Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Bears, Babies, Brooke Schofield ft. OutdoorAnthony

Episode Date: March 24, 2026

BTS, BONUS CONTENT AND MORE! Only on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast     Welcome to Trash Tuesday: Survival Edition with Brooke Schofield and Outdoor Anthony(Anthony Porter). Could the girls how to survive in the WILD? We reveal the time Bobby Lee proposed to Khalyla(!?) Plus, real survival skills: how to start a fire, and what to do if you come face-to-face with a coyote…or a bear. How do you wipe in the woods with no toilet paper? Important. psssssst....we learn first aid 101 and Anthony brings out some CRAZY objects on the extended version on Patreon MORE BROOKE:https://www.instagram.com/brookeschofield/ https://www.tiktok.com/@brookeschofield1  MORE ANTHONY: https://www.youtube.com/@UCjxV_MNyK-BPV98ZUYMijjQ  https://www.instagram.com/outdooranthony https://www.anthonyporter.com/  Thank you to our sponsors:Thank you BlueChew! Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code TRASHTUESDAY. www.BlueChew.com  Thank you Monarch! Use code TRASHTUESDAY at www.monarch.com   for half off your first year Thank you SquareSpace! Go to www.squarespace.com/TRASHTUESDAY  and use TRASHTUESDAY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain *Ebb Ocean Club is NOW IN SEPHORA* https://www.sephora.com/brand/ebb-ocean-club for Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products!*Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com  FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday  MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/  MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A   PRODUCTION:Studio Ten42: https://www.instagram.com/studioten42/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Arielle Jade (Editor): https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ Elisa Hernandez Kohler: https://www.instagram.com/ellie.lianna/ Megan Clements:  https://www.instagram.com/egggymeg/ 

Do you do like survival lessons? Yeah. So a lot of it has to do with like how to hand whistle outside. Like you could do that. Stop. Oh my God. That was so exciting. This is where I'm, I don't know how to whistle even plainly.

I don't even know how to wink. I can't wink either. Can't wink? No. What's new with you? What's going on? Because you've been off the air. I have been.

I've officially been off the air for like three and a half months. Actually, I came on here more recently than I came on. or then I was on canceled. Because I think our last episode that we all shot together was after the last episode. That's right. Are you having withdrawals? Are you feeling like you want to? No, I'm not at all.

I like I miss it definitely. Like I love to have like a long form situation. But I am so no one's been mean to me in so long. We need to change that. No, seriously like every single day I used to wake up my like and open my phone and it was just like my heart would sink. and now every single time I open my phone, it's just like, it's silent. You've since started a shit posting account. I did.

You literally just responded like I told you you're pregnant. I am. It's because I like at what point is it like I'm my main account, like the videos that I was posting, the quality was just like if I were any sort of brand, I would be like, we're not working with this girl. Really? Because I'm actually anti-posting account. I know.

Like I love. that you have it and you have this safe space, but I do wish that people would just do it all in one place because if we like you, we like you and we want to see it all. Yeah, but I want brands to like me. I don't care about you. Yeah, I feel like you're a very like you're a different story. Like you are, everyone knows you just, you know. A permanent post. No, you're, you're so painfully harmless. Like she's so harmless. Like you can't, and she also looks like a child. Like you can't be mad at her for longer than in like 22nd. Look is too pretty to like...

You're too hot. Stop. You are also very pretty, but you know, you have like the essence of like a, you know... Ugly little boy. No, you're like a kutzy little girl. Thank you. Also, I'm so obsessed with your... Every single time you post your daughter, I like have a stroke.

She's so cute. That's so nice. And she could not be more identical to you. Like, you guys... I know my husband. been though she's him here i do see dave now as she's gone older i do see like a mix of you both she's like exactly copy paste him here and copy paste me here i love that i love her so much but her eye color is yours no she's like in between because he's brown and i'm like i don't know what i am i say i'm gray

but that's a lie for attention yeah that's such like a me oh wait so okay so you so you moved into a new home, you're engaged, you're not having a wedding. I am having a wedding and it's just only him and I are going to be there. So we're all open. That's what we did. Gosh, that's how to do it. I really, really feel like that's the only route I could do. And you're doing it before you have a baby.

And like us, so we just had to like race back home to our baby and we didn't get to stay overnight. Really? Wait, how long before you got married did you have your baby? So we were engaged for a while and I was just like lazy about that. And then we had our baby. and then I was like, we have to get married. Like, this is, we have to be a family.

And so I just decided that six months, I wanted to get married on her like six month birthday. So we just picked that day and we just, we were walk-ins at the courthouse. Like, we didn't even have an appointment. Really? Yeah, we just walked in. And it worked out.

It was really, like, we just waited in line. Like, it was pretty chill, guys. I do think that that's a very specific window of time. Like, right after you give birth and the first six months, I think your brain does something to you where you think we have to get married. Because I felt the same way, but then I'm like, I wrote it out. So now I'm like past the year and I don't feel as strongly. You don't?

No, but I know that feeling of like, we have to be a family. You cannot die. Like, we have to figure this unit out. No, we had that moment, like honestly, a couple weeks ago because I haven't been excited about getting married. Like, not that I'm not excited to marry him, but I just am so uninterested in the actual act of being married. That's how I was too before.

But a couple weeks ago, we were just like, let's just go do it. So we made our appointment. But our appointment, we had to make it in advance. I didn't even know you could walk in. It's so hard to get an appointment. Do you think, because I feel like you actually are into babies. Like, is that going to happen soon? Are you going to wait?

I hope it's going to happen soon. Honestly. Oh, my God. I know. I feel like last time I talked to you guys, I was like, no, babies are far away. I don't know what happened between then and now. I think a ton of my friends started having babies in a row. And every time I was around one, I was like, I could have one of these.

And so now I feel differently about it. It's so contagious. It is contagious. Now I'm like, now that I'm reading and stuff, it's like kind of hard to get pregnant. Don't buy into that mindset yet. Because you have no reason to believe otherwise, right? Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

So I would say don't borrow the bad news until you give it a good. It's a loud conversation for a good reason. Like, I'm really glad that women talk about that a lot. Like, I think it's like the best thing. But it doesn't mean that it's everyone and it doesn't mean that it's like majority even, you know? I guess I just, you know, your whole life, they tell you like, it's so you can get pregnant anytime. And I didn't realize it was like such a tiny little window that you have. Small window. Yeah, which makes it even cooler that you like, when you get it right. You're like, whoa,

we did that. Nailed it. Yeah. Yeah. So I, I would honestly, I know I want to have a baby this year. What? Do you hear this? Oh my God. Oh my God. I thought maybe within five years was like, no. I want to be, Now that I know this year. Well, it's like, you know, when you like decide you want to change your hair and it's like, it's not enough to get it done two months from now, like I have to go tomorrow. That's how you feel about it. As soon as I decided like, I could do this. I was like, well, we have to go right now.

By the way, kind of great timing because I always think your pregnancy timeline is great. You hit your third trimester in the winter. So you're not like, I made the mistake. I gave birth when it was the hottest summer in California. California and I was a cow and I it was like walking through molasses. Don't do that. Don't do my timeline. I just want to say trying to control the timeline. True, true. It's a foolish game that I played that didn't, I didn't win and any time is good. No, but I would be lying if I said that I hadn't thought about it because I thought about I really want. I would love to be like,

like have a big belly in this summer so that I could like be like be. in a bikini with a big belly. Yeah. Everyone's like, oh, that's so cute. But like, if you just gave birth and you're in a bikini, you just feel bad. Yeah. But, like, also, who cares? I don't own a bikini, so I'm fine.

I'm safe, marked safe from bikini. I was in a bikini up until the very end and can't say, you know what? Felt okay. Really? I felt pretty, like, cute in it. Took pictures. And I look back now and I'm like, I'm so glad I was in the bikini. That's what I'm thinking.

