Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Bobby Moynihan is Caitlin Reilly's #1 Fan

Episode Date: July 7, 2026

Thank you to SQUARESPACE -  Check out https://www.squarespace.com/TRASHTUESDAY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code TRASHTUESDAYBTS, BONUS CONTENT AND MORE! Only on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast     GET IT BEFORE ITS GONE - https://trashtuesday.myshopify.com/ SNL royalty Bobby Moynihan begged us to bring him on with Caitlin Reilly. This episode has everything: ghosts, grief, organ donors, narcissistic parents, and Jeff Bridges. Caitlin opens up about losing her mom just before her wedding, while she and Bobby bond over the shared experience of losing both of their parents. We also learn about Caitlin's true love (hi, Hayden Christensen). MORE BOBBY!https://www.instagram.com/bibbymoynihan/?hl=en MORE CAITLIN!https://www.instagram.com/hicaitlinreilly/?hl=en https://www.tiktok.com/@itscaitlinhello?lang=en Thank you to our sponsors:Thank you to LOLA BLANKETS -  Get 40% off select Lola Blankets products at Lolablankets.com by using code TRASHTUESDAY at checkout. Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets https://lolablankets.com/  #ADThank you BlueChew- right now, when you buy two months of BlueChew Gold you get the third FREE with promo code TRASHTUESDAY. https://www.BlueChew.com *Ebb Ocean Club is NOW IN SEPHORA* https://www.sephora.com/brand/ebb-ocean-clubfor Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products!*Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/ MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A   PRODUCTION:Studio Ten42: https://www.instagram.com/studioten42/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Arielle Jade (Editor): https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ Elisa Hernandez Kohler: https://www.instagram.com/ellie.lianna/ Megan Clements:  https://www.instagram.com/egggymeg/   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, I'm Andrew Santino. And I'm Bobby Lee. And we made something completely insane. We took celebrities. We put them in my mom's basement. We throw trivia at them. We hit them with absurd challenges. And then, just when they think they know what's happening, we blow to ho-ting a pot.

Nobody knows the rules. We barely know the rules. It's chaos. It's comedy. It's the bad game show. New episodes drop every Wednesday. Watch on the bad friends' YouTube channel. Or on the bad game show feed on Spotify video.

Follow, subscribe, watch. Share. Play along. Have fun. There's some really magical stuff going on on the Minions Press Store. Thank you for agreeing. You guys, welcome to Trash Tuesday. Welcome. Hey, guys, welcome to Trash Tuesday podcast.

Hi. Oh, wow. This is really cool. Flash it to me. It's a lot. It's cool. Flash it to me. Yeah, I just, it's not one of those. When you said like, oh, I just don't throw anything away, I was like thinking, oh, like, hoarder stitch, but this is really well curated. It is. It's very well curated. He's serious. He's a serious man. Because my Bobby would say he's a collector.

There's two bobbies in comedy. We usually referring to the other Bobby. Only two bobbies and comedy. Every single time I have met Bobby, he has introduced himself to me. I've met him 30 times, I think. That's got to be from insecurity. That is absolutely from insecurity. I thought it was a bit. And then six times in, I went, I don't think it was a bit.

He's really insecure around white men. Yeah, that's me. Right. That checks out. You're just very intimidating and you're so mean. The most intimidating man of the world. I feel like this is an episode where it's like, okay, we really are a comedy podcast today. We have two of the funniest people I've ever met, Caitlin Riley and Bobby Moynihan.

Welcome to the show. Wow. We did it. Bobby, we worked on a movie together last summer. Yeah. That was like the week I found out I was pregnant. Oh, no way. Yeah.

And I, okay, here's what I'll never forget what you said is that you are a girl dad times two by choice. Yes. You had a girl and then you got to choose the gender of your second child and you chose another girl. Wait, really? Isn't that amazing? Yeah, 100%. You went for the route of choosing? You took God out of it.

Every time I have sex The first thing I say is how do we get God out of it? I'm just kidding. No, yeah, we had a daughter and then the second kid was IVF and we were told this boy egg is better than the other eggs. They grade the embryo, yeah. They grade the eggs and we were like,

I mean, you're going to chance it. We're going to take a C-girl? Yeah, and I'm so happy we did because she's... That's amazing. It turns out she's perfect. You got sisters? That's so epic. That's such a girl dad.

Like, you chose girl dad. And truly nothing from a personal experience. Like, I can't think of a single more treasured relationship in my life than my sister. Yeah. I lost both my parents right after the first daughter was born. So then I was, that hit me. And I was like, no, I need them to, like, have each other. Stick together.

Yeah. You're an orphan, too? I'm not an orphan. Yes. We're both orphans. Oh, yeah. For a minute, for a minute, I was like, is that the right? Or maybe I don't sing my way.

I don't sing well. So sorry, you lost your mom since we've seen you last. Yeah. This is a comedy podcast. Yeah. She ate it. Oh, I'm so sorry. It happens.

It happens, you know. Two months before my wedding, it was crazy. Now it's getting funny. It was crazy. It's the worst. It's the worst. Is your house still haunted? My house is.

isn't haunted, but my sister's house is because my mom died there. Oh. Yeah. Oh, that's actually how you make sure it's not haunted. Yeah, I agree. Oh, okay, so it's like a protective thing. When you have a family member die in the home, that's a protective thing. Yeah, you scare off the other bad ones that could have been lurking.

Ooh, okay, that's cool. My grandparents died in my house. In your house. In the house that I grew up in. I see. And I love that for a bunch of people died in my house. No, it is. What?

No, I'm just, I mean, probably if it's from the 1920. When buying a home, what disclosures do you want to know about the home? Like, who died there? Is that important to you? I think they're supposed to tell you if someone died in the house. If it's not natural causes, right? Yeah. They're supposed to tell you?

Is that true? My husband and I were in escrow for a house before we bought the house that we have now, and they had to tell us that the previous owner died in the house. But he was older. Yeah. He died of old age, but they do. I think it's like California law where they do have to tell you. Doesn't that feel like some sort of out?

outdated weird witchy law like why why does this is important to me this is the law was made for colila i need to know this type of information i bet you it has something to do with suing them like if you find out afterwards and then you're like someone died in that house i'm going to sue you and then they're like we don't want that to happen so we're just going to well mold issues too i think about brittany murphy a lot brittney murphy died in that house and then her husband died what three months later a year later i don't know but then brittany's Spears also lived in that house. I think after Britney Murphy or right before.

Before Britney Murphy. They bought it for Britney Spears. I do not. I personally have gone deep in this. I don't think. Did we talk about this last time? I don't know. I feel like we talked about this last time.

I talk about this once a day. Right. So it's your special interest. That John Bunny Ramsey, which we will get into in a second. I don't. So Esther, you see your dream home and you're like, oh my God, perfect for my kids. I want to die here. And then one of the disclosures is.

is what do you call it when it's a family homicide no my god a family homicide like murder suicide murder suicide yeah yeah let's say from 15 years this is the best we're so fun okay 15 years ago it's a bit care what and in fact maybe I could get a little bit of a a little discount even better so how do you how do you feel about seances how do you feel about mediums coming into your home no I'm a super scared of stuff because I was raised Catholic so therefore like exorcisms and things like that like really still get to me. Yes. You don't do ghost movies.

