Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Just Existing is Cringe w/ Justine Marino and Caroline Goldfarb

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

Oh Dear Sluggies: Thank the Trash Tuesday Gods we have FINALLY made it out of January 2025 (barely) in one piece. This week, to keep the LOLs going we have two incredible guests kindly subbing in while Esther remains shipwrecked (deceased). The gorgeous, hilarious comic Justine Marino is here as well as Trash Tuesday’s own Barbara Corcoran, that’s right folks…Entrepneur, Squirrel hater, & Ikea aficionado, Caroline Goldfarb.The gals talk about kissing idiots who don’t deserve it, celebrity gossip that truly shakes us all to our core & how online dating has become just a place where fun ceases to exist, all profiles are cringe & there’s nothing to be done about it but survive and advance. Enjoy! Chapters: 00:00 Dating Men: Just existing is cringe 02:26 Welcome Special Guests Caroline Goldfarb & Justine Marino, RIP Esther 08:40 Caroline is an Off the Grid Trad Wife 14:40 Anora Love 23:00 Caroline’s Dating Journey 37:55 Celebrity Gossip Piping Hot Tea 52:21 Obviously We Talk About Medical Things & Doctors

Like just existing is cringe. Like anything that a guy posts on his hinge or on his Instagram, like is cringe, like just his mere existence. I'm like disgusted with. I can't explain. But we're in what we call end stage apps, I think. It's apocalyptic. People have like are jaded. They're past jaded.

They've been on the apps, even off the apps like the there's just the drags left. Like this recent time that I've been single was the worst yet. But 10 years ago, oh my God, the apps were so fun. So fun. Meaning good guys. There wasn't like a stigma really. And it was just easier, you know?

People were putting their MySpace bioenergy into the apps. Mm. They're putting their MySpace bioenergy into the apps. And a shout out to our golden slugs, Mary, Thomas Shepherd, Kia Karbasi, Anthony Piganu, Ron Perillo, Chris Santa Kelly, and Ariel Rosso. Thank you. We're having so much fun with you guys on the Patreon. Definitely come check us out. Join us. Right now we have two full bonus episodes up there.

Klyle and I did an AMA this week that we uploaded, a whole episode answering your guys' questions and there's more to come. We're doing bonus content every week, patreon.com slash trash Tuesday, I think, link below. I am really shook. I'm amazed. This apartment is kind of flooring me right now.

Yeah, me too. Oh, me too. Every day I wake up, I'm like, do I want to go home? How do I get a friend like Gene Hong? Yeah, you do have a friend. You know Gene. I've met him like three times

and I've been trying to get in with him and make a friendship where there isn't one for what feels like years at this point. Can I tell you something about Jean Hong? You know when you meet someone and you're like, no notes? Yes. No notes. Yeah, he's so cool. They're decent. Yeah, they're generous.

They're direct. They're just almost like, just no notes. Direct is so important. Direct is so hard to find, you know? RIP me a new one. Yeah. RIP me a new one. Thank you. Be honest. Yes.

Tell me I look like shit. And I want Gene to be that person. He's not that kind of direct. Okay. Oh. Okay. He's not gonna tell you you look like shit, but he is somewhat like, there's no guessing game.

You don't have to guess where you stand with him. Right. I know where I stand. He doesn't want to be friends with me. We should ask him. Okay, we should. I actually have a good Gene Hong story. So. Wait, let's introduce you guys first.

You guys welcome to trash Tuesday. I'm Kalyla and today is, um, we're still coming to you from displacement. My face is still half paralyzed. Esther still has the poopies. And we will check in on her in a little bit. Thank God.

Um, but thankfully I, we have two amazing people who have come through. Frequent flyer, Caroline Goldfarb. The best. The best writer on- We'll call her forever. Sex lives of college girls.

Not anymore. What? I'll get into it. Okay, but previously. She's like, I got fired actually. Wow. Basically. And Justine Marino, you had a show on E called- Yes, thank you.

The Funny Dance Show. Not my choice to call it that, just FYI. You won. Very funny standup. And you also have a podcast called Glitter and Garbage. Yeah, so I thought a trash garbage crossover is what the people want. I love it.

God, you guys both have podcasts that are named after like detritus, trash garbage. Detritus is a fancy word for garbage. Wow. Oh wow, Carolyn. Do you think really I would have known that? I would not. I was like struggling to think of the, you know,

synonym for those things. You got it though. That's so thematically appropriate. What's your funny Jean Hong story? Okay. So I have met Jean Hong a few times socially and he's just got the best energy of anyone I've met. I'm an energy reader.

Top tier energy, 10 out of 10, no notes to quote you. He's just fucking cool. And when I worked on Chad, the comedy on TBS that I think seven people watched, starring the incredibly talented Naseem Padrad, who's one of my idols. She was on SNL and she created, wrote, starred in the show and it's ahead of its time.

Everyone should watch it if they have it. She is really close with Gene. And so she would sometimes bring him around the writer's room and just kind of like, Gene would be in the mix, you know what I mean? And he's just sick and he like writes on all these shows. Like he's got this really cool career. And I was looking for a house when I was, you know,

before I bought a house and she was like, Jean's really, really good with houses. Like he is. He is, he's the real estate guy. Like he will tell you if it's a good deal. I just have to say based on this apartment, I trust anything he says real estate. Dude, this is like where I imagine

Diane Von Furstenberg lives, this kind of house. There's crown molding, there's original hardwood floors in here. It's gorgeous. Is that oak? Maybe, I don't know, ask Jean. Anyways, when it seems like Jean knows everything, you've got to ask him, like, when you find a house, have Jean look at it. I was like, I don't really, ask Jean. Anyways, so Nassim's like, Jean knows everything. You gotta ask him, like, when you find a house,

have Jean look at it. I was like, I don't really know him like that. And I was looking at this one house. It was deep in the valley, of course. I ended up moving to the valley. I just can't help myself. I'm a valley girl. And it was this really, really cute house.

And it seemed too good to be true. Like, the price didn't make sense. And I was like, okay, Nassim, I guess like, will you ask Jean about this house? I feel kind of weird. She's like, don't feel weird. He's like, so nice. Like, let me ask him. And he sends her back, which she sends to me a long paragraph, like she doesn't know me. This is the kind of paragraph that I would barely even send like my closest friend or family member

being like, okay, laying it all out, breaking it down. He's like, this house is great. It is a deal. It seems too good to be true. And it is because the house was pretty much right on the freeway. It was like inside a freeway. It was so close to the freeway. And he's like, here's the thing. Like, you know, you're not really technically supposed

to live next to a freeway, but you know, that's kind of like, it's case by case basis. He was like, but the freeway that's next to is the five. And the five's an interstate, which means there's a lot of trucks on it And what we call that is a diesel death trap where you're like within a thousand feet of a freeway We call it the diesel death trap a phrase that will never leave my brain And he's like sending articles and he's like look like the aqi in this house

This is before we're talking about aqi. This is like 20. Aren't we all experts now though? Oh, yeah I know don't get me started on particulars Don't seriously don't. Anyway, Gene's the man. I didn't get the house and Diesel deftrap. I learned a phrase from him. That sounds like a Fast and the Furious, like 20 years from now.

The Fast and the Furious 40 Diesel deftrap. Fuck yes, Familia. Starring Vin Diesel as Diesel. Tyson Beckford. Oh, Tyson for sure. Gotta get Tyson in. The whole team. The whole team.