I just think a bump is, like, the. cutest thing ever like you look so cute i think so too you i would think this if i wasn't pregnant but because i'm pregnant and miserable and like you guys are disgusting like this is awful you telling me your eight months is insane i mean i guess you're of course like really tiny but like that's insane it looks it's not big like it's i mean there's a baby there is a baby but like i feel like you'll just do you have a gender preference of course i do no offense. I know people get really worked up about it, but I don't give a shit when people are like, hey, you want what you want. I don't care. Yeah. Only because I have a name for a girl and I don't

have a name for a boy. That is a real thing though. Naming a boy was the hardest thing ever. I didn't, my baby didn't have a name for two days. Really? Wait, I didn't know that. Yeah, it was a baby boy. Because I couldn't, I'm like, I can't. And then one day I woke up and I was like, oh, I think this is him. Like, and then I cried and it felt like him. I held him. I'm like, this is who he is. Oh, that's special. It's not. It's not. It's not. It's I used to like meet him before you gave him a name because what have you give him a name and you're like this is not a carl. I'm having, you know, I'm having a boy. I know. But you, that's so good. You'll have one of each. That's what people say, but you know you don't mean it. I mean it. No, I think a lot of my friends are boy moms and they love it. I just, I'm afraid. I don't know. I just, I want a girl so bad.

Yeah. I didn't have a preference because I didn't think about it because my first pregnancy was a miscarriage. So my second, I was just so angry. that I was going to lose a pregnancy that I didn't think about gender once. But when I got the call that it was a girl, I was like, oh, yes, life makes sense. And then when I found out this was a boy, I was like, there's been a mistake. No, it's going to be so exciting. You're going to love it. I think I just, I crave like a mother-daughter dynamic so much that I just want a girl for that reason. Were you disappointed when you got the news of the gender?

No. I was so sick and vomiting every hour. that I didn't care about anything. Is there a difference? People say there's like you get sicker with one or the other. You know, sick all around. I was in hell for both. Really?

Yeah. That's everything is a lie. Everything here is a lie. I'll say that. There are women that just really power through pregnancy with no symptoms and I suspect you'll be one of them. I don't. Uh-uh.

I fall victims to everything. I'm so curious because she's young. I'm going to put you guys in a tank. You guys will be the first to know. I feel like you're a tank, though. I feel like you could just, you would just, uh-uh, I can't power through. I'm a complainer. I complain about everything all day long. But some women like feel good. Really? Yeah. So you could, it's actually the best indicator is if you know how your mom handled pregnancy. I don't know much about that.

That didn't, that wasn't true for me because my mom experienced zero nausea like nothing. And I, she was so much younger than she was. We had a 20 year age difference. So I think that's, that's huge. I felt really good mentally. Like I felt like I was in control, that I was invincible, but my body didn't follow necessarily. But I was like, oh, I like the way I was telling my therapist of like, if they could just like figure out what this concoction is and then give that to me after pregnancy, I think I would be a happy person forever. That's so interesting. That's what I worry about a lot because I'm already a little like crooked in the brain. Hell yeah.

We're not on this. Funny brains for no reason. 100%. I don't know. I'm hopeful. Wait, okay. I have a question about, actually, like, about engagement rings because you're engaged. You're like in a pretty serious relationship. DDP, domestic partnership. Yeah. It feels like it's so awkward. Like there's so much potential for an awkwardness of like the ring being acquired because, like, is he going to get what you like?

What if you hate it? Because I was just like listening to this girl talk about this and she's like, I know he's getting the wrong thing and I don't know what to do. Like I want this to be a ring I like. And it's not going to be. And she like literally doesn't know what to do. And I'm just curious like, would you straight up say this is exactly what I want? Would you just let him go for it? What did you what happened in your situation? I told him 100% exactly what I wanted and he copied it exactly. Okay. I think that's like kind of the only way to do it. Yeah. Well, we just talked. about it so much, but I made a Pinterest board. And I, like, I thought that I had like a vibe of ring I wanted, but then every single one that I was posting was exactly the same. So my best friend went with him and they just, it was exactly, it was exactly what I wanted. I feel like if it's not that, like, you're just, it's scary. It's too scary. You have to just say, you have to wear it every day. I don't know. Do you have thoughts on this? There has to be some like back channel communication with my sister and she has to be communicating with me. If we're trying to make it like, you know,

romantic still. But yeah, at the end of it. the day like if I'm wearing that it has to be something I really want they think what was the story of what happened when Bobby was going to propose like he like when he got high he like threw oh no no yeah yeah yeah so um he threw something at you was like get a ring what do you mean proposed he he was like on his way to a trip I think he was right about to leave to Budapest and he was like oh you should plan a wedding and he's like bye I'm like that's not how you propose to somebody I brought it up in therapy and she was like, what is wrong with you? But then I was so stupid, I was like, oh, I guess I should.

And then I went and found like a jewel. It was like a whole backwards thing. It wasn't until like a couple weeks in. I was like, wait, this feels wrong. And then he came back from Budapest and I was like, are we going to get married? He's like, I guess. He's like, can you plan something? I'm like, oh my God.

Yeah, I think that was the beginning of the end. And I was like, okay, you're addicted to porn. And I think you hate when that happens. Yeah. I hate when you're addicted porn, you can't propose properly. Like, this is hurting my feelings. This is really hurting my feelings. Yeah.

Aw. So is there a possibility of this occurring in your life in this current administration? Oh, in this current administration? I don't know. I don't know. I'd like it. I'd like for it too. But, you know, you want to be married again for sure?

I've never been married. Oh, you never got me. That's good. Oh, thank God. Yeah, yeah. We never actually got married. I was worried there for a second. But he did get high when he relapsed.

He got really, really high one time and bought me a ring. And now that I look back at it, it is beautiful, but it's not something I can wear every day. It's like this beautiful, like jade, like with diamonds around. But it's like, it's like for an old regal Chinese woman in her 80s to be like. Can I have it? I mean, I love looking at it. I know. It's beautiful.

It's, but I associate it to a time where he relapsed, so I don't see it as like, oh, yeah. What a thoughtful gift. Jewelry really needs meaning. And you know me. I don't believe in ghosts. I don't believe in like pretty much anything. I'm like a religious in every way. But for some reason I cannot wear a piece of jewelry if it has any like negative context.

Yeah. Oh, I bought this when I was like feeling this. No, I can't wear it. Like I really need or I need to like reinvent it. or something. It needs to be meaningful. Do you feel like that? I do, but I don't know. Is that an aura ring I see on your finger? I don't like the meaning behind that. Wow. Why? I love it. I just got one for Christmas. I was so excited about it. I honestly, I wanted it for natural cycles so that I could like, oh my God, she's really on. She's real. She's for real. You know, you just get obsessive

on TikTok. But I'm pissed every every two seconds. It's telling me, get up and stretch your legs. I'm like, I've been sitting down for two minutes, first of all, and I know you're not saying that to my fiance next to me. So what the fuck are you talking about? It's so frustrating. Also, we, yesterday, I swear to God, we did exactly the same things we were running around all day. And then I check, he's burned 400 calories.

I burned 90. I know. Doesn't that suck? I hate being on a bike when I used to cycle a lot and seeing someone's Apple Watch. And I'm like, 800 fucking calories. There's no fucking way in hell. I worked harder than you. and I burn two.

Like this is not. It's infuriating. Men, their calorie burn is on a different level. I hate it. It's like once you cross over into being an aura ring user, there's no going back. And it's almost like, do I want to encourage others to go in? Or do I want them to stay in peace? Are you someone who likes to know metrics all the time about everything?

They'll see, like, that gives me anxiety. I can. You don't think it gives me anxiety? Of course it does. Yeah. Every morning I wake up and I, check my sleep score and I'm like, this is how I know, like, if my day will be good or bad. I know. I'm wondering if that's like a placebo situation because sometimes I'll feel like I got

good sleep and then I'll see like a 50 sleep score and I'm like, day's ruined. Yeah, no, and then I go by that and not how I feel. I don't know. I haven't decided yet if it's, if it should stay in my, also it doesn't fit my other hand and like I can't keep wearing it with my engagement ring. It looks like really awful. It kind of does not look right. Well, I woke up. Sometimes. Sometimes. it fits, but only like at the end of the day after I've sweat. The aura ring is definitely a, it can be an eyesore at times. I feel that. I feel like just now that I've gotten it, they're going to come out with one that's like half the size. That's what always happens to me. I'll get a version of something and then immediately something better will come out.

But I like the chunkiness of it too. I don't know. I'm really, I have a mean aura are very complicated. It's love, hate all around. I have something really stupid to confess. Uh-oh. I didn't know that someone can say I ran a marathon, but then not run the whole way. Like they can rest and walk and you can still say I finished a marathon. Does that make sense? Yeah. I thought this whole time for someone to say I ran a marathon means that they had to run beginning to end, 26.2, whatever it is, miles or else you cannot say you ran a marathon.

