Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Ivy Wolk Exposes Taylor Swift

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

#skimspartnerJOIN THE WEIRDEST PATREON EVER!: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast  Ivy Wolk (Anora) crashes the pod this week! She teaches us her ultimate life mantra and her response to her five year situation asking for a threesome: “be yourself, have fun, and learn along the way” We get into: not being allowed into the Anora Cannes premiere (justice for Ivy), how Taylor Swift is microdosing high school and Taylor giving us NOTHING during the Eras Tour. Jules lays out her master plan to bag Harry Styles, Ivy confesses her third-grade crush, and we dive deep into the true Morrissey experience. Also on the docket: Courtney Love vs. Patti Lupone (!!), and Ivy explaining why Chappell Roan how and why she’s probably a reactive lesbian. We pressed record and then let Ivy do her thing. Pray for us.  Thank You to Our Sponsor(s):  Thank you Skims! https://www.skims.com/trashtuesday   *PRETTY LITTLE BABY TOUR* Esther is coming to a city near you! Grab your tickets now at www.prettylittlebabytour.com  *Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com *Visit Ebb Ocean Club & Holiday Shop* https://www.ebboceanclub.com/ for Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products! FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday  MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/  MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A   PRODUCTION:Production Team: Tiny Legends, LLC:  https://www.instagram.com/tinylegends.prod/ Stella Young: https://www.instagram.com/estellayoung/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Elisa Hernandez Kohler: https://www.instagram.com/ellie.lianna/ Megan Clements:  https://www.instagram.com/egggymeg/ Edited By:Arielle Jade: https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ 

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So you're already looking for new pussy. We're five months in. And you're already like, we should spice things up. Spice things up. It's ridiculous. Yeah. The first year, like, I'm the spice. Right.

I'm the fucking spice. It's like, but he's like, already like we should like try and do something new and I'm like you just like want to cheat on me but I'm not your girlfriend so you found a loophole how much older is he he's 17 years older than me oh my god ivy woke how old are you I'm 21 oh my god not me thinking you're my peer hey sluggies I don't know if you know but we have a producer tier Halloween is coming up we're planning a bunch of themed episodes and what's really cool is if you sign up for the producer tier, you get to dictate what we do, how we dress, what the

theme is. You get to send in advice. You get to send in ideas for segments. And we are at the mercy of your suggestion. So go sign up for that. And also thank you. Thank you. Thank you to our golden slug, Brandon. I'll tell you a couple things about Brandon. Extremely hot, extremely successful from Texas. Brendan. You don't know him, but he's the homie. Thank you, Brandon. Thank you from Jaime Garcia. This podcast. is brought to you by skims. I have a pair of boxers from skims. And how do you love them?

It's like I'm not wearing boxers. It's just free range out there. That's how comfortable these skims are for me. Shop our favorite bras and underwear at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select Trash Tuesday in the drop-down menu that follows. Skims. I am so excited because I am officially going on tour and it is starting so soon.

we're right around the corner. First, September 12th and 13, I'm going to be in Madison, Wisconsin for the first time ever I had to reschedule last time and was never able to do it. I cannot wait. These shows are going to be so much fun. Madison, Wisconsin, and then next I'll be in Portland at the Aladdin Theater. I'm going to be in Seattle at the Neptune, Olympia, Washington, Philly, New York City, Boston. I'm hitting all the best cities this leg of this tour. So please get tickets. Come see me. It's going to be so much fun. We'll hang. I have all this new material. that I've been working on. I can't wait to share it. And you can get tickets at

Pretty Little Baby Tour.com or at the link below. I cannot wait to see you guys. Ivy is giving like 37-year-old friend of mine. And she's 21 and it's freaking me out. How does that happen? I grew up in Los Angeles.

I just like had the demons bite me from a very young age. I had to fight my way out and now I'm here and I'm seasoned. And she's trying to trap a man who is 17 years older than her. Oh, I love. It's hard. It's been, it's proven difficult.

What's our strategy? My strategy is just be myself, have fun, learn along the way. Those are good strategies. Yeah. Esther, or we can go the real trapping way, which is what Esther did. What did I do? Baby. Well, before that, like the ultimatums.

The ultimatums are tricky. It's a tricky dance. I had to do a few ultimatums along the way to get work to where I am. You know, like if we're not living together by this time, you don't call me until you're asking me to move in. See, when it comes to men, I have no backbone. So I really do admire that. I would let a man like kind of, if a man like doesn't think I'm attractive or isn't giving me what I want in my head, I'm like, okay, immediately he's like so much better than me and actually he's doing this because he's like a superior person. Like what if he wanted to like flay me down the middle? and like use my skin as a throw rug like that would be incredible for me i'd be like yes king i'll do that for you so like i really admire that i really admire that but i like what you said about your strategy being just like be yourself be cool like that is part of the strategy especially early on i'm just trying to like i mean the thing is like yeah i mean a situation ship with like an older ho-ass man like truly i wouldn't i kind of wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy but you know what i believe that actually I am tough enough to take it.

Like I have so many girlfriends I look at and I'm like, you wouldn't fucking last a day in my fucking shoes. Like you wouldn't be able to do this. And it's because like I love and respect them and don't want them to like go through turmoil. Yeah. But for me, it's like I am, you know, I'm the diamonds. I need pressure. And so I like, sir,

I'm kind of a masochist in that way where it's like I like being really tested and having my ass whooped my life and love. Wow. Wait, let's introduce Ivy, by the way. Yeah, let's not really do this. Jay's guest is Ivy Woke. She's... Way too cool to be here.

She is in the hit show on FX, English teacher. She is literally in the Oscar dominating movie, Anora. Wasn't allowed in the can party. No, it's supposed to be for that. I went to the party, the premiere. You had a backbone then. I did have a backbone then, although that was ratchet and crazy. I definitely was just like, well, they wouldn't let me into the premiere.

They eventually did when they realized who I was, that I was in it but that was like a fucking that was nasty and then some French bitch was filming me freaking out and so I kind of thought getting a Karen video abroad it's like that's heroin I think it was a star turning role thank you thank you and thank you it was a lot of people don't echo that sentiment so thank you thank you so how did you meet this guy that you're Instagram who pursued who he was like in the stories I slid in the DMs you know no quid pro quo type of shit yeah we didn't have story liking in my single days and so i do feel

that i could see how that's really like such a simple gesture it's kind of it's like eye contact it's like eye contact from across the room except it's not because it's entirely disembodied and disconnected and he's just sort of liking um you know an image of you does it have to be serial liking or can it be like one here and then one three days later is it does it have to be a pattern you recognize and you're like oh this person's like really watching if i recognize it if he's watching all the stories and then like for example it was the selfies he was liking or like a particularly funny video he was liking and i'm like okay i know that you're interested in sort of what it is that i'm offering you but he was like liking the stories when he was on ambient like at night and so

he wasn't really aware fully that he was liking the stories because he was sort of in a fugue state so then when i slid into the dms i think he was a little confused because he hadn't remembered, like, what his other self was doing. I can really defend him here in that two things I've done on Ambien that I also did in a fugue state. First time I ever did anal. On Ambien. On Ambien. Now that I look back at it, I'm like, was it magical or was I just like...

