Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Taylor Tomlinson is a Functioning Workaholic

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

**GOOD AMERICAN!* Keeping things in the family w/ an insane $50 discount!!!!   Use Promo Code TRASHTUESDAY for $50 OFF your first pair. That’s http:www.goodamerican.com/trash tuesday **HOME CHEF! YUM! For a limited time, HomeChef is offering our listeners 18 Free Meals PLUS Free Dessert for Life and of course, Free Shipping on your first box! Go to Home Chef dot com slash TRASHTUESDAY to claim this offer. For the fans in the back that is - http://www.homechef.com/trashtuesday **KALSHI! FUN! A SITE to Place Bets on Whether Your Favorite Popstar will Win Album of the year + MORE. Listeners: Kalshi is giving a $20 bonus on their app for the first 500 sign ups. Dang!!  Visit http://kalshi.com/trashtuesday & download the app!!  ___________________________________________________________________ Sweetie Pie & the Hardworking Taylor Tomlinson joins the gang this week &  the ladies discuss how hot girls might be conning us with their pasteurized milk rhetoric, Sabrina Carpenter's brilliance but unrelatable lyrics & how workaholism is OK as long as you can make scramble eggs, get enough vitamin D and take the right type of magnesium at the right time of day. More Taylor!!! Taylor’s Instagram Taylor’s Website Chapters: 00:00 Lessons from Sabrina Carpenter & TikTok 02:15 Podcasting w/ Friends & Motherhood 10:30 Are these trends real or are the people just hot? 14:00 The Difference Stages of Your Period 20:00 Hating Things We Love 37:00 Bragging About Mono  43:00 The Comedy Special Entrance 55:00 Esther loved High School (Brag) ___________________________________________________________________ Listen to Trash: Trash iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPod Trash Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudio Follow Trash: IG: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday More Esther: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/ More Khalyla:  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A  Production Team: Tiny Legends, LLC:  https://www.instagram.com/tinylegends.prod/ Stella Young: https://www.instagram.com/estellayoung/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Ariel Moreno: https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ Edited By: Case Blackwell:  https://www.instagram.com/caseblackwell/      

Also my choice to come up on the lift, which was a horrible decision. Why? So embarrassing. No, I think it was full. Oh my God, it was so embarrassing. And I'm like, why is this going so slow? And I realized recently what happened. I was watching Clips of Sabrina Carpenter and she came up on something

and she was in a squat. And then when they get halfway up, then they stand as it's coming up. And I'm like, oh, that's what you're supposed to do. You just didn't have enough pop star training. No, I didn't. I just stood fully up the whole time and it was too slow. And I was supposed to squat and then go up and I just. This is why next special,

it needs to be directed by like Wade Robson. Like you need a choreographer, Lorian Gibson. Like I, that's, I think what we need. I think next special, I need to do the thing where it just starts while I'm talking. Los Angeles this Friday night at the Comedy Store Belly Room October 18th and then Tacoma Washington November 1st and November 22nd and 23rd I'll be in Austin Texas. Get tickets at the link in the description or my Instagram bio. Thanks, bye! For a limited time, Home Chef is offering our listeners 18 free meals plus free

dessert for life and of course free shipping on your first box. Go to homechef.com slash trash Tuesday. That's homechef.com slash trash Tuesday for 18 free meals and free dessert for life. You heard that right. Homechef.com slash trash Tuesday. Must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Good Americans Always Fits Jeans are a total game changer. Shop now at goodamerican.com

or click our link in the description here. Use promo code TRASHTUESDAY for $50 off your first fare. Don't forget to select Podcasts at checkout and choose our show to let them know we sent you. Kalshi, yeah, you can trade on that. They're giving a $20 bonus on their app for the first 500 people who join with our code and deposit $100. Get a $20 bonus when you deposit $100 using their mobile app. Go to calshi.com slash trash Tuesday and download the app today. That's calshi.com slash trash Tuesday. Okay, we're back in the college radio studio today. Thank you, Maria Manunos. Today, we have someone who I went on her TV show and I asked her on national TV.