I don't. I can't either. Ghosts freak me out. Like any type of anyone getting possessed is the worst thing for me to watch. So I am out of that murder, suicide home. I don't like. I mean, I love a ghost. I love ghosts, but they are like truer to me than anything else.

Like ghosts are so real. Ghosts are so real. literally is science. Do you have anyone in your life that you love and care for a great deal that comes to you and swears they have seen a ghost? I have seen a ghost. Okay. My mom did the same thing.

That's true. But I would, but my mom has like a story where she, she's like, she claims her father walked in, her father who had passed away recently walked in to the hospital room and said, Quanta Sabella, which is she's so beautiful. in Italian and walked out. And she's like, I can't explain it, but it happened. She's like, I don't know. And like maybe she was on, you know, like, I don't, you know.

How can men don't believe in this? How can men don't believe in ghosts? This is the thing. Every man I know does not believe in ghosts. Including Batman over there. So you've never experienced anything creepy? Not creepy, but like, do I, do I, do I, have I had things happen where I go like,

I'm going to take that as a sign or I'm going to, like, now I'm just sound like a crazy. person on here. Sorry, Alice, my sister, if you're watching this. My parents passed away and ever since that two crows follow me around and they're at my house and they won't

be around and I'll go outside to play with my kids and they come and they come hang out. Speaking my language. Yeah, it's like I don't, I can't explain it. I love these two crows. I love them because I think they're my parents. Our parents are crows now. Right? Yeah. I have two butterflies in my backyard and one is my mom

and one is my dad. My dad is the brown one. My mom is orange one. And I like to feel that that might be in some way of possibility. Yes. But it is. I've had, I've definitely had like little things happen like that, but never like, everyone was like at S&L, they were like, you ever go in the studio at night? It's haunted. Like the crew guys. And I was just like, I would go down there and like wait and nothing. Because you're not susceptible. They're not going to mess with you because you're not susceptible. Yeah. You're not open. Yeah. This got to be open. You got to be open. I got you. I was terrified at the time. You were scared.

Well, of SNL That's the scariest thing I can think of quite honestly I was always in sheer panic But never saw a ghost there I've never seen a ghost at the comedy store Which is equally as haunted I think is

SML in a much darker way Because you know it used to be a place called Ceros where they performed abortion supposedly like under the stage I've done I've been there at all hours Progressive They performed abortions at Ceros back at day? Yes. That's what they say. Yeah, illegal abortions. Wow. It was like a dinner club, right?

Yeah, this was like behind the scenes, not like, come on now. No, no, no, I know, but that's insane. Eat three meals, get a. That's very black dahlia. It's so, you know what is really weird is that they didn't used to have at-home pregnancy tests. I was just like reading this thing that my sister wrote about my grandma and she was saying like when she was pregnant, there was no test. How the fuck did you know you were pregnant. You missed a period. And then like drank milk upside down. And if you burped twice, then you were pregnant.

Mm-hmm. So aren't there, I mean, like, aren't there people who like have a child and they're like, what the hell? Oh, yeah. The cryptic. The cryptic pregnancies. Yeah. It was fascinating me.

I always thought when I was 12 years old, I was like, am I, like, pregnant? Like, this is crazy. Yes, because you think that you assume that it's probably someone who already has some weight in their torso that they can hide a pregnant. pregnancy, but no, there are cryptic pregnancies and even the skinniest people. Wait, what? Have you not seen, like, these TLC episodes? I haven't seen them, but I did audition for them a thousand times when I'm first,

they were really popping off the year I moved to L.A. Never got count. Like as a reenactment? Yes, Bobby. I know you were on SNL. No, no, I said that because my sister's husband was a cameraman for reality shows, and, uh, turns out they're not that real. Which ones?

Which ones? There was one about like Amish people who loved guns and they were like, they just went like, guess what? You love this kind of gun. And they just, they were cast and they told like it was very thing. Isn't Amish Rumpschbringer still a thing? Is what? Yeah. Yeah, like still like that you take.

And it's a year long? I think it's a year. Yeah, right? And where you can just do anything and everything? Well, they essentially go like, go see what the world is like and then come back after. What are the parameters? What are the parameters there? I'm talking like I know what I'm talking.

talking about. If you could take a year to do absolutely everything without any kind of punishment, without any kind of consequence. The purge. Like where would you start? The enjoyment purge. Purge happens. I'm getting in a box.

Yeah. Closing it. I'm staying inside. I would probably like break into people's homes and steal shit. I used to steal smoothies from whole foods a handful of years ago. Wait, that's like hard. I didn't have any money. I lived in like a shithole apartment in Glendale.

So I would just drink it before you paid. I would go into the Whole Foods. I get the green nutter butter smoothie. And then I wouldn't pay for it at the smoothie coffee kiosk. I kind of like, can I pay for it when I check out? Yeah, of course. I'll hear it. And then I'd walk around the market and just sort of like look at the quinoa and like smell the apples.

And I just kind of like, oh, I guess I'm going to go. And then I'd leave. I did this for two years and they didn't catch on. and then they finally did. And then I got caught. And then I got banned from the Whole Foods in Glendale. They banned you. That's it.

They banned me. There used to be a coffee bean, like kind of across the street. Yes. Yes. And they, a security guard followed me outside to my car. He was like, ma'am. I turn around. I go, yeah.

He goes, are you enjoying that smoothie? And I go, yeah. He goes, can you follow me for a second? And then like pulls, pulls me away from my car. It goes, you've been stealing those smoothies. you can't come here again. I was like, okay. But I feel like a security guard can't make that executive decision of life forever.

And like no one can because no one could have proved that I was stealing the fucking smoothies. You are the funniest. I love you did an impression of your younger self of doing the way. Just you kill me. It's the best thing. Just like 27-year-old me being like, yeah? What?

Thank you. Life has broken me a little bit. Angelina no one's happy no one's ever happy not a single human being is ever happy no one that's a wake up call when Angelina Julie is like life has broken me a little bit Jim Carrey hosted us and now and it was a lot of that it was a lot of like you like this show had be happy because it goes away like there was a lot of oh gosh you ever see that speech he talked about he's like I had a you know I wish everyone in their life could could get everything they've ever dreamed of so that they realize it's never enough.

Yeah. Or then all of a sudden you're here and then all of a sudden you get used to being here so you want to go here. It is quite sickening that nothing solves the problems. Yeah. Lobotomies do though. Oh.

Are we still doing lobotomies and if... I mean, who? You're right. Why not? Yeah. Just tiny ones. Just tiny lobotomies. It's going to be my crime.

Yeah, just make the needle like a little thinner, little smaller. They did that to people. That's nuts. Yeah. It's not crazy. they did it to Rose Kennedy. Yep.

That's why that family's cursed. The whole family. Interesting. Or the fact that we used to electrocute people on a chair. Oh, man. What are we talking about? It's because so much of the 90s movies that I remember as a childhood were electric chairs. Like that was a big boogeyman in my house.

I was afraid of quicksand. Yes, quicksand. Oh, yes. I was like those are two big problems for me. Were you never afraid of quicksand? No, yeah. Because I watched cartoons. Or tornadoes is one.

Tornadoes. But I'm still terrified of tornadoes. I also have to understand like I never really like went out and did stuff. So like they do all the fun stuff. And I just sat at home with great grandma and made her girl cheese. It's like I was safe, you know? I understand that. Thank you.