I know we're all about like clean energy these days, but like I live with and my partner in life, the love of my life is very pro diesel. And I have, do we, does diesel need a rebrand? Cause apparently it runs better for certain types of, do you know much about diesel guy? This is random, but I had a car. I flipped over my Jetta when I was 17

on the way to see actually Fast and the Furious. Oh, okay. On top of 50 cent kept playing even after I crashed. So he is my angel. But after that, I inherited my parents Passat, which was a diesel and it was really great on gas. Like I only had to fill up. even after I crashed, so he is my angel. But after that, I inherited my parents' Passat, which was a diesel, and it was really great on gas. I only had to fill up, I mean, I was probably ripping apart,

I mean, I am responsible for the ozone layer, I'm sure, but great on not having to stop for gas a lot. Totally, it's like you butterfly affected the fires, probably, because you drove a Passat that took diesel for like two minutes. But everything needs a rebrand because I think that like this whole clean air, clean energy thing,

like aren't we mining the bottom of the ocean for lithium just so we can like, Caroline, you're looking at me like. I just, my brain went blank because I'm like, I came here to talk about celebrity gossip and suddenly we're talking about mining lithium. I just like saw, truly saw stars. I was like, I don't have anything to contribute

to this conversation. They sound so smart right now. I'm like, I do not have a take on diesel straight up. Like I don't have a hot take at all. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I'm like kind of getting sweaty. I'm like trying to rack my brain for a take.

I will say I'm always shocked when I go to the gas station, I see diesel. I'm always like, oh, that exists. And it's expensive. I'm like, shouldn't it be the cheaper option if it's like the bad, you know what I mean? I think it was like the processed food of gasoline. I'm like, Doritos are cheaper than organic sandwich.

Right. I don't know. See, I don't know what I'm talking about. Like why do you make me do this? Some burly manly man is like banging his head against the wall listening to us talk about diesel right now. We have to change topics. Okay, we will.

Not becoming. We will. Okay, I should share about how I don't have a phone. Okay, yeah. Oh, yeah. You guys, I'm in my trad wife, unplugged, off the grid. I have not had a working phone for two and a half weeks. Can you deal?

Why? Because I have AppleCare, like every sane person. And I don't know if you guys have broken your phones before, but when you have AppleCare, you just reach out to your friend, you know, your AppleCare person who's like located in Sri Lanka, like, hey girl, my phone broke.

I need a new one. And they usually send one really, really fast. It's like an amazing service. But my phone is so old at this point. I have an iPhone 13 mini, and I will not deviate from my mini. My phone is this big. It's a poly pocket phone, but it's so old that it's on backorder.

They're like, babe, we don't, we have to like make that phone again. Like it's so old. So I'm like, fine, I'll wait. I'm in a standoff right now with Apple. It's on the point. Yeah. And you want that mini, you want that 13

and you're not ever gonna graduate. You don't understand how amazing it is to have a phone that's this big. When I pick up like a 16 Max, like what do you guys have? I mean, it's the 14, but it's the Max Pro. Yeah. Like yeah, you have the biggest phone possible. I love it though.

This is so big. Doesn't your thumb get sore? Well guess what Caroline, what are you looking around the last two weeks? An iPad. Yes, exactly. I am carrying everywhere I go for safety reasons. Like I'm loving that.

Just to say I'm loving not having a phone. I haven't opened Instagram in weeks. I like just don't need it. I don't need the distraction. It took like two days to get over the full on withdrawal. It's drug withdrawal, but now I'm just free. I'm like reading books. I'm like looking at nature.

I like see colors I never seen before, but I have to bring an iPad everywhere. So like just in case, you know, like if I need to log onto the wifi and check my email. And- Take it up a notch. Just go on MapQuest, print out your directions. You don't think that I'm leaving the house

with printed stuff these days? Babe, you don't understand. I'm going to a movie tonight. I printed my AMC Stubbs QR code. Oh, your A list code? I printed my A list code. I'm sitting down at a restaurant and I hold up my iPad and I say, can I have the wifi please?

I'm like a full crazy person. I'm kind of living for it. I kind of like it. So anyway, the reason I was fully 25 minutes late, basically, was because there are some moments where I missed the phone, like today, when I was sent the email with this address, and it was like, the parking is kind of hard to find, babes.

Like, call us if you have any issues. I was like, I've lived in LA my whole life. I can figure this out. She dropped a pin, and I was like, oh, thanks. And then nothing from Caroline. I was like, man, she's confident. She doesn't even need the pin. I was on Wi-Fi when I received that text, oh, thanks. And then nothing from Caroline. I was like, man, she's confident. She doesn't even need the pin. I was on wifi when I received that text to be clear.

And I opened up the pin, but I was like, well, I better not get too invested in this pin because I'm gonna have to raw dog it when I get there. I was like, it's on, I won't say the street, but I was like, it's off this street. I kind of looked at the pin. I was like, I've lived in LA my whole life. How hard can this be?

It was really hard. I pulled up, I want to clear, at 1 p.m. And I could not figure out the parking situation. And then I'm in my car and I'm like, well maybe I'll open up the iPad and there'll magically be Wi-Fi and I can open up the pen. And no, there's just not Wi-Fi magically. This is in a residential area.

And I was so confused and I was like, fuck. This is the one day where I really missed my phone. So I just wanna let you guys know that I'm really sorry. No, but I think that you are, this is the one day where I really missed my phone. So I just wanna let you guys know that I'm really sorry. No, but I think that you are, you're a warrior. Now you can honestly say like, I'm analog and almost analog and you're a changed woman. I sorta wanna just commit, is that crazy?

I think you should commit to just the flip phone. Yeah, exactly, I need a flip phone. When you walked in, I was like, oh, Caroline means business today. She brought an iPad, extremely late. She's holding a full-blown iPad. Like there's something going on with her and I think it's good, but I'm not sure.

But I don't know, like it's kind of sick. Like during the inauguration to not have to open Instagram, it was sick. I'm just saying. I think so. I think so. I think like, you know, occasionally like bury your phone somewhere. I think that's a good deal.

But of course, my mom was like, hey, I've been calling you for a week and it keeps going to voicemail. Are you dead? I'm like, no, I don't have a phone. There are people I think that are genuinely concerned, but this is my announcement. This is really good that I'm here.

Just reminding everybody, all my friends that are dying to get in contact with me, I do not currently have a phone, but I do. I can receive messages. Do you know when the phone will be coming? Is there a date? Is there a no, this standoff is worse than ever.

Apple will not give me updates. They will not commit to an ETA. But again, I've got nothing but time. Yeah. Mm hmm. You've got an iPad and time. Keep it coming. Keep it going. I mean, wait, what movie are you seeing tonight? I really want to see the Kiki Palmer SZA movie,

but my friend was like, no. I saw it, it's cute. I'm dying to see it. We're seeing The Last Showgirl, which I'm sure you've seen. Oh, yeah. We've seen it. Good? I was a little disappointed, full disclosure.

It's vibes. It's Gia, it's not Sofia. Just know that, yeah. But I mean, I'm always rooting for Pam, but it's no Anora, babe. I mean, Anora, I've seen- Oh, I still, I know you cried after watching Anora. I've seen it seven times.

I haven't seen it yet. I met Sean Baker last night. I went to a Q and A and got to meet him after, and it was real, I'm obsessed with him now. I feel like you could get in there because he found that comedian Ivy Wolk. Right, and also- Oh, I love her.

She's so great. And yes, I mean, the way he casts people, like he had seen Mikey Madison in Once Upon a Time in Hollywood was blown away and then went to Scream, the Scream that she was in, Five, opening weekend and left the theater and called her agent to put her in. You know, I know Mikey Madison because she played a daughter of Pamela Adlon in Better Things, right? Yes, exactly. That's how I know her. You know what? She's great.

I'm Jewish, obviously, spoiler alert, and Jewish people have an obsession with pointing out when other people are Jewish, so I apologize for this, but Mikey Madison is a Jewish girl from Sherman Oaks, like me. She is. You know what, so I genuinely thought she was a half-Asian

girl and I claimed her. I know. I was like, oh no, she's one of me. And that's how I like, I clocked it in my head. I'm like so cute that they casted like a half Asian girl as her daughter. She's not even white. She's a full Jew. Can you believe it? Crazy.

We're not putting up tens like that. She is so smoking hot. She's gorgeous. Her body in Anora is insane. Slammin'. She looks so good. My birthday party, my 40th birthday is an aura themed. We're gonna go to this trip.

Wait, so you're turning 40. Yes, and what's the feeling? Is this not like, can we just stop for a second? You look 21. Thank you so much. I love you so much. You're my fucking hero. It's all the bangs.