On Ambien. Second thing I did is I was extreme dieting at this time, took an Ambien, woke up with plates and food all around me. Yeah. What your heart wants when you're on Ambien, it will get for you. I mean, honestly, it's like when Roseanne was tweeting all that shit, and she was like, I was on Amby, and it's like, girl, that's your soul. And that's okay. And that's okay, sister, but that is your true self. Yeah.

Anil is my true self. Yeah, because I'm famously, anxiously attached. Are you? I can't figure you out. Yeah, I think I would say yes, but it kind of oscillates. Like, there's been time, I mean, I'm definitely, well, above all else, I'm a freeloader, right? So I'm going to stay in somebody's apartment whether or not I like them, you know? Even if I'm like, this is the first guy that I've like been with for a while where I'm actually like, oh, I actively really like you.

Usually it's like a thing in retrospect where I'm kind of so overwhelmed by the feeling that like I'll be in a man's apartment for 16 hours a day, but I'll just sleep the entire time because in my head I'm like, I'm doing the thing. Like I'm being here. I'm being domestic. I'm doing it. But I'm so overwhelmed. by kind of like his affection for me that I'm like, you know, I pass out. And so this is like actually me being, like making him house me in his apartment for four days and the entire time I'm awake, you know?

And I'm like, well, let's play a card game. You know, three in the morning. I'm like, three in the morning. I'm like, what were you like at summer camp as a kid? Fucked up. And so I say like it used to be pretty like I used to be pretty avoidant, but now I'm kind of like, I like will look at him sometimes and I'll be like, I just, wish that I was like, like, your kneecap so I could always be inside of you.

And it's like he looks at me like I just spoke in hieroglyphs. So that's kind of what I'm doing. So I guess that I would say that that's anxious. But the whole going catatonic to be avoidant, maybe you do swing back and forth. Like that is a really interesting strategy to kind of just be like, I'm domestic, but I am sleeping like three quarters of the time I'm here. Which is famously what John Mayer has said that he's looking for. Really?

He literally said that his ideal girlfriend is. is like someone that's like a house cat. I don't know how he thought he could say that and not be made fun of, but like, it's like, he wants just a girl who's sleeping on his couch. But who scratches him on occasion if he, like, touches her in the wrong way.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Well, I wouldn't fuck John Mayer with somebody else's pussy, but that does sound like an ideal arrangement. I just think he's corny. I just like really, I mean, and I know at this point he's like kind of infected comedy in a really interesting way. Similarly to Maddie Healy of the 1975,

where these are both male musicians who are like, but what if all my friends were alternative comedians? And it's like, you don't need that. You don't need that. You don't need that. What is Matt Healy's deal? He's like kind of like an aging hipster who like, I don't know, Taylor. Here's a thing.

Here's my theory. It's like Taylor Swift treated the situation shit that they had as like so catastrophic because she's like a corny theater camp alcoholic. and he's like and I say this with like obviously love in my heart because like while I think my best friend and I call Taylor Swift

the white devil like we really don't understand the appeal but I understand and I sympathize with her ultimately because I do think actually like I mean if you listen to the music this is a woman who's consistently sad you know this is a girl who is just like sad and has dark thoughts

and probably is like a varsity functioning anorexic but this is my read on Taylor but you know she had this thing with Maddie Healy where it was like, you know, the girl from fucking theater class gets with the guy who's like smoking cigarettes in the alley and then it fucked her up and now Maddie is like dating an influencer and I think she had to like date a football player

in order to like make herself feel better. She had to like one up. I mean, I think most famous people, it's like the age at which you got famous is kind of the age that you're stuck forever and it's like Taylor didn't like have a normal high school experience and so she's like microdosing high school through her relationships in her adulthood. The jock, like the star jock now. Dating the dumb CTE'd out jock who like can't fucking recognize Eve from Adam on like a piece of paper.

It's like, but she loves that. She loves that. And I just watched like, I mean, I've been like going on. I never like really listened to the music. I think like 1989 came out when I was like in middle school. And I remember like I listened to it when it came out and I liked it. But like Taylor for me has been like a kind of major cultural blind spot and kind of recently. because I try to be like a student of pop music

because like it is like a cultural product and it does reflect sort of what we're going through as a people similarly with reality TV where it's like people pass it off as like vapid trash but actually like the reason that it exists is because it's a public service and we all need it in order to see ourselves and our needs reflected back on the screen and then the music

so I've been trying to like do a like kind of reflection like a post-factor reflection of like the Taylor Swift life and career and the thing is like she is to me just kind of extremely milk toast and boring like I listen to the music I understand like with her I think the appeal is like the lore is rich because she's been famous for so long and she's been so good at sort of keeping her fans at a distance but also like letting them in on so much and it's a weird balance that she walks with that. And so that's her appeal. But it's like you actually like put your earbuds in

and you listen to the music. And it's like you two songs are exactly like sonically the same, lyrically the same. Like doesn't make any sense to me. She's just not interesting. And also she's like not a good enough stage performer to get away with the fame that she has. I have to agree with that.

She really, I've seen so many clips of her where I watched last year when I was like high out of my fucking gourd on ketamine, I watched like the eras tour movie and I was like so perplexed at just like what everybody was crying over I mean it's the lore that they're crying for it's really like the you feel like you're like participating with history when you watch her I guess in a way because like it has to be that right because like the voice is good but it's not stellar the performance is boring and she kind of like lacks presence I just it's like it's interesting to me who is it for you then who's your north star of like pop

music. My North Star for pop music. I mean, I'm really like, I've been really fascinated with Brittany lately. I think Madonna really is like the apex for me. Yeah. Okay. Thank God. Madonna is really the apex for me because she was as much a pop star. She was a performance artist and she synthesized like so many kind of weird subcultural things and then made them big and popular while also like it didn't some things I guess maybe probably felt appropriate if you like would look into it

but I think actually like she was into all that stuff deeply and she clearly was a girl that was like you know watching Jean McCall Basquiat like shoot up in their loft and being like they're so crazy like you know it's like obviously like she run game she been there right right right right

yeah exactly I agree all the shit that I think Madonna sings about and has used in her performance style and even in like the sex book and all these things, it's like, I know this is like a nasty ho. Like I know what I think about Madonna is I know that this bitch has let two guys fuck her butt at once and she just did it to have a song. So you don't think that Taylor has a hidden like nasty ho-ness.

Taylor to me is the kind of girl where if you get in a fight with her, she thinks like a great move is to like throw her phone at you from across the room. Like that's the vibe I get from Taylor where she's like, fuck you. And then she like throws the phone. And it's like that's what keeps her interesting to men is like the fact that she kind of is like, oh, when's she going to throw the phone? But otherwise it's like, I don't know. But she does clearly have some sort of real pull with men that is quite interesting to me. And I wish I could like install a security camera under her home.