That's so you to think that. It's like a marathon is like a party. Honestly, if I walked a 15 minute mile for 26 miles, I would still be like I would not be able to function for weeks. Same, same. Walking 26 miles is still very much like a huge achievement. But I just didn't know that you could rest and relax because when I did triathlons, when I was 12 and forced into them, I crashed my fucking bike. I was bleeding down. Like my legs were bleeding.

And I did not stop. So you were involved and you didn't know? Like you? Yes, I did triathlons when I was young because my mom was like, because I was a swimmer and she was just like, well, here, here's another sport. And you better not fail. And so I did triathlons and I was so young and it was so hard on my body. But in my head, I thought if I don't run the whole way, if I stop and rest, it doesn't count.

No one told me that you could kill the fuck out and enjoy it. I'll tell you what. I always knew that. I was like in school, like when we ran the mile, I cheated, or I like would stop every single time make up every possible ailment I could possibly have. Yeah. I don't think I ever consistently ran the whole mile once. But you're fit now. No.

Yeah. It's a facade. I've seen the Allo Gym videos. A lot of these is different because it's like, it's hard, but it's, you know, it's not, I have no endurance whatsoever. I don't know. I'm impressed with what I've been seeing. Thank you. Yeah.

I'm definitely, I want to be you on that reformer. Because you know how much I want to go on the challenge. So I was like, I got to have some level of endurance, well, a serious level of endurance if I want to go on the challenge. I tried to run a mile around my neighborhood and I was like, this is, I'm a mess. I have to try again in three years. Did you guys see this? So it's been going viral the last week, this influencer, Victoria Paris. Her house that she's renting, she got a mold dog, which I never knew.

this existed. There is a dog that you can like invite to your home and he sniffs around and like if he does a certain like signal that means that he smells mold in your house. Okay. And she had this dog come because her and her girlfriend were really sick and

he was like doing the signals everywhere. And then I feel like it's spin everyone out into thinking that everyone online has mold and you're what's your what's going on with you? I feel a victim to it too. Yeah. Because she at first like she had an inspection and they just found it under her sink and then they they fixed it and they were like no more mold the actual mold inspector so and then of course when the mold dog came they found out like her whole house had mold so then i had a mold inspection when i bought my house but now i'm thinking like oh i could still have mold and at the time i'm having like stuffy nose i'm like oh my god like i have a little bit of a leak in the ceiling i'm like i have to throw the whole house away so i cut my whole ceiling open okay i do know that black mold is a thing i do know that you know you can and whatever it can

cost like severe illness but isn't have we gone a little too far with the mold mold conspiracies oh i hope so yeah i think now it's like everything is just because of mold and aren't there levels to the game like aren't isn't some mold right like there's supposedly there's mold everywhere and then i was once talking to this contractor and he was like in london every single house is covered in mold and nobody cares i don't know what the right answer is like but it is so scary to think that like the walls of your home are killing you like I don't know that's like such a like it just brings up such deep fear yeah I was honestly like I don't want to say hopeful but like I've been feeling so just like lethargic all the time that I'm like maybe if I have mold I can fix

it and I'll feel amazing but I think it's just because I eat Arby's but so you open your ceilings and then what happened well we really opened them up to fix the leak but then I was hoping while they were in there they could be like there's mold or there's not Not mold. You can go to the doctor. You can get tested and it'll show up in your... Is that real, Kalila? I actually don't know too much about mold, yeah.

I got tested yesterday. I went to the dermatologist for the first time. What did you get tested for? Well, I was... I convinced myself, of course, that I have melanoma. I had like a little mole on my back that I've been watching closely for a little while, but I remember looking at it recently and I was like... Got a little bigger, a little darker.

What'd they say? They just sliced them all out. They sliced them all out. out of here. To biopsy? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone should get their skin checked at the dermatologist every year, have them observe all your

little spots. And just because you have melanin or you're a melanated person, you still need to get your skin check because I have friends who are beautifully dark skinned and they've had like melanomas. Really? Well, I used to do tanning beds for like a long time. I didn't even need it. I just did it because it was like culturally the thing to do. the 2010s with your little like playboy sticker yeah and it like it just made to it just makes your

skin nicer me trying to like justify it it makes like like for psoriasis and stuff it's good i don't even have surrogens but i i was just so afraid and i'm i'm looking obviously on ticot like what does melanoma look like and i'm telling you like that it was it was exactly what it looked like when you get results two weeks my mom and my sister both had basal cell car which is extremely common and usually ends up on your face. And so I'm like just try to tell everyone to be really strict about going to the derm because it can these things like look normal. Yeah. It's really sketchy. For some people it's literally just the tiniest freckle like perfectly uniform. Yeah. It's so strange. But for both of them was just a surgery to like shave it out and then

get sewn back up and they're fine. Yeah. I'm hoping it's just like a regular mole or something. Yeah. I mean now it's gone. It's one of my sundae. first words. Mole. Melanoma? Right here. He always says, he goes, mole.

Do you have a mole there? Yeah, a big one. Oh, that, okay. You didn't know where it was. You're like up here. It's like right here because there's another one here and he makes me turn in my head and he goes, lol. That's so cute.

How much are you talking about it that he like. Yeah. Because one time he pointed at it, he tried to pick it off like it was dirt. And I was like, no, that's mama's mole. And now it's like his whole thing. He likes to do it. That's so cute. They started saying yellow

And the way she says it is like Yellow-low And it just like kills me Like it is the most The best feeling I've ever had hearing her suit So I'm all day I'm like what color is this

And just so I can hear Yololo I love the way she says by She goes Nano Yeah she has her own language She's Baba But she can I've said this before

She can say mama It just doesn't mean me it means more. She wants more food. So I'm Baba. Or Boppo. You do look like a Bopo. Yeah. No, when she said it, I was like, I get it. Yeah, I don't look like your mom. I look like Bopo. I'm jealous. Oh my God. It's like so foreign to me that you're this like young, beautiful girl and you want to be a mom. Because I feel like when I was a young beautiful girl like you with skinny waist and big boobs, I was like the furthest. from wanting a child near me no i'm i want it so bad but also miles is 10 years older than me so he doesn't want to be an old parent like my husband no well he's 39 so i don't know i just i feel like yeah i don't know

i've always wanted to be a mom too i knew always that i wanted to have kids and especially i want to have more than one kid so i think i should get it maybe like two do you have siblings no okay i do i have all half siblings. Me and my sisters all have different dads and me and my brother have different mom. Whoa. My mom had three kids or three kids before she was 22 with all three different guys. Bless her heart. I have my and my sister have different dads too. Really? Yeah. Yeah, I don't have any full siblings. Were you not raised together? No. Me and my sister were until I went with my grandparents and then we were separated. Yeah, okay. But I don't know. I want like a family, proper family. Yeah. I didn't know I wanted that until I had a baby and was like, oh, this is what.

I've wanted. I didn't want any of the other stuff I thought I wanted. Like, this is what I wanted. I wanted to do it so bad. Also, I can't believe I haven't even brought it up yet, but like I'm fan-girling because I'm so, I'm so in my new girl phase again. I started it again. Best show ever. But I'm watching it like late at night. It goes that est. And it was so good. You were on a lot of it. I mean, look, my body was definitely very different. I can't believe you recognized me. Yeah, that was my first like TV. gig. This happens to me a lot when people rewatch like new girl parks and rec workaholics. Like I like had like four lines on like one episode of like a lot of good shows. I'm very proud of it. My 20s because I was like the go to girl for like you need someone 18 to over 18 to play teen.

Obviously I did that really well. I feel like you could do it now. Thank you so much. I'm ready for the Juno sequel. Like I'm the best candidate. I was so excited. You guys, money is complicated, and if you're like me and your relationship with money is sometimes not so easy, Monarch might actually help. Set yourself up for financial success this year. Monarch is the all-in-one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life, budgeting, accounts, and investments, net worth and future planning together in one dashboard on your phone or laptop. Feel aware and control of your finances this year and get 50% off your Monarch subscription with Code Trash Tuesday. Monarch is a budgeting app, but not in like a shamy spreadsheet way. It's more like, hey, what's going on here? Let's stop panic. Let's actually try to fix this. And you know, since I've become a mom, I've become even more acutely aware of where my money is going, what I'm spending on. So with Monarch, now I'm building an emergency fund, saving for major milestones, like buying a home in the future or even my kids' education. Set yourself up for financial success in 2026 with Monarch. The all in one tool,

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Survival expert, Brooke. gosh, amazing. I can't think of anyone more opposite than me. I'm really excited for this. But I feel like you have secret survival skills that you're not willing to admit to, and I want Anthony to out you. I would love that. He's going to have to pull them out of me because I, and you can help him. So welcome to the show, Outdoor Anthony. Why? Thank you very much. Hello. Do I clap for myself? I'm going to clap for you guys. So will you tell us how to survive? Yeah, totally. Have you guys gone camping or anything outside adventures? I'm not a big camper, but I free dive and I spearfish.