Will you be my podcast? I cornered you and you said yes. So here we have her Taylor Tomlinson. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you. By the way, I think I said on the show, I was like, I would love to do your podcast in a very sincere way. It felt real. And that's why I followed up. Yeah, I felt I meant it. I clearly I really like podcasts when you're genuinely looking forward to talking to the people you're

going to see. I hate doing podcasts when it's just press. Oh, and it's like the same questions you've been asked a million, how did you get into comedy? Literally. Like, yeah, no, I hear you. But I feel like we've been trying to schedule this for like a year. Yeah.

So we both want to be here. It's good. I know. I'm excited to see you because when I was on after midnight, you know, I was at least nervous. I don't know if you were, but it's like nervous. Well, it's like it's like a competition show. You have to like know your stuff. I don't know. I wasn't. I was also super pregnant and just like in my misery mode where it's like,

I'm so pregnant. Yeah. Oh, that was at the tail end of your pregnancy. Yeah. I could just on the tonight show. Yeah. It's like the day after the tonight. Oh, that's like I shouldn't have flown Doctor told me not to wait That's crazy because I do remember feeling very uncomfortable knowing that you were flying at like with 37 38 week using you're uncomfortable I was in hell on a flight and I had a lie flat seat and it was still so uncomfortable.

I thought I'd be okay. The secret is I had like one of those massage balls and just the entire six hour flight, I'm just like rolling it around on different parts of my body. That's the only way you can cope. No, Esther worked and recorded until she was crowning. That's crazy.

But you would be the same. You would work in the delivery room. That's crazy. But you would be the same. You would work in the delivery room. That's true. Like. I feel like we gotta get a TikTok. Yeah, I know you would. No, I'd have to stop working long enough to get pregnant. I wouldn't stop working long enough

to have sex to get pregnant. Like you need like a night off for that, right? Just even. Yeah, you should. Get pregnant. You need like, we really need 15 minutes. I mean, I have that during the day. Yeah. Yeah.

Lunch break. Yeah. Do you do you? I heard you on another podcast day that you used to know that you wanted kids and now you're like, I'm not sure. Are you where are you now with it? I have to ask. You know, it's hard.

Is I listening to you talk about how much you love being a mom? That's dangerous. You're changing people's minds out in the world who are on the fence. And they're going, oh, my God, Esther, well, I can do it. No, not even that. Just like she's making it sound really great. Oh, my God. I think I was very into the idea of having kids until I was like 26. And then I sort of started allowing myself to go,

well, what if I didn't have kids? What would my life look like? And then I hit a couple of years where I was like, I'm not doing it. And the freedom I felt, and then in the last few months, I don't know what's happening hormonally, but when I see babies out in the world, on the streets, I'm getting like weepy again.

Really? Yeah, which hasn't really happened for the last five years. Interesting. See, I never was into babies and I never thought I wanted kids. Like even ever since I was little, I was like, I don't want kids if I have them and wait till I'm like in my 40s, if it's possible. Like I never did. And then it wasn't honest to God truth until I worked on a show

with Shane Mitchell while she was pregnant. And I was like, oh, people get pregnant. Like I almost had to like spend every day for like three months next to a pregnant woman to be like, it gets into, it really is contagious. Do you feel like it's because Shay Mitchell is so hot? Yes. Like I think that sometimes where I'm like,

do you want a baby Taylor? Or did you just see a hot woman holding a baby? That's exactly right. That's aspirational. Yeah, like if you'd seen Shay Mitchell holding a smoothie for three months. Would you be like, I have to get a smoothie? And I did get that smoothie.

You are onto something, and you know me better than I wish you did. And then what happened was I got pregnant, had a miscarriage, and then I was like, world exploded, like, wait, oh, why did I want this? I don't know. And then I sort of realized that I was like, world exploded, like, wait, oh, why did I want this? I don't know. And then I sort of realized that I was afraid of not being able to do it, I think, because of the miscarriage was very traumatic.

And then now that I don't know, this is a long winded way of saying, like, I was the person that never thought I wanted them. And now that I did it, I'm like, yes. And I also think whatever you think you'll be like as a mom or if you want kids or how you feel about it, you're right. Like I think all the little thoughts I had, I'm like, oh yeah, this is the greatest thing for this reason. But I also am not, I also don't want to be the person

that's like, you have to have kids. Because I do think you can have a totally awesome fulfilling life without children, but I also think it's awesome. I have a question kids yet. Because I do think you can have a totally awesome fulfilling life without children, but I also think it's awesome. I have a question about that. Yes. I have a real aversion to like stickiness and I don't like baby smells.

