Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Kathy Griffin’s in Her Redemption Era

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS:    MAGIC SPOON (YUM!) Get 5 dollars off your next order at https://magicspoon.com/trashtuesday   HERS  Start your free online visit today at https://www.forhers.com/trashtuesday  for your personalized weight loss treatment options.    BETTER HELP Visit BetterHelp dot com slash TRASHTUESDAY today to get 10% off your first month.   TICKETS FOR ESTHER IN:  punchup.live/estherpovitsky   ESTHER’S SUBSTACK/SOLO POD:  https://esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com/   GET KHALYLA’S REEF SAFE HAIR PRODUCT(S):  https://www.ebboceanclub.com/   LIKE & SUBSCRIBE: https://www.youtube.com/@TrashTuesday     PATREON! We wanted to make this a place to share all the things we can’t share on the main show. We will be donating all proceeds from the Patreon to help those affected by the wildfires in Altadena.  https://patreon.com/TrashTuesdayPodcast?utm_medium=unknown&utm_source=join_link&utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator&utm_content=copyLink   ______________________________________________________________________ Kathy F-ing Griffin is back, is in her redemption era and is such a delight we want her back every week. She tells us the harsh truth about aging: Your tits get lower, your self worth gets higher & your nose starts running for no g-damn reason. Humiliating wellness routines, Buca di Beppo,Ye, Donny, Andrew Tate and the gang + the satisfying realization that money can never buy you funny → we’re talking to you, Elon ;) Kathy is a queen of queens and we hope you enjoy the eppy as much as we enjoyed hanging out w/ her.    Chapters:  00:00 Kathy Saw David Spade on Raya 02:30 Kathy Tells us the Harsh Truth About Aging 09:50 Kathy’s Redemption Era 13:30 Esther Asks Kathy Advice  18:40 Phil Hartman Appreciation Moment 24:00 Cold Plunging  30:00 Joan F-ing Rivers  43:15 Lance Bass Appreciation Moment 48:30 Kathy’s Dating Life 54:00 Elon, Kanye & Other Losers   FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS:    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday   Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday   MORE ESTHER:   TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/   MORE KHALYLA:   Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/   Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A    PRODUCTION:   Production Team: Tiny Legends, LLC:  https://www.instagram.com/tinylegends.prod/   Stella Young: https://www.instagram.com/estellayoung/   Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/   Ariel Moreno: https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/   Edited By: Case Blackwell:  https://www.instagram.com/caseblackwell/

Kathy, where are you at with your love life? Have you seen 64 year old straight guys? It's not too good. They all have Bell's palsy. They just don't know it. What are the chances that I'm going to like go on Raya? What am I going to do? David Spade? I mean, when I saw his picture on Raya, I almost called him

and I was like, David, you are hanging out with Kid Rock way too much. We love you, David. I love David Spade. He's one of the funniest people I've ever hung out with. Like, if you're gonna go to dinner with someone hilarious, go with David Spade. What have we done? We have launched a Patreon.

I'm having so much fun. We're doing episodes every week. It's a completely different show in my mind. Like, it's such a different vibe. It's me and you. In bed mostly. And I feel like we got places on this most recent Patreon episode.

Now there's three full bonus episodes up there that you'll get instant access to just at the $5 tier. And all of the proceeds that we make are going to the victims. I don't wanna call them victims, but people who lost their- My neighbors. My neighbors have lost their homes in the Altenina fires. We have a couple of huge topics coming up too

that we're gonna do dives into that I'm really looking forward to. And we'll see you guys there at the Patreon. There's a link below. It's our secret space for our slugs. Shout out to our golden sluggies, Mary, Thomas, Kia, Anthony, Ron, Chrisanta, and Ariel.

Thank you so much for your support. Start your initial free online visit today at forhers.com slash trash Tuesday. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash trash Tuesday for your personalized weight loss treatment options. Forhers.com slash trash Tuesday. Hers weight loss is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not FDA approved

or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality. Prescription required, restrictions apply. We go via an assembly or, compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety effectiveness or quality, prescription required restrictions apply, legal, unisombic, or not compounded. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased. Welcome back, Kathy Griffin. I'm so excited to be back with you ladies. Favorite, fan favorite, host favorite. There's nothing we can't talk about.

That's what's so beautiful. And you helped push my tour, the Kathy Griffin My Life on the PTSD List Tour, which went from 40 cities to 75. Oh my gosh. Last weekend I played Boston Symphony Hall, like I'm the symphony or something. Look at her.

She's all, the whole symphony in a five foot three body. That's right. Now I also should tell you that I, I'm not saying I'm overweight, I'm not one one of those but I have not stopped eating since election night and I had to buy these insanely expensive Victoria Beckham jeans in Three different sizes. Wait, how much were those? I need you ready? I've never spent this much on a pair of jeans in my life $524 for one pair of jeans They're they do give you a hand job directly from Victoria or David.

You get, you know, he goes, he's not, I watched that documentary. I had to have the pants after watching. That's, that's how shallow I am. I watched the documentary and then I was like, I want those jeans. Do you realize how much that woman has had to endure throughout his career? Just by the way, aside from the fact that she's a freaking pop star, the fact that she had to go through what she went through with from soccer fans. Always took the fall. And she was like the kooky one and he was the sane one.

And you know, he's no walk in the park. He's gorgeous, but he's no walk in the park. And I love her. I didn't know she had jeans and I want to rip them off your body for my own. So yeah, so I got them in three sizes. I tried to put on the smallest size and my pussy wasn't having it. My pussy was like, meow, meow, meow, meow.

Wait, does your pussy change sizes throughout the week? Throughout the day. It's either a plump, medium plump, or deflated. It's like a football. It's like a Super Bowl, like the, like deflate gate. Is this another thing they don't tell you about getting older? Oh, the pussy stuff is, is unreal.

Now here, so I was floating the topic with the ladies, which I feel that it's my duty as your aunt to tell you the stuff that nobody would tell you about getting older. So one of them is, I was very nervous to come here today without my toupee, because I actually have a toupee. You do? I have a fake bangs, I have extensions that clip in,

I have a toupee, which you're supposed to call a topper, but who are we shitting? It's a toupee. And then of course I have full wigs, so I call those big Kathy. And then the toupee is little Kathy. Because I started, I have plenty of hair. Shoot, this is all my hair,

but like bald spots here and here. So I had to spray, here, touch my hair. I feel the hairspray. It's crusty. And I use some old school drag queen hairspray because otherwise I have like one section of bangs and then there's like two blank spaces here. Boy, have I got the gift for you.

What? Thankfully for you, I have a haircare brand. What? I wanted it for you. Seriously. Now is it gonna help me with my bald spots? Honestly, Try It is the best detangler like I've ever used. All right, I'm gonna take this.

And it's good for your toupee. I I'm leaving it on display for the audience. Use it on your wigs, use it on your toupee, use it on anything. On your pubes. My pubes? Okay, what's left of them? You know what I mean? What's left of them?

I could count them at this point. Me too. Can I show you? No, I don't need that. Anytime. I stopped waxing because I got so sensitive that I was convinced that it was gonna start to actually take my pussy off We like I thought there's gonna be a missing pussy

And then am I gonna feel silly because I paid some chick to wax it right off. Wait, I can relate to this I literally have three hairs on my pussy. Yeah, cuz I cannot relate to any of this waxing hurts I think all men should have to get their balls waxed Even once in a lifetime. And I mean that hard rip where they just boom, rip it off. When they don't rip sideways, they rip up. Oh, ow, ow. Tell us what else they don't tell us.

So the nose running is intense because it now it's not snot. It's like water that just drips. And I get it when I'm nervous. Sometimes I get it from makeup if I have like too much powder on, but that's more of a, that kind of makes sense. What's bad is I get it just before I go on stage. So it makes me look like I'm nervous, even though I'm not nervous. But I refuse to dab myself while doing my act,

because then it would just look like I was doing cocaine. And I'm not. Imagine if that was just like cerebral spinal fluid just leaking from getting older. That's the least of it. I mean, who knows where those fluids are coming from? Because like I said, it's like a water faucet someone turned on. And by the way, wait till you start to lose your vision.