Yeah. You were a home child, which I was as well. But I grew up in L.A. So it was kind of a mixture of both. Do you remember how to survive a quick sand? Yeah. You don't struggle. What?

And you somehow get on your back. Yes. You try and make your surface as much as possible. You would have known to go down to rabbit hole how to survive it. How does that help? So straight. Does this always ramping? Do you know what's funny, though, is I literally already had a banana today.

I can't. It keeps happening. I can't like have a second banana. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm in a minions movie that comes out today. What? Oh my God.

So I've been just been handed bananas for three days. There's like his bananas are a thing. Wait, did you go to the event and get like the minions mustard? Oh, yeah. I will send you, give me your address.

I'll send you, I'll send you as much minion stuff as you want. I saw footage of the Minions American Idol contest. I was, I hosted that. Yeah, that was incredible. Yeah, it was nuts. They invited,

they invited some people. Some influencers to sing songs in minionese to start the movie. Incredible. Yeah, it was crazy. It was an insane day. I ate a lot of bananas with Jeff Bridges, and he taught me how to play Pass the Pigs. Let's pass the pigs.

It's a game with two little pigs, and you roll them, and there's all different kinds of, it's kind of like dice, except it's pigs. And so Jeff Bridges is just like, okay, man, this is called a snouter. This one's called a razorback. When you get this, it's called a jowler. That one's worth 25 points,

And he's the best hang in the world. I think that's my number one of who I would like absolutely fucking love to have dinner with. Within 10 minutes of meeting him, he said, what's your jam, man? And I was like, what do you mean? What do you mean? What's my jam? And he was like, I like to jam with music.

How do you jam? No way. He goes, do you draw? And I was like, I used to draw all the time. He goes, we're drawing all day today. And I have, every time we stopped an interview, he would draw something on a piece of paper, go finish it.

And so we just drew back and forth for like hours. He doesn't have a phone. He's like, I don't need a phone. Is he God? Is that like our Lord is he was a super fun hang? And also I went home going like Jeff, he just like made me creative, like made me like draw today. And like now I want to draw again.

That's so sweet. Also I'm realizing now that I relate to the 76 year old man on set more than the kids. I'm at that point in my life. Of course. Yeah. Me and him were just two peas in a pod. I'll show you videos of us just drawing. I would know I need I need I need I need great I love that question though like what is your jam well my

instinct was to say strawberry rhubarb but that's probably not what they mean I'm realizing what good choices thank you what is dance dance dance dance you like to dance I like to dance I like to sit and chat you're a chatter you're a jabber I want to just ask you question I mean what's your jam nothing I don't know swimming swimming swimming yeah water ocean yeah that's my jam you have a I think it's writing. Really? Yeah. Oh, that is a jam.

That is a jam. I've been really jamming with that lately. What are you writing? Projects and things. I'm just working on a couple different scripts right now, actually. Things that I can't necessarily discuss at this time. Things that will be coming to fruition. Your 12 women show.

Yeah. The 12 angry jurors, but they're all my different personalities. I'm really intrigued. I've never heard of this concept of drawing, passing it over, like back and forth drawing, like quietly. That is so, it's very intimate. He drew, he just drew like a couple lines. It was like, what do you see?

And then handed it to me. And then the next one he goes, now draw something real and I'll add to it. And I drew a ninja turtle. And he drew himself underneath it wearing it as a hat. And he wrote a bubble that says, look, Bob, I'm wearing a turtle as a hat. Oh, my God. And it's one of the greatest thing. I will never throw it away.

You have to friend. I love him. He also drew it. this crazy thing and he goes, this is my labyrinth. I made it when I was a kid and then showed me the entry points to the labyrinth and show, and he, and he, and, and, he just drew this thing that he's been drawn since he was a kid and showed me. And, like, he was just like, wasn't that fun? Like, wasn't? And then Pierre Coffin, the guy goes the voice of all the minions and is like a fantastic artist was like, what are you guys doing?

And Jeff Bridges just drew three lines and he made this like woman's face out of it within seconds. And I was like, this is the best press day I've ever had. in my life. What a magical man. That sounds like a good, like fun thing to do with your kids. There's some really magical stuff going on on the Minions Press Store. Thank you for, thank you for agreeing. There's some really, really magical stuff happening, guys.

That's incredible. It was nuts. But I'm realizing I have since we did that, I have done it with both my daughters. And I got past the pig and taught one of them how to play last night. Okay. I do, I want to ask you, like, What is your survival guide to, like, getting married? How did it go?

What happened? A lot happened. Yeah. We got married in our backyard, which you think would be easier. It was not. We have a pool. And so we had to cover the pool and make a floor. And that was really hard.

And it was every, literally everything is five. thousand dollars yeah and then if you're doing it in your home that's not a rental space you also have to bring everything in so we had to bring in power in the backyard we had to put up lights i had to rent napkins and forks and glasses and chairs and vase it like i had to rent everything the tables weren't the right size i had to make sure the table class there's nine different variations of tablecloths for certain sizes of tables oh my god so we had to cover the pool that was at least $5,000 and then they had to empty half of the pool.

They emptied the pool water on the front lawn, which then killed the grass on our front lawn where we were getting married. So I literally yelled at this group of guys doing this labor in my backyard, and then I felt really, really bad because I'm yelling at people who are doing manual labor on my property.

Like, who the fuck do I think I am? And then, yeah, and then my mom died. And that was so, fun and honestly honestly and like her passing was beautiful and like it was beautiful we don't you know whatever it's fine but I was so pissed because I was like you really have to make everything about you in like in a crazy spiritual way but yeah and then I went on my honeymoon to Maui to a hotel that I used to go to all the time with my parents growing up and I thought it was going to be really special and beautiful, the resort had changed quite a bit.

It was now sort of like carnival cruise guys, but on land. It is the Western resort at Conopally Beach on Maui. So like in the 90s, Conopally Beach was really chill, really beautiful, very zen. It is not like that anymore at all. There was constant like corporate music playing from speakers all over the property at all times. When you said that, the first song that came to on was feeling hot, hot, hot, for some reason. There's also like every Thursday, non-upon-st-point Dexter.

I wouldn't be mad at that. Yeah. No, every single, every other day, it would be like, I got a feeling. Oh, no, no, no. It was genuinely, like, I was so, I was genuinely so upset that we were there that I would, like, cry silently. But I didn't want to tell my husband, because he's like, this is great. I'm feeling great.

And I didn't want to ruin it for him. Your impressions of all men. They're so good. I just hate, I do hate men like a lot. I get it. I get it. That's why I had daughters.

I love my husband. And I like my dad. I loved my dad. I tell my daughters every day. I hope you meet a beautiful woman someday. Yeah. No, I like genuinely hate men.

Like I attacked you the second I got in here. I was like, why are you in charge of the thermostat? Who the fuck are you? They're not freezing when I came in here. No, you guys are awful and create war and like you kill and rape and ruin everything. Like, I don't understand. I don't get it.

I don't like it. I literally all die. Some of us, some of us just keep to ourselves. Right. Yes, for sure. You Jeff Bridges, you playing pigs. Yeah, Jeff, yeah. Love them with all my heart.

