Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - No One Came To Andrea Jin's Birthday Party

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Trash Tuesday LIVE! January 28th at the Comedy Store. Tickets on sale now! https://www.showclix.com/event/trash-tuesday-2026-january  Andrea Jin and Rudy Jules are here in the New Year. We dive into childhood trauma, Andrea getting passed at The Comedy Store, Filipino funerals, and brand-new Titanic intel you definitely weren’t taught in school. Plus, we test our sanity in our very first Trash Tuesday game of Guess Who featuring some ICONIC characters. BTS, BONUS CONTENT AND MORE! Only on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast     Thank you to out sponsors: Thank you Better Help! www.BetterHelp.com/TRASHTUESDAY  Thank you bilt!  www.joinbilt.com/TRASHTUESDAY   Thank you Hers!  www.forhers.com/TRASHTUESDAY  *Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com *Visit Ebb Ocean Club & Holiday Shop* https://www.ebboceanclub.com/ for Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products! FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday  MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/  MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A   PRODUCTION:Studio Ten42: https://www.instagram.com/studioten42/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Arielle Jade (Editor): https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ Elisa Hernandez Kohler: https://www.instagram.com/ellie.lianna/ Megan Clements:  https://www.instagram.com/egggymeg/ 

I hate mine so much. What industry am I in? You guys. January 28th, Esther. What? The comedy store, Esther. What? Our live show, Dum Dum.

Oh, no. I'm going to be giving birth. This was your idea. I know. And I said yes too quickly. We've both betrayed ourselves. But it is going to be so fun and match. and special and like one of a kind special night.

We're also doing exclusive merch at the event. So if you're in L.A., January 28th, Slugs, we cannot wait to see you at our live show. We have many exciting things planned, including all the people you see today. And more. And more. And you guys, this is my only night out.

This is my only, I've never been, I haven't been out in almost two years, right? Jules, it's true. It is true. Yeah, this will be my only night out. this year. I am making an exception. We'll see you guys there. You get tickets at the link below. We can't wait. Guys, we have a Patreon and we have new bonus episodes every week. That's where you get the good stuff. We'd love to see you there.

Pingu! Hi Pingu! She did escape room yesterday. Oh, she did escape room? Yeah, she did. Oh my God, she's so cute. I need her. Esther is not above kidnapping. No, I know. No, I'm so. Oh my God. You are white donut. Oh my God.

You're so cute. I have to clean her. She smells good though. Okay, thank you. Wait, so you were saying that, which I think is very fair, that you're frustrated when you have to be like what's wrong and the person says nothing. I don't like it when I have to chase for an answer. Like if someone's temperature has changed. Yeah.

But maybe I'm being unfair in that, like, they don't even know what's wrong yet. And they need a moment to process. But I'm already being like, what's wrong? What's wrong? Tell me. So I'm sure that's also annoying. But it is really sucky to be feeling like you're being treated like someone's mad at you. And then they're like, no, everything's like that's horrible.

Yeah. Like, so that is a bad position that you're in. But then also I feel as though I've possibly been that person who's like a slow processor where I'm just like, I don't really know what's wrong. I need a moment. And if someone's already jumping on me, then, you know. You're not ready. I feel that.

I feel both of that. Yeah. Yeah. Did you have a fight this morning? Yeah. That's why I'm late. I also just want to say, I love my partner so much, so, so much. No better dad on earth.

But like, dating, when you're a parent and I'm an introvert, I am a homebody, I am a thoroughbred introvert. When you date a dad, who is a thoroughbred extrovert? Wow. And like, it is, it is tricky because it's like, hey, I'm fine, never leaving the home and staying with a baby and not having friends and just being a mom and that's my whole identity and I don't give a shit. But like, that's not what makes him happy.

And I'm just now I'm mad that that doesn't make him happy. You know what I mean? I'm like, why can't you just be home with us all day? Why doesn't that make you happy? So last year, day. Dave and I, we got an Airbnb in Palm Springs for a week. Wait, around this time of year because of fires. So we did that, but then we ended up doing it again.

It was just a week of just us in Palm Springs. And like day three, Dave was like, are you feeling like a little like, I could use some friends? And I'm like, I'm doing great. Just me and you and the baby locked away. Like, just making dinners. Like, I was so perfectly just set. And it was the same thing.

I was like, but I was just, I just felt bad for him. I wasn't, like, mad about it. I was like, oh, that sucks. Like, I love this. And you don't. But see, you're healthier than me. I'm like. No, we all have our own.

I don't understand why you don't just love, like, staying in forever. Yeah. No, I get that. Right? Yeah. No, it was my birthday like two days ago and then I just wanted to be in a hotel Like alone? Alone?

With the person that I've been like dating and then he was he was kind of like, should we go see A movie? I'm like, no, I don't want to. I want to be in, I just want to sit here. Yeah. Yeah. I want to order room service and I just want to sit here. Yes, that's the dream.

Yeah. I don't want to go down to the restaurant. Sometimes Dave will be like, well, could we watch a show? And I'm like, well, I thought we were hanging out. Yeah. I know. I don't want to stare at the screen. I don't talk.

Although it's very extroverted, though. Like, he's like, he knows everyone in the building. And he's just like, yeah, he's like friends with like my 90 year old neighbor now. They only know him. They're like, what's your wife's name? They don't know me at all because I never like leave, right? But yeah, everyone in the building knows him. Like, he's just like a sweetie pie like that.

But then I maybe I'm trying to like. stifle him or something. I don't know. But you have all this awareness of it. Awareness means nothing. Do you not learn that in therapy? You can know all about your problems and like not fix them. That's true. I do that. I still think it's a big step though. Awareness. But people say that but I won't ever do anything. Like what if I never do anything to improve? Can I ask you about it? Is it because there are people that truly like love their problems? It could be that. No, I don't. Maybe. But. It adds some type of level of like story and meaning to their lives.

