Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - MORE DARES! w/ Ian Fidance & Jenna Jimenez

Episode Date: July 1, 2025

JOIN THE WEIRDEST PATREON EVER: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast Ian! Jenna! Sleepover! Dares! What a recipe for complete & utter insanity. I’d venture to guess this weeks episode is the most Trash Tuesday episode that’s ever Trash Tuesday-ed. Buckle up cause we’re smelling armpits, calling moms, playing telephone, baby birding banana (BBB), exposing family lore and believe it or not we end with one of the most real moments from one of our hosts that we’ve ever seen on our trashy little show watch the ep all the way through to see!! xoxoxoxo   #skimspartner Check out the SKIMS Ultimate Bra Collection and more athttps://www.skims.com/trashtuesday *Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com *Visit Ebb Ocean Club & Holiday Shop* https://www.ebboceanclub.com/ for Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products! FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday  MORE ESTHER: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/  MORE KHALYLA: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A PRODUCTION:  Production Team: Tiny Legends, LLC: https://www.instagram.com/tinylegends.prod/ Stella Young: https://www.instagram.com/estellayoung/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/  Edited By: Arielle Jade: https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/  

This is pajamas I could get guys. Well, wait, is that true or did you just not remember? I didn't remember. Because I didn't remember either. And both of you all stepped out your car and said, what are you wearing? No, because this could pass as what you normally wear every day.

True. True, you're right. When I went to the coffee shop this morning, no one flinched. You wore that to the coffee shop? Yeah, you one flinched. You wore that to the coffee shop? Yeah, you think I'm gonna change when I get here? That is very Silver Lake flea market. I walked up and they were like, same thing,

10 grams of vanilla and I was like, yep. I want that. I wanna all go out together wearing those. We're not going out. Shop the Skims Ultimate Bra Collection and more at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you. Select podcasts in the survey and be sure to select our show Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows.

Skims. Brrr. Shout out to our Golden Slugs, Brandon and Thomas. Hello, slugs. The rumors are true. We have a Patreon. And this Patreon is giving. If I may say, if I may compliment myself and Kalyla,

so it's not totally self-centered, but we have extended episodes. Okay, that's first and foremost. There are deleted scenes that we take out of the regular episodes, but we that's first and foremost. There are deleted scenes that we take out of the regular episodes, but we keep them in the Patreon. So if you're wanting more slug content, highly recommend signing up for those, for the extended cuts.

I need to keep, we've been doing the extended cuts the whole time we've had the Patreon. I just feel like I didn't really realize that we were. There are specific scenes that we delete because we go, we don't want these to be public, but we're like, you know what? They're safe for the people who are laying down a credit card,

who are willing to verify their identity. We'll let them in on this. We also have bonus content every week. I know last week we had a vlog me at the comedy store with Bobby. We usually have bonus episodes and we just share a lot more behind the scenes on the patreon. I highly recommend it if you're a super

fan. And also I wanted to announce that I will be announcing a tour very soon so please keep your ears and eyes peeled because July 8th I'm announcing a big tour and it's been a long time since I've been on the road and I'm really excited for this tour I'm excited to share the name the artwork and all the cities that I'm coming to so see you guys then Daddy's in his pajama. Wait, wait, wait. I don't know if you know that but those are swim trunks not pajamas. That's how I I'm not Would you expect me to put a little candle on a thing? Wait you sleep in swim trunks these are swim trunks These are shout out God's hate these are

Pink tiger print let Let me touch. Okay. They look like little like basketball shorts. Oh my God, you guys are having a sex. This is not a good material for your penis. This is how I sleep. And then if we're dating, I go naked and we cupcake. What's cupcake?

And hot dog. Cupcakes when you cuddle and hot dogs when I put my wiener in between your butt cheeks like a hot dog. And you sleep with our soft. Oh, that's cute. Oh, that gets hard. Wait, why is cupcake cuddle? No, I would. And you sleep with her soft. Oh that's cute. Oh that gets hard. Wait why is cupcake cuddles? No I would love it if it were just soft.

It's soft and then I have to adjust the butt cheeks because it falls out and then usually I go, this is nothing personal but I have to sleep. And then I turn over and I just keep my hand on your butt and I go to sleep. This isn't good pajamas? That's good. Yeah? Yeah.

Can I say shout out Cold World, shout out Nick Woj. One of the toughest, best bands out there. He loves, he's a drummer, I've known him for years. He loves Trash Tuesdays. Really? Yes, and this is his band shirt. And we're talking, we're at a hardcore fest. And he goes, dude, dude, I'm a slug.

And I go, I go, I go, I go, me too man, sometimes I just can't get out of bed. And he goes, no, no, I love Esther, Kaila and Trash Tuesdays. I was like, oh yeah, me too. So funny. So cute, I love our male slugs. I know, we're so lucky for them.

Especially if they're hardcore like that. Mm-hmm Yeah, so this is their shirt, and I said I'd wear it on the show and it's a operation ivy rip But this is what I wear to bed. This is not okay. No, it's great. I have a story for you guys what this is sleepover We're getting like personal. Oh boy. I want your opinion. Yes. I once had a friend name. I'm just gonna say her name I once had a friend name Yes, yes a little bit of a head but love being around her cuz she was always the caboose to the party and would take up Take us to the top of fun Mountain I don't do drugs, but she was that girl who was just a resident head and she'd always like rally

Anyways, like fun man. Look at her face. She's like what the hell's the caboose caboose is just the that girl who was just a resident head and she'd always like rally. Anyways. That sure doesn't like Fun Mountain. Look at her face, she's like, ah. What the hell's a caboose? Caboose is just the engine. The back of the train. Do you know Fun Mountain? No, what's Fun Mountain?

Fun Mountain is when you end up at a strip club buffet at nine in the morning. What? You're like, where are we? That's called Fun Mountain? Yeah. You're like eating at a strip club, that's Fun Mountain. I love eating at a strip club. They've really good steaks

I don't think they do. Yeah every strip club. I've gone to that has food has great steaks. I don't know what it is Maybe it's the you know juices It's a really really good. Okay, so she was friends with a guy that I was seeing Can I just say you were speaking in limericks. You're gonna get this. You're like, I once had a friend named. Oh no, she's doing poems. This poetry, oh this is so hard.

This is a haiku. No, no, it's not. It's, what do you call it, spoken word. Oh. Okay, fun, let's call it Fun Mountain. And I just wanted to say that, if you ever did a spoken word performance at a little coffee shop or a laundry mat,

I would go. I know you'd be there. I would love to watch you at the New Eurekan Cafe in New York. I'm gonna make this really quick. I always had a great time with her. She was best friends with a guy that I was dating. This guy did a criminal thing when we broke up.

A criminal thing, which is he took another girl who was friends with Fun Mountain into my home and fucked her in my home while I wasn't there. That's wild. Twice. Now I got a phone call today from another friend. She was like, hey, guess who I ran into? I ran into Fun Mountain.

And we talked about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then all the memories of me hanging out with Fun Mountain were there. It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me. Do I still hang out with her knowing the betrayal? Does she know this happened? Yes, and I reached out to her when it happened and I said, hey, like, what the?

Wait, what did she say when you confronted her? She never wrote me back when I confronted her. And now she's reaching out? No, my friend ran into her and she was like, oh, how's Kalyla? Like nothing happened. Yeah, but what she's supposed to do, be like, hey her and she was like, oh how's Kaila like nothing happened? Yeah, but what she's supposed to do Word in heroin by the way, I was fun mountain and I fucked Kaila's act

No, but she her friend did her friend did fun mountains did yeah anyways, but they were like best friends So this group of fun mountain didn't do it. No, but she was best friends with the people that day Are you upset with fun mountain because fun Mountain is the one who said house Kaila yeah, okay, but acted as if she wasn't in on the crime. She was in on the crime How do you know nothing to do with it? Yes? She was you and your ex and some other she was out with them when she said bye bye and Ex went into my home and had sex she knew about it. Okay, what was she gonna do? Be like, oh, bring your ex, actually I would.