Last night I was driving in the rain and I'm telling you, it's a miracle. I'm here. I'm an atheist and I prayed the whole way home. The whole way home I found God. I mean, it was, the glares happen at night. Yeah. The glare, I hear about the glare. Yep.

Do you have to wear those? Why are you wearing sunglasses? Are you on heroin? What's happening? If you think you're having it pretty rough. Oh boy. I have Bell's palsy, so half of my face got paralyzed from stress.

Of course it did. Of course it did. What did you think was going to happen with this life? I can't believe you're sitting upright. I know, me neither. You're functioning. Are you kind of swimming underwater? I am.

You know what the great thing about being on survival mode is that you are not attached to your feelings. Your feelings are all the way over here here and you're using your just reptilian lizard brain to get through each day. Yeah. You're just white knuckling the whole thing and then the tears will come maybe three months from now. Okay. That's so foreign to me. Have you had, I can't detach from my feelings. I don't think. I'm a prisoner of my feelings. Yeah.

My feelings have me up the ass like a rusty dildo. And out of all of the trials and tribulations I've had in the last few years, it was actually my divorce that freaking took me out. Really? Like that was the one where I was like, get out of bed, Kathy, get out of bed. Yeah, because I'm such like a fluffball.

Are you able to feel? And a fool for love. Are you able to feel and cry in the moment as it's happening or are you like a delayed? No, it was a delayed reaction. Cause first was survival mode. So I got roommates, which is hysterical. You have roommates?

I've never had roommates in my life, but now I have roommates. And I know this is a shock, but it's two genuine homosexuals. They're real live homosexuals. They're allowed to move in now. They're allowed to vote. They have all kinds of rights.

Now that may not last with this administration, but that's why I have to buy jeans in three sizes because of this administration. How are you feeling by the way? I'm on the enemies list. I did a show last weekend in DC and I invited several of the heroes that protected the Capitol on January 6th.

And let me tell you, those men and women are on the enemy's list as well, and haven't they been through enough, and Trump took away their benefits. Crazy, but while pardoning everyone on all the rioters. So we had a pizza party. So I said, what can I do for you

since we're all going to the camps together? And they go, we like beer. And I went, I can do that. So after my show, we went back to my hotel and had pizza, we like beer. And I went, I can do that. So after my show, we went back to my hotel and had pizza and they had beer. Is he gonna just like never give up power and go for the third term? Yes, he said the elections are over.

We've had our last election and believe him. No. Well, he will die one day. He will die, but let me tell you something. President JD Vance will never die. You can tell he's one of those Republicans that somehow will live to be 200. Yeah, cockroaches though, they live without their heads.

Like Dick Cheney and Karl Rove, they just don't. What is it about politicians that live really long though? I always do wonder why they never die young unless they're assassinated. And why don't they get Bell's palsy? How come you have it and JD Vance doesn't? They're giving it to all the hot girls. What is the problem?

That's not fair. Use your hot girl privilege. Let's call the vice president on speaker and tell him he is very overdue for Bell's Palsy. But let me tell you why. Because they sleep like babies at night. I am convinced. We just got served a big sandwich.

So I'm just gonna try to tell my jokes. Now girls, guess what I'm gonna do next week? You're not even gonna believe this. So I'm just going to try to tell my jokes. Now, girls, guess what I'm going to do next week? You're not even going to believe this. So I'm 64 years young, right? I'm just don't laugh. You can laugh at me because I'm laughing at myself. I'm this is so revolutionary. You've probably never heard of it. I'm starting my own YouTube show. Woo! Okay, that was a smattering. That was a smattering of applause. I literally was scouring the internet for fresh Kathy Griffin content. And I'm like, I'm waiting for this.

Okay, I'm gonna call it good trouble with Kathy Griffin. And I don't even think I'm gonna have guests because as you know, that can be difficult. Not everyone is Kathy Griffin who just shows up parking three blocks away by mistake. And then just calling my own assistant going, I'm lost. And I don't even know what street I'm on. But I'm gonna do it just to have something to do

with my brain so I don't get all depressed after the tour. And I'm probably just gonna look at the Cameron rant and maybe I'll have guests, but I don't even know what the show is yet. I'm so glad to hear you say this for multiple reasons. One of which, my theory with Britney Spears when she shaved her head is that she just got off tour and didn't know what to do with herself and went crazy.

And I think that we as touring comedians and performers need to be prepared for the crash that comes. The crash is real. And I get the crash even after a pod, which is a small grouping. Like, last weekend I had three states in three days. And I came home and I was like so depressed the next day. And then I was like, oh, duh, that's right.

Cause the three days you're on that high of performing and you know, I'm friends with Sia, the singer. So Sia says- I just talked to her yesterday. We love Sia. Yeah, love. Love, she's the best. Absolutely love, she's the best.

And so she describes it as like you're white water rafting and you're going along, you're going along and then you just go off a cliff and down you go. So she was like, you gotta remember that cliff is coming. Like enjoy the rafting and it's exciting, but the cliff is coming. And it's also such a mindfuck because like I, in my mind, I always think, oh, when I'm done with work,

life is gonna be like perfect and free. Relaxing and you can do all the stuff you need to do. Yeah, and then it's torture. What is that pathology and sickness that you both have? Because I have the opposite. I have a standup disorder. That is, which I see a lot. I have a standup comedy disorder.

Bobby has it, all of you guys have it, but I don't have it. Because I think as a normie and an outsider here, when work is done, I am so happy and so relaxed. I do not want to go back. But then... Look at us, we both want to... Like, does that not, like, okay, but you can't relate.

We have to run the show on our heads all night. So first I go home and have a tuna melt, but I'm rerunning the show and I have all night. I do love a good tuna melt. Who doesn't? But like, wait, but if you were just to have nothing to do for like a month, I think you would freak out. It's just that I'm like, I seriously am like I need to bed rot for an extended period of time.

I'm all for that. I think it's underrated. I think bed rotting is good. I mean, unless you get actual bed sores. Yeah, we don't like and then which case you need some antiseptic. My mom is an expert of bed source. If you do get them. She's a hospice nurse. Oh, then she's so lucky. By the way, I keep hitting my microphone. It looks like my mic My mom is an expert with bed source if you do get them. She's a hospice nurse. Oh, then she's seen her. By the way, I keep hitting my microphone. It looks like my mic is agreeing with me. It's like my microphone is affirming me like, yeah.

Wait, I feel like that's not true. I feel like in your downtime, you take care of like 25 animals and 16 birds. You adopt ravens. Do you foster? I do foster a lot. I've fostered maybe a total of like 22 dogs in the last few years. Okay, how do you do the handoff?

I know! Okay. I couldn't. I would be the foster fail. I fostered one night. I still think about that dog. Of course. I would be, I would have a hundred and I would live somewhere in Montana.

The sweetest text messages I get, and I got one two days ago, of the most beautiful grown shepherd, and it was one of the puppies that I fostered just a couple months ago. And that's the big payoff, I think, is seeing them so happy. And I'm just gonna be bold enough to ask this. What is it with hot chicks and rescues? Like, I tell my straight guy friends,

and I have seven, I tell each one of them, if you want to meet a hot chick, hang out at rescues or get on like a mailing list of rescues, because all the chicks are hot. I have a controversial take on just the rescue community as a whole. And this is like no slight to anyone who's doing an amazing job rescuing dogs.

Or lesbians of all kinds. Right, correct. Is I really think that we are a certain variety of broken that can only be healed through service of animals, not humans. Right. Like, a dog is just so unconditional, and there's such a, like, a true exchange of love there.

