Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Cancelled Chronicles with Brooke Schofield and Rudy Jules

Episode Date: August 19, 2025

JOIN THE WEIRDEST PATREON EVER: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast  Our hilarious little sis Brooke is back with us gals for her third Trash appearance & this time we brought our other favorite gen z girly - rudy jules. Fresh of her engagement 💍 Brooke, Jules and the gals talk loving mayo, growing up with lice, the cancellation of cancelled, which of the gals would survive the Titanic and much much more - it’s a juicy one ya’ll! 🍑 Thank You to Our Sponsor(s):  IQBar! Text TRASH to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply. www.eatiqbar.com/  Hers! Visit www.forhers.com/trashtuesday  to get a personalized, affordable plan that gets you. *PRETTY LITTLE BABY TOUR* Esther is coming to a city near you! Grab your tickets now at www.prettylittlebabytour.com   *Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com *Visit Ebb Ocean Club & Holiday Shop* https://www.ebboceanclub.com/ for Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products! FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday  MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/  MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A   PRODUCTION:Production Team: Tiny Legends, LLC:  https://www.instagram.com/tinylegends.prod/ Stella Young: https://www.instagram.com/estellayoung/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Edited By:Arielle Jade: https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ 

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anywhere for that matter. And they have gummies for literally everything, immune support, menopause relief, PMS symptoms, mental clarity, sexual arousal, and each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown on small, family-owned American farms. No pesticides, no BS, and they can ship to most states in the United States. Best of all, not only does Mood stand behind everything with an industry-leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but as I mentioned, listeners get 20% off their first order with Code Trash Tuesday. So head to Mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with. And remember to use promo code Trash Tuesday at checkout to say, You literally stayed up all night and watched every episode. I did. I started it at like 8 p.m. And then I finished it at like four. Wait, I definitely am having like a romanticized view of that, but I would just fall asleep. I don't understand how you stayed up. No, I was so into it. I mean, I am really off timing because I just got back from Australia. So I'm like completely upside down. Oh, yeah. But I usually can't. I say I fall asleep at everything. Wow. I'm like really impressed at your

stamina. Oh, thank you. I took an Adderall yesterday, too. That's an important detail. Very important detail, actually. Now that I think about it, like, that's why. Shout it to our golden slug, Brandon. Guys, we have a Patreon. And the truth is, we just recorded a long and deep episode for our patrons only.

And it was the four of us. And it was really intense. And if you want to listen to that, that will be the bonus episode this week. Check it out. us out at patreon.com slash trash Tuesday podcast or the link below. And we have new bonus episodes every week. It's a little extra juicy. It's a little bit more of our unmasked version of ourselves. And I think it's our best work. So let's check it out. I am on tour. I'm so excited that I will officially be going on tour this fall. Starting in September, I'm going to be in Madison,

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to bring that back ASAP, but we still have a ton of detanglers. There's some masks left. They're equally amazing. Go get shores at ebbocionclub.com. I've been watching movies lately, and I, why is that funny? Because it's different from like the 90s. Well, I'll do you one better. I watched the original Planet of the Apes. it's so good but then you realize there's like literally five sequels not like of the ones in the 2000s but like the 60s and 70s they the sequel is the worst movie i've ever seen in my life like it's so crazy how many weird like alien turns they make and i'm just like why does it have to be like this i've never seen it i feel like i've never seen any of the classic movies at all did you see the planet of the apeate like the new ones you guys i went to arc light and watched all three in a day i'm such a nerd Really? How can you do that? How can you watch all three in a day? Well, you take bathroom breaks and you just eat popcorn. Well, they play them all at once?

They're like one after the other, yeah. Wait, oh, that is weird. How do they do that? Yeah, no, it was like a big event. That's why it's a nerdy. And then I went and I sat through nine hours of Planet of the Apes. I completely admire that. Thank you so much, Brooke. They have, um... I missed you.

What's coming? Oh, Back to the Future is coming back to theaters this year. Can we go? Yeah, I really want to go because I will, First of all, I've never seen it, but my fianc- Oh, my God. I know. Would you love it? It's like my comfort movie. I watch it like multiple times a year.

Wait, really? You know, my fiance's dad produced it. What? Yeah, he made Back to the Future. Oh, my God. But I've never seen it. And like, I want to see it. I saw the, like, making of back to the future, but I've never seen the actual movie.

Wait, where is the making of? I want to watch that today. I think it's on Netflix. But I watched it because I feel like that makes me more interested in something. Not that I wasn't interested in it. No, it's so fun. But now that I know it's coming back to theaters, I'm like, I can't watch it until it's in theaters. Like, I need the full experience.

Okay, part two is my favorite. Really? Yeah. I would love to watch, like, all three in one day. I feel like that's what's going to happen because it's the 40-year anniversary. Whoa. I remember for the 30-year, I think we went and saw it in the theaters. Really?

Yeah. I love that you love it. It's nostalgic to do that. And it's fun to do nine hours. I do like to feel like I'm a part of something. Yeah, it felt like a community. Anyway, is your fiancé a Nepo baby? Yeah, I guess.

That's so cool. But he's not. Like, he is, but he's not. No, I think nepo babies are cool. I'm sorry. No, I think it's the best. I was really searching for one, to be honest. I was just kidding.

Her fiancé's dad was a producer back to the future. Oh, my God. I know. This is huge for you. I know. I love that you love it so much. Like, that's her most favorite thing. Is he still alive?