It's just the bangs. You say that, but it's not. Thank you. Bless you. I only do weed and mushrooms, no drinking. I think that's the key. Okay. Yeah. All right. That's the key. I'm still going to drink. You look so great though. I mean, you're Zochi, you're your girl. I've been like slowing down on the Botox a little bit because Zochi where I used to get Botox is really expensive. Yeah. Is that the place to go? What am

I missing? I only know because we've talked about it on my podcast and she's recommended Zochi to me who is- Who is she, where is she, where do I need to be? She is an NP, nurse practitioner at Facile. Do you know what that is? And she mostly works out of the Pasadena locations. I think she was also displaced. Oh no. Oh no.

It's not good when your Botox lady is displaced. Yeah, no, that's a real emergency. Then it affects me. And now we have a problem. Just kidding. I I'm very sad. I've been sad. It's not just the botox. But I I love Zochi. I think I have to go back to her.

I did something bad. What did you do? Well, it was just so expensive. You cheated on your. Did you cheat and go somewhere less? You didn't go Groupon, did you? I did worse. I did a lot of research.

OK. And I found a place in deep San Gabriel Valley. Like deep, deeper than I've been in a minute. I thought you were gonna say Tijuana and I was like, oh, that I respect. Honestly, it's not far off. It is so cheap. The Botox is, I'm out of there.

Last time I went, I got full micro-needling, full Botox. And I think I was out for like less than $300. Whoa. No. With PRP, the micro-needling with PRP. At Facile, the micro-needling with PRP, that's when they take your blood, spin the centrifuge and like put the plasma all over you. I think it's like $1,100 or something like that.

I, so I cheated. I do think that the Botox, it's just $1,100 or something like that. So I cheated. I do think that the Botox, it's just, it doesn't compare. She's so good. So I think I'm gonna have to bite the bullet and go back. But she's really good. Well, you look great either way today. Well, I guess I threw on a little makeup. Love a full beat on a Saturday afternoon.

I guess a little bit. But okay, wait. So back to Anora, your 40th birthday, and how we're gonna get you cast to the next Shaman of the Beavis. Exactly. Well, I did meet him yesterday and I was wearing the most batshit outfit.

I was wearing a Halloween t-shirt. Like it's Jamie Lee Curtis and then camo aviator nation joggers, checkered vans, and a bright orange long faux fur coat. Oh, and a leopard fanny pack. But I'm like, I'm in the back. He's not gonna see my outfit. And then of course he waits to like meet people after.

And I'm like, I'm meeting Sean Baker looking unwell. Like I'm an unwell person. I totally disagree. I feel like he loves color. The Florida project is all about color. It is all about color. He loves young comedians. He did compliment the coat, I will say.

So that was a win. That's a win. That was a win. Huge win. Huge win. We're gonna get you cast in the next movie. Thank you so much. My biggest flex, don't mean to- Yes, please.

My biggest flex is that for no reason at all, for reasons I cannot explain, Jamie Lee Curtis follows me on Instagram. Wow. I'm glad I didn't know that like coming in, I would have been much more nervous in my head. Like that is a huge flex that you need to tell everyone. So random. Also 7-Eleven, Hawaii.

So those are my two biggest flexes. Wow. What a day. Oh my God. In the presence of greatness. Am I not the most relevant, most important person on earth? You are. This apartment is making a lot more sense.

Yeah. You know why Gene has brought me into his life? Yes. For those two follows. We call it the JLC effect, the Jimmy Lee Curtis effect. That is wow. She unfollows me right after this. Yeah, she immediately unfollows me.

No, thanks. Isn't it funny how random celebs just follow you? Like Taylor Hansen randomly followed me a few months ago. From Hansen Brothers? The one that I loved, by the way. I mean, I feel like I've heard you talk about Hansen like no less than 20 times on your public podcast. Maybe there's a reason to see.

So random. I'm like, I can't believe I'm constantly texting him and blowing up his IG. You're like, how could this possibly? I'm like, how could he possibly know? I feel like the Hansen brother pivot, though, has been really cool because, you know, they were just some like, you know, teeny boppy band back in the day. But now they're literally working with like, like the Philharmonic

and doing real shit, like super cool shit. Well, they were always musicians, right? Like they played music. Yeah. You know, it was pretty impressive, impressive, although it was a little it was seen as corny at the time. But I had my Hansen folders in middle school. I sure did. Aren't they super Christian? They think they were. Yeah. So they transition from super Christian to like slightly less Christian.

Maybe they have a beer company now. Oh, yeah. I like Hansen brews or something. OK, I can get down with that. Or Mbrews or. Oh, can you name one other Hanson song besides Mbop? Gone to your head right now. Fly the Wings of an Eagle. That's a song on.

It's been a while since I've listened to the full album, but I did like that the full album. That sounds super Christian. Yeah, it and it, it- The lie and wings are big code words. Big, big. Those are Christ code words. Christ coded.

Like peace, I don't know other Christ, I'm so Jewish, like I can't even do this. Like hands kind of feels like a Christ thing. Bread, that's a big one. Bread, sacred. But, sacred, I went to Catholic school, so I've all the Catholic. Bread is Catholic. Bread is Catholic. Yeah, that's a big one. It's a huge. But sacred, I went to Catholic school. So I've all the Catholic. Bread is Catholic.

Yeah, that's not, yeah. I know they so co-opted that. Yeah, bread is ours. Well, and they left us with matzah. So it's not going well for me. You have the balls. That's true. We can make balls out of them, I guess.

It's fine. It's not that good. How do you feel about almost turning 40? I just turned 40. You did? Yeah. You look amazing. Thank you. You look so good. I's not that good. How do you feel about almost turning 40? I just turned 40. You did? Yeah. You look amazing. Thank you.

You look so good. I'm in the substance. What the fuck is going on? Thank you so much. You know, it's a little- It's toxic LA water, babe. It is, it is. It's extreme vanity.

That's what it is. And bangs, as I keep saying. It's just Cripkeeper up here. I pull up my, and it's literally, to me at the end of the substance, my forehead. It's this one chunk. So when you get Botox, do you not bother at all? I have never gotten Botox.

You never? No, I literally got banged so that I wouldn't have to get Botox. That is a life hack. Yeah, it is a life hack. Because also I got scared when I went to my dermatologist because I have a heavy brow and I have deep set eyes because I'm Sicilian.

So she was like, we could do it up here but then your brow might get heavier and you might have to do, because part of why I have these lines is because I'm constantly lifting my brow because it's a heavy brow. But then she was like, we might have to do some around your eyes.

And then I just got overwhelmed and got bangs instead. So I have done nothing except 9,000 skincare steps at night. That's kind of my thing. Well, it's genetics. Let's also just be honest. It totally is. It is. My dad's side of the family and my mom's side,

they both look great, but my dad's side is Sicilian and they all look like, like my dad has a full head of hair, salt and pepper, and he's about to turn 70. Is your dad really hot? I have had a few friends who have wanted to fuck my dad. So. What's going on?

Is he single? No, he's not. Just checking. I'll let you know. I'll let you know. Carolyn, are we still dating the same guy? Oh my God. What guy?

No, I think I've had, I'm not kidding. It's like six boyfriends this year. Really? It was my Carrie Bradshaw year. I dated so many guys. Only the 20 whatever. Sorry, sorry. I keep forgetting.

In the year of our Lord 2024, I had, I dated so many guys. Chinese New Year. Yeah, sorry, I'm going by the lunar. My bad. Yeah, so the answer to your question is, I think no, probably. I really moved fast. And Q4, I was a lot of turnover.

Wow. I am currently in an amazing relationship with the best, best guy. I knock on wood, really happy. Where he's the best. I'm so, so, so happy. I'm like, okay, I can finally calm down. But I had to really, it was a buffet.

It was a dick buffet. That's how it always is. I feel right before you get into a relationship. I was the same way, right? Before I got with my boyfriend, it was just like dick city, you know? Well, you have to figure out what you don't like to figure out what you do like.