Yeah. That I, and I've been in rescue for a long time. I cannot say that we are of the same variety. So you could watch a human being just bleed out. You don't give a shit. But if it's a kitten, that kitten's going home with you. Correct. Okay.

I also think that animals don't have ulterior motives with hot girls. Like they're not trying to fuck them. Agree. They think we're all hot. That's why we love them. Do dogs really think we're all hot? I don't think so. I think dogs discriminate.

Interesting. Yeah, I've seen dogs. Like I had one particular foster. You're right, it can be discriminatory. Dude, just could tell if it was like a meth head. Right. And was like, no, thank you. Not into that.

And would like be totally aggressive. I need advice. Go. OK, a couple things. First, when you take a break from standup, and let's say, you know. Well, I took a six and a half year break, but that was for a different reason.

Right, that was for a very crazy reason. Okay, so you take a break, and let's say you've burned off your last set and a special. How do you start from scratch? Do you get back on stage with nothing and just ramble? Do you, tell me, cause then where do you do it? My first show back after six and a half years,

the Mirage was kind enough to invite me back. And so I'm doing minimum 90, but I tend to do two hours. Oh my God. I don't have an opener. I write all my own stuff. I tried to write a bunch of stuff prior to the show, but I've been doing it in an improvisational way for so many long years, decades, that something happened when my Doc Martens hit that stage and I just was able to go. Now I'm not saying it was all gold, trust me, but like I felt like there was a real

flow with the audience and they were like, we get it. This is her first time back. She's trying all kinds of new stuff. And- Did you have a notebook? Yes. I'm so old school that I still have a notebook and it usually has about eight things written down and that's two hours.

If I'm good, two hours and 15 if I'm naughty. Did you, so you, let's say, let's say you pick a topic and then- Like Kanye is tweeting today. He's tweeting, Hitler was so fresh. S-O-O-O-O. Hitler, just take that in. Yay.

Sorry. Yay. Was so fresh. So disappointing. And, and by the way, it was one of like 50 tweets. He also said he's channeling Andrew Tate. Yikes. I know.

I'm, what's going on? All of our pussy's deflated. It's just the channeling Andrew Tate. Yikes, I know. What's going? All of our pussy's deflated. It's just the mention of Andrew Tate. We can fit into the small jeans again. Seriously, get me those size 25s. So you take one topic. Are you going in knowing kind of how you feel?

I know my take on it. Okay. But I don't know if the jokes are gonna work. And you don't know the words. Right. You just know, this is how I feel. Right. Okay then, that's how you don't know the words. You just know, this is how I feel. Okay then, that's how you do standup comedy everyone.

I learned. Because remember, I come from an improv background. So I think it was all those years at the Groundlings, which is an improv group in Los Angeles, similar to Second City in Chicago and in Canada. And I think it was all those years of improvising, but that's the only way I know how to do it. Like I've never been but to like write an act

and then rehearse it and then do it. Same people are always like, what's your writing process? I'm like, I just go on stage and talk. Amen. Yeah. Who was your class of Groundlings people? Cause I know there's, we got Will Ferrell, we got Kristen Wick.

Will Ferrell was my student. So I became a teacher when I was in the company and Will Ferrell was my student and Sherry O'Terry. Oh my gosh. So they came up together and they did the cheerleaders and the groundlings and they did all their characters. And when I was in the groundlings, it was Lisa Kudrow from Friends and Julia Sweeney

who later got on Saturday Night Live. We all auditioned the same night, me, Lisa and Julia Sweeney who later got on Saturday Night Live, we all auditioned the same night, me, Lisa and Julia Sweeney. And Julia got the job and Lisa and I were crushed and convinced we were never gonna work. And then I thank God I got on a series the next year and then of course she became Phoebe on Friends. And we're friends to this day, all of us. And so I was even in the company with Phil Hartman

who was on Saturday Night Live, I know tragically. And I remember that night, like it was yesterday, but he was like a genius. Like there's a few times when I felt like, you know, Robin Williams, Joan Rivers, Don Rickles, where I felt like I'm in the room with genius. Like in the moment going, okay, that would be a genius. And that was Phil Hartman.

So brilliant and quick and funny and ridiculous. And besides charming and super, super smart and super intellectually curious. And I felt like he was definitely somebody that was influential just to watch him work. Do you know what happened? Like why that happened? I know that his wife Brynn was a model and I think she always felt like she was in his

shadow maybe and because he kind of got the glory because he was so talented and knew all the celebrities. And my guess is there was an element of the guy that was never the most gorgeous guy in the room, which is Phil, but also every guy in comedy pretty much. I mean, I'm being kind. Okay. But you know, then he gets this literally a tall, blonde, gorgeous model. And then over the years,

my guess is they probably didn't end up having all that much in common. They did have two kids. And then she, I don't know if she was doing drugs prior to the relationship or then got into drugs. And then the night that she killed him, she was partying with Andy Dick. Never a good idea.

Almost certain to end up dead. I have an Andy Dick story for you. We had him on Tiger Belly and my other podcast with Bobby Lee. And we have our show in our, what was our condo at that time at home. We thought it was just going to be him showing up because you know, that's what you're a guest on the show, you show up. He brought an entourage of like 13 people I think he had just met. Andy? Yeah. And were they underage?

I don't even know who they were. I just saw this whole. I'll just take a leap. Allegedly. All of these. Except he went to jail for it. And I had a full grown panic attack. Like Elsinore.

I had a panic attack. I was like, who the fuck are these people? And I was so, I didn't have it in me to be like, everyone get the fuck out. Hi, bitch. These are my friends. I just met them. I did a gig with Annie one time and I said,

let's go out to eat after, but no boys. I mean it, no boys. And then we get into the car. And this was in Jacksonville, Florida, by the way. And we get into the car and then this fucking teenage boy gets in and I go, get out, get out. And then Andy goes, fine, grandma. So I mean, as criminal as he is, he is funny. What happens? What like that does break my heart that part that he is so

clearly talented. He actually is funny and talented. Yeah. But I know. So I didn't realize that she was with him. That Phil Hartman's wife was with him. Yeah, with I know so I didn't realize that she was with him the Phil Hartman's wife was yeah with him Andy partying and then whatever happened that you know made her go and shoot him dead in his bed She also was she went to Boca de Beppo right before she shot him. That's a fun fact Whoa, and then Sino that is see it makes you wonder like did she have the plan in mind then or was it just but it was just in the comedy, the groundlings community we were rock. I can't imagine we just it's such a wild unnatural tragedy and you never would have thought that could possibly be his trajectory.

Yeah, so good obviously on SNL for like years like I think he was on that show for something like 13 years. Like I think he was on that show for something like 13 years. But yeah, I loved working with him. And sometimes I'd be in a scene with him and I'd have to get back in the scene because I'd almost like stop acting and just watch him. Really? Because he was so talented, yeah.

Wow, that is, because it's just like, I hate to say it, but you just, usually the husband kills the wife. That's just, that's how the story usually goes. And if the wife kills the husband, it's usually on snapped. Yeah. And it's a lot more entertaining. Oh, I'm sure they've done a million like Discovery ID shows about it and stuff.

Even, I think I watched even a doc about it. Oof. I know. Cocaine, it's a hell of a drug. It really is. Or buka de pepo. Honestly, that might be it. Oof. I know. Cocaine, it's a hell of a drug. It really is. Or buca de pepo. Honestly, that might be it. Also.

That's when you know someone's hit a low. Yep. It's buca de pepo. Yep. Petitini Alfredo. Okay, I have another advice question. Yes. And it kind of relates to what you just said about,

like when you didn't get SNL, you thought your career was over. Of course. I have this form of depression where when something bad is happening or whatever it may be, I just cannot imagine that it will never not be this way. I'm always frozen in that bad moment.

