Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Harry Jowsey is our Valentine

Episode Date: February 10, 2026

BTS, BONUS CONTENT AND MORE! Only on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast     EBB IS NOW IN SEPHORA!! Get yours now! https://www.sephora.com/brand/ebb-ocean-club  It’s Valentine’s and we’re getting into it with Australian reformed f*ckboy Harry Jowsey!! The girlfriend theory, all things dating, cheating, and heartbreak; it’s juicy in every way. With Harry, every day is Valentine’s Day. Thank you to out sponsors:Thank you Monarch! Start your free trial and get 50% off your first year of total money clarity using link www.monarch.com/TrashTuesday  or code TRASHTUESDAY  Thank you BlewChew! Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold with code TRASHTUESDAY. www.BlueChew.com   Text TRASH to 64000 to get 20% off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply.  MORE HARRY!https://www.instagram.com/harryjowsey/?hl=en  https://www.instagram.com/boyfriendmaterial/?hl=en   *Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com *Visit Ebb Ocean Club & Holiday Shop* https://www.ebboceanclub.com/ for Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products! FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday  MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/  MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A   PRODUCTION:Studio Ten42: https://www.instagram.com/studioten42/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Arielle Jade (Editor): https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ Elisa Hernandez Kohler: https://www.instagram.com/ellie.lianna/ Megan Clements:  https://www.instagram.com/egggymeg/ 

Do you know what soul gazing is Esther? No, I don't like that sound. No, you're just like staring into his eyes for like five minutes. Oh. Have you done that with anyone? It's really intense. Do you want to try it? Okay.

No, you come close. Come close. You have to like staring each other's eyes. Then you'll know that I have bad breath. Oh, really? And you'll only last a week and a half. But you have to do it like five minutes. Oh my goodness.

I can't. You know, we have a Patreon. I think it's the funest place to be. I think you guys are missing out. if you haven't already signed up for the Patreon. And every week when we do edit these episodes, we go, okay, you know what? I shouldn't have shared that. Guys, that's going to the Patreon.

Okay? Patreon only. Because I'm too self-absorbed to cut it completely, but it's got to be in a safe space. Limited audience. And if you join now, you will get instant access to a backlog of a year's worth of bonus content. So if you're just like, I got to have a really great weekend this weekend. join us on the Patreon at patreon.com slash trash Tuesday podcast. Harry says that Burger King would be his last meal.

Yeah. What's your order? What's your order? The double whop a thingy. Prize, onion rings. Yeah, I don't know. Ew, I don't care about that stuff. Wait, compared to others, Burger King is it for you?

Yeah. Yeah, of course. Of course. That's not enough course with a lot of people. Esther, wouldn't you see? I'm niche. I know you're Burger King kind of. I actually do like Burger King.

Burger King, I'm not going to lie, but I'm just surprised to hear it. You don't, Burger King gets shit on so much. I'm trying to get a brand deal, I think. I'm rooting for you. Please. Today we have Harry Jousy. How are we going? Wow.

His height is an issue. We don't know what to do with your type. Esther and I usually go for Gremlin's. Okay. Yeah. So like it's very jarring to, right? Yeah. Six foot five.

Ew. I know. Get a grip. No, but the thing is like my legs are so skinny, so it's really unfortunate. Are they really? Is it something you try to hide? No, I train them like every day, but just because their muscles so long, I'm just built like a flamingo. But that's kind of cute because a lot of men, which I think is kind of, well, you can do whatever you want with your body, no judgment, but the calf implants are a little bit of an ick for me. Oh, okay. If you want to go to Tijuana and get them. I was, I was talking to a friend yesterday. He's like, you get silicoing carp and plants. I'm like, oh, wow, because I was thinking. I'm like, you know, maybe I should get a BB out.

You know, as a woman who's currently eight months pregnant, the most dangerous poison in this room is this man's sperm. Because if he, imagine if he got me pregnant, how I would break. You would die. You would break in half. Wow. Wait. Okay. I'm scared.

It's normal sperm. It's not going to hit you like a shotgun blast. It's not just going to jump out. Yeah. It's not going to grow legs and walk over and attack you. Like, what are you? talking about. I'm scared.

Wait, this is true. Although my mom wasn't as small as you, but my dad was 6'4. And she went into labor. I think it was like June 29th. And my sister didn't come out to like July 2nd. So she was in there for a long time.

Pushing, pushing, suffering until they had to get her out with four subs. So I think your theory is correct. Wait, that's a total people are a problem? Well, if you're smaller and you can't mate with a tall, person if you're small. I love meeting with small people. That's what I know. Really? You're going to hurt them. Yeah. Oh, okay. I'm really sorry. Wait, I saw that you were in a movie with my best friend, Miranda Cosgrove. Is he your best friend? Yes. She's awesome. Oh my God. Did you

have fun with her? What was she like? Was she total weirdo? Love her so much. I know. Yeah, she's got like 17 cats though, which is it kind of best. Oh, we're not supposed to publicly share that. Oh, I just like everyone in Netflix and they were like, hey, should we film this for social? I was like, yeah, she doesn't really know me. I'm sure we'd never cross paths again. And then we did. She has, she is buried in cats as we speak. She's so lovely.

And she's got like a wild story too. And she's just the sweetest thing ever. I'm actually going to go see Hannah stalking after this. Oh, you are? Yeah. Oh my God. I love, they're the best duo. So random.

I know. So random. You were an actor. I think I just trying to do everything. But I'm not very good at it. I was just that the whole time leading up to that, I was practicing an American accent for my line. And then as soon as I get, they're like,

yeah, just be Australia. Are you serious? I was like, okay, fuck. Wait, let's hear your American accent. No, I can't do it. I haven't been practicing. I'm really scared. You want to hear mine?

Yeah, can you try? I've only been trying for 20 years. Wait, are you known American? No, I'm from the Philippines. Wow. Yeah. Congratulations. Thank you so much.

It's the best. And do we go back often? Often, often. Really? Yeah, you're from Australia. I know that the Philippines is such a tourist hub for Australians, Barakai. Yeah, that whole Southeast Asia

corner of the world is we got a lot of Australian tourists. Is it really humid there too? Yeah, it's really humid. I love that. I love when you feel musty because that's where it's like where I'm from. There's a climate for you, right?

That's a climate that perfectly matches with your body. And I will say that everyone hates humidity. I love it. Yeah. I love it. Put me right in the equator. Oh.

Make my hair just big and frizzy and with like volume. It's so sticky and good. I think I've yet to find my climate. Do you have any suggestions what to try? Let's see. You have allergies in Hawaii. Really bad.

So that's a problem. Yeah. In Hawaii, like something happens to me where I can't breathe. Like it's really, I'm literally allergic to hot. You don't live there. Yeah, that's not your climate. No. Maybe somewhat cold and toxica?