I'd probably grab someone by the and pull them out of the house. Well, this is why I'm asking you. Do I go? I might. That is a weird firefighter. You think it's okay that I don't forgive them, but I'm back, I'm friends with her again. Yeah. Yeah.

I need a head back in my life. I mean, why is Fun Mountain guilty by association? Judged by who she knows. Because she didn't do anything to stop it is what she's raising. But do you actually have interest in her? She was really fun. But she's not her brother's keeper.

Ask her, you know the pretty thing. Do you have any interest in having fun? Yeah. Because that's the real question. You're right. I have no interest in having fun anymore. I don't wanna have fun. I've had so much fun, I'm done. Are you gonna be doing That's the real question Are you gonna be doing can eat and stakes at 9 a.m. You're right that friendships dead Thank you, but I think it's cool that she's just like hey house Kaila because it's like four years later

Everything it's like I who cares yeah, you're right. You're just now. You're just the drama is wiped away You're just a person. She did nothing That's like being in the car when someone goes into a house and commits murder It's like why do they get in trouble? Well sometimes though when you do get away Sometimes your passenger is If you say so she was an accessory to a crime huge accessory I don't think she should be in trouble for that. But how close were you with her?

She was the person who would complain about her cheating boyfriend to me every week. And I would console. So I thought there would be some level of mutual respect to be like, honk, honk, my friends are fucking in your apartment. But were you broken up? We were, which is wise reason

There shouldn't be access to my place. Yeah, why do you do it in your place? Maybe some pain? I don't know marking his territory Maybe who knows I think it was retaliatory who knows that's like what how donut poops every night in our bathroom She's just sort of letting us know it's her. It's her house. No, that's exactly what it is She's just sort of letting us know it's her it's her house. No, that's exactly what it is It's kind of it's a reminder like guess who's boss. Yeah, and I'm gonna shit where you sleep Yeah, I'm a victim of this every night. It's like when you grab my tits in front of people It's like you don't want to do it in private, but you want to let people know She's mine

Forgiven then forgiven Fun Mountain barely is anything to do with it. She's not your best friend She's not she's not gonna be like yo what the fuck she's just there probably on coke Probably want to go to another summit of fun Mountain, and she's just like get out of the car We got places to go and people to blow like it's like what do you can't get mad at fun Mountain? She doesn't exist as a moral arbiter of justice. She's a cocor. Thank you. But not in a bad way.

Cocor's not a bad way. She teaches yoga now. So I don't think that. Of course she does. Speaking of Fun Mountain. Of course she does. Ian, I saw you, were you recently at Universal Studios? Yeah. How was it? I'd never been. Did you have fun?

I turned into child mode and I hugged Krusty the Clown and said, I'm a comedian too. Did you love the Simpsons ride? That's my favorite ride. It was amazing. Wait, what else did you like? You like a ride? Oh, the Simpsons ride?

It's like you're the only the screen moves. Oh, god. Oh, the assimilation. To be honest, I really liked the Min minion ride. Oh, is it scary? No, but you're in a seat and like moves around. And there was a girl that I started seeing that week and I fell head over heels for. And she mentioned that she liked the minion rides.

And she was like, the minions are cute. So I went to the gift shop. That's the whole reason you went to university. And I got her like 30 minion things that I stole. And when I picked her up, I had a minion strapped into the front seat and I got her a minion key chain. I got her a minion bucket hat. She only took the other minion

and then thought I was joking with the other minion gifts and I had to be like, yeah, jokes. Oh my God. Wait, so there's a new girl? What's going on with this girl? We met up last night to talk and then we're hanging out today and I may get into a relationship. Oh my God.

And I haven't been in one in four years, three years. Well, cause last time you were here, you were in some sort of thing. And I haven't been in one in four years, three years. Well, because last time you were here, you were in some sort of thing. Was I? Girl, I'm always in a thing. What? It wasn't like a serious thing. No.

No, not at all. Because you had told us about your serious thing from years ago. Wait, you met up last night to talk? Mm-hmm. I love that. What is that? We only hung out for like a month.

She lives in LA. I live in New York. So you're moving here. Oh my god. Well, I did go to Redondo Beach yesterday and fell in love with it. But that's really far. I know.

But I would get a car. You cannot live there. No, no, no, no. Why? But it's on the beach. No, no, no. 2,900 for a two-bedroom. No, no, honey.

Craig Karnak said it was good. You're being conned. Craig does love it was good. You're being conned. Craig does love Redondo Beach. You're being conned. It's a really far drive from all the comedy clubs and all the podcasts and all this stuff. And all the people. It's cute for two weeks and the drive seems like,

oh, I'm seeing LA, but no longer than that. You know what, you'll know. We can't convince you until you move here and then you go, oh my God, what was I thinking? And proof, this is proof for you. I adore Long Beach. I wanna move to Long Beach. I lived there for a long time.

No better place in LA area for me, but I cannot move there because- I can't move to California yet. I'm going to save up and that's the goal, to move here within like a year or two. And is this, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh shit, shake that ass, ma, let me see your hips swing. Is this because of the girl or?

No, no, no, no. It's because of the minions. No, it's because of the minion ride. I'm close to the minion ride. And also, did you know how easy it is to steal from Universal Studios? They steal from us. $400 for a fast pass and parking and a day ticket.

And you know you can't tip the people you go Oh, hey, here you go. Take the change. I go. No, sir. I can't there's cameras But if you go online and leave a comment, that's good enough. I'm like you are a slave They you have you ever stolen anything what your heart I Wondering cuz like all my friends have and I've never stolen absolutely I've never ever stolen anything everything is crumbling you might as well go out and get yours people keep telling you think I didn't go into Macy's and steal every single early 2000s Jenna late 1990s. It was baby fat, rock aware, echo.

Baby fat. Fubu. Fubu. Fubu, yes. The best part about it is I- Juicy. That's what I was trying to think of. Juicy was a little bit later.

Wait, what were the white shoes? Like they're all white kind of. Kids? No. No. Vans? Was it C? Um.

Converse? Like what the fuck are you thinking of? No. Ethnies? Keep going. No. Jambalaya? Was it a C? Converse? What the fuck are you thinking of? No! Etnies? No! Jambalaya? This may be the one thing that we both... Because we were looking at the hot guy.

Yeah, but we stole everything from everywhere as minors. Dude, I stole nothing. My whole life I literally stole nothing. Let's go out and steal. Like, I thought it was so bad and if I would accidentally leave some place with something like a thing of bread that I'm like, oh I thought you paid for it. My mom was like, should we take me back inside? What are you, Aladdin in a market?

I know. What are you talking about? Street rat, rip rat, focaccia in my bag. But wait, K-Swiss? K-Swiss, yeah. Oh. Wow. K-Swiss.

But guys, this did change when I turned like 35. It hit me very late and I was like, man, they are fucking stealing. It didn't come because I was like, yeah, I wanna do bad things. It came because I was like, such a huge corporation, they're fucking stealing shit. And one time I walked out with a whole case of apple juice.

You are Aladdin. Yeah. Yeah, you're just stealing food. And one time I walked out with a whole case of apple juice. And- You are Aladdin. Yeah. You're just stealing food. You're stealing food. But what's crazy is that I paid for like most of it. I paid like $88 and then I was like, man, I'm so broke. I need some of this applesauce.

You gotta pay for like one thing, one for you, one for me, one for you, one for me. Wait, I don't like this conversation on the podcast. You guys stole my steal. You from the Hudson News at the airport. Dude, you guys steal if you, for sure won't get caught. I got stuck in an airport for nine hours. You think I'm not stealing Pepto-Bismol?

Listen. That's life-saving medicine for me. We do not support criminal activity on this podcast. I haven't stolen in a while, but when I did, all of those jackets. We did not encourage it. I would look at the a while, but when I did all of those jackets, I would look at the tag. Just DGC, don't get caught. DGC.

