Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - No Holes Barred w/ Mandii and WeezyWTF

Episode Date: June 24, 2025

Mandii and Weezy flew in from NYC, stopped in our studio & ya’ll: we. weren’t. ready. This was  way too fun & coulda gone on for hours. Topics include: Zedd’s tragic impact on Weezy, kid-less airplanes, being labeled as who*res for eternity, tropical threesomes, and the feminine urge to put a broke a** man on a pedestal. Go buy Mandii & Weezy’s new book No Holds Barred out TODAY!!! JOIN THE WEIRDEST PATREON EVER: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS: IQ BAR Text TRASH to 64000 to get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, plus FREE shipping. Message and data rates may apply HELIX Go to helixsleep.com/trashtuesday for 27% off site wide *Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com*Visit Ebb Ocean Club & Holiday Shop* https://www.ebboceanclub.com/for Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products! FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesdayTiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonsterInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/ MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A  PRODUCTION:Production Team: Tiny Legends, LLC:  https://www.instagram.com/tinylegends.prod/Stella Young: https://www.instagram.com/estellayoung/Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/Edited By:Arielle Jade: https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/  

The smell matches the name. It does. Yeah. It's like you, you, she, so Asian. I'm Asian. You are, Mandy? Yeah, I tell everyone because I like sushi so much. Japanese. Oh, Stella. You know, because that's what sushi is from.

In case you didn't know. Well, also, I lived in Singapore for six months. So I say I'm Southeast Asian. No, wait, we gotta talk about Singapore. Oh, yeah, let's do it. Because I was born and raised in Southeast Asia. Oh, shut the fuck up. I'm Filipino.

Girl, that's like my second home. But we're really poor compared to Singapore. Oh no, Singapore is like the Europe of Asia. Filipino, yeah. Singapore was nice. I feel like LA is the Philippines. Okay. Whoa. You know, there's the Philippines. Oh, you know what is the Bay LA like?

Yes. Any black girl I know that got a little bit of a slay. Like my mom is. Yeah, I know. We know. Will you introduce our guest? Of course. Oh my God.

It was going. Hi slugs. It's your girl with a mouthful of raisins and walnuts. Here to tell you, I have a stand-up show in LA, Friday, June 27th at the Comedy Store. You can get tickets at the link below. I'll see you there. It's been real.

Well, we have a Patreon, and it is, I'll say it, it's popping off. And it's juicy, juicy, juicy. And we have a Patreon and it is, I'll say it, it's poppin' off. And it's juicy, juicy, juicy. And we have full episodes there. We're talking current events, pop culture, all the stuff we don't get to on the full episodes. And our Patreon is growing and we love our Patreon slugs. You guys can join and get instant access

to all the backlogged episodes. So if you wanna have like a little binge and then a new thing every week, you can go to patreon.com slash trash Tuesday podcast or click the link below and shout out to our golden slugs Brandon and Thomas And if you're a hater, we also have a hater tier. Oh, yeah You guys I can't even begin to tell you how long we've been trying to make this work I know and so I'm super excited to have funny girls I know. And so I'm super excited to have funny girls,

perts, hot New York girlies, podcast queens, writers. They've been on HBO, BET, Viceland, our friends Mandy and Weezy from Decisions Decisions. Thank you. Thank you. That was good. They were like, we know shit they're on BET. We know.

Surprisingly, that was not the first channel we were on. You know, it was HBO. That was the first one we did. TVWise. Oh, I thought it was Vice. We did Vice on HBO. Oh, that's right. And then we did Viceland. Vice got weird. Vice got broke. Yeah, got super broke. Vice went bankrupt.

That was a channel that needed to stay. And then the whole woman was flying the male talent and her PJs playing with their parents. Oh, that's the tea? Sackbox came out and said it. Wait, so because my friend, my Eddie. You didn't hear the tea? My bad, we are starting this episode up.

No, so no, my friend is Eddie Wong. Oh, okay. And so he wrote this whole thing about Vice is broke. And I was like, oh, because he used to be like Vice Golden Boy, right? Well, no, that was Zezas Amaro. Oh, that is true. Yes, you're right, you're right.

You know? Yes. And then they left to Showtime. Actually, Bronson was on Vice too, right? Yes, he was. And so was 2 Chainz, and they lost 2 Chainz. GQ ended up picking up his show. Crazy, a lot of stars came out of Vice though. Yeah, we were actually supposed to like make a show with them

and develop it at one point. Great, wasn't it $800? The budget was, oh, hold on. Wait, wait, wait, no glam, it was bad. No glam? This was before they announced they were going broke. Even a YouTube and we're like considering the shit. Like should we just do it for the exposure?

Oh wait, cause yeah, this was like 2018, 2019. I don't blame you because the idea of being on Vice is so cool and. My mom just wanted the mug. Like my mom was obsessed with Vice. It's interesting you just said it's so cool. And my mom just wanted the mug. Like my mom was obsessed with vice. It's interesting. You just said it's so cool. We I was having a conversation.

I have a TV show at views and we were talking about brands known for being cool, but that don't make moves. And one of the guys was like, yeah, like think about vice. When someone's talking about vice, you think not only TV, but you're like, oh, media, cool documentary. You're thinking article. Like they were really really cool. You also know the style right away They fucking really fucked that up, you know I was fucked it up and I could say I love them because I've worked with them

I ended up hosting a dating show on MTV and MTV is like Oh my god, it's MTV the logo was behind me I said, yes. And now they they're literally one of the networks that, of course, got sucked into the whole Paramount, Viacom umbrella. But they weren't able to keep up digitally. And then I was like, wait, what about room readers and all the shows we loved? They had digital content. Girl code felt digital.

Right. And it really did. The crazy thing about what MTV and how they, I guess, with licensing now, streaming and all the things. So this is what I heard. All of the shows back in the day, like the 90s and early 2000s on MTV, when they made the shows, y'all remember how they used to like, everything had music?

Well, no one edited it with the stems to remove the music. And so now the cost to put those shows on any of the streaming platforms would be so much because you have to pay for the licensing of all those songs. And it's like fucking Blink 182, probably Beyonce. Beyonce don't let her music go anywhere. So those shows can't go anywhere

because it would be so expensive to put them on. Yeah. Well, you know, Little Esther almost had a reality show on MTV. Oh wait, I need to know what was this. Wait, can I guess what it was? Yeah. Wait, you know, Little Esther almost had a reality show on MTV. Oh my God. Oh wait, I need to know what was this. Wait, can I guess what it was? Yeah. Wait, yeah.

I feel like it wasn't dating, was it? No, it wasn't dating. Okay, was it something with like friendship? Yeah. Wait, that's so sad. Oh, God. No, no, no, I just meant like, I felt like it, you give me like, I don't know,

I could just see you on a reality TV show doing shit fun with friends. That's what it was. It was literally, so it was about me being a stand-up comedian and my friend group. We did two pilots and then the head of the network got fired and it didn't end up going well. Damn, I did a pilot for MTV too.

It was for a show that was called Ghosted and it was something that burned me but I never forget it. Alex was actually the person that was called Ghosted. And it was something that like burned me, but I never forget it. Alex was actually the person that got me over my depression. So they flew me out to LA. I did this pilot for a show that was like Catfish, but when you get ghosted, so you gotta go find the person that ghosted you.

Oh my God. And I was like, damn, this is gonna be fun. I'd be mad as hell. If I ghost you, stay the fuck away. I know you're cheating. No, I don't. If you pop up, I would be like, now you embarrassing yourself.

Cause you know why I like it? I was like, this is kind of like cheaters and cheaters was my shit. Go in the house and find that bitch. And that's what I wanted to do. So they ended up going with Dreya from basketball. Dreya, yeah. The show never came out.