Like I don't like people like the smell of a newborn. You know, people are like, oh, it's intoxicating. I don't. So does that mean, does that automatically disqualify me from like being a good mom? I think you should come over and smell my baby. It's yours will be different. You know, is it?

Will you like the smell of your own newborn? I think so. I mean, I love my dog's breath. You like yours. Yeah. Other people's really don't around me. Yeah. Don't draw on me.

Yeah. You're right. Because I do like my dog's breath. You'll be fine. Yeah. Sucking my baby's boogers out of her nose with an electric booger sucker is- Thank God you said with an electric booger. I was about to say. Old school.

Ooh, okay. Thinking you're nervous. You lost me. Woo hoo! All right. It is so satisfying. Like anything that you think is gross is never gross when it comes to your baby.

What about sensory stuff? Like, you know, sticky ice. Do you guys not have- Oh, I have that. You do? When my hands are sticky, I have a short circuit and I have to like leave the party. I guess, hey, washing my hands is not enough.

I need, like, that's when I need to bathe. You don't have this? I don't have sticky hands. I'm a grownup. I couldn't tell you the last time. I was like, couldn't tell you. I time I was like... I couldn't tell you. I think I was 10. You never just like put your hand in a cinnamon roll and just... No. Okay. Wow. You're eating a cinnamon roll with your hands? We just did honestly right before

you got here. We like clawed into some pastries hard. Wow. Yeah. There's still a crumb right there. Are you not into desserts? No, I am but I just can't. You just can't. You just do a clean. I just had like yeah. Just once you have like health stuff you're like well that's just gonna be a problem for like hours afterward. What is the health stuff?

Oh just like some, well A, like I can't handle dairy. Like I'm just. Lactose? Lactose I just can't do. And then like I had a bunch of stuff in the last year that made me like mess with my diet a bunch. And now I feel like I'm hyper aware of anything I put in my body. If it turns into like one pimple, I'm like, well, that was I'm like tracking it back. Yes, like I think all that kind of or even just like my energy levels.

And I think also just doing the show and touring on the weekends. I'm like, oh, I literally don't have time to feel bad because I ate a cinnamon roll. I mean, honestly though, like you make a really good point because I've always been so proud of the fact that I'm like, Oh, I'm not lactose. I'm not lactose. I can drink milk all day, eat every, but as soon as I eat or drink a drop of milk, I can see the pimple grow. What?

I am like a dairy pimple girl. And I swear to God, like it's either a butt pimple, somewhere it grows in my body and it grows big and cystic. So I'm like, okay, maybe I'm not lactose, but this is what dairy does to me. Yeah. You don't have that. I don't, if I do, I'm not paying attention close enough.

Really? Like I used to go dairy free options whenever I could. And then now I'm like, like every other girl in TikTok, I'm like, gotta get my protein in. So I'm like, oh, whole milk has protein. So that's what I'm choosing. Is that? And you're doing the raw milk thing? I'm not doing raw milk.

You scared me off of raw milk. Congratulations. I'm not as pretty as I could be because of you. What is the difference? What's raw milk? It's just. It's non-pasteurized milk. Like it's just, they took it because of you. I feel really proud of myself. What is the difference? What's raw milk? It's just- It's non-pasteurized milk. Like it's just, they took it from the bucket?

I think so. Yeah, straight from the tap. Who's doing that? The crunchy moms. The pretty girls? Yeah. Are they pretty? I think so.

Not because of that. That's not why. This is the problem. People who are genetically- I know. This is the problem. People who are genetically, I know. Just God's favorites, will do this crazy shit and be like, this is why I look like this is like,

it's not though. I fall for it every time and I'm 36. Like I've been doing this for so long and I won't stop. Which is so funny because you look 24. Thank you so much. But if you came in today and you're like, I look 24 because I have unpasteurized milk, I'd be like, shut this podcast down.

It's spreading misinformation. Being a mother is not miraculous. And unpasteurized milk does not make you look young. You look young too though. You have the young face. We both have round, the round, That's all it is. Useful faces.

Then that really is what it comes down to. It's really nothing more than that. You're just round. Well, it's like one of the, were you ever somebody who wanted to get like, your buckle fat. 100%. Yeah, and then now everybody's like,

everyone who did that looks older. And I don't even know if I agree with that necessarily. I think everyone looks pretty good. But everyone tells me they're like, no, you wanna keep your full face because you'll look younger, longer. Did you really consider getting it? No, no, no, I wouldn't get it.