I would look at the tags and everything. I was like, oh, I'm going to buy Fubu. It was the most American thing. Like an image of American boy, right? American teenager. And then I would look at the tag and it would say made in the Philippines. I was like, oh, my Tita Lucy made this this fuck this. I'm taking this that was my justification

Yeah, my people's hands made this. Yeah, and now Macy's is selling it for whatever the fuck they're selling it for Yeah, it was already yours. It was already mine. No money. I think that's probably getting two cents for it I was so scared to steal anything not even always think of data My mom was like rammed it into my head that like you do not lie and you do not steal. That I didn't even think of it until I was like. We were so broke. We got so much government cheese

from Albertsons, my sister and I. We, you know when the self checkout lines became for first a thing? Oh my God, like you said. That was probably the best time to steal cause they hadn't figured it out yet. Broke college kids, we need food, we're hungry. So you're in love? You're putting me on the SPOT. Well we hung out and it was like so intense

and then I go back to New York she visited. Dude I had the best night me her and then two friends from Boston came down and stayed with me and we just hung out in my basement in the studio And just ripped cigarettes and like laughed and played heads up and it was so fun, but then she left and We were talking and not like not talking like as much and then she hit me and was like I want to be monogamous I don't think you can be and I just want to be friends and I was like what the fuck lady So I was like, okay, that's fine. I accept that and then after a while I was like planning for She started feeling like she was having feelings for ya. Well, then she told me she's like dude I thought I was like in love with you and I was told like I cried for like no shit dumb ass

Fuck he knows that if someone says I I wanna be monogamous with you, if he doesn't know what that means, yes he does. I can't just, I don't know how to date and then go into a relationship without being like, why don't we fucking get married? That was a problem. Like what? So I told her that side, I go look, we met up, she initially was like, I don't think it's healthy for me

for us to meet up, and I was like look, I understand that, but I get to say how I feel. So then I picked her up and we drove, we went to Cantor's, we hung out and then we talked. Did you get a tuna melt? No, I got eggs, sausage, potato pancakes, sorbet. Ooh, latkes?

Motsubo soup, yes. And then I just laid it on the line and was like, look, if I'm gonna be in a monogamous relationship, this is what I need. You need to come on the road with me and I have to be around you that I can't just see you once every two months and be like, let's just talk on the phone.

That is not sustainable for me. And that's what I need and if you can't match that, I understand and I'll accept that, but this is what I need, this is what I want. Ball's in your court, lady. And then what? Well then, she gave me some shit that kinda pissed me off. She's like, I wanna go upstairs and be together

and blah blah, but I just just I need to take things slow I was like what are you talking about? I've already had my fists up your ass like how do you go slow from there? You can go slow from there. Yeah, yeah, because fists up your ass is just whatever it's physical I mean when you're driving a car you can go a hundred miles per hour and go oh, I should slow down She's not a car. She's a human Yeah, you can drive you can reverse the fist back. Yes But what's up with you? It's a lot. Yeah, you can drive. You can reverse the fist back. Yes.

But what's up with you? It's a lot of layers for her. She's she's glitching. I really like this. On my couch, I have blankets on the couch. I cover in blankets at my apartment has made a blanket. Wait, so is she on a blanket? I don't know.

She said there's a lot for me to digest. I need to think about it. And we're meeting up today. And I'm like, okay. And then we kissed and everything last night. And it was like, love it. Immediately off the rip when I saw her, I was like, I don't know how to,

like I asked just to be safe. Like, is it okay if I'm touching you? And she was like, yeah, I think so. But she was like touching me and like, he, oh, cute, cute. And I was like, okay, am I allowed to be he, he, cute, cute? But I like her because I feel like I can be like very weird around her. Good, that is have to be.

And we like communicate really well. Like even like, I do not feel comfortable doing this. Do this instead. And I'm like, yes. Yeah, that's great. I don't know. instead and I'm like yes. Yeah that's great. I don't know like when I really like someone I just want to like hug them and put my head on their chest and be like this is sufficient for me. You know but it's like I don't know so I said how I felt and she can say how she feels and I'll accept whatever result she gives me. Yeah I think that I

think that the long- long distance thing is fair. I don't think. A fair like, you mean as an issue. Like a fair boundary. No, it's a fair boundary because I got into long distance stuff before as an avoidant. I would get into them knowing that there really wasn't like an end game.

Yeah, that's the thing. That we could have fun in the moment and then whatever. I had an out, right? Yeah. But the person that I'm with now, it was long distance for what, like 10 months before we were like okay. But if there's no end goal to move together,

there's no, I personally can't do it. Some people can, but I can't. But is that what's your issue? Is your issue just that like I don't wanna be without someone so I wanna be able to do stuff with other people? Like I would be in a long distance as long as it was open? No, because I'm tired of just like, well I guess I'll just hang out with someone in Appleton.

Well that's what she's saying, yeah. That's what she's saying. Huh? You know like you were like, oh I want you to come on the road with me. Is it because you have a hard time, you know, like you were like, oh, I want you to come on the road with me. Is it because you have a hard time, you know, not being with someone from Appleton while she's somewhere else? Yes. OK. But also, I that was what you were saying.

Well, no, I don't want to spend my time with some stranger in Appleton. I'd like to spend my time with her. But you can't. So, OK. But I can spend my I can spend my time alone. Okay. In Appleton. So then what's the issue? The issue is if I'm with someone,

I wanna be around them all the time. I don't wanna be on the road alone going, I miss you, I wish I was there. Okay, yeah, that's different. It feels like impotent and shitty. But why is the road the issue versus like, issue? Because I travel every weekend. Because that's what you're doing all the time.

Like I'm on the road 47 weeks of the year. So you need someone travel every weekend doing all the time I'm on the road 47 weeks of the year so you need someone who's gonna be on the road with you if you're gonna be in a relationship with them well yeah because I can't that's also expensive to bring someone on the road well she makes good money I would take care of her okay like the way I see it is it's it's such a bad feeling being long distance and you can even live with someone and be long distance when you're on the road because you got to leave again and then you got to go, Oh, I miss you. And I wish you were here. I miss you too.

And then it's like you feel guilty for working. Oh, so you don't even want to like live with someone and be on the road. I could do long distance. I could do long distance if they came on the road with me like once or twice a month or like in between Weekends I would come here or they would come to me Bobby's calling excuse me my ex speakerphone Hi, you're on speaker so careful Ian Fiedans Jenna

What's that weird dick? I'm the gay guy. Wait, you have a fucking kick-pop dick, dude. What is his dick look like? Your dick hides in like a groundhog. Kick-pop in Starbucks. He's wrong. Like skinny and then big up top? Yeah, it's purple.

Oh, whoa. I have an aesthetically pleasing penis with a nice vein. Okay, got it. Did you call that a vein? That's the whole penis. What are you talking about dude? Anyway, are you guys, is that on camera? Yeah, do you want me to just call you after we're done? No, I'm on set shooting a movie, but anyway, um, yeah call me later. Thanks for letting us know, Bob. Are you feeling a type of way triggered after what Kalyla said about long distance relationships

needing to have an end game? That's just my personal. Oh yeah, I'm in like, I be staying long distance. Really? I fucking love it. You have stuff in between, right? We used to. Aren't you a little open?

We used to. Is this balls that you're ding ding ding-ling? Sure. We used to be, and now you're ding ding ding ling? Sure. We used to be a little tickle the ting and now we're back to long distance, but we're excluded. We've been monogamous for like four years now. Oh, you guys are monogamous. Yeah. But long distance. The long distance. It's been nice. I think I have to go

because we're not clear on our end game. I love the long distance. It's like I, but I also love our time game. I love the long distance. It's like I, but I also love our time together. And I do think that as far as an end game, there are many times when like we go, fuck, when are we going to have time to just like, just be us and live in the same house? And do you think that you would like that? I asked her this too recently. I mean, we went straight into living with each other like after the first two months 12 years ago, and I

Idea, I loved it right and to me that was such a green flag. I was like I love this He's so just simple and like his energy is so wonderful that I loved having him around I'm hearing this more and more though. I have friends in New York, two very successful professionals and they've been married for, they've been together for 12 years and they've never lived together. Not once. But I don't want to live with someone.