And it really was helpful to have a lot of the recent, the dick turnstile like recently in my mind, because all of this guy's amazing, incredible qualities at making my dream partner were really put into sharp relief. I was like, okay, I had this guy that was so bad, I didn't like that. And this was that and that was it. But like, when I was really ready, you know, like I really knew what I wanted by the time I met him. I mean, I dated a I dated a lot of weirdos. I'm like, it's kind of, it's kind of scary to think about. Because every time I see people, they're like, are you still dating that guy? I'm like, it's kind of, it's kind of scary to think about because every time I see people, they're like,

are you still dating that guy? I'm like, which guy? And now. Yeah, but isn't it so interesting that like it dating that many weirdos will almost throw you in a state of like whatever decent normie I come across is like a godsend at this point. And then you like latch. Yeah. at this point and then you like latch. Like that's basically how I felt about Aloha, my partner, where it's like, I think I was just in this like cesspool of a certain type of person for so long, not Bobby, but just in LA in general, that I was like, oh my God.

Like when I met him, I was like, you are so beautiful and normal and decent and kind and like, let's just, let's be together. Please have me. And he was like, calm your tits, bitch. Calm your tits. LA is a really hard place to date. I personally did have to import from Denver.

Oh, you had to import. Yeah, so I imported from Hawaii. Oh, see? So that's what I recommend to all my LA girlies who are single, go to Denver, Hawaii. Like, but your guy. I got to import export business going over here. Like my Persian uncles, I gotta be importing,

importing D, getting rid of the LAD. No, my guy is, he's an LA local, but he's a good, the key was a setup, not online dating. The online dating, I wanna be positive about it. I'm not a man hater. I'm not one of these girls that's like, online dating is so awful. You can't find anyone.

It's so bad. Like, yes, it's all of those things, but I believe in keeping a positive attitude. I was on all the apps. I was even on Field. Do you guys know what Field is? Yes, I've been on Field. There you go.

I've never been on any apps because I started with my boyfriend when all the apps started. What's it like? You're Sicilian with a heavy brow from Denver. Like you've got a whole other situation going on. I don't know what's going on with you. The apps are crazy.

And I've been on the apps so crazy. So I've been on the apps in different levels. I've been in and out of relationships for like, oh my God, how old am I? I'm 34 for like 15 years. Like, and it's been so many phases of the apps and we're in what we call end stage apps, I think. It's apocalyptic.

People have like are jaded, they're past jaded. They've been on the apps, they've been off the apps. Like there's just the drags left. Like this recent time that I've been single was the worst yet. But 10 years ago, oh my God, the apps were so fun. So fun. Meaning good guys, there wasn't like a stigma really.

And it was just, it was just easier, you know? People were putting their MySpace bioenergy into the apps. We were just coming off of, I mean, what, I mean, Instagram was brand new, right? We couldn't, we couldn't immediately like search for, like look for Intel right out the gate. We meet someone on the apps and the first thing I do is like look at their socials, right?

What are, you know, are they, are they cringe on there? Are they not? Yeah, it was like pre people, it's like we're so post wave everything. Like just existing is cringe. You know what I mean? I don't have to explain. Like anything that a guy posts on his hinge

or on his Instagram like is cringe. Like just his mere existence I'm like disgusted with. I can't explain. But we've hit such a low in dating apps that I recently heard of this thing called food digging. I don't know if that's a correct term, and I might be wrong, but basically where restaurants will create fake profiles on dating apps, set up a date with a girl and the girl shows up to the restaurant and then ghosts her.

And now she's forced to eat at that restaurant and spend her dollars there. That's how they're getting patrons in there. Have you heard of this? No, that's what happened. Wait, that's what that was? Because you know, I don't know if you guys, it's like my favorite hobby is, are we dating the same guy, Pages?

Oh, I need to get into that. Oh, you do, you have to. Oh, you would love it. And you don't just get into the LA ones. You have to get into every single municipality. Like- Oh, I want Kansas City drama girl. Me too.

That's all I do is read. That is my reading material these days. The baby's crying. You're like, not now, honey. Mommy's reading about two girls dating the same guy in Boise. Stop crying. This is where I found out about it.

Cause this girl's like, literally he was texting me up to the point where he was like, I'm right outside. I'm parking. And then all of a sudden he's gone and then blocks her on the apps. And she's like, what the fuck happened? He was just parking his car. And it turns out it's a scam. It's a restaurant scam. So I don't know if this speaks to you in any way, Carol.

I haven't been a restaurant scam, but I'll share a couple of quick stories. I met a guy on Raya who was like on paper, the dream guy. He was super hot, super tall, super, he was Jewish. That's very rare. And he just had it going on. He was really cool. We had a lot of friends in common.

That's the key. Cause you gotta have someone vet their character. So I was able to like ask around and people like, I've known him forever, he's so great. Oh my God, I'm giving too many details cause I'm about to say something so nasty. But we go on this first date and it's incredible. It's electric.

There isn't a better first date in the world. And I'm like, this is my husband. I'm like straight up, I found him. This is incredible. We go on a second date. He takes me to a very classic restaurant in Los Angeles. It's very romantic. I wear the sexiest dress ever.

We're hitting it off. We're vibing. He's got a lot of game, but he's Jewish. So like you think that he's a nice guy. Like my brain doesn't go to, oh, he's a fuck boy. I'm like, he's a nice Jewish guy. He's like, tell me about his fucking grandma and like the temple he got bar mitzvah at.

He, we go back to my house. I'm not, I don't fuck on this. I wait, I really make them wait for it. I really, I'm like the full, the rules. I usually wait at least a month, but we were kind of fooling around. Like I was getting a little tempted and he did something to me that no man has ever done before

or done since, and I still can't believe I let him do it on the second date. He was like, he like took my shoes off and we were like really making out. He was very sensual. Like I said, he had a lot of game and he went to suck my toes. And I was like, normally I would have that reaction.

I'd be like, get your mouth the fuck off of my nasty toes. I also like do not have the kind of toes that would normally beg for sucking. They're I have kind of like hobbit feet like they're just not I like get pedicures are all like hideous but they're just not like suckable. The one thing I learned about the the foot fetish community is that there is no right feet. He wasn't giving foot fetish is the thing you have to understand. It was almost like playful and sort of like joking. Like he did it in the exact right way. Where you don't like, you can't be like,

can I please suck your feet? He wasn't too fixated. He wasn't like- No, he wasn't fixated at all. It was almost like an accident. He's like, how'd these get in here? He was like, oops, now we're doing this. And he did it so well to my,

to my, what I'm trying to say is like, it's something I would never normally let a guy do, but he did it with confidence, grace and swag. And I liked it so well to my, what I'm trying to say is like, it's something I would never normally let a guy do, but he did it with confidence, grace and swag. And I liked it. I was like, this guy's sucking my toes and I don't hate it. So we like that, we keep going, we don't fuck, but he, you know, it's all great. He's like, you know, can't wait to call you later.

And he leaves and I'm like, fucking closed. I'm like, this is my guy. Can't wait, ba da da, he ghost me. To suck a woman's toes and ghost her. That's insane. That's low. That's low. That's insane.

To suck a Jewish woman's toes. I know I keep bringing up being Jewish, but you guys have to understand, like it's a small community. We've got to have each other's backs. It's like 0.0003 of like the world's, percent of the world's population to do that to a fellow Jewish woman, to suck her toes.

That's intimate. That's really intimate. That's so intimate. Why? Like you didn't have to even do that. Do you feel like he love bombed you a little? It's more of a toe suck bomb. Okay, okay. It wasn't a love bomb.

Okay. It was certainly in, it was in the neighborhood of love bombing, but no, the worst was like I dated this guy who was a Trump voter. I got dumped by a Trump voter in 2024, low, new low for sure. Wow.

It was like, it's really hard to say that sentence. I've done a lot of work to even just be able to share that, but I'm not ashamed. I am ashamed. Sorry. Let me, let me.. But I'm not ashamed. I am ashamed. Sorry. Let me, let me. Anyway, I'm like, watch me. I'm gonna be like Kimberly Guilfoyle in two years.