And I'm like, I'm never gonna get better. This is never gonna, whatever it is, my career will never go change. And you believe it, it really is internalized. What is up with that? Okay, first of all, total sufferer from that. And that's why I said like the divorce took me out because I was so heartbroken that I couldn't imagine

not being that level of heartbroken, which is not sustainable by the way. So I do, you guys, the stuff I do is, I'm just gonna tell you, because it's just embarrassing. I do cold plunges. Stella. I'm a big cold plunge person too. Okay, so then I don't have to apologize?

No, it's amazing. It rocks your brain quite literally, because when you jump in there, it's kind of like whatever problems you thought you had were nothing in comparison to a very fast death. And so you are you're going to almost survival mode of like, but then your other half of the brain is like, I can make it to eight seconds, which is still a goal of mine. But I found that like one day, one day I had a show in Canada, and I was so depressed and having a panic attack that I was fearful that I would have to cancel the show,

which is dumb because I've never done that. But they had a cold plunge and I was like, okay, I'm ruining the hair, I'm going in. And I did the sauna cold plunge a few times. And I had to even buy a bathing suit at the gift shop. And what's funny is my tits are real, which is a nightmare. And they're like hacky sacks and I could just put them over my shoulder or I could juggle with them.

And so I buy one of those like low cut one pieces and then I don't notice that one of my tits has just kind of fallen out of a corner. So like Tara Reed and that red carpet picture poor thing. I know we always hear her name and go, oh. She needs to come back. I think, you know what? I think it's not too late.

Rebrand. Well, okay. I watched her on that special forces show. Oh, that's right. Dr. Drew was on that. No, no, not Dr. Drew. It's like special forces guys that try to put people like Tara Reed into near death experiences by the way.

And Jack Osborn was in it. It was definitely wild. And how was she out there? She was in a lot of pain and had to quit because she you know, weighs 80 pounds and is very sweet, not entirely lucid. But, you know, I just watched her thinking, Okay, honey, you got to quit because you're not going to win. When they say she was 87 pounds wet, she actually was wet. I mean, they were throwing them into dark rivers at two in the morning.

They were like having them escape a car bomb. Like that show, I don't know why any celebrity does it because it is truly near death experiences. And I say that as the winner of the celebrity mole. I don't know if you guys know that about me. It's pretty big. So your titty fell out on the side. Yeah, and then the other one was just dangling.

It was just like a broken foot, like Conor McGregor when he broke his foot and he was just dangling like that. So I was like trying to get him in order, but I'm in like a public sauna and I'm taking the elbow trying to be like, I love it here in Canada. I hear Justin Trudeau's single. And so I kind of, but I look at that bathing suit now and I just laugh. I do it naked. So you can't do that at a hotel you lunatic. This is a coed sauna. Hi boys.

Don't mind me naked. Wait, three hairs left. Do you go to any of the Korean spots? It's fully nude. No, I should though, because those are good. And all the celebrities go. And I do remember going one time a million years ago and seeing Cindy Crawford naked and thinking, it's too bad I'm not a dude. Because she was such like the hot model of the moment.

Like, I thought, oh, my guy friends are going to be so pissed. I was wasted on you. Wasted. Wasted experience. Do Do you I do that? I do like anything I can to like act like in an AA they call it opposite action or acting Yeah, and just the opposite of whatever you're feeling like if you can shake Maybe your physical self like the cold plunge does then it might shake the inner demons Hers is transforming women's healthcare

by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans delivered straight to your door if prescribed. Her's offers a holistic weight loss program with personalized solutions, including compounded GLP-1 weekly injections featuring the same active ingredient as Ozempic and we go via oral medication kits. After submitting an online intake form,

a licensed medical provider will determine what plan is best for you. If prescribed, your program includes medication, ongoing care, and online support all at one low cost. So if you've been struggling with your weight loss journey, it's time you find the best option that works for you through HRS. Start your initial free online visit today at forhrs.com slash trash Tuesday. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S.com slash trash Tuesday for your personalized weight loss treatment options. Forhers.com slash trash Tuesday. Her's weight loss is not available everywhere.

Compounded products are not FDA approved or verified for safety, effectiveness, or quality prescription required. Restrictions apply. Wigovia and Ozempic are not compounded. Actual price depends on product and plan purchase. I'm about to eat this for the first time. I've never tried these. With the protein bars?

Pretty good. I'm sorry. It's so good. 12 grams of protein, one gram of sugar, nine grams of fiber. This is, I'm taking all them home, and I'm not sharing.

Every serving of Magic Spoon high protein cereal has crazy macros. 13 grams of protein, zero grams of sugar, four grams of net carbs. And now they have the protein treats. Okay, the protein treats are literally crispy, crunchy, airy, tasty, yummy. This one's marshmallow flavor.

This is definitely really good. I need to try blueberry muffin. Magic Spoon, if you're a protein and fiber girly, finally the cereal is back in your life. Get $5 off your next order at magic spoon.com slash Tuesday or look for magic spoon on Amazon on your nearest grocery store. Oh, and the cereal come in so many nostalgic flavors

like cocoa, cinnamon roll. That's magic spoon.com slash Tuesday for $5 off. Magicspoon.com slash Tuesday. You need the bars. The bars are great. You need the bars. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you're anything like me,

therapy is an indispensable part of my life. Well, I'm nothing like you, but therapy is an indispensable part of my life. I mean, the fact that we have to withstand months of sunsets at 4 PM. Oh, see, that's fine with me. Oh, my god. BetterHelp has never been more in need.

Our depression is so opposing. My depression is peaking. And I am not in a good place, but thankfully there is always therapy. It has been the backbone to my existence for the last 20 years of my life. And BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient,

serving over five million people worldwide. I cannot tell you how much therapy helped me during this postpartum year. Like, I was not gonna come out on the other side without my therapist. You guys can discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash trash Tuesday today

to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, h-e-l-p dot com slash trash Tuesday. I need to remember opposite action. That's always good. Get out of bed when you don't want to. And they say for like in biology, the idea like to evolve, you need medium disturbance. You need some level of disturbance in your life

or else you actually don't propel forward. Oh. So you cannot be- I love that you think I'm still trying to go forward in my life. Honey, I am treading water like you wouldn't believe. Wait, I'm with you there. I'm barely surviving.

So we've been shipwrecked for a while. She doesn't know where she is. I don't know what's happening. She's barely here. When I said underwater, I was half kidding. Honestly, I wore this in the last episode and episode before, right? Oh my God, she stopped showering.

You look bad. No, you look, you're still the hot chick rescuer. Don't worry. Yeah, that's true. You can see it underneath. So what you do is you basically go, you put yourself through any type of like physical. Yeah, I'm also big like I really do go on a two-hour walk every day which is really crazy. I know that's a very Gen Z of you. I know. Hot Girl Walk. Two hour walk. Are you listening to something on the phone? I listen to either a Rachel Maddow podcast called Ultra, or I listen to up tempo music,

which has not evolved since the 2010s. What time is it? I'm a rest in development. My era is pretty much 80s, 90s, 2000s, but anything after 2020, I have no idea. Like the Super Bowl, you know, with Kendrick Lamar, I don't even know if I can name one song. I know that he does a feature on the Sia song, The Greatest, and I doubt that's his entire library of work. And I understand he's in an argument with Drake.

Oh, that's right. They're having an argument, a formal argument. Yes, an argument with Drake. And what I get from TikTok is that Kendrick won, but I don't know what he won. But I guess he won the argument. And that's all I really need to know. That's all I need to know. Yeah.

And he won album of the year at the Grammys. Or was it Beyonce? Or was it Cowboy Carter? It was Cowboy Carter. Wait, you mentioned Joan Rivers. What was your relationship with her? Oh, I loved her. We were good friends.