It could be that. But also I hate personally, I hate change. Okay. Yeah. So that in itself is enough to keep me from doing anything. I think they say like that's a therapist's worst nightmare. People who are overtly self-aware, but we can intellectualize everything. So we think that that's enough.

But you actually have to execute. Yeah. You actually have to do the work to change the. problem, not just say, I am the problem. Now you got to go stop being the problem. I would argue that knowing you're the problem is still huge. It is huge. Yeah, because some people don't have that at all. Yeah. Because once you cross past with someone who doesn't know they're the problem, you're going to regret what you're saying. You're going to run back to people that know they're the problem, even if they're not fixing it. I agree. Because at least they're not being combative. Yeah. They're not like fighting back and being

super defensive. Yeah, I've had that. That's really bad too. But I know what you mean about like liking your problems because like sometimes life without problems is really boring. You got to get something stirring. Especially in your 20s and 30s and like you don't really have you know, you're grasping a straws where what am I going to do with this life? What am I going to? And so you're just like really like there's a girl that Jules and I know and she will endlessly talk about how what horrible relationship she's in, but she will never get out of it. And I think it's just sport at this point to, like, complain about him and then go back and forth with him, right?

Yeah, I feel like everyone's had that friend. And I thought, told Jules, I was like, I think she just likes her problem. And honestly, you just have to accept it so you don't feel frustrated with him. Yeah, at this point, I don't really care that much anymore, but like, she's broken up with the guy, like, five times already. Whoa. So, okay, what do you do in that situation as the friend? Nothing.

One of them has to die. You know? I don't. But do you keep picking up the phone and being there? Or like? Yeah, but like I, I just care less now. You just stop investing. You're like, oh, it's the same bullshit.

Yeah, I listen, but I just don't care. I don't care for the guy. Yeah, I kind of just start going like, oh. Yeah. Well, you know, that's how it is. Or sorry. You don't just like your one-liner. Oh, interesting.

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, bummer. Yeah. You good? You know? Maybe just go outside. Yeah. Like some stuff like that.

Well, I'm here for you. Just be a passive listener, basically. Yeah. Because you know they're going to do it again. Yeah. She's just like, okay. So how did you guys leave it this morning? I left it.

I just left. When they fight, everyone knows. Even when it's like silent and quiet. I feel like everyone knows that they're fighting. Silence is scary. And my mom and I are just like always tiptoeing. Oh no, that doesn't make me happy. No, I feel bad.

It's not like every day that you guys are fighting. No, no. It's, I will say like first year of parenthood, don't make relationship. Don't make any decisions about your relationship. You have to tell yourself, you know, I chose this person. I love this person. It's just early parenthood is tough. Also, I feel like you guys are.

are so new. Mm-hmm. It's like I can't even imagine. Like you guys are like still dating. The advice you give about like, no, just have a baby with whoever. And you stand by that. Like, I'm like, do not. Do not tell girls that.

Did I say that? Yes. Whoever. Wait, did I really say that? Yes. Delete the tape. Anyone. That's bad.

That's really bad. I have to make a defense against you. Okay. So my sister, when she was little, she was diagnosed with this rare blood disorder called spherocytosis, which I had just deleted out of my mind because it's about my sister and like, who cares? When she had that, she had to be in antibiotics for 10 years. I was telling Kyle about this because anytime I have anything medical, I just have to, my nurse needs to know. Like, it needs to go on my chart. I'm charting as I know. And she's like, Esther, you should really be nicer to your sister because that's, that. That's really like a lot. But also this is after you said she had her whole spleen remove, the whole organ removed. Don't you figure if they could just take it out? Like you didn't need it?

I mean, there's the whole reason. Do you know how big the spleen is? And it takes up a lot of your abdomen. There's probably a reason why it is also there. So that's why she was skinny. Yeah, I was going to say that sounds so skinny. Like an extra rib. Right?

It's in the abdomen. That's where the skinny part is. So I was thinking about, you know, you said you should be nicer to your sister. I'm like, I get it. But I don't know. Something doesn't sit right with me. Yose says that she has Hashimoto's. Yeah, okay.

What is that? That's another beautiful woman. Sorry. I'm being insensitive. No, no. So then I'm like, why am I mean? What is it? And then you know what?

No, my sister showed me herself and why the things are the way. they are. She texts me yesterday. Just a random text. I'm going to pull it up. And I'm going to also say trigger warning. If you are pregnant or if you are anything to do with babies or motherhood, just trigger warning for this, because this is like really traumatic to read. Last text was my mom saying, I watched TT. It was good, which by the way, my mom, we have follow up questions for you. Then my sister, childbirth is. very scary, which is why I did not want a third child. Trigger warning. That's me, not her. Babies die or babies become handicapped during childbirth or already had a handicap that wasn't

known until they're born or mothers die. End of text. And I just write, thanks for this reminder, you psycho. Like that's her torture, right? I might be like, oh, you're stupid, you're wrong. But she's like, it's like a deep, scary. Is she on the spectrum? I think so. It sounds like someone who is just like, I got to get this information to her. Right. Like without any like ill, like malintent or anything like that, she's just like, I need this.

I need her to know this. In case you haven't, you don't know this. No, I do think she's on the spectrum and undiagnosed. And I actually do think that. And when I remember that, it does help me digest her. personality because she's really weird. Yeah, that is crazy. That would send me into a spiral. I just needed you to see like it's a level playing field. Yeah, level playing field. Splain or no spleen? Like, I think it's fair. Right. That's right. Sorry. You can have Hashimoto's and be

really mean. What does a spleen do? It breaks down red blood cells. It needs to be broken down. Mm-hmm. For what? For why? For why? Everything needs to be broken. Everything needs to be broken. Old red blood cells. So what's happening now? Because you have new red blood cells, right? Yeah.