So, yeah, that's- I dive. Absolutely incredible. But those are my only survival. Like, I can get, I can procure us food from the ocean, but that's about where it ends. That's amazing. I mean, I can't do that. I've never spearfished. I'd like to. Do you do like survival lessons? Yeah. I do like nature education videos. So a lot of it has to do with like how to hand whistle outside. Like, you could do that. Stop. Oh, my God.

That was so exciting. You can, like, hum while you do it too. You go, wh-w-wow. Or roll out. Why do we need different whistle sounds? What are we trying to attract? Well, I do it literally with my friends as, like, a signal in the wood. Like, you guys, okay?

If you're all skiing down a mountain and you're, like, out of, like, earshot of each other, just like a, oh, yeah. And, like, that's how we talk. This is where I'm flog. I don't know how to whistle even plainly, and I don't know how, I, I'm fucked. You want to try? I could even, Marco! I can't.

Help! I can't wink. I don't even know how to wink. I can't wink either. You can't wink? No. But I'm obsessed with Survivor. I'm like, I want to like, maybe I need to pick your brain a little bit more.

That's right. You're a survivor freak. I love it. And also, I don't know if you're familiar, but I spent all night last night watching those guys, um, jungle survival on YouTube, the guys who build like these insane God, those guys are so cool. It is insane what they do in like 24 hours, not even. They'll build like pools and castles and like perfectly sound structures.

Incredible. I'm like, geez, I've never even slept outside. Yeah, and then like my videos are here's how to make a fort. And it's just like the shittiest pile of sticks you've ever seen in your life. No, but it's so cool because like, God forbid something were to happen. Like, have you seen lost? It happens all the time. We have actually some survival skill questions prepared here.

Oh, trash Tuesday survival skills. Common survival related questions to see. Who has the best chance of survival in a dire situation? Oh, Lord. If you want to pack a bag to keep in your car in case you crash and just go into the forest, what would you want to carry in that backpack? Okay. I have what I have in my back in my car.

Yeah. Which is running shoes, a whistle. I don't have it yet, but one of those little radio things. Like an AM radio? Yeah. And and electrolytes and some canned food. Sweet. Yeah.

You've got all of them. You have that in your car? I used to. I just traded my car in. But usually I have like a go bag for emergency because we had to leave for the fires. Oh yeah. A really bad seed in my head. Yeah.

I have a case of sour patch watermelon in my trunk. And I feel like you could survive on that for a really long time. I really do think so. I think that's not bad. If I'm being honest, that's part of it. And I'll tell you in a second. That's a really good thing to have. Oh.

Yeah, right? Because your blood sugar, blood sugar. I don't have anything in my car. What I would bring with me, maybe like a mag light. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. That's all I got.

Pop-Tarts. Make sure their batteries are in there. Oh, yeah, that's a good point. Ooh, maybe like one of those things that shoots in the air. Like a flare gun? Yeah. I'm bringing one of those.

I'd be down to get a flurry gun. I feel like I'd start a wildfire. So you guys got a lot of them. That's in all different essences. Okay, so obviously the most. setup. I would add to your list like layers, some kind of like warmth layers other than like an

emergency blanket because they always say like three days without water, three weeks without food, but literally like one night or three hours without proper clothing and you're dead. So like make sure that you have a good jacket in your car at all times just for stuff. I mean obviously

I live in Lake Tahoe like it's storming right now. Here you're probably pretty fine. You could have like a beach towel and it'd probably do the same thing. But it does get so cold here at night. I get frididid. Me too. Also, sunscreen, I would bring. That's good. And then on your point to sour patches, like, sour patches are kind of part of

certain people's survival kits because if you're hiking in the woods and maybe there's a big disaster and there's diabetics around. See, you're a survivor. What? They need candy? Yes, diabetes. They can't bring a glycemic. Yeah. They're not supposed to have candy.

No, there's two kinds. There's two kinds. Yeah. Oh, okay. Diabetics go extremely up, extremely down. So it's really interesting because, like, you can actually smell if someone's overdosing on sugar by their breath if they're diabetic. When they become, like, ketoacodic, like, that's fruity. Look at these words.

I went to nursing school. Right on. Yeah, I have to learn about like D.K.A. and all that stuff. But that smell really sets me off. And usually when someone's like, oh, I'm not when someone is like, oh, I'm really healthy. And I'm like, no, you're not. You should check his sugars because I can smell it on you. Will you?

tell me if you smell that on me? Yeah, I will. You don't smell it on you. I just watched one of your reals where it's like, you're stinky and like everyone just starts smelling your armpit. Oh, God. Are you stinky? Sometimes. It's a deodorant in her bag. Yeah, I don't, yeah. I need that to survive. Wait, I do have a question because I'm trying to think of like survival situations that realistically I'm going to get into and some people might laugh at this, but like, what if I'm like on my late night walk and like a coyote or three? are around, like, is people say like, oh, there's no concern. Is that true? Like, should I be concerned? What should I do? You should not be concerned. If you see a coyote walking around,

it's a great opportunity to see a coyote. There's not really any danger with them. If you've got a small ass chihuahua with you, strike all that. They want your chihuahua. So what do you do? Because I have a small dog with me. Keep it on a leash. And literally, if you pick up that dog and just hold it. And if you're just loud. Coyotes are wimps in like every form of the word. I like a couple weeks ago was hiking and there's a coyote pack down on the trail that I had to go down on. And I just hid in the bushes because I was going to prank them. And like as they walked up a trail, I was going to pop out and be like, bleh. Oh my God. Freaks it out and they all ran away. That's how coyotes actually act in front of people. I have a feeling I would be the one to try this and I'd be the first to be just mulled. This is really

annoying when people share their dreams. But two nights ago, I had a dream that I was at Bobby's wedding and it was in this beautiful villa. But then in the middle of the reception someone knocks on the door and they were like, we need Kalila. And I'm like, what do you need me for, officer? And they

needed me to rescue a baby coyote and that baby coyote became my pet at Bobby's wedding. Isn't that cute? That is so cute. I love that. I was like one of the cuter dreams I've had. It really makes me wonder what's going on in there. It really makes me concern

I know the Lexa pro is coming soon Don't worry Have you guys seen though Like when they That lady picked up a coyote And she's like I found this stray dog Definitely no Definitely super like

Skittish And they posted on like their Facebook page They're like does this belong to anybody And they're like girl that's a coyote They are so cute Like whenever I run into one I'm like I hate that you want to kill my dog Because you're so beautiful

It's amazing I get a lot of dogs and cats, though. I have a lady in my neighborhood with, like, the most beautiful garden, and she has her little cat out there every single day, like, gardening with her. We were, like, complimenting her, and she's like, yeah, my last two got eaten by coyotes. I'm like, take your third one inside. Two is a trend. Two is a pattern.

Like, if you lost two cats to coyotes, why are you bringing your third outside? It is such an L.A. It's like everyone is terrified of this because it's like we have a high fence backyard, and I've seen a coyote in my yard before. Oh, they can scale them. Yeah. Yeah, those fences, like nothing. They're, they're, but I, I do hike a lot and they are, I do see that they're wimps.

Like, even in packs, they've never bothered me. They're kind of shy. But you do hear about the ever so occasional bear run in. I mean, at least like, where my grandma lived in Minnesota, like, when we would go on walks, it'd be like, look out for bears. What do you do? Are you just dead at that point? That's one of our question.

Wow, look at you. It's like you're on point. Yeah. I want to know your answer first. Yeah, yeah. What would you do if like, okay, it's you and donut out in the wild and here comes up. I've been in the situation where I'm like on a walk by my grandma's house in the forest. And I'm like, I literally was like I don't know what I would do.