I want someone to like live next door to me. OK, very Frida Kahlo, right? Diego Rivera with a bridge. You want the house and then Kahlo, right? Diego Rivera. With a bridge. You want the house and then the bridge. Your lover's bridge. Well, look at Jay Moore and his wife Jeannie Buss. They live in the same building but in different levels. I get that.

That's cool. No, I want to sleep with you every night, though. You can have sleepovers. But I also snore. You also are the worst at sleeping, and I feel like you don't want to sleep with anyone. I love sleeping with him, though. I feel like I sleep.

Why don't you ever want to sleep with me? I don't. I'm, ugh. Wait, has she ever, have you guys ever slept together? It's been a long time. You guys are talking like. It's been a while. Like, Zs.

Well, is this a, I've slept with you a lot. Sleep is like, shh. We've slept a long time. But I don't move. Yeah. She stays, and you a lot. Yeah. But I don't move. Yeah. She stays and I stay with my thing and I don't move. The only thing that bothers me about sleeping with you is your iPad.

I can hear it all night. What do you hear? She keeps the TV on on her iPad if we're traveling. I, I, I, iPad and I watch my movies like the crown. Shut up. Disclosed on the lowest light and on, with subtitles so she doesn't hear me and she still it still bothers me. Even in a different bed when we were in Hawaii like four years ago I was sleeping with jewels

and Kaila will be like no I'm watching she falls asleep immediately but I get it you like it there now I do that. Where's the iPad? It has something has to be playing in the background or else I'm left with the demons in my mind and that's not a good recipe for a good night Yeah, I sleep with my iPad now next to me playing Ted lasso every fucking night and sometimes I'll wake up and it's like paused it's like stopped yeah, no and I'll just press play again, so I get it, but Yeah, I love a pod sounds like what I don't know

It just sounds like you would be on the whole time. You'd be like wondering how I'm sleeping and like wanting to know what my aurora ring scores were while I was asleep and checking my heart rate and being like, mmm, tell me more. Or like I'd be trying to go to sleep and you'd be like, play with me. Yeah, I do. When I used to have sleepovers with my best friend, she'd be like, okay, we're gonna play the quiet game and whoever can be quiet the longest wins.

Yeah, when I was sleeping with- That is such a disgruntled dad thing to do. We're gonna play the quiet game. That's what my best friend in second grade would say. When I'm sleeping with Aron, it's like, I fall asleep faster because he's there. If I wake up in the middle of the night, I just touch him and I'm like, I fall asleep faster.

You're co-regulated. Whenever I sleep with someone that I really care about, I wake up in the middle of the night and go, are you all right? Are you here? Oh yeah. Is that okay? I check his breathing. I go like this and check his breathing like in the middle of the night.

Yeah, it's psychotic. You guys, we have a topic on the board that I really want to talk about. Yes. Um, which is. Oh, excuse me. You see how he's telling her a secret. It came out of her mouth. That's awesome.

What? This is not we. This is our podcast. We own whatever you're saying. Yeah, we own it, trademark. You have to tell us. Oh, got it. What are they saying?

What, what? He said he wants to eat that pussy. Just kidding. I did say I wanted to eat that pussy. Whose pussy? Collectively. Yours. I thought you said Kailila, I was like yes. Lay him down, line him up,

and I'm gonna lick from the bottom to the top. Oh my God, so it's me. Yes. And then Jenna. Yes. And then little Esther. Yes. And then just one swipe.

And I'll be honest, I'd pay a lot of attention to the lower tier. I'd pay a lot of attention to the bottom. And then I'd move up to the top, and then Esther, respectfully, I would jump to Bobby. Thank you. I'd move up to the top and then Esther respectfully I would jump to Bobby Really scared when he was coming to your level she was like yeah, I could feel it We're here. We're like brothers. Yes, we are brothers. We are all brothers. What did you guys whisper?

Should we play telephone? Yeah. Oh, okay. Wait, telephone. She goes. She's not going to get off. You're not the switchboard. It goes around. I knew that she was not going to want to get off. Wait, wait, no, no, no. You got gotta go to them, so then it gets around See I knew Damn, you don't know how to whisper bitch. Yeah, really that was a yell What you're in front of the kid no no no to that to them no this is too much off-camera time Lala No easy on the whisper. Oh, oh, god. No, it's crazy. It's crazy Wait, did you lie or was it hello?

Because I had I was asking oh My god that was so she's an eye doctor That's how the telephone worked Hello, that's not what I heard. Okay. Wait, what's the topic? Wait, wait, what were you gonna say? Climbing I know me too. I will when am I not I Want to talk about? Family lore. I don't even know what lore means Where's like the legend like a story things that have been told to you by your grandma, your mom, your dad,

that you believe to be truth, but maybe we should explore whether or not they've been telling us the truth ever. Technically. Wait, okay. Go again for Laura. Laura's mythology story that has been passed down from, I'm sure the internet has Jenna Laura.

There's Collyda Laura, thereila Lord as Ian or as Esther Lore. For example, my dad, and no way to corroborate this, my dad firmly stated that he dated Jane Mansfield. Jane Mansfield was an iconic blonde around the time of Marilyn Monroe. I know who Jane Mansfield is. Jane Mansfield is a hottie. Right. Boombadi.

Right, and who was like, I think, Mariska Hargitay's mom, right? Whoa. So this is lore. This is lore that my dad said he, they had a thing. They dated for a little while. For how long? They were briefly in love.

Who knows? He was smacking up on Jane's man. We don't know. Was this something that my dad just... Did he say it? He said it. Yeah. He told you? Yeah and so one of the little tiny pieces of proof that he that I made like oh maybe that was true is because he was like oh I was really good friends growing up because my dad was like a millionaire European man, right? I was really good friends with Johnny Frankenheimer, who was a filmmaker.

And I was like, oh. Frankenstein. I've watched, you know. Frankenstein's monster. And I didn't believe this. I was like, there's something very like, tall tale about the things that he's telling me. Like I couldn't connect it because all I,

I just saw my dad as my dad And not this like playboy whatever but when he died the Frankenheimer sent their condolences So I was like oh he was not lying about that So now makes me think that he was maybe paid them to send the condolences or was fake I don't that doesn't really feel like the kind of thing that you would just randomly make up and tell your daughter. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. That is kind of a cool thing. Was your dad a con man? It's a cool thing. Yeah. Because she was like so iconic, right? Yeah. I mean she's the blonde in that famous Sophia Loren photo where Sophia Loren is like giving

side eye. Right, right. And every like it girl has recreated that photo in the last five years. Right. So that's Lore. I have no family, Lore, because all my family died before I was born on my dad's side, except for my dad. And my dad forgets everything.

He doesn't know anything about his childhood, so he'll just randomly make up a lie. And then I'll believe it for a day, and then I'll ask a question about it later. I'm like, wait, so what happened to your dog Rusty? He's like, oh, I made that up. Oh no. Yeah, so there's like, I have nothing. He's like, well, you know, before you were born,

an alien came down and I put him in a basket on my bicycle and he flew to the moon. Yeah. What? Yes. And then you ask him about that and he's like, you heard me? Me and my friends ended up finding a cave.

There was a man named Chester Copperpot and we got these jewels to save our family in Oregon. Collin, is your dad hot? What are these? Or was your dad hot? Yeah, he looked like, if you think Richard Gere is hot. Yeah. He's a hot guy.

What is this? He looked like Richard Gere when he was young. I thought these were candles. They feel real nice. Yeah, yeah, I noticed he looked like Richard Gere Right, but I mean like okay like mm-hmm. Oh my god would love to see a picture do it me six four So he was a tall And you guys have family lore no no I'm like everything that my family's doesn't like yeah Dead nothing that seemed a little bit like a tall tale where you're like, oh, my grandfather, they said that he was, he tried out for the Phillies and it was between him and like Larry Boa

and they chose Larry Boa because my grandfather was such a drunken drug addict. It was like, well, one of those is right. Honestly, I'm sure there is some shit that my family told me. I just don't listen. My grandma used to tell me about, because my great-grandfather was the funeral director

in their very small town. I know, it's so cool. My biggest flex. I get it now. This is incredible. Did you like Six Feet Under? I watched it recently when I was pregnant, and I thought it was, I liked the funeral element of it,

but I thought the show itself was like a little Too early 2000s like because it was early 2000. Yeah, Alan Baller. I actually really liked that show I rewatched it. I think I rewatch it right around the same time so This one smells like grape this This one smells like nail polish. This one smells like pet. I don't think this is an episode for us to talk. Let's do it. Let's play truth or dare. OK.