The old red blood cells need to be broken down and then eventually processed by your liver. So how does she break down the new red blood cells now? By being mean to me. By telling me this plane might crash just so you know. Wow. Do you know planes crash? Yeah. And then hundreds of people die.

Literally the flight is taking off. She turns to me. I'm just a little kid. She's like, sometimes when planes take off, they just blow up randomly. Oh, my God. Yeah. I didn't stand a chance to be normal. Is that true?

No. No, they don't randomly blow up. Okay. They don't? What? I think they can. What? Yeah.

But guys. Guys, no, we're not doing that out there in the new year. Think about how many planes take off every day. Yeah. No, no. Jules, how was your date? Oh, I didn't go. What?

What happened? I realized she just wasn't my vibe. Oh, so you were like, nah. Maybe it's kind of judgy, but like, on her Instagram, it's very like, I don't know. Like, she wants to be like an influencer, influencer. And I just feel like I just can't vibe with that. What is the specific of wanting to be an influencer that you're... She's just always posting about her face, about her, like, her things that she bought, and, like, always just her face, her face.

Oh, that is an ick for you. I think with guys and girls. Like, Jules is very, like, anti-selfie, anti-posting your face a lot. Like, it's fine if you can post, like, a couple, but, like, every post is just that. And, like, I don't know. She just wanted me to chase and I don't want to chase. Oh, oh. I was just like, oh, I can't make it on babies.

I can't make it. You use my baby as an excuse on a Saturday night. Yeah. Doing like an overnight like being sick. Oh, yeah, yeah. I know it sucks, but. Do you have any other prospects? No.

Wait, Kalila, you mentioned your mom was playing basketball? Yeah, it's a Lexapro. Dude, my mom started Lexapro and she just recently upped her dose. And now she's like learning to play basketball. That's sick. Baller now. That's cool. Dude, and let me say something.

My mom's whole thing is, like, she raised two Division I One athletes. And part of the reason why she did that is because she was like, I was too poor to have access to sports. Yet I was put in a body of an athlete because my mom's exact, right? And she always says, God, if I had your, like, privilege, she's like, I would have been an Olympian. And I'm like, well, like, would you have, like, you know, this.

But now she's trying to get into the WNBA. So now at 65, she's on Lexa Pro and she's like, I have aspirations to be not just an athlete. Like she's practicing every day in her backyard. You know, all you hear is just the fucking backboard. Just bang, back. And she's making the shots, guys. My stepdad walks out and he's like, that's not how you shoot. Because like her form's not great.

She doesn't have a coach. And she's like, oh, yeah. And she's just making basket after basket. How do you feel about this? do you feel, because obviously what's coming up for me is I'd be like, mom, you don't have time for your own hobbies. You should focus on me. Like, is any of that happening?

No, I'm really happy for her. Like, her muscles have to be. I always thought her muscles were decorative because I'm like, how are you so jacked but like, play nothing? Because like, when I had muscles, like, they had to work. And I'm like, you just look good just to look good. Like, you got to fucking be an athlete. Are you and your sister both taller than your mom?

Yeah. My mom's five, six. But she's still tall. I could see like if I birth two like tall athletic daughters, I'd be like, oh, maybe I am tougher than I thought. Like I would get into that. It would inspire me to join the WNBA. So I think I'm going to try and find her like a senior basketball league or something. Yeah.

Or she can just like, of all the sports of basketball was like really not in my, like I would have never thought she would have chosen that. She's so aggressive with the ball too. I know. That's what I'm saying. All right here is the backboard. I'm like, hey, you can shoot softly. It goes into the basket It doesn't have to hit the board every time

She's strong She's so strong She puts all her might into it Do you guys ever play with her? Sometimes But not Look at Esther when she hears about sports Gross

Ew Scary scary I know I used to play sports But begrudgingly What did you play I played volleyball, basketball And softball

Oh my God But I didn't want to That was the only way to make friends all Everybody, that was the only thing to do. Were you good at any of them? I was the last to make the team, but good enough to make it. Yeah. So thankfully, that was my thing in high school, but like I was the slowest on the team.

And the balls always make their ways to my head. They always hit my head because my head's big. I have a big head, so it's just more surface area. And then it just comes to my, and then I always get hit in the head and everybody's like, ha-ha. It's so embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. And I had to go to the nurse's office, which I hated. He hated it.

So you never played like dodge ball growing up. Whatever you do in gym class is what I did. Yeah, they played dodge ball, right? I guess. I don't know. Yeah, that's like a thing. But I had a doctor's note for swimming. Why?

Oh, because your ears, your ear tubes. I bet you were happy about that. I was happy about that. I hate how swimming was mandatory. I know. Why? How could they make you go in a swimsuit at school? Yeah, that's a weird time too

Because like your your bush is all over the place Yeah It's like very like weird growth pattern Yeah and what am I supposed to do like Shave it? I'm not gonna shave it I'm a child When you first saw like hair growing down there

It was like I remember the day I was like oh my god Bulbul Like it was scared It was like wispy patch Yeah And you're like oh hell no This is weird Yeah

Weird Wait, Andrea, what's been going on with you? Like, we haven't seen you in so long. You've been touring. How has traveling been going? It's fun. A lot of traveling. What have I been doing?

Has Bobby been bullying you? Sometimes, but not as much because I've been away so much. Yeah. And then Pingu's with Kalila and Aloha a lot and Jules. Well, did you do, Bobby said you got in the comedy store. Oh, yeah, you just got passed. Oh, yeah, I just got passed. Really?