Have you tried that? Oh, that's nice. Thank you. You want to do that? Ship me off. Yeah, you can do that. cruises that go down there. Okay, I'll try. But I want to hear more about food from you. Because you've got me going with this Burger King situation. Do you have other, do you like

in and out? Yeah, it's like whatever. Yeah. It's like hard to eat it, I think. Are there Australian establishments here in L.A. that you like? There's this place called Bronze Pie Shop. That's where you get pies. What kind of pie? Like meat pies. Oh, meat pies, like real meat pies. Yeah, there we go. Thank you so much. And I will say, too, that like, just Australia in general or in Alberta. You're just getting ready? It's like, I look over and there's all these clips in. I was like, oh. But you guys have the best coffee. It's like unbeatable, yeah. What's your secret? I don't make coffee. I just, it exists. No, I don't know. The best thing about Australia, I was just there. And it's,

the sun is like up at 4.50 a.m. and everyone's outside and everyone's hot. Oh, you hate that. No, I love so much. That's not. That's like so much pressure. Why? No, everyone's hot. And you know what the crazy thing is? You'd be walking the morning and it's just all dads with their kids. Oh, I like that. Yeah, it's just all like, I remember one morning, I counted 10 dads just walking with their, with their strollers. What are the moms doing? They're at home living. Living. Okay. We like that. Yeah, the dads are up early walking the kids and getting it out and the moms are just relaxing. So today we're celebrating Valentine's Day. Do you guys have that in Australia? I think so. Yeah, for me it's every day.

That was crazy. We do. We do that. Do you guys have Valentine's Day in general? Like, I feel like I've never had a Valentine's Day. I grew up making little things for your classmates and then playing Cupid and dropping it off. You know, your friends, right? Did you not do that?

Yeah, we would like, you could get an order in and send them like love hot lollipops. Yeah. Yeah, and do cute stuff at school. But I don't really, I'm not really, like, good at stuff. Like, birthdays I always miss him. That's hard for me. I'm the worst. It's a red flag. Yeah, it's a red flag. Yeah, it's a red flag. Yeah, there's one, you know, I'm not even going to say it sorry because it was like, it was actually really horrible. I was seeing this girl

and I was in Vegas the day before birthday I had no idea and me and her off and on and I hooked up with a random girl and I came back to L.A. And I was at dinner with my best friend. She texted me and she's like, you're not even going to wish me a happy birthday. And I was like, oh my God, fully forgotten.

She knew about the girl. And then I was like, okay, let me just finish dinner and that I'll come over. Which I should have just left right there because it was cheesecake factory. It wasn't that good. But I did send it like five cakes to our house on Uber Eats. From cheesecake back here?

Yeah, no, just like whatever was open. What were you eating? Do you remember at cheesecake? It was chicken cheese or salad and then, yeah, and then the calamari. What about the Alapado spring rolls? Is that good? Are you hungry today? Did you have breakfast?

Did you have breakfast? Send her a couple of the five things you sent this girl. Yeah, I felt really bad. And then we never spoke again. I mean, it's not necessarily. that, oh, I'm not good with birthdays as a red flag. For me, it's the statement of like, I'm not

good with dates or things like that where I'm like, then get good with dates. It's like a small little like effort thing. I'm just scarred by Bobby. Why? I think. I dated Bobby Lee for 10 years. I don't know if you know who he is, but he's a comic. He's laughing in your face.

We live together. We cohabitated. We had sex. What's going on with Ari? Wow. Did you 10 years. Wow. Yeah. We're still friends. We're still do a show together.

What's coming up for you? No, no. I've just met it. That's crazy. He's a silly thing. He's so funny. He's a wild, wild man. Ten years is a marathon.

It would be like that. It would always be you forgot. And then this big gesture of five cakes after. That's nice. That's pretty good. Like the guilt. If someone missed my birthday and they felt so guilty, they got me more stuff. I'm taking it.

I have to agree. Birthday week. Really? But you're not, okay, you have your own issues with your birthday. I do. Where are you just like, I don't want it to exist. I want to forget about it. And I'm a bad recipient. Like, I've been with my husband for a long time.

And we just have no gifts anymore because he'll get me something. And I'll be like, why would you get this? Like, I don't want that. Like, I can't. That's so bitchy. I know. So we just stop. We just omit it.

We don't have the holidays. No, but a card is a good idea. She should just get you food. I think that they just feed her. Get you a spring roll from cheesecake. But even that will make me mad because he'll... Why are you angry? What's going on?

Wait, have you ever had Levan cookies? Yes, of course. Can we feed her? No, no, no, no. Please listen. Is this a Valentine's episode or a food review? What do you do? But which one?

Which one? Okay, Levan, I tried it like a couple years ago and I had the oatmeal raisin. I was like, this is the best cookie in my life. And now every time my husband goes to Larchmont, which was like the nearest Levan, he always brings me home an oatmeal raisin. And I get mad because I'm like, now I'm going to eat this and I'm going to have a tummy ache. I'm not 6'5. I can't just eat a whole pizza and then like be fine, like you.

Do you hate your husband? No, I'm talking to you. Oh, me. Okay. Yeah. He's not 6.5? He's little too? Is he short?

You can't call men little. I can't do that. What's he going to do? How tall is Dave? Dave is about my height. Five-nine? That's good. So it's tall for you.

It's tall for me. It's perfect. Same with Bobby. Tall for me. Tall for me. Five-five-three-four? That's usually the range I go for. That's how tall he is?

Yeah. No. Yes. And with heels, I would tower, which I kind of loved. You did? I did. Because I'm like, I'm not going to fucking change my bones. Yeah.

You can't shave him down, I think. In China, I think. Let's go. And you can lengthen your bones, which I feel like he, yeah, yeah. What height are you looking for? I think any tall than six, five is just like actually annoying. No, but like in a girl. Oh, for me.

I was like, yeah, if I got any tall, I'm killing myself. It's actually really annoying. You can't fit on planes. You can't do anything. Like, it's frustrating. You bang your head on everything. Always looking down. See?

Do you have to fly in the cargo when you go on a plane? Pretty much. With your bulldog? They take me to the wing. Wait a second. This is the same thing we've been talking about for weeks. Short people are better for the environment. Okay.

So she said that to me recently and I was like, you're just condescending to me like, it just sucks being short. But then I recently was like at a farmer's market and this really tall couple walk past me. And my instinct was to be like, I'm so like, I'm so much less than them. And then I was like, no, I'm better for the world than they are. That's a good way to look at it. You have to think about it like this. It's like you, Harry is a. SUV, you're a little Prius, you're a hybrid, you're just more economical, you consume less,

you zip around easy. We have to figure out where to park, Harry. It's difficult. You can't fit in the compact. And I eat too much food. There's, I mean, how many, that's a full tank. Maybe that's like you're talking about food. I'm like, scared he's going to eat all the food. Yeah, I'm going to eat that whole bowl of candy. But like, what is the height you usually date? Yeah, like 5-3 or less, 5-4. Wow. Anything taller is like, nah? Oh, I don't mind.