Fuck the lore. They started talking. She works in porn. You know how the way I said it was so much cuter? Oh, she was a porn girl. She's a porn girl much cuter. She was a porn girl. She's a porn girly. Yeah, she's a porn girl. We're allowed to say that?

Sure. The telephone reveal? OK. Are you sure you're allowed to? Because that's her business. I've asked her if it's OK to speak on podcast, but I won't say her name or anything. OK.

I respect that. Truth or dare? Good for her. Dare. Well, I think we're going to go sir. No, that's fine. OK. Let's let the little babies, the little monkeys. Yeah, good for her dare No, that's fine, okay Let's let the little babies a little monkey actually. I have a great there for Jenna She might not be down with it can't be I like germs

No, let me go to the car and get my blue chew give Ian your phone and he can call anyone Okay, call the most famous person on her phone. Oh my god. You see Got you have to tell me before you have to show me. Yeah, we're not gonna call the my pillow guy on air Here contacts He chooses my dad. Oh Let's call a nurse from dr. Hackett Let's go I know there are a lot of famous numbers in there yeah you know I don't think I have their names like I'm calling American Airlines right now oh let's call let's call fucking pick one here I'll be no I thought it

said dog shit it's a dog sit all right let's just do this here let me connect you. What if I call and it was like I'm in jail I need money. Here what? That's a famous one. What? Who? Who? Don't show her just call. Show me. Who? No we shouldn't do this. No no no. That's still his number. Wait, can't we say? Yeah, it's fine. It's Glenn Powell. Glenn Powell? We've had his number since we were like 15. Why do you know him?

Who's Glenn Powell? Endurance. She was on a Discovery Kids reality show that was like Survivor for Children. No way. Yeah. Are you serious? And I won, bitch. You did?

Well, actually I did. Pull that clip up. Wait, I didn't win the first one. There are such, there are crazy clips. Like when you look at me on TV as a 14 year old, wearing my hair this short, having a tie and suspenders. Did you have like a boogie shell necklace? What? Did they make you dress like a magician?

No, they did not want me to dress like that. Wait, was Glenn Powell on the show? He was on the first season. Glenn Powell was on Endurance with you? Yes, and he actually got eliminated the first day. I'm so sorry for saying that, Glenn. Yeah. Wait, someone said I look like Glenn Powell.

I think that's why he's been so successful, because he is like- I can tell you firmly, you do not look like Glenn Powell. And I mean this sweet with like love in my heart He's got this my Smiles going on. Oh, it's a little how was on endurance with you. Yes. What was he like? Well, he got eliminated the first day, but he was okay. Yeah, don't Glenn and talk about endurance He was dope. Oh, hey remember when we were on endurance? OK, I'm calling. I'm gonna see. Turn it up.

He's not pick up or be like, hello. I'm sorry, you do look like Glenn Powell. No, the way you looked into my soul and when I can tell you with all certainty in every fiber of my being you do not look like Glenn ugly little troll man, no, I think Quite frankly Glenn Powell is prototypically handsome, but you are a special my type My type says what she's saying is you look more like Bobby Lee. By the way, I fucked for 10 years.

So don't that is not a slam. So when are we going to start? You into mommies? Yes, yes, yes. You guys, it's no secret that Kaleila and I have been wearing skims for years. We love pretty much everything that they come out with. Their shirts, their bras, their underwear, sweats. We just love skims.

I don't know what's in the water, what's in the formula, but it just works. And today we're specifically talking about the push up bra. Now it's actually called the skims ultimate bra collection. Now I stopped wearing push-up bras because they would just bother me, they would not be comfortable. However, Skims really redesigned the push-up bra to make it comfortable, to make it flattering, and this is a push-up bra that Kalyla and I have both integrated into our lifestyles. into our lifestyles. The Skims Ultimate Push-Up Bra is soft,

it's comfortable, it's sexy, it's just a really great solid bra. Especially if you're traveling, it's like you got your comfy bra, you got your Skims Ultimate Push-Up Bra for each occasion. You can shop the Skims Ultimate Bra collection and more at skims.com.

After you place your order, be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show, Trash Tuesday in the drop down menu that follows. Okay, Ian, truth or dare? Me, next dare. What? What?

I have one in which Ian, you call somebody and say that it hurts when you pee and that you think you might have That's so funny cuz I got tested on Monday and I am fully negative with everything. Which one do you go to? Cutting edge test. Yes, baby. Yes performer panel. Yes I got everything panel just to be safe. Did she tell you to go there? Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes Girlies go it's amazing. Yeah, I'll call my mom and be like mom. Am I still on your insurance cuz I Look, it's um, it hurts when I pee and no not mom. I hate mom pranks I will not allow mom pranks, but if Ian my mom. My mom is already so anxious, I could never.

Yeah, my mom could might have a heart attack from that. Shh, shh. Shhh. Hey. Hi, mom. You could want to give me your new address? Yeah. Ian?

Yeah. When are you moving across the street from me in California, mom? How do you answer the call with that? Um, as soon as I get your that? It's Susan Ticartner AdCrafts. It's 123 Funtime Street. Ian and Gail forever, California. 90210. Hurry up, I'm all excited.

Did you call, Dave? No, not yet. Uh, yeah. But how do we say okay? Well, I'm not coming. Yeah. Well, I have a question. Yes.

Am I still on your insurance? Is there any way I could get your insurance to cover me? Because I. It's starting. It's starting to hurt when I pee and I think I might have picked up something.

No, there's no way I can get you on my insurance. I have Medicare now. Oh Okay, yeah cuz I uh I I think a couple months ago. I may have spent my time unwise Lee with one of the whores on the road and Amen you you better Just go no matter how much it cost on the road and I going up. I'm kidding, Mom, I'm kidding. Oh my God. I actually got tested the other day and I'm totally clean as a whistle. Can you believe it?

No, I cannot. Who's there? I'm with some of my friends. Oh, hi friends. Hi, mom. We told him not to do this. We didn't want to trick you because you're a sensitive mother.

We didn't want to stress you out. You know what? He's making me hard core. He does this to me all the time. I should know better. My mom came to visit for the first time. She stayed with me in my apartment and it was so stressful she ended up getting shingles.

Oh. It's true. Oh my gosh. Yeah, but mom, you have to admit, it was stressful. Yes, I clean, that was the stressful part. Yeah. That's what mom used to do. And I was going to, it was really cool.

We stayed up till four eating Chinese food, watching Seinfeld. Oh, really? And then I went to bed and she stayed on my couch because she refused to go into the basement and sleep in my spare room. And I tried to give her my bed and she wouldn't take it. So she slept on the couch and I could hear her tinkering around in my apartment,

moving things around like a squirrel. Oh. Are you her only child? Yeah. Oh. Are you kids only child? Yeah. Are you kids having fun? Yeah, we are. We love Ian so much. Ian is so amazing and so funny and talented.

And he's so kind and genuine. And you raised the best son ever. And he's a good communicator. Yeah. I do have to agree on that. He is a good boy. Well, thank you. Isn't that so nice, Mom? It is. I hear it a lot. I never get told.