Yeah, I just got past. It's cute. Congratulations. December 30th. Before the New Year. So it was really fun. How did it go? Like, do you have like a story?

Oh my God. It was scary. I had to follow Rick Ingram. Oh, I see. That's so hard. Yeah. And he was like crushing. And then, but Rose, like, she,

she wanted to put me in that situation to see what I would do. Yeah. And then I, for immediately, first line that I say, first joke I say, usually gets a laugh, didn't get a laugh. I would first sentence and I was like oh no I'm like a little shaken but but Bobby said to me after he was like no you handle that great you weren't like you weren't shaken by it or anything and I was like I just don't know how to act any other way like even me being shaken is still me talking like this you know what I mean you have one setting yeah I don't know how to do it but then people think

that's like oh she's holding it together I don't know how to do other stuff. But then thank you. I'll take it. And then did the set, like, did you win them over eventually? Yes. You felt good about it or did you? I felt bad because it wasn't a crush.

Like, because Rick Ingram was, like, crushing. He's really good, but he was doing a lot of crowd work, which is really fun for the audience, you know? It's really hard to follow that. It's hard. And then I did a little bit, like, I did mostly material. So for material, it was. it went as well as it could. Yeah.

And after I didn't feel like great about it. And before the set, Rose was saying she was going to see me a couple times. So I wasn't expecting anything. But then after the set, I went outside, I talked to Bobby. And then I went back to get my bag. And then she was like, oh, I'll walk out with you. And I was like, okay. And then Rose was like, like, you handled that really well.

That was a tough situation. I put you in a tough situation. I was going to see you a couple times. But you handle that so well that. I think I'm just going to pass you right now And I was like, oh my God, I got Bobby's like over here listening He's crying and then I'm like oh my God And then I look at him I see him crying I'm crying

He was crying He cried It was really sweet Sorry to make a disgusting face I know you're making a disgusting face It's Bobby's like sincere fake cry But it's still crying Wait it's fake

It's all always fake Because it made me cry And then I was crying And then Rose was like Oh Which is it, but she was, she was so nice. I love Rose. I love her.

She's amazing. Yeah. But she, that was so lovely. And she really gave me a fun New Year's surprise. That's so cool. That's so cool. Yeah. Is it worth crying over?

I'm questioning, especially for Bobby. But I am really excited. That's congratulations. I was. It is a big deal. Yes. I'm very excited about it. And I do feel like everything is getting harder and harder and much more competitive.

So it's a. really big deal. Yes, I'm excited. And I heard you get like a pizza party. Oh, I didn't get that. Oh, okay. Okay, maybe I'm wrong, but somebody told me you get like a pizza party. But this is actually a good part of my story if I do get the pizza party because I was telling, because it was also near my birthday. I was telling my friends about how when I was 10 years old, I had a pizza party. I tried to have a pizza party, but it got snowed in. And then nobody came. Yeah. And then all my friends called me one by one being like, oh my God, we can't come. Like so sorry. I hope other people. I was 10. That's horrible. Yeah. And it was like so snowy. And only I spoke English in my household. So my

grandma was like, nobody's coming. So I had to tell my family nobody was coming. And then I had to cancel the pizzas. Oh, that is core memory trauma. That is really. Does that come up like every day for you? Wait a second though. But then imagine if you had an immediate pizza party because this is when it was like atmospheric rain in L.A. And everyone would have canceled on your adult pizza party. No, every time I try to have a birthday because January 5th is cursed because it's right after New Year's right after Christmas nobody wants to do anything anymore it's a slow season to riot the next day and then yeah people want to Altaena wildfires the next next day yeah people want to go crazy yeah yeah they want to like do damage you know so they don't want to celebrate like a birthday so then um and the weather is bad

Yeah, snow, rain. But anyway, so every time I've ever tried to have, like, a birthday, it's always been, like, monsoon or something. Or, like, snowstorm. Yeah. But then, so I had to, like, cancel the pizzas. Oh, no. I feel like there needs to be, like, a redemption pizza party in, like, the biggest way. But that's what I mean.

Like, I feel like if I do get that pizza party, that would be cool. That would be fun. But it's okay if not. No worries, if not. I'll be fine. I have any like childhood core trauma stories like that. Of course. What do you? Don't even finish that sentence. My one big one was like I, we were all at my aunt's house in Wisconsin.

Hours went by and I'm like, where are all the other kids? And I'm just sitting there listening to my boring mom and aunts all talk to each other for hours. Come to find out like they're all hiding in the attic playing without me. My sister being the ringleader. No. Just everyone's playing without me. Yeah, that's horrible. And I feel like I feel that all the time in adulthood.

Oh. Yeah. Jules, what's yours? I wore like shorts to school. And then all the boys and the girls in my class were just like, why are your legs so brown? Like, you look like a monkey. Oh, my God. With that, I was just so ashamed.

After that, I was just so ashamed with my color. And you never wore show. Of course not. Yeah. That's so fucked up. And they would be laughing. It's like, why, like, they were just like the boys. Like, why is it so dark?

You look like. I think I've told this before, but when I was at the like public pool and I took off my some suit cover, I heard girls from my high school go, I didn't know she was fat. Oh my God. Kids are so. Well, at least I was hiding it. Mine came from my own family. I was really into rocks.

like when I was like seven, eight and nine and I spent three months. There weren't just rocks. Don't roll your eyes at me, lady. I was some dumb kid just like rocks, rocks, you know?

I knew specifically certain types of like quartz and certain rocks that I found to be very, you know, and I would crack them. I would crack them and find them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I didn't have a lot of like free time because my whole childhood was swimming, right?