It's just like, it's nice. It's just, little people are just so sassy. They're so cute. Sassy. Yeah. The shorter they are, the more sassy they are. They're meaner. They're meaner.

And I think I just need someone to yell at me sometimes. Yeah, I get that. Yeah. Because they're so small. They have to make themselves known. Yeah. It's like, don't crush me, so I got to be like extra, like, you know. Yeah, and I like feeling like I can be a wolf or someone.

Mm-hmm. That's a good article you should make with short people to fight climate. I wrote that article. Did you actually? No. I'm like, why are you really prepared for this episode? I wrote a whole article for you. Wow.

Have you ever actually had a proper Valentine's Day with a girlfriend? Like, what do you do? I actually took my ex, Georgia, to Hawaii and that was really nice. And like for Valentine's Day, a trip. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, because I remember it was like the first time I think I put it in like, effort for someone. How did that feel to put an effort? Such a drag. Because my assistant booked everything. So I didn't really do anything. No, no, it was good.

It was really good. We went and I remember I had like roses and stuff on the bed and all this stuff set up, which is kind of useless on a vacation because like you just push it to the side. And then they were filming American Idol on the beach there. So we got to watch that. And then that was kind of it. But we had a really nice time. But that's the other time I've done something. A trip is a big gesture. Yeah. Oh, actually, here, here's a thought. One of my friends, their friend is getting married on Valentine's Day.

Do you think that's annoying or a good thing? I think it's so annoying. I think if the date is special to them like, oh, this is when we met or whatever, it makes sense. But to specifically choose Valentine's Day is a little bit too on the nose for me. Too cheesy? Is Valentine's Day booking more expensive in general? Do they hike up the prices for, like, wedding? venues. Yeah, you know what else I don't like? Like, is like when you combine a holiday

with something else, it's like you might as well spread out your holidays. Like, then you have no anniversary and a Valentine's Day. Yeah, you have to do it two and one. Yeah. And you're not going to get double the presents. And you're not going to, it's not going to be like double amazing every year. Yeah, ew. That's what I thought. And they're like, oh, it's romantic. I'm like, it isn't. Like, pick a real date and make it romantic. It's like, don't you have a mind of your own? Yeah. Do you think? of your own date? Yeah. To be special.

Harry, how does it feel to be labeled a fuck boy? Is it something that you take on with pride or are you just kind of like repelled by the word? No, I think that it's like a very important part of my life because I think I did the first dating show I was on when I was 19. And I'm now this year I'm 29. So it'll be 10 years. Oh my God. And was that the first one in New Zealand?

Yeah, it's called Heartbreak Island. Oh, whoa. And so I guess when your dating life is kind of your career and it has to be crazy for things like move forward. That was just like the easiest thing to fall into and then going on to it to handle. And it's like, oh, these guys are sex freaks. Yeah. It was a big part of it that I'm like, oh, okay, it's fair enough that this is what we're going to be labeled as. But now I think in recent years, I like to believe I've been a lot better.

And then especially with my next show coming out, let's marry Harry. That's definitely a nice transition to being a wholesome. human. And are you taking this seriously? Are you like, I am looking? No, it's done. It's already, yeah, it was the most serious thing I've ever done in my life. Yeah. Why is you so shocked? Do you need food? I don't get her a banana. I saw bananas up there. Remember when like, you know, back then they were like, oh, you can make a hoe a housewife? Like, can there really be like a reformed like fuck boy? And what does that look like? No. No chance. But we're trying. No, no, I think so. Because I feel like everyone has a bit of a ho face.

Mine was just on camera and I was, and I like enjoyed it a little bit too much. Yeah. But I think it's just, yeah, after maybe you have a bad breakup, you go for a little freaky phase and then come out of it. Yeah, mine was just a little bit extended. I'm friends with this influencer Tinks.

Do you know her? Oh, I love Tinks. She's amazing and she has this thing called box theory. Yeah. Okay. So it's like when you start anything with a guy, you guys go on a date, you meet whatever,

you're immediately in one box. either in the hookup box or the girlfriend box. And once you're in the hookup box, she says, you can never ever progress with a guy out of the hookup box into the girlfriend box. Do you think that's true? No. Really? Yeah, because I've hooked up with guys and then you're like, oh, that could be my girlfriend.

Even when you first hook up with them, then you're not really putting her just in the hookup box. There's still a potential. She's asking you, if you've hooked up with someone and just always has seen a girl as just a hookup, oh yeah, you're already hooked up. ever like a year or two later be like, oh, this is the one. If she wins a lottery, for sure. Like, if I find out her dad's a billionaire, I'm like, that's wife right there, you know.

Come on, let's be realistic. No, I think, yeah, there's always someone like it's just always seen his sex. Like, for sure, it's always just going to be like that. And that's really sad. No, because it's the opposite for girls because I feel like, you know, we don't, that box theory doesn't apply. Now I'm thinking about it. Yeah, there's been girls where it's just like it's always been a hookup. and it's just stayed at that.

But I've, no, I've definitely, like, slept with girls on, like, the first night and be, like, oh, this is the love of my life. But then I'm realized that I'm probably love bombing them because it's never worked out. Yeah. I'm also a problem. Wait, you're a love bomber? Oh, it's so much fun. You should try it. Can you try it with Dave today?

Yeah, I will. Just love bomb the shit out of him. Yeah, you should actually do it with your husband because it sounds like you hate him. I don't. No, I'm so. Can you just text him I love you right now, just for fun. No, I do love bomb him a lot, I feel like. But only in public.

Like it's, it's performative love bomb, right? Sometimes. Okay, one thing that is so weird about us, this is that we both have such low self-esteem. This is literally a conversation five times a week in our house. One of us is like, I'll be like, you look so hot today. And he's like, there's something wrong with you. And he'll say that he's like, you're so beautiful pregnant.

And I'm like, you're lying. Like we never accept the compliments and we're always giving them. It's kind of crazy. I'm like, we don't believe in each other. That's really sad. Do we need to go to a counselor? Maybe your next show, you can be our couples counselor. If I'm your couples counselor, you have a lot of problems.

I can't even get myself in a couple. Wait, so tell me about love bombing though. Yeah. Do you know you're doing it when you're doing it? I just love, I just get so excited sometimes. So does it feel like truly like a dopamine rush in your body? And you're like, I love you. I have to say it.

No, I didn't say it. Whoa. I'm not saying I love you. I'm like, hey, look at this AI photo of our kids. No, really? It's so easy and fun to do that. That is so wild and crazy. Yeah, I'm like, I've done it at a party.

Like, I've seen a beautiful girl. I'm like, look, this is what we could be. And girls still fall for this. I feel like we've sniffed this out a long time ago. We know what a love bomber is. It still works. People would know. Girls, let's get our shit together.