Oh, that's nice. And we said all that because I do have to tell you I have AIDS. No, stop it! Would you get a grip? Get a grip! Alright, I gotta go. I love you, Mom. I'll call you later. I love you, Mom. Love you. It's the only thing I love you mom. I'll call you later

Okay, bye-bye Gail yeah, that was really nice you guys. Thank you. Oh my god She's so sweet. We love you about I want to invite her over while I'm going to sleep so she can tinker cuz that would Make me feel like it was just Tinkering moving things. Oh son of a bitch. I remember when I her over while I'm going to sleep so she can tinker, because that would make me feel like really comfy. It was just tinkering, moving things out. Son of a bitch. I remember when I went over to your place. Yeah. And I just heard a voice saying, come on in. Walked in to pitch black room and no one to greet me.

And I sat on a pile of laundry alone for 30 minutes just in That be right there We told our producer to let you in and he just didn't turn on a light or like anything And we had like I was like tower when she comes in she can hang out on the couch and like whatever there's water Is the fridge and he did none of that? The dark like my none of that. I'm like, oh my god. No, just in the dark, like. Oh my god.

Dude, I felt horrible. And knowing you, Kailila, like, you're like, I just have to do it. Yeah, I know you just. I'm not gonna say anything, I'm not gonna ask anyone, I'm not gonna text. Oh yeah, I would never dare inconvenience anyone. Oh yeah.

Three minutes and I'm like texting you, couldn't, sorry, couldn't make it, I'm outta here, I would be so, I would be so anxious. Dude, I had no idea about that and I'm so sorry. Oh no, it was fun. Yeah. It was fun. It was fun. It was so fun. Cause I was had no idea about that and I'm so sorry. Oh no, it was fun. Yeah. It was fun. It was fun because I was like,

God, this is so punk rock. This is so punk rock. Like look at me somewhere in, where do you live? Brooklyn. And somewhere in Brooklyn, someone's living room in the dark on a pile of laundry. Just. Cool, I was like, yeah, I'm hardcore.

Living the young white girl's American dream. Ah, yep. I was super pregnant yeah, hardcore. Living the young white girl's American dream. I was super pregnant, by the way. Hilarious, were you? We had no idea. I was so nauseous, like peak nausea, I was like in the dark, like I think I'm gonna die here. We had no idea.

That's one way to order. Wait, next dare. We hate that shit, like what? Next dare. Wow. So this is from the Patreon, there's a couple, if we wanna. Is it for me? Yeah.

This is not Truth or Dare, this is Oops All Da dares with Ian and Jenna all right truth truth no no we're doing dares home all right oh yeah there actually fine do them all spin the bottle I have one where you baby bird a banana into Ian's mouth on Instagram live okay okay you can't even get my mouth I don't care. What are we talking about? I get in your right? Huh? Yeah? I don't work Wait wait for what are y'all get it? By the way, this was their idea This was from a patron. Yeah, I know and I signed up for your page They yeah, I know and I signed up for your page

Are we eating it like We're supposed to eat it like Lady and the Tramp no no baby bird Yes, you have to I'm gonna puke okay, we need to do another one. I just bite it and put it in your mouth no whatever that's nasty it's already mushed yeah really you're gonna spit it in my mouth like yogurt I'm just gonna take a bite and yeah this is like a sleepover where like you end up getting molested because it goes that far they're like do it just just masturbate in front of us do it or we'll beat you up. This is your baseball team in sixth grade. Do I have to do it with my clothes off? Yeah.

No one said that. No one said that. Do it. All right, I like this, Levo. Oh my god, are you serious? Are you kidding me right now? Yeah, you gotta take off. Let's go.

Fun mountain. You can see through your... Fun mountain. You can see through it. God forbid! Lady... fucking Jesus Christ. Yeah! I did it! Give me another dare! Papa hungry!

Baby want more! Nom nom nom! See you guys? Now we're having fun! More dares! More dares! More dares! More dares!

Jenna, put your foot in the air as well! More dares! Quiet producer, sit on my lap and take your shirt off. What is that bra? I want that bra really good I think it's out from under oh my god lady What's the back look like little Esther's little pervy hands? I? Know that really was What is that bra? My precious. What is that panty? My wearing, hand me that. The way you cuff boobs. It's so gross.

Can I tell you something? There's nothing gross about this. It's like you're putting back inventory at like a Forever 21. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do look like an Amazon worker when you do this. She goes, okay, we got this here. You guys are missing the eyes oh The hands look one way, but the eyes look she's like this now see I can't do that

Because I'm a gentleman, so I'll just do this It's like well a big sister used to laugh when I'd fall down. You so sad. It's so funny to me. What? It's just the, it's like me and my little raccoon hands.

You did look like an old Italian sculptor. And then she feels, she goes like this on hers. It's so weird. That I understand. That's the bouncing your own boobs. No, after she touches mine. Maybe I should give. It's like immediate like this and she goes.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. She goes. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. I actually think I just found my calling. I think I should give all my friends breast exams.

Actually you would feel in mine that I have a lot of lumps in this one. I love how you're like, I just found my calling. You've literally been pitching this to us for years. I just wanna say I just found my calling. She's also been like, let me. You should be a boobologist. Yeah, a boobologist.

Should we start a clinic together? Yes, yes. Next stairs, next stairs. What would I do with a clinic? You could help with exams. Okay, Ian, you have to go around and smell everyone's breath? No, I just ate bananas. That's the worst fucking breath ever. I have bad

Next I don't what Okay, smell our Pussy look she's smelling her armpit preemptively thinking that's the next question I thought it was gonna be I have to smell your armpits. Yeah, it smell my armpits. Yeah, it's sweet. I literally bathed this morning. Oh wait, this is great. No, it's not. It's not great. Why? Because she probably didn't put deodorant on.

Can I tell you that I'm, I don't, I promise you, I'm not exaggerating, I don't smell great. It would be so funny if everyone lined up and I, it was like the Pepsi Coke challenge, but I had to tell whose pussy was whose That would be such a funny That I just started spotting I Got mine this morning. When did you get yours? I haven't bled in five days Well, you're yours gonna smell period. Oh, we can do that with our I'll shut my eyes and you guys Come up with armpit. Okay armpit. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Here. Hold on. Hold on. I have a

Blindfold I got a I got a bandana Okay, what kinks are you doing? I feel like you can't smell it through our clothes You got to like really get in there. You can smell mine through my clothes. Dude, can I say, I'm into, when I like someone, I'm really into armpits and like smells. This is like when Quentin Tarantino is in a movie and he's like, in this scene, we're, everyone's gonna be barefoot.

It's like, okay, director. I have to say, I recently ran into an ex and he had his nose real close to my underarm. I was like Get a gnome named norm Like how did he just how walking by that's oh I sat on a banana Okay, so then we have to pull it put it up to your armpits. No is no I mean Just lean back like that. Okay.

And we have to confuse. Oh, like I'm getting my hair clotted. Wait and no talking. No talking. Yeah, but I know it's gonna be gentle cause Jenna, cause they're gonna hear her giggle. Now we're gonna mix up. Shh, stop talking fucking idiots.

Okay, person one is going now. It'd be so funny if you guys got a homeless person put my ass up to their nose there That's Esther This is great. I did not expect this to be my Wednesday Hold on Wait more hold on Mm-hmm Wait, more? Hold on. Person two doesn't have a smell. But they are wet.

Okay. Person two has been working at a deli. I need clothes so I can't smell. Well, Jesus! Okay. I have to smell you. Person one was Esther. Person two was Kalylan.

Person three was Jenna. Describe each smell. Person one you could tell that they had showered. Person two was super sweaty which is what, or no, no, no. Person two was smelly and Kalyla said she had smelled. And then person three was super sweaty and Jenna was like I'm sweating.

And I think that's what it is. I hate you I don't like you anymore. I showered and I have a clean shirt on. But you didn't put deodorant on. I smell as soon as I get out of the shower. Yeah. If I don't put deodorant on. That's normal. Do you have deodorant on? Like, barely. Kaila doesn't have deodorant she doesn't ever smell

Yeah, I mean, but who was person three. I like that one the most Person two was strong, but had a good personality Wrong with my body nothing nothing nothing is wrong with your body. You just don't put deodorant You showered and you didn't wear deodorant. That's it. I put- I smell within two minutes. I promise you. I think the reason you thought I was showered is because I put my boyfriend's men's deodorant on this morning in a rush. So I wear women's deodorant.