I think I would just stand still and do nothing. I would freeze and just wait till it eats me and hope that it can tell that I'm not good meat. It depends on the type of bear. But I don't know how true that is. Tom Seguerre said that on one podcast. And I was like, is he correct? No. Yeah.

I don't know. Final input. Oh, I have no idea. But just instinctually, what would you do, Brooke? Yeah. Aren't you supposed to get bigger than the bear? Do we have a shot at that? I always see, like, on the survival shows, it's like, hey, bear, like, kind of vocalize

something that I'm here. I know you. I'm, like, dominated. That's, I watch alone. And so that's what they say on there. Do that like as role play with your partner? I do all the time. All the time.

All the time. Because you know he's like big and bearish? Yeah, that's one of our role plays. Thank you for outing me. I'm not spying on you. Anthony, what's the correct answer? I usually tell him my credit score and they leave. Really?

So yeah, talk to them. Yell, be big. Almost all bears in the southern U.S. Like in the United States are black bears. Even if they're brown, they are categorically black bears. They're basically giant raccoons. We used to teach in Minnesota. I've had to bear spray bears in Minnesota.

But I used to teach kids out in the woods. And we would have bears like come up to us, not come up to us, but they're just in the area. And I had like people's kindergartners or preschoolers. And we would teach them to say, I love you bear at the top of their freaking lungs. And the bear goes like, oh, boy! And they run away. Like coyotes and black bears. I've had a black bear in my home eating my spaghetti off of my kitchen.

counter. What? God. And I'd be like, honestly, you live here now. No, but I was on my underwear. It was like four in the morning. Oh. Stupid for eating, for leaving spaghetti out.

But I got out and I was just filming it. And I was like, dude, get the fuck out of my house. And it literally like, it looked like a cartoon. It went like, whole boy. And like this is zoomed off. Like yogi? Yeah. Oh, how did it get in?

And it took all of my tortilla chips. Yeah. Did it open your door? It opened my pantry. But to get into my house, it was so hot. It was like a hot July. day up in Tahoe and it's like really humid and hot at night there. Oh, you wanted a bear in your house. So my back door is open, but my screen was closed. And it clawed open the screen. Okay.

And then I was on a Zoom call with a conservation group of people like talking about saving animals. And in the background of it, I didn't see it, but a bear was clawing at my window screen to get into my house. And they're like, Anthony, I think there's a cat behind you. And I turn around. I'm like, sorry, it's a bear. And I like turn the camera and had to like shoe away the bear in a middle of a conservation taco is pretty fun. And I feel like that makes you instantly more credible. Like there's bears at my house. Yeah.

Are you kidding? Hell yeah. Can't get a date, but I could get a bear in my house. So is there ever, though, a situation? I feel like you do hear about bear attacks. What's happening? What if we're talking about grizzly? The California flag is a grizzly.

We killed all of them in California. So there's none left. But there's a super high concentration of black bears. Grizzlies live northern. You go to Montana. Then you get into Canada. And out there, biologists have to travel with a, Bear Guard. That is a job. A bear, a dude with a gun that just follows scientists to make sure they

don't get killed by bears. I applied for that job. I was not accepted, but it's fine. Just be happy. That's probably a good sign. You're not going to get mauled. Yeah. Where are the Grizzlies? I would say western northern. So like Alaska. Going up into that side of Canada along the Atlantic coast or sorry, Pacific Coast. Yeah, honestly, you'll know the difference. Like a black bear probably is this tall like walking around. A grizzly is like, we'll be taller than you, if not a little bit less when they're fully sized. I don't need to see that. And they're just going to kill you.

You should just act dead. What about a chimp? I'm so terrified of chimps. Me too. After I watch that document. Yes. Oh, my God. Do people encounter chimps in the wad?

No. He just shot you down. Sorry. I'm sorry. Like I probably won't in my lifetime. No. I volunteered at the. There's an L.A. sanctuary for animals that closed down a couple years ago,

but it had all of the celebrities like refuse animals that they just thought they were cute when they were younger than they just ditched them. Like, for instance, you could go to SeaWorld right now and there's a big grouper fish that's like this big named Bubba. That's Shaq's fish. Oh, Shaq. You know those groupers. You see their faces. They look all sad already. They're just like big and lumpy.

Yeah. But it's actually they keep it in the shark tank because the sharks, it's like so big. The sharks don't really want. It's good. Yeah. It's pretty rad. I just I don't know. I have a I have a fear of chimps. I feel like at any point. Have you seen Chimp Crazy? No, but there's a new Chimp movie coming out like in a couple weeks too. Well, Chip Crazy talks about a lot, well, a couple different characters, but basically chimp ownership and how the chimps have turned on specific people and completely just like rearranged their. Yeah, the girls entire face off like all of it. So do you guys see like those orangutans that have the huge like circuble? facepads, those face pads come in during puberty. So apes, we are the fifth form of the great ape, all the other apes. When puberty hits, it is a tank of testosterone that just floods their entire body. So chimps are freaking cute until puberty. And then it doesn't matter how much you love them as a young thing. It's going to explode into just pure what it is evolved to be.

It's kind of like tweens. It's just crazy. Like he just simply knew that. But it's like people still, like they didn't just Google that information and then they still got the chimp. I got chat GPT in my ear right now. Just tell me so. But you're right, it is like a teenage teenager. Yeah. Yeah. What else do we have, Guy?

If you don't have toilet paper in the woods, what can you use? I think on Survivor, they say they, like, a leaf is too, like, slippery. It just doesn't, it doesn't have any friction. But I think they say to use, like, a branch or something. Do you like go in, I guess there's not, if there's like some water nearby, you just take a little bad. I don't think you should. If it's moving water like a babbling brook and I know that it's being sourced from something higher and it's constantly moving, I would dip my button there. Or actually, even if it was stagnant water, I wouldn't get water from there anyway.

So I'd wash my ass in there because I wouldn't dip in there for anything. Okay. But I have used a leaf before and I think the theory is wrong, Brooke. Really? There are some leaves that work okay on because one time I was running the Rose Bowl, that loop, have you guys ever done that? Yeah, of course. I had a diarrhea attack.

So I hopped onto the side and I was desperate and I don't know. It was a little dark. I didn't know what leaves I pulled, but it did maybe like a 75% job. So not too bad. It's never going to be 100%, I will say. The reason why they don't do it on Survivor is like these little plants behind us, These are island plants. They're slick, they're waxy.

They're not going to be good for wrapping your butthole. But if you're like in the desert and you've got like that fuzzy like mullen, like you've seen those big fat fuzzy leaves maybe if you go on the desert. Those are amazing. That's a Charmin Ultrasaw. They are. Yeah, it's four ply. It's amazing.

So that, let's see, I got some options because I was ready for this question. Oh, good. Yeah. So what I like to do is if I have to take a dump, I will dig a hole, squat over it, and as I'm squatting over it, you're not on your phone because you don't want to be on your phone while you're pooping in the outdoors. I'll whittle while I'm pooping that stick that I'm going to eventually wipe my asshole with. Okay. So this is actually a really good one. This is my dad's favorite stick, so I'm not going to wipe my butt with it. But yeah,

if you can hold it like that and just have a very smooth part of the stick that you can just sloop and then go sloop like back down and then maybe you can like wipe on a branch to it one more time. Beautiful. Okay. That's good to know. Smooth river. stones anybody? This wouldn't be the worst. Really? Isn't that one a little big to get in the crevices? What are you doing with it?

Yeah. I don't know if you've pulled them cheeks over. Yeah, how wide does my stance have to be? Let me see how wide your stance is. I have to do a split? Jeez. But yeah, wipe your butt with the riverstone. It's actually pretty awesome.

I found this in San Diego. So this was like on the ocean. I thought it was like a dragon egg. So I was like, I want it. But then I thought, wow, this is a good wiping. Okay, so riverstone, not pumice. Yeah, right, yeah, do not use any volcanic stones. Dear God.

In my head, you're doing this with a river stone. I know what to do. I have a lot of videos about stances you can use for pooping. I want to ask you if you think I'm more evolved than, because I'm Filipino. So a lot of our, when we, a lot of our toilets don't require you to sit like. this. So we do a squat. Do you know how healthy that is for you? Yes, I do. It's amazing. It comes out so much squatty potty. Yeah, if you guys can do this and put like your armpits over your knees and parkour back before it was PC. We called this a third world pose. And that

means that all of everything just can sloth right out of you. Yeah, because I feel like it, you're right, it does slide out easier. Oh, I'm going to. Pallades lady. Doesn't it feel so good when you're pregnant to to be in this position? In ways, yes, in other ways. I can understand that. Wait, so you do parkour? I used to teach parkour for a bit. Oh, that's good to know because I've really been trying to get involved.