You think she has a pull with men? I mean she dated Harry Stiles. Yeah, that's just curious about that. Let's look at facts on paper. Like, she's pulled every single guy. When you're a super famous pop star, it's a little easier to. to have poll with men. I think quite the opposite.

What? Yeah, I think, like, really... Who is Harry Styles gonna date? Like, a fan? Like, they have limited options at that point. It's the pool is limited. And so, I guess, like, I mean, the thing with Taylor was, like,

she dates too many guys. She sings about how she's dating too many guys. And it's, like, she just happened to be extraordinarily famous. Like, paparazzi was following her. So, like, there was, you know, maybe there's probably relationships she's had that we don't know about, but that was, like, the only place

she was, like, afforded any sort of discretion. but it's like everybody was watching her every move since she was 16 years old and so it's like anybody that she fucks or goes out with or whatever like and that's the thing is with her fans they're so fucking like people online call it like QAnon for white chicks it's like literally that's what it is it's like they're so fucking schizophrenic that anybody that she's seen with

all of a sudden it's like well actually these three songs on the B sides of this album were actually about this guy that she went to launch with in Cape Cod and it's like they just extrapolate whatever the fuck from any image, any like slight glint at the camera in her eyes that she makes to like a paparazzi, you know, a paparato. And it's like they just, her fans take and build lore from whatever she gives them. And she knows that. And that's the relationship with the fans that she has. And that's why she's so interesting. Because I feel like like with Britney that's so

compelling is like the meta narrative where it's like it's not controlled by her. Like Britney is somebody that it's hard to wrestle with sort of when you listen to her music in retrospect she wasn't writing any of that stuff she wasn't you know creative directing or spearheading her own career really even from before the conservatorship like she did not have that much autonomy she was like a machine granted she was like a fucking bright shining star and like had this like inimitable ineffable like star power that people still are like wrestling with today like she was so enigmatic because you can't tell about brittany like what is it that we all love so much about Brittany.

It's just something in the eye, something in the body, the way she moves. And a lot of the early Britney music, even pre-conservatorship, is like, you don't understand me, everybody's trying to control me, I need to do what I want, like overprotected, not yet a girl, not yet a woman. Like she had all these songs about like people stifling her and then trying to control her image and all these things. But that was even before that was happening. It was like the people that were writing the music for her sort of were taking

these like classic teen girl ideas of like, My mom is, you know, telling me that I have to keep my door unlocked in my room. And then, you know, ascribing that to Brittany, who was the teen idol, these, like, very distinctly teen feelings. But now we look back at those in retrospect and don't see that these writers were, like, just writing about, like, general teen feelings of, like, oppression and suppression. And now we see it as, like, this was, like, her message to the label. And it's like, no. But the meta-narrative with Britney is, that's what's interesting is, like, you look back at all of it in retrospect and you're, you know, trying to cue an on white woman. into thinking that it was all folding in on itself, but Taylor, the thing about Taylor is,

like, she's been in control of her meta-narrative and her, you know, direct narrative the entire time, and she does that on purpose. And so I think that's the thing that people like about Taylor. Also, I think it's, like, because she's sort of awkward and because she's, like, kind of, I mean, I think she's, like, a beautiful woman, but, like, also, she doesn't serve looks. Let's just say that. Like Taylor, Taylor's not popping out on a carpet in something where you're like, wow, that's going to push the needle forward. And do you think that that's an intentional thing or she just doesn't have a... I think she's like corny by spirit. And so she doesn't really have those sort of instincts in her, but that's what makes her people like her because she's a surrogate for

women of the world. It's like a woman of the world classically is not going to be wearing some like chapel row and Charlie XX shit to like a work function, you know? Sometimes I do think it's an intentional thing she does where she sits right in the. middle of like quite not quite being fashionable the hair the fit yeah and I'm like I don't know if this is an intentional move or if that's middle of the road for like yeah southern white women now I have a question for you and this is for jewels since you're our little genius what strategy would you employ to hook up with your ultimate boy crush like ever and in this case it's harry styles from here where we're at you're a podcaster

you're on bad friends what can we do to craft a strategy for you to finally get with Harry Styles I don't even know what I feel like

I don't have the pull at all I can just offer my pussy and just send a picture how do we even get there how do we even have him open the said you know photo of pussy you have to like work with some publicists

you have to be in the right room you have to employ some like shadow strategy What shadow strategy? I mean just like accidentally being near him and looking good. Gaming the system sort of to get in the same spaces as him like knowing. I mean, but the thing is like it, that requires, I don't know much about Harry Schaild. So that requires like kind of knowing what his public persona is and like where he is spotted. Like I guess like if there are a restaurants he frequents and paparazzi photos or he's the kind of guy to like go to like a, you know, variety magazine party or something.

It's like trying to get into those places. like you really do have to think about like where is he being photographed and let me be so clear it's possible look at haley beber exactly look at megan markle miss fake ass story of like i didn't even know who it was it's like bitch i know people who knew you where you said i'm going to marry that man before you ever met him and congratulations yeah like that's like haley beber is i'm like and congratulate you fucking did it you did the thing no shame it's possible it is fully possible Yeah. It's always possible. I know that he's into running and then.

You're going to chase it? Yeah. So maybe I just have to start like doing marathons and then just see if he's there. That's like the one thing you don't do is run. I hate running. You know what's sad to me about the Brittany comparing Britney and Taylor is like if you look at them, it's like it all boils down to the difference between like having rich educated parents. and like being a damn hick

from Kentwood, Louisiana. Being from motherfucking Kentwood. Yeah. I mean, Brittany is like, they're both women who got famous as children, but the circumstances were different. I feel like Taylor sort of immediately hit her stride. Like everybody when she was like 14 was like,

this is the girl. And then before that you don't really hear from her. But it's like Britney was a child actress and she was like doing off-Broadway stuff when she was a kid. And she was like, there was just so many like forces in her family trying to make her, famous. Ultimately, like, it is really sad that the people that wanted to make her famous were the

people that, like, I mean, now it's like she gives lobotomized. Like, truly, it's like the Instagram is a joy, but it is like very hard to watch because it's like, I mean, it's the same thing I feel about Amanda Binds where it's like something happened to you. That's been my biggest heartbreak is Amanda Binds. Really hard. Because Amanda was like, I mean, leading a sketch comedy show at 12 years old is like an insurmountable amount of fucking pressure. And to have that comedic timing and that screen presence at that young of an age like of course something fucking terrible and mind melting

is going to happen to you because like that's that's what fucking happens is like you can't your star can't like burn for that long before it just becomes absolutely too much especially if you are like

unsupported especially of things I mean it's a miracle that fucking Lindsay Lohan is like back in the cultural film I can't believe it looks as amazing as she does it's like that was a girl who like her fucking dad was in prison

