of times like families are split up.

Like the, the common story in the Philippines is that moms with very young kids sacrifice and take an overseas job and become nannies and absorbed into that family while their kids grow up back home without them. And in their minds, it's like, this is the ultimate sacrifice because there's no middle class in the Philippines. There's no way for them to make ends meet or to provide. So it's like, why don't we make American dollars and just send it home? Meanwhile, they are considered second moms to a lot of these like more affluent white babies that aren't theirs.

And I don't know, there's, it happens so much and it's happened so much in my own family that it sort of becomes the norm. But when you tell it to somebody else, that's when you're like, oh, that's fucked up. It's like there's, it's a fractured family unit. Yeah, that's horrible. Yeah. And the Filipinos really do do that a fractured family unit. Yeah, that's horrible. Yeah. And the Filipinos really do do that a lot for their family. Yeah. Like even, okay, so even flying to the Philippines from LA, already on board,

there was this man with, oh my God, two big bags of Portals Bakery that he was gonna, it was fresh. Yeah. He was adamant. He had driven to Burbank, got to LA that he was gonna, it was fresh. Yeah. He was adamant, he had driven to Burbank, got to LAX, and was like, I'm gonna take this to the Philippines. 14 hour flight for my family. That's the Filipinos though.

Yeah, you know, the worst flight or check-in experience you will ever have is on a flight to the Philippines. Why? Because everyone has six boxes each to bring home. And you know what's in those boxes? They want to spam mac and cheese, American chocolate, Nutella. Nutella.

Yes. Huge. One woman, she got caught at the TSA at the X-ray. Yes. With a big, I've never seen a Nutella. I didn't even know they came in this size. It was so big. They had stopped her and we were all in solidarity

for her. Like we were all watching like please don't take that away from her. That could have easily been me. We all know. We all know what it's like to love your family. Yeah. I thought you were going to say to love Nutella. Oh yeah. To love. Yes. No this is where we differ. Esther. Okay. For me it's family first. For you's hazel chocolate or whatever it is. But no, we were like, that could have been me. And we were all rooting for her when it got taken. We were like, I bet you, you know, TSA, they took it probably in the back and ate it themselves.

You know what I mean? But they did take it? They did take it. We should write a petition. That's horrible. You know, it's TSA being like, oh, whatever we crave. They're the ones that like, they're like, Nutella is liquid. Yeah, it's TSA being like, oh whatever we crave. They're the ones that like they're like Natila is liquid Yeah, it's liquid because we want to snack it ourselves. I know them. I know these people

Bastards. Yeah, but anyway, the Filipinos always looking out for the family every Filipino I met They all have a cousin or something. Someone is in California Yeah, a hundred percent, but we have this thing here where it's like the you know how you lived undocumented for several years right? Over here the Filipinos call it TNT where it's it's like short for tago natago which is like hide and hide. Like if you're undocumented like we have a lot of family here but a lot of them are hiding and hiding. So it's like the sadness is that you can never really go back home because once you go back home, you're never coming back. What?

Yeah. Yeah. You can't come back if you're undocumented. If you leave, you can't come back to the States. And so yeah, hide and hide. Yeah. It's like a really fucked up hide and seek where there is no seek. In fact, that's yeah. What is that? What is that game?

Hide and hide. Nobody ever comes to look for you. You know, I played. Oh yeah, they are looking. Did anyone play hide and seek with you? Oh, they didn't. Oh, that's so sad. I was just telling you about my undocumented story.

What happened? Nobody. Let me tell you. Did you What happened? Nobody. Let me tell you. Did you play tag? Nobody. No, I, they would tell me to go hide. Big sister told me to go hide and then they never, you just sit there and hide the whole time and then we find you.

Yes. Thank you. So then what you would be like, what the sun would set and then you would be like, you would be like, you would get up from your hiding spot. Eventually just sort of give up and that someone else likes you and will play with you. Dang, yeah. No, I guess that is sad too.

That is sad. That's very sad. We're not going to diminish your trauma. Not on this show, we're not. I mean, even though she was undocumented, a mom with schizophrenia, kidnapping. No, no problem. Yeah. No, that's no, no, no, no. No. What other? She was caged. You were caged? We don't have to talk about it. You were caged? It was gated. It's fine. Wait, will you tell us about the Philippines? No, that's a big deal. What do you mean, like a zoo? Like animals at a zoo?

Like gated, yeah. You were like, um, Sybil? Do you remember that movie? What? Why does it sound familiar? There's a movie called Sybil where she has like, it was a true story about a woman with like multiple personality disorder. And psychiatrists had worked with her closely because they were like, this is like such a new case we haven't seen before. But anyway, it's because she was abused and like, maybe gated. Oh, okay. Chained. You know what movie that was so fucked up that my parents watched in front of me,

but like gave no parental restrictions? Hmm. I think it was called Boxing Helena. But I remember a scene where there was like a shrine, a shrine of like her body parts, like amputated. What? What are you saying? Yeah, like she, just her torso.