You're like, sorry, who are you guys? I'm in the Trump administration now. I got dumped by a Trump voter in 2024, but he really loved bombing. It's like the Trump thing is almost secondary to love bombing. He, it was fully like, I know, you're gonna need your stuffy for this one.

I know, I feel like I need, I need. He was like, we're getting married. We dated for like a couple months, was a little more serious. He had me meet his family. He, I like- How long ago was this? I can't be too specific with the timelines.

I have to protect the innocent. I wanna say 2016, let's just say that. No, it was fully last year. It was when the last, it was when the last Trump campaign. It was when the last six months campaign. I was gonna say, we were dating in the lead up to the election. It was, tensions were high.

Oh, and he lied to me. Sorry, I have to go back. Oh yeah. So he was a Jew and he was, I don't wanna like get too political on here, but he was a full blown Zionist, let's say that. And I know a lot of Zionists are pro Trump. It's kind of like a different thing.

It's still, it's abhorrent and it's disgusting to vote for Trump. I don't care like where you are. It's gross. But he was sort of like, I was like picking up on super Zionist vibes. If there's anything wrong with that, that's not a bad word. But I don't personally, it doesn't matter.

Point is that on our second date, I was like, you're not voting for Trump, are you? Like, ha ha, you know, where you stand on that. And he was like, no, no, of course not. He lied. And then a month or so later, he was like, ha ha, you know, where you stand on that. And he was like, no, no, of course not. He lied. And then a month or so later, he was like, look, he's like, I want you to get to know me. I want you to see that I'm a good person

before I told you that I was voting for Trump. Cause if I told you on the second date, like you wouldn't have wanted to date me. Is that true or false? I was like, it's probably true. He's like, but yeah, I'm voting for Trump. And then I saw this whole new side of him came out. This contrarian kind of like that bro Trumpy

like Mark Zuckerberg. Like I remember when Tim Walz was announced as the VP. I remember we all like for a minute he was really great. He kind of like ended up being a dud. But for a minute we're like, oh my God, he's like this guy from the Midwest, he's a teacher. He coaches the peewee football. And I remember he was like, ugh, Tim Walz is disgusting.

Like that side of him came out. I was like, what are you talking about? This is like the nicest guy. He fucking coaches like little kids football. He's like, oh. He loves his daughters. He's like, he coaches little kids football. And he's like, obviously that's fake.

Like I saw this like whole like weird conspiracy theory but don't worry, he did dump me. Anyway, point is that I'm dating the best guy now. I like hope he doesn't hear this because yes, I date a few frogs, but anyway, leave out my prince. Yay. No, no, he's really great.

He's gonna light my Michelle Obama candle for you tonight. Please do. Yeah, this has gotta work out. Speaking of which, we need to talk about something. Yes. Are you guys keeping up with the Barack Jen rumors? No, tell me. Okay, I saw a little something about it

and I need you to break it down for me. I'm too wrapped up in the Justin Baldoni. Also, I'm still stuck on that. I need to break up. I fall asleep to TikToks about that every night. Me too. Like I could be a lawyer. I feel like I've been to law school

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Please play responsibly on behalf of Boothill Casino Resort, Kansas 21 plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Voided on terror, new customers only. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance for additional terms responsible. Gaming resources, cdkng.co. Audio. Okay, but Barack and Jen,

cause this is interesting. I saw something, I know nothing about this. There's been a rumor percolating for years and it's kind of had its moments of like heat then gone away and now it's back on that Barack Obama and Jennifer fucking Aniston have been in a pretty open affair slash like maybe it's a relationship. So this has been a rumor for a minute,

but it's so outlandish, right? Like you hear that you're like, no, like he's in love with the coolest, most amazing woman on earth, Michelle Obama. He just posted Michelle like two days ago. Babe, you're going to want to grip that stuffy because my sources, which are pretty reliable, I heard this months ago and my sources say it's absolutely true. So here's the thing, Michelle, Michelle and Barack have never pretended to have a perfect marriage. Like read the receipts. She's like when he was in his first term,

I fucking hated him. Right, I do. Like they've had their ups and downs. They're really, really open about it. And I love that about them. It's one of the many, many things I love about both of them in particular, Michelle, like they're totally honest. They don't pretend to have this like perfect flawless relationship.

And they apparently, look, apparently they're just like living separate lives. Washington has kind of known about it. The DC gossip circles have known about this for a while, but obviously they fully pretend, like I'm sure you guys saw Brock's birthday post to Michelle this week. He posted like a happy birthday, babe, I love you.

But they're pretending to be in a relationship, but apparently he has been having an affair of some kind or like he and Jennifer Aniston are in a full relationship. I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but it's true. I don't- Crazy. And you can go back and look,

it's like the rumor has been around and there's even this clip of Jimmy Kimmel has Jennifer Aniston on the show and he pulls up an In Touch magazine and the cover, it's like In Touch, which those are always fake, those stories. So it's sort of played as this joke. He's like, so like the cover story for In Touch this week

is that you and Jennifer Aniston, or you and Barack Obama are having an affair, like care to comment? It's like a joke. He's like, ha ha, like this is crazy. She's like, she's like, I've met him once. Like I don't even know him. I met Michelle more times.

She totally denies it, but you have to watch this clip. You can tell they're fucking. She just has this kind of flustered, weird reaction to it. And knowing what I know now, and going back and seeing that clip, I don't know. Apparently her friends know, like it's been open in her circle. Let's play this out.

Go ahead. What truly would happen if they announce a divorce and they both move on? Like, is it such a terrible thing for- No, and they're the smartest- What is the point of even staying together then if they're carrying on this like long- The point of staying together is that they are not just a couple,

they're a billion dollar brand. They have a super successful production company. He's a former president. It's earth shaking, earth shattering news. I mean, he's like got state functions to attend. For example, this week, or in the last couple of weeks, he went to Jimmy Carter's funeral and Trump's inauguration. She wasn't at either.

People were saying like that was a big deal that she did not, you know, all the other presidential spouses were with them. She was not there. So people were saying like that was a big deal that she did not, you know, all the other presidential spouses were with them. She was not there. So people were saying like that is kind of like the first, we're starting to see the slow steps towards an eventual divorce announcement. They're soft launching it.

It's a bit of a soft launch. I hope that they get back on track. I don't think, look, it's not over till the fat lady sings. Like maybe there's having a moment, maybe they're gonna get back on track, like marriages have ups and downs. I am rooting for them, I always. Well, don't a lot of,

I've always heard that a lot of celebrity couples are in kind of open things. I mean, it's so hard when you're on set and you're making out with people and having to pretend like you're in love with someone. I've just heard that kind of like- Oh my God, Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig. Yeah, them too.

Apparently like swinging, having like bi sex parties. You gotta be reading the blind items. I am just missing all these blind items. No, it's not even the blind item. Like these are, you know, I'm- Rachel Weisz truly is like one of my number one like girl crushes. She would fuck you apparently at the bi sex party that they're having. Oh girl, we gotta get you an invite.

Please somebody. We're gonna do cast. And we're getting you, apparently at the bi-sex party that they're having. You think so? Girl, we gotta get you an invite. Please somebody. We're gonna do Ken. And we're getting you an invite to the sex party. If you have an into Rachel Weisz's sex party, please. Look it up. I know I'm being reckless in saying like absolutely inflammatory things that could get me sued,

but I'm coming with, I don't have sources, but I'm speaking things that have been verified enough that I feel comfortable saying them in public on mic. Just saying. Oh, wow. So interesting. That is crazy. And can I just say one thing?

I love Brock, of course. Who doesn't? I mean, we're all millennial libs here. Like he's our president. Like he's the best. He's the coolest guy ever. He makes the playlists and like the movies and stuff. Of all the women in Hollywood. He could have anyone.

He could have anyone he wants. Jennifer Aniston? How do we feel about that? I feel like she was kind of America's queen for a while. 20 years ago, she was that girl. So I feel all American safe. She's a safe choice, I feel, you know? It's a little safe for me.