for like insider trading and they're like domestic violence and like all this shit was happening like her home life was fucking bad on top of her being like a fucking international superstar and it was like all these forces she had nowhere to go that was like fully safe and of course she crashed out and like the fact that you know she's back and we've like accepted her now again is amazing that kind of a reappraisal of a woman usually only happens after they have died oh i think it's the good facelift i think that really helps because if she still sort of looked

like a woman who had been you know around the damn block at the Chateau Marmot like pounding you know keys upon keys upon lines upon keys for as long as she was people would not be as welcoming to her it's the fact that she looks young again

and that's when we remember her being clean and good to us and so you get that face back and people are like there she is you know and so it still is like kind of buried underneath these like layers of sexism and like all this shit. But I mean, maybe like the ends justify the means and the fact that even though like, yeah,

she had to like, you know, get her face stapled and do a fucking ponytail on the back of her neck to have us love her again. Maybe it does signal like a sort of paradigm shift of like, okay, we can actually like open our hearts to these women while they're still alive. There's a roadmap. Yes. We look back at a female celebrity whom we have like culturally wronged or who crashed out or who was like done dirty or whatever and we only do that after she has passed and then

until then it's like you're still a villain to us and then once you're you've died you're sort of like made into a saint or like a martyr for culture so i think hopefully like lindsay especially since she's like obviously still like coherent and doing well unlike somebody like brittany or amanda we've like we've come now to be like oh those women were like victims of their of their circumstance and victims of our culture. But these are women who it's like, will Britney ever make another album? Will she ever perform at that caliber again?

Will Amanda Bynes ever, like, be back on screen? They probably don't want to. That's the thing. They probably, they want to be seen in some way. Otherwise, they would be hermits and they wouldn't be, like, posting videos of them spinning on Instagram. But it's like, they can't perform at the caliber that they once did, nor do they probably want to

because it was so psychically physically torturous. Do you have any, like, celebrity crush like Jules does that you would try to go after? Yeah, well, there's one guy that since I was in, since I was in the third grade, I have like really kind of like, and it's kind of, it's waning, but now I would actually know exactly how to get this motherfucker

to do whatever I wanted and open his bank account to me, and that's one Mr. Louis C.K. And I would know exactly, I would know exactly how to get this motherfucker to give me any, Everything in his wallet, all of his assets. He would write a fucking, like, will with my name in it. He's making you beneficiary on all the accounts.

Like, there's a person, like, a certain kind of, like, erratically submissive pervert like that that I exactly understand how to game. I mean, like, all of... I didn't know this when I was in third grade, but all... But I wanted to fuck him when I was in third grade, for sure. I listened to, like, chewed up on my mom's iPad, and I was like, wait. Hold on a minute. And it's kind of pervaded. I mean, now he, like, obviously is old, but that is, like, a kick him when he's down type of thing.

You know, his spirit has obviously been weathered by his brush with the hashtag me to movement. And so, you know, I know I would be able to kind of get in there and abrade and sort of poke until he did whatever he wanted for me. I don't think you'd have to do much. What would you do? What would your strategy be? I would just probably, like, make icons. with him and be like, I know that you're like a sick motherfucker. You like get your rocks off from doing like sick shit and you, you know, have like a sort of impropriety fetish. And so you say nasty

things and you do nasty things so that you can like, you know, hurt your own feelings. Then that in turn turns you on. And like I know exactly just like how to hurt you. That's probably what I would do. Like I mean, I used to do like phone sex and like dominatrix like webcam porn and stuff like that. And so it's like, I know how to do these things. Like, I know these types of motherfuckers. Can you spot them from a mile away? Yeah. Yeah. They have a certain kind of energy and like, you know, they type in a certain way. They talk in a certain way. I know. And they're always flighty is the thing. Like, a submissive man actually is always going to be the one that's the least consistent with money. Like, I just know how they speak. I know how they evade things. I know how they obfuscate.

Like, I get it. And so I can sense it. And I see in Louis. something extremely similar where I'm like you just want to be like you just want to be told that you're fucking ugly and you want to jerk off about it and it's like I know I know exactly how to do that and I understand he's like your guys is industry peer but technically he's mine too so I can take this. We be at the same clubs okay. I'll run into him when I run into him and you all will find out. I feel like you're really close though.

There is an, you know, I feel like you're a little bit further from Harry but this one is Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean I try somebody in my field. I chose, particularly to show somebody in my film. I mean, is he somebody where it's like, do I really find him attractive that much anymore? Like, no, not really, but he is somebody where I know he would be achievable. It would be extremely attainable for me and Louie.

I would exactly know how to do that. I don't know. Who's, like, somebody sexy that I would be unattainable? I don't really know. I guess maybe, like, in terms of, I feel like in my own personal life, like, all, I have this complex that, like, all of my, interpersonal romantic conquest are so unattainable that maybe like the fantasy for me

with a celebrity is like somebody that I could actually get so it's like the reverse of most people where it's like the celebrity crash is the person that you never in a million years could fuck but then in your real life it's like you have a breadth of choice but for me it's like in my real life

I've like struggled so much to actually get laid over the past few years and to date and all these things so it's like with my celebrity crushes it's like I only try to think what's actually achievable I mean, because here's the thing, it's like, I'm going to pop your dick out of my mouth and start talking about pop stars and actresses. You know, it's like, kind of like what I do need is like a Gen X gay guy. Like that would kind of be the perfect dream man for me forever is like, if I were to date a guy who's like, like, honey, Tara Reid, you know, and it's like, then, you know, you're speaking my language.

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with promo code Trash Tuesday. What I love about Mood is that there's a gummy for anything that I'm going through, whether I have trouble sleeping, whether I'm dealing with MMS. Whatever it is, they have the gummy for you. What makes these different is how they've paired THC and other cannabinoids with herbs and adaptogens. You're just not going to find gummies like this in a dispensary or anywhere for that matter. And they have gummies for literally everything, immune support, menopause relief, PMS symptoms, mental clarity, sexual arousal,

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Can I eat this? Yeah. I was like, is this a problem? So I have like a list of like just takes and I wanted to know. your opinion on that they've that other people have said amazing all businesses in new york should be required to have a public restroom i agree i agree band has singing happy birthday in restaurants um what's wrong with a little musicality or adorning your dinner what's wrong with a little what's wrong with being at a few tables over and hearing some notes getting into your steak

I think it's good for the body. I think it impacts the nutrition. I tend to lean towards kind of grinchy and even I'm like, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. It's fucking grin and bear it. It's 30 seconds. And you sing along.

I always do. Right. And that's the thing is like the people that are singing you happy birthday at the restaurant don't want to be singing it either. It's just customary grin and bear it with everybody. It'll be fucking over soon. It's 30 seconds of a whole life. The person who hates it the most is the person who's being sung to by the way.

Exactly. So it's like, just, you're fine. Just participate. Be happy, it's not your birthday. Social participation points. You'll be okay. Gavin Rosdell demanded banning angel hair pasta, calling it mushy and flavorless. You're cooking it wrong.

