Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - LESLIE LIAO & KAT BIRD All Out In Vegas
Episode Date: September 23, 2025BTS, BONUS CONTENT AND MORE! Only on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast Welcome to FALL babyyy. Dust off those flannels, get your UGGs on, and double-fist your pumpkin ...spiced matchas; Kat Bird and Leslie Liao are cozying up with us for peak autumn chaos! We’re talking t*ts, Vegas, and the undeniable fact that it’s officially Leonardo DiCaprio Autumn. Plus, a fall-themed spelling bee where “chrysanthemum” humbles us all. Strap in. We’re dancing on tables at Hakkasan. Happy Fall Sluggies! Thank you to out sponsors: Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at www.monarchmoney.com/trashtuesday Visit www.HomeChef.com/TRASHTUESDAY for FIFTY PERCENT OFF your first box and free dessert for life! *Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com *Visit Ebb Ocean Club & Holiday Shop* https://www.ebboceanclub.com/ for Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products! FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/ MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A PRODUCTION:Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Arielle Jade (Editor): https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ Elisa Hernandez Kohler: https://www.instagram.com/ellie.lianna/ Megan Clements: https://www.instagram.com/egggymeg/
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You know, when I was doing the Ratchet era, we didn't pay for
anything we got a promote we got a promoter room at a like oh even your room or what's it
called circuses that's not the flex you think it it was so much fun anyway we got really
drug circus I see what you're saying when people like your shows have no teeth
promoters are giving girls free circus circuses I don't know who's so excited
even if you were to pay for a circus I'm sure it's like $80 a night I'm sure you guys
They're like, just stay here.
We got comp at the Excalibur.
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So thank you.
Thank you, thank you to our golden slug, Brandon.
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I am so excited because I am officially going on tour and it is starting so soon we're right around the corner.
first September 12th and 13, I'm going to be in Madison, Wisconsin for the first time ever
I had to reschedule last time and was never able to do it. I cannot wait. These shows are going to be
so much fun, Madison, Wisconsin, and then next I'll be in Portland at the Aladdin Theater. I'm
going to be in Seattle, the Neptune, Olympia, Washington, Philly, New York City, Boston. I'm hitting
all the best cities this leg of this tour. So please get tickets. Come see me. It's going to be so much
fun. We'll hang. I have all this new material
that I've been working on. I can't wait to share it.
And you can get tickets at
Pretty Little Baby Tour.com
or at the link below. I cannot
wait to see you guys.
Wait, Kylie, do you even know
Leslie? Of course. What the hell?
Yeah. How do you guys know each other?
We've done Tiger Belly. I did Tiger Belly a while
ago. And Cat does Tiger Belly. I know that.
I'm so jealous. Also, there are a few
Asians that don't know each other.
Right? There must be. We should
should fix that. I'm so jealous of that. You should have them all together on the podcast and like surprise them.
I think we're all aware of each other is what I'm saying. Of each other would be shocking. Like at this
point I feel like I know all the same all the heavy hitters. Me too. Which I'm like honor to know
them. If you're not a heavy hitter. Oh yeah. In my mind it's like Fumi Abe is a heavy hitter.
Yeah. I like Fumie. Yeah. I like Fumie. Yeah. Love Fumi. He's such a cute. Maybe a couple months ago
there was a picture that I think Fumi posted and it said like Asian Mafia or something or I think it said
something and it had like it had you and Irene and like all that I was like that'd be so cool to
be a part of that group it's a good group I got like serious like I wish I was Asian in that moment
I have that all the time I wish I was really I get that I really do I yeah yeah I see I understand
if people want to be Asian yeah it's fun Kalila who do we have today today we have two
incredibly funny comedians you've seen them everywhere you've seen them on my other podcast
Tiger Belly. We have
Leslie Liao and
Cat Bird. Hello.
So nice to be here. Your Instagram
handle fucks me up because in my
head now I keep thinking your name is Resri.
Thank you for saying it because
people aren't brave enough to say my
IG handle, I had it before I started
stand up, is Resri Real.
So it's just like the Lulu Lemon way
to say my name. And every
time I go on like a, you know,
there's like these funny middle age white guys
who host these radio stations. They're like, please don't
make me say your handle.
Like, they just refuse to say res re-real.
I know a lot of white people that would love to say that.
Just like, so many people are like, I'm doing it.
Like, that's how I say it.
You're like, no, it's Leslie.
They're like, no, it's not.
Do you guys think there's any possible way that it's true that Lulu Lemon is named that
because they, it's anti-Asian?
I believe it.
I thought it was, I could believe that.
I thought that was the truth.
Yeah, the lore I heard behind it was the guy who made it was like, oh, it'd be funny
if Asians had to say Ruru Ruman every day.
That's what I heard.
I hear that.
Lulu Lemon gives you
vagina cancer
What?
Can I tell you
something?
Why is it being
cancerous
because of the
it's like
plastic material?
Yeah,
it's just in your
vagina.
Like it's just like
stuck up in there
I guess
and it's just not
that's my theory.
I love spreading
misinformation.
I want us to really go for it.
Lou Lemon causes cancer.
I heard from one guy.
I heard from one man.
We saw one IG post
of like a graphic
with no evidence.
It's just like an
it's like an AI photo.
And it just says, like, Lulu Lemon equals vagina cancer.
And now we're spreading it.
I fall for those all day long.
All day, yeah.
I take them as truth.
Heaven.
Do you guys get, like, targeted ads that are kind of disturbing?
Like, what?
You go first.
Sometimes I get targeted ads that are like, are you coming out of prison?
Like, a lot of them think I have, like, a criminal record and I'm, like, coming out of, and, like, needs support.
What's the ad for?
It's for, like, employment?
Oh, employment, not to lawyer up.
Oh, oh, a job.
You're getting ads for employment, for jobs.
And I've looked at the jobs and it's all like babysitting and stuff.
So I don't know.
Oh, they take ex-felons.
Oh, you've gone as so far to apply for one of these jobs.
I'm just curious.
So you're really, she's like, she has an interview after this.
You're like really going for it.
No, we're getting ads for like leggings and shit.
You're like getting ads to like work with children.
Bell and I'm pretty shocked to see her that's what you're getting.
Yeah, I don't know what that's all about.
Oh, cat.
I'm sorry.
I mean, you do. You know what? And I say this really sweetly. You do look like you could fuck shit up. Like you are like a very soft and sweet, but ex-prisoner vibes. Like you ran that shit in there quietly. Thank you. Kind of like a house of cards or something like that. Yeah. I think so. I think like white collar crime.
Yeah, I think you have to be smarter for white collar crime. Not necessarily. They've got all the big words in the white collar. It's like larceny and stuff. Oh, is that white collar? What is larceny?
Laundering money laundering see you could be white collar crime person oh thank you yeah I'm more like blue collar. I think I could be like
Stabbing yeah yeah yeah I spick I spik yeah oh you'd be like one of my minions yeah yeah I'd be like CEO level totally oh I would love that I could work from home yeah yeah yeah yeah I'd do admin yeah yeah yeah yeah I think you're all white collar we already know that me yeah yeah yeah there's not stabbing in your body yeah I don't have that I think it's got to be it coming
from up here yeah there's a mind yeah make a phone call yeah but you too girl just a look I'm I think
I'm both I am you know I'm a switch hitter what can I say awesome yeah I think I can you know
be pretty physical and murderous but I can also think with my head do you guys know who has
been all over my TikTok algorithm which it's like I can't believe this is happening I'm just
swooning I'm swaying Leonardo DiCaprio is doing press for his new movie you know
how we never see this man speak.
We never see him in interviews.
He is doing every interview on the red carpet
talking about his new Paul Tom's Anderson movie.