Yeah. Can I meet him? Of course. Oh my God Absolutely Does he have any like stuff From the set or I'm pretty sure he has like

All the like memorabilia and stuff I know I just want to see it I want to like look at it Because I remember when I first moved to L.A There I was so mad The fucking MTV VMAs had a fire And it burnt down

The original stage of Back to the Future Like it burnt it down like Whatever the town square And before up until then Like you could go and see it And then like in some like in 2008 or 2009 it burned down and they're like they never rebuilt it no god that's horrible i know an update from jules she's supposed to be here but she texted me that she has diarrhea so

which is great honestly so relatable i know but also really good news for her because she's a constipation queen oh good yeah no i'm really happy for her that is really exciting don't lie you had a diarrhea weekend yeah yeah that's true last saturday you gave me the play by play i forgot i haven't had it in a while i enjoy it okay we've been like talking about this like literally i've been like laughing to myself at how crazy what's going on with you is that like so many people are willing to like judge you and your engagement. I'm like, can you imagine if in real life someone was like, here's why you're making a mistake in your life and I don't know you at all. Like it's been like I'm like in shock about it. Like people are unhinged. It's dark, but I deleted TikTok. I'm just,

I'm ignoring it as far as I know everyone's extremely happy for me. I think it's over. But there was like a moment where I was just like people are I know I feel like I'm kind of get I get in trouble for everything apparently I have the worst boob job on the planet that's the new thing I'm like they're supposed to be big let me go on record they're supposed to be this big people are like they're so I'm proportionate I'm like yeah that's like the whole thing it's not like a mistake the doctor made yeah I want to be built like an air pod that was literally like my in my inspo but yeah I just wanted to like to let you know like there's real adults here supporting you being like you can't say those things to people like it's so weird and rude it is just i think it's kids like i think it's like

teenagers immaturity like yeah people who just don't understand how the real world works and it's like you just can't control someone else's decisions like you're an adult so you get to do what you want i think it's part of it is like my history of bad decision making especially in like in terms of like choosing a man so people are like girl but even if you didn't have that they'd still come for you i promise you you know it's just part of it it's just you make peace with it and you cry alone in the dark and then you just come out of it i do a lot of crying alone in the dark i'll tell you that much that's hello hi jules congrats on your diarrhea no it's huge wait nobody should you guys all match each other and wait do we're just sloppy me sloppy girls no stop i'm literally

starstruck I'm obsessed with you that's okay it's okay how's your butt it's like leaky oh no that's the worst I'm sorry Jules it's okay but are you happy you're pooping yeah because I haven't pooped so like this morning like my farts were like crazy it was so deadly and then I woke up at 6 a.m. and I just kept that's good girl get it out yeah what do you do you think there's something that triggered it Well, Tito Bobby bought this, like, cake last night. From? I forgot the name, but then I woke up to eat it at, like, 2 a.m. Oh, that'll do it.

Wait, what? That'll get you. You just wake up at 2 a.m. and have cake? I felt hungry. I miss being young. And, Tito Bobby was like, oh, like, have the cake, because he's also awake. He just had cake for no reason? He's always buying, like, pastries and cakes, and it's so bad.

But he's on Ozmpic. This is unfair. How's he doing that? I don't know. He's on Ozmpic, and. And he eats like a half of a bite and he's like, I'm full. I think he just likes knowing that delicious food is around him. He can't even really have it.

Yeah. I feel like that's like a plus of ozempic though because you can have it in front of you and you won't go crazy. So it's like I might as well just if I'm going to only eat a few bites, I might as well have like a hamburger. Yeah. You might as well have the craving. Yeah.

Have it max it out as something that tastes good. So I'm a really big believer in like you have to eat what you have a taste for. Because if you are like, let's say you're craving. like I don't know and Taco Bell nachos bell grande with extra mild sauce like if I really really want that but I'm like no that's bad for me like I'm going to eat something else the other thing that I eat is not going to satisfy the craving and like I'll just end up eating more of the wrong thing yeah or I'll still end up eating what I wanted to eat and then now it's like oh I've done too much yeah so I'm like a big believer in like eating what you have a taste for me too so if anyone wants Taco Bell after this I'll be there

It's my dream. You're so weird. The nasty shit that you eat but thinks spam is disgusting is, like, weird to me. What do you have against spam? Thank you, Brooke. I don't know what it is. First of all, it's in a can. It's meat in a can.

McDonald's literally doesn't go bad for a century. By the way? It might as well be all canned food. By the way, my Taco Bell order, I get beans instead of meat. Disgusting. Sure, the beans are made from a powder mix, but it's not the meat. I feel like meats can be very. scary. With spam is so good. I guess I've never tried it. I'll, I'll try it. Really? Have you had

like Spam a Subi? No. That's how you have to try it. I'll make one for you. Is it like a hot dog? Okay, that's the thing. You eat hot dog, baloney, all of the like process other stuff, right? I hate that you pin me for a baloney person. You're not a baloney girl? You do kind of give baloney. Oh. No, I got me fun of for eating it in elementary school and I stopped eating it. Really? Yeah. But you're the Oji Bologna girl. Okay. So why am I the Oji? No, no. Can I tell you why Bologna? Can I tell you why Bologna is actually baloney the stigma against baloney is is bullshit because it's like mortadella it's the same thing but like rebranded as like italian deli mortadella versus baloney which is american shit meat but they're very close in constitution i will say though a hot dog i mean i'm from chicago so it's like a hot dog with all the like all the drippings like that is the best taste but i i do feel

it's like the condiments that make it i don't know do you guys eat hot dogs if you're not from Chicago? Oh, I eat hot dogs. Do I eat hot dogs? Where do you get a hot dog? A Dodgers game. Oh, yes. The Dodger dogs are the best. So good. Or just honestly, I don't care. Oscar Meyer. Light me up. Oh, can I challenge you guys to eat a specific kind of hot dog? There might be a very carcinogenic red dye, but the Filipino pure foods, ultra-red hot dogs, please give it a try. I would love to. It's so good. We throw it in spaghetti. Oh.