I was so depressed. I was like saying to one of the casting people, why, what does she do so I know for next time? They said, actually, everyone liked you better. They just wanted someone with more followers. And I remember crying and I was like, damn, well, I never get there. And Alex was like, you'll have a TV show

by the end of the year, you'll be fine. And I did, and it was my own and it's still going. And that one never came out. And it's crazy because you look at these names of these networks like they're God. When in reality, Tubi's making hella bread. Like, aren't they? I thought Tubi.

Oh no, Tubi's, girl we just got flewed up by Tubi. They had a little check. They do glam? They paid enough to, the honorarium covered enough for glam. We had first class flights. First class flights. What?

Rooms, and they gave us a flight for a guest. So I flew my boyfriend in with me. Oh, I forgot about the guest flight. Oh yeah, we had a whole extra guest flight. We had a suite, transportation. I was like, oh, what's up, Tubi? Hey, Tubi. Black heart.

I don't know if y'all know this about Tubi. I don't wanna say this respectfully. Don't say it, cause want to work with 2B. No, no, no. I'm being so serious. OK, so I thought it was just like good movies. You know what I'm saying? It's not.

And then I was hanging out with my white friends and she's like, oh my God, let's see what's on 2B. And I'm like, you watched 2B? And then she was watching like Santa Claus, like old episodes of Paris and Nicole. And I was like, hold on. Paris and Nicole is on Tubi. When I say to life, it's a simple life.

The thing about Tubi, they're like this channel that has also like streamed and partnered with Mad Other channels. So I forgot what the what the name is called, but there's something now to where a show can be streamed not only on Tubi, but there's like six to ten other like independent quote unquote apps and they're all like a universe. So like mad stuff is on Tubi. That what she's saying.

So my show is on Fuse. That's who produces the show, but you can get it on Prime, Roku, and probably Tubi. So basically Tubi just has everything and I'm sitting here thinking Tubi only makes movies. And I was like, oh, so there's a stripper tail and also high production. Yeah, it's crazy. I love it.

Wait, I wanna get back to the ghosted show. What is considered ghosting? For me, ghosting is totally appropriate. Me too, girl. Look, she said, hmm. I think it's dependent on. She's like, I need you to tell me to my face that you're done.

Was it one date, two? Yeah, like I reserve the right to be like, you know what, I don't wanna explain to you why I didn't like you. Because people don't know how to receive it. I could just like fuck off. But it so depends on like what came before the ghosting. Cause let's say we had like six great months.

To you. Okay, that's not ghosting. To you. Wait, that is though. That's a thing. Six months? People do that and do. That's what that show is about. What are you thinking? I'm thinking like a date or two. One date, that is though. That's a thing. Six months? People do that. And do.

That's what that show was about. Hey, what are you thinking? I'm thinking like a date or two. One date or two. Oh girl, no, that don't count. Yeah. You don't even have to explain that. Was your dick in me?

If your dick was in me, you need to tell me why you don't want this again. And don't. Like, and that to me. I could have had my face in your ass. Don't want it there anymore. Don't have to tell you why I don't want your ass in my face anymore.

But your tongue could be in the hole. Don't have to explain to you. Could you at least honk the horn and be like, hey, this is over without giving an explanation? Ghosting is no explanation. Yes, people are just pushy for more. Yeah. I tried that once and then I wish I ghosted.

Sorry, he's really just anxious today. It's okay. I ain't gonna hold y'all. Shout out to all three of y'all with these dogs. Y'all may as well push a human being out your coochie. This is why I have a cat. He at the house, sleep, got his little box, food is spread out, water fountain going.

He good. No, no, no, no. When people ask me, how old is she? I be like, well, I had her in 2021 May. And then people are like still confused. I'm like, yeah, 12 hours of labor. I don't give a fuck. That is my child. I'm someone that doesn't want kids at all.

And the reaction for me from men is, well, then you're wasting your time here on earth because you're supposed to be bringing life to this earth. The reception and the perception of Mandy, I think when she talks about not wanting kids. I don't even like them. It puts us at this weird thing. It's so weird.

When I hear them on the plane, when are they making the childless flights? Mom paid a couple more dollars. Like, moms would too. Even if they don't make noise, then they're just in the back of your seat and I just feel them. And I'm just like, ugh.

Like, when I walk into stores, it's just like, ah, like I, when I walk into stores, it's just like, why are they here? Like, don't they have to be in school? I'm confused why they're never like, why are they around? Like we were talking about when I was like living in Asia and I went to Bali and I was like, why are their kids here? Like people brought their kids to Bali, they're not gonna remember it.

Like why are there a two year old in my pool? You know, it's funny is that of all the places to take a baby, it's Southeast Asia. Why? Because everyone loves babies there. And then they, it's so communal. So if you ever have a baby, travel to Southeast Asia, they will take your baby for you.

They'll walk that baby around. They'll babysit. It's like, it's so, I'm supposed to hear. My partner is Nigerian. He's like, first of all, I have a hundred cousins. We're never getting a babysitter. I'm like, we never getting a babysitter? I want. That's what I want. My partner is Nigerian, he's like, first of all, I have 100 cousins. We're never getting a babysitter. I'm like, we never getting a babysitter? I want a nanny girl.

I know you want an all pair. Honey, you know. I'm just gonna get out. One that can also maybe suck your man's dick from time to time. No, no, no. I want cute, ugly, and I mean cute nanny, like hot nannies that like we go out on date night

and then we come home and she's like, what you guys did? What you would, she's, we're very anti-hot nannies. Oh, yeah, I will know. Oh, y'all are anti-hot nannies? like we go out on date night and then we come home and she's like, what you guys did? What you would, she's, we're very anti-hot nanny. Oh yeah, I will know. Y'all are anti-hot nannies? I wanna fuck the nanny, sorry, that's it. But then I want an ugly nanny for when I need to go work so she could supervise when my man is too tired.

Like you having a hot and ugly nanny. They're gonna know also. Can we talk about nanny ethnicity and why it's important? Yeah. Caribbean nanny? South America? I need that Caribbean nanny in your fundamental years. Okay, so basically what's in my head, right? Caribbean nanny is like right when my kids at school and someone starts saying fuck and

they're learning bad words, I need that Caribbean nanny. Like I want you to beat them, beat them, but give them a little something. Then I want a really nice, like not, there's two types of Latino nannies, right? You've got the one that's hardcore and the one that's super soft, anything you want. Get your kid fat. I need that one right at the ages of like zero to one.

Then I kind of want like the Russian cunty bitchy nanny. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I had one of those and let me tell you, that's a source of my trauma. The way this bitch fed me carrots. Wait, why was she feeding you carrots? Because she made chop suey and she didn't cook it right and she would just jam it in my mouth and I would puke

and she would jam more issues. That sounds like a kink. Her name was Maribel, oh, scary bitch. That's not the name I thought for the Russian nanny, but okay, I was thinking Maribel, that's what I want zero to two. But yeah, like I, you know, living in New York, you see especially Upper East Side,

any wealthy neighborhood, you are going to see a black woman and a baby or a woman that speaks Spanish with a tiny little white baby. Like you're just gonna see it. Like go to a park in the day. Oh my God, United Nations, baby. Like that's nanny land. I love talking about this Like go to a park in the day. Oh my god United Nations, baby That's nanny land. No, I love talking about this because I'll never have to worry about it Like I literally like one of the the chapters in the book

I talk about my abortion and in talking about I was like, hey, it was just a dot a part of like having a Having an abortion like there's these narratives that oh my god You live with the regret and the guilt for your whole life. Haven't thought about it till writing the book. Honestly, like I feel like my whole life would have been different had I had a kid at 16 years old. I absolutely agree with you.

So I am very open about the multiple abortions I've had initially when I was 19 and then later on when I was in a long-term relationship. Oh wow. And most people don't talk about those. I love that talk while people are married and in a long-term relationship. Oh, wow. And most people don't talk about those. I love that talk while people are married and in a long-term relationship. Yeah, I mean, I was with Bobby Lee for a decade.