Yeah. But yeah, so I hated my honeymoon so much. And then the second day I was there, got a UTI. I've never, I haven't had a UTI in like maybe 12 years. I was got at UTI the first nights of my honeymoon. Had to go to urgent care. Had to go on antibiotics. So I was on antibiotics.

And then that next morning, I was really sick from the antibiotics. And my husband was like, why don't we go on a parasail at 9 o'clock in the fucking morning? And I was like, I don't want to upset my husband. This is his honeymoon, too. And he's like having the time of his life. So we go on this parasail. I feel like I'm going to shit. I feel like I'm going to puke.

My vagina's on fire. We're 1,200 feet in the air on a parachute. And that's when I discovered that I was afraid of heights. I didn't know that. Someone you don't know is driving a boat. Someone I don't know is driving a boat and he's like 23. And trailing. That is the craziest thing in the world to me.

It is. It's awful. It's crazy. It's awful. I'm kind of like sliding out of the harness. And I look over at my husband and he goes, I love you so fucking much. It was like the best day of his life.

It was the best day of his life. He was like giggling in a way I've never heard him giggle like a child. Like it was crazy. And I'm never going to do it again. How are you able to not ruin his day? Like I don't you feel it's so. I ruin his day all the time. Like literally all the time.

Like if the woman is having a bad day, the man is having a bad day as well. Yeah. So that was, that was amazing of you. That was real honeymoon treatment. I really wanted, I really, you know, you think about your honeymoon your whole life. At least I did. Like for a really long time, I thought I was going to marry Hayden Christensen. Oh.

For like a really, like a really, no, like a really long time. I really thought, like when I see a picture of him out present day and his, guys, I do feel like I am coming across footage of an ex-boyfriend. I saw him at CVS like three months ago. And I came around the corner and my brain, yeah, my brain just went, that's our theater. Like, I don't like, it was like that, like, my nerd brain just, and like I froze. Because I was like genuinely like, holy, holy, holy, he's going to kill you.

You're scared. He's going to kill me. No, no. But I really did freeze. I was very shocked. Also, shockingly handsome in me. Yeah. I know he's beautiful.

I think about the show that I did when he was 19 years old back in Canada called Higher Ground. I think about that. I think about the fact that I like still know his birthday. Like I literally still know his birthday. There was a website. Uh-oh, there was a website called Desiringhaden.net. I'm looking straight at the camera. And I would go on the website every day.

And there was a quiz on the website. Have I talked about this before? No. Okay, there was a quiz on the website. that was like would Hayden fall in love with you. And I took it every day. That's so evil. That's evil.

This was like 2003. And I would take the quiz like repeatedly until I got like, oh my, oh my God. Oh no. The visceral reaction you had to seeing this again. Oh my God. Oh my God. Wow. It looks very professional.

It's still up. Oh my God. Wait, the last entry was April 19, 2012. which is his birthday. Are you okay? Do you have any entries? No, I'm not okay. Wait, go up.

It's so nice to be here with a pro. This is crazy. Yeah, no, I know this website very, very, very, very well. At one time, I knew the names of members of his family. This is, I really shouldn't be sharing any of this. No, this is like how, this is really not okay. How I memorized, like, speeches in Titanic thinking that, well, yes, that's how Leo and I would connect.

Because it was been 84 years since the ship of dreams. You know, go on. You wrote letters to Leo. I did. He didn't write back. I pressed flowers for him. Yeah. And I sent it from the Philippines.

I spent all of my hard-earned money to pay for postage. And I got nothing. You're probably too old. You're right. I was only 12. But I remember pressing flowers, quoting the movie. It was, I know. I think all girls have.

to go through this like painful delusional like crush era. Did you have this? My daughter kind of had like her, I don't know if you call it a crush, but she, she's very infatuated with Eddie Munson from Stranger Things, like the bad guy. Oh, yeah. Like the guy who he's in. Chrissy wake up. Yeah, the guy who's in Fantastic Four, he pursuant court.

I don't know his name. John. He's amazing. But like, I like that she picked him. I like that she picked him because he like, she's like. he doesn't do good things dad like he drinks alcohol but he helped everybody and like he saved that girl like it was like and i'm like i'm glad i like i like you're i like where this is going but that's really sweet maybe think about 11 too that's crazy to me that's gonna be nuts i can't

even go there i i have this new theory though about leonardo decaprio where i'm like think of the platonic friendship you could have with leo like he's not interested in in you at all. He's so smart and cool. Like, you guys could just, like, I just feel like he and I would be best friends. I do sort of have, like, a daydream about that where, like, I'd love to work with him one day. And it's like, don't, like, wouldn't touch you with a 10-foot pole. Like, I just want to gab, my guy. Like, I just want to have dinner and, like, laugh at stuff. Taryn Kill him, or again, Kobe Smolders, his wife, had an apartment in New York right across the street from the World Trade Center. And we went up to his rooftop.

up and he goes pretty crazy you know and there was just like a long a window like a giant window with a long hallway but you could see into the hallway and it was beautiful and I said I was like like who lives there because like there was an elevator door and a long hallway to one door and he was like Leonardo DiCaprio lives there and before the tea in there the door opened and he just like stepped out and walked down the hallway and got in the elevator and so I always think he's magical like he heard us. Yeah. They were like, yeah, he lives right there.

And he just appeared and then went in the elevator and left. Was he dressed like Jack Dawson? Like, what was his vibe? His vibe was very like, I believe he had a hat. He's always wearing a hat. I know. He's literally always wearing a hat, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was crazy. I'm like, yeah, that's him. Well, he's a colleague of the industry, of course. And so, you know, I don't want to sit here and like pontificate about, like, who he, at the end of the day, guys, like, I don't want to be weird. Like, he is like a person. and like I'm not going to sit here and like be weird. Have you never seen Hayden in the wild?

Okay. So I did see him at the Grove when I was 14. And I knew that I manifested it because that was like the height of my obsession. And I was inside the movie theater at the Grove at one of the kiosks getting movie tickets with my friend. And my friend was well aware of my obsession. And she turns around and she goes, oh my God. Oh my God, it's him. Oh, my God, it's Hayden Christensen.

Shut the fuck up. Oh, my God. I thought she was messing with me because she would do that a lot. And I looked at her. I was like, shut the fuck up. It's not Hayden Christensen. I turn around. It is him.

He's standing there with a taller guy who I knew was his brother because I knew what his brother looked like. And I start to hyperventilate and I'm like getting the tickets and my hands are shaking. And I think we had bought tickets to see. I think it was like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mine. This was like 2005 or something like that. That's the scene. And at the same time, the movie Taxi was out with Jimmy Fallon.

I'm looking at you. Because I'm Queen Latifah. With Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah. Hayden Christensen and his brother had bought tickets to see the movie Taxi with Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah. And I figured that Hayden Christensen was friends with Jimmy Fallon because they had just filmed a movie together called Factory Girl, starring Sienna, about Edie Sedgwick. Wait a second. That's the movie that Brittany Murphy's psycho scary husband claims to have written. Oh, really? Full circle on the pod. Are you serious?

You guys, they're here. Full circle on the pod. The ghosts are here. That's crazy. He wrote that? He like says he did, but it was like a lawsuit and it was like a scam. It's like a really, it's like he used that credit to like get in with her, but it was sort of like fake. Oh, my God.