It's safe. There's no controversy. Also, she was wronged with Brad and Angela and that whole thing. So I think there is also a racial component that will not bode well for them. I think you're answering your own questions. So like why they're not going public with this.

I think you're totally right. I think we'll get so much blowback. Race, racism is America's racist. But I mean, are they so, but as far as we know your sources, Michelle knows about this. I think so. I'm hearing that they're living completely separate lives.

Michelle spends all her time in the Martha's Vineyard house. Kind of interesting. I don't know where, I mean, I guess Barack just like hanging in LA with Jennifer Aniston, Jason Bateman going to Cabo. I don't know what they're doing. I mean, it's just kind of impressive that they've kept it on the down low, but I don't know.

I don't know. I want to believe, I want to believe it's so juicy. It is so juicy. But also if, I mean, not to go back to the Blake Justin thing, but like this, now that we have all these receipts, it's kind of like confirmed all the stuff that everyone thought of what was going on with that, right? Totally.

Where are we on the, cause like every day it's something new. I have a lot of, I have a very completely different hot take on it, but I really want to hear just you. And I want to hear yours. I've been wanting to, I turned glitter and garbage into a 90210 rewatch pod,

which is why. When did that happen? Like probably eight, when Shannon Doherty died, I started rewatching 90210 and I loved it so much. It's all I wanted to talk about. So I just made it that. And I'm not gonna put you through that. I appreciate that.

But I've been wanting to talk to you about this. I don't, it's hard. It's like, well, cause you've never liked Blake Lively. I remember on my podcast. Always been a public hater. Well over a year ago, you said she's always, I think you said, quote, she's always given me the heebie jeebies. That was a direct quote. A heebie jeebie. Yeah, that sounds tame for me.

I'm sure I said a lot worse things. I think she's a fake. Well, also you never trusted her because she came out with a booze line when she herself does not drink, has never drank. This is why I love you. You remember the things I don't remember. I have a creepy memory. It's amazing. She has a booze line.

She has a booze line. I only know her for her most recent haircare cause I'm in haircare. So I was like, oh, when she came out, she launched around the same time that I did. But I didn't know she had a booze line. She had Betty Buzz, Originally it was mixers. So it was more like sodas.

So they were non-alcoholic, which made sense cause she doesn't drink. She's been very open always about, I don't drink. I've never drank it never appealed to me. I just bake cookies and stuff. She's a mean girl. She's in the Taylor Swift clique. She's a fake. She's a phony.

She seems mean, and I just don't like her. And I can confirm. I know I never met her. Even before all of this, I have a friend who was good friends with one of the leads on Gossip Girl and was around for a lot of it. And before any of this came out publicly,

anyone sniffing out that she's a mean girl, my friend said, she is Regina George. She's a mean girl. 100%. You she is Regina George. She's a mean girl. 100%. You can pick it up a mile away. Really? I have, I'm so- You've fallen for it.

I've fallen for it. I fell for it. I am so just, when I read the lawsuit, her lawsuit, the Justin Baldoni thing, I was like, oh, he's a creep. Like immediately I was like- He is a creep. By the way, they're both horrible people. I think they deserve each other.

No one is, is no one has clean hands. You know what I mean? No, I don't have a side to be clear. I think that's a problem, right? Is that when you try to pitch yourself as this type of person, male feminist, right? It's that that is the ultimate creep to me. It's like, Right. It's that that is the ultimate creep to me. It's like, yeah, what are you trying to? Yeah, it's such a fucking fraudulent thing. I can't even like get started on it.

I'd rather you just be openly shitty to women. Totally. Then pretend to be a male feminist. I know. I'd rather be an out and about woman abuser and be like, I beat women. I want you. I'd rather you be honest. I don't abuser and be like, I beat women. I'd rather you be honest. I don't want, I hate women abusers. So I know how to act honestly. I know, then I could be like, I could call the cops and like punch you.

But here's the thing, like what do you guys think about, like for instance, she said in her complaint with the New York Times, he called me hot. And then her lawsuit that got leaked to the New York Times. And then he pulls out, cause he went through with all the receipts. And when he said it will be hot,

he was talking about the temperature. It's a he said, she said, I will not be bogged down by the fucking details between these two of these absolute complete fucking psychopaths. Taylor Swift is like footing the bill for the whole thing. And I don't like her. I'm sorry. I'm scared to even say that, the Swifties.

Oh my God, I'm a total Swiftie. I'm not, I don't, I've never. You guys, you guys are rocking my world. I'm okay, I like her reputation. I like her reputation. She's gonna kick me out of his home. I'm gonna beat this place. I know, you've had a hard couple of weeks.

Okay, I enjoy some of Taylor Swift's music, but I am personally not a Swiftie. Oh, you're not a Swiftie, okay. Yeah, I respect how much she writes. Oh, god, yes. The amount of material she puts out. Unbelievably talented. But I am a I'm a dance person and I.

You know, when she goes like this. Yeah. The point, her big dance move. That is not it, honey. My I need a pop star to dance. You want her to hit the five, six, seven. I need a five, six, seven, eight. You know. Wow, you guys are breaking my heart. Here's my-

I'm so easily sold on these people. Yeah, you've got to toughen up, girl. I don't know, you're jaded. I'm like, you gotta be jaded like us. Yeah. Hardened, like hardened. Right, oh my gosh. You know why?

Because I'm a people pleaser, maybe. That's it. We talked about this. We did talk about this a little. Before you got here, we talked about just hitting 40 and figuring out my people pleasing ways are starting to dim. They're not as like overt anymore. Before it used to be like, let me find you a solution.

Let me make everyone happy. I want everyone to like me. And I don't know if I'm growing up or if my energy is just waning. So I don't have the energy to actually please anyone anymore. It's like, oh, I wanna do this for you, but I'd rather take a nap. I also think, I think it's just being tired.

And also it's like life's short. We're 40 in now, you know? So it's like- On the back nine, babe. Yeah, exactly. Is it the back nine? Yeah, we're on the back nine. Say it ain't so. Yeah, babe. I'm already starting to make my peace with death.

I'm 34. You don't know what's happening over here. Not to get too specific and like health related, but I'm on a whole menopause tip. I am preparing myself for menopause so fucking hard. Are you on peri already? Or not yet? Not even close, but it could happen at any moment.

That's the thing. It really can, because I do have friends who entered peri menopause at 38. It can happen at 36. Naomi Watts went 36. Oh, that's right. She is the poster child for peri menopause. She's becoming the face of menopause, which I love. So anyway, point is that I'm trying to make my piece embrace death and menopause among other things. Well, you know you don't die when you enter menopause, Caroline.

Just immediate death. That is such relief to hear you say that because I have been so stressed. No, I know. But it's like in a in existential big picture way, you know, what what's really what really matters, what's important, what are the things that I'm going to do or not do? And when I'm on my deathbed, I look back and be happy. I did them or happy I didn't do them not do, and when I'm on my deathbed, look back and be happy I did them

or happy I didn't do them. What's really important? Dialing in, locking in, you know. Have you heard this theory about menopause and why menopause exists and why women are the more important gender in society basically, is that men, they can basically have babies

up until like my dad, say for instance, he had me in his 60s. Oh, I hate men. Don't remind me. Just in general, just they can do that. Right. They can sploosh and have a baby at 90. Disgusting, right? But us, we enter menopause and can no longer become pregnant, let's say average 50. Right? And they say that's because average 50, right? And they say that's because women have a unique, not obligation, but unique ability to spread wisdom that men cannot.

So it's like our job, the back nine, is to be the teachers of the world, which men cannot do so they are obligated. That's why they still have this illusion they're nuts. So all they're really good for is to not copulate. Just nut, just shut up and nut. Our back nine is to be the spreader of wisdom. The oral tradition.

Yes. I love that. Isn't that so sweet? I love that too, that's really beautiful. Yeah, that's one professor's theory. I was like, I will take that. Yeah, I like that. I know just that, hold onto that so hard too. Just takes one professor. Yeah. I was like, I will take that. Yeah, I like that. I know just that. Hold on to that so hard too. Just takes one professor.