He is so charming and smart and like cool.
This is your hot take.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Because we've been hating on him away.
We know we've thrown him away.
You're right.
You're right.
And you forget that like, sure he's a great actor,
that's one thing.
But like when you just see this guy talking
and he's talking about like
the business and he's just
I'm like dying
I don't care
throw me away
please don't do this to me
you cannot reignite my love for him
because it hurt
that flame burned
for long inside me
was it his just his dating thing
yeah the headphones
I think so the headphones thing
really took me out of it
I don't know about the headphones thing
the lore is that like he wears
headphones when he has
sexual
I did not know this
a lot of NDA's side name
he wears headphones like
to listen
listen to this podcast.
A podcast. Yeah.
This is a podcast Tuesday.
Well, like Fox models.
It's pretty cool.
Or noise cancelling.
Imagine.
That would be.
A brown noise, I think.
Just like.
Oh, I love.
I'm a brown noise.
I'm a brown noise.
Really?
Oh my God.
Yes.
What's brown noise?
So you're like white noise.
Yeah.
It's very shrieky.
Yeah.
So some people, if you're working or you need some,
people listen to music, sometimes I'll do like jazz in the background.
But then white noise is a very like soft comforting.
is background noise.
Yeah.
There's different colors.
There's green noise for focus.
There's pink noise for sleep.
Oh,
which I do for sleep.
It's all on Spotify.
Yeah,
yeah,
I haven't done pink.
And then brown noise I do in the morning
because I don't want like dead silence,
but I don't want to listen to like,
like Hamas news and whatever.
Like right when I wake up.
Yeah.
So brown noise is just something to start.
So you,
wait,
you listen to the Hamas News Network?
Yes, big fans.
Brown noise or Hamas News.
But it's like if you play the new,
which I want to,
I do the five-minute news just to start the day to be like,
okay, I generally know what's happening and then I can go do a podcast.
Oh, gosh, that's hard.
But then I also feel like I can't do a funny podcast first thing when I wake up
because then I don't feel awesome.
So it's a transition.
Brown noise to start.
Wow, I feel like you really have your life together based on the house.
Is that the impression?
You have the news.
Do you have a TV in your home?
I do, but all I do is I go to YouTube and I search coffee shop vibes.
And then I play like a 12-hour video of like,
like an anime coffee shop with like a cartoon cat sitting next to a croissant.
I get that. That's sweet. I like those. Yeah. So as I'm working, it's like it gives me the vibe
of I'm in a coffee shop. I like that. I'm just very strategic with my sounds and, um,
that's smart. But you're somebody that can have background noise. I think that, um,
if I really need to get something done, I need pressure. I need to be sweating and I need absolute silence.
It's like it's game time. You're probably, you're turning in your homework late and it's like no time to
play. If I hear a song, then I'm singing with that song and it takes me out of it.
So this is why you could do blue collar crime. I feel like you're in it. Yeah. In a way that's
seeking excellence. Yes. And no sound can interfere with my path to excellence. I feel that. You
need to like dead silence to concentrate. Yeah, because I'm a procrastinator. I'm not someone that,
you know, works two weeks ahead of time to, you know, like do you? Do those people make you mad?
They make me sad about myself. Yeah, they make me sad so I get mad at them. It's really.
weird that you guys think we're done talking about
Leo. Oh, yeah. I'm so
sorry. I'm so sorry.
Did I mention that he's charming?
Did I mention that his teeth
are cute? Did he never fix his teeth?
They're just like weird and it's good.
I love okay. You're really, really
selling me. You don't even know what
I've seen. So did you not, like when
he spoke about the environment, remember
he had that whole docute? I was going to say.
Like did that not titillate you? No, because
you was like so formal and it was
like really serious. And this, he's just
like he's like in a good mood talking to the interviewers you can tell he really is promoting this
movie like he must really love this pta movie like why this movie like why is it this movie
i think because it's paul thomas anderson it's going to be like a huge movie and i think the real
kicker is that it'll be in theaters and like people know how important it is to sell to get butts
and seats and he's doing the dance and i i respect it i respect my man the thing is like i don't you know
He dates the younger women.
Like us.
I think you would.
Well, like you.
I mean, I'm out of his bracket.
I'm way out of his bracket.
But you never know.
Like for like, that's positive though.
Like, yes, yes, that's fine.
I'm not trying to be in his bracket.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
That to just be friends with him.
That's fine.
Is that your goal?
Yeah.
We can just be friends.
Friends and Leo.
Gosh, I'm so angry that I might like him again.
Oh, you're far.
It took so long to extinguish that flame.
He's a banger actor.
It's like, what am.
Am I supposed to?
The departed?
He's the hottest.
Honestly, fuck Jack from Titanic and the departed is where he's the hottest guy ever.
Yeah.
Awesome.
Wait, okay, so I saw this study and I want to know what you guys think.
Basically, it said that, like, if one of your girlfriends tells you to cut your hair short,
it could be a sign that she's like competitive and is trying to sabotage you.
My mom always was telling me to cut my hair short.
Was this an IG meme you saw?
Or did you read an article?
I will not be elaborating on the study at this time.
Of course, a man in a man on a lot.
The study, a.
A.k.a. a YouTube reel.
Yes.
So I read a study.
My mom always wanted to have my hair cut short.
Well, that's probably because you didn't want to have to deal with cleaning it.
Okay.
Well, now I'm thinking otherwise.
Maybe my mom was competitive with me.
It must be a good sign that I've never had girlfriends say cut your hair.
It's a good sign that you're always been like.
sign that you're ugly it's a good sign that they're basic they've only been like hey it's time for a trim or whatever yeah but never like hey go short or try this yeah yeah yeah i don't believe it oh my god in high school oh we can bleep her name out the fucking this fucking bitch she told my friend oh my gosh these names like hey had lashes like this like this and she goes you know if you cut them no that they'll grow double inside
I'm going to be sick.
No, she should be in jail.
She cut them.
She cut them.
Also not the smartest on her part, though.
But you know, at this time, I think that she was just one of those like fawning kind
of girls.
Like the hot girl.
Like a Regina George type of thing where like you just listen to her.
But then I had the bigger tits and ass.
And she was a little thicker.
So the boys always like maybe gave her a little bit more attention.
And so, yeah, she cut her lashes.
And what happened to the lashes?
I don't think they grew back.
I don't know, actually.
I don't know.
There's no way.
I think God like you shed your lashes, so new ones grow.
But like for weeks, I'm sure she just had like blunt, like a blunt cut.
She had stubs.
But they don't grow back any stiffer.
They just grow back as normal.
But she also had big boobs and a big butt.
Big butt.
So maybe you can't have everything.
I am jealous of her, though.
You can have lashes, boobs.
I have none of, I have none of the three.
I have, I have hair, which is nice.
Hair is a huge.
Like, I'm happy with this, but I got no lashes, no butt,
I think you should cut your hair.
Really?
Really.
So you're saying you're jealous?
People are saying, do you want me to cut my hair or what?
You should shave your head.
No, you're doing.
You're fine anyways.
No, put that hat on.
Put that cute little hat back on.
I don't think I believe this.
I don't know.
I think it's like, it definitely doesn't apply to me in my life and the people that I know.
Have you ever told someone they should cut their hair short?
I think never because I'm so.
long hair. I don't think I've ever given people advice on their appearance, like what to do with
themselves. Yeah. That seems a lot of, like a lot of, like too much observation in the wrong
place. It's like, why am I looking at my homegirls like this? Like, yeah, we're all hot.