Oh, I think I like this dude. Is this a seance? This is crazy. I bet as a ghost is a jerk too. I have a goosebumps. Anyway. So, so humiliating to say out loud.

So I snuck into the taxi movie theater where I know that he was in with his brother and I did the thing that a 15 year old would do where I walked in and I pretended to like look for my friend. Because I wanted him to notice me. And I was wearing a pink von Dutch t-shirt. So I walk in and I go, Sean! Sean

And like the movie started There's like 12 people in there And then I sit down like the whole time I'm kind of like looking around Being like Like really just trying really hard To like maybe he'll see me And maybe he'll be like

That is the most stunning 15 year old I've ever seen I have to talk to her And then we left Because we were told to leave By one of the ushers The movie theater ushers Oh That guy sucks

Because we got caught, like, sneaking. Yeah. You get caught a lot. I know. I'm not good at it. I'm not good at it. How did you get caught? Like, I feel like my whole childhood was my parents buying tickets to one movie and then us seeing like three movies that day. That's what I would do too. I think I just have like an internal Catholic mentality where like lying or deceiving is genuinely very hard for me.

So I'll start to. I make it obvious. I make it very, very obvious. Yeah, you're not chill about it. No, not at all. And then I start to get anxiety. You don't have that. Jewish chill about you.

No, I do. I do not. I do not. Sadly, I do not. You guys, I love cash app. It is so easy to use. Sometimes some of us can fall for certain scams. Like, you know what scam I definitely fall for?

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way. This is so annoyed. Is that the kind of relationship that you did have with your mom where it was like, oh yeah. Really? Oh yeah. Wait, say more. So my mom loved her. She was a magical dynamic human being, but she was a raging narcissist. So it's, it is. in perfect fashion that she decided to die two months before my wedding like 1,000 percent the same week that I had my bachelorette party was the same week that we had my mother's memorial so like Tuesday was my mother's memorial Saturday was my bachelorette and I was just like my friends were just kind of like holding me up I was like that's crazy yeah I forget do you have half siblings I do from your only your dad or from both parents

So I have two half sisters from my dad's first marriage, two half sisters from my mom's first marriage, and then Brady Bunch, and then I came out. Yeah, okay. Can I ask a personal question? Do your father, your father's still around or no? No, he passed in 2021. Okay. I'm an orphan. Yeah, see.

Yeah. My dad was super sick his whole life and then. Oh, really? Well, alcoholic, just like, you know, kind of that stuff. And then, like, it was always like, it might happen. Oh, wow. Like, there was a lot of that for many, many years. And then once I, my wife got pregnant, it was like he was like, he turned, like he, like he, like he started saying like, I'll stick around for that.

And like, six months later, like he just, that was it. Like, he saw the first kid in there. He was like, thank you. Wow. Like that kind of thing. And like the last time I hung out of them, there was a little bit of like, oh, like, this is it. Like, I'm done kind of thing. And then six months later out of nowhere, I got a phone call from my mom.

She's like, I'm in an ambulance. I don't feel great. Call your sister. I was in Los Angeles. She was in New York. And that was the last time I spoke to her. She had got sepsis during the, or she had to have like an emergency surgery and just didn't make it. This is six months after your dad died? Right after my first daughter was born, it was like bang, bang, like sit a couple months apart.

I'm probably getting exact times wrong, but it's somewhere around there. I think about like, because I just had a kid. Is there a little bit of like, this is so fun. You know, it takes, I'm not saying it takes away from the grief of it all. And maybe it adds to it. But you have this, like, huge responsibility of, like, keeping this baby alive that maybe kind of, like, aren't able to, like, tap into that grief almost, like, immediately. Yes, 100%.

I didn't deal with it until much later. And then now, the hard part now is the three-year-old is the eight-year-old, we have a picture of them with the eight-year-old, like when she was a baby. But the three-year-old has no context. So like she'll say grandma and grandpa about her, my wife's parents. And then I get like, and don't forget, be me and bot. Like I keep reminding her that I'm, but like, I'm doing it too much because now she's going, but like, where are they? And I'm like, I can't explain death to her like right now at three. Like, so like that part stinks. Or you, or you go like, oh, I thought getting like getting that SNL job was the important thing it's like that like they could

have cared less about that like it's like it's like I just wish they could have met my second daughter also I would give up everything for that yeah like that that's where that's where you start to yeah comedy comedy podcast yeah but that's so real no I know I'm relating so much to this just because my dad lost both of his parents like long before I was born and I feel like I grew up with him always just telling me like how much because they would have loved you because he was their only child and when they died like he was a single guy in his 40s or like they're not having grandkids whatever because I grew up with these people that I never met but always being told about them how much they would have loved me I literally like grew up without love yeah like I had

these imaginary people that I'm like oh they would love me more than anyone in the world could love anyone. And like so I just feel like that has given me so much in my life. I think my kids think they're birds. Like they think my grandparents were birds because we go outside and the crows come and I go, hi, me, hi, Bob. And they go like, what are you saying? I'm like, not, don't. I think it's, they think I'm from birds. Yeah. Yeah. I think that too because, you know, having my husband and I are wanting to have a kid and like the fact that my child will not know my parents is crazy. It's crazy. because like both of my parents specifically as all people are they were such large people

large personalities had these big huge lives they were also nine foot two both of them yeah they were both like nine foot two large 600 pounds each um physically large as well they both were sumo wrestlers no but it's just it's it's such a crazy concept yeah it's like and i'm sure i'll cross that bridge when i get there but i'm sure it's just like wild because it's also so much a part of you as well. Yeah, it's nuts. Not here anymore. I also like never.

And it's never coming back, Bobby. No, they, uh, trust me, I know. No, they, uh, I was in my 40s. So like, it never, like, it didn't dawn on me until like a year ago that my, I was like, my dad was 13 when his mom died. Like, you know, like, like, I knew that information, but like it never, like, I, I, I think of him as a complete, like, you know, like a real human now that I'm a father. Like, you go like.

Exactly. Oh my God, they were just children who had no idea what they were doing. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's just like... Yeah, like sometimes I feel too old to be so fucked up about being an orphan. I'm in my 30s. Like, I'm okay. And I think about some people, it's like, oh yeah, both of my... Like, I watched, recently watched the Martin Short documentary, which is incredible. Oh, God. You guys need to watch it. But he lost both of his parents and I believe his brother. By the time he was 19... A lesson in grief, that man. Yes. And has this whole... whole like he has very much like a life filled with very intense grief. And it was fascinating. So I was like, God, if I lost both of my parents and a sibling by the time I was 19, like who would I have been? You know what I mean?

Like it's just, it's fascinating. And it's life. You know, at least for me, I, like you said, like your parents are always these like 2D figures in your life where it's like just mom and dad. And you don't see him as like full human beings with a whole life story outside of just like mom and dad. So for me, when I gave birth and I saw my son, I wanted to get to know my mom again in a way that I was never interested before. Yeah. And that is where I feel like, I'm not saying like you're going to be sad about it.

But that is where I feel a little bit of sadness for you because, you know, I feel lucky that at least I get to like learn about her. Yeah. Now I have this like interest because I'm like, I understand you better now. I kind of know. Yeah, you complete. Yeah. And then you have millions of questions that you'll never get to ask. And like that gets crazy.