Okay. Oh, just her torso. Okay. What is this, Kaila? Why are there movies that only you know? These are my childhood classics. Do you think Disney was in my life? Okay, boxing Helena. Yeah.

So she's just her torso exists and her parents. So it's no arms, just her torso and her head. And I think he treated her like a shrine is how my childhood recollection gives it to me. Okay. But yeah, this was a... I'm starting to like it. I'm starting to like it a lot. Right.

She's like, can that be me? And again, remember earlier when I was like, you can do these things. You can do all the things. It's not like we're going, Oh, I wish I could get million dollars tomorrow. That's hard to do. But if you want to be Helena, is it illegal to cut off your own limbs? Oh, I don't know. I think yes. Self-harm is,arm will put you at 51-50 hold.

That's true. Yeah, I mean, it was illegal for me as a teenager to, like, hurt myself. So, yeah, they lock you up for that. Right, okay. For legal reasons, this is a joke. Everything is a parody. This became, right, yeah. Dark, low fast.

Hey, we were trying to... Me and her, we're talking about hide and seek. You brought up boxing hell and all. Yeah, that was you you did this to us. It's another yeah. Is it? Yeah, um Classic filipino movie classic filipino love story boxing helena Classic soap opera. It's so funny what movies made its way over there and what didn't you know, like oh, yeah For example, like I think you guys, like what's the Polly Shore movie with Brendan Fraser, California Man, right?

Or Encino Man. California Man. That's why it was named for us. Cause do you think Filipinos know what an Encino is? No. No, so it had to be renamed when it got released in the theater, so California Man. Cause we know what a California is,

but we don't know what an Encino is. Wow. That's so true. I think about that when I tour internationally with my jokes. You know? Oh yeah, how do you adjust, by the way, when like you just did a whole tour in like Southeast Asia? And I know like the Philippines is like, obviously like an English speaking country, but like anywhere else, like how do you adjust?

I didn't really have to change my hour at all. Really? Which was cool. Because they're super tapped into culture too, now internationally. And I don't typically, I try not to write jokes that are so specific. Like, you know, you don't wanna ever do a joke.

Well, for me, I don't try to do jokes where it's like, you know, that's so Silver Lake or, you know, oh, this Echo Park bitch walked up to me. I don't do that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because it's so, so you want what? 400 people to get your joke? You know what I mean?

Or however many, I'm sorry, I don't know. I think Echo Park population is higher than that. But you know what I mean? Yeah, you just want it to be, like I used to have a joke where like the punchline was Agora Hills, but it's so specific. You know what I mean? So I changed it to something else.

That's also the essence of the joke. Right, it can be hard though, because sometimes the specificity is what's funny. Yeah, but then, you know, I'll try to give the example, is that okay? Yeah. So I talked about how, so my grandma got a plot of land to be buried at

and she was like planning ahead, which is fine. I just thought we'd do it together considering I'm the one that's going to be doing the visiting. You know, right? Like- Or the burying. Yeah. And I said, is it far? You know, is there, is there parking?

You know, because I'm going to be there every week, right? So that's what I changed it to. But in the past, it was, in the past, it was my grandma just bought a plot of land to be buried at, which is fine. I just thought we'd do it together, you know, considering I'm the one that's going to be doing the visiting. Because because it's in Agora Hills. I see. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, what's that like? People passed L.A. won't know.

But the essence is it's going gonna be an inconvenience to me. Is it far? Is there parking? Boom, already like gets to the same. So you don't even need the Aguero Hills. Yeah, that is really funny. That way, right, Filipinos get it. People in Japan get it.

This is a really important topic though. Aguero Hills. Yeah, why do people live there? No, I'm just kidding. No, but yes. But the idea that, like, you know, preparing your plot and where you want to be buried is really sort of, like, it should be a family decision, like you said. Like, it should be...

You're so right. Your family should be given... They should give the green light and be like, okay, yeah, like, I can do that. I can visit you. It's not too far away. Like, okay, yeah, I can do that. I can visit you. It's not too far away. I think it shouldn't be just that I wanna be planted as a tree.

It's like, no, is that convenient for your family? This is so real for me in my life because my parents are gonna be buried in a cemetery in Chicago in a really bad neighborhood. I'm like, if I go visit them. When did they decide that? They had the plots, because it's where my grandparents are buried.

Okay, I have a question about that. Do you guys do it like our family? They're gonna pull out my grandparents and take that? No. No, in my family, we just do, we just go real deep, and then we just add the bodies on top. I'm not kidding. So it's a mountain?

Yeah, it's like a mound of bodies. Is that way you guys? That's how my, yeah, my grandpa's side is buried. Yeah. Yeah. So are they on top of existing family members or? I don't know. I don't know if that's legal in the United States. Yeah, that feels like, well, like a dog pile. Just like a like a fun, like after football kind of thing.