It's fine. Also, I don't know if I'm going to give the best advice. I'm still trying to figure
out, you know, like my bra size. I feel like all the time it changes. Don't you feel like you
can tell you a really sad story about my tits? I'm not going to feel sad because you've got
great tids but okay so backstory i used to have implants they were double ds after a year i took them out
because i'm like i hate these things oh wow yeah so i went back to being sized a a cups um and then i
got pregnant and then they grew and i mean they were like up to here and then breastfeeding up to
here right but you know what grew with them my fucking ariola's dinner plates dinner plates
Can you see them?
I can't.
Prove it, liar.
And everyone, all the mothers out there are like, don't worry when, like, you stop breastfeeding, they're going to go back down.
Your aerolus will go back down.
And I don't know how I just can't foresee it.
Like, imagine the sad part about all of this is that my tits are going to go back down.
But will my aureolus go down with them?
How have they changed since?
Have you noticed a difference?
Are they the same?
I'm still breastfeeding is why.
So they're still big and, like, juicy.
Oh, God, they sound awesome
Thanks, can I ask us serious?
What are you guys complaining about?
This all feels like really positive, juicy.
No one has ever described my breasts as juicy.
My breasts have stopped, like physically they look like eighth grade.
Yeah, me too.
I feel like mine are anemic.
Like that's what I would get.
Like, oh, they're skeletor.
Wait, Kyle, I have a serious but potentially offensive question, but it's just, I'm projecting.
It's about Asians.
No.
No, not today.
Is it but Polynesians?
No.
Ariolas?
Let's talk about them.
Are you at all thinking about or considering like one of those like post mom surgeries where they redo the boobies?
I'm never going to put anything in my body anymore.
Not that.
But like whatever it is that they do.
Oh, just like a tuck.
Because I have seen before and afters where they will like somehow, which sounds so gross to me, but like they'll make the aerola smaller and they'll like lift.
But don't add.
I have to really.
ask myself, like, who am I doing it for? What am I doing it for? Because going under anesthesia,
going under that type of, like, really invasive surgery, like, I've done it before. I hated
it, like, had long, like, healing time. So I would have to really consider, what am I doing this
for? Because are my, are these new tities, like, fine? And, like, my partner's not leaving me.
We're not leaving each other. We have a baby. Like, we're tethered together. Yeah. And your
body's beautiful. Thank you. It's just a new, like a new version of your body. How cool is that?
But if I start to look in the mirror and it's really bringing me down where it's like,
ugh, like I can't stop thinking about it.
I might consider it.
I think you're right.
It's like, who are you doing it for?
You only do it for you.
Yeah.
Isn't that the idea?
Yeah.
I've got tiny ariolas.
Oh, flex.
They're kind of like little quarters.
Okay.
Come on.
Is that what's trending with ariolas now?
Like, is it, um, do people like small, medium?
Is there a targeted ad?
Yeah.
I don't know what's the, what's the newest trend on.
But I don't, I ask just because I've gone through some changes as well.
I don't think I'm there yet, but I do wonder.
Tell me about the surgeries.
Do they just like bring him?
Is it just like a...
I don't know what they do.
I've just seen before and afters.
And I'm like, whoa.
They just like lift.
They're small.
And it's like,
my ride kind of.
So that is, how do I say?
Like, the idea sounds like something I would do.
Because to go smaller and just never wear a bra is a dream to me.
I love small boobies.
Small boobies.
It's so nice.
No bra.
It sounds like the best thing on earth.
So if.
If I, I think that if I see that they're just still heavy and like kind of inconvenient, I might consider it.
I like having small boobs, but every once in a while, I'd like to walk into a bar and be objectified for my big boobs.
Can I tell you that this is what I thought I wanted when I got the double Tits?
Yeah.
Because I'm like, it's still my Vegas party era.
Like I still do Hakasan, you know, I still do pool parties.
I still do this.
This is some ratchet shit.
This is where my ratchet ears.
I lasted a year with those.
And I, the attention you think you want is literally like, it's going to, it's the bane of your existence.
It's so annoying because these dudes are so low caliber.
The dudes that go for just tits are so low caliber.
You don't even want to have a conversation with them.
What does it even like?
It just so just like, they just stare at you.
Yeah.
I remember going into Vegas and like, we'll bleep his name out, but like, this was playing.
He was objectifying you?
I literally got pulled to immediately
to the side getting them tomorrow.
I was there with Jenna.
She's like two half those implants playing around.
Can I recycle?
So like, so I was there with Jenna
who has great tits but not the biggest.
I was there with another gorgeous friend.
But they didn't give a fuck about my face.
The guy was literally like, Cherry picked me out
and he was like, hey, wants to like meet you.
Like let's stand behind like the.
DJ booth and I was like yeah can I bring my friends
and he was like no
and I was like oh it was sounding good
you are same I know I can't even go
you know like do this with my home worlds
it's it was I hated it but was he nice
I didn't go oh I wouldn't leave my friends
oh that's oh would you
I mean yeah yeah I don't even know
I was I know my big big tits out
this is about to seduce me
you know from here down but
Yeah, I think they have those like, what do they call?
I mean, comedians, sick comedian, male comedians have them, the people that pick girls out of the crowd.
Oh, yeah. Kathy Griffin was telling us about that.
Do they have a name, the people that pick a spotter?
Yeah.
Wow.
Kathy Griffin said that, like, her male contemporaries, like, when they would go on tour, would have spotters.
For her?
No.
Good for God, I'm so naive.
I didn't even know this word existed, a spotter.
I'd like a spotter.
Just like all of his teeth.
Or for like a random.
That's my guy.
to like fuck a random guy in Tulsa.
Wait, are you saying that if someone at your show
has all their teeth, that's all you need?
That's your bar.
It's pretty low.
And is it hard to find?
Sometimes, honestly.
I think I attract a weird.
Well, you're into all teeth.
I'm into some missing.
Oh, cool.
Yeah.
I put like a little gold bracket.
I love a gold bracket.
I love dentures.
I love a poppin tooth.
Oh, my God.
I mean, Bobby had like six teeth left.
What would your spotter are you looking for?
401K.
success what
I can imagine
credit school
yeah I want a financially
successful man
is that what you're asking
her spotter is like in the back
just Googling every name
that bought a ticket
so smart
yeah like what's your job
like what's your background
like
look at I see your W2
I don't want a successful
like yeah I have physical types
but I also like I'm not single
but if I did have a
if I was single
it would be like
who respects women
I don't know
You tell that from looking at someone?
No.
Yeah, unfortunately.
Because you have, unfortunately, the performative male.
Oh, yeah.
That's scary.
Scary, scary.
Wait, who is this?
What?
I don't know this person.
The performative male is usually a guy who is an ally to all things, the LGBTIA community.
He talks about hot topic issues in a very informed way.
he's a feminist.
Ew, but it's for show.
This guy sounds awful.
It's a costume.
It's not really who he's deep down.
He will verbally abuse you.
He will treat you no different than the Republican pig that you know.
It's all performance and scary.
I know a few people like that.
It's all to like get a girl.
It's all for optics.
Is he tall?
Okay, she's not talking about like one specific guy.
What is initial?
I think I fucked him last night.
Who is this guy?
Wait a second.
Can you just ask it like it was one guy?
You were like, wait, I don't know him.
Who is he?
What are you saying?
No.
We're not talking about like many men.
She's like, I wish you guys would just tell me who he is.
She's like, is it?
Because I fucked him at Tao in 2018.
Wait, I love that you had a Vegas.
I had a hardcore Vegas era.
What?
Oh, my God, me too.
Wait, what years?
Did we, did we, did we could be cross-over?
Ages, 20 to 32.
Yes, okay, 32 was my cutoff too.
32, yeah.
I was like, shoot.
Have you been to Vegas recently, like, post your Vegas era?
Can't do it.
I feel like a dark energy.
I needed to get the fuck out of there.