We were financially able to support a child. There was all the things that maybe from a distance, you would be like, okay, that makes sense. She's pregnant. Why not have the kid? I just, number one, there's many layers to it, right? Number one, I wasn't ready. I was going through a heart condition.

And like, there was a lot of things like relationally that was just not adding up for me and I just didn't feel ready. And I think that there is, you're right. There's a perception that, oh, like I absolutely regret not, I have a baby now and I still think those were correct decisions for myself. I love that.

And I don't like, of course there's always a wondering. Now that I have a baby I'm like, oh shoot, like I would have had an 11 year old or this and that. But I just know for a fact that when it happened I felt sure. And the only mistake I ever made was raw dogging the abortion. By that I mean I didn't take, because I was really afraid of my heart condition at the time.

I, yeah. I did not, I did not take anything. You know you can opt for like a Twilight abortion where you get some type of like relief. Sedative or whatever. I got that. I was like, how long is it gonna last? They were like, at most a vacuum one minute.

Yeah, literally. I'm like, okay, I'll white knuckle it were like, at most the vacuum one minute. Yeah, literally. I'm like, okay, I'll white knuckle it. Oh my goodness. You white knuckled the vacuum? Yeah, I did. I did. What was that like? Super painful.

And the fucked up part was the girl who went before me, because I was at Planned Parenthood. Same. The girl who went before me, I was like, hey, I don't think we need a sedative. She's like, are you sure? I'm like, yeah, we're fine. She saw me in the recovery room afterwards.

And she like seared holes into my forehead. She's like, what the fuck was that? You're crazy for that. Did the doctors, so I write about it because I was young. I don't know if you experienced this at Planned Parenthood. I talk about like, you have this image of, as you're walking in to get an abortion, that there's gonna be all of these

sea of people with picket signs calling you a killer. That wasn't the case, however. There's one or two. There's always one or two. Mine didn't have any. But when I went in, I remember as I was going back, this was already a conversation I had with my mom, with myself, they sat there before doing the procedure

trying to convince me that the decision I was making was wrong. No way. Yes, and I was so like- At Planned Parenthood? At Planned Parenthood. This was in Atlanta, Georgia though, so I'm sure they were conservative.

Bitch, why are you here? But literally, they were trying to convince me, like, are you sure you wanna do this? And I remember, and I wrote about it, because that was like a vivid memory in my mind, like, how dare you bitch, bitch, I'm coming here. Like as they showed me the sonogram of the dot, they're like, this is, it's a dot.

What you want me to do? Like they tried to make me connect to this thing that I, this decision that I had already made. And it was just- I wonder if there's some kind of like, you know, different abortion clinics have different, I don't want to say vibes, but I used to volunteer to drive people home from abortions. Oh, that's sweet.

So I'm not a great person. I feel like they gave me free birth control or something. I must do something. But it was when I got my driver's license, it counted as volunteer hours. And I'm like, this is something I'm passionate about. So why I said I always saw them every single time, because that's really, but that was in Orlando. True, but that was part of the safety thing. So basically like making sure that person is enshamed on the way out was more important than the twilight. They were like, oh, they'll wake up eventually,

but like make sure they don't encounter these people. And I heard some stories where people talked about other places they went to where they had to go through a few steps before getting approved for an abortion. And this is 20 years ago, I'm 34 years old now. So like, it's weird, cause today I live in downtown Manhattan.

So whenever I need to just get a test or do something, I go to Planned Parenthood cause it's a 10 minute walk. It's in Soho. There's always someone outside. And I'm always like, I am so confused. You guys are literally in New York. I thought this was the place of freedom and abortion. It's weird, but when you go in.

They have it right here in Hollywood, too. They have the little one or two people with the signs. And that's the thing, those are blue states, right? Yeah. You know who they are? Jehovah Witness. Yeah. Cause Jehovah Witness be doing a little,

they have the little setup outside of a grocery store. Cause they never take holidays, they have so much time. Not cause they never take holidays. I had a miscarriage like five years ago and I obviously that was a wanted pregnancy. And I will sometimes similar to you think about like, oh, what would it have been like if I had that baby? But even though it was wanted

and I didn't terminate it myself, I still feel very, very strongly that was never a baby. Like it just, it was, I lost maybe like nine or 10 weeks. And it's like, you're just a, you're a dot. It's not a baby. And so I just feel very strongly like it was never a baby. I think it's difficult now, like, and I bring up the reversal of Roe v. Wade

and how that affects like our autonomy. And there's the lady now, I forgot her name, Something Smith in Georgia, where they're keeping her alive. You know, after having a brain aneurysm, she's now brain dead. The family is responsible to keep her alive

because they found out she was nine weeks pregnant. So the family is now responsible to pay for the medical bills, keeping her alive for eight months because they're like, well, she's pregnant, the life of the baby matters more than her. And her family has to literally go in and see that she's not there, but she's still breathing all because there's a baby inside.

And so like with these laws being changed, even to about the decisions we can make, luckily, we were in in states at the time that allowed that. But even me, like being back in Georgia, I'm like, shit, I'm gonna have to go to New York for my abortion now, like if it happens. Like, well, I use condoms, I use condoms, I'm an advocate for it, so I'm being smart. I hear I'm not fucking- You made it sound like it was a regular appointment.

Oh, fuck. I have to go get my hair done and my abortion in New York. Literally, my hair too. By the way, saying that you, like, you know, you felt good about the abortion at that time, I have a friend of mine, she's like always joking about this moment

because her kids almost graduated now. But we did Molly like 10 years ago together and she was like, I wanna say something, I wanna say it out loud. I was like, and she had just had a baby. I wanna say it, I wanna say it, it's right here. And I was like, do it. And this is like rave girl EDC shit back in the day. And she looked at me and she goes, I love him say it. I want to say it. It's right here. And I was like, do it. And this is like rave girl, EDC shit back in the day.

And she looked at me and she goes, I love him so much talking to her son. But like, I could have waited. I didn't want to think about it. And I'm just like, maybe I'm just having a good one. Cause I had it now, but like, what if I didn't keep him, we see it. Would I have had another good one in 10 years?

And I'm like, damn, do moms that felt pushed through their family, you know, we were young at the time, I'm 34 now, do mothers that felt pushed be like, damn, I'm grateful for this life. But also good. All my own girls with babies be like, girl, don't have them.

Don't have them. I am an advocate for not till your 40s. Honestly, those you have to consider. I mean, if you can, freezer. Honestly, those you have to consider. Freeze your eggs now, ladies. Have it when. My mom had me at 40, but you know, my parents are in their golden years, which sucks.

But also at the same time, I do appreciate how much life they lived. Wait, oh, your parents had you older? What age did you say? My mom had me at 40. So my mom's 74 now, my dad is 90 next week. And I know my friend, Rhonda, was telling me so much about you.

She loves this show. Yeah. She's like, oh my God, her too. You guys would connect. She told me that years ago. My dad is, would have been 101. Esther, Esther's keeping. 101. Yeah, he was born in 1924.

So 101. Whoa. Oh my God. My dad's 82. I thought I had an old dad, but. Oh wait, I didn't know it was you too. Yeah. My dad is just still alive somewhere. I don't know his age. I think he was born in 65 or something.

That's young. He's a couple of years older than my mom. My mom was born in 68. I don't know. You're like, when you're at parents in the thirties, and I don't know if you guys can relate, when you're a kid, you're like, Oh my God, this looks like my grandparents. I'm like, I'm old.

Yes. I was so embarrassed when my dad would come pick us up from school and we were like, oh, your grandpa's here. I'm like, oh yeah, that's my grandpa. I wouldn't even like. Fix it. I wouldn't fix it. When I was in my worst, my dad is the white one.