You're just, you're cooking it a little too long, you know. It's just, that's a you problem. Yeah, it's already to the point of mushy. But it's really hard to not get angel hair pasta mushy. You'd have to, like, to get it al dente, probably like, one minute in a boil. Yeah. Max, right? Also, like, is Gavin, um, Roger?

Osdale out of prison, celebrity prison. Or are we still, like, we still hate him for having sex with a nanny? Was he in, like, the Kia asylum? Like, was he, like, was he irrelevant for a while? Or was it, like, people were mad at him because he did something? Yeah, they were mad at him because he had, he cheated on Gwen with a nanny. Ben Affleck and Jewel also. Like, there's a whole.

Arnold Schwarzenegger did it? Arnold Schwarzenegger had a kid. He had a kid. Right. And who he loves more than I think his actual kids. He's always flaunting him. Because that is the one kid that looks like him. It's a one kid that's like...

Is it Patrick from White Lotus? No, that's his regular kid. That's his regular kid. Who's the affair kid? He looks like a bodybuilder. And he's not a celebrity of this. No. Okay.

Right. Looks just like him. Created in his father's image. That's dark. That's dark. When a son looks too much like a father, it's like what happened in the home. Do you think tell me more? Well, maybe this is just my like dad was out the house type of mindset where I'm like,

yeah, if your dad loves you too much, you're gay. So it's just me being defensive. That was fully me being defensive. That was me projecting onto a father's love for a child. That was damage. That was trauma. You're not off base because look at it. It's like his own children that were raised in his house with him

are not like him at all. But then the one child that is like, you know, in often the shadows. Because you're chasing daddy's love. Exactly. Carving yourself out in daddy's image so that he can see you. I mean, listen, my dad always wanted to be a stand-up comic. That's my job now. And guess what?

Has he ever asked me more questions about myself in my life than since I started getting success with stand-up? Nope. So look at that now. Every time I fucking talk to my dad, it's like a deadline.com interview, I swear to God. It's like, he is curious for damn wants. And that's a beautiful thing. We found our way back to each other.

It just, you know, I had to sort of do the thing that he always dreamed of in order to get that, but, you know, many such cases. Sometimes it's like that with ex-boyfriends too. Yeah. Or current boyfriends. Tell me. Give me an example. I can't think of any, but it just feels right to me that you do the thing that you knew your ex always wanted. Oh, right, right, right.

And it also makes you feel like you're always a part of them or that they can't ignore you. They can't erase you in the past because it's like, oh, you're going to see me in the magazines that you read. You're going to see me, you know, in the clubs that you frequent, stuff like that. Yeah. Do you have siblings? No. I've picked up on that. It's a nice way.

Yeah, I have no siblings. And it's a beautiful life. I'm glad for it. Yeah. I think I would be a terrible sister. I mean, the way that, like, people on the internet are, like, nobody talks about, like, the runoff trauma of, like, having, like, a special needs sibling as, like, the other sibling. It's, like, that's how my siblings would be on TikTok if I had siblings. My siblings would be on TikTok, like, nobody talks about how actually hard it is to have Ivy Wolk as your fucking sister.

Everything was about her. All the attention went to her. Yeah, I think it would have been damaging. America's gotten soft ever since we stopped drinking whole milk. I mean, I think... It's such a lame nothing take to me. Yeah. It's like nothing there.

It's like everyone's soft now. It's like that's so... You're not saying anything to me. Yeah. I just think like there's, you know, correlation does not equal causation. It's like, yeah, we stopped drinking whole milk and then also other cultural forces are by. It's just like sex is bullshit of like some guy. guys probably like, why do we need

almond milk? It's like so what? We like it. We like different milk. Options. Let's live. He's mad that the world has broadened. He's like, oh, women having opinions, it's like yeah, yeah. New fucking turning over the new leaf, motherfucker. And the cows need a break. The cows need a break.

Milk and milk a coconut. If I have to go up to order, I'm not tipping. Kill yourself. I mean, I used to like, when I was in high school, I worked at food court in the grove at the farmer's market. We only took cash tips. We didn't have like any of the iPad turnaround shit because my boss insisted on us having a cash register from the 1950s, which you couldn't see behind the counter by the way. So it wasn't for the customers. It was just for us to be

confused and have to count out coins in the palms of our fucking hands. It was horrible. But so there was no option for tipping. And so there was like a little can like a empty can on the counter where people could put like cash chips we would all pool our tips as well like at the end of like a working week like you would go home with like you know two dollars and three pennies in tips absolutely fucking horrible and uh at sometimes like our boss because she thought like that tipping was like tacky so she would hide the tip jar so that customers couldn't find it so we tried to like make the tip jar more obvious and like put a sign on it that was like tips like a bright neon green sign that was like tips and we put it like right in the center where

the customers come to like where we ring up the food and everything and she was like this is an eyesore that's ugly hit it behind other shit was like if they want a tip they can find it they can look for it and so um the iPad is like even though like yeah sometimes it's like you're buying a seven coffee and it's like expecting you to like tip i don't know a dollar 50 or something it's like i always do it because it's like i know what it's like to like have tips be concealed and that fucking sucks going home with like you know two dollars and like three coins in a fucking paper clip like and just like that's your wares for the evening it's like that fucking sucks so i'm always going to tip i mean especially if i am paying a seven dollar eight dollar coffee it's like

if i'm already there doing that i have the money for that i can no exactly if i'm already like out not making something at home and buying something extravagant it's like at least the person that I that makes it for me or facilitates the making of it can get a little bit right I think this is also culturally like not up with the times because I do maybe just because I was younger but I feel like you know when I used to like go order at the counter at Panera like it wasn't a thought to tip but it's just things have changed so much now and like that's just kind of how the culture now is you tip at a two order yeah also I feel like there's a type of guy maybe you guys I'm wrong but who is always like who always makes this argument yeah and that gets a pussy real dry i got to

you nothing if you're complaining to me about a dollar two dollar extra like we're not we're never coming inside i absolutely hate that guys in new york went to date a candid girlfriend not a cool girl she got a lot of flack for this video people were calling her like um you know the internalized misogyny uh allegations were you know spewing her way i think like this is really true like men in new York definitely have like an idea of the kind of woman that is datable. I mean, most male comics that I know date girls that are like quiet and in grad school, you know, and it's like, that's a beautiful type of woman, you know, love a queen like that. It's always guys that like don't actually have much to show for themselves or like don't themselves bring much to the table besides like being

baseline funny and charismatic, like want a very specific type of sort of subservient woman. Like, it's always a woman who it's not like they're like on some tradwife shit but it's always like guys want like a woman who like is quiet I think sort of naturally at least kind of a lot of the men in New York that I'm around yeah so I did agree with stuff on this one um because I think stuff and I have like similarly struggled in dating in New York as women who are sort of um like as severe in our rhetoric as we are sort of in our um slavic American feet. And so, you know, our faces sort of pull to a center. We've both got the strong chin, the strong nose, the strong brow, and also, like, the

sharp tongue. And so I understood what she was saying with this, but I think a lot of people didn't get it. So, Steph, I concur. I think it's like a certain type of guy, you know, it's like the boring and secure guy that's probably, he thinks it means something in an optics kind of way. Yeah. Yes, it's optics. It's curatorial.