I have less of an understanding. Really? Now that I have a kid. Yeah, I'm like, who are? Here's a video that you recently posted of your, of the exchange that you had with your sister about your mom and then you made your mom read it. Made me laugh. Oh, I love you.

So hard. Oh my gosh. That was so funny. She's weird. But you lost, I mean, you lost your dad forever ago. Forever ago. And you've never really talked about. having a kid and like that experience also my dad was a hundred million years old

so it's kind of one of those things where I knew no one on his side and not to say that there isn't like a whole lot of like interest but I kind of made peace with that I knew that I had an aging father I a very old was he when he were born he had me in his 60s so he passed away at 80 when I was in high school my dad was 55 when he had me. Yeah. I don't think you're an old dad. Yeah, I think you are.

I was in my 40s. I feel old. My mom's father was 72 when she was born. Wait, what? My mom's father was 72. Yeah. She had a, I think she had a sibling that, like, lived and died that she never met because he was gone already. Wow.

You had that, too. They were old Italians. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, like, my first cousins are, like, 80 years old. Yeah. And so I made peace with that for a long time.

I'm like, I just don't know if I'll ever really know that. side but I knew my mom's family and I watched her grow up when I knew my dad he was already well into his like 70s so it wasn't someone I saw morph into different versions of himself he was in his like final form yeah final form but my mom I saw her as a young mom I saw her in her 30s I saw her in her 40s and it's just all of those periods of time I was just this selfish daughter who didn't want to she was just mom and she was annoying and she was a bitch and I was a victim of her. Well, we all.

Yeah. We all are. Yeah. But when I had a baby, I was like, okay, like, who are you? Like, let's start from scratch. And I am so, I'm so much softer around her now and she's so much softer around me. And I really, that's been the one big surprise about, like, having a kid. I just want to be clear.

I have none of this. None of this at all times. I saw my sister go through motherhood alongside my mom. And that was not that experience. Well, you said she was a raging narcissist? She was. She was a very complicated human being. Yeah.

Her life on this earth was very difficult. So I think if you believe in any of this, I think her passing was her finally kind of like relinquishing her last bit of control. Like I'm done. I have to get out of here in a way of love. And truth be told, like. if she was still around the day of my wedding, the whole day would have revolved around her and her comforts and her wants and needs. And weirdly, because she wasn't there, it was almost, it was almost kind of like a gift. I know that sounds fucked up. No, that makes

sense. I know that sounds kind of fucked up. But it was almost like, I have to go to the other side now. like your life is for you. So when you have a narcissistic parent, when a woman has a narcissistic mother specifically, my entire identity as a woman really, like fully revolved around my mother. Like my life, like it was very complicated. My two sisters feel the same.

Like it's almost like her leaving this earth was like, was like a relinquishing of control. Like you're like you're like you now. Your life is yours now. And so on, on. On my honeymoon, the last day that we were there, I was sitting on the beach with my husband, this beach that I've been going to my whole life as a child with my two parents who are no longer here.

And it kind of felt like, even though I had the most annoying honeymoon of all time, it kind of felt like I was supposed to go. It was supposed to happen because like that, like a chapter's closing. I'm an adult now. They're not here anymore. So much of my life was wrapped up in my parents' relationship. and I had no idea where I was in any of it. And so now I have to figure out who I am as like a person as a woman, as a partner, as a future mother, as an artist, as like anything and everything.

You're so right how your story wraps up because it's like going to that resort. The resort and it not being what it was. It's like that famous saying like there is no there there. It's like for me because I'm always trying to go back to something that's not there anymore. And that's such a, like, that's such a true experience that I've had where it's like, you go somewhere and it's like, whether it's corporate now, it's not there. Yeah. And I cried when they changed the interior of the Wells Fargo on Larchmont.

I literally, it used to be like, like wood with like green carpet, very 90s. And they made it like a gray white box. And I cried like because of grief, I think, where I'm like, everything's changing. That's a real thing. I think there's like a Welsh word. I mispronounce it every time. but it's Gloria Vanderbilt's favorite word, and it said there's no there there grief.

Oh, yes, hooray. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. Where it's like a longing to go back to a place that no longer exists. Yes. Oh. I was showing you guys. I collect things.

I collect a lot of things. I have my entire life. And now I, it's like a, it's like a, I've dedicated a room in my house to it. And I used to love it. It's like where I go and I have my peace. but now with the kid I walk in there and I'm done it's gone

like it's gone what do you mean it was like the LA fires happened yeah and my friend Taryn kill him like lost his house and stuff like that and every time I go in there I go like this means nothing like it means nothing why did I I enjoyed it it it was a hobby

but like ever since kids and that like I just have this weird thing now where like I walk in there and like I kind of like I'm a little bit like I don't need any of this anymore. I don't need anything anymore. Do you feel like it's related to the Jim Carrey thing of like get everything and it's meaningless or do you think it's different than that?

I think I think I changed as a human being after kids recently. I had never treated myself well and stuff like that. And now that has completely changed. I live my life completely differently the past couple months. I had heart surgery a couple weeks ago. Oh my gosh. And like now it's just, well, I'm heart surgery. Open pelvis surgery.

They went in with here just like a two. I've had that. Oh, yeah. I had an ablation. Wait, you guys are ablation twins. Yeah, I went for a colonoscopy. Did you have, did you have them? Did you have an arrhythmia?

And I was like, why? Did you have an arrhythmia? A-fib. A-fib, yeah. That's no good because it can cost clots. It was crazy. And then, and it, But and like the four days leading up to it,

it was like because my mom died of sepsis in the middle of a thing, I all of a sudden was like, what if I don't come back? Like, what if my kids? Like, you know, like, and like the last 30 seconds of looking at that thing and went like, I had a good run.

I hope these kids, I hope I taught them enough. Like, and it was like that kind of knocked me loose and like quit a lot of things. Yeah. Lost a bunch of, well, I'm still trying, but more, you know what I mean? Like, and now live. a very

can't believe I treated myself the way I did for so long because of like how maybe some things my dad said that he shouldn't have or or Lorne. No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. No, he'll sue you. I know. I know. That's kind of beautiful though.

But yeah, it's like everything just flipped. I love you and eat your stuff now. I don't hate it. I just I look at it and I see that boy that loved that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're disconnected from it. Well, this is like me when I after had my daughter and then I look at this $3,000 purse I bought and I'm just like, what the fuck was wrong with me?

Who the hell was running this company before? Yeah. She's fired. That's a fantastic way to put it. I'm still wildly selfish. I'm not a parent yet. We're under new management right now. I'm the only non-parent here.

So I'm still looking at $3,000 bag. Ordering food delivery and only back those trees for me. Do you feel? better after your ablation? I didn't feel anything before it. Like they told me and I was like, I believe you because you're a doctor, I guess. Oh, you couldn't even feel that there was. I didn't, I didn't know if I was. I've been a chubby, unhealthy man for most of my life. And but then afterwards, like, woke up and went, oh. Really? Oh, I feel, I feel wildly different. Like, it was, like, the only way I could explain it was I would start at a six and now I start at a zero. Yeah. Like,

if that, like, I wake up and I'm like... Fixing pain? No, just like, everything was this. Everything was like, gotta get it done. Like, you know, everything was like... S&L. Like, it was just like, da, da, da, da, da, that. Always.