My mom used to cut up hot dog. and put them in my macaroni. That's, whoa. Yeah, it's like one of the only nice things she did for me. That's all she needed to do.

Yeah, that was enough. That's enough of a childhood memory. I agree. In Chicago, we have the Vienna Beef factory, but they, in the hot dog factory,

they have a cafe. So you can literally just go to the hot dog factory and order a hot dog. And like, it's just so good. But I think they, and it was so cheap, too. It was like a dollar.

It was the best deal in town. That's how I feel about IKEA. Yeah, like the cafeteria and I came. I'm like, I will go to lunch there. What? I went there twice last week. Oh, I thought you were going to say you disagree. I'm like, no, no, no, no.

No, it's so good. Like the little meatball Sunday. I love a meatball. Do you get the 8, 12, or the 16 meatball? Because I always go full 16. I feel like I'd probably go like 12. Okay. At the most.

Or mid-range. What is the sauce? Is it like a sweet and sour? Gravy and then, but you have the lingon berry. And it's just a cafeteria setting. Whether they'd put little Swedish flash. on the meatball yeah and then it's like eight dollars for like three people to eat it's crazy the mac and cheese is so good you're correct i i say give it a try wait i didn't know this

your baby daddy is Polynesian he is a mix he's Hawaiian Filipino Chinese because you know Polynesian is my favorite Chick-fil-A sauce that is oh so good can he make it let's do you want to ask him yeah okay oh my god he doesn't even know what chick-fil-a is what he's like you know You found him in the forest. I found him on the beach, Kay. Ben? What happened? Esther has a ridiculous question for you.

But humor her. Aloha. Okay. Okay. Is it true you're a Polynesian? Yeah. Okay. Why is he laughing like he's going to kill me?

Okay, that's my favorite sauce at Chick-fil-A. I've never had a Polynesian sauce at Chick-fil-A. Actually, I never, I don't think I've been to Chick-fil-A. See? That's what I said. They don't have it in Hawaii. Oh, no, they just opened one. Do you know what a Polynesian sauce is? Do you make it? Or is that made up?

What does it have coconut in it? No. Wait, wait. Let me guess. Pineapple in it. Closer. It's like sweet and sour. Yeah, a white person made it up. A white person made it up. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I love you, babe. Thank you. Bye-bye. Thank you. It's made up. It tastes so authentic. Authentically Polynesian. It's so good, though. I don't care if it's

authentic or not. Thank you. Is it your favorite sauce? It's my favorite sauce. It is good. It is good. Okay, you could have said that. I could. I just can't. I don't think of it as like, ooh, the taste of the islands. I don't think it when I eat it. I just think, oh, this is good, you know? It's got me trained. Oh, it's so good. I have a question for the group as someone that has a mayonnaise sandwich with nothing in between.

That's, you have a bit of me. I just love you, I think. I love you for this. Oh, yeah. You guys. Do not encourage her. Wait, you don't like mayonnaise? That's it. She's saying it's just mayo. Yes. Well, do you ever like at the end of a sandwich, like there's no meat left and then you just love the little bite that's just bread in my... A little crispy, a little soggy on one part of the bread. I used to do this as a kid. We had this a mayo with relish and it was just that on the bread. Delicious, Stella. Wow, we're friends again. Shut up. Is it in your bag? It's just bread. Is it on an English muffin? Yeah. Oh my God. I'm obsessed with you.

Well, there's cheese on it today, but last week I was eating it in front of guy and he got really gross because it was just mayo. I don't judge you at all for that I had a mayo like like a version for a while because I had lice when I was younger and my mom used to put like if you put mayo in your head that's what we did too

that's what we do in the Philippines God you are trash you are like yeah I had lice like 12 years in a row anyway you're like literally like from the Philippines or something I love that so but they put

yeah they put mayo all over your head so I remember I told my mom one day I was like do not put mail on my sandwich and I went to school and I was like this is the most disgusting thing I've ever had without mayo yeah so now it's mayo only mayo always i first of all i just want to say i love mayo i actually went through a really dark period when i was like 11 years old and i thought i was on the subway diet and i realized that like if i took mayo off my subway sandwich i would save calories

meanwhile it was like 70 pounds and a child so then i like train myself to not like mayo and then years later when i had mayo again i was like mind blown it's so good so good sandwiches needed What kind of mayo? Because in our household, it's Kupy. Oh, okay. Asian flex. But there are levels to the game. But also, I don't shit on any, any mayo, by the way.

And let me be very clear. Mayo is not a condiment to me. We put it in steamed fish. We put it in everything. We bake with mayo. So, like, it's not just a little ancillary thing that exists. Like, this is our whole heart is made of mayo. I just use regular, like, classic American mayo.

But I do love whenever I have the QPie mayo, the Japanese name, right? What is, do you know what the difference is? I actually don't. I just know that it tastes better, especially when we have like. I just trust them more. Do you remember when that like bowl was going viral? Like the salmon, rice, all that was like Emily Mariko. I ate so much QPie mayonnaise.