Let me smell. So it smells like men's deodorant, Esther. Yeah, it does. Right? I think you have a really cute smell. It's- I'm not even kidding. It's peal to peal. Time to deodorant. We've talked about this. I think you have a really cute smell. I'm not even kidding. It's, it's, we've talked about this.

That's not what Ian said. It definitely smells like body odor, but it doesn't offend me. By the way, how about this? How about this joke's on you? He smelled what I smell like and he thought it was you. It's true. So you look like you smell bad.

I look like I smell bad. This could be true. You actually do not look like you smell bad. Yeah, that's what's true. So you look like you smell bad This could be true. I you actually do not look like you smell bad And I think it's because I look like big back and athletic that maybe I look like I'm like a sweaty disgusting Be you look like you've been doing the haka all day But also also chronically sweaty, so I look like I. But also the only reason he thought that it was. Cause I had prefaced it by that. Because you were like, I really smell.

Yeah. And Jenna was the last one. Yeah. That was sweaty. But what did it smell like? It felt the most closest to a pussy. It felt. But I'm saying what it is.

Was that what you were grading us on? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What did it smell like? We weren't putting our pussies to your face. No, but the last person really laid it on there. Yeah, because you were like, I can't smell it. I couldn't, I couldn't. I can't.

You guys were like holding them far away and you weren't wafting even. I put that shit up on you. Oh, we forgot to waft. That's a thing, a sommelier. I don't need to waft No, you know they can smell it in the other room Oh lord. You can smell it in the 405

That's why there was traffic Okay, okay, this is mean. We probably we can do like one more dare maybe. Does anyone have hair sanitizer? Ian and Jenna have to swap clothing. That's hilarious. Great. Cool. On camera or off camera? Yeah, on camera.

Ooh, they're out. I'm trying to be a gentleman and not like look. Let's do a round of truth about that. My head is so small. Like if I wear that this way, good night. Goodbye and good night. Here, ready? That's cool actually. No, be like for real. Don't like vamp it up. That looks good. One of them is... It seems like I've seen this look for 15 years. Okay, this is getting a little serious. Okay. Oh boy.

What's the least favorite thing that people know about you? What do you mean? That you're like known, like a story that you've told or a thing about you that you regret. Oh. I think I was too open about my sexuality too early and I feel like I'm very much judged and looked upon as a joke because of that and I don't like that. Wait do you mean like open just

publicly like in the comedy community or like with fans or? In general on podcasts I like really bled my life out I think too early and I think that's... I can really relate to this and I really empathize because I think in the beginning of podcasting we thought that we could just lay it all out there and that people would sort of just like Listen and love it. Yeah, also bite you in the ass But also by the way when we tell the stories there is for at least for me It's an exaggerated version of that. And it's never the truth.

We say it in a way that's either, and my problem is I've said really serious things with a very flat affect, or in a room full of people laughing. Or something that wasn't that serious with a serious tone. But also it's like there's a level of embellishing there. I totally...

And that sucks because I just want to say it was I thought it was so cool that you came out and did that and like made like talked about it openly. Well, I appreciate that. But it's like you're also looking at, you know, 10 years of discussing it and like getting on the top of it and being able to to express it in like a fun way. But I basically came out on stage as I was in tandem with my personal life. So I was processing this stuff publicly

and saying things in a way that maybe I should've kept private. And then to this day, people hold it against me. They're like, oh, this is coming from the guy that sucks women's dicks. This is coming from the, just commenters. We're like, dude, even for a while in green rooms or comics being like, damn, I didn't know

we're out here sucking dicks. Well, that's not. It's just so weird. That's misogyny and homophobia. Sexism. It's just so weird that someone's, anyone's sex life matters. Yeah.

I don't even get that. It does matter. And whether we want to act like it does it or not, it does matter. And people have an idea in their head. But it wouldn't matter to you. Right. But there is a level of judgment there, especially when your community or fandom is like this alpha whatever. So anything that deviates away from that is looked upon is like, oh, that's so

terrible. And then it's like, oh, that's so terrible. And then it's like, well, you know, it's easy to sling arrows once you open that door because you're seen as like weak or whatever, because you're in the man. And it's like this albatross. And I just kind of wish I had waited longer and been more precious with where I spoke about it instead of just bleeding it out on, but also I was asked about it everywhere I went, so I was like, okay, and I wish I had stronger boundaries

and stronger resolve to go, no, I don't wanna talk about this, but if I'm being honest, I was a young comic and I was desperate to be liked and I was desperate for a joke and a laugh, and a fuckin' oh man, oh cool, I'm here, I'm there. And it's like, I got asked, and I answered, and I shouldn't have, and I shoulda held more to the chest.

And there are things I keep close to the chest, like I call my mom joke joke, but like I never discuss deep personal things, like about my childhood with like my dad or like her anything like I keep that very private and even like I'll speak on the surface of like oh this is happening with this girl but like I'm not gonna go into details about my like intimate relationships. Taking the words right out of my mouth I think that my biggest regret is talking about things in a surface jokey way about something that is

like a true trauma in my life. Also underestimating that we're here talking and it goes out into this ether that we are unaware of. It feels so intimate. And you're giving them bits and pieces and not the whole story. People run with it. My biggest regret is talking about my stepdad's son in a very flippant way because I thought that oh we're just gonna make light of something like tragic and no one knows like the full story and all they've taken out of it oh she fucked her brother which is by the way my most

painful thing that I hear on the internet is, she fucked her brother and then he killed himself. Like, do you know how much that pains me? Because that is Roger, that is my stepdad's son. The truth is, I made the mistake of never telling the story correctly because I'm in a room full of people and I have 20 seconds to say something interesting and funny and that wasn't the place

to ever talk about that. Right. Here's the truth of how that went down and in a serious way. This isn't going to be funny at all because I just really want to like clear the air because I have so much like regret and pain over this idea of anyone talking about my stepdad's son this way. Him and I were best friends about my stepdad's son this way. Him and I were best friends for a year. My mom and my stepdad did not know each other, were not associated with each other, were not dating. Him and I were just friends.

We smoked weed, we did a lot of things. We were friends, friends, friends. He saved my life. When I tried to take my own life, he called his dad and said, "'Something is up with Kalyla., I don't know what it is, but can we go drive over to her place and check on her? By the time they came over, I had already OD'd.

And Roger, my stepdad, my history, my high school history teacher, took me to Huntington, where they pumped my stomach, I had a lot of seizures, I ended up at Children's Hospital for a week and was put into a 51 50 hold that turned into a month long stay in a psych hospital. Years pass. After that, I go to college.

My mom and my stepdad start to date my friend and I lose contact. There's like years and now I'm like, oh, is this person now going to be like my stepbrother? But there's a big gap there. It wasn't like we were step siblings and then we like hung out and had sex or whatever like that. Like we knew each other and then years fast forward, my mom and Roger get together, right? And then years fast forward, my mom and Roger get together, right? And during that time, he was really, really struggling with his mental illness. And I was in college. And one day I get a call from my mom.