Yeah. Okay, now I feel good about that. Thank you. You're welcome. But also look at like Demi Moore and just how like I don't have the money for that doctor. She looks so good. I have a whole. What are your, what is your- She got a botched facelift. Well, yeah, it was bad, but now she looks great. So then a pair- Who's the new doctor in town? It's this guy in New York. Is it Lindsay? Did he do Lindsay? I think I'm not. Well, she got a botched facelift. Well, yeah, it was bad, but now she looks great. So then apparently- Who is the new doctor in town? It's this guy in New York. Is it Lindsay? Did he do Lindsay? I think, I'm not, no, I think a girl did Lindsay's.

Apparently- Because she also looked bad and now looks good. I know. Apparently there's this facelift doctor in New York who did, redid to me mores and did Brad Pitt's. Oh. Oh. And among others, I like read a article about it. I don't know where I'm reading these articles,

but it's like, they're in there. But it's a deep plane facelift, right? Oh, it's all about the deep plane, girl. Deep plane. I know. What's deep, is that different from a regular facelift? I don't know, facelift technology has advanced so much and now the one, it's called a deep plane facelift.

And the downtime is like two weeks, I think. I know. I had a friend who yesterday got this, it's like a laser treatment that they go under your skin, but it's supposed to have the effects. All therapy? Maybe, it's supposed to have heat. I think so.

So the thing with these lasers, I can't remember what the word for them, what the category is, but it's like cool sculpting is one of them. Like these lasers that kind of promise a lot and basically like use heat, they really do have a, they're very risky and there's a high risk rate

and the effects, it's kind of like the thing you do instead of getting lipo and the example of cool sculpting or like instead of getting a facelift, O-therapy which uses heat to produce more collagen and tighten your skin. It's like, you can see these before and after pictures that look kind of crazy, but it's like probably, you know, the tiniest percentage of people that have those results, but apparently there's a little bit

Risky and you just kind of have to wait and save up for the big procedure got it. So wait and save Okay, wait and save. I mean, I don't know what your friend got but the thing I'm talking about I think it's called old therapy. It's very it's expensive too. Yeah, it's not like getting Botox You're supposed to get like three sessions. And I think the sessions are thousands and thousands of dollars. I mean, at that point, it's like just wait. Here's my plan. Wait till, you don't wait too long for the facelift.

You gotta get it in your, let's say my late 40s or early 50s is my target. Don't you have to dissolve all fillers and wait for the Botox to leave your face? I don't know about all that, honey. My doctor's gonna tell me. But I think I might just go to Korea. Why not?

That's it, that's it. I was gonna tell you when you said you went to the deep valley to get your $300 Botox. I, Korea, take it to Korea. All of my friends walk away, $180 bill and they've done everything. Wow. Wow. Everything.

They do crazy shit in Korea. My friend got a procedure called small face in Korea. A man, I know, small face procedure. It was like 10 years ago too. Doesn't that sound so cutting edge? He's like, no girl, like 10 years ago. You get put to sleep for a lot of the laser procedures there. That's real shit.

To get put to sleep. And he was like, it was unbearably painful. Small face. I don't know what it means or what it does. I have to look that up. I need it, but I need it. Yeah. Yeah, Chris crazy.

I'm so interested by the fox eye treatment. Has anyone, does anyone, you know how? It's a lift, right? It's where they put strings here. Oh, the threading. The threading to give that, cause some of them can droop, you know? The strings dissolve.

But they don't dissolve. I've heard sometimes. Yeah, I saw a thing that it's actually very dangerous, but it's to give you that like Bella Hadid meets a Disney villain look kind of thing. It's a brow lift, I think. I think there's a certain kind of brow lift that is like the fox eye thing.

But yeah, it's like, whoosh, whoosh. But you think it's gonna make you look like Bella Hadid, but then you're like actually a normal girl whose eyes look kind of crazy. That's why I'm like so scared to do anything too. Or just, you know, for the night, face tape pairs. Oh yeah, I love Dochi.

She wears the face tape. But instead of putting it under her wig and hiding it, like most pop stars I'm looking at you Gaga do, she wears face tape as an accessory. I love it. That's so cool. I wears face tape as an accessory. I love it. That's so cool. I love face tape. And there's also a trick,

it doesn't super, super work, where you take like chunks of like your sideburns basically and you, okay, so then you like pull really high. You pull really high. I'm getting a full lift right now, but you do it like under your ponytail. So you're like, I can't, it's hard to do it right now. You're gonna give yourself like.

No, no, I'm fine. So you like pull them really high under your hair and then you like style your hair normally over it. So you can face tape with your own hair. Oh, that's cool. That's a little, but that's traction alopecia, like the Jojo Siwa. Well, just right here.

I mean, traction alopecia is like, you know, like. I've definitely. Over time. Yeah. I'm definitely. Should we check in on the little one? Yeah, we should. Okay, let's call her poor as She got norovirus, I think so we think so yeah from ace No from she was she's filming a a movie in Chicago, and I don't know if it's craft service

You know how it's spreading these days That's not sound great. No, she's really shitting a lot She'll feel really skinny after. How much jealous. That's the thing about narrow. It's like you should you're skinny, but you're bloated. Oh, that sucks. Yeah, I know. So it's not it's almost like a period belly.

I hate that. Can you get on the scale afterwards? And you're like five pounds down and it's a good feeling. It is only at the very end though. During it you're like, I would give anything to not have this. Yeah. She might be shitting right now.

Yeah. Oh, I might've perished. Well, Esther died. I guess this is the RIP Esther podcast. It's not a good way to go, but she did go out skinny. Yeah, skinny as long as her stomach was flat. She is really true. I'm so happy for her.

So one of my friends that goes to the People Please are anonymous. I think they call it CODA for CODA tenants. Been to a couple CODA meetings. An interesting observation she made was that every person that rolled up to that meeting had a very expensive car. And she was like, everyone here is super successful, but super sad. And I do wonder if there is something to, of course there's something to it,

but people pleasing we always say is like a detriment, sort of a liability to our lives, to our joy. But maybe it is also a big reason for success. And knowing how to sort of like navigate when to kind of turn it on. Yeah. Superpower, right? Is it?

And sometimes like, don't you think that you're hyper vigilant to other people's feelings and needs, which can be a burden and a time suck and unfulfilling. But also I'm hyper vigilant and I can read the room in a way that maybe some other people can't. I can read body language energy when I'm like in an interview interviewing to be staff. Like I feel like I am such a diet in the wool people pleaser

that I can like be on my feet and navigate and like see what they're picking up on that they like or they don't like like and say the right things. And like sometimes in moments when you only have 30 minutes to impress someone, like these skills that are so locked in over years of being codependent can sometimes be your superpower. Yeah. I just think that the, the, the root of codependency is really sad. Like for me, I'd, I had to read the room as a child, right?

I had to know. Oh no, it's so sad. What my mom, what was around the corner for me? Like I had to know if my mom was gonna beat my ass, basically, like what had to be two steps ahead of her, right? So that's how apparently like empaths are built, right? Or codependent people or people pleasers. But while it is so exhausting to exist this way,

I really do think I succeed because of it. And it's almost as if like, do I want to treat and do I wanna get rid of this part of me? Or do I wanna keep like some of it to sort of like keep me switched on to my surroundings like at all times. Yeah. Why can't it be both? Why can't you own the parts of your personality

that make you who you are and like are your superpower? I know that phrase is so corny, but I always feel like there are people that have like autism that are like, it's my superpower. Like I'm going to embrace it. And, but while you do the work and like go to CODA or like read CODA materials or whatever to sort of protect yourself and like learn how to establish healthy boundaries.

And you can undo the bad things and do the work on the bad things. And I don't know, like heal your childhood and your trauma but you're never gonna like get rid of that part of yourself. Yeah, that is true. It's funny the super powers thing, Paris Hilton, as someone who went to the Paris Hilton concert last year.

Oh, how was it? It was incredible. My friend randomly got like VIP tickets, so I did make eye contact with Kim while wearing a skims cat suit. I feel like I'm forever changed. Thank you. She did not notice she quickly looked away. But Paris has a song called ADHD is My Superpower. Oh my god. No.