Do you think it's kind of messed up that in America you can't bury people in your backyard? I think so. I would like, that would be convenient. I think it's definitely a weird like LA, like US like health hazard issue or you know. What's the health hazard? We're all compostable, aren't we?

Only like if you own, right? Even if you own or something, you can't? No. Okay. Yeah. I think you will be investigated if you do. Yeah. That's true. Looks a little sketch in America,

but it's like, you know, are you allowed to bury your own dogs in your backyard, right? I don't know. Here's the thing, in this economy, right? It's a scam. Yeah, the funeral, big funeral is a scam. Yes, the cough and the buying of the plot, you know, the land.

It's so expensive. Your own backyard? You already paid mortgage? You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, just, it's so easy. That's your family member? It's so weird how we don't have ownership of our deceased. I know, it sucks. And they don't have ownership of our disease. I know it sucks.

And they don't have ownership of themselves either. We all just belong to the government. Wow. Or Agoura Hills. Wherever that is. Are you thinking of getting a place in Agoura Hills? No, but I was like, I've never, we've never been there. But here's the thing, right?

Like depending on your income and stuff, you are maybe, you know, I don't know how your grandparents were, how they settled in that place in Chicago. And now your parents are going to out of honor, respect, out of family lineage maybe things just out of convenience because they have this, they have the plot. Your grandparents didn't know how the neighborhood would change exactly to be worse or whatever. True. Right. And so it yeah, it's this thing, depending on your income, my grandma ended up in Agorahills. She said, hey, it was cheap. You know, she said, I said, oh, of course, because even in your afterlife, you know, you were thinking about a discount, you know, because, yeah. She can truly rest in peace.

100%. But can I? Because I have to drive to a place. That's the thing, most of us have to lay our heads or whatever it's called, be buried in places we never even spent time at or have no memories of. It is my absolute fantasy in life to have a reason to exhume someone. But didn't we have plans?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't what? I thought we had plans to exhume someone. I didn't we have plans? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't what? I thought we had plans to exhume someone. I have a great plan for us. Esther says shit, I just know. And she's like, the way she giggled at me, I'm like, you're not a serious person. You are not serious.

What do you mean? No, cause you would say things like, my dream is to exude... What is it? What did you say? Exume. Have a reason to exude a person. Yeah. Doesn't that sound funny? And then you looked at me and you giggled. Because you know, is that an actual dream of yours?

Yeah. Just like you want to grow old and hold a plastic baby? Are these serious thoughts? Esther! Am I your enabler? Because every time you say something crazy, I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's make a plan. Don't we have a plan in place? And I'm like, I drove to Ventura Hills or wherever I am. Where am I? Ventura City? We don't want you to know where you are.

I like how you actually, she is an enabler. She's telling me to get my baby doll now. Yeah, because you can. Yeah. I guess that's true. Why, why the- I want you to try it. Why, why do you want to exhume?

What's the thrill there? Don't you think that like, that's the highest level of- Crime? No. Like a dramatic need. It's like, something... It just got sad. You must be so important if you need to exhume a body. I think that that's how I'll finally feel important in life.

Wait a second. So if you were to exhume one person in history and to investigate the remnants of their decaying body, who would it be? I think I would exhume my grandparents. Because I never met them, and I'd just like to see what... You wanna shake their hand? I just wanna see what they're wearing. Is any of their stuff in there that I can have?

Oh, see, okay, that's fun. Because nothing was passed down to her. Yeah. Oh, wow. And do you think they were buried with the things? I don't know. Knowing my dad, he's very economical. So I have a feeling he didn't bury them with anything too valuable.

But in his grief, there is a chance that he... that his grief overpowered his cheapness, and maybe he gave them something. This is so funny to me. and maybe he gave them something. This is so funny. What? Me. Because what if you go through all of that

and find nothing? Wouldn't you be doubly heartbroken? It would certainly be... We found nothing. Nothing left to you, not even a nice little dress or... And now you're just a creepy girl with her grandpa's bones. Oh, you can use it as like a punch mixer. Also hours of work.

I also wonder like... You with a shovel? I wonder, do you, thank you. Do you need like legal reasons? Like do I have to create a fake murder mystery in order to get the rights? There's only one way to find out. Why don't you start digging?

And if someone says something, let's, you know, then we'll find out. I'm going to seduce a grave digger and I'm going to make this happen. Wait, didn't you befriend like a cemetery keeper? I've done it before, yeah. But that was to get a special look at, so speaking of exhumed.

Special look at a premiere happening at the gravesite. Literally, yeah. They moved Judy Garland from the East Coast to Hollywood. And so this gravedigger, cemetery keeper, groundskeeper, he took me on a private tour and took me into Judy Garland's little area before before it was ready for the public. Wow. Yeah. And you were just friends? This feels like foreplay. This is just friendship? Playtonic?

We stayed friends only. Yeah, we didn't take it further. I'm so not good with... If someone shows me kindness like that, I will. I'll be like, I guess we go down on each other now. It's really... Yeah, that's why I stay away. And I'm like, I guess we go down on each other now. It's really, yeah, that's why I stay away. And I'm like, no, everyone, no, everyone has bad intentions.