It's like you don't want to date somebody that will better you or be interesting for you. Maybe it's just sort of like what you can present to other people. I mean, I think a lot of the reason my men do a lot of things is for other men. Yes, I agree. Men are extremely homosocial that way. They do things to titillate and keep the interest of other men. I think so too. In fact, we talk a lot about this on this show where it's like if it wasn't for a boner and a pussy or any kind of like, you know, sexual needs,

I do think that they would rather be with each other all day. Absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, like, yeah, guys, when I was in college, like, guys that I knew basically, like, said as much where they were like, I kind of only fuck so that I can have stories to bring back to my boys, like, hunter-gatherer as shit. Like, you kind of just want to posture and prove to other men that you're doing something with yourself.

And it's like that kind of memetic desire of, like, the wanting to want and seeing somebody else want something and then getting it yeah so it's like men are just very i can relate to this in a way where it's like i mostly dress for other women yeah i couldn't give a shit what a guy thinks of what i'm wearing like at all in fact when he says i look good i'm probably doing something wrong right yeah yeah i mean it's like i have these like i bought these like stupid fucking shorts on depop recently that are like like very a kind of a pair of shorts that like would only be paired with a little fedora and like a vest in like a high school musical like on a high school musical extra where they're like plaid with like a maternity waistband cargo shorts

with fake cargo short pockets so the pockets don't lead anywhere sacrilegious yes like ugly ugly fucking fucking high school musical character ass shorts but I love them and I love the way they look and like fucking the guy that I'm dating was like those shorts are hideous Stavros Hawkees was like those shorts are fucking hideous and it's like okay well y'all dress like fucking shit so but then a really hot girl I was like at a birthday party wearing those shorts and an extremely hot cool girl with an amazing haircut was like I love those where did you get them and I was like I'm doing something right yeah if men don't understand that you're doing something right it does make me feel bad though because I feel like Dave hates

how I dress and I don't care you dress so cute thank you but he just longs for a moment where I might ever one day wear a dress a sundress oh my god I hear this all the time you're wearing like hot jeans that are so low thank you I know we see eye to eye you wear great jeans that are always so low where I'm like, her balls are going to pop out. Your jeans are always so low, but they fit and they're just hanging on. I'm like, that's your showing. You're giving us midriff.

Thank you. We really were raised in the same asylum. A red flag for me is if a guy is into lingerie. Well, that's kind of gay. Thank you. It's a signifier of like what sex is and what sex with a woman is, but it's like, that's not actually what it is. What it actually is is like my pubs have like a clump of discharge in them.

Like, that's what sex with a woman is. Exactly. No, I agree. And don't wince. And don't win. Oh, I've had the clumps. The clumps are there. The one lube, like, kind of congeals to the bush.

It's like, that's what sex with the woman is. And if he pulls his dick out and there aren't clumps on his dick. Right. Did we even have sex? Exactly. It's like we're sharing microbiome right now. There's yeast being transferred back and forth. We're volleying yeast.

It's like, that's what it is. It's not a fucking love shack fancy, like, I don't know, pink, lace bra with a matching panting and garter. Like, that has nothing to do with my life. That's Playboy magazine from the 70s. Red flag. I'm telling you, if a guy's like, I'm really into lingerie, not sometimes. I mean, he, like, brings it up repeatedly. I've never heard that.

He probably wants to wear it. Right. No, exactly. Exactly. It's like, why don't you put it on? This is itchy. You try it. Wouldn't you feel so gorgeous?

Wait, wait, laundry. I see I see a lot of sides here because to me I also see when a guy doesn't care at all about lingerie that's a little insulting well if you like it come with it if you offer it but if a man is invoking it like I would really like you to wear this it's like then put it on exactly because if you already like it and it's already a part of your you know rotation that's one thing and he's like oh wow I really like that because there's nothing I'm sorry there is nothing worse and more just like degrading to your self-image when you like try and put on like a sexy thing and a guy literally doesn't notice. Yeah. That's like, think about that angle for a second. I do and I have and I kind of like it. When he doesn't. I love when I try and like in terms of just like underwear, say for instance, because I've

gone really extreme. Jules, you can, you can speak to this. The panties that I'm rocking these days are not even considered panties. I don't know what they are, but they hang, they're baggy. I do the hang. I do like little boys like boxer brief. that like pool around the ass because they're like supposed to fit like a pull up on

right like that's what I'm wearing Disgusting diapers diapers Yeah to bed every night I winnie the poo around the house Just with a really ugly t-shirt with hanging diaper butt Yeah good for you you're just fighting like you're just I have a take and it's against you Okay okay I think you are having a defense mechanism

Against like trying and being so and I know not all the time But I'm just saying there could be embedded in you where you're like, I'm not going to try and I'm not going to be a little sexy because, like, I've been with a guy where I do try and they don't care. So why bother? Okay.

So to that, I say, I've done the variety of diapers. I've worn diapers to very pretty things. And the reason that I find it a green flag in my partner, like he literally, because I don't think very highly of men, he doesn't notice. He doesn't notice when I'm wearing a diaper or something very sexy and it just takes the pressure off in terms of, like, and even when I try, he wants to fuck me.

Even when I don't, he wants to fuck me. But I'm not arguing against that. I think that's great, too. I agree with that. But I just feel like if you do try, like maybe a little acknowledgement would be nice and not to just have. In what way? Like, if you got like a pushup bra or like whatever the fuck. Why the pushups?

Because you know that that's like the one thing that really like makes the difference is like all the cleavage, you know? Like just something that was really sexy. Like, you want to be noticed. You don't want it to be like, it's nothing. The problem, though, is my idea of sexy is so unbelievably skewed. Like, I've realized this. Like, only in, like, the past year of my life have I actually, like, put any sort of concerted effort into trying to present as, like, sexy or even, like, baseline feminine. Like, I used to just, like, I used to just, like, turtle from entourage, like, every single day.