I was like, I almost died, I think. Now back to your lice. Oh. Because I had obviously lice a lot as a kid and had the mayo head as well. I have fond memories of having lice. Okay. You like, I liked, I liked being doted on. It was like the one time in my childhood where there was an adult being like,

let me go through your hair and pick at it and comb and find like insects in there. And it was a very like sweet kind of bonding thing we did. When you go to school and then you're just like full of lives and it's like falling. Yeah. I got there too where it's falling. Yeah. But I had like the opposite experience. I was like traumatized by it because it was my big.

secret like I never wanted my mom to know I like hit it yeah because I was like I had it so many times and it was like such a traumatic experience every time she's ripping my hair out that I was like I'm not telling her this time I can carry this through adulthood how do you guys get it I don't know you know what I want to know where the hell is the lice now where are they where are they now I haven't seen anyone with lice in years but it was such a prevalent part of my childhood I'm like I thought everybody had life I think when you're in really like hot hot weather and wherever lice thrive Maybe it's a kid thing It is a kid thing

Because as an adult I've never had it But the one time I saw Jules This ass get beat by her mom Oh my God I mean she wasn't even How old were you? 16 was your mom used a brush That she used on someone with lice

Her sister with lice And she used the same brush on Jules And Jules was like take that shit out of my head It's going to give me lice I saw her mom physically whip her With this wooden brush Like not other parts her body, whip her in the head, like

just lashed out on her head. Your babysitter, honey. Yeah, I'm going to say, this is who you send to watch my child? Yeah, beat the shit out of her head. Well, I'm really sorry that happened to you. I feel like I... That's a dark story. But, you know what? When I found out I had a personality disorder was when I, like, I would brush through my hair

and anytime I couldn't get it through, I would get so frustrated, I would start beating my own self over the head with the brush. What? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. Sorry. I had to get that out. I have a question With your lice Like create like wounds

And then they would go under And burrow? Would they burrow into your scalp? I mean I'm sure they did I had it for I truly like probably six years straight Wow Where I like I just couldn't get it wasn't until I moved in With my grandparents that they were like

We gotta get rid of your life Aw And they figured it out How? My grandpa got it out the first time My mom tried so many times It was like I felt like I just could never

it was it was just a part of me the mayo doesn't technically kill them the mayo just like like puts a little glob and you can it's easy to comb it off but the you have to kill the eggs right and it's like you know you have to really throw everything out and get rid of everything I had a sister and she always would get it so like we just pass it back and forth it was just a mess bugs are so disgusting I know and they were just they were living with me for a long time but you never had crabs I've never had crabs I've never had crabs I don't I don't even understand crabs because it's like, can't you just shave? I've always wondered that too. Yeah.

And what do they look like? Do they look exactly like head lice? Why are you looking at me? Oh, sorry. I have a big bush that you've seen. I have no hair for them to live on. The bush is back, by the way. Is that really true?

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there's a gummy for anything that I'm going through, whether I have trouble sleeping, whether I'm dealing with EMS. Whatever it is, they have the gummy for you. What makes these different is how they've paired THC and other cannabinoids with herbs and adaptogens. You're just not going to find gummies like this in a dispensary or anywhere for that matter. And they have gummies for literally everything. Immune support, menopause relief, PMS symptoms, mental clarity, sexual arousal, and each one is crafted using federally legal cannabis grown on small, family-owned American farms. No pesticides, no BS, and they can ship to most states in the United States.

Best of all, not only does Mood stand behind everything with an industry-leading 100-day satisfaction guarantee, but as I mentioned, listeners get 20% off their first order with Code Trash Tuesday. So head to Mood.com, browse their amazing selection of functional gummies, and find the perfect gummy for whatever you're dealing with. And remember to use promo code Trash Tuesday at checkout to save 20% off your first order. I was just wondering if you guys think we would survive the Titanic. I know you won't survive You're lacking nutrients

What would you say that, Jules? You hate the water, it's cold You don't know how to swim You're gonna die You don't think I could get on a lifeboat I don't think so I can tell you why you would survive Because you wouldn't get on a boat

To begin with You're saying, oh You wouldn't go on a whatever Transatlantic big body of water trip And its first voyage No way Get the Kings worked out Esther would never step foot, not even in a harbor.

Really? No, I'm so scared. And Dave is still mad that when we were in New Zealand, like, we didn't take this, like, just this really nice, like, dinner cruise thing that he really wanted to do. I was like, it could sink. And then, like, we watched it from our room, like, go out on the sea, come back. And he was, like, so mad at me. But my anxiety would not let me get on it. Okay, I will say after rewatching Titanic, that when you see how scary it is to get off of a luxury ship,

And onto this tiny lifeboat, because you think about the Titanic and like, we know everything now. So we're like, get to the lifeboats right away. Like, that's what you want. But when you're watching it, you're like, I would rather stay on the sinking ship because you don't know for sure what's going to happen. Your survival, your survival hunt, you're. But the lifeboat looks so scary. But you're talking about tons of steel and wood. You'd rather go down with that.

That's, I don't understand. I wouldn't. But like, let's say maybe we're not sure it's going to go down. like they're not telling us and we don't know like okay i'd rather stay on this warm nice ship then rush into like this tiny little boat in the middle of the ocean with no plan yeah i guess if you were on it you like we can see it from the outside if you're on it you might be like confused i would have gotten on a life boat but i have like no real will to live i was like like god forbid i'm on a little dingy i don't think i would have survived because i don't think it would have been able to afford

a first class ticket i feel like those are the people who got out first i feel like it was the poor people who died But that's just based on the movie. But some of, like, the pretty poor women were able to, like... Really? Yeah. Yeah. You could suck and fuck your way on one. Okay.

You don't have enough time to suck and fuck. How long did it take for the actual Titanic to sink, though? An hour and 40 minutes. Yeah. Maybe it's like an I-O-U. You better get quick with it. Find a dude. And how do you know which dude to suck and fuck?