My mom is the black one. My dad is the white one. I'm like, fuck, now you really look your age. And my mom just looks so youthful. Even today she's in her seventies and people, and she's a very vibrant person. And I mean, honestly, your dad's just a very vibrant person. And I was like, what's up? And I mean, honestly, your dad's looked 90 since I met you.

Yeah, he just looks like, and we met at 15. He's an old Middle Eastern guy, he just looks old. And my mom called me one day years ago, I sent them on a cruise. He was more mobile at the time, but would use a wheelchair sometimes. And she's like, oh, I can't even wear white because everyone thinks I'm his fucking nurse.

I can't. Like that, your mom is hilarious. If you think about it, what is this black lady doing with this old white guy? But also are they the same age? Like it's- Are you kidding me? My mom is 36 years younger than my dad.

I am that prototypical white passport bro with that really young like Filipina chick even though like that wasn't the case because my dad was actually like not a loser from America who just you know with the passport bro like my dad was like a wealthy European guy is born and raised in France he's like a multilingual he was just like a traveling little bachelor right who wouldn't want that but from afar I would be so insecure at the nurse thing. And honestly, my mom is a nurse.

So she would sometimes roll around in scrubs. And people probably just assume that. And guess what? I wouldn't correct it. I would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my grandpa. That's his nurse. And you're not a bad person for doing that.

Kids don't know how to grasp that. So that's why when I'm like, oh my God, a kid at 40, like, and every time my mom and I have a drink together, she's like, getting old sucks. I'm so fucking tired of being old. I'm so old. Everybody just comes around and tells me how good I look. I can't walk.

Fuck. Think about our backs right now. Oh, I know. Oh yeah, I'd be getting stretched. Fucking besides, I'd be like, stretch these hips. Me and my best friend will come over, I will roll out the yoga mat in the living room and we just stretch.

But after the stretching? No, we stretch together, both of our hips hurt. Oh, I was like, this sounds like sex. So we'll be talking and just be stretching at the same time. Like, ooh, we are the old people we used to talk about. That's such a good idea. I'm fully taking that idea home with me.

Stretch with your friends. What is your demographic of listeners' age? Because we're saying some old, but shit. Very old friends. Someone in the back just went. We're old. We're old. This episode is brought to you by IQ Bar.

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Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you. helixsleep.com slash trash Tuesday. What? Are you an only child? Yeah. Can't you tell? I love that. How can you tell? You give off only child. Oh my God.

But you give off only child. Is it the selfish thing? Yeah. You kind of come in. Like I'm here. Give it to me now. Oh no. Yeah. See why I have to start with a hug. I don't know when I'm being rude. I'm here, give it to me now. Oh my God, no! See why I have to start with a hug?

I don't know when I'm being rude. I'm the same way, I'm selfish too. You're an only child. No, I actually, I have a half older sister who's eight years older. Does she live with you though? Yeah, so I have, what I like to say is I have all the worst qualities of an only child

and a younger sibling. So I'm annoying and selfish. Oh no, me, that's me. She works with me, she knows. I have seen you in party mode, and I gotta say, thoroughly impressed. I went to this one daytime party with Jenna. I think Alex invited us.

It was a lot of wild. I think it was everyday people. Yes, it was everyday people. The way you float around like a butterfly, I'm like, that is an only child. Girl, that was, I probably did a bump when you saw it. Like honestly though, I am so, I don't know. It's interesting because I talk so much

about how much I love partying. I love people. I get my energy from other people. That's the only child shit. Yeah. And I'm noticing it the most now having a partner who had a big family, who's like, why can't we just stay in this one hotel room

and lock the door and enjoy the view? And I'm like, oh my God, no, let's go talk to people. I'm talking to the fucking front desk, the front desk guy says this place is great. He's like, shut the fuck up. But it's that I'm desperate to talk to someone only child thing. And so partying is a way for me,

even when I was young, I would go out alone. And being a New Yorker, you know, we go out alone. That's how you meet your community. Your apartment's too small. It sucks. You go downstairs, you meet people. So partying is my way of almost feeling at home. That sounds crazy, but it is. Like, I love to dance.

That makes sense. That makes sense. Not in a way of, oh my God, let's go get fucked up. I don't need anything. You can throw me in a party, I can dance for hours, and people will be like, what is she on? The night you saw me, I was. But, because I remember that, I was like, everyday people in LA, ooh.

That was so fun. It was. I have my days, especially like, I love the New York party scene. I love techno, I love house music, I love trap music, it just depends. So there's a really cool club called Basement. I don't know if anyone watched Baby Girl

when Nicole Kidman? I haven't yet, but my mom has been begging me. It's good. So there's a scene where they go to this rave. That place exists in New York. It's a real club and it feels exactly like that. You just can't have water there. Like you do need to be on drugs.

So there's times when people are like, you want to go to the basement? I'm like, no, no, no. I went last month. Let's give it till July. Like, give me a little break here. What's my normal party and what's my rage party line? I have one.

Wait, this is actually pretty interesting because I have been, historically, never someone that can be social without either a drink in hand or just because, like, I have a lot of, like, social anxiety. I sweat from, like like head to toe. Anyways, we stumbled upon, or Stella, you sent me that article about sober sex. And most of my younger years, I could not, I really, really struggled having sober sex.

You and I need to both do some sort of thing together. I dealt with this last year. Really? I went celibate and sober at the same time because I was realizing my need to be drunk to engage with sex and it stemmed from maybe not feeling safe with the partners I was having sex with but also I was doing it with my ex. Like by the way if anyone would come over my house or I would go to them it didn didn't matter what what location the as soon as they walk through the door shots, then the shrooms, then you want to blunt. And I had to be completely like lit

to even get get off, essentially. And then what I noticed between going sober and going celibate was my need to drink, to be sometimes even around people. It's what made me realize, oh, I'm not the extrovert I thought I was because then when I was going out, I was like, oh, wait, I don't like I realized that I had to drink to be in these spaces. So where you're talking about this only child thing needed to be in these rooms, I realized how much, oh, wow, I'm not the extrovert partier fun girl that I thought I was.

I've been leaning heavily into liquor to exist in these rooms. That is the biggest realization that, so my whole idea of myself, my own self perception was that I was this party girl that I love to be around people. And anyone who knows me or who knew me from like my 20s, Vegas girl, all day parties,

just being this like social butterfly. But I realized I was also drunk most of the time. And when I think about sex, I the idea of it, like the performance of it all, I couldn't deal with sober. Which is crazy, because I love to perform. I thought like it's so crazy because when I was single before I got my partner, like I doubled back to someone old and from from the olding days. And back in the day, I was like, let me just bring him back.

Your dad's age when he was your mom. You know, and I brought him, you know, he came over and I made the drink and it almost hit me. This was after the celibate trip and all that. He was like, damn, you got a drink to fuck me? After I had already, literally, mind you, hadn't fucked him for like seven, eight years. Just came back, but that's how we would fuck back then.

We would party, we would club. So much so to where there was many blackout nights to where I was like, did we fuck? You know? And he hadn't even known that like I'd been, another one of my guys was like, you be lit with me. And, you be lit. I like how you suck this dick, but God damn you be lit.

To me, it's still just something I'm working on. Like my kind of uncomfortability and in the book I talk about too, there's a sexual assault chapter and not to make it dark, but I also realized- Oh no, that's what we're, our show is dark. I'm the most diddled person. Yeah.

Oh, I love a good, like, let's talk about suicide stuff. Oh my God, I've been, do you not have an institutionalized three times? Oh my God. I know. Y'all are nuts now. No, I genuinely love those moments. Like being able to laugh and then like,

okay, like let's talk about that time that. Well, you do that and you admit that you do that as a defense mechanism because you're uncomfortable talking about it. Exactly. Well, as they always says, if you don't laugh about it, you'll die. Yeah.