Can I have a rebuttal?
Yeah.
My non-comic friends are like lawyers, doctors, or they have like houses and children
and they're like, I don't belong with them.
I don't know why to hang out with me.
We recently went to Vegas in our,
like late mid 30s and did it adult style and it's lovely like caviar and stuff I don't know what
you're saying but actually kind of kind of yeah because in our 20s we go to a pool party with no table
no ticket just be hot girls and just be be spotted be ushered into the front yeah we got our own
cabana wow cabana for you know the DJ Fisher at um towel beach something we had our own cabana we ordered sushi
We got like, yeah, basically caviar, yeah, basically California rolls, whatever.
You know, there were like 22-year-olds trying to even stand near our cabana.
Did your heart break for them?
Yeah, I feel like that was.
Actually, no, I told security, can you tell her to not, she's dripping on my towel?
Can you?
And I literally with pride, I go, she's like there was, you know, drunk dudes, drunk girls.
It was me.
Yeah.
It was like a cat in her little hat right through that.
I was like, I was like, she disgusts me.
Can you?
I was telling you, you know what I mean?
Like, I paid to have people off my property.
It was my cabana.
These cabanas aren't cheap, dude.
They're so expensive.
I'm so Republican in Vegas.
You're like, I'm pro-life.
I'm so Republican in Vegas.
Wait, how much is the command I need to know?
I'm freaking out.
It's a lot.
It's like, in the thousands.
No, it's not.
Yeah.
It was 10 of us.
Because with the cabana comes the bottles.
We had bottles.
In my day, one bottle and one shitty table off to the side was 4 or 5K.
So I can imagine the cabana on like a weekend.
It was a weekend.
It was a beautiful sunny day.
It was like 10 of us.
We had the food, the service.
You're the 1%.
Yeah.
In Vegas, I love to be the 1%.
That's great.
And it's worth it.
So I embraced that.
And then we went to a restaurant, like a Jose Andres.
Yeah, yeah.
That I will say Vegas is.
great for because you know we go to best friend we go to that one noodle place off the strip um the food
yes i think what i failed to do the last time because i did the shows i did the food yeah yeah i need to
revisit um the pool parties as an adult yes i i haven't done that like my only memories of pool
parties is like literally like a murky pool because everyone's like yeah i don't
step foot in the pool yeah yeah you don't go in the pool no you're in the cabana no you're too
you're too crazy i'm in the shade you're gonna get like shaga's disease there it's not
yeah yeah yeah we don't touch the pool i think um you'll see it once you see it with not with sober
eyes you're like i'm not going in there yes whoa i don't know i still i don't even go to restaurants
in Vegas i just eat at Starbucks what I remember that I actually
like had a good Vegas hack, which was that I would go to a Chipotle and get like a single
taco. That's awesome. And like then your each meal is so cheap. But now it's like they have all
the best sushi places. They have everything and it's all so close together. Yeah. Like you can
really pack in so much. Whereas like in L.A. to go from, to get to like that fancy place to be like
an hour of traffic. Yeah. Yeah. And Vegas is just like a long walk. You know, you really sold it to
me. I thought for sure. You should try it as an adult. Do you treat yourself to the nice dinner, the nice
cabana one nice show one one clubbing night and just go proper like treat yourself the things i look back
on now which i i think in right i used to think oh my god what a terrible thing i did how ratchet how
unclassy was you know we would take our shoes off and you would see me i'd be the girl stumbling out of
the club because without the end of the night 100% without the shoes and then for a minute there i was
like ew like that's not me anymore but then i'm like wait we actually got to do that without
cameras without anything like we had like the pure fun of like ratchet freedom yeah i can
i have no regrets yeah sorry no go i've had too much coffee yeah there's hardly coffee in that
it's just like scorn milk yeah it's like you know when i was doing the ratchet era i we didn't
pay for anything we got a we got a promoter room at a like oh even your room or what's it
called circuses.
That's not the flex you think it.
It was so much fun.
Anyway, we got really drunk.
Circus.
I see what you're saying when people at your shows have no teeth.
What promoters are giving girls free circus circuses?
I know, I was so excited.
So even if you were to pay for a circus,
I'm sure it's like $80 a night.
I'm sure you guys give them.
They're like, just stay here.
We got comped at the Excalibur.
But we went there.
And they're like, okay, whatever, you just, you can stay, you can stay in circus, circus,
but you have to go to our promoter shows, like, and, you know, be the hot girls at the show.
So my best friend Robin and I, we like went to these shows.
And one of them was a brunch show.
So we got super drunk and we're like, we're going to go to this brunch show.
And we assumed that there was going to be brunch there.
But there was no brunch at the show.
Not a circus circus, no.
No, it was just like really gross.
They had like caprice goldfish
And she had like
Oh cat
I feel like just for you
I want to redo Vegas
Okay
I honestly
We should
For this conversation
We should cut this out of the podcast
It's so dark
Do you notice how none of us are laughing
And we're just very sad
Why?
You're like because I don't know
It gives so much fun
Okay so
So brunch meaning it was
The hours of brunch
That's what they meant bites of brunch
Yeah, so we didn't eat, and we came in, like, really, because we were thought we were going to eat brunch.
So we were starving.
And we were these slutty, slutty dresses.
We were, like, ready for, like, I don't know, canopays or something.
And they didn't have anything.
They just had, like, finger.
They had, like, gold, like, goldfish.
Yeah.
Goldfish.
And then just.
You went to a child's lunch.
This is a children.
But we got to stay at the circus circus.
So it was like.
What's, finish that.
sentence. Actually, don't.
Anyway.
Okay.
And you thought this was fun.
I had so much. I had so much fun.
Come on. You look back at those.
Yeah. I think I say what you're saying.
It's like when you're roughing it.
Yeah.
Like the first time, like think about the first or second time you went to Vegas before we figured
out like the promoter issue.
Before we figured out that you could get calm doing it before you could figure out,
oh, I can do this all for free before.
Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, I found myself at Jimmy Buffett's Margarita Ville making out with some fucking, like, 50-year-old dude from like, you know.
Jimmy Buffett. Yeah, Jimmy Buffett. And you're right. Those were the most fun memories ever, where it's like we're barely surviving. We don't know our next, where we're going to eat where we're coming. Like we're trying to like, we think we're hustling. We think we're getting like the one up on the Vegas experience. But we're really just passing away slowly over the weekend.
Totally. Yeah. I get that. And I do have fond memories of, of, of, of, of.
that. I get it. But yeah, maybe a different, maybe a little bit more elevated this time.
Because yeah, when you were saying, when you were saying you got comped, like me and eight girlfriends
would go walk towards a club. Like, and all the promoters like, okay, here's like eight hot girls
who, they're not going to buy a table. So they would just give us a bottle of vodka. Yeah.
And somewhere to sit. Oh, that's awesome. That's what I'm thinking when I say comped. You just got a
Capri Sun at noon and the circus circus lobby. This is different. This is different. This is
This is why we're different than you.
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Schemes.
Something has changed this week and what is it?
Are we doing an apple break instead of a banana break?
Cute.
Oh, this is so nice.
How exciting is this for you?
This is cool.
Look, a free app.
Look, is it a special?
What kind of apples?
I just want to give a shout out to
Granny Smith.
Honey crisp.
Oh, Honey Chris.
Is this sponsored by any apple brand?
Sponsored by Esther's love for only Honeychris.
Honey crisp apples are the best apples.
Really?
Yes.
Okay.
Do you bite straight out of them or do you slice them up?
At home, I slice them and did them in yogurt and peanut butter.
You couldn't pay me to bite into this right now.
Are we allowed to eat them?
Yes, yes.
This is supposed to be our fall themed episode.
ASMR.