You wouldn't. See, I looked into it. I would if I wasn't scared. We had the same friend introduce the idea as well as us doing it. Yeah, when we were in our 20s, our friend was like, this is what we do, and then we were all researching it,

and I was serious, but also too scared. Yeah, I think I have some, I never judge anyone else for getting anything done, but for some reason, whenever I'm like, what... I never judge anyone else for getting anything done, but for some reason, whenever I'm like, what have I got this done? I'm just like, you dumb bitch, read a book, go for a walk, better yourself. How dare you take the easy way out? And I don't feel that way about anyone else. Just me. No, we're the hardest on ourselves. It's so weird. We were just talking about this before you got here. My anxiety and spirals about things

that I don't like about myself, it's like, I would never judge anyone else for that. If someone came to me with these things, I would be like, oh my God, you have to give yourself grace. But when it comes to me, I'm like, no, you little bitch. Yeah, also the recovery. The recovery.

I made the grave mistake of getting Mastodder Botox for my TMJ and it sunk my face in so much that I lost like the volume and I looked older and I just looked terrible. Thank God it only lasted three months. Did you actually? I did. I'll show you pictures. Sorry, I don't want to shit you though. Taylor, I swear. No, I'm sure you did. Just let her have it. Okay. No, I'm, that sounds bad. Yeah. But what you're saying, if I talk to other people, the way I talk to myself, like I would just be like

an evil fucking monster. Yeah. Yeah. It's so crazy. Yeah. Anything I look up that I'm like, should I do that? It's just the recovery video scare me off of it. I think. Cause I'm like, also if something went wrong,

I'd be so embarrassed. Embarrassed. Yeah Cause I'm like, also if something went wrong, I'd be so embarrassed. Yeah, I'm like, I'll be the one who gets like, I've never gotten Botox cause I'm too scared. Same. Yeah. I'm scared. I'm just like, and I'm now that I do TV every day, I really can't.

Like we had five weeks off over the summer and I was like, did they give us five weeks off? Cause it's enough time for me to recover from something? Is it someone tell me, just blink if CBS wants me to get something done. I'll do it, but just tell me. I need to know right now. I need to know right now.

You work a lot, like you're very busy, you do a lot. Now, this is something I want to talk about with you too, Kalyla. Like, I want to talk about the different stages and phases of the menstrual cycle. Let's go to back to health class. Interesting. Because I am like really feeling each stage so clearly and I'm like am I the only one? I look at you, you're working non-stop. Like does the certain stages, does your luteal phase ever this is a down just really true is like a big trigger for me that luteal phase takes

me down to the pits of hell no I know ovulations the good one ovulation so great why don't you invincible let's say so okay starts the first day of your cycle is the menstrual phase right that you're bleeding but it's that's it, right? You're bleeding, but your estrogen's already climbing. Okay. Yeah. So like right before your estrogen is at its lowest and it starts to climb.

That's when you start to feel yourself again. And then you get into follicular follicular. So it's menstrual follicular ovulation, luteal, and then downhill pits of hell. Yeah. So it's like, it's really good until you hit the luteal. And then downhill, pits a hell. Yeah, so it's like, it's really good until you hit the luteal phase and that's when you're like bed rotting, anxiety spikes. Like I just feel like-

Body dysmorphia. Yeah, do you experience like the highs of the lows of the cycle and how do you handle it? So here's the thing, I had really painful periods and I got on low, low estrogen when I was 19 and it makes you not have a period. Wait, what is that? It's a birth control.

Are you still on it? So I haven't had my period in like years. Oh wow. Uh-huh. And that's why I work so much. Literally. I truly, I don't know how I got sick once a month for years of my life.

And every once in a while, I see those videos where they're like, get off of birth control, it's the worst thing you could possibly be on. And when I was doing my podcast with Delaney and Kelsey, they both, we had some sort of doctor on and she was like, get off of birth control. And they both got off of birth control. And I was like, not me, bitch. I'm staying on it. And we're going to take the risk. Cause I love having my period. And I've asked my doctors, I'm staying on it and we're going to take the risk because I love having my period and I've asked my doctors, I'm like, should I get off of this? Is this bad? And they're like, no, you're fine.