So I was like, I swam in a morning and I swam at night. I did school in between. between. So in my free time, so my sister's birthday is in July, probably right around like March. I started cracking rocks. And I'm like, I'm going to make this entire collection of courts for her and wrap it up in a box and gift it to her in July. So come July, my whole family, like 30, 40 people, all the kids, everyone, she's opening all her gifts. And she's like, oh my God, thank you so much. And now it was my turn to give my gift. So I give her, I give her this big box, this big box of

courts and she opens it and she's like wow and then everyone's like what is it and then my mom pulls it from her hand and she bursts out laughing and she goes oh my god she goes it's just batto it's just stone it's just rock and she passes it around and everyone is laughing that i gifted my sister just rocks what the just rocks and they were like is this kid like abnormal she literally gifted her sister like rocks from outside. And I burst, I like ran upstairs and I cried and I never went back downstairs because I was like too embarrassed. I spent three months.

I could like cry thinking about it. No. It is so sad because it's like you were clearly so passionate about it. I just like, this is why I fucking hate people with crystals because it's so triggering for me. Because now I like literally shit on people with crystals. I'm like, you guys are so basic and dumb. But then I'm like, oh no, this is coming from a wounded place of. like not being allowed to like rocks.

I get annoyed when people do their birthday too crazy. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I understand where that's coming from. Wait, this is, I just saw this on TikTok where it's like, hey, check on the people who don't celebrate their birthdays. Because there's usually something like there's a wound there. They're not addressing.

Right. Yeah. Oh my God. It's the same. Well, how do you feel about people who celebrate? I hate them. Yeah. I'm like, you overindulgent.

You self-indulgent. Yeah. Why do you deserve? Why do you think you deserve this party? Let's really dig into this because you're the same. You're just like, oh, my birthday, who cares? So what happened to you guys? Well, those things.

Yeah, yours is the pizza party is pretty extreme. And then every year I've tried again, it was always like, we're not coming. Even if the weather was good? Yeah. No one's going. Do you celebrate your birthday? Yeah, I always celebrate with, um, it's a collage. We're getting to the bottom of this.

It wasn't the weather. No one was going to come to her home. We're not going to come. Stop inviting us. We hate you. Stop trying. But anyway. Sorry, Jules.

I think it's like more normal. I think you guys are just Filipino. And so you guys make a big deal about everything. Like you guys celebrate. Hell yeah, baby. We celebrate at funerals. If someone dies, They're like karaoke, yeah.

Like, we go all out. The biggest party you'll ever go to is Filipino funerals. You think one day... It's so nice. Yeah. It's so really. This is real? If you get invited to a Filipino funeral, you have to go.

Because it's like a huge celebration. There's so much food? It's a rager. So much drinks. Drinking, dancing, karaoke. And you think it's one day. No, bitch. It's weeks long.

Yeah. This is real. Yes. Yes. I swear. I know you. guys like sit Shiva and I really like the whole idea of it. It's really like meaningful. But no, like we're allowed and full of party when someone dies. That is awesome. So when I die,

you know, do it up. Okay. I have to get like a sparkly dress. Yeah. You have. It's prom themed. So I know I talk about this like every six months, but I have to bring it up again. I, we need to talk about the Titanic. Why? Because. There is a new documentary series on the BBC called Titanic Sinks Tonight. Are you just on some newsletter about the Titanic? I'm on an algorithm, okay? Okay. And I guess I had to like buy an illegal VPN to watch it last night.

It was very complicated. But it is unlike anything I've ever seen. It's a drama series, but it is shot like a documentary where they have actors sort of like giving their story. They're survivors of the Titanic, but it's based on like actual survivor account. So they're acting out like they're being interviewed like in a reality show like how, you know, their person's sitting there. And it is so realistic and I'm learning so much. Are they basing it off of real life people that were on? Okay. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. This is, it's so real and accurate. There's never been anything like this before about the Titanic.

Okay, and I've learned a few things I want to share. First of all, they don't show this in the movie, but there is actually a warning that icebergs were ahead. But the guy who was like, who received the warning was busy sending out telegrams or something, like for the passengers that he was like too busy to take the warning. And a lot of people were like, well, that was he fucked it all up. But then when they look back at it, the warning didn't have like the proper code that says like, you know, this is an emergency and so he didn't treat it as such yeah so preventable okay wait he was like texting yeah he was the equivalent of texting vibes yeah oh my god texting vibes wait I need to look at my notes actually hold on that's bad yeah there's a lot we don't know what was he saying to people

just literally messages like ship is good not no illness like that was it was like four word what's everybody doing. I'm so bored up here. One of the big reasons, like more first class passengers survived is actually because they had good relationships with the crew and like the people in charge. So they knew that it was, they were like, no, you need to go on lifeboats. And I've said this before. People call me crazy where I'm like, if I was on the Titanic, I wouldn't be rushing to

get in a lifeboat because I wouldn't, it doesn't look good to get in a lifeboat. And this is what this show is saying, basically, that all the survivors are like, we didn't know. No one was rushing to get in a lifeboat because we didn't know it was going to sink. Even while it was sinking, they're like, we didn't think it was going to go down. Like, it just, there was no urgency to get off the ship. And for a while, they thought that actually what was going to happen was people would get in lifeboats, be shuttled to a safe ship, and then the lifeboats would come back. And like, there would be so much time. that you could just it would be no issue Get on whenever Yeah They didn't realize It was gonna sink

Literally within like An hour and a half Yeah it's like When your building Is doing alarms And it's like no Oh I don't do that no Yeah

Oh no no I don't know But you're right Yeah College campus If I look at everyone Who's walking slow Like a fucking moron

Wow If I hear one alarm I'm sprinting High knees High knees What? You're out of there Yeah, I'm in my car and I'm not even in my car.