I actually signed up for a class a couple weeks ago and had to cancel, unfortunately. But there's a lot of good parkour gyms here. Yeah, off you're in L.A., traverse fitness is good. Movement lab. That's where it was, I think. Movement lab? No, it was in Chatsworth. You shock me sometimes, Brooke.

No, I want to do parkour so bad. She makes no sense. All of it comes back. to wanting to go on the challenge. Like, I feel like parkour is a good skill set. Yeah. You never know when you're going to need to do parkour. I feel like the baby's going to slip out in this post.

Yeah, I feel like you're going to induce labor or something. Think that as a poop. It's just, it's nice. But yeah, I was on American Ninja Warrior for four years. Oh, I have American Ninja Warrior Gym in Santa Ana. It's like literally designed to train people for. Wait, you just found your coach. They called me to manage that place.

And I was like, I'm busy. No, I'm so serious. I'm going to have to take your number. Yeah. Yep. I really have some before I get pregnant. Yeah, that's true. Imagine her being six months pregnant, just parkoring around your neighborhood.

It's fun. It's just freedom of movement. They always say that parkour is dangerous and getting insurance to teach parkour is a fucking nightmare. Really? But it's super safe. It's literally teaching you how to fall correctly and how to roll correctly. I just have like such an ego on me. I'm like, I'm not signing up for beginners parkour. I'm like, I can jump from one stump to the next.

Like, give me the hard stuff. That's where I feel like my weakness is I don't know how to fall. Take a beginner parkour course Maybe maybe But you guys are dancers You already have like the upper hand The coordination all of that Well I was a tumbler

So I feel like that's like That helps the parkour element Tumbling would help a lot Yeah I will say that my buddy was a super good Wrestler And he learned parkour And he actually the way that you roll Is completely different

That he refused to start learning parkour Because he didn't want to like Taint his wrestling way of doing it So there might be a tumbling aspect that sometimes happens Like gymnasts are not usually good dancers because it's like the opposite skills are used. Name one way to start a fire.

This is Flint. Ooh, Flint. What is Flint? It's a type of rock. A Flint holds fire. What do you mean you might have some? I might. I mean, I just think of, does it,

I don't know if it actually works about rubbing two sticks together. I always see that where, but it looks so hard to do. I don't know. This one, I feel like it's like. Usually they have the Flint and they have to. That's usually the challenge.

survivor though because a lot of them are in really like damp humid places to find really dry things to like catch a catch a fire is a little bit hard sometimes especially like they shoot them in the philippines and it's always raining there so yeah i can't imagine it's as easy but a lot of people when they're hiking and they know it's going to rain they'll just start putting shit in their pockets that is fine thing and oh that's cool and it's not about sitting down and making a fire it's like accumulating things over the day that you think is dry enough to use a fire oh that's smart magnifying glass over a leaf you know what i actually tested if you have the worst eyes and it's a really high magnification glasses you can actually use reading glasses oh really i think it's like three x and above uh you can do it but if you have like kind of okay glasses like you don't really need them the magnification isn't intense enough this right here is a magnesium ferro rod so um i just had to find something metal to put it against but oh it's that easy sorry that was amazing uh you could try it if you want it like the sparks like that won't set anything on fire and this is a plastic floor I think so but getting those teeth and just putting it against that and so that's a flint like a match but it's got to be metal on the other one too

it's got to be metal oh my I had a baby spark yes there it is nice no fires for that one you wanted to hold the knife but no but I keep that with me because you can get that thing soaking wet it's not like a lighter where it has a limited number like that I've had that Farrow rod for years. Oh, nice. It's fine. Right on. So you would have to do that over like a little something, something that can catch fire?

So you would get this. You'd scrape like a bunch of magnesium shavings of this off because it's super, super, it burns hot and localized. So I would get a little pile of that kind of like in one area. And then after I got enough of the little brambles and the tissues or whatever I need to use, that's when I'll start a fire. I love backpacking. So I will bring a book while I'm backpacking.

And then as I'm done reading the book, those pages become my kindling. for fires in the future. And then you have a lighter backpack, you have kindling, that's dry. I think I'm a smart guy. Genius. How do you feel about big game hunters guising their activity as conservation? Oh, good question. Wow.

Love that. Some rhinos to hunt, it costs somebody $350,000. And so all that money goes to conservation, allegedly. Most of that goes to the government, and they do whatever they want with it, especially in certain non-scrupulous countries in Africa. But I think hunting is a good thing in very slim moderation. If you see an overpopulation of deer, hunters mentality is, I need to kill the extra deer.

A conservationist thinks I need to probably introduce some wolves or some kind of predators. So as soon as the hunters skew their mindset to, we should probably restore something and we're like, oh, we need to cool what's already happening because that's our job. I think that's the delineation. Just as long as you are an ecologically conscious hunter. Yeah.

I could be fine, but I'm not a hunter, so I'm not one to judge. Yeah. I don't know how I feel about that. I'm around a lot of hunters. I know you are too, your family hunts. But the big game hunters, the trophy hunters who are like, they... Those are awful. Yeah.

Yeah. And so a certain president just unredacted the law, you can bring trophies back into the U.S. I saw that. Yeah. That sucks. That kind of goes back and forth. depending on the administration. But I'm going to South Africa in March

to help some anti-proaching efforts with the global conservation force. Folks at home, if everyone would donate to anti-poaching, they train locals to learn how to stop poachers. That way there's not a bunch of white people going in there and telling them what to do with their animals. Amazing. So, yeah, I'm going down there in March

to see what they're up to and make some videos with them. Oh, that's awesome. How do you stop poachers? Isn't that dangerous? Twofold. Long-term solution, educate the people and give them better opportunities. Short term, arrest them.

If you shoot them, their entire family will hate you, and all of a sudden you have hating people that hate conservation. So the job is not to kill poachers. The job is to arrest them, show them what's better. A lot of the people that actually are anti-pochers now used to be poachers. What if I'm on a hike and I see a mountain lion? Yeah, I feel like big cats are scared. Those are scared.

You see a mountain lion and it's at a higher angle than you. It's looking down at you. That's my fear. I'm always like looking up and see who's like scaling the area. Because if they're coming right at me, maybe I have a chance. But if they're coming from here, I'm fucked. You got me. I don't know either.

I would first off, never turn your back to it. Like, never act like it's not a problem. Like, never turn your back. Always walk. I've run into a mountain lion. I ran into one, I think, five years ago here in L.A. By Sierra Madre. I was camping by myself.

and it came up and sat underneath my hammock and just watched me as I was at my fire. What? What did you do? I finished my book. It wasn't going to do any. It was between me, like, it was like from me, probably to the end of the wall back there, like maybe 20 feet. And I finished reading my book.

And then I was like, I'm not going to happen here tonight. So I picked up one of the logs out of the fire that I had and just kind of did the whole caveman thing. It backed up enough for me to take down my hammock. And then I walked backwards for the last like two miles to get back out. Yeah, very interesting. Oh my God, I'd be petrified. Always walk backwards.

But can they sense that my heart is beating out of my chest? No. Okay, that's good to know. I was very loud and singing all the way back to tell them like, hey, like, I'm not going to sneak up on you. And I didn't want another animal in the middle of the night to be surprised by me sneaking up to them by accident. So if you're hiking in the middle of the night alone, be loud. What about rattlesnakes? So what I was told to do is if I'm walking through like tall grass or whatever and, you know,

There are a lot of rattlesnakes here, right? I was told to clap my way through and let them know I'm around, or is that not a thing? You can do that. You could stomp because they're usually on the ground or underground. So they feel the, like, same thing in San Diego as I'm sure some San Diego folk would know. Like, when you're in the beach, what do you do? Like shuffle your feet. Bingo, yeah.