Everyone just wants to fuck me. And, you know, that way I can just stay friends with them. Yeah. Yeah. It's very. That's stable. Well, it's almost like advanced technique. Advanced technique? Yeah. What is advanced technique? It's just you're sort of just gaslighting yourself in the whole world so that you don't

fuck anyone or you don't make mistakes. You know, you're really just protecting yourself, I think. Yeah, I think it's a part of being a people pleaser a little bit. Yeah, I get that. Right? Yeah. I'm like 100% people pleaser, although the whole sex thing is just that like, I get that. Right? Yeah. I'm like 100% people pleaser. Although the whole sex thing is just that like, I'm so grossed out by too many... Sex?

Not sex. Not sex. I'm just so, I get icked out by too many people, I think. That I could never just like blow a groundskeeper. Wait, what do you... I thought we were blowing a groundskeeper. 100%, but you are not attracted to most people, is that what you're saying?

Or just like- I mean, am I lying? Because I really lying. Yeah, I think you're lying. I got a senior roster. They're weird looking, right? Yeah. But when I, on it, Kaila kind of looked me in the eyes,

the groundskeeper was hot. Was he? You are wrong. Yeah, you're thinking the wrong thing. You're right. This man is strong. Good taste. Judy Garland. Yeah, loves comedians.

Okay. Female comedians. Wow. I take that back. A man who loves female comedians. Unheard of. I take that back. I will fuck anyone. Thank you. Go to rocketRx.com and enter code trash Tuesday at checkout for 20% off your first order. Have you ever experienced erectile dysfunction?

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dick, all of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your exes are like, why'd you have to say that? They have, they're sitting there guessing which one they are. They're like, oh, short, whoa, hmm. Tall, oh, big dick, hmm. No, I don't know. Yeah, anyway. That's what I would be doing.

We recently, in a previous episode, we talked about this one specific crime up in like Northern California that happened where a girl was able to convince an old ex of hers to basically fake a full kidnapping, full like torture abuse scenario. Do you have anyone in your life who would do anything for you at the drop of a hat with one phone call?

Oh no. Do you? I don't think it's good to have people like that in your life. You don't? Just like a blindly yes man. Yes. That's how you become a monster. You don't think that it's like valuable, like to some extent to be like,

I know someone who would like kill for me. Just one. Just one. No, no, no, no. Even my husband who does everything for me, he, what did he do for me? He put my earrings in for me today because I couldn't, the back is too short.

He made that turkey wrap that I brought, the half of it, because he was like, you're famished. And even him, he would watch me go to prison. He would do that, because he's like, I'm not gonna exhume a body for you or whatever. He would stop at certain things. And I think that's good. And I think you're wrong about this.

What, do you? You have people? Yeah, there's this guy named James Reyes and he's the guy who committed that crime of faking a whole kidnapping slash torture thing. And he did it blindly and he did it for no exchange. Like he didn't even get sex from this woman. It was his ex girlfriend. And she was just like, hey, stage of kidnapping for me. He was like, let's do it, babe. and I think Kailila has like at least four exes that would do that for her Wow I think they're sitting around waiting for her to call and be help her and I've ate her in a crime which basically means I've only dated psychopaths yeah yeah yeah well I mean it's more of it's not a psychopath guy that does that it's more of like a chill guy no it's more of, it's not a psychopath guy that does that, it's more of like a chill guy. No, it's, I think you're wrong about that, okay? Like a chill, like a real chill. So chill. He's like not all there, like, you know.

Yeah, wait, let's, let's reclaim chill, because you know the chill girl, it's like everyone wants, or I guess it's a cool girl, but chill too, like, guys want girls to be chill, I think we should want guys to be chill. And that means that they will commit crimes for us. I'd like that. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, I need to go. No, I'm listening. I'm, this is me, yes, ending.

I'm thinking of the next thing to say about these four men. Is it true that you didn't do laundry for like years and like then you realized you weren't doing laundry because your husband did it? How do you know that? I'm well read It's true. Yes, that's part of my new show actually that I'm gonna I'm talking about and it's very much about like me and my husband And and and like me trying to create a better sequel to my family, you know, with this new family, which is just me and my husband. Yeah, he's very much, like I said, he put on my earrings, he made the, you know, sandwich for me.

He very much thinks ahead of, you know, me with my needs, because I won't, you know, I don't think about what I need as much. Yeah, but he will. And so I won't do the know, I don't think about what I need as much. Yeah, but he will. And so I won't do the laundry and I'll be like, oh, no, for seven years, you know. And then realize, oh, my God, like this whole time I thought it was getting magically done, it had been Ryan. And so, yes, things like that happen. Did your grandma take really good care of you and is that why you like?