I'm driving the fuck away in case that thing blows up. I don't fuck around with that stuff. One time in high school, someone lit up like an M80 just like a firework in the tunnel. Everyone like ducked down. Like like I thought it was like a gunshot. Me and my sister trampled over all of their bodies and like ran like blocks away from school. We're like, oh, we're fucking out of here. Like I don't fuck around with alarms.

When the carbon monoxide was alarmed. went off at Tito Bobby's house. I wasn't really alarmed. What's wrong with you guys? But then Atikala made me panic. But before that, I was angry. I'm sorry. I made you panic.

If the alarm, which is a brand new alarm, is saying carbon monoxide leave. And I call the gas company and I said, hey, this is what it's saying. They were like, get out now. And I'm telling all of them. And Bobby's like, I don't smell anything. I'm like, duh, bitch. It's carbon monoxide. That's exactly my people.

You open a window, it's okay. No, it's not. Everyone was saying, George, Gilbert, was like, just open a window. And then I think I was like, no, get out. No, I carry, everywhere I travel. I carry a carbon monoxide detector. You do? I don't know they made those.

They do. Yeah, you can buy them on TikTok. They're really cool. Wait, so, was it a leak? Yeah, what's the real thing that happened? They couldn't even figure it out. I don't know, but it was raining and there's so many leaks on the roofs. And I think one of the, like, the leak was on.

the carbon monoxide alarm. Oh, really? And I think that's why. Well, anyways, I call the gas guy. I'm like, you gotta go over there immediately. So he had to. But then meanwhile, and I'm like, everyone, please step out, take all the cats and dogs,

put him in the car, and no one was listening to me. And I was getting pissed off, like, more and more. No, I was listening. I was taking all the dogs and the cats. But Tito Bobby was like, I'm just going to play my games. I'm not going to die. It's fine.

And then I think I got mad at him. Yeah. I'm with you. I remember, like, couple years ago, I was staying, I was at my parents' house, but it was just me and my dad for a night. And I was sleeping in the basement. And there was this like severe tornado warning literally for our area. Well, that's so scary. And I go upstairs. I'm like, dad. Because you watch Twister was a big, yeah, no, I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm like, dad, there's a tornado warning. Doesn't wake up.

Dad, there's a tornado warning. Doesn't wake up. I'm like, I guess I'll just give up. So I just go back to sleep and the next morning I'm like you didn't he's like don't ever try to wake me up for that again I'm with you though I'm I'm scared of everything he's ready to be swept Yeah he didn't care my last Titanic fact which I think you I'm curious to hear you guys relate to it is that a lot of the passengers were immigrants This is a ship taking them to America. It's like so fancy and that it's it's very common that immigrants have like this blind trust in American systems and institutions because they're like, oh, this is like the perfect, good, right thing. So I'm just going to like trust it. And I feel like you've talked about stuff like that before. Where we really put like Western anything on a pedestal.

Back then, not anymore. But back then you're like, oh, this must be the way. I didn't realize though that Titanic was an American vessel. I don't know that it was, but it was taking them to America. Yeah. I don't know if it was like European. I think it was America. I don't know. I don't actually know.

That's like the same way I feel if I see a celebrity on the same flight as me. I'm like, oh, this is not going down because so-as-so is on here. The pilot's going to be more careful. But didn't you feel like that? Like when you, I feel like you've said in the past like when your doctor molested you, sorry to bring that out. You can bring the bananas out. Please.

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have, but then we were like, wow, the American, like, medical system is so thorough with her checkups. Oh. And so I just thought that Filipino doctors were just not doing what they needed to and that they should have really, like, prodded my asshole more. Wow. But that's such a fucked up example. It is. It wasn't until I went to nursing school where they were just like, oh, here we need,

you go through, like, regular physical exam. Oh, yeah. I didn't know. I didn't know. I was just like, I guess every time I go to the doctor, I need a pelicans. exam and he was my I didn't I didn't I wasn't getting a pap smear nothing he literally fingered me every single time what my god um but yeah oh hello banana phone jules did you like have anything where you really trusted america and it was not correct to do so i think when i was just in the philippines

like whenever they uh we would have like foreign exchange students from america we would just always be like even when he was just like speaking in english we would just be like oh he's so smart he knows everything like we would just be so amazed and like his lunch would just be like a turkey sandwich and ours would just be like adobe and rice and we'd be like that's so like that's probably baloney yeah and we would always like ask them like can we have it and we will exchange it for our like adobe or whatever puns it and he was just like no and but we would i would just be so amazed wow it's all an illusion though Yeah, of course. I grew up reading all of Sweet Valley High books.

And it just really romanticized like high school here. And then I come here and I'm like, well, this ain't it. What the fuck was that those books about? Yeah, I thought high school would be like high school musical here. Yeah, me too. Really? Yeah. Because she had the same thing.

Like so growing up in the Philippines and then moving here, the culture shock is really having this idea of what high school is going to be like here. And then being like, oh, this ain't it. And it's so isolating and like not fun. right? Not fun at all. Wow. Why did you think it would be like high school musical? I don't know because I watched high school musical. Oh. And then I was like, but then I was in high school already.

Huh? And then I was like, this is not like that. What's going on? Where am I? Well, I was in Canada. So then I was like... Is that where you're from? Yeah, like Canada and then I was born in China.

But then I moved to Canada when I was like eight, nine, ten-ish. Yeah. But I went to high school with like all. Asian kids. We weren't doing high school musical stuff. The high schools here are so isolating. I feel like it's so different in the Philippines. What's different about it? I just feel like there's so much like community and like people are just so much nicer and like just more fun. And here it's just, everyone's just doing their own thing. It's very nuclear here. Nuclear family is like back home, I think. That was my biggest shock too is like.

you guys don't give your teacher's Christmas presents. Oh. Yeah. Like you guys don't know your teachers. There's no Christmas party. Yeah, there's no Christmas party. Like every year we had a Christmas party with each other, with a whole school with other grades. Yeah.