So we need to, uh,
get some fall shit.
Oh, yeah.
By the way,
it's still fucking
100 degrees outside.
Like that guy,
our producer is like,
it's cold today.
I'm like,
don't get out of control.
Can we just referring to the AC in the room?
Like,
well,
it's chilly.
Can I show you guys
what I had to do
because I,
show us.
Are these,
they can put these
your natural boots.
I have to put this in my armpits
because that's how hot I am
in this sweater.
Oh,
I love it.
Oh, I'm just staring
on my tits.
Yeah.
Um,
we have some fall games,
right?
What's going on?
What do you have?
We have games?
So we're doing a fall-themed spelling bee.
How fun.
So you're going to say the word and I have to spell it?
Yeah.
These are way too easy.
Ellie, do you think we're brain dead?
Poor.
Literally it's like apple.
I'm like, oh, fuck.
I'm going to say the word.
Then I'm going to give you the definition.
And then I'm going to use it in a sentence.
Look, you can't.
The word is butternut.
The definition is a North American.
walnut tree bearing oblong fruit and for dinner he gave me a butternut yeah I don't
think that's right a butternut from behind it's an indian window you butternutted in me that
ooh butter nut and I got pregnant you spell butter nut you better be able to I mean I believe I can I'm
I'm glad it's so easy, and it is one word, right?
Well.
Butternut, B-U-T-T-E-R-N-U-T.
That is correct.
Thank you.
Good job.
Come on.
I'm Asian.
I'm glad we started soft.
The word is pumpkin.
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin.
Do you need any more context to the word?
Yes.
I want all of the context.
Okay.
Have you ever.
seen a pumpkin what's your experience with pumpkin this is the question portion it's not an interview
i'm taking it so seriously what's your experience with pumpkins what is a relationship with pumpkins
okay the definition orange orbs that are known to turn into horse drawn carriages oh how
cinderella in order to transport underprivileged maidens to the ball yeah i know a little bit about
Okay. Pumpkin. P-U-M-P-K-I-N. Pumpkin. Pumpkin, very good. Okay. That is the legal spelling according to this card. Okay.
Oh, you know what's funny? In the sentence, pumpkin is spelled wrong. Oh. P-U-M-K-I-N. How do we deduct points? In the sentence, my pumpkin called me last night.
do you think that is a cute like a pumpkin oh hi pumpkin i love that i never call anyone pumpkin but that's cute
i feel like it's like a southern thing like oh pump get get get i feel like when you're five feet
tall you can't really call anyone else pumpkin do you use any terms of endearment i don't think so
what do you call your um significant other mr dave you that's saying oh whoa that's kind of
Mr. Dave, can I have a bite of apple?
Mr. Dave, Mr. Dave, I have to go to the bathroom.
That's cute. I like that.
I just made that up.
That's not what I call.
Mr. Dave, can I go to the bathroom?
Mike.
Okay, I'm going to keep going down.
Okay.
It's kind of hard.
That is one.
Definition.
Okay.
Definition.
The third season of the year when crops is,
fruits are gathered and leaves fall
or the name
of a young probably white woman
typically blonde
autumn
a U
T-U-M-N
nice nice that's not an easy one
Autumnn
Okay here you go
Esther
the word is
Hayride
definition
She's so pissed
multiple sexual acts which occur
in a rural setting
sentence are you guys having a hayride
yes every Wednesday
H-A-Y-R-I-D-E
correct
nice nice nice is it a sexual act I've never heard
hayride I don't know but sometimes you know
if you urban dictionary stuff you can find a lot
yeah why don't we go straight to level four
I'll be honest I've struggled with pumpkin so maybe we just do level three
for the moment yeah autumn I thought I had autumn but then I had to think about it
It gets in your head.
Oh, my God.
These are going to get intense.
And sexy.
I mean, they're not.
They're not that intense.
Okay, Leslie.
Cornucopia.
That is intense.
What is that?
A symbol of abundance consisting of a goat's horn overflowing with flowers, fruit, and corn.
What?
That's a cornucopia, actually.
Oh, that's what a cornucopia is?
No, there's a different word for that, I thought.
No, this is like hunger games.
Remember the cornucopia and hunger games?
I didn't watch Hunger Games.
You know, you have to read it.
No, I don't, actually.
You know what I do?
I watch YouTube summaries of books.
Literally, the other day, have you heard of Wuthering Heights?
Yeah, of course.
I watched a 10-minute YouTube summary, and it was animated, and it was very helpful.
Oh, I want to see that.
Yeah, I'll send it to you.
I'll send you the brown noise.
We should do a book club of, like, YouTube summaries of books.
It's very helpful.
It's like visual aids.
Yeah, spark notes for your eyes.
Okay, Kornikobi, this is a word I never use.
I'm going to assume we're in the C family, right?
It's not K.
She's not giving me anything.
C.
C.
O-R-N.
That is corn.
Now we're moving under the Ocopia section.
What I'm going to say, what I'm feeling an A.
You're wrong.
No, what?
You failed.
Oh, it's O?
Wrong again.
What other letters are there?
Corn.
It's you.
Cornucopia.
Oh, my God.
Cornucopia.
Did you know that?
I don't know because once I look at it
It's like I don't know what I would have known
Do you want me to take it away now? Sure
Oh my god this next one is so hard
Okay, cornucopia
No no no it's over
I don't even know how to say this word
I can kind of
Oh sorry
Yeah yeah
This one is bad
It's hard
I don't even know this word
This is not good for me
Chrysanthemum
Oh I got you
Because it's one of my favorite flowers
Oh okay
C-R-Y
Nope
No, I, Chris, Chris, what's a missing letter there?
C.R.
Chrysanthemum.
Think of the name Chris.
Chris, there's an S in there.
There's next to the C.
An H.
Yes.
Have you heard this word before?
It's a flower.
It is a flower.
It's my favorite.
It's my favorite.
Okay.
Chrysanthemum.
Let me try.
Chrysanthemum.
C.H.
Yes.
The H is the crucial.
R.
Yes.
Y.
I didn't get coaching.
S.
Yes.
I didn't get coaching.
I didn't get coaching.
Okay, okay, let me just try.
I start to cry.
You got to stop at the S.
Okay, S.
Chris.
R-Y.
Okay, C-H-R-Y-S.
Thanthumum.
T-H.
You already, no.
It's, you forgot the N.
A-N-thumum.
T-H.
Can we just say she's getting it wrong?
Because Kuala's coaching,
and this is some like Tiger Mom shit.
I didn't get any coaching for cornucopia.
The second I said A, you're like,
wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.
didn't look at me. I was like, oh, Cornu,
Cornu. I know, but she straight up said C.R. Y, you're like,
no, there's an H. Like, you're, oh, you didn't give her a look.
She was supporting me. You were a look.
I don't like my children to fail.
This is some, like, white kid, like, handout shit.
Okay, well, she didn't hand you out anything.
No, neither of you guys got the point.
Neither of you guys got the point.
No one so far, no one has scored.
I do know it. You know it. I do know chrysanthemum.
So let's switch to the next one because I do know chrysanthemum.
I mean, you were kind of close.
Okay, I was.
Nowhere close.
This is an insane word.
You would call on like Cry Santa.
Cry, San, fam.
Mum.
Mum.
Mum.
M-U-M-U-M-A.
What does this flower look like?
I don't know why I'm not.
It depends where.
Yeah, different colors based on the soil, right?
It can be from pink to blue.
It depends.
Oh.
Fun, fun, fun, yes, yes.
Oh, I'm thinking of a hydrangeer.
I think it's hydrangea.
High-stranger.
High stranger danger.
Oh.
Okay, I actually would know how to spell this one.
And this is, I don't know.