There's just no way to sort of like... I ain't there. I'd be like, bitch, get your shit together. What's crazy is me and my mom and my sister are all literally in therapy right now, ironically for the same thing. Jealous, what a flex. No, this is my mom's first time and my sister,

and we all realized they both told me without me telling them what I'm working through and it's feeling safe with men. Yeah. And it's like, damn, I, you know, I like eating coochie too, but I want to be with a man. And it's just like, for this, for this realization that maybe I'm not even

fully comfortable with them in the most vulnerable act, which is sex, it's just like, okay, so I've been toning down my liquor just to try to figure myself out more. But I think what's really interesting too is that if, because I have a long history of like young sexual assault and then teen sexual assault and just like the weirdest things. And also sexual assault in a relationship where I had a boyfriend who would rip the pillowcase if I said no.

You know, that type of shit where he was like, he had to have it twice a day. And I was with him for a couple of years. And if I said no, I would, he would just stonewall me or treat me like shit that day. And I was like 19, 20, you know? So that stuff really sort of like grows in your head. So then I, but when I stopped drinking altogether,

like you, I realized, oh, I'm not just an introvert. I'm a hermit. Yeah. Like I am. You can leave me at home to bed rot for 18 hours and I am fine. Oh, after this trip, I get back to Atlanta on Saturday. All my friends know I probably won't leave my house till Wednesday. Like after I do trips like this now, I'm like, I stay in my house with my cat and watch TV and I just have to be by myself.

You need to recover. I can press. And we're going on tour for the book. And I'm literally that's what I'm also in therapy now. Like, what do I do to be able to exist with all these people now, especially because I told her for the tour, I'm going to minimize my drinking. I'm literally like trying to be intentional with how I exist and knowing myself more. Kind of like how you said, like you thought you knew yourself. Oh bitch, every way in which I described myself in my 20s and even my early 30s, I

was like, oh bitch, that was all a perception of yourself because of how liquor existed in your life. Exactly. And as soon as that's removed, as soon as like you receive the confidence and self- and you start valuing yourself. It's like, oh, wait, maybe I'm also not this like sex driven fucking siren that I think maybe I'm not this man eater that I thought I was. Hey, hey, hey, yes, we are. I mean, honestly, honestly, that's the things that are like we go through in the book. Right. Like we have these journeys. Listen, my pussy gets electrocuted in this book.

OK, I go to a dungeon. I put my my ex's dick in a cage. And then my pussy gets electrocuted. So I'm still into this shit. My craziest stories in the book. Like, let's do three each. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, really, really.

OK, so I'll start with my dad. Like, first off, I know this sounds really sad right now. You're not going to. There are trigger warnings in this book. But we're going through things We just like suicides I'm like, I love this shit, I love this shit You know what's crazy about the suicide chapter?

Ay ay let's go I remember the day that I was like, oh I think I'm gonna do it. I went out and I'm just I'm on music Wait no bitch we were given three goddamn stories No no no she was We wanted to get away from being sad. We gotta bring up the sex of the day It's funny though my shit ain't sad, Sam. Well, it's cause you make it funny. I'm in the club and I'm like,

yo, this music is really bad. I paid to see this DJ. I want to say it was Zed. Hope this doesn't go viral. But I used to love Zed back in the day. We all did. So I'm like, yeah, let me go fuck with some Zed. I go pull up and I'm like,

no, like I really might kill myself tonight. Like this isn't worth it. I thought I was gonna take myself back in time. Like I want to die, this shit is trash. Clarity ain't hitting the stage. Clarity. I don't have clarity, like I really think. Like, so, you know, people are offering me

fucking pills and shit. I'm like, bro, I want volume and 20 of them. Like I really was like, this music is trash. And it's crazy because when you're contemplating suicide, little things, I had a pizza that was bad. I'm like, I really was like, this music is trash. And it's crazy because when you're contemplating suicide, little things make, I had a pizza that was bad. I'm like, I should die. It's fucked up, but it starts to like just... Wait, was there something in your life going on

that like, that was, had you in that mindset? Or was it purely triggered by Zed? No, no, no, no, no. I didn't want to die from Zed. But I already was just feeling low. So the pressure of I'm going to do this thing and I'm going to feel better. Yeah, this needs to fix my problems right now. Yeah. So I'd be like, I'm going to go out and it would be so manic. She said the sound system sucked that night. It ruined it. It didn't, it didn't, the bass wasn't hitting what it needed to. I don't know, Brooklyn Mirage, I don't remember where it was in New York or what

club back then. It was maybe eight or nine years ago, but I was like, this is not, it's crazy because that lifestyle of dancing and music is something that makes me feel good. But when you're depressed, there's like sometimes it's like, yeah. That's the worst thing, when the things you love don't hit,

that is so dark. Like, or one of my most depressed states when I was in college and it was when everyone around me loved college. They loved partying, they loved frats, and I'm like, oh, there's something wrong with me that I don't like this.

Everyone else around me is happy and I'm not. That's another like. I know so many people must feel that. I never had a college experience, and I can't imagine, because yeah, that was the thing I feel like I missed. Oh my God, I don't have as many girlfriends my age because I never met them in school.

Or I don't have this long lineage of like, you know, in black colleges, like if you're not an AKA and you ain't got a dance and a frat or sorority, like where's your identity at? I never wanted to be hazed. That was never a goal of mine. Oh, I wanted to be the AKs and be those girls like, mm, mm. You was not allowed to just be throwing stuff up.

I don't know what this is. Ah, you did it again. Don't do that, girl. This is a haka. Whatever, all the signs. Stop throwing up the signs. It's so lame, sorry. You can throw a shaka.

Okay, it's not a... The haka is a New Zealand Maori dance. Thank you. Look, thank you. She's well-traveled, but you know. Wait, wait, wait. I'm like all day. Sorry, Weezy. I need to hear about what's going on in here. Electrocuted pussy and a ch dance. Look, thank you. That's shocking. She's well traveled, but you know. Wait, wait, wait. I'm like all day. Sorry, Wheezy.

Wheezy. I need to hear about what's going on in here. Electrocuted pussy and a chastity cage, go. Oh gosh. My boyfriend ate my blood because I was insecure about my period. I hooked up with a couple that I shot my shot at in Mexico. Oh.

They were great. Literally left my tour and stayed on an island. I said, tour boat, you don't have to take me back to the mainland, I'm staying with them. This is where I really like, oh, they were great. Literally left my tour and stayed on an island. I said, tour boat, you don't have to take me back to the mainland, I'm staying with them. This is where I really could, I needed you when I was single. Oh girl. Because I did not know, I was like,

where is my gang bang? I couldn't find my gang bang. It was a woman and a man. But I do even share like the shooting your shot. Like I give tips, I'm very big with like, I go after what I want. I slide in DMs, I send drinks across the bar. So literally I saw this couple, they was fine as shit.

And so we both ended up being at the bar together. And I share this story on the pod, but like the theme around the chapter in the book is that I don't think I experienced this if say my friends are with me because I'm thinking about what my friends are gonna think. I'm thinking about what society is gonna think, like bitch, you're gonna leave with this couple.

So I literally lean into the fact that this was a solo trip to Mexico, and I wanted just to decompress. I was sad about breaking up with my ex for the 12th time, and I was like, I just need a break. I'm overworked. Go there, and I decided to swim with whale sharks, because all my friends would not do it.

Them bitches is like, oh yeah, that's your white side. Swim with whale sharks. Who the fuck wants to do that? So I'm like, I'm by myself. I'm going to swim with these whale sharks. We get to the island. I fucking can't, uh, what's the name? Eastland. And I see this couple and they find and I'm like, fuck it. I was there. I buy them. It was a solo trip. I buy them, uh, shots and I go down. And I was like, I just think y'all look so good. Here's some shots.