We can't. have AI baby hairy strategy working on us. What are you feeling when you're love bombing? Are you, it feels real. Okay. My problem is I'm just, I'm so excited by love and being in a relationship and all that stuff. Like I get so like worked up like, oh my God, like this is everything. This person is perfect. And then then they're not. But like for like a week and then I'm like so pumped on them. This is cool. So scary. And then they're like, I'll see them like smoke a vape or something. And I'm like, Oh, fuck. Like maybe it isn't.

Or they have stinky breath. This is huge. Oh, the breath thing is real for me, though. That is huge for me. That is like a real ick. And you are allowed to have icks around breath. So it would, honestly, it would be like the actual love. But because I always find an ick within a couple weeks, it's called love bombing.

And, you know, that's not my definition. I love this because you're, no, because it's like he's not, it's not a fraudulent act. Yeah. He's just. feeling the feelings. I wouldn't mean it if we're meant to be. I don't believe you. I always thought love bombing was like, I'm faking it to like trick her. Yeah.

But he's like, he's just like his head is in the clouds. Oh, you're fully in it when you're in it. But it just lasts a week and a half. Usually. But now we're reformed. So everything's fine. We're reformed. How do you hold back though?

I don't. Have you ever practiced restraint where you're like, you know what, this one? Let's take it slow, Harry. Let's, you know, let's. Yeah. Yeah. And how does that usually work out where you're like, I'm not going to show her the AI baby? No, no, the AI baby is just like a party trick.

Yeah. It's just like she's someone cute. That's different. Wow. No, it's cool. No, the worst thing was I was like on chat GPT and I scrolled up one too many swipes and there was another baby with another girl. I'm actually, I'm deeply sorry. I don't know this woman, but I was just trying to test it before I did ours.

test the prompt. Yeah, I don't know. I just, I love it so much. Do you have a specific love language? Do I? Yeah, I do. What do you think it is? I think they all kind of go in order maybe, but I feel like quality time is really important. But then on the other hand, I know this isn't a love language, but distance is like really nice. That's a funny love language. Yeah. The kind. We'll add it. Make it a seven. Yeah. Six. Yeah, because I think like quality time, words affirmation, I'm learning to be good at that and like receive that. Because what I realize is I'm not very good at receiving love. I'm probably the same as you and your husband. Like, you'd be like,

oh my God, I love you so much. I'm like, wow. Like, thank you so much. That's crazy. Yeah. If someone were to match your love bomb right up top, like right from the beginning, does that like... She's going to get pregnant day one. Yeah. It's crazy. Yeah. That's it. That's all I need. Also, I want to be afraid of me. And then I'm like, I kind of feel like if they secretly hate me, I'm like, oh, this is the one. Yeah. It's a nice challenge. But I feel like distance is a unspoken love language because if you can be away from someone and really miss them and want to be with them, that's kind of nice. Spoken like a true avoidant.

I am. I am. Why am I, like, lining up with everything he says? Because I, you know why? You're male gays. You are a, you are a man inside. I know you. And you know what?

The testosterone in your baby is like fucking up. It's poisoning your head. You know, because really, I, when I meet a new girl, like, who's a friend, I love bummer. You do. I do. Oh, my God. the first night I met you was like show me your tits let me touch your tits

it was like within five minutes of meeting her can I do that to girls you guys are like the same people wait but why did girls show each other each other's tits all the time I think we we fuck too hard up front yeah and then the danger in that is that usually there is a fallout at some point

true but we have never had one no we've never had one have you seen each other's tits we still right now oh yeah shit because I used to have implants And I woke up with a wrong size implants. I was like, hey, doctor, I want some modest Cs in here. Woke up with double Ds and I was like, what the fuck? So I took him out like a year after.

Wow. I was her doctor. How did he make that mistake? He took artistic license. License, yeah. He was just like, your thing I can mold and I think you're molded better this way. Because he probably looked at the width of my swimmer shoulders and he was like, let's offset that with some bigger.

Can you sue or no? No, I don't think so. Did he take him out for free? I went to a different doctor to take him out because I didn't trust him at that point. And he was like a very big like Beverly Hills doctor too. Damn, this is crazy. I know.

Okay, here's what I like about the distance thing that Harry is bringing up. So I go. Because you never want to be that couple where you guys are like all the time on top of each other. You do everything together. You share everything with each other. like that's we know that's crash and burn failure right that's love for me but when you're like have

your own separate lives and your own separate interests like that to me that's distance i don't think that's what he means he means like geographically away no no i mean like yeah what you were saying have you ever had a long distance relationship yeah all of them red flag i'll red flag and that was a red flag for me i only dated boys that's the first one i've countries? Yes. When you, I only dated for when I was a single for most of my 20s, I only dated boys from different countries because of the distance. I knew that I could pop in, pop out. Whenever at least one of them was Australian. He was from Melbourne and he to this day still wants to kill me. So I can never visit Melbourne again. Whoa. What did you do? Is it double D tit? You just

hit him? I know it just didn't work out. He was just like a little hot head. Yeah. But long distance is like fake. Is it? Yeah. It's nice though. It's like a fake fantasy relationship where you're just like play pretend relationship. Yeah, because you get the dopamine hit and then you let it wane and then you get the big rush again. So you're kind of microdosing falling in love. I just feel like I'm so busy that it's like annoying to have someone like wait around all day.

I'm like I'd rather like plan that when they come that it's like fun and special instead of like, oh, you're up my bum all the time. and then during the school night, like I'm not, I don't want to talk to anyone, I just want to work. What about the, for me, the best part, like the only reason to be in a relationship is like to go to bed together and wake up together. That's like so fun, like a sleepover.

That's the only reason? Yeah. You have a child in your stomach. No, it's nice, but I fall asleep in like 10 seconds. I'm the worst. Especially if I'm going to be. I've got a lot of things. I think that's probably one of them.

Yeah, because you fall asleep. If you go fall asleep too quickly, that's usually a red flag. It really? It's not a red flag. It's me. sleeping is it? I can't even sleep. You can't sleep. Not if you knock out that fast, no. No, but it's just like I feel comfortable where I put some background, like a movie on, and then I'll try and watch it and I'm out because, yeah, the bed is

for sleeping. I'm so jealous of that. Because, okay, you know how like the difference between men and women sexually, it's like men can just go and women like really need to be like revved up and turned on. That's how I am for sleep. Like I need like foreplay for sleep. I need so many of the like circumstances to be perfect and right. And I feel like every guy I know, it's like getting a boner going to sleep. Yeah, it's the best. Especially after sex.

Oh my God. I can't even talk. No pillow talk. It's just lights out. Literally it's the best. You guys just sound like haters because you're jealous. We are. I'm jealous.

Yeah. Even on a plane, if I sit down on a plane, I'm done and I wake up. That I'm really envious of because I can never get comfortable on a plane unless it's a life flat, then, you know. How do you get comfortable on a plane? are so large.

Like that. Yeah, lean on everyone. And you would think that because you're so big that you'd be uncomfortable on a plane, but I was on a flight to New York with Blake Griffith. Oh, yeah. And he is, what, how tall? Six, I don't know. He's six, seven, maybe.