And I'm kind of where doing that with the shorts, but the top is tight. and that's the gesture that I'm offering you. But usually it is like shorts down to my calves. Like my outfits all last year, it was like a flatbrim hat backwards, a chain, a 3xel men's shirt, and then like shorts that went down to my ankles. And like, I was like, why is nobody trying to fuck me? And like, that's how I dress. My idea of like sexing up an outfit is like ripping a hole in a pair of fish nets and like

putting them on with like shoes that are like ripped and disgusting. And a dress that is like the worst color of all time that has like two. many buckles and like and then eyeliner that like goes all the way to like my temples that's like when I am like I'm stepping out tonight that's what the fuck I'm wearing and it like still doesn't really work but to me

it's like I'm figuring it out and so you're feeling that I'm feeling it what's frustrating it's not really to me what's frustrating is like when a man doesn't notice anything but what's frustrating is when a man can't see you trying because like when I dress like that and then I show up on a date and a guy's like what are you wearing I'm like you can't see that this is me like trying to

be pretty for you? This is me trying to be sexy for you. Can't you just appreciate like the gesture, the sheer notion of it? So when was the last time you wore a sundress? You too? I don't, I just don't dress like that. I know. I just don't. That's just not a thing. I don't. Honestly, dresses are not comfortable for me. Like every once in a while, put one on and I feel really cute. But there's something specific to sun dresses. Yeah. I think it's like a good tradwife type of thing where it's like, you know, they've got this sort of like roost, loose bust that shows the cleavage where you could pop you know a tit over like the fucking bus to like feed your thousand children and then pop it back in and like go back to making the bread like I think really it's just like the men talking about like

the whole sundress thing it is really just like kind of tradwife conservative Twitter brain where it's like these are again like the lingerie these are signifiers of what it means to like have a woman in your house and have had sex with a woman like it's not actually what any of it entails but these are what men think these are like the symbols of similarly as like me sleeping in a guy's bed for 16 hours a day being like, but I'm doing the thing. It's like the sundress, the lingerie, these types of things are like men being like, but that's what the thing is. And it's like, no, that's just maybe a part of the thing. That's a costume of the entire thing. Right. I will never forget. Like, we were in New York, me and Dave, and I went to this

like lingerie store and I got these like sheer lace like sleeves. Like obviously I know they're not let that's like not the laundry. That's like not hot. But I thought they were so cool. And they were they were so cute like i'd wear like a baggy t-shirt with like these like whatever sleeves and we went to dinner we were at foul witch and i remember like we were sitting there and he's like as like 10 minutes into the dinner he's like so we're gonna talk about these sleeves and that's the thing i get that a lot is like when i'm yeah i show up wearing something absolutely fucking crazy and a guy's like are we gonna address like your eyeliner is like literally all your hair is pinned back so your eyeliner can go even further up in your

hairline and like you're wearing a pair of like seven inch like vinyl boots and like a dress with like I don't know Morrissey's face on it and like ripped fishnets and like you look fucking you look like a rocky horror picture show hooker and like that's my idea of sexy and I wish that men more so would be like it's so amazing that you tried for me tonight instead of being like truly you look like I just picked you up under a bridge I do end up liking it even it's like I both feel like I both feel little embarrassed when he does that. And then I also like it because it is funny. And like we're obviously together. But like if it was not that comfort of like I would die. I would actually be I would die inside and I would want to leave. Speaking of Morrissey, Morrissey to me is really

interesting. And I went to one of his shows and he insists at the Hollywood Bowl. The entire menu that you could order from was like strictly vegan. Yeah. But you know he's like outwardly like racist. Oh yeah. So he is sort of like the juxtapose of like it can happen. You can. You can. can really care about animals and go full vegan and not care about people and not care about people at all like I mean I fucking I've got to fucking I've got his handwriting tattooed on me I've got my lyric of his tattooed on my leg like I fucking love that man in his work so much but yeah he is like such a it's just like what happens when a gay guy is so lonely that it rots his brain like that really is what it is like I'm seeing him at radio city music hall in New York

on the 16th of September and I'm like so you have to go into every concert of his knowing that it could get canceled in a dime you get there everybody loads in 30 minutes before he's supposed to start playing somebody comes out and is like sorry i've seen him twice now both were shows that he showed up to but it's like you know i'm like reading like ret like the morrissey like redid page to see like and like the show right before mine will be a show that he canceled or somewhere and it's like it's just like you but it doesn't matter you're indoctrinated if you've been indoctrinated by yeah i mean it's the same thing where it's like i bought something on courtney loves deepop that was already

they sold it to somebody already but didn't mark it as sold and so Courtney Love stole $45 from me and it's like that's the experience you know like I would prefer honestly that to or that's like the same as getting something that she owned once it's like having her steal $45

plus shipping from me is like cool like I got the experience that was also one of my lived through this I have Courtney and Amy Winehouse tattooed on my arm oh god I feel like Courtney is probably above all else because I'm never, I was never big into Brittany or any of the pop starlets, but Courtney Love was The coolest. The coolest.

The fucking coolest. And the funniest and like literally just had beef with absolutely fucking everybody. Yeah. I mean, to this day, still beefing with Madonna. Like, what's really funny, okay, is, so there was that, um, that letter that came out a few months ago, that, like, open letter from the Broadway community against Patty Lupone after she, like, did that New Yorker profile where she, like, was beefing with, like, Keisha Lewis and Audrey McDonald on the ship.

There was, like, this open letter that came. came out, where it was like 4,000 people on Broadway, like, sign this open letter to, like, try to get Patty Lepone to, like, issue an apology to these women. And at the fucking bottom of the list, a woman who has never been on Broadway once in her life, Courtney Love, like, signed the list. And it's like, bitch, you're messy too. And that's what's really funny to me is about it. It's like, Courtney is, like, so messy and such a hating ass bitch.

I think she just wanted to be a hater. And so she was willing to be a hypocrite for one second to just, like, sign this letter and pretend to be woke for a second. and like be a fucking hater and it's like the thing is it's crazy for her to like sign this open letter against patty lupon because they have a shared enemy in madonna right and it's like the enemy of your enemy is also your friend girl like don't fucking be messy and sign this open letter like you and patty can talk about how you think like madonna has no presence like go hang out you guys are basically the same just in different industries like Courtney love and patty lupon are

like the same type of like nasty like bitchy funny callous older lady just in different industries and it's like it's so sad like i saw her name on that letter and i was like i appreciate that you're like committed to being a hating ass bitch no matter what but also it's like you guys could have a great podcast they could have an excellent fucking podcast i love courtney so i love her so much she's so important she's so special god they tried to say she killed her husband and that's kind of like the apex of like allegations you can get as a woman when people hate you culturally is like she killed a man you know like that's because they can call you a whore they can call you a bitch they can call you crazy

whatever all this shit but it's like people will actually like take it to their fucking grave if you get an allegation of like killing a man that's like um aja argento yes with anthony bourdain exactly she will never escape those allegations no exactly if you get accused of like you know being the reason that a man killed himself like you're you know people will never I feel like Ariana maybe got out of that a little bit, but it still sticks to her once in a while. It definitely does still stick to her. But yeah, Ariana Grande, she's kind of a rich text in a way. Like, Ariana Grande is somebody who actually, like, has truly been through unimaginable horrors.

I mean, literally a terrorist attack carried out in her name. What? How many bitches can say that? Crazy. How many bitches can be that famous? You know, it's like, that's didn't happen to Taylor that didn't have it to Beyonce. say, they didn't have it to Brittany. Ariana Grande had suicide bombers at her concert carrying out a terrorist attack in her name.