So is it a shot or a pill? It was a pill. I take a pill every day. It's basically so it's the same thing if you had like the new varying say for instance, and you just don't allow yourself to bleed and you just put a new one up there. Right. It's the same concept. You just don't allow for your period week.

I don't even skip the pills. I just don't get my period on it. Oh wow. Yeah, which is apparently common on that birth control. This is really interesting. All the comments are like, you're dying. I'm fine. I'm fine.

The best doctors I've looked at. No, she has doctors. It's fine. She's paid by CBS. And I work so much, so it's fine. It's all working out. Whoa, my mind is blown at what that life could be like. Cause I'm over here slumming it in the cycle.

Yeah, no, the cycle's bad. Again, haven't really been there for 11 years, but I remember vaguely and it was bad. I mean, I felt like I had like the flu once a month. It was so bad. It was so heavy. I felt so sick. Yeah. I feel like then you are the perfect candidate then

for birth control, especially if you have those issues. Because Esther, but also in your case, you were pregnant. So you're the equivalent of taking 100 birth control pills a day to zero overnight. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm really feeling the phases now post-pregnancy because I didn't have them for so long.

And so I'm like, it's just every different stage. I'm like, we're living like freaks. Oh, it's insane. This is not, this is bad. It's really bad. I used to think it was an unusual request for me to not film for Tiger Belly three days before my period. I'm like if we can just schedule everything so we keep those days just free because I would feel oily,

ugly, dry, everything like my life was just like crumbling in those three days. And so yeah I mean I now I don't think it's an unusual request because I'm like it really feels that terrible. And I know that you can, you probably, you've been texting me about how shitty you've been feeling, right? Yeah, I feel bad because I went home to see my parents like in the luteal phase and I was just a raging bitch

the whole time. Oh no. It's fine, they can handle it. If anyone can handle it, it's them. What is your advice though for like staying healthy, work, because you are truly like, you get it done. Like how do you, how do you do that? Are you ever lazy? Do you identify as lazy ever? No, but I also don't have a family or successful relationship. So it's like, if I had to balance, maybe that

would be tougher. No, I think I'm probably just a little unhealthy and I get most of my self-worth from my career and being productive and making things. Like after my last breakup, I was like, should I write a book? Like, I just need to always be doing something. Creative expression.

Yeah, you're right. And I'm gonna tell my therapist that. No, I don't know. I think I just, I do like to work and I really like my job slash jobs. At the same time, an hour before I go on stage, you know, you're like, I would do anything not to be here. Wait.

I want to go home. Why is that? You have that too? Yeah, I was talking to Sophie about it the other day cause I was like really feeling it on set this week. And I'm like, I think this is just what jobs are though. I do feel this way on the road too. I love being on the road all day.

And then just the 45 minutes before I have to go on stage, I'm like, what am I doing? OK. What was I thinking? I have a theory. I have a theory. So I think that we are performers, and we love what we do.

And all the positive things are there, right? However, I lately for me, I think there's this like animal instinct that's coming out. Like, I don't know what you'd call it, but it's deeper than like the conscious brain. And it's like how, if this were a million years ago, whatever, whenever people were like, it's scary to be on,

to do public speak. Yeah. Right? That doesn't mean that we don't love performing and being, but there is like this instinct that's like, wait, I'm going to go out there and what if they hate me and then the tribe kills me or something? Like, I do think there's something going on there. Is that possible? I think so too.

Neither of you strike me as people with ADHD necessarily, but I read this thing where either it has to do with ADHD or OCD or some type of neurodivergence where you dread all of the things you enjoy. Like everything. Like even if this is the thing you love the most, let's suppose like a hobby you love Esther. Dance. Oh I dread it. Yes exactly. You dread dancing? Yeah because I... It's never Esther right? I just broke your heart. As someone who can't dance that broke my heart because dance is wasted on you. No kidding. It truly is. Oh my god. No, I, because it's like, to go to a ballet class, like I want to, my in-laws are in

town and so like this is my chance this weekend to go do ballet classes at the studio that I really like. And I know that when I, I've been like dreaming, thinking of the ballet class, I know when it comes down to it, I'm like, I don't want to go, it's like hard work. No, that's exactly how I feel. Like I love being in the ocean. I love diving. I love being in the water.