You can figure it out. You already know the captain? The captain went down with the ship. He's not helping you. You got to figure out the sketchy ones, the shady ones. I would do a handshake deal. like I owe you one blowjob later two maybe I would just be like I'm a child and then some man would pick me up and put me in and everyone would believe you yeah I don't think I'd survive either why I'm anemic I get cold

oh I get so cold it was cold I just went to the titanic museum and you can like put your hand in the water which one I didn't do it I don't know why I'm lying I'm literally lying I couldn't find it anywhere but I heard it's cold where did you go I was in God I forget where I used to even was but it's where the Titanic took off oh it's so sad that i don't know where that was but it was on tour so it was somewhere wait that's so cool yeah i'm if you're cold intolerant it's over for you right like i'm so cold intolerant i don't like the cold i don't if you're huddled up with the other passengers on the lifeboat it could be warm um it's cramped on there yeah i like broke i wouldn't have had i wouldn't have been able to afford the expensive ticket i i i wouldn't be fast enough to find a guy

to suck and fuck i i i just i disagree with your Okay, I know how to swim, but there's new, your swimming abilities. You said you're a strong swimmer. Yeah, you're a survivor too. I am a survivor, but I'm telling you guys, like my level of cold intolerance is terrible. You know, there was a guy that was so drunk that he was one that went into the water and he survived because the alcohol kept him warm. And he was like one of like five people to be pulled from the water and live. Do the you would survive?

I feel like because I look like a jungle monkey. they won't let me in the boat they won't even let you in the boat they won't let me I don't think that's true I do 1912 1912 yeah that wasn't a good time

that wasn't a good time for us Jules yeah what about me I'm a Judean only Brooke can survive she's white with tits I'm marrying a Jewish guy you are pretty much Jewish

you're gonna have a little Jew baby yeah oh my god I'm so excited But yeah, I guess I would have, maybe I would have survived. Would you guys go on the sub that went under to, like, where everyone died? No. I would not in a million years. No.

That's like some next level, like, you have so much money and you've seen too much and you have no more dreams. And that you're like, let me just do this one stupid, super risky thing in a submersible. And, like, yeah, that's beyond. In defense of the people that went down on it, like, Like, oh, that sounded sexy. Like, if you see an official, like, adventure that's, like, being presented by this guy that seems like he knows what he's doing, like, there is really no reason for me to go, like, oh, maybe this is, like, fake and going to break, right? Like, I don't. You as Esther, because you didn't even go to the New Zealand dinner cruise.

That's me. But, like, I just feel like when things are so official like that, I see why people are like, oh, yeah, why would this be dangerous? Yeah, I have blind trust in everybody and especially like somebody who I know is like this, you know, billionaire engineer. I'm, why would I think he's wrong? I think it'd be so cool to see the Titanic too. Me too, but you know what my question is? It's like, what's the difference? Because they, I think they see it like when they're down there on screens.

Because there's like only one little window as far as I'm. Do they just take turns, you mean? Yeah, but it's like at that point, it's like I can see it from, you know, above ground. If you're just looking at it on a screen, send a probe down there. Yeah, but if you are looking out a window and suddenly you see the ship, that would be sick. Again, why is it so cool to see a sunken ship full of bridge people from 1912? Like, what is that, why am I going to risk my entire existence so I can have a peek at a vessel? Let's say it wasn't risking.

You weren't feeling like, oh, this is going to risk my life. Like, then what do you feel of it? What do you mean? Then it takes away like the thrill, right? Like I think that people want to do that because it is very rare and thrilling and possibly like, you know, on safe. Really? I'm thinking like, no, it's like this majestic, magnificent thing to see like a shipwreck. Like there's something like scary enough about them that they exist to me.

I will give you that. I love a shipwreck dive. We have many shipwreck dives in the Philippines. They're beautiful. There's a ton of fish. Yes. They're like a haven for fish and wildlife, right? that is shipwrecks are all about

I would go for that reason to see like a fucking anglerfish but not like a ooh eerie vessel that went down like I have no interest in that see I'm like dark and morbid I'd like I want to see it bad but not bad enough to implode or spend like

$300,000 or whatever it costs Is that how much it cost? I think it was like $150 or something I would have totally been on that really? Yeah wow girl I would if I was a millionaire I would go down there in a second Oh my God, I'm happy that you didn't get the chance. Well, I don't want to see you implode.

I watched Titanic 20 times in the theater. Really? You beat me, I think. It's a long movie. You really do have a lot of stamina, movie theater stamina. Yeah. Would you guys spend $13,000 to get microplastics out of your body? That's the new thing people are doing.

No, because I think that's probably not. Fake. Yeah, I think it's fake. I do not fear microplastics in any way. In fact, I welcome them. with open arms yeah this sounds like something

just so like a scam it's a scam like how do they it's like we just learned in the last few years about microplastics like existing like

whatever as much as they do in our bodies and I just don't believe some like random like inventors or like cute Instagram girlies figured out how to solve the problem

I want to know how they do this is it like more of a dialysis have we looked into this yeah So they basically take out your blood. They run it through a machine, probably like when someone gets dialized, right? And then they reenters your blood. It doesn't sound good.

There's a filtration system. Yeah, that sounds. There's probably microplastics in the tubes where they go out in and in of your body. I just know that I would be still subjecting myself to microplastics after that. So it's like, what's the point? Because you can't not. Like you have no choice. You have, there's no way to live without being exposed to microplastics in my

experience. I would do it because I wouldn't want plastic in me. Stella, you do, if I was a billionaire? I don't, I mean, I want plastic in me all over it the more plastic the better. I'm like, look at Kylie Jennery. Does anyone have an opinion on Long John Silvers? I haven't been to one since I lived in a really bad neighborhood in Vegas. That's so interesting. I had, the last I had it was when I lived in like a horrible neighborhood in Phoenix. Like, Mary. Maryville in Phoenix.

Yeah, I feel like my mom had it. They only exist there, right? Maybe, but it's like a grandparent thing, I think. Or, like, my grandparents liked it. What did they serve? I think, like, glorified fish sticks, if I'm not mistaken. Wait, let me, I want to call my dad and ask him if he's ever had it. I remember it being okay.