Happens to be his birthday. We happen to talk, they're from New York. My boat goes to leave and they're like, damn, really, what you could say? And I said, bitch, I could get back to the mainland, right? And they say, yeah, there's a ferry. I said, okay, let me go get my stuff. I'm staying.

And I ended up staying with them for two days. We fucked like crazy. He thought it was set up because this is his first threesome for his 35th birthday in his life. And he's like, he comes out after it happened and he's like, y'all know each other. There's no way that just happened. And it was like the best thing.

He like dated both of us for two days. You know, this is like also like the situation that we just described. So we went on a friend's podcast, Heather and Terrell, and I was like, yeah, you have to be on vacation, and it's just some hot girl that just starts flirting with you. I'm like, it may not happen. It might.

It happened. That shit never happens. It does, girl. You know how many threesomes I've had? I mean, I've had threesomes too, but just, like, again. Oh, it was great. You maybe needed a hotter boyfriend, I'm going to be honest.

It's not that. It's not that. For a hot girl to, like, they might want to fuck you, but when you're a hotter boyfriend, I'm gonna be honest. It's not that, it's not that. No, no, no, for a hot girl to like, they might wanna fuck you, but when you're a hot couple, everyone's like. I'm the problem, so I have this idea in my head that. No, I would fuck you. Well, you could say the problem,

but it's not everybody's problem. Even with face paralysis, I have face paralysis. You'd fuck me still. Wait, I can't see that. No one sees it anymore. Wait, your old personality. Wait, your face went like. When I gave birth, my face went like that When I gave birth my face- Oh my god, it's like that.

Wait, that's what happened to Heather! You should have her on here! Do you guys know Heather Sanders? No! Oh my god, she's so hot like a hot black girl. She had- Bells palsy. Bells palsy after birth! Oh, her voice- Really?

That's the thing, I can't control it anymore! He's like, oh, she's this bitch! She's like- No, they gotta have Heather in- Wait, you guys wanna have kids knowing this could happen? Crazy. Wait, how did you get away from the Bells Palsy? Can I- I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie.

I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. I'm not gonna lie, I'm not gonna lie. She's like, no, they gotta have heaven in them. Wait, you guys wanna have kids knowing this could happen? Crazy. Wait, how do you get away from them? That was Bobby. It's eight months out, I don't know. I think I need bullet talks at this point.

Do you just like massage your face? Something, yeah. Also, she's right. People don't wanna have three sins with you because you have ugly ass boyfriends, okay? Let's just say Bobby was a little bit of a hard sell. No, but at the same time, Bobby Lee is Bobby Lee. He's cool. He's cool? Like, I think what's a little bit of a hard sell. No, but at the same time Bobby Lee is Bobby Lee And he's cool. Yeah, like I think he's attractive but conventionally attractive to be hot couple

Are they sure guys are more cool? Are you nine too short guys? He's short. He's 54 Not to add I'm saying he would have had to get the knee surgery I'm saying he would have had to get the knee surgery for y'all to start having Just add three even three inches would have only made him five seven thing if there's a girl gonna want a fucking guy that's shorter No, that's a thing. Like you got a life one. You could have found a shorter girl But nobody wants to fuck a guy who's high for okay understand. So you my current literally I'm telling you guys I'm the problem and I'll explain to you why. Okay, so I was still dating the guy that I'm with now and he's this strapping Hawaiian

man named Aloha. Over six feet tall, big, dark. He got the tribal tattoo? He doesn't have the tattoos but he's like- He look like Omi Reigns. But he is like a man, you know what I mean? Big and burly and just beautiful. I look at this man all I want is a piggyback ride.

I just, I want to, I want to get from here to West Hollywood on his back. I know that's right. Listen. We might need to share pictures. I'm envisioning it. I could see the both of you now. Okay, and if I told you, okay, it was a situation that could have possibly been as perfect

as your Isla Mohera strips. And there was a girl who came into town from New York, and she's a burlesque dancer, and I'll show you pictures afterwards, and she was incredibly beautiful, and she shot her shot with me. Wait, and bitch, how did you drop the ball? We went to the strip club together,

we were making out in the strip club, and for some reason, maybe I was not drunk enough, or I don't know what the fuck happened, I chickened out. So she was like, hey, I'm actually locked out of my apartment because she wanted to come back with us. Oh damn. She was throwing that pussy. She was so beautiful.

I don't know if y'all have ever had a threesome with a guy that has a super huge dick, but I actually remember this moment. My friend, actually I talk about it in the book, my first threesome ever. And his dick was so big that I kind of felt like her and I were taking breaks. I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

let me just, let me just, like, when it's too big, oh no, you got 15 pumps. Like that's it. See, I guess that's like the thing about like exploring yourself sexually, removing the drugs, adding the drugs, the liquor, the, the, all the things, all of the things you have to unlearn because of maybe religion and your family and all these things. Like in the book, we go through the assault, we go through the abortion,

we go through the threesomes, we go through the dungeon, we go to the sex club, we go through heartbreak, we go through throuples. Like all of these stories are told to where we either reflect from them or we also share though like how it helped shape us into where we're at now. It's broken up into pain, pleasure, progression, and power. So like for example, in the pain chapter,

there's the abortion story, there's a rape story, then there's a story about getting spanked, and then there's a story about heartbreak. Like, it's pain looks different. In progression, what I really love, it's like sugar daddy story, but also like, what did I do with the money when the sugar daddy gave it to me?

Did I buy a bag or did I buy a stock portfolio? And then for me, I talked about how I didn't have value for myself and loved being a side chick with married men. So I have a chapter that's titled like, do married men really treat you better? And it was because I felt like I got the best version of this man. I never wanted to be in the wife's position,

but in hindsight, I realized, oh, it's because I wasn't ready to be a man's priority or I didn't value myself as someone who could come number one. So I was fine with number two and the crumbs and the little bit of time that I got with these people. And I talk about like where my mind was in my 20s to not really valuing myself, to not feeling like I deserved more, to where I'm at now. Like, oh, bitch, you was a worthless piece of shit.

I'm glad you got past that and found your power. But that that section for me particularly is like, who? Finding like my I guess it's right before the power, but all the lessons that I learned in ways that I showed up and thought I was powerful, even in the beginning of this podcast, to where now I'm like, oh bitch, I would never do that.

Fuck for a flight, are you kidding me? Like, no, I can fly myself now, first class, wherever the fuck I wanna go. We're about to be in the South of France. I'm going the extra day to do Monte Carlo and I'm taking a helicopter from there to Nice. Like, because I just want to do it. On the black traveling bus.

This is not an act. To that I will say though, to that I will say, I do fantasize about my broke girl days of really trying to get drinks through an interaction. For free. There's something really fun about those days that will never, even now, I'm like, of course I can buy my own drinks.

Oh, I'm not gonna lie. Of course I can fly myself. But those days were fun. Girl, you could do them today. I go out with my friends now and I'll be like, girl, let's see how many drinks we can get. I'll go out and be like, whoever gets the most numbers, the other person owes them a hundred bucks.

We now make it like a game to go out and see, because first off, men are broke now. But also we're in a recession, drinks are $25. I get it. But can we be honest though? I don't know if it's the same across the board, but at least in New York and in the South, broke dick niggas. Here we go with this. Oh, let me tell you something. She loves putting them on a pedestal. You remember the skater guy? Here we go.