She played my mom on a sitcom. What? Yes, I mean, I just was in love with her. And she was my mentor and my buddy, and I miss her every day. Do you feel like you're sort of stepping into the... It's the best compliment I get. Every so often, if somebody makes that connection,

like, do you feel she's kind of passed the baton to you? It's the best compliment I get every so often if somebody makes that connection. Yeah. Do you feel she's kind of passed the baton to you? I wouldn't be presumptuous enough to say yes, but if I think about an incredibly high compliment, it would be the notion to even be put in the same category with Joan. And is that what you sort of how you see yourself like? When I was a kid, I think she was yes,, I saw Moms Maybelline and Todi Fields and Phyllis Diller, but I think seeing Joan take over The Tonight Show from a middle-aged white guy

was so fucking powerful. And every time she guest hosted was an event. And I remember my whole family laughing, even my dad, and thinking, wait a minute, she even won over my dad, who's like a straight guy, also a white guy. And so I was thinking, let's go. And then I foolishly thought that late night would then be taken over by women.

And it has not been since Joan that there has been a woman in the network daily late night spot. I think they keep trying, right? Like really saying. They keep acting like it's gonna change and it just yeah. But not at the Fallon hour. And not at the, they give the girl like the 1.30 in the morning or cable.

Yeah. But not since Joan has it been one of the like four big networks that they've committed like, you know. I wonder if. Misogyny, like that's it. And also it's the same guys. You guys, I have meetings with these old dinosaurs that I met with 30 fucking years ago. Like I walk into meetings nowadays and I go,

oh, you're still alive. Like, I can't believe these executives never go away and they're the same ones. And they have to be me too, out of the business like Leslie Moonves. And then the wife found Jesus. Now, every time I watch Big Brother at the end, when she goes, it's Julie Chen Moonves like that,

I'm like, okay, Jesus, get off the cross. But I would find Jesus too, if I was with Leslie Moonves. I would find him real fast, run into his loving arms. I could see Nikki Glaser like taking over for Kimmel or Fallon or something. I could see Nikki Glaser taking over for Kimmel or Fallon or something. I could see that. I thought she did a great job on the Globes. I love that they signed her up for next year.

Just a word of warning, that can be a thankless job. So remember, I love that she did well. And by the way, I also love Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. So hello, considering how many guys bombed at that job, three women nailed it. But it's a rough gig. Like people think, you know, hosting the Academy Awards or the Grammys, but you got a lot of pouty celebrities. And I just got to say, in one of the shows when they cut away to Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift, two of the wealthiest women in the world, and somebody made a joke about them and they just cut away to them going,

I just have to say as a comic and a Swifty and a Gomezinator or whatever they're called, scared of those armies. Anyway, I just don't care for that. I just feel like I know we're getting more sensitive as a society as we should. But if you're that big of a star and you're gorgeous and you're a billionaire and you've got products

and just take the fucking joke. Like that's why I like the Kardashians. They just take the joke on the chin and laugh all the way to the back. You know you're right about that, they really do. They really don't give a shit. Like, I've called them dirty whores for decades. And they're still nice and they invite me

and Chloe texted me on the way here. Like, they know how to do it, man. I'm telling you. We're sponsored by Skims, so we love them. Yes, of course. And Good American. And Good American. We love the Kardashian girls.

I do a thing about wearing a Good American shirt in my act that goes up my butt. And then Chloe sent me a funny text about it and I read it in the show. I know. So I love any celeb, whether they're a reality star or, you know, Glenn Close, I love any one of them has a good sense of humor. Yeah, someone that can take a show. And they're still hard to find. So I didn't like when the younger girls, Taylor and Selena were doing the eye roll. I'm like, ladies, ladies, you won. You won the game of life. No need for the eye rolls. The comic knows if no one's laughing, don't worry.

So just take the joke on the chin. Everything. Are we making plantains? Right after we're just hanging to them for emotional support. I brought my emotional support dog and then he tried to attack another dog. Did he really? Yeah. Well, he barked in a chihuahua way.

Well, they're not supposed to. His job is to not. But he just forgot and I got the jacket from Amazon and everything. I mean, I did it right. The certificates. I do. I have the certificate. I have a note from my shrink.

Oh my God. And my shrink note is so funny. It's like, to whom am I concerned? This woman, Kathy Griffin, who I've treated really needs her support dog with her at all times. She has four of them. Whether she has four or one, trust me. Let her pass through. Let the fucking dog in the restaurant. I don't want to hear about your rules and regulations and citations. This

chick is crazy. Give her the fucking dog. Now I'm paraphrasing. Okay, now can you see my nose running? Oh, yeah, I can when you ask. No, don't tell me you're hot and you have a secret nose run. That's my dream. I'm Jewish. My nose runs all the time, too. I'm scared that like. Is it religious?

No. Maybe I'm Jewish and I didn't know until today. I think you are. I could pass. Yeah. Are we kidding? You got it all. Thanks.

Wait, what happens? Oh, I need advice. What happens when your therapist is possibly also displaced from the fires and you've lost your therapist? Well, then you have to listen to their problems. They charge them the same thing they charge you. I don't know. I'll move them in. Were you Malibu or Altadena?

Altadena. So sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay. Where do you start? I don't know. Lead abatement? Lead abatement is where I'm at. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay. Where do you start? I know lead abatement lead abatement is where I'm at today

Okay. Yeah, they got a clean a place of lead high amounts of lead. Did I send you that text? Yeah, what did the rain make it worse? I'm not sure every sort of everyone's like 5050 on it, right? Okay, they're supposed to wetting the ground is supposed to help but I don't know. I don't I don't I watch these like Caltech Wait, oh, I love the Caltech lesbian. Wait, is that I don't know. I don't know anything. I watched these like Caltech. Wait. Oh, I love the Caltech lesbian. Wait, is that, I don't know the Caltech lesbian. Oh, she's a legend in LA. She's got the gray hair and the cargo shorts. Oh, her.

Yes, you know her. She's living the legend. I didn't realize she was a lesbian. I'm assuming. Sorry if I've made a leap in error. All right, put up a picture, bring her back. There she is, come on. I think that's her.

Although she's dialed up in that picture. I'm not gonna lie, but that's her. Wait, Kalyla. Oh yes. The earthquake lady. Wasn't she on like John Mulaney show, I think. I'm sure she is a freaking legend. You know she puts those boys in their place.

I can guarantee it. Oh, I love that. Oh, it does say lesbian right there. Lesbian Kate. How did I know? Yeah. In a million years, am I this intuitive? Kalyla, so why are they doing lead abatement? Like, cause then you could maybe get some of your stuff

or no? No, I think it's for, or I don't know. They just tested the home and what remains and they were like, this is high on lead and we'll see where we go from here. Okay, I have a controversial take. Okay. Okay, I-

We love lead. No, but I love Mayor Bass. Hear me out, hear me out. Beware of the recrusal. He is a MAGA Republican. Of course. He ran for mayor as a Democrat, but he changed his party affiliation a week before he ran.

And he's trying to make a black woman take the fall. She was elected to try to help with our homeless issue. She has been making progress. She's one person. And you know, climate change is why the fires happen. So I don't think blaming our mayor is the way to go, but just be careful because when I look at the palisades, you know, the drone footage of Rick Caruso

protecting his mall, the Air One, and everything around it is war zone. And I'm like, no, please don't vote for this guy. So he's probably gonna run for governor. I don't know. But just beware of the Rick Caruso. He's a mall magnet. Yeah, he is. Americ don't know. But just beware of the recurso. He's a mall magnate. He is, Americana is a curso, right?

And the Groove. So people vote for him because they think, like Trump, oh, he's a good businessman. No, he's a rich guy. But he's not gonna want any regulations for the rebuild. And regulations are your friend, people. Listen to me. Regulations are a good thing.