Yeah, yeah, I'm like this. Mm-hmm. Yeah, she's very she's like very overly like babied me Mm-hmm, and so she didn't teach me chores. I can relate to this but also my mom her Psychosis her like Her psychoses, her like paranoias had to also do with me growing up too much or losing me to like the world. And so she would also stop me from learning chores and adulthood stuff too. Yeah. Is it true that you did stand up comedy during a 7.9 earthquake? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. In earthquake? Yes, yeah, yeah.

In Pasadena. At the ice house. Really? 7.2. Yeah, 7.2 magnitude. What happened? Is that the one that was a huge one in the desert that like lasted like a whole like minute and a half? Maybe. It's the one where, so this was 2019, it's the one where the day before there was an earthquake,

and then the day after, it remember July 4th and July 5th Yes, I remember. Yeah, that was a bit. Those were big ones. Oh, I was out of town for that I remember that happening though. You do. Yeah It's long enough that you could get on a phone with someone and be like, okay, it's still going it's still going You and you were shaking. Yeah, would you stay on stage Esther if that was you? Or would you I would run and hide run and hide. Yeah, I would be pretty quick to run and hide what did you do you just run and you love hiding my nature did you have to stop your set I ran up on stage and I was kind of like dancing and then everyone was screaming and I was like oh

they love my dancing and then only to realize it was screams of terror. And they were like, oh, I hate my dancing. Yeah, I was like, what? They were like, oh, and they were like, earthquake, earthquake. And, you know, that's when I realized what was happening. I like stood still and I felt the whole place moving. And then so I just kind of I made sure everyone was OK. But I was also

trying to like be funny at the same time. Kind of like trying to call out to the house manager. Made eyes with the house manager actually. And then he shrugged and then took off. And so I was left with 200 people that were suddenly looking to me for guidance. I went to art school. You know what I mean? I was like, I have no skills. I truly have been fired from every other job I've had. But now I'm the one with the microphone.

I was Moses. You know what I mean? And they were like, what do we do? And I was like, I don't know, jokes. And so, but anyway, so yeah, after I calmed everyone down, I went straight back into my my set but I Think right like our true selves come out in scary moments, right? It's like are you gonna run away?

Do you I don't get horny. I don't know Really she was she was very adamant it was you. But behind your back. But right, yeah. And so I think it's just like culminating moments of everything in your upbringing, right? That's just what hit. The, you know, being undocumented, having a schizophrenic mom, all of it.

It was kind of training for moments like that, I think. Was the people pleasing thing coming out at all or no? Like, were you trying to like... Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, 100%. To people please during an earthquake is...

That's true. That's true. Right, yeah. I could see Kalala doing that. Yeah, you know, so I had a spin out on the 15 freeway on the way to Vegas, where my best friend was driving a little too fast and we spun out and then we were basically going backwards on the freeway with a semi truck coming our way.

And she said my reaction was insane. What did you do? Insane. She was like screaming at the top of her lungs and apparently I was really locked in and I was like, hey, it's gonna be okay. Oh my God. So not horny, not horny.

Not horny. I don't know, the way she put her hand on my shoulder, that was a move. Right, she was like, hey, you ever think. You and I? While you're sleeping, yeah. You're spinning, you're spinning out of control. You ever?

So she was like, that was the weirdest reaction to such like an extreme moment. And I'm like, oh, it's so funny. Cause like I run anxious. I'm somebody who just always thinks there's like a predator coming around the corner. So maybe when there's something finally bad, you're like, oh, thank God.

No, it's really true. I'm very good at emergencies. If there's something like really critical happening, my mind slows down and I can really be helpful in that moment. But everyday life, no. That's how my childhood best friend is. When we were in middle school,

I think I've told this story before, but we were driving to Burger King to get Cinnamanis for breakfast. Her grandma was driving us and then the car flipped over. Oh, God. And I was screaming, I was like so scared, because I was upside down, but I was like stuck in with my seatbelt.

My friend. With an empty stomach. Exactly. No cinnamonies yet. And you better believe we didn't make it in time for the cutoff. Oh, my God. Because of this damn car accident. But my best friend, she just opened the car door,

literally just walked out of the car, reached in, unbuckled me, and that was it. Like she was so calm. I wonder if there's like a... Yeah, there's definitely a correlation in what you were saying, just like, you know when you've just been through it all and it fucks you up in your day-to-day life,

but when it matters, it's like, that's when you can like perform. That's what I'm gonna tell my husband next time. He's like, you don't know how to work the dishwasher? I'm gonna be like, hey, in an emergency, I will be able to- Watch me get your back.

Is there, are you sponsored? By Banana? No. I wish. Dang. Come at me Chiquita. What jobs have you had where you look back at now and you're like, what was I thinking? Why did I ever think I could do that? I did teach community college.

Oh. Yeah. I taught cinema. You know, so many people's lives and education in my hands. You know, it's just kind of like when an earthquake hit and 200 people, lost souls, were looking into me. My eyes, what do we do? What do we do, leader? And I was like, I don't know. Sorry, my mom is calling a lot. She has schizophrenia. You can answer. Oh No, it's gonna be too much probably.