Go ahead and, go ahead and, there's skaters, there's bartenders, there's all the broke niggas with these big old dicks. Okay, so I like, like I have a type. I like alt guy. So you like alt guy? Alt black guy, like does the guy look like he fucks white girls, but he doesn't? That's what I want. No, he looks like if you hop in his car,

he's gonna be playing paramour. Oh, you know, not a bad choice. Not a bad choice. I was that black guy. So, oh my God, there's this guy literally skating. I was with Alex. Oh, he was so mad at me because I left him. It's that black guy. Yeah. So, oh my God, there was this guy literally skating. I was with Alex. Oh, he was so mad at me because I left him. It was three o'clock in the morning

and he's like smoking a cigarette. And this is so Lower East Side. He's like, I've never seen you. I'm like, I've never seen you. And he's like, fuck you, man. I'm like, fuck you, man. In my home that you don't have. So he takes me to this like super chic club in New York

that like nobody can get into because the broke guy always knows everyone. One, he got bomb dick and he's fine. And probably gives people their coke. So what? I wanted some too, probably. So basically, we're out and I'm like,

damn, how does he know everybody? He's not paying for shit, so I'm not thinking anything. Everybody's giving him a free drink. Finally, he comes back to my house. Sex is, I mean, it was so good. I was like, how many girlfriends does he have? I don't even know. So I was like, can you get me some water?

He goes in my fridge and he says, damn, you got a lot of shit in here. And I'm like, I got a lot of shit in the fridge. Bro, it's very nicely packed from the whole thing. Like, I don't know what you're talking about. So I'm like, okay, this is some posh shit to say. So then he comes back to the bed, big dick, fine. I'm like, oh, don't a post shit to say so then he comes back to the bed big dick fine I'm like, oh don't don't don't think so then finally I say thank you. Where do you live?

Mm-hmm. He's like well right now like oh the right now right now right now I'm in Bushwick, but like I kind of just bounce from Bushwick to Westchester and then like kind of like Newark like area and then like kind of like Newark like area. Okay, so you don't know how. No. I never answer the question saying I pounced right now. Tell everyone how you still put his dick in your mouth. It's just tasty good. Mind you, you know what he does right now?

He's like pursuing an art collective in LA. He was like, oh, you should come by the house sometime. So right now, some guy loves his art so much, he's living in the guest suite that is bigger than my LA apartment. Girl, I'll tell you, good dick take you far. I don't know if he's fucking the wife. Weezy said fuck the unhoused.

Give them some coochie. It's big. Well, you know what, if they do have the potential, you know, if he's a good artist, if there's something there, I think you're right. I think he's 38, so I don't know. But I know what, if they do have the potential, you know, if he's a good artist, if there's something there, I think you're right. I think he's 38, so I don't know. Oh, yeah. But I know what you're saying.

So if you're in your 20s listening to this, maybe. Maybe. Me, I'm wearing a blazer right now, I have a book coming out, absolutely not. Bro, at one point, I was like, yo, I really got too much money to be hanging with this nigga. Because we were like walking down the street,

and I wanna say say somebody was like, oh my God, didn't I meet you in Paris? That's what this girl said to me. It was fashion week. I was like, yes, we just saw each other. She's like, okay, I'll see you at blah, blah, blah. And he's like, damn, that's what you'd be doing? I'm like, oh no, no!

He's taking it with light with me, he's gonna be pregnant! Fuck! But I'm telling you, broke dick is different because they really got to fight for it. Because next, he could be between Bushwick and the Lower East Side. The praise about this is just- Broke pussy too, because they really got to fight for it. Because next, you could be between Bushwick and the Lower East Side. The praise about this is just...

Broke pussy too. Think about it, bro. The way I was throwing pussy when I worked at T-Mobile, I was fucking different, bitch. I was really, really hitting it. Now I'm just like, bro, I have to do trash Tuesday. I haven't got shit to do. Yeah.

I'm not going to fuck you for four hours and jump off the wall. That is young girl sport. Hello. No, thank you. Broke shit be hitting. I. I'm telling I like rounds. I will make time No, I will put it in my calendar Hey, I'm unavailable for these four hours. I wanted to ask you guys something that's really Sort of the same thing that we're going through which is like how you rebranded from horrible decisions to decisions decisions And when if there was a fear of being like,

oh, we might sort of lose like some of our core audience or whatever, we're thinking about changing our name. How did it go for you guys? We just talked about this on air. Like I said, I love it. I was ready to get rid of the horror title in it. I think it was keeping us back. We felt stagnant for a little bit.

Now for me, I feel excited about the rebrand. Horrible Decisions still exists, but on Patreon behind the paywall. I think Wheezy has felt disconnected a little bit from the rebrand. My biggest disconnection that Mandy's talking about is the fans feeling like, oh, well you don't wanna be a hoe anymore.

Like now you're too good for it, or now you wanna change. And I also recently got in a relationship and I'm like thinking to myself, oh, changing the name now, now I'm grown up because I've got a man. Like you know how people- You've always had a man when you was old too.

I always have a boyfriend. Every man she dates becomes her boyfriend on air. People always, girls with boyfriends do that shit. Oh my God, she's doing what? Bitch, you were sucking dick right in the car too a few months ago. But that's also a little unfair for people to be on this journey with you

and not want to watch you grow or change. Like that is- Oh no, for women, once you're a hoe, you're always a hoe. You can't grow, you can't- But okay, like I just gave birth, but that little hoe fire still burns deep in my chest. And I hope like once my facial paralysis is good

that I'm back to three- Oh, it's good. You can be a hoe tonight. I do, I really wanna be, I wanna get back into being a full-fledged ho. I noticed you said threesomes and then you pointed to her and her. Crazy.

And I was just like. I wanna get, oh, oh. Wait, you have them too, right? No, I haven't, but I just. But she does. So why you be a man, you got left out, girl? Because I have a work crush on Kaliwa. She has my name tattooed on her, is why.

Oh. It's just a work crush. That is the best thing I've ever heard. That is the gayest shit I've ever heard. No, but let me tell you what it is. You know how white boys get drunk and they be doing shit like that? They be like, yeah, I got a fucking Cheeto bag on my ass.

That's the shit that I'm hearing right now. This is real. Wait, you did that sober? Yeah. For my birthday, it was apparently my birthday gift. She was like, happy birthday. I love this story She doesn't like it We've been friends like a decade. Yeah

Okay Honestly, I would probably do that for any of my best friends right now So we I have matching tattoos with my friends, but I'm not tatting their names off Vinny Brianda right here I wouldn't give a fuck. I don't even have kids. I'm not tatting their names on me. I would put Vinny Rihanda right here. I wouldn't give a fuck. I don't even have kids. I'm not tatting no names on me. That lets you know, how many tattoos do you have?

Well, I have like four. The thing is though, is that they were supposed to be semi-permanent, but they were supposed to last. You said it's still here. Yeah, it's been five years and they're all still there. Do you have your husband's name? No.

Wait, you're married? Yeah. You have her name tattooed on you, but not your husband? Oh, bitch. We couldn't get in one fight. I'd be like, that's why you got that bitch name on your face. You never loved me. Oh, wow. I ain't gonna be judgy. I'm listening. I don't judge. Will you please promise, you have to promise to come back because we have, I have so much more to talk about. We have so much, what are bananas for? Okay, so bananas are for potassium and when like things get a little bit emotional,

banana is a cure-it-all in my mind, of course. Because we always talk about crazy shit. Why didn't they bring this out during the suicide? I didn't make up the potassium part. It's good for your heart, believe it. Girl. You thought it was some phallic shit, like some sexual?

I thought she wanted us to suck the fucking Because we just rebranded Do it with braces That's been my whole new brand you can still you know what adult braces such a vibe. I want them so bad I know where you got in. Thank you. No because in the Philippines, but that's a trend They're so high like you are of status when you have adult braces. All the Filipino bitches got braces, and I'm like, are they cheap there?

Well, no, it's because it's a sign of status that you got money for braces. Oh, I'm copying you. You guys, like, I'm obsessed with you two. You are the funniest, most like- Not another tattoo. Oh my God, you guys gotta come on horrible shit. Wait, can we come on your show?

We can, this week. How awesome. You guys in LA, I need to see you like every day. She's never gonna come back, she hates it. I fucking hate it here. But we have two more days here, you have to come on. I hate it here. Bring the baby.