He was out in ten seconds, like you said. And he's right next to me. Maybe like the tall guys are burning so much energy. Oh, he's six nine. Six nine, yeah. Yeah, we are burning so much energy. That you need the rest. So you're saying short kings need.

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I think we have some questions from our audience for advice, right? Yeah, we do. We have some dating advice. A few months ago, I caught my ex cheating on me with multiple people for over a year via his journal, which I call his diary. My question to you is, what is your go-to way to get over someone, especially betrayal? I know he sucks,

but feelings don't have an off-switch, so true. So gross, that he's journaling his cheating, scribbling away, like with his legs up, just like Dear diary Guess what the fuck I did today is so I think that's my ex I read that Do you journal?

No I'm afraid That someone would find it Yeah And they're like What's wrong with this guy You know that sometimes like all Because I I journal a lot

And like my husband will like come To town downstairs Where I'm just laying in bed rotting journaling And he'll pick up my journal And just start reading a random sentence And it's like so It's so painful for me and he just makes fun of me, but I kind of like it.

You guys hate each other. Can you just like do eye gazing or something for five minutes today? I think that sure Jewish people are just really different from you. You're just like a tall Australian guy. Yeah? You don't get us. Oh, damn. We need a double date with us and we need to like see what's going on.

Yeah, because it's definitely me. It's definitely me. Wait, what should she do though? Oh, yeah. I forgot. Have you ever been cheated on? Yeah, every day. Every day.

Yeah. No, I have, I have. But then I'm like, I wasn't very, it was like so long ago. It wasn't very good. So I was like, oh, just cheat back. And then that double hurts. I would say that like, I know that like this person said, feelings don't have an off switch.

And that is just the truest thing. And it always just is a matter of time. But I will also add that I feel like one thing we've learned as a culture and a society is that the person who's cheating is the person. who's hurting. Like they're seeking something that they don't have within them that they're trying to fill. You know, we used to think like, oh, he cheated on me or she cheated on me.

That means like I'm ugly. But then like society has broken that wide open with like the Halliberry incident. And Natalie Portman was a big one. She got cheated on? Yes. I think this was a couple years ago. Oh, wow. I just think that like I hope that it can help you just in any way if you can think like that

that person is hurting and doing bad things and it has nothing to do with you. Yeah. And like, you're the healthy, better one. And also, fuck his dad. That would get, that would really get him upset. Oh. I thought you meant like, fuck his dad. He raised him wrong.

No, no, no. I mean, like, if you really want to hammer him. Yeah, I think you're right. I think Esther Perel wrote a whole book about it about just being like, it actually makes you understand why people cheat and it's almost like, oh, you sad little thing. It has nothing to do with me. But I'm not about the confrontation. I don't like a, I found this.

I take my sweet fucking time. I play it out for three, four months. If we're living together, I don't do a reveal. The reveal will be, I'm done. That is psychotic. Yeah. Hey, that's more painful for you. You have to live with this sausage.

But only because it's like, especially if we're living together and our lives aren't like intertwined. I want to make sure that I get my shit in order. and make sure that I have a place to stay, make sure that, you know, my finances are in order before I'm like, you know, fuck you, peace out. Fair. Right? I don't want to be like just not have a plan in place to you.

I don't have the kind of patience for that plan. Yeah. See, I would end up snooping on their phone and trying to find everything. And then I would just do a tell-all on TikTok. Like, guys, look at his journal and then go through it. And he's a little bitch. That's a really good thing.

I feel like that's maybe a great, expose them. Yeah, like a multiple part story on TikTok with his journal. If you want to pop off S, this is the way to do it. He's a businessman right here. Yep, it really fucks your life up, being on the receiving end. Trust me. This happened to you? Yeah.

What happened? Oh, she did like a four-part series, but it was all good. Yeah, it was like warranted because I was being a bit of a dick too. What did you do? Oh, it was just like, we had a really bad breakup. Me and my ex, like, we're so good now. She actually came and was helping on this last show, which was awesome. Like we're in a really good spot, but we had, we were like budding heads online.

And then she did a full part series. I was like, fuck. She kind of got me there. That's kind of cool. She got to cook. Yeah, I was watching. I was like, fuck, she's good. Damn, I told her everything.

Next question. Okay. I'm thinking of hooking up with my high school sweetheart after two decades. Leave that sweet memory in the past or explore it. Both of our lives are complicated and we live. thousands of miles apart high school speakers coming back to l.A. for a weekish we've both expressed interest i'm just not sure if it'll be hot and fun or lame and take away from what was what if one of us catches feelings probably me i'm the sad girl question mark this is really esther coda did you

write this a lot is coming up really a lot is coming up and i do want to start by saying i do not want to hook up with my high school ex. I really don't. Maybe like if I'm like, no, there's no circumstance. But I did know someone once. He was older and it was someone that I worked with. And his high school ex, he was probably like in his 50s. They had reconnected. And like he would confide me about it and we were talk about it. And it was just like he was so happy. It was this beautiful thing. Like they were both just reminded of their youth. in this way that felt so soothing to listen to, it felt so healing for them, that I do feel like, oh, that if that's like, if you're feeling it, it could be so amazing.

It could. It could. I think it's sweet. For me, I don't like to backpedal into old territory like ever. Really? I love spinning the block. Really? It's so fun.

Oh, I can't. Like once I, if I'm out, it's usually because there's a. like an like an like an ick that happened and I can't see how can't yeah you really closed the door on exit how do you do that they leave the hair her exes leave it open but she closed it sometimes they'll drop that DM and I'm like ship has sailed wow how do you do I'm fold like I literally like origami they're like I'm bored I want to see him like okay we shouldn't know do you have though that like one high school person in mind that would okay yes my ex from high school.

Yeah. I don't know where she is now. She's probably very different. But she was like the hot girl at school and we used to date. But that was a piece of shit. Yeah. Because I was like 16 and I thought I was a man. But I was built like a little asparagus.

What if you're like in your 50s and you're like divorced? No. No. No, we're good. But I think like if it was something that I'd never like hooked out with and is that I would, I always just say like you're just going to try it. I do. I mean if I don't think there's stuff.

stopping the momentum of this anymore. Because I will say, my best friend married the guy that she, so in high school, my best friend and her and this guy lost their virginities with each other. They dated briefly, but then went their separate ways in college. 20 years later, they, you know, met up again. And now they have two kids. Wow. And so maybe it does work out.

I love that. And I know no one is going to believe me when I say this, because I, I've been driving past my high school exit house for the past like 20 years. How do you feel about that, Harry? Why? You're just like, Sorry? I'm just driving past.

I'm not doing anything. Why? I don't know. It's like. And you're saying it publicly? Yeah. Oh, yeah. What are you doing privately?

Wait, what? You just, you go drive past this place? This is to see? When I'm in town, just like what's going on in the driveway? What's going on in the windows? No, it's, It's in my hometown. Whenever I go home, my parents usually drive me past.