You've actually had it. I think they have good hush puppies. Yeah, that's their thing, I think. What is a hush puppy? It's supposed to be deep fried, like catfish, right? Yeah, I guess. I don't, I don't know if I, I can taste it in my head, but I don't know if I know what it is. Oh, really?

I don't think a hush puppy was a deep-fried catfish. No, it's like a deep-fried cornbread. I'm new to seafood, okay? It's not seafood. Well, I just want to say that. I feel like there might be some fish in there. I think it might be like fish in something else. Hushpupy sounds like a dessert or something.

Did you guys ever have Olive Garden? Oh, did I? Oh. Cornmeal. Yeah, so it's like deep-fried cornbread, you guys. It's so fucking good. I remember the wrong hush puppy. Yeah.

But I was going with it. I was like, yes, that is what it is. You were like deep-brived. Red Catfisher. Dad? Yeah. Have you ever had Long John Silver? A fish place? Yeah. Yeah. Is it good? Well, it's fried in oil. Oh. I liked it. Mom doesn't like fish. No, chicken plants. Chicken plants. Yeah, she likes anything fried. Yeah, she likes anything fried, but it reminds her of a donut. Okay. All right, that's all. I love that he just doesn't even question you. I'm shocked that he didn't tell me I have to do something for my taxes or something.

He's your dad your tax guy. No, but his best friend is my accountant who's kind of like my own closest thing I have to an uncle. But Dave doesn't want him to be my accountant anymore because he's blind and he eats pot edibles. I will say blind kind of, it does feel like that might affect being an accountant. I know, but he seems to get it done. But how do, how? Are you anti-disability? No, oh my God, no, please. It's the last thing I need on my resume.

But I do question that, like, who's crunching the numbers with him? He actually has a Filipino assistant. Oh, you know, that guy I trust. I do, too. Me too. When I was little, like, I went shopping once with my dad and his friend, who's now my accountant. And I remember, like, we were at the Gap factory. outlet and he started taking off his clothes in the middle of the store to try the clothes on

like in the middle of the store and they're like sir do you want to dress him he's like no that's okay and then also we went on a trip to new york to see a broadway show and as you were leaving arnold my accountant was picking up the empty bags of candy that people left and eating out of them but how did he and he invented something called hall food which is where when you're staying a hotel and you go and like take the people who put their food out in the hall and you eat it I don't think he's blind I think he might be fooling you

no he's losing his sight now in his older years yeah this was when we're younger so I was picturing him just yeah but there's a lot why Dave wants me to get a new accountant we'll see about that I feel like Arnold is just you

in older men form yeah there's a lot of influence there and you're loyal to you you see yourself in him I think oh my God you've really got me figured out this many episodes in, you're just, I don't even need to show up anymore. Wait, Brooke, are you still supporting the little Filipino girl? Yes, I am Marianne in the Philippines.

Although, you know, I don't know a lot about her anymore because it's just like a subscribe and so it just comes out of my account and I don't really know how that affects her, but is that like Kiva? I love her. Remember back in the day like Kiva payments where they would, he could support like this woman who wants to start a farm or wants to buy like 10 pigs. and they just take it out of your account. That's what I used to do, like, a lot.

And I used to love it because they would, like, pay you back. And I hated it when they would pay me back. And I'm like, please don't. Like, just take it. Why would they pay you back? Because that was the whole thing. It's like you help them set up this business. And then once they get their business going, they pay you back what you.

And it was like, no, please don't pay me back. That's sweet, but no, thank you. Yeah, I think it's similar to that. She should I don't think she has a business I think she's like 11 but but she had she like wrote to me I chose her they like ask you they got me outside the grocery store and they were like do you want to support a child and I was like honestly yeah and they asked me where I wanted her to be from and I said the Philippines so then they chose her for me and they sent me like a pamphlet with like all of her information and her photo and she like wrote a little thing and it was like

thank you and her name is Marian have you like a face timed with her no I haven't but I need I really I want to check in on her because we talk so much about her it's like I I I I created this huge persona for her and I hardly even hear from her. I just want to make sure it's not a scam since you did find that person outside a grocery store. Yeah. I trust those people. I mean, I don't talk to them, but they seem legit.

I think about her so often that if she were a scam, I would feel like it would be like Clinton Kane all over again. That might be like a new trauma for you if Marianne doesn't exist. Well, he was so he was Filipino. That's why I chose a Filipino girl because I was like, I don't know, I really wanted to like. Connect? Yeah. I think so.

The canceled podcast is ending soon, like the end of the year? No, we actually, I think we have like two more episodes that we're going to do. And then it's over. Whoa. And do you know, like, what you want to do after? No. Help. I'm like, I don't know what I want to do.

I think I'm going to take a little bit of a break, like a few months where I just don't really do much at all and reassess. Training and become a professional ballerina. Yeah, pick up some hobbies, find myself or something. Why are you guys ending it? It's just a dark world now. It's like not, it's not fun for us anymore. It's, we've, I think the show was so toxic and we were so toxic and inviting all these, you know, people in who've really like that. And it backfired.

And so we just get so much hate now. It's like really, really like too much. Yeah. I would do another podcast. I just think I would, I would want a smaller audience. Well, welcome to trash. You said. No, I don't, I don't know.

I would I don't know what I wanted to do it just got too big is that what you're saying yeah it was just so nasty like the the response we started getting to it and like obviously you know I got like so irreparably canceled anyway I think it was just like that carried over and it never quite went away in that world I don't believe in irreparably canceled God I hope not but I think there are plenty people who should be irreparably canceled and they're still not irreparably canceled oh yeah the actual ones the actual people that deserve to to be never seen again are still not canceled. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how it works, but we had to get out of there. I was, it was dark. I feel that. I hear you. Jill's, I don't mean to put you on the spot, but you're a Brooke fan, right?