And I was always like that. And then ever since the ablation now, I'm just like, what am I doing, man? I got time. That's why I'm very calm today and having caffeine to try and wake myself off. Like I, oh, which I shouldn't be having caffeine. You can. You shouldn't be having caffeine.

You can be having caffeine. Because your a fib is no longer. Yeah, I know. I went for the refurb. explain what a fib is to us? Yeah, it's just, well, you can probably. No. I can't.

Somebody asked me where did you get it done. I was like, I don't know, I don't remember. The way your heart beats is ran by one electrical pathway, and it should only have one electrical pathway. It beats simultaneously here and here. That sometimes people have more than one electrical pathway, and they have different names to that. I had, I didn't have a fib, but I had one called AVNRT,

and they basically go. in there and they burn that extra electrical pathway or that weird rhythm that shouldn't be there. So does that make sense to them that like before he had this fix that he would be more like I don't know if that's the case or not or if it's just like it's over so I feel more relaxed and I'm also treating myself like I have you know. It's more like spiritual. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

But I feel very different after the fact. But AFIB is a little bit different because it is more of an emergent thing. because it can cost blood clots, like over time. I waited like nine months to get an appointment. And they were like, it's so far away. So I waited like so long. Were you awake for it? Because I was.

No. What the fuck is going on? What? Yeah. And what's crazy is because they have to find the faulty rhythm. So then they have to pump you with like adrenaline. So I was awake for the fact that like my heart was going like 300 beats a minute. No. No.

And then they were like, how are you feeling? And, you know, you have people there. And then they find it and then they just ablate it. Yeah. It's crazy. I'm nasty. I was home at 8 p.m. They just did it real quick.

And I'm just like, that's it, huh? And you get a tiny bruise. Well, mine was a big bruise. I had, yeah, from here to here and here to here was just bruise. That was the heart. And then the only thing that hurt was I had all these cuts, all these cuts in my mouth. Like my mouth was all torn up because they had. Oh, the intubated you.

Oh, my gosh. Literally, oh, my God. Literally, oh, my God. I think yours was a lot more intense than mine. You had like the hot girl. I had a hot girl. Very different bodies. As you're going out and I was very nervous, I noticed that the technician had a tattoo of a

cartoon that I was on. And I went, I was pan, pan. And I just keep thinking that if I had made it, that would have been it. Like me going like, remember me. Oh, sad. I kind of love that bad. It's all about that delivery. It's like I was showing off as I went out.

Ever the performer. Also, really good to tell people that they might know you right before they're about to just manhandle your naked body for four hours. Yeah. Such an idiot. I recently made myself a donor on my drug. license, but I told my husband I was afraid to do that because if you put donor on your driver's license, then maybe they won't save you. That's what my sister told me.

I think that's fake. I know it's fake. Worse yet. I saw it somewhere on Reddit and I saw it on Reddit and I was like, that makes total sense. It's fake until it's not. You know what I mean? Apparently, majority of donors are women and your donors go to men. Your body parts.

Oh, no. Absolutely not. I'm changing that immediately. Yeah, your organs go to the men. I'm about to flip the fuck out. Are you kidding? You guys treat yourself better at. Get the fuck out of here.

Are you kidding me? And my husband made me do it? Fuck you. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. I'm changing it immediately. I could donate my organs like as a doorstop, I think. Like no one's going to want them.

Like they're just a mess. Look at this. Yes. Significant gender disparity exists. Men are much more likely to receive organ transplants than women. while women represent the majority of living donors. Oh my God. That's just...

You know what? Fuck you. You're not getting my fucking liver, you fucking loser. I don't care what anyone says. My organs are mine. Bye. Wow. Literally by.

At least that's the only thing wrong with the world right now. Oh, thank God, right? You know what needs to happen to Caitlin? And I don't want to put this curse on her. Don't ever. She needs to have a son. Oh, okay, so this is what I think. I've gone to three psychics in the last 10 years.

I thought you were going to say much shorter period in time. No. And all three psychics said I was going to have a son and that the son was going to be gay. So it is kind of like the best in both worlds. Yeah. And I don't think, like, I don't think I could have a straight son. I think energetically I would produce a gay man. I see that.

I can see that. I keep thinking like, there's no way I was having boys. There's no way that you were going to be the father to a man. Wait, I have both, though. I have one of each now. And I was kicking and screaming. I was depressed my whole pregnancy that it was a boy. Wow.

And like, I think I was pregnant and I was so excited. I was 100% for sure that I was going to have a second girl. And that's why when you were telling me you had two girls, like I was just, yes, manifesting. I couldn't believe it. And now, of course, that my son is my husband. So now you have sitcom. family. How we, oh, a boy and a girl.

Older daughter, younger son. I have an older sister. I have an older sister and it's great. You feel like he's going to want to think, you know, like he's going to, he's going to be a better boy because he has an older sister. I think older sister, younger brother is the best. Yeah. My sister and my mom raised me.

Like, you know, like, you know, like dad was around, but like, it's a good thing to him. I love that like seeing you however many months ago during a movie and saying like oh I'll do it with Caitlin's the best for no reason and that that's stuck and that all we've talked about is our dead power. I do feel bad. I do feel like I tend to do this when I am in a podcast or a group setting. I do I literally feel like at some point someone is going to talk to me about their trauma and I welcome it. I feel like I bring it out. Then it's all of us. It's just Bobby is the odd man now who we're torturing.

We're torturing you today. He's here for minions. That just happened by accident. The movie millions is out right now. Go see minions. Go see minions and monsters with your parents. Yes. Because I can't.

Because we can't. Wait, I do want to ask you, though, like, okay, I don't know what this says about me, but I'm so scared that I'm going to be a narcissistic mom just because I feel. like my world tends to revolve around me. I don't think so. But that, I just that sentence alone. Exactly. Already.

What if I'm tricking you by saying that? No, there's there's there's like a playbook in how narcissism manifests in people and it starts at like the age of three. Can you and so explain to me what like an experience of your mom being narcissistic and like how that I'm just curious what that looks like or is that too hard of a question? Oh God, where do I start? Oh wow, where do I start? Okay, so I would say that every single boyfriend I ever had who broke up with me, most likely broke up with me because they couldn't wrap their head around the fact that they would have to potentially be the son-in-law to my mother.

Oh, my gosh. Like every single boyfriend I've had the first time that my mom ever met him, she eventually would. would get too drunk and then she would cry and say, you're gonna marry her, right? You have to marry her, you have to marry her. You have to marry my daughter. You have to marry her. We have to see her get married.

My husband's getting old. Like it was every boyfriend. Yeah. I bet you that's exactly what she sounds like too. You're amazing an impression. Like every holiday, a fight would break out before the holiday and then the holiday was canceled, but then it would be back on.

Yeah. Every one of her birth birthdays was like kind of like the worst day of the year. There was like a stress of like what do we get mom for her birthday? We have to make sure it's right. If it's not right, it's going to be really bad. What else? Oh, there was one time.