Stingray, yeah. Stingray shuffle. And so that, like, doing stomping sounds, anything to, like, feel that ground. What if you stomp on that? them. Well, yeah, you're ideally not like marching, but you're doing like, yeah, five. So I've seen some really big, like, Pacific rattlesnakes when I used to hike Altonina, yeah? Yeah, pretty wild. I've run into quite a few, and they all do the warnings, and then they don't do anything. I think people that do get bit, they're gardening. They're sitting down on

like a bench that they don't know that there's a snake underneath it kind of thing. So just be aware of what's underneath you if you're out in the woods. What are your chances once you're bit by a rottlesnake? I think it's pretty high. high. I think helicopter evax are pretty common now. Do most hospitals have antidotes for rattlesnake bites? I would guess like one and four do, but if you're going to helicopter, they're just taking to the nearest one that needs antivenom. I just found out about rabies, like not just found out, but like, I love rabies. Have you heard about this rabies thing? I had no idea. It had such a crazy mortality. Like, I didn't realize once you have rabies, you just, you're dead. My fixation in

microbiology class was rabies because it's like, by the time you do find out, It's a hundred percent. Yeah, it feels like becoming fatality or something. How do you prevent that? You have to get a rabies shot. Even if you suspect a rabies bite, especially if you cannot find the animal and test the animal and prove its rabies in the Philippines because, you know, we had a lot of, like, rabid dogs at one point.

Like, I have cousins who would get the shots in their abdomen. If you suspected it, it couldn't prove it, you would still have to get the shots because it's like you cannot even risk finding out later because when you do find out You're, you know, you're going to pass away. So it's only if you got a bite. Yeah, but I heard like bats you can't even tell sometimes if they bit you. Oh, that's right. Yeah, they can spit on you.

I saw that lady with the, with the kid had those little bites in the ear. They were in like a cabin somewhere. And her whole family needed rabies shots. I'm like, oh, fuck. You guys on a radio lab? Yeah. It's a little like educational podcast. They had one specifically on rabies.

But they had one girl that they put her in a medically induced coma because rabies affects your brain chemistry. And so they put in a medically induced coma. so the antibodies had time to catch up. Because once you, if you die from rabies, if they check your body, you have antibodies for it. It just comes way too late. Oh, too late, yeah. So they're learning that if you put people in a medically induced coma, you have a higher chance of saving them.

Oh, interesting. Because their brain is on low power mode and the antibodies catch up before it infects your brain totally. Wow. But it's weird. But like, oh, I live in constant fear now. Oh, no, it's scary. Yeah. It's like one of those things you think you're just going to run into anywhere.

I'm scared of hauntavirus. What's that? What's a hauntavirus? Isn't Haunta? Do we want to keep going, guys? It's haunts from rats. Haunted's from rodents. A rodent.

That's, um, Gene Hackman's wife died from hauntah. Remember, they found her body in New Mexico. They're both dead. And everyone was like, oh, this is carbon monoxide poisoning. But she had haunta. Yeah. So, um, if you're like brooming out or doing any kind of cleaning and there's a bunch of, like, crap everywhere, like poop specifically of rodents, uh, hose it down first.

Because what happens is if there's this bacteria, a hana virus that's in the poop, if you're brooming itself, it goes up and it becomes airborne. But usually it's not. It's just sitting there. So you cleaning actually kills you. So if you think about it, I'm not that gross if I don't have to worry about me cleaning anything. I'm spraying everything down. That's a really good tip. So you wet it and then you clean it. Yeah, so you're not kicking it up into the air and inhaling it. I'm surprised like a bunch of like cave divers haven't gotten it because it's in. Well, actually, you're right. They die from, like, you know, being stuck in crevices. Yeah. I had a friend just who cave dove and he got meningitis.

That makes sense. Can I tell you one of the grossest things ever is I was diving through a sonotes, like just the underground rivers and stuff. And I came across a really, really dark patch. And I came up for air because I was like free diving. And I held on to the structure right next to me. and I looked over, I was like, what do I feel like there are organisms around me?

I look over, and I'm not kidding you, hundreds of massive cockroaches. And you know I hate cockroaches. You couldn't get my head faster down underneath. I was like, I'm getting the fuck out of here. It was so disgusting. So I know there's so much, like the meningitis stuff makes sense to me

because it's so gross in there. Do you guys remember the old Indiana Jones ride at Universal Studios? Yeah. They used to have like this air that fluttered by your feet with a bunch of loose fabric so it feels like there's cockroaches at your feet and they would show cockroaches on the screen. I think they still do that.

Humanity is that we're not doing ourselves any favors by getting people terrified of cockroaches. Oh, I'm petrified of cockroaches. Me too. It doesn't make any sense. I always think about how it's kind of like discriminatory how like if I see a ladybug and it has like cute little spots,

I'm like, let me grab it. If it's a cockroach. I have this theory. There was a point in my life where I wanted to tattoo a rat, a pigeon and a cockroach on my body. And the reason that we, anything becomes a pest to humans or society is because they have evolved to be superior to us. And I really do think that about cockroaches. It's like they have existed since the dawn of time.

And for the life of me, like they have haunted my childhood and my adulthood. And I am so terrified of them. So I think that they are gods at this point. That's why I'm afraid of them. I'm afraid of pigeons. And I'm afraid of God too. And I think that they're just so, they've survived everything that it's like, of course they're better than me. They're better than me and I'm afraid of them.

But you're saying don't be afraid of them. I mean, with caution, of course. But I mean, I knew people that had cockroaches as pets and they were fine. My buddy kept a black widow as a pet and they were fine. Oh, yeah. What about a black widow? What do we do if we see one or if? Wait, don't they cast like low webs?

Like I was always told, like, careful of like the low webs, not the high webs. Yard. No, because low webs also include tarantulas. And tarantulas. Oh, I love tarantulas. I had pet tarantulas. It's amazing. In California, we have those trapdoor trantulas.

Have you seen these things? Have you heard about this? These tarantulas literally create a trap door and they make a burrow. And then when the tarantula sees something or feel something come by, it leaves like little strands of webs out so it can feel it. It'll open up like a rock that it put on top of its thing. And it'll just go and then it'll close back over. Oh, my God. Cool.

Like a Venus fly trap or something. You know, I used to drive at three in the morning to Azusa and put a flashlight to any, and the tarantulas would be everywhere. A little reflective eyes. I love tarantulas. But isn't that interesting how, like, for some reason, spiders aren't as scary to me as cockroach. I agree. I agree. No, they are, because they're not.

Did you watch men in black too? I didn't, but I feel something like about a cockroach feels more like a rodent, or I mean a tarantula or like a big spider feels more like a rodent. Like when don't you die from a black widow bite? Yeah. And we have those here in LA. I'm convinced a cockroach can kill me. How come we don't hear more about black widow deaths? Because they're reclusive.

They keep themselves. Usually when people get attacked by black widows, it's not an attack. It's like, holy crap, get out of my house. Because the black widow is usually in the crevice in the corner you've forgotten about for 10 years. What's the brown one we worry about? Once again, don't clean your house. Just leave them. Oh yeah, you guys have that in Arizona.

Yeah, we have all. Reclose? All of it in Arizona. So they're not going to come for us. What part of Arizona are you in? I was in Tucson when I had all the wildlife. Yeah. Tucson's wild.

We would have mountain lions, havelina. Havelina are just ugly. You guys don't know a crazy fact I learned yesterday? Huh. The species of shark is older than the North Star. Wow. I love that. It's not the Megalodon, is it?

They're saying they're back. The megamouths? Or they're still here? Megalodons? Yes. Somebody said that they're still in the... A lot of them. Probably true then.

Yeah. I believe everything I see on the internet. The Mega Mouth sharks, they find them a lot in the Philippines. Yeah. I do keep track of it. I think they found at least like 20 over there. It's wild. But the Megalodon, I don't know.

As you just fit survivor, camper kind of guy, do you have like a go-to snack that you pack? Like, what's your like protein bar of choice? Ooh, I don't really do protein bars. So what do you do? Is it like a cliff bar? If I'm honest, if I go on like a day hike, I will pack a Chipotleabrito. Oh, amazing.

I love it. I'm going there after this. That sounds so good. That's a perfect snack. And then if you go out for multiple days, I like dates because they help you poop. Okay. I feel like I don't need any help in that department. I'll tell you that much.

My new diet. It's my current diet. Hell yeah. Yeah. And then always bring chapsic. Like I can't tell you. I was out in the woods for like 17 days once and I didn't bring chapsic. Didn't think I'd need it because I hadn't done that before.