No, I'm a you fan. I am. I'm not kidding. We watch every day. Really? What do you watch? Bad friends. Oh.

Sorry. Yeah, no, it's okay. No, no, no. I still work with my ex. Oh, okay, okay. I love him so much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I never know, because my exes won't even be in the same room as me.

No, I'm headed there right after this. Oh, good. If you want to come and be on the show. No, I would be too scared. I'm not kidding. I couldn't even be in that room. Like I'm, I know. I would be so scared.

Oh my God. Bobby is like the, like you guys share similar traumas. Really? I saw him one time on the street and I almost said something, but I was like, I can't. No, we're dirt bags. Like, we're your flavor of people. But I love that. But anyway, I watch you all the time.

I watch you too. Wait, she was the one who gave me the whole Clinton-Cain breakdown. from beginning to end and she gave me a whole like dissertation of like this is like really deep into it so that's how I like got caught up I still don't know it at all I know you don't know any of that I know so it needs to send me a link oh god truly I made a 14 part series truly high level entertainment on I made it on TikTok that was like my big thing my biggest thing honestly I made it 14 part series it got like 200 million views I'm not kidding Calmoa Harris used my sound Stop Why it was like my big thing That's how I got cancelled so bad Because I gained like a million followers in a week

And then That's what that's what happens When you gain a million followers in a week You get cancelled Look at Love Island Yeah Jules what did you think of all the Clinton and Kane stuff

Oh I hate him And also he's still making like music And then like always posting on TikTok Is that how you knew who she was No I just saw the TikTok of you doing it And then her and I, because her and I were like, Jules, Clinton can't be Filipino, right? And we were like, oh, my God. And then we started being like, he can't be one of us.

He can't be one of us. Because when we followed your whole thing on TikTok, and then we found out he was Filipino, we were like, fuck. He thinks he's so handsome. He's so ugly. Yeah, I was, I was confused. Like, in the moment, I did not think he was ugly. I, like, really didn't. But now I'm like, oh, no.

You just sometimes put on goggles and you're like, he's so hot. Like, I've done that with, like, pretty much everyone. I've ever been. Yeah. Kalila, you once called my ex. Colila said he has big hips and I've never. Did he have childbearing hips? But that's a me thing. I don't, I don't think most women care that a man has curves. I personally care when someone is a thin man and he's got a little bit of hips. That's a very like specific to me kind of like, ick. Like it's high, I don't think, I don't know if I've ever seen that. The thing that I love so much about it is he had such a big crush on you.

So when you said that, it felt so good. Wait, who had a crush? Oh, you're my ex. I'm sorry, Stella, that your man had a crush on me. Oh, it's okay. It happens. But did he have hips? He had big hips, a butt.

And Bobby, the first time he ever met him made fun of his legs. Bobby is obsessed with men's body. Obsessed with men's lips, butt. I love a big butt on a man. Me too. My fiance has a literal dump truck. Love a dump truck on a man. No, I'm obsessed.

It's like embarrassing, though. I don't like to be seen with him from behind. Yes, that I can really get behind. It's just the hips. I can't have hips. And it's so fucking. I'd be jealous. Like, I don't have any hip. I think maybe that's it.

Maybe it's because I do have nice hips. What am I talking about? Maybe after I give birth. I feel like that's what happens. Don't your hips get wider when you get burned? A little bit. Yeah. I look at my body now and I'm like, oh, not bad.

Not bad in the hip department. Wait, you came out. Right? Yeah, yeah, I did. As a mother. I came out as a mother. Oh my God, I vaguely remember. I feel like I was drunk or something when I saw it, but I was like, oh, my God, yay.

Yeah, yeah. I came out as a mother, but not fully. Oh, okay. Yeah. Still partially in the closet. Okay. I'm not sure how you could be like half in. Yeah, I don't know either.

Well, you're a mom, but then you don't like, you know, there's outside. Yeah, you're not sharing. No photographs, no nothing. Oh, yeah. I feel like I might not do that either. But you have to keep doing it because I've never seen a baby cuter than yours. It's so nice. No, ever in life, I show her to everybody.

Oh, my God. She's so cute. It's like something about the way her little mouth is shaped. It's so cute. Oh, thank you. I love her so much. She's so perfect to me. Wait, what is that, sorry, the James Dean thing?

Oh, that's just a porn thing, right? Oh. I like dream porn star to shoot with. Well, because we had Stella Barry on. That's from her. Oh, I love her. I know. She got, like, in trouble for having her on.

Why? Because we were, like, low-key, glorifying incest. Oh, because that was her whole thing. It wasn't even real, right? It wasn't real. And we knew it wasn't real, but the audience didn't know it wasn't real. So silly.

I mean, nothing in porn is real. It's like, look at me. Fuck my, you know. Delivery driver. Yeah. Or fuck my dad's best friend. None of it is real. But do you sometimes have like a crush on your like distant cousin?

Master, that's a question for you. Stop. I don't want to go there today. No, I actually think it's like a part of childhood development. It's like to have crushes on your family members. Yeah. I got dittled by family. Did he have a crush on me is really...

I feel like that's a different circumstance. And I'm sorry that happened to you. Thanks, Brooke. Wait, I know that obviously that you hooked up with the boy that went on to become your stepbrother. But didn't you hook up with someone that was like maybe blood related or no? I hooked up with a guy who was the son of my dad's best friend. We grew up together as children, but then we started dating right around the age of like 19. But we were always just friends and then we dated.