Your mom. Yes. What's your relationship with her like now? Like how do you, what's it like growing up? When you were younger, did you see her as someone who needed help or you were like, oh, there's something wrong with mom? Or did you ever clock that as a kid?

Yeah, I was, I was scared of her. So I didn't really like get too close to her. And she was just like the scary being because she would throw temper tantrums and, you know, sometimes throw things, scream and, you know, yell and everything was, her mood shifts were scary. The mood swings were scary. So I just kind of, yeah, I wouldn't like get close to her. What was your grandma's view of your mom? Like was, were they good or? My grandma was always my mom's caretaker. And so she still kind of looks after my mom too.

And yeah, so my grandma would deal with it better than I would, in that she would at least entertain her thoughts or try to calm her down or clean up the plates she threw or whatever, you know? And then cook dinner for her and wash her hair, things like that. And so yeah, it was very like,

this is my daughter, I'm still gonna take care of her. Does your grandma have any openings? To, yeah, for, yes. What you're explaining sounds- For little cuties. Really nice. Such as yourself. No, I know, she's very nice.

You really do yearn for grandma love. Yeah, or- I do feel sad for you in that way. Yeah, but do you have grandma love? I had grandma love until I was, until I left for the United States. Yeah, my mom's mom was the absolute most angelic thing to ever walk the planet,

and I felt a lot of love from her. But we do have a couple questions from our fans that we want to get through today. So one of our listeners asks, how do I meet a boy in real life? She's in her early 20s and dating apps are a joke, which we all agree with. Yeah, how would we tell someone in their 20s to meet a guy?

Do we have advice for that? As someone with no interest, people always, always tell me, do you have no interest too? Yes, I have no hobbies, no interests. Yes. So that is- No culture, no taste. It's kind of an issue. It's kind of an issue to find, because I'm always like, how do you make new friends as an adult?

No, what do you do with your free time if you don't need something from Target? There's nothing to do. Yeah, I kind of, I drink alcohol and then I like socialize. I like talking to people. I like people But I don't care for activity You know what? I mean, I can get to know you like this. We don't need to be on a incline Walking high higher higher higher and then I get dizzy. Oh, no, where am I? Oh On top of Los Feliz. I didn't really care for that. Yeah, then I'm not really I'm sweating My eyesight's going.

I'm not connecting with you anymore. Anyway, as someone with no interest, people always tell me if you wanna meet someone, you gotta join like a meetup, you know, find an interest, go to trivia night, things like this. So if you're passionate about something, if this person is passionate about something, you know, that's one way to meet people

who are also passionate about the same thing, and then you can go from there. Okay, wait, side note, you just made me think of something that I've been too embarrassed to bring up on this podcast because it makes me sound like such an old lady, but because you said that, you know, if you're on a hike, it's going to distract you from getting to know the person talking.

I can, I have two modes. I can either be listening to music or I can be talking to people. I cannot focus on a person in a conversation if music is playing in the background. I can't, like we're driving, Dave puts music on, I'm like, well, we can't hang out. I 100% am on your side. It's too distracting. like we're driving, Dave puts music on, I'm like, well then we can't hang out.

A hundred percent I'm on your side. It's too distracting. I can't even do a task or like do homework or get into anything with music in the background because if I'm listening to music, I'm really listening. Right. Like I'm really a part of the experience of that playlist. I can't passively listen.

And if I hear like a familiar melody, I'm in that melody. I'm celebrating. I can't multitask like that either. I know, who are these people that they go out, the music is playing, they're talking. That is a nightmare to me. It's just too distracting. Do you have-

I agree, yeah. That's so true. If you ever need to have a deep conversation and you wanna be out, go to a Chinese restaurant. They play no music there. They make sure they're not about vibe. No vibe.

I want quiet silence. Wait, that's so opposite of like any Korean restaurants because they really come out with like all the bangers, I think. Oh, yeah. And really loud music too. Yes, the whole time. Yeah. The Chinese restaurant, no think. Oh, yeah, 100%. And really loud music, too. Yes, the whole time. They're, yeah. The Chinese restaurant, no music. There's no music. Just food. But see, I'll be hanging out with people.

They're not on this page. They're like, why do you want it so quiet? They're like, you're creepy. You want it so quiet. Like, people need background noise. Oh, I'm sorry, I want to be present in the moment. Yeah.

In a life that's short. Yeah. But what would we say to this person? Like, I actually saw something, I think that, I don't know where this was, but where someone said, go to a bar and bring a book and sit in the corner and read. And I was like, that's a little insane, but. This sounds like a scene of a movie that I hate. Like, that doesn't sound like a realistic thing.

To meet someone to do that, yeah. I feel like if you're in your 20s, like, work, wherever you work, wherever, like, your commute, it's just by chance, right? I don't think the correct mindset in your 20s is, I'm actively seeking a mate. Like, I think that gets in the way. Yeah, it does. I don't think the correct mindset in your 20s is I'm actively seeking a mate. Like I think that gets in the way. Yeah, it does.