I think you're getting readers' ego.
It's once you read the one, you're like, I know cornucopia.
Everyone knows the cornucopia.
Then you're like a little corticopia.
Okay, someone's a little bitter about corticopia.
I really triggered.
All right.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
Machiato.
Okay.
For the Italian word, machiato.
M-A.
C-C-H-I-A-T-O.
No, there's no H.
There's no age.
There is an age.
It's not two teas?
No, it's one tea.
Girl.
I love macchiados too.
I don't even drink coffee, but you have to know macchiato.
What is a macchiato?
Here, let me define it for you.
Espresso with a dash of frothy steamed milk.
It's like a mid-yard.
I would like a tall caramel macchiato, please, with all his teeth.
Okay, I wish I never did that.
The word is coniferous.
I've never heard that word in my life.
I think coniferous.
Sorry, I might be saying it wrong with my accent.
What is the definition?
Okay.
Definition.
It's of a tree producing cones and having leaves that do not fall off in the winter.
Okay.
I've never heard the word, but I'm going to try.
And sentence, red squirrels live in coniferous forests.
C-O-N-I-F-E-R-U-S.
Whatever.
Okay, whatever, whatever.
I've never heard this word of my life.
C-O-N-R-F-A.
Okay, but basically we're actually, we're the losing ones.
Oh, me and Esther head-to-head.
No, I feel like that's cool.
I can't, I can't.
Save it for the Patreon.
Why don't we do the medium levels?
You and me can do that together.
Okay.
Let's see the tiebreaker.
Let's do the tiebreaker.
Do you want Leslie and I to do it for you guys?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I read, oh, this is fun.
So I read this to you.
Oh, you gave it to me first.
Well, because I know I saw it.
Oh, yeah, okay, yeah.
And it's a good, it's easy.
So I'm just going to say your word is.
is persimmon.
This is, ah.
They're so fucking good.
I love them.
God, okay, so here's where I, can I explain my jag?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes.
My jag with persimmons, my whole life has always been,
is it two Ss or two M's?
So don't tell me.
But so in, when I think about the word,
my natural thing is always to double the S and never double the M.
So I think what makes persimine difficult is that I should go against the grain and
double the M. So my guess is persimmon P-E-R-S-I-M-O-N. That is correct. Nailed it. That is
correct. Oh my gosh. That was so intuitive. You got philosophical with it. Like you examined your
identity. Yeah. And she's like, I'm going against the opposite. I did dispelling these when I was
young. You did? You did? See me? She's screaming. Give it to me. Oh my God. Mom is screaming.
Jesus. Okay. The one thing I will say,
about a few of these words.
They're not English words, okay?
Right? Maciato, Italian.
Cornucopia, Greek.
That's actually, okay.
I don't know.
I just made that up.
Well, they're all.
Probably Latin.
Cornucopia?
Japanese.
Okay.
Esther.
Gormand.
Oh, yeah.
G-O-U-R-M-A-N-D.
Killed it.
You guys are like, no one clap.
Can we go to the loser rap?
Leslie and I?
We can call cats.
One more.
We've got to keep going.
No, I'm scared.
I don't want to do this.
What does Gormand mean?
It means like a French foodie.
Like, gilmand is the French word to eat.
I think we should just settle it there.
Okay.
Thank you.
Well done, everyone.
Everyone, good job.
Sorry, I yelled.
One of our patrons has asked for some advice.
Sluggies.
Fellow sluggies, please help me.
I'm in need of some advice.
My husband brought up the topic of an open relationship.
I kind of knew this day would come
because I'm the only woman he has ever slept with
and I know that people get curious.
So I guess what I'm asking is,
has anyone ever opened up their relationship?
If so, how did it work?
I wish Jenna was here.
I know.
One of our good friends who's often on the show,
she's gone.
She's in a relationship now
that has been open and closed
and open and closed.
Oh, wow.
I have never been in an open relationship
and I think I'd be horrible at it.
I have.
Yeah, tell us.
I'm pro.
I kind of knew this day.
This is interesting because it's like, it feels like a fear.
Because she knew this was going to happen.
So it's kind of this.
I think that layers it a little bit where it's like she's been anticipating something like this happening.
Now it's finally happened.
I think if you love something, you got to let it go.
Right?
And then it like just let it enjoy the oats.
And she could do that too, right?
I knew.
So she just.
I don't know if she wants it.
Oh, okay.
And that's it.
I think that's key.
If you don't want it, you need to just not pretend that you want it.
You cannot pretend that you're playing cool girl.
You can't make that person want to stay in that relationship if they want something else.
Do you know what I mean?
I'm going to be dramatic and say it's already done.
Like it's done.
He voiced it's open.
If she doesn't want it to be open, and I don't blame him.
He's only slept with one woman.
Like I get his curiosity.
It's like, I'm so, because he didn't go to Vegas.
He didn't.
He should have owned a legist.
He didn't go to Hakasan.
He didn't go.
Every man, I'm telling you, all the young men listening, go to Hakasan this weekend.
Take your shoes off.
And go have some consensual relations.
Go to Circus.
Get it.
No, no, no, no.
Don't listen to Cat.
I'm telling you, do not listen to Cat.
Don't go to Circus, Starbucks.
There is no pussy at Circus Circus.
What the hell?
That's their, that's their slogan.
We got no pussy here, but we got a one Capri Sun for each.
We got a pussy patron.
You know.
But I understand his curiosity.
It's like almost fair and she knew this was going to happen.
It's like already done.
So you either have to like either let him be open and then if you love him that much, let him do it.
And then maybe he'll come back.
I think that this is almost above the pay grade of those in the relationship.
And it really is screaming to me, let's take this to a couple's counselor and let's communicate.
And let's be like here's the right answer.
here's how I really feel because for whatever reason it's just easier to like open up when there's like a guided person there and I think you could get really far in figuring it out because right now like I don't have enough information to know how much and maybe you don't even like how serious is he about this like how serious are you guys about spending the rest of your lives together like I think there's so many questions um
that I think a good like counseling session could like get and even with a counselor without
getting too deep into my own shit um even with the counselor guiding you it can still very much go awry
and I think with open relationships if both people don't already have like a hundred percent like
if you're if you're not already a hundred percent in your relationship if both cups are
are already full. If you're not like, we're so fucking down to for each other. I love this thing. We have, you know, we're both kind of, we have, we're both a little polly. We both wanted to explore. If those two things aren't exactly equal with each person, there's going to be issues no matter what. It's like, I don't care how therapist I am on any given Wednesday. I'm insecure. I'm wondering. I'm sad. I'm jealous. Like those things don't like leave your body. Like even if I can like objectively be like, I agreed to this. Or.
I think this is what I want.
We both decided this together.
There's always going to be some like level of like unease about it, I think.
And I mean, even with Jenna, like I'm sure, you know, like we've known her for so long.
Like they're back together in a closed relationship now.
But during the open years, that shit was like painful.
It was hard.
Yeah.
Back and forth, right?
So it's hard for me to believe in a heterore relationship that like a truly open relationship can be like very, very.
like healthy and happy.
And this is coming from like experience.
I think that shit really does get murky and like sticky and painful.
I personally can't do it.
Like my brain can't handle it.
I can I give my all to one person.
I can't like multitask emotionally.
Yeah.
So I personally can't do it.
But I totally get how it can work for some people.
Like you know, polyamory.
Like it does work for some people where it's like there's eight people in a relationship, right?
And you're like, you're like, they're like, dude, this person's got to talk about it all.
There's a lot of texting.
There's so much talking.
Are they all to chain together?
Maybe.
They do that they do this thing called table, table service or table side or it's not table service.
What is that right?
But it's like, um, where you sit down at a table?
Yeah.