It's like a ballad. It's supposed to be really emotional. But I do have ADHD. So I do. It is my ballad. And it is my superpower. Going to be your first dance at your wedding. You hear that Mitch?

Crank it. Crank it. But I think I'm with you. Like I think it's good to be aware of when it's getting in the way of your own. Cause people pleasing a lot of times like you put your own shit aside to people please other people and then resentments build, right?

So I feel like a lot of my interpersonal relationship issues, like if I've had, you know, a fight with a friend or whatever, a lot of times it was because I wasn't being upfront about something. So now I'm just trying to be more upfront while still trying to get everyone to like me, but still being honest about where I'm at with things. Yeah. Yeah. I think there's like a cultural difference too, because like, have you heard, have you

guys heard of like low context, high context culture? I don't know which is which, but basically like in my country, you can't be there from in the Philippines. Like it's rude to be that direct. Yeah. Like it's it for instance, if it's cold out or if you're feeling cold and you're someone's house, you're at someone's house and you need a thermostat higher or lower. Instead of saying like, hey, can you make it warmer in here? You say, mm, Burr, it's cold. And then hope that they offer you to lower the temperature or offer you a blanket. It's rude to be like, hey, can you just fucking,

it's fucking cold in here, make it warmer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I identify with that. There's a word in Iranian for something very similar. It's called tariffing. And the idea that's very ingrained in Persian culture a word in Iranian for something very similar, it's called tariffing. And the idea that's very ingrained in Persian culture to always say no when something is offered to you and to lie about how you truly feel. So an example would be like if the check came to the table.

And let's say Justine and I are sitting down to dinner and Justine was like, please, I would like to cover it tonight. As an Iranian person, I would have to be like, no, absolutely not, you're not covering it. I'm not even gonna have this discussion, no. And I like take, and then you're like, no, seriously, it's your birthday, I really wanna cover it with you. And then I just go, no, seriously, like you're not covering it.

And the idea is that you have five to 10 rounds of this before the favor can ultimately be accepted. But you have to just like watching two Iranian people figure out who's gonna go first on the elevator, like it ultimately be accepted. But you have to just like watching to Iranian people figure out who's going to go first on the elevator. Like it could be ours. It could be actual hours. But this extends to Asian culture too, because we always fight for the bill. And I never really could figure out if truly we all wanted to pay or if it's just an act of courtesy. Now you're telling me that they don't in fact want to pay or if it's just an act of courtesy. But now you're telling me that they, you don't in fact wanna pay,

you just have to throw it out there. It's the game though. It's about the back and forth. Like that's what the word means. But it's ultimately about, I don't know, like being nice, I think to a fault or not accepting when someone's nice to you. Like I don't even, I don't really understand it.

I know exactly what you're saying because when I've, you know, paid for a meal, say for instance, or when I've offered and someone's like, okay, thanks, immediately I am like, no, I know. Put on a little bit of a fight. I know, I know. Are you just gonna watch me pull out my wallet

and not fight me? I am slightly offended. So like maybe that has somewhat ingrained in my head. That is so interesting. I am just so loving getting older and leaning out of my people pleaser tendencies. Have you guys heard of like the let them? Yes.

That's the big new pop psychology thing right now. Love the let them theory. Have you read the book? You should probably share cause I actually am not super, super. Oh, I'm not super, but I see TikTok. All of my information is from, so yes, I've read the TikTok book.

But what's the TikTok? Mel Robbins, right? Yeah. Is it her? Yeah, she's a TikTok psychiatrist. She's like some social media, pop psychology. Yes, exactly. It's a big pop psychology thing.

And she wrote a book. The book is selling huge. I was at a Barnes and Noble two nights ago and they have like a whole table full of like a thousand copies of it. And I think the general idea is like, if someone, let them, let them, let them do whatever they're gonna do.

For example, if your friends go to dinner and they don't invite you and your feelings are really hurt and you let them, let them. Because I think the theory is, and this is how I really do approach life. So I was kind of I felt like, you know, oh, yes, OK, I'm doing something right. Even if it's all my people pleasing is like you can't change someone unless they truly want to be changed. That's the theory.

And so and I'm very into like kind of like law of attraction spirit, all that kind of stuff of like allowing and not forcing things. Yes. And so I think it's that kind of mentality of like, OK, cool, if I'm not invited, you know, let them not invite me. If someone is not fucking with me, let that friendship go away, you know? As opposed to maybe 10 years ago, I feel like I would want to force it or if someone didn't like me, I'd want to figure out why they didn't like me or be really nice the next time or overdo it. But I am so in a different place now.

I'm just like, I don't care if people don't like me. Totally. That's on them. I don't care if I'm not getting invited to this thing. I just don't. I if my family like I used to be the fixer in my family and want to fix everything, I still really struggle with that, but I'm just like, you know what? It's not my job It's not my job to make you feel better and fix your life. Like I've got my own shit to worry about right Yeah, I mean but Koda is kind of fun. Like you guys haven't been to a meeting ever I haven't I've been to other just been white white-knuckling my, people-pleasing struggles.

Not to bring it full circle, but if I get the wifi password, I can send you guys some quota materials right now on my iPad. I'm not kidding. They're kind of fun to flip through. Like, I don't know. I've been to a lot of,

I've dabbled in some, that, what the anonymous is. 12-step. Thank you. Yeah. The anonymous is better. Yeah. I just really, I don't identify as an addict.

However, I just really like love 12 step culture and like think it's really cool and know so many people whose lives it's truly changed. And I've- It's so cute. Have you delved into the beginnings or the just the AA history in general? Well, no, it's like probably scary and religious

or something. No, it's not. It's really sweet and cute. And it's just a man who figured out one day that when I spoke to someone else who had similar struggles, I didn't drink that day. That's literally the core of AA. Bill W being like, I commiserated

and I found myself not picking up the bottle that day. Well, right, cause so much of addiction, because my parents actually met in AA. So I know. I am obsessed. So cute, right? So I have a very addictive personality. That's why I saw Anora seven times.

I've seen Titanic 21 times. So that's why I never tried. Oh, you're like Bobby. He made me watch all like six seasons of the West Wing. Yeah. No. Like 10 times. Yeah, no, I'm that way because, and that's why I get it all out with that.

That's why I never tried cocaine. Cause you know, Titanic is three hours to help. How much cocaine could I do in three hours? You know, like 24 hours in the day. Exactly. But I think the core of 12 steps is getting outside of yourself and helping other people. And there's so much shame involved in addiction

that I think when you bring it to light and realize like, oh, that person also has that issue. That's also why I like comedy so much is like I would watch sitcoms as a kid and like people would be going through things that I would be going through that I felt like alone about and they would be making it funny and relatable. So true, destigmatizes.

Yes, exactly. I think all of that stuff. Shame is a very ugly word. Shame is like the source of all the world's ills. Literally everything. Everything. Yeah, wow. Maybe that guy who ghosted me after sucking my toes

just had a lot of shame. I think he had shame. Maybe he had never done it before and he was like, I can't believe I did that. No, he seemed like he had done it before. He was really good at it. You don't just go straight for it if you've never done it before.

No, hell no. It's like, that was just his on a whim. Like I'm just gonna try something right now. If you're trying a new kind of crazy food for the first time, you don't like get two spoons and like eat it. You take a little bite, you're, you're a little demure. But the way he sucked them things, he had been down there before

in the Southern hemisphere of a woman, you know, not her vagina, her toes. So we couldn't get a hold of our little one. She might've perished. Yeah, she's dead for sure. Yeah. Esther, we miss you. You've been a great co-host.

Thank you guys so much for being here today. Thank you guys for coming through. Thank you for eventually making it here, Caroline. I hope that Gene Hong accepts you into his friend circle. If he does or he doesn't, just to know I was kind of in the game. Let them. Let them. Thank you guys so much. And we hope that the next episode, we're back in the sling of things in a regular studio

and that I have a home to live in by then, although I don't wanna move out of here. And thank you, Sluggies. We'll see you guys next week.