What does your husband think? You guys hate each other. No, he just like rolls his eyes and like, doesn't care. He's in the car too? No, no. I think maybe he wants to want to. What's going on in the driveway? He got a new car, babe.

Look! That's so exciting. Look, there's kids. He just thinks I'm crazy. He's like, whatever. It just rolls off of him. But I, even though I do that, I still want to be very clear that the thought of hooking up with him

is repulsive to me. Yeah. And I know no one believes me. I believe you. You do? Yeah, you really do believe you. Why? Because I do understand, like, wanting to, like, fuck a memory, but not fuck the person.

Yeah. The memory itself lives in your heart somewhere and you're, like, thrilled by it. But the actual person is just a person who's already evolved into someone you don't want to fuck. Yes. So, like, I fuck memories in my head all the time. Like that Australian guy. You fuck him. Fuck the memory.

I could not fuck him today. Maybe then we're, like, getting to an answer for this girl, which is like maybe it's possible that she does just want to fuck the memory. Yeah. And not the person. And maybe if she meets up with him, I would like say meet up in a public situation where you can't just automatically hook up.

So you can like meet, assess it. Think about it. Revisit. I don't know. I feel like you'd go for it. I'd just go for it. Like worst case that can happen, you get a little bit of sausage. Best case you come and everyone's happy.

You can have a child and happily ever after. I wish I lived my life like that. What's the worst that could happen? I can have a little sausage. Like on pizza or just like, that's why I never truly had like a huge hoe phase because it was never just like, I could use a little sausage tonight. I was always just like overthinking.

Wow, you're just going to live? No, that. He's a 6'5 Australian man. We can't. Yeah. I can't take on that strategy. He's a, it's a, it's a, We're not the same species as this person.

I'm right here. You're not human. He's in the room with us. Yeah, a lizard. But I swear, I'm really affected by that couple that man that I knew that was hooking up with his high school sweetheart. Like, that was cool. Like, I really lived vicariously through that for like a few months. And it was really beautiful.

Like the way that you're just like, oh my God, he's like really getting in touch with his younger self through this experience. And you know, that's like my dream is to be in high school again. So I just love, I don't know. I wanted to ask your opinion in this. So Esther has a theory that fuck boys love single moms and always end up with single moms. And Esther, do you want to? Okay. Sorry.

Yeah, love them so much. Wait, really? Yeah. Why? I don't know. Okay, so I think that like single moms, they're great. I think that men who like serial date or whatever, like they hook up, they never want to settle down. they end up, if they do end up settling down,

they end up settling down with a single mom because they're kind of like a man child and then they see this woman and she's like taking care of this like six year old kid or whatever and they're like, oh, that looks really good. Like she can like get that baby dressed and like feed it and provide for it. And then the man starts to go, oh, maybe she can do that for me.

And like I think that you have this like, this is literally my dad. did this because my mom was a single mom when he met her and he was worked out though no totally he was never going to get married he was never going to have kids but then i feel like he just saw my mom and was like i'm done eating off paper plates like i want this mommy to move in and take care of me and that's what happened look i think different strokes with different what is your what is your what is your i just think single moms are so sexy and fun why i just love moms like why you know the have a responsibility. Uh-huh.

Okay. And, you know, there's a lot on the plate and they're getting shit done. I don't know. Like, I just not even just, this is going to sound terrible, but like just seeing my sisters and how much, how empowered they were when they had their kids and how incredible that was. It was really inspiring. Yeah. He's explaining it better than me.

Yeah. Yeah. But so then when I, like, when I was dating, I've dated a few moms. They have their own lives. I think little things don't matter. I think that's what it is, too. They really do have their own lives. not number one.

Yeah. You'll never be number one. So it's kind of like I need to kind of straighten up a little bit. I need to really behave because I'm, yeah. And also it's like I think people who either don't have kids or a job or hobbies just want to fight all the time. That's my theory. They just want to argue.

So then you have like these influencers who just take selfies and don't have any responsibilities like me. And all they want to do is argue with each other. So maybe that's why I love people with responsibilities because they don't want to fight. They just want to have fun. No, fully. I think you're right. And I also, I can speak for myself.

Like, I feel like if you dated me before I had kids, I was crazy. And I was immature. And I had no responsibilities. And I didn't know how to like feed someone a dinner. And then the difference than when you have a kid, it's like, oh, this is, I'm like such a better partner. I'm like it is my world I take care of them I'm also able to I just have more love to share

and I'm like I just feel that I've changed so much that yeah I don't know I think like people historically have given single moms a bad rap but I'm like no I think that's like worth that for a lot of men yeah yeah I will say also like from the hookup side like single moms know exactly what they want like they're not fucking around you know like they get to the point and yeah no bullshit if I for some reason I were to break up with my partner today, I would be the cuntiest person to date.

And I think that's probably what you're magnetized to is that extra bitchiness, that sass. I love it so much. Yeah, it makes sense. No, it's good. It's like a little bit of sass. Yeah. What don't know if they love you, I hate you? The Valentine's banana today.

Okay. Wait, can you guys explain this? So on our show, usually we talk about, like, we can really get into some serious shit. And like, emotions can get high. People can fight. Klyla will talk about being molested. Like, there's just, you never know what's going to happen. Lots of trauma.

So we have a potassium break. But today we're kind of just chill, you know. You need to eat that. She does. Yeah. I want to see how you open your banana. I don't even care if you eat it or not. I just need to see.

Thank God. Is that okay? And you said not be able to open them. Because men usually. What do they do? They go like. They mansplain and you're like, you don't know. This is how the apes do it.

And they open it from. here. And I think Joe Rogan said it one time and now all the bros are like, you're opening your banana run. I'm like, shut the fuck up. I'm the ultimate banana eater. I eat six a day. They'll tell me to open a banana. I'm scared of you. As I rip it. You're scared everywhere you look here. I'm so scared. You're not eating you? You're not hungry. No, I don't want it right now. Is this a note? What's on the note? Oh, yeah. What are? We don't usually get notes. This is for the holiday. From Ellie. Oh, so cute.

Mine's from Megan. Megan's my Valentine. Guy and Ariel. Thank you. Thank you so much. This is the best part of Valentine's Day. These memories to me. Going to Walgreens, picking out your little cards, filling them out.

That is, I'm going to do that. I'm doing that this year. Yep. I'm getting little cards and I'm just hoarding them for myself. I don't want to give them to anyone. What do you do for Valentine's? Like, don't go out. Yeah, her and her husband fight each other.

No. And they don't eat Just boxed in the backyard Yeah Just give you five compliments Just write it down And do some soulgazing This year I'm going to be

Like moments away from giving birth So I will be miserable What do you all feel about Galentine's Day? What's a Galentine thing? That's like The gays? No, it's like girls, galas

Oh I was like, yeah The gays get their own Valentine's Day Fuck When you get together with your girls I got to switch themes I can't imagine A group of guys

Getting together on Valentine's Day. Is that something that you've done? I've never done that, but this could be the year. It sounds fun. We're all doing it. Maybe it could be like Super Bowl themed because it's around the Super Bowl. Oh yeah, you're into sports now.