Yes, it's guacamole.
You sit down at a table and like you have to talk about your feelings always.
Like there's a lot of talking.
That sounds fun.
That sounds so exhausting.
That sounds awful.
I mean, you're just like, oh, this is Chad.
And why isn't that a reality show?
And Kat, you never told us about your experience with it?
My experience, it's kind of like right now, actually.
So I currently, my husband and I, we split.
Yeah, I'm single, but I'm kind of in like a few open relationships.
But it's very fine for me because I don't want any type of relationship.
And I don't feel tied emotional.
but if I was in a different point in my life where I was like maybe you know not coming out of a marriage I think it would be more complicated because I'm just I think we are humans we feel these emotions and if I like maybe and when I when I have sex with someone no matter what I feel tied to that person I don't have that like I wish I was like a dude in a way where you're just like you know like oh I've just and then I tried I've tried me too I've really tried to be like oh the cool
cool, like, I'm just a cool gal.
But there are those cool gals.
Like, I have girls in my...
They're fucking it up for everyone, really.
Girls in my very close circle, like some of my best friends, where they will just have
fun sex and, like, they're like, I never want to see that person again and leave it there.
Samantha's, like, fuck, I'm so sensitive.
It's like, I have to know that he, like, liked what I had to say, that he, like, or else, like,
I can't even get, like, corny, I guess, in a sense.
I can't like feel horny for someone who doesn't like I know I'm yeah I don't think they
like me like me like me I tried to be the cool in my 20s like hook up with someone and not care
but then every time I would hook up with the guy I'd be like why don't you want to hang out with me
like I'm so rad yeah yeah like what's wrong with you and then I would be yeah yes yes and then
when they would text me I would get excited and that's like okay now it's over because now
when they text me and I get like excited you get your little dopamine head yeah yeah so mad and
And then like...
And then like...
Just like that game that women and everybody gets addicted to where you like a guy and he's fucking situation shipping you.
He's breadcrumbing you.
Yeah.
I was in one of those recently and that guy sucks.
How did you eventually get out of thinking like I care about any morsel he throws my way?
I just got the ick from him event like that that the ick he like one time he like he tried to hold my hand but he started like petting the inside of my hand and just, and he had like the...
weird fingers. I don't know. I get weird
with fingers, like if they're too
feminine. Oh, yeah.
For me, I get that. Like, I like a
guy that has a, you know. A big chunky
hand. Yeah, but it's like had like work.
Like, he's done work, like
lumber, like he's worked with lumber. I got to
say that the ick is
a gift from God
to women. Because the relief, I feel.
It's our instinct. It's like,
yeah. But imagine like, okay, so
like, there's been situations where I'm like,
fuck like I'm really in some type of like emotional turmoil over someone and then one day I see like
like like a silhouette of their hips and then I'm like oh and then immediately like you can never
go back talking to you you can never go back it's tough it's almost like God gives you a direct
answer it's like here you go so this isn't the right analogy but it's like a skunk has the smell
to protect us.
So, yes.
Yeah.
Or isn't it,
I don't want to spread misinformation,
but isn't it too like,
everything I've said is right and true.
Please,
you post everything.
But there's a gasoline.
Is it true that the smell of gasoline is added?
Yes.
In order to protect us because I think it's actually odorless.
Someone fact check me.
I love the smell of gasoline, though.
Me too.
Yeah, that's why we're toxic.
We go after the,
guys who smell like gasoline.
I love gasoline.
I believe it's originally odorless,
but obviously we shouldn't be
interacting it in our bodies, ingesting
it, whatever. So the smell
is put in there to make us go, oh,
oh, no, no, no. I have to stay with that.
So the reason I think that this is correct is because
I snapped at...
Awesome.
I was so into this, though.
Wait, no, this has to be
I love gas. I snapped
at my partner because the gas
range was on and it was
the whole apartment smelled like gas and I was like oh my god we're all gonna die we're gonna die
and he was like no that's an added scent to warn you that the gas is on but then now I should
fight him again because apparently that's not true so that is the smell of benzene I love it I like
the smell of gasoline I love it but I think you're right like the the ick is a gift from the universe
it's so good it's like the opposite of oxytocin which like connects us it's like when you're
playing a board game and you're losing and you get like that magic card that lets you get out of jail
that's like an egg it's like saying esther don't be this person yeah okay let's get out of this game should we say
our icks which what what they are i have an anti-ick for you okay i have a flex for you because you like hands
my husband has this autoimmune condition called tell me juvenile idiopathic arthritis it's like the same thing as
rheumatoid arthritis. But he gets mad when I call it that because it's more complicated.
But so his hands are like kind of mangled and disfigured and it's so hot.
I love it. That's a great look.
The way that he talks, like he can't, this is so fucked up, like he can't move his wrist.
And he's so insecure about it. I'm like, Dave, you don't understand.
Bring those hands to the room. Like his hands are like this. I don't know. It's so hot.
So when he talks, he, we all motion with our hands. He can't like do this physically.
But you know how great it is. He doesn't. He doesn't. He does it.
to do that. Because the unbrist on a man
is an ick. I know. That's what I'm saying.
But he's constantly like, this is a great thing day.
This is power. This is power.
This is power.
Ridgid. It's literally so hot and he doesn't
understand. I'm like, no.
I love that. I love it.
He's like trying to drink.
I mean, it's better than bouncing around like this.
I know. Right?
And that's not homophobic.
It's not.
It feels like, actuality aside.
Just generally on men and women, I'm not into the bouncing ribs.
I will never see my husband do this.
There's people that like...
That will never happen to me.
You're so lucky.
You know like how people run what they do with their hands?
There's like people next to me on a treadmill who literally run like this.
I know.
And I just throw up and leave.
I can't.
You can't do that.
Like doing like doing this.
I don't know what that's about.
It has to be your hands.
I'm not a pro.
You can fact check me.
It has to be a rhythm and your hands have to be up.
And you shouldn't.
make a fist, but it shouldn't be so
when you're running, like, you don't want to do this,
right? You also don't need this. This feels like crazy.
Wait, now I'm scared. This cuts through the
air faster if you make your hands
thinner. This reminds me
of a Terminator. You remember the
metal guy? Why did he run so fast? Because he kept it
fucking slick. Yeah, he's got to be slick with it. Well, this is a
very sore subject for
a one Miss Esther Pavitsky over here
because running is hard for you.
Oh, yeah. I don't look right running. It's a kind of
That's your husband for him.
Yeah.
He would never run.
You'd never allow it.
Yeah, I would never run.
Yeah, running isn't for everyone, but it's, I think it's fine.
And also, like, your knees, you cannot even be at an angle, right?
Running is, like, upright, apparently.
I've been looking into the mechanics of running because I'm pigeon-toed, so, like, my
knees, like, it's just, it's a funny, it's a funny look.
But I always thought running was, like, launching forward, and apparently it's this upright motion.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's about, like, the steps and the pace.
of your steps like your steps have to be quicker and i think it's not i think you're supposed to run up
yeah like knees up yeah and you also have to have tiny little shorts tiny little shorts
that's with like no because all the guys don't know no but then it'll bunch up into your crotch
yeah but none of the guys have underwear when they have you noticed that they have always
freeball it out there they have what in they have little crotches oh okay because i'm like i don't
think there's anything i'm actually fascinated with what happens to a man's crotch during
the run.
I think it just,
well,
I think because it
vaso, the rest of your body
vasodilates and it pulls the blood
away from,
when your blood vessels
expand.
Spell it.
V-A-S.
Really?
Yes.
Can you say the word again?
V-O-Dilate.
V-A-S-O-D-I-A-L.
Flip it.
What?
D-I-L-A-T-E.