Girl, you're famous. And it's tragic and it's so crazy. I mean, that truly is such a crazy thing to, like, kind of have on your rap sheet of your career. Crazy. A terrorist attack carried out in your fucking name. I mean, not that many people can say that. That's so insane. That's insane.

Like, Ariana Grande has truly been through. Full trauma. Yeah. Ariana Grande is somebody to me where it's, like, Like, she kind of, she clearly has kind of a loose sense of identity. She clearly has somebody to me who kind of is like, with every guy that she dates, she sort of metamorphoses and changes, her race, the pitch of her voice, the way she does her hair, all these things.

Do you think her in SpongeBob are going to make it? They broke up, no? They broke up. I don't know if that's official word. Honestly, it's like, I think here's the thing. It's like with Ariana Grande and Cynthia Revo and they're, like weird, homerotic, competitive eating disorder of friendship. It's like, that's the kind of friendship that you get when you're like in a theater

program in high school. These women did not sort of have like normal upbringings like that. They were like stars. And so, I mean, I don't know. I think so they were ever maybe became famous as an adult. But it's like she was always like supremely talented. It's like if you're like a mediocre talent in a high school theater program, you're going to find another bitch and you guys are going to like fight to see who can be the best

anorexic and also you're going to make out when you guys get drunk. they are now doing that in their 30s it's that type of thing where it's like they're just doing it later Ariana Grande dating like the geeky theater boy when she's like the hot girl who's like the lead of the musical it's like you're supposed to do that when you're 16

she's just doing it in her 30s it's like celebrities work on an entirely different timeline than the rest of us especially if they got famous when they were young they just the milestones are just they happen in different order so we must be patient with Ariana okay I know we have to wrap

But one last question, because we're talking a lot about, like, pop stars being, like, living now, you know, what they didn't do in high school in their pop stardom. Would you say, though, that Lady Gaga is, like, a full-blown adult? Yes. I would definitely, like, pharmaceutical company ads, like, that's grown lady shit. Yeah, I think I would say Lady Gaga is a full-blown adult. I would say, like, some of the choices that she makes in her film career are a little questionable where I'm, like, you're trying to live out a childhood fantasy. see again where it's like girl why would you do joker too and why would you think this is a serious movie you know what i mean but in terms of the music and like the public image that she presents

her music with yeah i think i think gaga is like madonna in that way where it's like this pop this pop shit is serious to her this pop shit is like curated and smart and she's always been an extremely distinct sort of like aggregator of like subculture and um culture in general and then sort of reflects it back out to us in a really interesting and edgy way. And so, yeah, I think Gaga, especially now that she's like, you know, just posted up in her mansion with like her kind of like a little bit fat, rich husband. And she's like, I take, like in the commercials like, I take my nerd tech because I have to perform. And sometimes when I have a migraine, I can't do that. And then she's making like, you know, a billion dollars hand over fist for these commercials. That's grown

lady shit to me. You know, Taylor Swift is not going to be like Symbolta, you know. That's not going to happen. Oriana Grande is not going to be like, we go V. You know, I mean, maybe, actually. We go V. But, you know, Ariana's not going to be like, Sky Rizzi. You know, it's like, that's not happening. But I do think Lady Gaga is a grown-ass bitch.

Okay. And I respect her a lot. Okay. Okay. And on that note, I think we've seen it all. This has been my pop star summit. This is what I do. I like literally, anytime somebody gives me a hot mic, I'm like, so we're going to talk about

how fucking, I don't know, we're going to talk about how Chapel Rhone is a fake lesbian and yeah wait see do you really think she's a fake lesbian i think she's what i like to call a reactive lesbian my grandma my grandma is one of these women where my grandma was so wronged by men that she was like i'm a dyke now and i think chapel ron probably if she like really listened to her heart would be biologically bisexual but i think like at a certain point it's like being gay can be a choice because you can kind of just choose to do that if it's not your initial And I think Chapel Roan realized that, like, maybe culturally and, you know, emotionally, it would be better for her to be a lesbian. Maybe that would add more peace to her life.

Maybe, like, coalesce with her sort of aesthetic more. And so for all intents and purposes, yes, she is a lesbian, but I look at her sometimes and I'm like, I know that maybe you kind of do like to have angry sex with a man. I get that. I mean, there was a time where I almost became a reactive lesbian. Yeah. And I totally agree with that assessment. It happens. I saw it in my own grandmother.

It happens to women. What's your perception of like Harry Stiles' life and career? Before, I was so disappointed because he would just date white women. But then now he's dated two black women. He dated Taylor Russell and who else? Olivia Dean right now. Oh, Olivia Dean. Yeah, so I feel like, but to me he's just like my end game.

Like I want to do. Do you think, okay, you were a one direction girl? Yeah. Do you think that if you had, if you had started liking one direction a little bit older, because I feel like there's some type of indoctrination that happens with us when we're in the third grade, right? And that's when we first like stumble upon like our first crush, right? Like I would still fuck a fat Leo today. And like with my whole chest and with my whole pussy. And I probably wouldn't enjoy it, but I would have to like. You would have to scratch that it. Yes, absolutely. Do you think that if you were like, oh, I like one direction, but you were 15, would you have had that? same, like, voracious kind of... 15? Maybe. Because you don't like white guys. I know. That's also the problem. You're scared of white penis.

He's scared of white penis. He's your one and only. He's your exception. I think I would just do a blind, like, I just close my eyes when I'm sucking his dick, but I'd still do it. Like, I, he's just, he's just my dream. He's not curly hair. You could pretend he's Latino if you squinting to not. That's true. That's true. Yeah. Gosh, that was so great.

Thank you so much, I mean. Thank you for being here. Is there anything you want to plug? If you live in Brooklyn, New York, my show is Struggle Bus, which is a competition to see which comedian had the most traumatizing life, will be at Life World in Brooklyn on fucking September 14th. My Instagram is at Wolk Mind Virus 2. W-O-L-K-M-I-N-D-V-I-R-U-S-2. follow me there for ticket information and I'm always hopping around on tour

so you could find me there and I am on tour officially and September 12th and 13 I'm going to be in Madison, Wisconsin and I'm coming to Portland Seattle, Denver, a bunch of places you can get tickets at pretty little babytour.com or the link below and anything else guys?

Can we plug this? This is out. Eb Ocean Club. Ev Ocean Club's my hair care line. Available. Availa has hair care. Thanks, Ivy. Really good stuff.

Go to Ebb, Oceanclub.com or at EmotionClub on Instagram. I'm excited to use this because my hair only looks good today because I use my mother shampoo since I'm staying with her, but it always looks bad. What does she use? She gets like custom stuff like from like pros and stuff. So she like has the nice shit, but I use the dollar store bullshit. So don't do that.

I know. I'll hook you up. It's killing me. And as always, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Bye everybody. Bye. I don't know. I'm going to be able to be.

I'm going to be.