Of finding someone in the wild. I think the more like of a recluse you are like me, the more I'm like, I don't want to socialize, the more they kind of gravitate towards my lack of wanting to date. It is true. I feel it's such a tricky subject though because it's slim pickings out there and I feel like people are struggling. I don't agree. You don't agree.

I don't agree at all. Maybe in that age group it's a little bit strange and maybe this new, you know, generation of young males are in trouble a little bit according to Professor Scott Galloway. Exactly. So I do believe in the 20s, but like, when I broke up with Bobby after 10 years, I was like, okay, I want to be alone. But never did I ever doubt that I could find a mate, that I would be attractive to someone, that I could find someone to have a life.

I never was worried about, oh, I'm now in my late 30s and he took my firm skin years and et cetera, et cetera. People will kind of fear monger you into thinking like, oh. Firm skin years. Firm skin years. That's my first time hearing that. I'm like, whoa, okay, yeah, that is a thing we have, I guess.

And I gave 10 years of firm skin years to him. And they always fear monger, it's like, oh, I'm newly out of this and I have to start over. There was no feeling of I gotta start over. I was like, no, like, I like myself. Like, it took a while to get there, but I never doubted that I was going to still be attractive

and meet people. I love this take. And it's reminding me of my 96-year-old aunt who has a boyfriend. Like the women in my family, their husbands die and they just move, they move right on and they find someone and they date in their elder years. So I think you're right, there is fear mongering

and it's bullshit, it's not real. And your mindset is the one that we all need to take on. I think it's good. Mine's the opposite. So I'm fearful I'm gonna be alone until forever and that there's no one out there and that my days are behind me and I'm gonna be an old maid.

But there's a difference though. Not to bring it down. No, I love that you're sharing this because it's hilarious because you're so young and pretty. And like, what do we say to her? You got your young skin years. Yeah. You're in your young and pretty. And like, what do we say to her? You got your young skin years. Yeah. You're in your young skin years.

Still nice and firm and bouncy. I wish I had, and I have, this is very good for me, and I have learned from you. I wish I had that attitude, but I like, I mean, Guy's seen it before and Ariel and they've said things to me like, you'll be fine, but it does feel like forever. But I do think that my confidence in knowing that

comes from feeling really good alone, which took a while. I wasn't good by myself for a long time, but when that relationship ended and I finally came to a place of being like, oh, I'm fine alone, I'm happy alone, I can entertain myself alone and being alone doesn't suck. That's when I was like, oh, like I now, there's nothing to fear. If I'm okay in this way, like if I meet someone, great.

If I don't, then I don't. But I think it stems from that maybe. Absolutely. What do you do when you're alone is my question. Oh, so many things. Oh my God, I would love to be alone right now. You all leave the room. What do you do alone you're alone is my question. Oh, so many things. Oh my God, I would love to be alone right now. You all leave the room. What do you do?

I have issues with that. Yeah, I have issues with that. The thoughts in my head? No. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is hard. It took me a long time and a lot of therapy because before I couldn't even sleep in my bed. If Bobby was on the road, I would have my mom and sister come over and spend the night with me

because I was that terrified of being alone. Yeah, yeah. Just like, oh, it's just me, you know? Yeah. It's creepy. It's you're in your own head. Yes. Yeah. I saw my cousin has a dog that she dropped off at my grandma's house. It's a long story. But my grandma doesn't like the dog in the house, so she keeps it in the garage.

But the dog is very, very, it entertains itself. But I peeked, I was like, how long has he been down there? And she was like, oh, three, four hours. And I was like, okay. And I just decided to peek. He's just staring at the wall. I said, for three, four hours, what is he thinking about? You know what I mean?

Is that kind of you? No, is that how it works? I have no idea. I'm kind of codependent probably with my husband. Not too far off, but I dissociate like a lot. Yeah. And in that like I will just lift off into another realm. Like sometimes I'll just be in bed with a towel. I'll just get out of the shower. I'm still in my towel. And not kidding you, an hour and a half passes by and nothing is done.

No thoughts were had. I'm just like, kind of just like dissociating and it feels so fucking good. Oh wow. Go off queen of dissociation. But apparently it's not healthy. Yeah. Really? Apparently it's like a symptom of like complex PTSD.

But it sounds a little bit like meditation. It sounds a little bit, but it's not, because you're not in your body. Oh, that's even better. Oh my God. Do not have a body? Oh. I thought I just got rid of the limbs,

but the whole body? Yes, boxing Helena. Boxing Helena, thank you parents. Wait, Stella, tell us more about, we have so much to mine from Stella in the coming weeks. What is, how is the dating scene there? Like, are you experiencing this? Is this question written in by you?

Also, I haven't seen Stella in so long. This is how I find out you're no longer with who I- No. Okay. Yeah, I'm broken. Yeah, that's it. You're not broken. I've been in relationships since I was 16. I never No. Okay. Yeah, I'm broken. Yeah, that's over. You're not broken. I've been in relationships since I was 16.