Yeah, I like sports. What's going on? I'm telling you, she's got a little testosterone. No, whenever it gets to the end of like the season. Like in there, it's like in the finals, that's fun. Okay. Especially because if Dave is invested and his. he'll like teach, this year the Patriots are in it and that's like his team.

Oh, that's right. So, you know, it can be a little, do you like sports? Just rugby. What's that? It's like more aggressive and like a quicker game and it's like fun. But footy is also a big thing, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm part of owner in the LA rugby team.

Oh, nice. Go to all the games. Rugby's great. It's the most fun. But like NFL and I got in trouble for this, it just takes forever. Like, guys, like three hours? Yeah. Does no one have a job?

like are we all unemployed that we can afford three hours to sit here and watch us no i know like give me a break and then there's one team that's offense and another team that's defense i'm like what do we like this is unnecessary just stay on the field like and then special teams for a kicker and they can cancel me for that but i legitimately it drives me crazy because i'm like there's so much unnecessary spending here what about basketball like i can't be around them because they're all tall and that's my thing and you're tall and athletic and rich get out of my face. Blake,

I never talked to Blake again. I love that. You don't need a competition. Yeah. But I get what you're saying with NFL because it's like the rosters are like an 80 man team. It's like how many people do we need? Double the budget for each person and watch them run and outperform everyone. Like you give me $250 million a year.

I'm crushing everything. I'm terrible. But I'll be on steroids. With my son, I know NFL at all. If he ever becomes like a sports dude, it's going to be. baseball only rugby is good basketball

things that have good contracts this is a legitimate concern for you golf you just do golf golf because her baby daddy looks like a football player yeah like she's made a big child my son he's not gonna

you never know you never know you never know I don't think so you could be a jockey oh my god jockeys are so rich are they are very very rich and they're a very rich And you can afford to be little. Guys, guys, don't manifest this for me.

Don't listen. Yeah. I have, I do have a sports fact that is probably like everyone knows this, but I just want to share because it is so exciting. Did you guys know that the first year that Tom Brady was the quarterback? He was like the understudy. Understudy? He was like the backup.

The backup. Oh, I'm like, well, he wasn't studying? No, no. Like understudy in a play where it's like if you're sick, then the understudy goes. on. Oh, and he was that good? But no, the guy drew bloodsoe, he was injured and then he, so the understudy had to step in, Tom Brady, wasn't even the first pick, he was the second pick. And then he became the star. And then when Drew came back and was like, I'm ready, the coach, Jordan, whatever's boyfriend.

Jordan's boyfriend is what we'll call him. Yeah. The coach was like, actually, no. Jordan's boyfriend, Billy. He was Vellecheck. He was like. Like, no, I'm sticking with Tom. Yeah. Did you know this? Yeah, I do. I know enough sports facts like that. Okay.

You know. Well, he didn't know. I have no idea. I don't know who these people. I knew something that he didn't know. And I feel so American. Like, I don't think people realize that it's just not necessarily a thing. Anywhere else.

Because, like, for example, like soccer, football. Like, that's worldwide. Everyone knows, like, the Premier League teams. Everyone knows, you know. Cricket. Yeah. Cricket's big too? Cricket's huge.

But NFL is very just American, for sure. Is basketball and baseball? No, and that's everywhere. Yeah, everyone's doing that. Baseball is more American. We don't really, but basketball is huge. Soccer is huge. It's more like universe of.

The Asian countries love baseball, though. They're huge on baseball. Yeah, Koreans and Japan. Yeah. I love an underdog story. I love when an understudy steps in and takes it all. Did you guys see how Tom Brady looked when he was a rookie? He's like way different.

No. Yeah. You can see this. Wait, you had a facelift? Surgery's? Yeah. Wait, will you show us? Whoa, no way.

I'll get a facelift. Tom Brady's doing it. Oh, I was actually in the clinic the other day and they were saying that people get their facelifts, their hair line moves like, like down their neck so they have to get like hair removal. I don't know. Oh, really? Yeah, because they're like fully like, whoa. So, Rookie Tom Brady.

Wow. What did he do? That is different. He's very dorky here. It's before the money. What did he do? Do we know? Can you tell?

He bungled Giselle. And I was dating Alex Ariel, right? Is he, you think? I don't know. I just had a little brush up. We were hoping to get your guys' like greatest idea for a date on Valentine's Day. Oh, our ideas. Oh, Lord. It's a good painting.

Like a sip and wine. Sorry, not sipping wine. Do you just want to get drunk? Just drink, drink. Wine and shots? No. Sips and paint. Yeah, sip and paint would be dressed.

Or just like something when you're like doing it. activity like building a clay pot or something could be fun playing maybe a game of scrabble you and your husband need to do that so you guys love each other no no I don't know like I feel like that's the best dates is like when you're doing activity together and it's not like a interrogation it's like oh we can just have you're very used to being interrogated I am yeah especially after let's marry Harry like after we film that I'm like this is intense when does that come out tomorrow wait really no no what's the What's the premise? I have to get married.

Is it like genuine, like you're really looking? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Do you want babies? All of them. How many? As many as I'm able to get.

That's how I feel. Yeah, but it's, I feel like it's not really on me because I just, I got the easy job. Right. It is. Just fill out the tank, you know, and then let the car go for a drive. Oh, it's true. I don't know why I said that. Yeah.

Yeah, you guys, like, it's easy, but like. But we just have to run in and throw a chocolate at you and then hide away. For date ideas, I do think an activity or a game. This year on our anniversary, we took a cooking class, and that was really fun and felt like romantic. I do think like this is just going out to a nice dinner. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's always tricky on a holiday. Things never, you know, the service is stressful and parking is harder. Dinner is boring.

Dinner, movie, whatever the fuck that. is it's so boring to me but also like I'm very anti like real physical stuff on an early on the first couple of days like hiking is a big no-no I think hiking is more like a friend thing yeah yeah I agree like we're gonna go for like come on I know see it's more like or like if you've been together for a while where it's like hey let's go to this but not like for a date I would never be like hey you want to come to Iranian that is a horrible date idea actually yeah people do that I know it's weird it's like I feel like it's like LA culture or something it's like weird.

Yeah. One of the first dates, the second date I went on with my partner now was on a fucking hike, bro. And it was to Coco Head in Hawaii, the fucking steepest stairs ever. By the time I got to the top, the moon was up. We could see the reflection on the ocean. Everything was so perfectly picturesque. But I had fucking foam at the side of my mouth because I was fighting for my life.

And he was probably expecting a first kiss, but I was like, no. Not like this. I'm passing away. That is horrible. Cute. That's good. Yeah, that's fun. Yeah, I don't like the physical stuff.