They keep you safe. It's about zoning. It's about fire protections, as much as we can do. So they will build a condo, Minions like on apartments on the freeway. Like out of cardboard. Like that's what I'm saying is just, he is going to be the first one to dive in there

and do stuff probably not up to code. It's so easy. It's going to be like, oh, I will say this. Be that in hand. I will say this. Being that. Banana in hand. I will say this. I'm not anti Karen Bass at all. And by the way, there was no looting,

like Fox News is like, there's gonna be riots in the streets. No. Implying that Altadena was. Yeah, because it's. Lent itself more. A brown black neighborhood. And thank you for saying it out loud, but I'm just saying that was very much a Fox News talking point.

Because I think that a lot of people were texting me too, like, watch out for your home being looted. And honestly, like, there isn't a single person that I know or a neighbor of mine that has been looted. And in fact, when they were like, oh, there are people biking around taking pictures of homes. No, those are the people, like, kind of checking up on their homes.

And I, I don't know. It's, it's fucked up. Have you been led in to look at it? Yeah. Oh no. Yeah. How'd you take it? No, my, the neighborhood, honestly, it's devastating.

Did you burst into tears? It's, it's, it's so devastating. Like I can't even put it into words. It's more a shock. Yeah. Because Altadena's are picturesque. Yeah. We have the mountains, you have the trees, you have Eaton Canyon.

There's waterfalls there. It's beautiful there. Altadena is so picturesque. And to see it just in, it's just ashes is- I live in Malibu and I haven't had the nerve to drive down PCH the couple days it's been open. I've been looking at the drone shots. I know I'm just going to sob.

Yeah, terrible. Yeah, I know. but it's climate change folks It's not UFOs You guys can't believe we guys even have to say that Okay, how about clones? What about them? Uh, nothing except they're not real. What's with your friend? Thought we were cool. Now. She's thinks I'm a clone. I'm a clone of Reba McIntyre I literally haven't even heard about clones since the sheep incident of the 90s. No, no, there's a whole TikTok thing where people think Jamie Foxx is cloned.

And then, by the way, I'm very deep into the Diddy stuff, but on TikTok. So I'm just getting some information and then a lot of probably conspiracy theories. You're still on the Diddy? Is there still more to dig? Look, I, you know, the word on the street is that Jay-Z is next, but I don't know if the Beyonce mafia would allow that to happen. I saw him at the Grammys. They look just fine.

I know he looked very comfortable, but he just dropped a claim this week against the minor that is suing him for rape because she described the house and they said, did he never had a house like that? Well, guess what? He did. And they found it. So he had to drop three of his claims against the attorney, this guy named Tony Busby. And so it's, it's not looking great for him at this moment. And let's remember, it was a different time, you guys. Like in the 90s, there was an actual reality show about how to be a video hoe. And I believe it was called, like how to be a video hoe. And it was the 90s, they had these girls that would show up,

nobody checked IDs and they were in lingerie. And it was like almost a prestigious thing to be like in the background. And then you either get essayed or you're expected to blow these guys. And it was like a thing. And it was with allegedly, you know, the boy bands as well. Not Lance Bass, of course. Not Lance Bass. He's the exception to everything.

He's safe. He's totally safe. He's our angel from gay heaven. I love that he wanted to buy the Brady Bunch house. He did? Yeah. He like, he almost got it and then the renovation show came in and took it from out of his hands. But it was a bidding war.

Yeah, the fact that he was like that cool. As if he couldn't renovate it with his gay self anyway. It would take him a week. You should call him to redo your house. Or my face. He'll have your face, your house, whatever it needs. And Bats, we're calling upon you to rebuild Altadena. Please do it.

And also there's something delicious about him now being the best looking one in the group. Like he's in the best physical shape. He just looks great. Well, I mean, come on, we know why. Exactly. And it's gotta kill Justin. It's not, because Justin's got like a dad bod now

and he's dancing in sneakers and look at Lance, Lance gets hotter. Lance is getting cuter. He's so cute. He is hotter. I love him. Do you know I spent every Thanksgiving in his house still. What? Since the 90s.

I know, I've known him since he was straight. Cute boy. That's how long I've known him. I love him so much and his husband, Michael, and they have twins. You have the best group of friends. I have such a good group of friends. Like you're a cool girl.

Oh, stop. Well, you know, I have these dinner and lunch salons. You guys have to come to one. Are we invited? Yeah. I would die. It's 12 people and I cast it like a play. Yeah, it's people that you wouldn't normally necessarily meet in life. So I make everybody go around the room and give their name and Bonafides

because I go because there's usually like a couple celebs, but it's not all celebs at all. And you have somebody that's a top notch lawyer, First Amendment lawyer, which I have many of sitting next to, you know, Sia and then I'll make Sia sing. So I always make Sia sing and God love her. She does an acapella and she blows it out of the water and then I had a Christmas one and Jennifer Lewis came from Black-ish she plays the aunt on Black-ish and she and Sia were duetting and they've never met and that was a love story. This is your dream Sia.

I know and then the last one I had it was more of a politically focused one and Lisa Rinna came with Harry Hamlin and that was epic. I heard it. Well, you know I'm a housewife. Okay, now let me just say this. I've known Lisa for decades. She's, okay, the girl that she was on that show her last season is really not the Lisa that I know.

So I'm not one to say, you know, I should hold my banana. I'm not one to say, oh, it's the editors because coming from reality myself, it's really not the editing. But I really think- You don't believe it's the editing? On my show, it wasn't. But remember, my show is from 2006.

And so I'm just saying she is a sweetheart. She's a ride or die. She seems fun. She's super cool. Harry is a dream. He went to Yale. He's so smart. He can talk about anything. He's still so hot. Okay, so get this. I don't know if you're a man. Are you guys housewives at all? I am. I wish there was an episode of Beverly Hills where Lisa took a glass and was so pissed at Kim Richard. She freaking broke it and was going to twist it in her neck, which is my kind of bitch. And so she kept saying because there was a rumor about Harry. I've never heard a single rumor about Harry in my life.

And he's been around forever. Not one thing. So they're at dinner and I go, so what was the rumor that pissed you off so much? And she's like, first of all, I blacked out in that moment. I was about to kill someone. And then I go, what was the rumor? I go, Harry, what was the rumor? And there's this pause and he's such like a quiet, spoken intellectual guy. And he goes, they said I fucked a dog.

And you guys, I lost it laughing. And I went, what? I go, that's what you were going to fight over? Somebody said Harry fucked a dog. And then I go, well, who didn't? No. But I just thought that was the funniest thing of all the rumors. somebody said Harry fucked a dog and then I go, well, who didn't? No. I just thought that was the funniest thing of all the rumors. Like, how did even one person be like, Hmm, that is possible.

Like I thought the rumor was just that he was having an affair with somebody, maybe an affair with like someone on the show. Like I thought, Oh my God. And when he goes, they said, I fucked a dog. I said, Harry, if anyone says that about you, you have to just let it ride and just go with it, because that shit is funny. As somebody who has been accused of sexual relations with dogs, I know how I now understand Lisa Rinna. So maybe the rescue people came after her.

That's exactly the bane of my existence because I once told a story about how when I was a child, I was five, six years old, I had a much older cousin basically tell me that... You should set puppies on fire. Because that's extreme, I think. So my dog was like humping one of us and he was like, oh, telling a five, six year old this to make him feel better, six year old this, to make him feel better, you should do this. And like basically touch the dog.

And I was a child, and basically I told that story. Well you're not the inappropriate one in that scenario. It's the freaking cousin. I feel like I was essayed. And that dude's a freak. That dude's always been a freak from the day he was born and that dude is still a freak. Yes, I feel like I was essayed.

I told this story and literally, my comments are always like, you still fucking dogs? I was essayed. I told a story and literally My comments are always like you still fucking dogs. I mean still you still jerking off dogs and I'm like, oh my god Oh my god, and imagine the rescue people seeing that in my comment section They're like we're not gonna give her this foster. Of course not because that rumor is so credible Oh my god, very good is not a dog fucker, stop it. Everyone stop it. I love that she went so hard. She went so hard and she said,

it was like being in the matrix and that she realized she could kill someone. Like she realized at that moment, like I could take someone's life. And then she was like, but I'm gonna go to prison forever and never see my husband and kids again. And I was like, that was a lot of thinking for just one glass break. And then, but so I thought that was just the funniest thing. Kathy, where are you at with your love life?