I never experienced dating apps. Situationships are confusing. Wait, did you marry your high school sweetheart? No, I just... Oh, you just jumped. Overlapped. Okay. It's hard for me to cook for myself. It's hard for me to watch a movie by myself.

I just like doing things communally. It's really hard for me to just enjoy doing things by myself. Oh my God. See, I, this is where the invention of podcasts is like, how does that not save you from this? Because I prefer podcasts to people. You can pause them.

Like, it's just like hanging out with your friends, but you can press pause. I make dinner, I listen to podcasts. Like that is, that, doesn't that sound good? Well, I mean, it's hard because I work in podcasting. I see. Do you know what a perfect day of aloneness, maybe you might have some hybrid version of this.

My favorite is when my best friend, my sister come over, we say nothing to each other, we eat a lot, but we're doing like communal bed rotting. But that's not alone. But you're not necessarily engaging in, like, deep philosophical conversation either. Totally. You're just eating bacon and rice

in your own little corners. And then you're just kind of, like, existing together. That's my dream Sunday. I love that too, but I do feel like we're specifically talking about being by yourself. That said, our mutual friend Jenna, like I love a friend where you can just say, don't fucking talk to me. Like, and they'll get it, you know?

But be in my space, but don't talk to me. Just like come over, don't say a word. Is that? Yeah. No, that makes sense. I want that too. And we, you know, that's sense. You. I want that too. And we, you know, that's like, you know, I've reached out with my husband, right?

Where, no, where we could do that. Where we go, oh yeah, we're just sharing space. Kind of like what you described your Sunday to be or your perfect Sunday to be. My dream Sunday, yeah. Right? I think, you know, with like loneliness, there's, I forget, there's like three ways you can feel lonely. You need three things to not feel lonely, right?

And community is one, you know, the sense of community, sense of belonging to like a greater group is one that is very important for people. And then, you know, the companionship with someone and then friendship. I think for me, it's like, if you upkeep friendships, you don't need love or romance in your life. I'm kind of like the against, like not against,

but I'm so tired of rom-coms. I don't like rom-coms. I don't watch them. Me either. I'm like more friendship movies. Like how do you make friends? You know what I mean? That's harder, I think.

Yeah. But I don't think that's helping Stella tragedy. Should we have the single LA male slugs nominate themselves to go on a date with you? Wait, Stella, this should be a thing. I think we should create a weekly segment of potential suitors. No, I would just be really scared that no one would call. No, but hold on. No, you don't get to choose.

Esther and I get to do it. And Atsuko. But yeah, and remember, you don't care anymore., but hold on. No, you don't get to choose. Esther and I get to do it and Atsuko. Yeah, and remember you don't care anymore. You don't care. Remember you don't care anymore. We're doing arranged marriages from now on. You don't get to say anything. Yeah, you don't care anymore. You've been forced to this.

If it happens, it's cool, but not. You're pretty in your 30s. Like people want you. Thank you for saying that. I guess I'm open to trying it. I'm just, my biggest insecurity is that it would, there's no, it would be really sad. And no one...

I really, I have to say, I relate to that so hard. But it's so funny when you see someone else and you're like, you're crazy. But then I know that I would feel the same way. But I'm down. Okay well to be continued. Yeah. I think we're out of time.

Yeah. But this was a delight. Thank you for having me. I learned so much. I'm worried. About you two. I'm really worried about us. Me and you?

Yeah. Specifically and you? Yeah. Specifically, our relationship? I just, I want to know where, I'm curious to see where it's going to go. Yeah. Because I feel like- Me and your friendship? Yeah. I'm worried.

Why are you worried? Because of the plastic baby thing. Oh, the plastic baby thing and how I didn't think you were serious when you were like, oh, I want to exhume a body. But like, it's really, I hate to tell you this. I mean, she's serious about that stuff. No, I believe it now. That's why I yes ended. At the end, I'm gonna give you a hard time,

but you know, I still was like, yeah, I think she would do that. Thank you. I hope that you'll come back sometime. Oh yes, all the time. Okay. However it works. Where can people find you and see more of you?

Oh sorry I blacked out. I was thinking about... I thought for some reason that was going to be the end so I picked up the banana and I was ready to eat it and then and then you're like there's more. You can find me at oddscallcomedy.com. I'm on tour right now. I'm taping my special in LA in November. Oh my gosh. That's exciting. So there's that. If you're in LA and want to come.

And for Disney plus Hulu. And if you're in LA, you want to go see her special taping, you want to date Stella, comment below. 100%. Let us know. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you. You want to sponsor them with Banana.

Chiquita. Chiquita, we're always here waiting for your call. And Sluggy's comment, if you're interested in the Stella dating game and we'll see you next week. Are you open to girls girls and guys? Sure, why not? The answer is yes. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. This is how we just put it. We love our bye queens.

Yes, no bye erasure here.