No, she'll hate it. Like smoothies, the acai bowls, the three seasons in one day, I gotta wear a jacket, a cardigan, a tank top, a bathing suit, I hate it. I just love luxury shit and I love cringey shit. Then everything is an hour away. My friend just canceled with me

because she had me go into another place I don't fucking remember. And she's like, I'm not gonna do that to you because it's like an hour and then you have to go back downtown and that's like an hour. They moved from New York so girls gotta eat, adult girls gotta eat.

They moved from New York and I think that's why they're on the beach. New Yorkers be like, ooh, let me get the beach. Mitch, I was in the Bronx and had Orchard. No, it was a little good. That's the mistake. It's not a good beach, but there's a beach that's in New York. It's green.

Not Gunnison. That's the new beach. But that's all the way in Sandy Hook. You had to go all the way to Jersey. Sorry, Esther, it's your show. No, no, I was just gonna- You gotta come on ours. Maybe Friday.

I have them Friday. Friday. We have a show on Friday. Can we both fuck you up? Look at us trying to get y'all on our show. No, but like we do. We want to take a really long break. We want to take a really long break. Friday. We have a show on Friday. Can we both fuck you up? Can we both fuck you up? Yes. Look at us trying to get y'all on our show. No, but like we do.

We want to take a really long New York trip really, really soon, don't we, Esther? Yeah. You know, I, can we have a sleepover? Y'all gotta coordinate that with my travel schedule, cause I don't live there no more. Oh, you don't live there no more. So how do you guys record?

Girl, we bulk. We record it through August, baby. Well, when you wanna make evergreen content. The dick edges sucked last month. So how do you guys record girl we bulk we recorded through August, baby Last month They don't even get to know my actual pussy schedule they are so behind That's the scary thing about bulk recording cuz it's like oh my god I had an episode come out once not this current partner, but it was my ex-boyfriend I was talking about how in love we were, and he wrote me and he was like,

we were in a huge right. He said, I would feel so good to wake up and hear this, just knowing we're good. We ain't good, niggas. That shit was large. What is she talking about? Oh, I wanted to go back and edit, bro. Bulk recording, it's the best with guests,

cause then it really is just. Oh yeah, the guests allow us to get out of our personal life. But I've literally said like, okay, like to my boyfriend, I'm like, we've worked through things together that is just now coming out on air. And I'm like, okay, that sucks. And then I know like, if there's a breakup, my relationship is gonna last longer on the podcast

than it does in real life. You know? Mandy. What? Hold on, can I just ask, not to make it awkward, what was the black people tab for? There was a black people tab? Who is looking up black people on Google? That's crazy.

What? There is, there's a black people tab up there. Oh my God. Whose computer is that? Oh, wait, you said there's a black people tab, what? No, no, no, You were on Donnell Rawlings and you talked about Black people and men's health and all. Oh, Donnell Rawlings, okay.

And you were talking about Black people and depression. I was like, is this a real thing? Oh, okay. Oh, you clean that up good girl. Black people and depression is deep, girl. You were talking with prime time comedian Donnell Rawlings. You know, because Black people don't believe in therapy. They'd be like, let's go for a walk.

Oh, I did it. If you go back to our first year of podcasting, she believe in therapy. They'd be like, let's go for a walk. Oh, I did it. If you go back to our first year of podcasting, she was in therapy and I was like, oh, that means you don't know yourself. Get like, not you ever. When I met my boyfriend and I asked him if he had ever been to therapy, he goes, I'm African. What the fuck are you talking about?

You know, like, and he has, he's the youngest one. Like there's, you know, first generation parents, they also like got money and moved to Connecticut. They were the only black kid, dark skinned, and has a white school. You know Connecticut is like, she, she. Oh my God, that's my best friend. She grew up in Vermont with me.

Black, so black. Oh my God. She talks about them. Okay. She's so black. She's so black. She's so black. She's so black.

We know that black guy and we know that black girl, and white people know it too. It's like the Carlton kind. And when white people see him, they're like, oh, he's one of them. Crazy. It's true. You don't wanna be problematic right now, but I'm telling you, I don't care who says that.

It's like Alabama Barker. What the fuck happened to this bitch? She's not white, white, no more. But I can't, I'm a little confused about Alabama. Is she like trying to cosplay Chola or is she trying to cosplay like what is it? I don't know. Why are we talking about the loser?

Bad Baby won that. I know. My girl Bad Baby. Bad Baby was on her movie. Yeah, she was on her movie. I like that little girl. But she just had some crazy shit. Her song was dope. Did you hear that clip where she was like, so. I like that little girl. She be rapping. Her song, go.

Did you hear that clipper where she was like, so you got a black guy one time, I'm supposed to break up a family? No, I saw that. It was a Camila Cabello. That was fucking crazy. I remember her like, father's in the hall, where's Travis? How the fuck did she get to that? I'm telling you right now, when I see white girls that start with this whole shit,

I'm terrified. Did you see the trend on Twitter right now? There's a new song by Machine Gun Kelly, and they're like, whoa, I've never seen a white guy cosplay being a white guy. Cause, did you see, did you see? But what's crazy is, that song is a bop. That's going to be the little tune for the pop radio station

It's gonna be good, but they're like machine gun Kelly who is who is this in this new music video right now? I don't like it and you know what? He's looking like Like he would have been on what's the one song I like girls that way ever crummy That was a ticket if I had one which I love it. First off, y'all are poor. Not commercials on YouTube. I know, okay.

Poor. Look at the fucking cop shirt. Y'all have $80 a month. Over the flare pants that works too. Wow. Look, look at him, he starts dancing. Who is this? Oh, this is cool.

With his wired headphones. I like this. Like, hold on, he starts dancing. I love it. Look at him. It's giving 90s pop. He's starting with black people in a music video, girl. He really changing. No, who is he? G-Eazy better not do this. Oh, they're there. They're in the back. Look, they're dancing though. Were you a G-Eazy fan? Yeah, look. No, no, no. I'm just saying like we need to keep our blood. Look at this. He's sliding across a bubbled car. This is Post Malone's fault, because he started with us, and now you,

what happened to him? Early Post Malone, when he was really messy on stage, and he would get fucked up, and he was fat and sweaty, and a little out of breath, oh, so hot. You know what happened? He did Beyonce's Country, Alvin. He was like, hold on, I'm getting close.

I'm getting close. I don't know what's going on, and I like dirty white boy look, but you could have started with that. Why you switched up on us? I don't like that. going on. And I like dirty white boy look, but you could have started with that. Why you switched up on us? I don't like that. We're gonna kick you out so that you're not late to your next show, by the way.

We're late. We're late. But you guys have to, please, please, please come back. Yes, for the audience that does read books, we have a book coming out, No Holes Barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. If you don't read books but like listening to bitches talk all day,

we do also have an audible version. So you could just listen to us do that. And then also if you pre-order it now, it does come out June 24th, but if you pre-order it because bitches like free shit, we are sending out a master class. So we literally, the dungeon that I talk about in the book, I go there and you get to see it What she sits down with a matchmaker?

We do like a BDSM 101 I go through like getting over a breakup because I talk about that in the book and this is all a free master class that You get between now and July 1st So literally literally go to our Instagram page decisions decisions underscore decisions decisions And there's a Masterclass form link. You upload your receipt, and we send you a code for the Masterclass. Incredible.

I am obsessed with you guys. Congrats to you both. Please be my best friend. Please let's have a sleepover. Oh my God, I want you to sleep over. I'm not gonna lie, I only want you to be my best friend, so I can be like, I got this bitch Ted in my name on that.

Oh my God. No, low key, I'm about to call all my friends and be like, what the what you didn't do? No, thank you all for having us. We're going to have to do another cross collab for sure. Listen to Decisions Decisions and get this book No Holes Barred and listen to that. We love you. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Thank you..