Okay, you ready? Okay, this is, I'm really going to come off like an asshole, really like an asshole. So get ready. I can't imagine a man out there that would be good enough for me. Hold on, hear me out. Hear me out, hear me out. You are not alone. Not an asshole either. I realize I've really been with gold diggers.

Like I really have, I'm so used to the one working hard, making the money, that I'm just used to broke guys. And I just thought for once, like what are the chances of me meeting a guy who does the shit I do, owns their own house outright, has four dogs, flies private, works all the time, has a whole career that is something they're proud of and have whatever recognition and has been through a lot of stuff and is an empath and I just thought have you seen 64 year old straight guys? It's not too good. They all

have Bell's palsy. They just don't know it and so you know I have a banging body, I work out two hours a day. Come on. And so what are the chances that I'm going to like go on Raya? What am I going to do? Fuck David Spade? I mean, when I saw his picture on Raya, I almost called him and I was like, David, you are hanging out with Kid Rock way too much. We love you, David. I love David Spade.

He's one of the funniest people I've ever hung out with. Like if you're going to go to dinner with someone fucking hilarious, go with David Spade. He is so fucking naturally funny. But when I saw his picture on Raya, and he looks cute, he's all... I did see his profile on Raya. Isn't it weird to see someone famous on?

Cause I don't know the apps. So I went on once, and of course one of my girlfriend's accounts. So I was just like, let's see these guys. And they were tragic. And then I saw David and I just stopped right there. I couldn't top that. I couldn't top that.

It's very Gen Z of you though, because that is how all the girlies are feeling. They're like, there's no guys out there that are good enough for me. And I get lonely. I don't mean to be like, I'm dating myself. No, I get lonely and I wish, like I actually liked the institution of marriage.

Like I liked waking up with him every day and going to bed with him every night and doing stuff together and just watching TV together and dumb stuff. And so I like, I feel like I'm actually a couple of persons stuck in a single person's life. But on the other hand, I don't want another beat down. Like I just can't handle another like heartache.

I will say that there is hope because I found me the sweetest, kindest, most delicious normie. Oh, also hot chick. So like not fair. Well, also, thank God for the Bell's policy. That's all she has going for her. In LA hot chick, but 40 is, you know. It's like 75 in my dollar.

Right, right. So, um, and coming off of a bad breakup, I was like, oh, okay, I'll be fine on my own. And I met this just amazing, wonderful, kind human being. And so I don't think if out of saying how she met him out of LA, oh, I met him diving. Did you ship him in? Yeah, in a box. That's what I think I'd have to do. I think I would Did you ship him in? Yeah. Yeah. In a box.

That's what I think I'd have to do. I think I would have to ship in a foreign body. I think so. Yeah. And then train him. Like my dogs. With the jacket on. Service human.

But I just, I, I just can't pick up another tab. Like I can't pay another guy's bills. I can't be with another guy who hasn't paid an electric bill in 10 years. Like, I just... I can't do it. Well, yours was extreme. Like, there was thievery. Well, the first one stole from me. Yeah, that's insane. I know. And so, I just am trying...

Okay, I also sleep in bed every night with all four dogs, which I know is a cock walk. I have no cocks to block at the moment. So I have to if I have to start blocking out cocks, then I'll make them sleep on their dog beds. But for now, it is the most loving. It's my favorite, my favorite part of the day. I know that's depression talking. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, No, no, no. That's our dream. And all four of the babies are in with me, the four babies. That's the best. The best. And they make their little doggy sounds and they do a little circles to try to make their beds cozy. Yeah. And they have their little personality. And then sometimes I'll wake up and one just look at me like this.

And then it was just start to kiss me like, come on. We can cut this if we need to. But I there's something going on on TikTok right now. And then it was just start to kiss me like, come on. We can cut this if we need to, but I, there's something going on on TikTok right now. And it's that Candace Owens is like somehow becoming popular. Thank you. Thank you.

Cause I was at a friend's house yesterday and she put her on YouTube and it was about the topic. And then I go, that's Candace Owens. And she was like, oh yeah, we don't like her, but she'll get to the topic. And I don't even know, remember what the topic was. Well, she's been talking, going deep dives into the Justin Baldoni, Blake Lively drama.

Yeah, I don't, why would I, she's supposedly a political pundit. Why would I care about her opinion on that? She is like, cosplaying as like, I'm a stay at home mom researching this. No, no, she's a MAGA psycho. Yeah. And she's stupid.

And she wore, you know, White Lives Matter t-shirt with Kanye. Oh. And they're besties. But she went to war with Ben Shapiro. And I think that's sort of the beginning of when, cause Ben Shapiro so hated. But that's the Ann Coulter game.

Like Ann Coulter has been doing that game for years. And then they always make up. And ultimately they vote Trump and they vote MAGA no matter what. So remember, unlike our team, where we split over every issue and we split, split, split, they stick together no matter what.

So I'll bet she and Ben Shapiro will be doing a tour soon or something. That's so funny. Something. I mean, yeah, it is scary and it is dangerous. There's like this pipeline of like her spilling celebrity drama that's like, I'm scared then that people will like start to trust her.

Right. And then believe her political shit. Because she says nonsense all the time. And she's mean. Like she's just, she's like a bully. So she's like a Bill O'Reilly or like Sean Hannity, where, you know, she just kind of tries to bully people. And I think she loves the engagement. So I try to never engage with her.

Although half the people that I've had major fights with are now in the cabinet. Like for real in the cabinet, like buffoons, like Rick Grinnell was the DNI. And I've been in many a Twitter fight with him and Dershowitz who's literally an Ep DNI. And I've been in many, a Twitter fight with him and Dershowitz who's literally an Epstein guy. And then I went to Harvard last week cause I got an award and I was like, where's the Dershowitz rape room? And they're like, oh, awkward.

Even the college kids were like, ah, this lady's scary. But I was like, I'm here, where's my award? They couldn't backtrack. I didn't even go to college, you guys. I'm like a dumb ass. I don't even know state capitals. But college is, is college still, I mean, it's like- It's a thing, but the debt has got to change. And that's another reason I'm pissed that Harris lost is she would have really let Elizabeth Warren and AOC spearhead a thing about actual college debt forgiveness and kiss that goodbye

for the next four years or 40. I still have college debt. Of course, everybody does. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40.

I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. I'm 40. see spearhead a thing about actual college debt forgiveness and kiss that goodbye for

the next four years or 40. I still have college debt. Of course everybody does. It's terrible. It is a terrible Ponzi scheme and your legislators that have been trying to change it are all losing. So Cory Booker, Liz Warren, like all of the good soldiers are, we just keep losing elections. The fact that we lost the trifecta,

the house and the Senate and the presidency, I know. AOC for president. Yes. Do we have a chance? No, because people are too misogynistic and they're especially her. She's so much, she's so superior to those guys that hate her. I mean, she's really got haters.

Do you think we'll have a female president like in your lifetime? I don't know anymore because I really, she's really got haters. Do you think we'll have a female president, like, in your lifetime? I don't know anymore, because I really, really was dumb enough to think Harris was gonna win. I was, too. I really thought she's got this, she's the not-one-scandal, squeaky clean, hello, trained better than anyone in the country to become the president. We have a history of voting our vice presidents into the presidency. But I just, I've been doing sneaky surveys of my seven straights and I found out, you ready? None of them voted for her. These are guys that are all my buddies. What did they say? They said they didn't vote for Trump, but they

just couldn't vote for anybody. And one guy wrote in a guy from his office that he thought would be better. And he's like laughing and I'm like, um, we're in the handmaid's tail because of you fucker. Like you voted for Trump. If you didn't vote, you voted for Trump. And I'm like crushed because I haven't talked to any of them since then, since I've done my survey question and I know we're all allowed to vote them since then, since I've done my survey question. And I know we're all allowed to vote how we want. And I'm a libtard. That's what they call me.