When I came back, my lips were just scared. There was nothing left with my lips. But I feel like some brands of chapsic are a scam. Bingo. And the ones that I know work really well is actually what I use for my little painful nipples because I breastfeed. The nipple butter, best chapstick on Earth. Really? I feel like sunscreen to me is more important than chapstick on my lips because I get like cold sores.

If I have any sun at all. Do you get that on Amazon? The nipple butter. Yeah. I think it's called Earth Mama. Yeah, people are real weird for me getting it in. Earth mama, nipple butter. Yeah, get the nipple butter, guys.

It works well on your lips. We also heard that you had some scientific data on why women are the more superior sex. Oh, is this true? Lovely. It's funny because I got like 15 million views on a video last year about how to throw a knife. I looked at my analytics. 99% men. Like, fuck, I need to do something for the ladies.

And so I looked up like some evolutionary science of how we've evolved separately. and over the last like 100,000 years. And when it comes to the senses, ladies are like second to none. Like we are just like meat patties that just get thrown into the world. But you guys have such receptive like natures. Like you guys have an incredible like incredible amount of taste buds compared to us.

So if if something smells or tastes bad because you think it's old and we don't agree with you, you guys are always right. That's what I like to hear. Hear that guy? There's that. Nope. There's mutations in eyesight. And so for guys, if we have a mutation in eyesight, it's colorblindness.

So I think like 14, 12 to 14% of men are colorblind. If that mutation happens in women, it's like a super lower chance of colorblindness. And it's actually tetachromacy where you have another cone to see more colors than guys do. Ooh. That's what I want. Because my partner is colorblind. And his sister is also colorblind. But she also is like, like, she's also a woman. witch. I feel like she sees like the other like she sees other realms. So I do believe that.

I mean, yeah. I'm sorry. This is a really stupid question. If he's colorblind, does that literally mean he can't see color? He, my part is color faded. He's a little color faded. So he mixes up depending on like how light hits something to like a cat. Do I have a pimple? He can't see it. Oh, that's good. That is good. That is good. I was like, that's great. Yeah. So red green color blindness. There's that. I had a buddy. That's not good. What about on the road? Yeah, I had a backpacking guy that was teaching me. Everything that was green and red was brown.

So they were all, like everything was brown. And he got hit in the head when he was younger. Something happened where everything tastes like pizza, no matter what he ate. Cool. I know, right? I know. Kind of awesome. So I'm like, you've got a really awful setup in life.

But at least you like pizza. And then there's the other kind of color blindness. My buddy has is like blue, purple-ish, like that deeper color spectrum. If you go like rock climbing ever, they tag certain routes based off of the color to tell you like the difficulty or where you go. And you know who's colorblind at the gyms now because you're like, this guy has no idea what he's doing. This color on like eight different routes. Or they'll come up to me like, excuse me, I'm colorblind. I don't know what to do here.

And you have to tell them what rocks to touch. Why do women want to scald their skin in the shower? I need to burn in the bath. Me too. I need to burn. Mother of dragon style. I'm like a 95 degreeer. Ew, I would be shivering.

Okay, testicles are on the outside of our body. Okay, and sperm doesn't really exist in high temperatures because they'll just die. So the fact that we have a lower need for high temperature means that we're trying to protect, our body's trying to protect our sperm from not dying at high heat. So we have a lower sensitivity to high heat. You guys actually estrogen lowers the ability for dispersal of heat in the body. So if your fingertips and your toes run colder than your partners, that's the reason. It's estrogen.

So between those two things, man, by the end of it, we're pretty different. But then how does sperm act in the sauna? Because men are all into their sauna era these days, right? It's like, doesn't that? No, they're toasted, bro. Don't tell me that. Why? Because we just got a sauna.

Just I think for three months before you try to conceive he shouldn't use it. Yeah. Just don't jacuzzi, don't sauna. Don't add heat to the area. I'll tell him to research it. I'm a guy from the woods. So as much as I can tell you things, I would research it. He's saunning every day.

He's going to have to take a break. He's going to hate to hear this. In the summer, in the summer, it'll be easier to break. Also, the finish people are fine. They're having kids. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they finish.

Oh, yeah. I think as long as you do hot, cold, hot cold, and you do a cold punch, just dip his nuts in a cold bath right after. Oh, listen to that. Just research about it. It's got something a nightmare. But it's not like it kills it forever. It's like you just need like a period of time where you're not doing it.

They just start swimming in circles. What about like why women are better listeners? It goes into how we register sound in our brain. And guys use, I think it's the left side of our brain for immediate like need. We're basically like one quest people. Like if we play video games, you guys would be like managing a bunch of different quests and be really good at making sure that all of them are all set a little bit less. attentive, maybe at all the quests together, we will do one quest and we go, yes, we did that.

And then we go to the next one and we do that. So when it comes to our listening, it's the same thing. If we have a task, we do the task. And if we're doing that task, if we're typing or whittling and you're telling us shit, it's like, we actually won't register you hearing things. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Sorry. It's a great excuse, but also the caveat to that is multitaskers don't actually do better with those tasks. There's always a tradeoff for that stuff. I don't have any of these things. I'm a bad listener. I'm a bad multitasker.

I just can't. Any final questions for our survivor, survivalist, outdoor Anthony? God, I feel like I should have had like 50 questions ready now that I'll never probably see you again. I'm around. Yeah. If you guys want to do a trip on the road, come to Tahoe.

I can show you guys some bears and some sand. and stuff. Okay, I do have one question. Do you feel I feel as though in certain climates, I feel biologically supreme. And then when I enter Tahoe and the cold parts of the world, I feel so biologically inferior like my body does a full shutdown. There are people that look really pretty and rosy and their blood flows to their face. Like I couldn't be more opposite of that. I feel like my body is like, fuck no. Do you believe that certain people are meant for certain climates. Yep.

It's not about a belief. I mean, it's more science. I mean, if you're a Southeast Asian descent, you're going to like tropical climates. Because my eczema is so bad in the United States, everything is shutting down. I'm going to move back, guys. Bye. Like, I'm white as shit. And my family all came from, like, the Dutch heritage.

And I don't think I do well in this climate or humidity. Yeah. My hair is curly as hell. Like, it would just be, I would just look like Bob Ross. And up in Tahoe, I actually do really well. Like, I grow my beard out and I feel really fine in the cold. And in the, like, I'm struggling down here. Like, I'm putting on so much moisturizer.

Yeah. But in Tahoe, I don't. But isn't it like that too? I'm so dry and crusty here. But I'm from Chicago and I don't, I mean, not that that's where my ethnicity is from. But, like, I'm, like, not dry there at all. Interesting. It's a complete L.A. issue.

What's your, like, dissent? I just know, like, Jewish, Ashkenazi. and from Finland. Yeah, so there we go. Yeah. Cold, probably. Yeah. Maybe colder climates.

Wow. Well, thank you so much, Anthony. I know. I've got to get to it. I got to get to it. I know. I'm going to start with a mile. To finally do it.

Right. Thank you so much for our guest. Outdoor Anthony, where can people find more of you and learn more from you? Yeah, Google me on anything. Outdoor Anthony on Instagram, TikTok, all the stuff. There's one stalker website that just really gets on my feet pictures and puts them in a spot. You could find me there too. But yeah, TikTok, Instagram, YouTube.

And Brooke. Brooks Schofield on everything except for WikiFeet, they kicked me off. They kicked you off? Yeah, because apparently you can't campaign for votes, which is fucking ridiculous. No, that's sexist because Bobby campaigned for votes on H3H3. And his rating went from like a 2.1 to 5.0. So they're fucking misogynistic. It happened to me. I got to a perfect score and then I checked the next day and my whole account was deleted.

That's bullshit. I am, we need to really. I'm going to appeal it. Yes, appeal it. And don't forget to plug your new secret account. Well, it's not a secret if I plug it. People don't want people want to know it. Are you ever going to make it private or just leave?

Is that what I'm supposed to do? No. I think so. I think so. I think so. Wait, if I'm following Mama Brooke, I need us to have. We have our own thing. Mom of Brooke is cat account. Broke Schofield is spam account.

And Brooks Schofield is Brooke account. Oh. This is wild world. This is people under 30. You have so many accounts. I can't do more than one. This is crazy. I'm just so hardworking.

Love it. Thank you so much to our slugs for being here and listening. And as always, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. I don't know. I'm still. I'm going to be. I'm going to be. I don't know.