And she says that, I have to tell you something. Are you alone? Are you sat down? And I said yeah and she said that this person killed himself and this was a person who saved my life, who saved my life and who listened to all of these horrible like pains that I had as a teenager and yeah we lost contact because I left in Nevada to go to college and I was in so much pain over it that I did not go to his funeral. I had so much shame that maybe he had seen that I had attempted to take my own life and maybe it planted a seed in his. And I saw the pain in my stepdad who was still my stepdad to this day.

and I saw the pain in my stepdad who was still my stepdad to this day. He found his son at home in his bedroom. And the fact that the internet has like, this has been a sore part of my life that I have flippantly just talked about with so much stupidity and never telling the whole story and the fact that people have gone on to be like you fucked your brother and he killed himself do you know how painful that is for me to hear because this is like a real tragedy in my life that the person who saved mine lost his life you know and I'm sorry a little bit okay can I say one thank you so much for sharing that and telling that story and I'm so wanting to jump in. Can I hug you with it okay? Yeah I don't want to hug you um because I have a kid now and I just think about like Roger losing

his kid. But Kaila I have something seriously like to say to that which is that podcasting and similar to stand up like that is your creative outlet and a way I literally relate to this so much because I have relatives that have lost their lives and I have literally gone on to do stand-up making fun of that situation. I made a mistake and I know where I made a mistake and I'm embarrassed that I- I know that you feel that way but in that moment you were coping with humor with something traumatic and that is the most relatable thing for anyone especially people in comedy. Someone like me that laughed at laughed my whole way through my grandfather's funeral, told jokes about my

grandfather dying, about my cousin dying. These are things that weren't broadcast on podcasts so I don't have the mean comments to remind me all the time, but I'm just saying don't hate on or judge yourself for the way that you flippantly said it funny in a moment because that is a way of coping, that is a way of processing. Who doesn't when something really bad happens, laugh it off to make it not hurt. Like what you did is such a normal reaction. You did nothing wrong. But I understand how you feel now, but I just, I wanna go back and tell you like,

it's okay that you did that. And we did it. And we're not like, I'm not just trying to be nice when I agree with you either. There is literally nothing wrong. And even if you did it again, I would say you didn't do anything wrong. Like you are coping with something

the wrong is the way that people extract things and then attack. There's nothing wrong with anyone sharing on their own platform, how they cope with things or not telling a full story. You don't think every comedian we know take something painful and use it to go for a laugh. That's I just want to know when you were 51 50, did they give you a gown that looked like mine? They don't.

They don't. By the way, I've been 51 53 times. Yeah, so internet, consider the source. Unreliable source. By the way, this is exactly what the counselor at that place thought. She's an unreliable source. So I ended up dating one of the counselors from the psych hospital.

Hilarious. Because who's gonna believe me, but. We really met at the wrong time. We met. We could have really been something. No, we would have not been, we wouldn't be alive. We would have burned it to the filter. Oh my goodness.

I was a disaster, but I think my pain comes from feeling that I disrespected this person and that I disrespected Roger, my stepdad. I know how close you are with Roger. I've talked to Roger and I've talked to you about Roger. I know that he is like, I actually had never put it together that that was his son and I'm in shock over this. I just had no idea because you always say crazy stuff and I just like laugh because it's so crazy.

I can't imagine how much pain you must be in over this because I know how important those people are to you. Yeah. And I hope that you cut yourself some slack because. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. It exploded in my hand because I was twisting it. You got too nervous. It got too tense.

She popped the thing open. Yes. But just give yourself grace, please. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate that. I was also just going to say you were in rooms with huge comedy people and Bobby was your boyfriend. And of course, you exaggerate the people pleasing all of that. Like, I will take I will honestly, though, thank you for saying that. But I really want to hold thank you for saying that,

but I really wanna hold myself accountable for just like, you know, not being better about the way I delivered some things in the past for sure. I don't think it's holding yourself accountable. It's if you're choosing that you want to change the way you deliver information, then you can, but it's not holding yourself accountable

in a way that like you did something bad. People that listen to podcasts all the time have this idea of us that is not based in reality, so they're putting their bias on how you talk and what you would and then they develop these friendships with these people that don't exist and then they get mad that you're taking away from this person talking when they're just listening to hear their friend in their mind and then they people that listen have lives that they could never imagine being public people's number one fears public speaking so they're putting their bias of like why would they ever share that they can't how would they and they don't understand the the pressure and the stress and the the feel of the room and what's going on and xyz

And to them they would never so they put their stink on it and then judge you for that when it's like you couldn't fucking Do you can sit here and and dive? Oh, we're doing and and we probably couldn't sit and do your fucking job So don't fucking yeah us and Monday morning quarterback everything we're doing and then make it your identity and totally make it out like you're, you know, some, like there's nothing gayer than being a catty, gossipy guy podcast, man.

It's crazy to me that these motherfuckers talk about other men all day long and get defensive about their Friend that they think they have in their head You're a pathetic fucking loser and you think you're entitled to us and your idea of who and what we are when we were just giving you a snippet of The existence that we're sharing and we're totally different and we're playing things up and the fact that they can't realize that is very frustrating Yeah, it's like read the fucking room. But at the same time, it's like we did, well, I didn't expressly sign up for this when I

started, just kind of turned into this. Right, right. But it's like, you know, you say things and then you're like left with it and you're like, what the fuck? I'm really glad you're starting to like come forward with things that you've been feeling a long time and that you've been dealing with. You know, I'm glad that you're starting to sort of like share with us and everyone, like how these things

make you feel and how they've changed you. I just think it's really interesting because for so long you've sat and not said anything, which is also fully a great response too. But I think this is really interesting for everyone to have you come forward. Yeah, no, it hurts. I have gone off on comments for years and then I realized like,

No point. No, they don't get it. Like in Kaila's defense, I've been like, I am her friend. I know that this is not true because I've done that too. And people don't. No, you can't, you won't win that. And they don't want, they don't

No, they actually want to fight you. Yeah, they don't want you to win is what I'm saying. But like, you know, like Jay Morris says, like you're shaking your fist at like an institution, so large, so big, you're never gonna win. So it's like, you know, make your peace with it. Yeah. The way I had to reframe it as like,

the internet is like WWE, it's not real life. It's some of the- It's for entertainment. Like this is not- You just gotta touch grass, look at the people around you, and that's what's real. You just gotta go touch grass, eat ass. I mean, what else is there to do?

Yeah, they've got a t-shirt. Put it on a shirt. Put it on a shirt. Touch grass, eat ass. Speaking of shirts, somebody stole my, I had this joke, I ended my special with it, and I had shirts that says happiness is like 9-11. It's an inside job.

And someone showed me a shirt that has that with the twin towers on it, and a plane with a smiley face on it. And they took my fucking thing. It's like, what can you do? You know, have it, you fucking piece of shit. Sluggies, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode but wait there's more.

Jenna will be twerking at the 7-Eleven on La Cienica. For free, no tips. Jenna will be now dressing like 1999 Fred Durst from Hero and Out. Fred Durst, I'm just kidding. Yeah, there it is. Ian, are you on tour? Yes. I have my pit stop deodorant, all natural.

Smells great, you should smell Esther now and see if there's been a change. I will take your word for it. And you can get it on bytea Jenna.com or go to my Instagram, Jennaju Menez, and follow the link, figure it out. No, smell her now and see if it changed. I have ebotionclub on Instagram and ebotionclub.com.

I still have your shampoo and conditioner and I use it. You like it if you do hair-growing? And I think of you in the shower. conditioner and I use it. Do you like it when you do hair curling? And I think of you in the shower. Oh, I like that. Wait, do you have any shows or anything? Yes, yes. Ianfightdance.com for all my tickets and dates. I'm on the road

basically every weekend until the end of 2025. I'm going everywhere. Charleston, South Carolina, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Ottawa, Indianapolis, Chicago. Man, oh man, oh man. Why are you there? EandFightDance.com though.

EandFightDance.com. iAnimal69, follow me on Instagram. Join my YouTube page where all my standup is going and I have a travel show that's coming out where I go to different towns and I do people's jobs. They teach me how to do jobs and I do their jobs. It's called E and Do, an odd guy doing odd jobs. Can I pitch you a couple jobs? I would fucking love that I'm out of the time of my life. I just cut hair in Rochester, New York

I learned how to tattoo in Wisconsin wait. I did really the same person yeah I'm terrible, but I'll do it okay. I got a couple things We I really yes to everything too, and I have the most random side jobs in the world. It's the best I'm going on tour with my friends band. I'm gonna be a roadie. I'm in Addison July 18th to 20th and Chicago, Illinois August 14th to 16th at Zanies amazing. Thank you guys so much. We love you. Thanks for sticking around. That was a wild ride. See you guys next week.

That was, it's a wild ride when you're being Ian. Every Wednesday on YouTube. That was really fun, thank you. I hope this doesn't smell so much like pussy in here. I would be blessed. Oh, okay.