And we did a gift exchange and then we did a food drive. Did you guys have boys? Yeah, of course. There's always that. But still just the overall feeling of community is so much deeper where I went to school, I feel. And over here it was like. every man for himself and I didn't like it. So like even now, because, you know, my baby's so young still, but every day I'm like, should I go back home? Should I go back home? Should I raise him back home?

Because I love all of my friends that I went to school with in the Philippines are still my friends. And when I go back home, it's like no time has passed. Like there's such an implicit trust I have in them because we shared this childhood that was so communal and tight. That just checks out so accurately because it's like the whole thing with America. It's like there's no village, there's no community, like there's no unity. Yeah, it is weird. I don't, I guess this is like so that billionaires can exist. So that's why they make us isolated.

I don't know. I think so. It's definitely for some kind of workforce. Yeah. Signs that a woman is a loser. You want to go there? Whoa. So it turns out women can be losers.

Oh, my God. I didn't know this. I know. Don't you feel like. The word loser is really just, it's given to men a lot. You don't hear it being thrown around about girls, women. I'll throw it around. Yeah.

Yeah. Tell me who. I'll do it. Well, there's this conversation on TikTok right now that's like basically, no, women can be losers. I agree. And we kind of need to like think about that a little bit. Can I say what they kind of, what comes to mind for me? Please. A pick me. A pick me girl is loser energy. That is big loser energy. Yeah. So yes, girls can be loserish. But what is it scientifically? So basically, like scientifically per one person's TikTok. Yeah. If you have a friend that is like often comparing themselves to another woman, that's loser behavior. This is an easy one. But like if every conversation ends up being about a man, that's loser behavior. That's loser behavior.

if they don't have hobbies, loser behavior. But that, okay, do you agree with that? Because you're very anti-hobby. I feel that I have all of these in some way. Me too. I do too. As you're saying them, I'm like, oh, no.

Yeah. I was like, oops. No, I feel very, like I'm qualifying in each. Talking about others for no reason. Oh, no. But I love to, like, gossip. Yeah. I'm sorry.

I feel like. Who is this girl that's saying this? I think she's a, she's celebrity. But you guys, just because we all are relating doesn't mean that it's not true. Yeah,

I think it's not true. Because we all have loserishness. Oh, I have some. I'm okay being a loser. Yeah, me too. I have so fucking bum-ass personality traits for sure. I'm a fucking bum in anyways. No, I think we're all cool.

Who is this woman that's saying this stuff? Who is she? Who is she? And then these ones, I think, are bigger, better examples. But if like, if a person is celebrity obsessed.

Although that I would argue to, it's like, well, just that's something fun. That could be a hobby. This sounds like a woman hating list. Is this a very judgy thing? Not disciplined and if they date losers. I'm not disciplined. I do not agree with a dating losers. I think as a girl, you are bound to date several losers at some point and not realize it

until you're out of them. I feel like you guys are being way too defensive about this. And like, it's okay. to be a loser a little bit. Yeah, you're right. Like, who cares? But I feel like we're not being sympathetic of, or empathetic of the woman's experience. I feel like everything you're saying is a female experience.

Especially comparing ourselves to other women. Like, I feel like men do that. I feel like that has been done to us. That we now feel like there's something better we have to chase or something we have to be better than her in order to be. That's something that they did to us. That's not something that we created ourselves as losers. Sometimes we could take it too far. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. When someone does take this like loserish, jealous, competitive, whatever version of it, whether it's the jealousy, whether it's they have no hobbies or they're talking about others for no reason or they're dating a dating losers.

Like it's almost like that then manifests itself into like you being a loser. Right. Like if you're so in on that, yes, that's loser behavior, but then it's like, look at the rest of your life. And like, you're not doing well because you're too consumed, right? Yeah. But it's like if you're just like dabbling in being a loser, but you can still like get up and do the day and. That's me. Yeah. That's me.

That's us. Yeah, then we dabble in loser behavior for sure. Yeah, but you still like are doing the thing. And like you said, like use that juice to like get you from point to point B and don't let it consume you. Maybe this is all nonsense and we're just like making stuff up as we go. But I do feel there's maybe something here. Yeah, because I don't necessarily like, like my partner doesn't, we've talked about this. Like my partner doesn't shit talk like ever. Same. But I'm like, I need friends that do. I need friends to have a little bit of a,

hey, give me the intel. Because, you know, it's, I feel like it's honestly self-protective. It's like some type, it's gossip and that is like self-president. You have to know who's the villain, you know, in the neighborhood. So you're careful. Yeah. Like, it's just intel. Yeah, I think if it's not consuming you, it's like, whatever. I don't know.

Right. Whatever. We're losers. It's fine. This is the loser podcast. No. No, we're doing good. Everybody's good.

Yeah. No, it's different. We're doing it differently. It's nice and cool. We're just dipping our toe in. Okay. So we're playing guess who? Did you play? Guess who when you were younger?

I don't think it was a stressful game. We're going to need you guys to, once the headbands are in position, just close your eyes for a second as they put the people on so you don't see it and cheat. And is your head too big? Yeah, my head's so huge. My two. I'm like, I don't know if this is going to fit. All right, we're coming in.

So you'll ask one question and then the next person. Do I know this person? I don't know. I can't answer that. Can you stand yours up? Oh, yeah. Your dick went to live. It's a little top heavy.

There he go. I still don't know. know what that is. I do, I do, I do. I do. Yeah. This is fun. Yeah. Okay. We would, how do we play? Okay. First person will ask one question and then the next person will ask a question, right? About, about their person. You have to say, am I, uh, you're trying to figure out who you have? Is it a guy? Is it a guy? No. No. No. Okay. Okay. Next. Okay. Is it a guy? Yes. Yes. Oh. Is it a guy? Yeah. Is it a guy? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah.