But their family was close to my family, like family friends. And later on, during our relationship, his grandmother was like, hey, like, I don't think you guys should be hanging out or whatever, whatever. And he was like, why? And she was never like, she was always very vague about it, but she had suspicions that maybe there had been some swinging involved and that maybe he was the son of my dad because we did look alike. But I think we might have looked alike because he's also. half Filipino half white and I'm you know I'm half and half so I think it comes from that I will I'll show you a picture he's he's a handsome guy but then that's that was the grounds for why the grandma said that but then when I told the story to add you know more flare to it I was like oh yeah

like I fucked my brother and so you know of course and that yeah I'm actually I'm yeah even to this day I'm like a brother fucker but that that that's really what it is it was just a childhood friend I grew up with and the grandma was like hey like maybe you guys might be related but when I asked my mom and um it's so unlikely it's so so so so unlikely yeah well I'm happy about that I have a friend who was dating a guy and they broke up and then she ran into him at her grandma's funeral and she was like what are you doing here and he's like this is my grandma's funeral so it's both with her grandma and they like were fully dating like in a relationship and nobody I guess they were like second cousins or something a similar thing happened to me where I was on a

first date and at the end of the date he was like wait what did you say your last name was and I'm like Pavinsky why and then he's like we're cousins and then we remember each other from his grandma's funeral first cousins no um his mom and my dad are first cousins so second cousins so second cousins yeah wow god small world it's because my dad is so disconnected from his family like literally ignores their calls if they drive by the house hides so it's like I just didn't I was raised with yeah how would you know yeah only ever maybe went to funerals here and there do you have a distant cousin you have a who do you know it's just when I was younger and like there's like family events and then I would see like distant cousins

are like oh they're so cute and yeah I would have a crush but then I would tell my other friends I'd be like that's weird and it's weird you can't have crushes didn't you know someone who was a twin who was being molested by her twin yeah that is the saddest like to me of all the stories i've ever heard that to me was like the saddest shit i'd ever heard horrible horrible like a boy molester the girl yeah and then like she would just be sleeping and then like her twin would just go to her and start doing stuff and then she was like completely traumatized and the parents didn't believe her right yeah the parents didn't believe her and then like she also got rape and stuff and then she turned like she's a lesbian now because she doesn't want good for her oh i'd swear off

dicks for like six lifetimes after that And family. I have a change of subject before we end. Lena Dunham once was like, it is my greatest fear and my greatest like accomplishment to see myself having sex, like with myself or like to have sex with myself. Like not masturbation? No, like literally like you're able to imagine you can like get like an AI of yourself

and you have sex with yourself. I have no interest in that whatsoever. Yeah. I don't have. faith in my talents in that way. I like, I just don't, I think that would be really underwhelming. I feel like that comes from a very like exhibitionist type of personality,

someone who wants to see their body on display, which is very much like Lena Dunham coded. I do have friends like Jenna say, for instance, so I think we're like natural like performers. I'm a voyeur. I am the creepy. I like to watch other people, not myself. I don't like myself being watched.

Why would you want to put in twice the work? Okay. that's a really funny response I'm just think it's curious because I to know how you're being perceived while you're having sex like I feel like I'm very aware of how I'm being perceived when I'm just just there just happy to be here just laying there probably that's my style my last thing is Esther what did you mean by they just don't like me when people say I'm experiencing this where I'm I've just been hearing it whether it's like people I know or like TikTok whatever where people be like oh they just don't like me don't like me and I it's like been starting to become a red flag to me of like okay well why don't people like you like so you're just going to blame that people just don't like you it doesn't make sense to me like I understand maybe there's certain things where you're being bullied and people just don't like you whatever but I think I've had experiences where I hear people say that and I'm like you're not taking into account maybe why they don't like you it's in the same vein as like all my

exes are crazy exactly where it's like Like you're zero accountability of common denominator. Exactly. There's a common denominator there. It's like I'm the victim. Like people just don't like me. Like I don't know what and I don't know to me that's a new red flag. Whereas like as I grow older, I keep learning different red flags.

Like one is like if someone like aggressively tells you they're a good person. Yeah. Yeah. I've had to learn. I don't like ever being told by somebody about their own personality traits. Like why are you telling me like it's really strange. say like beware of declarations if they have to tell you what they are they're the opposite of yeah like i'm an empath like oh oh my god creep yeah i even know what that yeah it's weird i've never

i don't think described my personality to somebody unless i say like honestly i was just going to tell you i i i have that victim complex the self deprecation count self deprecation is kind of getting to be a little bit of an ick and this is someone who is like self like i've done this like my whole life it's just old and tiring and it's not funny anymore but it's kind of self-aware it's not because you're going I don't think you truly believe

what you're saying like I think you're just trying to be a pick-me and being like look how humble and like how much I hate myself where it's like that's not true I do it and I'm trying to get away from it I literally made a conscious effort like just the past few podcasts have done

because I really do I always come in and I'm like these people hate me for this you know I'm in trouble for this and it's like I got to stop because it's like it's just dark energy it is dark energy I will say though I don't agree when people are like just be yourself I don't think that you should just be yourself if you're a shitty person please don't be yourself be better to that thing you were saying about like people just don't like me and sometimes the argument is like I'm just being me don't be you don't be you be better you might need to have some changes yeah there are changes

that that are necessary please don't be you like ever again thank you guys so much thank you brooke of course you're welcome to come on tiger belly i'm right after this i'm so scared i just i would have to like really mentally prepare myself for that you know the first like few times i filmed with you guys i literally pregame why because i get so nervous to come on other podcasts i don't know why and especially like truthfully i don't like to be the like i like to be the funnier person in the room so like doing you are anything with comedians i'm like you guys are funnier and i don't like that. Well, thank you, but I like to surround myself with unfunny people. So that makes me

nervous. Well, thank you for being here. Of course. Congratulations on your engagement. We're very excited for you. Thank you. To take this big step. We'll see you next week. We're going to a brand of episode. Woo-hoo.