You're right. I think you win. Yeah, it's a little too much. Well, so then what are your Valentine's Day ideas, guys? Let's go to Bora Bora. He's a real traveler. Yeah, Boroboro is a good one. I think that that kind of speaks to me a little bit.

I like the tropics. If you're like, hey, let's go to Bora Bora, let's snorkel. Yeah, I want to go to look at fish. You guys are being crazy. Valentine's Day is not a trip holiday. That's crazy. Like, Valentine's Day is one night out of the week.

Yeah, let's go to the Maldives. Oh, the Maldives even better, better diving. Or Jamaica, like, let's do it all. Yeah. You guys are being, like, crazy babies. It's got to be like, let's think about an adult idea. Okay, little children. You're dreaming too big.

Wow, really? Yeah. Ladies have some standards for yourself, right? Can you may as well take it to Boer Boer for Valentine's Day? He hates you. And I get what you're saying. Like, yes, dinner in a movie is it can't be boring. But I don't, I wouldn't knock it.

Just because I'm saying I don't want to do it on Valentine's Day, like dinner and a movie is the classic for a reason. It's fun. Classic for who? Me and my parents. Yeah, a movie, you're not talking. You're not engaging. That's true.

But it can be fun to talk about the movie after. If you're in high school and you're making it on the back, Yeah. Do you miss your high school sweetheart? No, stop accusing me of that. Yeah. No. Like, what? What's going on?

For me, dinner and a movie is like, for every Friday night, I would do that with my parents in high school. And I felt like that was really fun. That's nice. But I am a loser. So I think board games cooking together. No, it's stressful. Someone's going to get stabbed. You know?

I'm out of ideas. I'm sorry. I'm not a Valentine's girl. Well, go adopt a dog. Adopt a dog. Adopt. Yes, that's cute. Yeah, go adopt.

Okay, what are things you would do with your friends on Valentine's Day? Bedrod. That's my dream right now. Egg people's houses. Arm wrestle. Yeah, just be with your friends and do nothing and just stare into the void. You need a craft, like a puzzle. Nah, overrated.

Let's just, like, sit in silence and bed rot. Maybe, like, get some resin out. Mud wrestles each other. Sign up for my show. What are you? Did you hang out with guys? No, I don't really hang out with anyone. Really?

We're your best friends. Us? Do you have... You guys? Yeah. It better be. No, my friends are in like different cities. Yeah.

So I kind of just like hang out alone. Which is really sad. But I just like work out and hang out and work. No, I get that. I'm kind of a lone wolf. Yeah, and I have two dogs. So like I'm busy. Wait, you live in L.A., right?

Yeah. What do you have for dinner usually? You need to have some food. No, you need to answer me. Like, what do you want to order you? You need to stop. It's lunch time. It's all good.

Avoiding the question. I want to know what you eat. I got a chef. so whatever she makes. Really? Yeah. Like what kind of dinners do you like? Chicken?

I don't know. Apparently I got bad cholesterol. So I'm trying to figure that out. Me too. Yeah, I did like one of those full body scans and all the blood tests and they're like, oh, your cholesterol and your heart's like kind of funky. And I'm like, first off, shut the fuck up. You have no idea what you're talking about.

I feel great. And my heart is healed. But no, yeah, apparently it's just got to, I'm just been trying to figure that out. So I've been having to ease up on the Burger King. Do you have coffee every day? Every, every 10 seconds. Do you make it or do you have a cafe you like? No, I make it.

What do you make? I don't know. The espresso put the pot in and just, I'm useless. Like if it, I really don't care. She's like black. I'm disgusting. He's such a man. Is that okay?

I'm 6'5. The inside of your home, is it like designed or is it like, do you have a headboard? I'm actually in the middle of moving right now. So it's like a mess, but I have an interior designer because I can't think. I just like let her. Emily, thank you. Maybe I'm just the worst. I just want to think about, like I just want to walk into a home.

And it's already done. And then I just don't have that thing. Like, the art, like, I don't want to have any artistic flair at all. I'm the, we are the same person.

Yeah. We are in love. I think you are. I'm, like, terrified. Okay, I want to end on, like,

some advice from you. I want to, yes. You know, the dating scene is rough. Grim. I look at my single friends, and I'm like,

they're literally beautiful. They're literally successful. Like, they're so much fun. And what is, your advice to girls who are single like just from the guy's perspective do you have maybe there's nothing i don't know but do you have any for girls really looking for a relationship yeah i think first of men ain't shit just let's start there i think happiness is the most attractive thing on

anyone and it's the most attractive thing in yourself so i think if you're worrying about a guy or worrying about a relationship you're going to push it further away focus on being happy and loving yourself and that will happen like I even if you're at the club right if you're out with your friends and you look someone smiling and having a good time instantly you're like oh I want to be around that person like I want to go over there think of it like that a relationship should be like I want to be I want to see the person having fun having a good time and I want to see that person who's yourself be confident happy and having a good time and the right people will come around that was good that was really good advice yeah anytime you start with men ain't shit I'm listening

yeah that's that's it's kind of the go-to. You and your husband need it, you get happy. Oh my God. You need to eat? I need to eat. Tell a joke, do some soul-gazing. For Valentine's, you guys have to write five compliments to each other.

Do you know what soul-gazing is Esther? No, I don't like that sound. No, you're just like staring each other's eyes for like five minutes. Oh. Have you done that with anyone? It's really intense. It's really intense. It's like really crazy.

Like I start crying within the first 30 seconds. You do? Yeah, I like burst into tears. Who do you do? it with. I've done it with a stranger. I did this one. I went to like an art show where one of the art was basically like people doing these

like psychological experiments with each other. And one of it was a soul gazing and I soul gazed into a stranger and we both like burst into it's wild. Yeah. Are you serious? I did on a show. What happened? Oh, I was like, oh my God.

I feel like I know you. And she's like, ew, no. All right. You're a bitch. Yeah. I was like, that's what I figured out, by the way. you suck. But it's fascinating.

You really like, do you want to try it? Okay. No, you come close. You come close. You have to like staring each other's eyes. Then you'll know that I have bad breath.

Oh really? And you'll only last a week and a half. But you have to do it like five minutes. Oh my God, I can't. Oh my God. It's scary. But you have to be like close.

I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah, we'll kiss. We'll kiss. You won't like. like how they kiss tastes. Anyways. Where do we find more of you now that we're addicted?

Text me. Go past my house. It will. As you love to do that. Don't do that. If you want to find me, it's at Harry Jazzy. Also go to podcast with Boy From Interior. And also he's in the wrong Paris with Miranda.

Okay, Harry, well, thank you. Will you be our best friend? Yeah, please. We take us out for coffee in Brisbane. No. And thank you to our slugs. We love you guys. We're going to take some of this conversation over to the Patreon.

So if you'll join us there. And if not, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Yay. I love slugs. That's so cute.