It's not.
not dialate, it's dial. Oh my God, you're right. I was with you. You have a
spot champion on your side. You're thinking dialysis. No, you're thinking
dialis. I am. I am. Which is dial, like to hello.
But I think that what happens, correct me if I'm wrong men, because I don't have balls
myself, that your blood goes to your peripheral everywhere else but your balls
guys. So like your balls actually stay high and tight when you run and they don't like just,
you know, jingle-dangle. Man explain how your balls work to us, please.
That's why would you stop running, you get super horny, because all the blood goes to your balls again.
Is that true?
After.
That's why when you slow down?
It was slow down, and all the balls go.
All the ball, all two of them.
All of them.
Wait, what is it?
We're not even letting the man speak.
I haven't measured, but I feel like you've got to be right because there's not a lot of like swang in or, you know, like,
hitting against your leg or anything.
They're pretty stationary.
Yeah, you never see balls swinging around.
up there. I just don't think, I think that God thought this through because he favors men.
And I know that he would never let a man carry like big heavy balls on a run. He makes it
convenient for him to run for his prey. But for us, the balls go up. Yeah. Yeah. I wish our labias did
that. Wouldn't that be fun if they're just like, I think that they do because technically your labia
is the same skin as a ball sack. Yeah. So they, oh, so you think they go up there? Because I have
big labia. So I feel like, you have to like do the tuck in before. Yeah.
Yeah.
That's fun.
I just can't do the ball sack.
I got to go.
No, no, yeah, let's not do that.
Yeah, no more balls.
But we didn't help the girl.
Oh, that's right.
So we went right into,
how do we get?
Balls, when you run, fellas?
She's like, my marriage is falling apart.
Like, so when guys run, it's like really tight down there.
You're right.
So here's a solution.
The four of us will fuck your husband.
this fall
Coming to you this fall
Better nutting to you this fall
We're going to circus
We will show him that he's better off with you
We will the four of us
Yeah fuck this guy
Give him an honest fuck
But this guy's I mean he's it
No no no I'm sure your husband's a nice guy
But you got it I mean I bet you
I bet she's really pretty
She should go out there and do her own thing
He's being honest
I don't know
Maybe there's ways that you can like
Roleplay or I don't know
Maybe there's creative ways
I think that there's I hate this like I'm being honest so I'm I'm I'm correct I think that there's people who are so cruel with their honesty they they trick you by thinking their honesty is somehow this like superior like it's not it's like I know where it's like you know that they're radically honest people but what's his alternative so it's his alternative is keeps this feeling inside no no I think that it's right that he is
expressing it and like honking the horn and saying hey this is how I feel but I really think he needs
to that's his wife that's something that that's a commitment he also needs to honor how she feels
and if she's like hey I'm not ready I'm not there yet he should listen to her I think she needs
to honor how she feels totally yeah because she should not listen to us anyways yeah yeah I don't
know definitely not me yeah not me don't beg though don't beg him to stay don't beg him not to
yeah because it gives him the power I feel just like there's a power dynamic here that's interesting
of a topic switch but just you saying like the honest friend it's so weird to me because
I have seen that and experienced that this is like I'm like I feel like I'm so stupid for
thinking this is a huge surprise but like the person who's like I just am always honest and
I have to be honest I'm like why is that the reason I'm lying right like red flag red flag red
That soon as someone is like, I'm a truth teller.
It's like, but you're lying.
Did you just have, I know you're lying.
So what the fuck?
It's like such a cheat code.
You're thinking of a specific person right now.
And I love this.
But I think we all have that one specific person in our lives who just thinks they're so
fucking high and mighty.
Yes.
Because they are operating from a place of radical honesty.
And it's like, no, you're just a cruel bitch.
I didn't fucking ask for your unwarranted advice or opinion.
and you're just launching them at me
and I don't fucking want to hear it.
Yeah.
I hate that shit.
Those people make good like reality stars,
but not good friends.
Great reality stars.
Yes, yes, yes.
Like I tell it like it is.
It kind of hurts my feelings when you do.
You know what?
You know, when someone says,
cut your hair, bitch.
Yeah.
When someone's like, I'm not the one.
You know what I'm not the one.
I feel like I am the one.
What's the one though?
What is the one?
Because people say like,
I'm not the one when they're like.
Like you're not.
You're not going to, don't mess with me.
Oh, I love that.
Oh, I love that.
Oh, I've said that.
Oh, fuck, I've said that.
I feel like you are, you, I think everyone here is.
Yeah, the one.
Yeah.
I think I am the one.
You're the one to fuck with?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm the one that's like, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sure, whatever.
You can talk with me.
I'll take it.
Yeah, yeah.
Totally.
Oh, my God.
Because you're not a big confrontation.
Yeah.
Which I get.
But also, like, it's normal to not love confrontation, right?
Like, that's totally normal.
I don't think I know myself in that way.
I always say that I'm a people pleaser and that I don't love confrontation.
But I think there have been many examples in my life the past couple years where I actually, I was
talking in therapy and my therapist was like, no, you're the enforcer.
Like, you are a people pleaser, but up to a point, when you feel like genuinely wrong,
like you have no problems telling someone like, hey, this is not okay.
and I don't like that and like, fuck you.
But it takes me a long time to get there.
Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, because I can't in real time tell them like, fuck you.
I need, like, processing time.
Yeah.
You ever do that on accident where you like tell someone how you're doing in real time and it's a total mess?
It's a mess.
It's a mess.
You're like, cries or crying.
And then you're just embarrassed.
He spent a whole mind like, why do I say it like this?
I thought that through a little bit.
Yeah.
I hate that feeling.
All right, guys.
No.
Happy fall.
We can spell some of us that I'm of us.
F-A-L-I-L.
F-A-I-L.
I've had so much fun today.
Are you guys on tour?
What's going on?
Where can we see you?
I'm kind of on tour always.
Everywhere online, I'm Resri-R-R-R-L, basically.
I'm online.
I'm on the internet.
She's touring online.
You'll see her.
Yeah. I have two. I'm torn online cat, catbird comedy. That's what you can find me. I also, can I say I have a new podcast? Yes. You too? Yes. It's called side boob pod. I love the name. And it's one of my best friends, Mikey McDonald's and we're just talking about dumb stuff on there. We don't really, it's fun. You should watch it.
By the way, side boob, it has been my only titty flex my whole life when you have small boobs. Side boob's the best.
Side boob is the best.
Everyone loves a side boob, you know.
It's just a good boob.
I don't even think I have a lot.
It's okay.
You just have to wear really cut in shirts.
Yeah.
All the way in.
Like all the way to my nipple.
Like,
oh, that's a boob.
Yeah.
I see it.
I see it now.
Like there's no defining.
Yeah.
It just looks like a chest.
Like it doesn't look like anyways.
Yeah.
That's exciting.
Thank you so much.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I'm on tour this fall.
I'll be in Philly, Boston, New York.
I'm about to be in Portland and Seattle.
Nice.
Denver.
You can get tickets
at pretty little
babytour.com.
Kalila has a
hair care brand.
I do.
EbOceanclub.com
and on Instagram
at EbOcean Club.
And we are coming
to a retailer
near you very soon.
So watch out for that.
Thank you guys
for listening.
And we'll see you
next week
with a brand new episode.
Yay.
That was so.
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Might I say, 5,000 top beauty and wellness brands choose Boulevard to streamline and grow their
businesses because self-care businesses don't just switch to Boulevard. They stay. Visit join
BLVD.com to learn more about Boulevard and book a demo to see if it's right for your business.
And for a limited time, Boulevard is offering new customers 20% off your first year subscription.
That's J-O-I-N-B-L-V-D dot com to learn more.
J-O-I-N-B-L-V-D dot com.