So like I had ADHD in high school and I was put on riddle in and I was still doing really bad in biology class. And so my mom called a parent teacher conference with my guidance counselor and my biology teacher who was like a really sweet like 23 year old girl and my mom comes with like a clipboard of all of my grades in every class before I started taking gridolin and all of my grades in every class after I started taking riddle in and how my grades quote hadn't changed in biology and is screaming and yelling at my biology teacher saying that she's failing me on purpose because she's jealous of me and then my biology teacher ran

out of the meeting crying and then I had to go to school the next day and first period was biology and I had to go up to my biology teacher who my mom made cry the day before saying you're failing my daughter on purpose because you're jealous of her because she's beautiful and I had to go to my biology teacher and I just say so sorry that I was just too. I think you're really cool. I don't think you're jealous. Oh, my God. And stuff like that.

Isn't it crazy? Like, you realize like some of your, like, those teachers were like 20-year-old? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm in my third. Like, that was like a young 23-year-old woman who just like. That's a child.

That's a child. Oh, my God. I have so many stories like that. That is, wow. Thank you for enlightening me. Of course. Did you all grow up in California? No.

No, no. We grew up in the Philippines. But you moved here like 14? 15? Wow. Yeah. I grew up in Illinois. Gotcha.

You're from the Midwest, too, right? New York. Oh, I grew up in California. Thank you. The first time, I feel like the first time I met anyone who had like was born and raised in California was Andy Sandberg. He was? Orange County, I think. Oh, wait, I think northern.

I think he's from the Bay, right? Yeah. Or I'm not positive. I don't remember anything anymore. A big energy. Yeah. But I, that. He was the first person where I, like the concept of somebody who grew up in Los Angeles

has a certain vibe to them that I enjoy, that I love. They're very, it's very different. It's not a New York vibe. But like, so whenever people tell me, I go like I grew up in Los Angeles, there's, I think there's 20% of me that goes, I knew it. I knew it. That's great. And I feel comfortable around you because of that.

Yeah. I think like, Angelinos don't really know how they're like native Angelinos. We don't know how we're perceived because there's such a, it's confusing. Yeah. But I love homegrown Angelinos. Yeah. Like I really, really do my best friend was born and raised here. Like there is something truly special about a born and raised angelino.

There's a chillness. Yeah, there is. We are different. I think it's the Southern California vibe, right? Yeah. Yeah. It is more chill. And it's hard.

Like I literally grew up like in Hollywood, like off of Melrose. You know, like my dad was like a soap opera actor. I know. Very strange. But there is a, there is a chillness. Like the L.A. that I see and experience is very different from like, it means to Ali to like sort of get into like Instagram a little more.

Yeah. You know what I mean. I spent the last three days with Jeff Bridges and he changed my life. I know, but he was like, I live in Santa Barbara, man. Yeah. It's the best. Like, and like I can't explain it. But like anyone, like that tone, like, you know, it's like New York.

is more like what yeah okay like you know it just seems less uh not friendly but more like we can be friends but also go fuck yourself yeah there's a grid system here yeah like it seems more structured i love new york so much but truly like i've been as a child i've been as a young adult i've been as an adult and every single time i'm like i can only do about three days um we have only talked about our parents death and horribleness and the topics are la ha girls wearing sunglasses, shitting on the floor at concerts, and I don't know if I'm supposed to say these, but it's killing me of what we were supposed to, maybe supposed to talk about. The only reason we were, the only reason we were going to bring up the shitting on the floor at

concerts while waiting, you know, to get to the front is because it's very estercoded. Why? What? What? You love, your fantasy is to like live in diapers. You are, no way isn't. By hearing a pad right now. Me too.

urinary incontinence. Oh my God, I love. Do you leak? No, I'm on my theory. Do you leak? But I do have endometriosis and so now I'm wearing a pad. Oh, I see, I see. Do you know what that is, Bobby?

Mm-hmm. Okay. Okay, I feel like we are running out of time. But before we go, I want to diagnose Bobby with something that I just thought to diagnose him with. Okay. I think you have Big Brother syndrome. Yeah.

What's that? Okay. My husband has, and that's how I know about it and I have Big Sister Syndrome. I think that you, like, really want a big brother. And that's what's what you. going on with you and Jeff Bridges. Oh. Oh. I would say father.

But I do get that. I love a big brother. I love a big brother. Tim, you know Tim Robbinson? Tim Robinson, you ever heard of him? So funny. Tim Robinson was like a young dad. Like he had, like he was like a younger dad.

I don't know how to explain this, but from the second I met Tim Robinson, I was like, she would like I felt this very like I 100% understand what you're saying I have this odd feeling of like I hope he likes me you know like I want him to like me and then Justin Justin Bieber came hosted from what I understand he doesn't have the best relationship with his parents and you can watch the feed in your dressing room so you so like they're rehearsing and there's a live feed and you can watch it so you know where to go and you know and all that stuff and I just watched him go like so I hear you're a good day Yeah. And like I just watched him like, Tim Robinson has this thing where people just like,

fall in love with him because he's the best. Like, and, and I definitely, he's daddy. I never tell him this. I'd set it on a podcast. But like, yeah, like there was, I definitely. This is going to be clipped. I definitely have that with a couple people in my life. Yeah. Yeah. I enjoy that. So your husband wants to have a big brother. I also desperately want a big brother. I've never heard that term. before though. I think maybe I invented it in my marriage, but because I have it so bad, because I have an older sister that, like, locked me out of her room and, like, wouldn't let me in and wouldn't let me

near her bed because she said I would get my dead skin cells on them. So I'm like, I, every one I mean, I'm like, are you my big sister? Are you my big sister? Like, he and I both have that. I always wanted a big brother. That's weird. No, it was my biggest, it was, it was my biggest dream as as a child. I wanted a big brother so bad. You had four sisters. I know. There was too much, There was too much feminine energy. I wanted a brother. I wanted a brother. That's why in theater school,

like, all my friends were guys. I was one of those. Wait, I'm so sad we're out of time. This has been so illuminating. And we learned about heart surgery. Narcissism. We learned about our grief. Organ donors.

Before you sign us off, I was just wondering, there's a page here on the Hayden Christians in sight. We're wondering if you could send us off with a little poem. I thought you were going to say she wrote it for a minute. Well, they probably don't have the one I wrote up there anymore. This is a poem from the desiringhaiden.net website submitted by Kayla. The title is The Only One I Love Tormenting My Very Soul. I hear your voice clear and smooth, your eyes so deep and intense.

I see your face, it's every groove. I feel your heart beating near, and yet you are far away. The life I live without you is a life so dark and gray. I find the days are passing. With each, you are more a dream. The things you said run through my head. Never just words, do they seem? You're my guardian angel.

My gift from heaven above. Tormenting my very soul. You're the only one I love. You know what I find interesting about that poem? Not one mention of Star Wars? Well, no, no, no. There is a Yoda. There is a Yoda saying,

Never just weren't today. Like, she got it in there. Kayla did it. Oh my gosh. We have to find Kayla now. Was this in 2012? We have to find Kayla. Yeah, we have to find her.

See where she stands on Hayden's. Comment below if you know Kayla. You guys, where can people see more of you besides minions? Yeah, minions and monsters comes out today. Oh, my gosh. I'm also in minions and monsters. Yeah. I'm one of the...

Monsters? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me too. I'm the, this, like a little claw thing. Yeah, it has the claw, and so I'm uncredited, but I, with the team, the dumb, set your line. Ooh, ta-tabee. It's that.

So I'm doing that. But yeah. I'll be on the lookout. Yeah. Thank you guys for being here. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. I'm going to be I'm going to be

I'm going to