And the whole thing. But like, what is it about her besides her vagina that you really have a problem with? And they just say keep saying the same Hillary shit. She seems like a know it all. There's just something off putting about her. I don't know. She seems like a know-it-all. There's just something off-putting about her. I don't know. She seems superior in a way. I can't really relate to her. Just say it's sexism. Just say you're a misogynist. Just say I'm a misogynist and that's where I am today.

All I'm hearing is that our first female president should be Tara Reid because she's none of those things. She would check every box. The straight men would show up. That's right. That's right. Because everyone loved that movie, American Pie. It really did.

The whole franchise was popular. I know. Did I bring everybody down? No. No, no, no, no, no. Bringing you back up. No, no, no. Bringing you back up.

We're good. Okay. Okay, can we just talk about Kanye's wife for a second? Bianca. Bianca Sens Bianca. Sweet Bianca. Who is my new Brittany. I want a conservatorship that I'm in charge of with her. I want to bring her family into the fold from Australia.

From Australia. She's got a degree. In architecture. Yeah. From University of Melbourne. And I can't imagine that she's in on it or it's a kink or all this shit the guys are saying to justify it. She's getting nothing from it. See, when Kim used to do those stunts, Kim would then sell the dress. Like if that was Kim, she would have worn a really naughty dress and then it would be on sale the next day at Skims. So this girl is just like his slave. And I just, how could he not be physically abusive

if he could get her to do that? And then he said in an interview yesterday, which he produced through his own company, that he's gonna rent her out by the hour. What? Did he say that? Yeah. Oh, sweet Bianca, come back. I know.

What do you think, do you think this is all still about Kim? Because she's so similar to Kim. Yes, she looks so much the body is insane. Is that what this is, is this? I think so. Yeah. I think he was obsessed with Kim prior to being with her

and then treated her horribly and then will be obsessed with her. And I think he will torture her the rest of her life. I think it was also Donda, his mom. I think that fucked him up. And then it became all the rest of her life. I think it was also Donda, his mom. I think that fucked him up. And then it became all the rest of it. But people lose... Totally, I'm not excusing it at all,

but he really went down after she died. Today the man tweeted, Hitler is so fresh. That's crazy. That was one, and then there were like a ton more that were super anti-Semitic. Then it was him saying, yes, I'm an anti-Semite and I'm thrilled to be, like, tripling down

and, you know, the same old crap. But I'm sure he just doesn't want to take the cocktail that would make him not douchey like that. Well, someone shoot him with a booty juice. Yep. What's the booty juice? I'll shoot him right in the butt. Like with a, um, like a blow dart.

Like a blow dart. Yeah. I'm sure Kim's thought about that a couple times. If she hasn't, never mind. And he said he's gonna make the daughter into a bigger star than he is. And I was like, she's a child. Please don't say that. Because now I think he probably will. She's just a little kid.

Right. I mean, I don't even know if she's in high school yet. I know. I don think he probably will. She's just a little kid. Right. I mean, I don't even know if she's in high school yet. I know. I don't think she is. She's not. Yeah. I have a question. Going back to Kim Kardashian, I don't think she's, I think she's in the same position.

I don't know who she dates because she's so powerful at this point. Agree. And she's got four kids by Kanye West. Right. So like, you gotta be a lot of man. Yeah. And very secure.

And it wasn't Pete Davidson. Who's missing by the way? Is he still in the... Oh yeah, we haven't heard from him. Right? I feel like he was making public appearances recently talking about his mom. Those boys will all carry him. You know what I mean?

Those guys have got him in a way we never fucking do. We just let our fucking people suffer. I feel like you and Kim should have, you both go on the search for a man together. Yeah, I'd agree. You guys both, like, you have the same kind of requirements. Same, and there's also no one who's good enough for us. Yeah.

And although Kim is a big recruso guy, and so we're not politically aligned at the moment, and she's also rolling with Ivanka, which I don't care for. But I don't know that Kim is even like knows what political parties are like I don't think if you said what is the ethos of the Democratic Party or the Republican Party? I don't think she could answer that question. I think she just goes where dollar signs are but I didn't know Bezos Was a kiss the ring guy. I guess I was just, I missed that memo. I missed it too.

I know, I knew about president Elon, who of course I'm also in a beef with. I know, I know. I know. Yeah, that. And I can't wait to run into him. And I will. Someday I'll run into him. And same with Trump.

Someday I'll run into him again. It's funny because he like, his claim to fame was like PayPal and then everything you read about it, it's like people are like, no, he kind of almost ruined PayPal. He really is. I don't know. He's just, he's not a genius. I'm not buying the he's a genius thing. He doesn't have a skill set.

He bought a company. He did well. He's in with the other bros. Those trucks are so embarrassing. It's like a used refrigerator. It looks like a refrigerator on its side with wheels and the light bar is embarrassing because it's like a bad Jedi light bar and every time I see one it's just a douche mobile and I can't like, okay, what if you guys are suggesting maybe I date or be open to dating?

What happens when he rolls up in a cyber truck? Oh yeah, that's a that's dead and gone. You guys we can't but those can we make a pack, please. To never get in one. Do you notice that this site, they all kind of have cyber truck bodies like someone on on a tick tock said, like, Elon Musk has an autopsy body. They all kind of have that like puffy upper torso. But like weird, they're trying to make gains, but the HGH or the T or something that the concoction is not working. They all look like thumbs. More ketamine, Elan. More ketamine. Something. There's like

a puffiness about it where it's like, oh, thank God that. Well, of course that shirtless picture of him did him no favors. I know. Doused with water by Larry David and Ari Emanuel. I mean, it's, you can't write it., yeah, I've looked at that picture and that's who else is in it. Larry David and Ari Emanuel and Elon went on vacation together. Well, you know what? We all know. That's a bummer. We all know there's one thing that Elon wants and he'll never have it. And it's something that you have to be funny. Oh, I know. That is true.

He wants it so bad. He does. When Chappelle brought him on stage, it was so embarrassing. He really wants to be funny. And some people, I don't say this often, I think people can become funny very often. But he is proven. It's not there. Time and time again. He cannot find it.

He cannot find it. No. And he wouldn't know how to make fun of himself, which would be the easiest thing for him to do. Like that would be, people would be probably extra forgiving if he was trying to be funny about himself. But he wouldn't know how to make fun of himself, which would be the easiest thing for him to do. Like that would be, people would be probably extra forgiving if he was trying to be funny about himself. But he doesn't. That's probably actually what is in the mixture

that doesn't make him funny is he takes himself too seriously and then you can't get over that. Also being a Nazi. Oh, that's true. I mean, when you're doing the Hitler salute, you know. Twice, not once. They don't teach that at the groundlings. No, they don't, not at any level. Oh my gosh, Cathy, this is all, you know. Twice, not once. They don't teach that at the groundlings. No, they don't, not at any level.

Oh my gosh, Kathy, this is, as always. It's like we're just friends getting together. I know, this is so fun. Please invite us to your 12 person dinner. Do I have your personal info? No, I don't think so. We're exchanging it now. And everyone has to go see you on your tour.

Go to kathygriffin.com, follow me on all the social media platforms, accept X. I also just found out that my life on the D-list is on Peacock. It's on Peacock. I'm so glad people are rediscovering my mom and dad who are legends, were legends. I am going to be doing a rewatch this week. I just found that out. Kathy, thank you so much for being here.

We love you and Sluggies. I don't know how to add contact. I'll do it. I'm way too famous to know how to do that, but you will. I will, yeah. Sluggies, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Thank you ladies, I love you ladies.