I hope yeah. Yeah. Am I like in the music industry? Uh, sometimes. But not really. Aspiring. Yeah. Am I?

Old? Middle age. Yeah. Oh, middle age. Young middle age. Am I extremely talented? Yeah. Definitely.

Um, um. Am I someone? Am I someone who, uh, am I talented? What? What at the fuck am I?

What is everything? Honestly, otherworldly. What the fuck is going on? You got some fucking, some, some, some, some. Oh, no, no, I didn't see. I didn't see. The talent is, is, it's a bit.

It's, it's, it's. Legend. mythical you got mythical talent but almost like loserish yeah yeah like loserish thirsty loserish in the way that kind of we were okay yeah okay okay okay am I like famous on TikTok yeah yes yeah okay am I talented yeah oh unfortunately unfortunately though unfortunately oh no am I still relevant today yeah yeah timeless yeah I hate mine so much what industry am I in

why is that funny though why is that funny help me know why that's funny I would say okay let's be serious let's be serious I'll think about what industry you're in what fuck you guys I would say thievery manipulation Robber. Okay. So I'm a criminal. Yeah.

Yeah. I think criminal. Think of the words mythical. Criminal. Otherworldly. Is this girl like young? Middle age. Oh, she's my age.

Oh, she's yeah. Not middle. Yeah. Esther's age. Okay. Is he canceled? Yes. Oh.

She might win. Yeah. Okay. Hang on. Wait. My is hard. Mine is hard? Yeah.

Am I in a movie? No. That's not your industry. No. Am I a person? You were once a person. You're once a person. But then what happened?

A lot of things happened. What's like her job? She's just like an influencer? Yeah, she's part influencer. She's big on TikTok. She's my age. I want to take a stab at mine. How the hell do you want to do?

I'm so curious what your stab will be. Because you said he was extremely talented. Like, oh, my God, oh my God. So, and then you're like, that's it. And then you said that mine was hard. So I'm like, it can't be a celebrity. Is he?

Yours like you should get. They say you ask for race. No. Sorry. Sorry. I was going to ask. I was going to ask. I was going to word it like, what is race wise?

He's black. Is it Bill Cosby? No. No. Keep going. Is he alive? Yeah. Oh, heck.

Never mind. Can I guess? Go ahead. Is it Bill Nye, the science guy? No. No. Yours is hard, but good. Mine, it's like I'm an alien. Like, what am I?

I don't like this anymore. It looks like an alien. Just keep asking questions. I think we can narrow it down. Looks like, is it Michael Jackson? Close, but not really. Everything gets a laugh in my face. It's a man who.

who used to be a person who is a criminal. Is Donald Trump? No. I don't want to play anymore. He's a thief. He's a thief. Remember's a thief. This girl's white?

Yes. What industry is here? Music. You already have it. Yeah. I think you know. Music? Middle age, canceled, talented,

unfortunately. Black. I don't know any musicians. I don't. I don't. I don't. This one, you know this one. I don't really fuck with music.

You fuck with this one. I mean, you know, you know. Ask one more question. Is he fat? Well, that's your question. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Fluctuates. Not really.

Who is this? Okay, let's keep going. Is he a real person or a character? He's a real person. And what industry is he in? So he's had a TV show. He has, I think he kind of always has a TV show. Oh.

TV. Oh. So, but that's not his industry, really. But he thrives. in the TV sector. But that's not, he is not talent. He's very talented. Not like an actor or singer

or a dancer. Now you got me thinking like the price is right or some kind of host. Yeah. He's going to be a host too. Okay. Let's go back to you, Esther. You guys need to just give me more hints.

Okay. Can I touch it? That's not going to. Okay, it's a person. Give me hints. Okay, here we go. Which to hint. Okay, yeah, because yours is actually

pretty tricky. Okay. So he lives in New Zealand. He lives in New Zealand in a very... He calls. Oh, is it Proto? No. Mm, close.

Looks like an alien. Wow. You guys made me call? What did you say? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? Any guesses for the other ones before we reveal.

One shot. I'll give you two clues. Yeah, we'll give you guys hands. Two clues. She's been on this podcast. She's been on this podcast. I know her. I don't think you know her.

I don't think you know her. Very polarizing. She eats a lot on TikTok. Blonde. Eats a lot blonde. She names her kids like she's a Filipino person. I feel like I don't know this influencer. Yes, you do.

She has a famous beef with another podcaster. But they're also family. I actually don't know. Does she? Does Jules maybe not know her? She does. Absolutely. I give up.

I know who she is. She's a mom. Take it off. look oh my god who is that trisha oh all right oh all right this came i can't i'm stuck at the shit well you won but you guys gave me good hints i can give you better hints okay he has a kink for his girlfriends or wives like being naked in public oh my god yeah girl i don't know he oh he has canceled yes yeah it's kanya yeah but still respected yeah yeah yeah I swear.

You guys don't give me good fucking hits. Okay. Yours is like at the top of their fields. They always have a TV show where they're like telling people how bad they are. He likes to curse. Wait, British. Oh, um, Gordon Ramsey. Yeah.

God, I should have said fucking. No, that's a hard one. Yeah, it's a hard one. Because it's like a good one, but it's like you wouldn't think about him. Yeah. Oh, I can't keep playing this game. Okay, you guys, we're going to carry the rest of this episode into the Patreon. Thank you so much to our.

guests for being here today. Andrea and Jules. Anything you guys want to plug? Nothing. And see potentially all of us January 28th at our live show at the comedy store in Los Angeles. We can't wait. Tickets are selling quick and we're going to also have surprise merch there. So don't tell anyone. See you next week. I WRIGHT.