But when I have to put my wetsuit on, and if I'm looking at the tide come in, I am like, why am I doing this? Why am I here? And it's that weird feeling of dread. But then afterwards I'm like on a high, like dopamine high. Okay, well here's my question. Is what you're talking about, is it just you only dread things you enjoy or do you just dread everything?

I dread everything. I dread everything even me. Wait, I think it is depression because it's like I could love, I could be excited about seeing someone I haven't seen in a long time. Like I really want to catch up with this person. I love this person objectively. I want to be in their company, but come the day of I'm like, I'm dreading even. I hope they cancel. I hope they cancel.

If they loved me, they would. Exactly, if they knew me at all, they would. But it's that constant feeling and it never goes away. Here's what I've been running into and this is very dark. Have you had this happen where you hope things get canceled, they do get canceled, you have a free day to rest, and you're miserable the whole day? Of course. All the time.

A day off? Yeah. Nothing seems better and then is worse than a day off. Yes. That is, you just want it, you're waiting. Oh, if I could just want it. You're waiting. Oh, if I could just, and then you're like, what am I? When I was younger though, I loved it.

When I was younger, I could fully bed rot in a nice way and enjoy it and like really nest. And now I can't do it. I just feel guilty and bad. And I don't know, like maybe because we're closer to death. I'm not sure Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up. I'm really sorry about that. Wait, that's so interesting because I do. Again, like you said, if someone cancels last minute, I'm like, bless your heart. You were a kind citizen. Thank you for knowing me. And then

You were a kind citizen. Thank you for knowing me. And then I spend those next two hours doing absolutely fuck all. And then I'm just sweating in bed, hating myself. Sweating in bed. Your brain is just mush. I'm like, wow, I've wasted a day. I haven't done anything productive,

made no contact with outside world. And now I am a unlovable hermit. Yeah. Yeah. See, I, yeah, what is that? I'm like blown away that we all have this. Yeah, if I'm watching TV now, I have to like be on my walking pad during.

You have a walking pad? Yeah, it like changed my life. Wow. It made me obsessed with my step count. Me picturing my walking pad in my garage. You have to open it. You have to open it and have your husband set it up. The room, the room all lost.

Really? Okay. Does it have a rail? Is it the TikTok one? It doesn't have a rail. Mine doesn't either and that was my issue. But I have a standing desk and also I can't use it without the rail.

You don't need a rail. Yeah, your shoe's close to the ground. No, I feel like it without the rail. You don't need a rail. Yeah, yours goes close to the ground. No, I feel like she would. You're fine. I feel like she would just lean on it and somehow find a hack to not actually do the steps. You're right. Get all the weight on the rail.

And then just rise and float. Wait, I can't believe you used your walking pad. I'm so triggered. TikTok's changed my life. TikTok has, every single worthwhile thing that I've done in the last few years is because I saw it on TikTok. It is so good.

Wait, tell me more. For me, it's like a lot of, I'm like supplement talk. Like I heard though that you started magnesium. Yes, I take citrate in the morning and glycinate at night. Whoa, wait, citrate in the morning? Citrate in the morning. You're a nasty. Well, we're not doing threonates yet, guys. I got some. Okay, th, citrate in the morning? No, you're a nasty. We're not doing

threonates yet guys. I got some. Okay, threonates good. Tell her about it. It basically it's good for the for brain fog to kind of. What's it called? Magnesium threonate. Threonate? It's just another kind of magnesium. When do you take that? I take it in the morning. Because that one is supposed to help you focus, right? Yeah. Is it good for your brain? How do you spell that T H R E O N A T E wait citrate in the morning is kind of throwing me off I'm like I don't trust you all the digestion yeah but I'm glycinate supposed to be for sleep yeah so I do glycinate at night am I saying them wrong I don't know you're fine I'm

just whatever I'm just come for me internet this is the thing I get canceled for um it was glycinate I take that one at night and I, that's the one like do or die. Like I will take that at no, I will never stop taking it. It's relaxing, helps me sleep. It's good for your muscles, whatever. But citrate I thought is good for going to the bathroom.

And I thought I'd take that at night. I take mine at night. Oh. But you can, it doesn't matter. Okay. Just take it. Yeah. I'll take it at night if I'm supposed to. Well, should I take all

the magnesium at night or you take the brain fog one in the morning? Yeah, yeah. But my partner takes a three and eight at night because his naturopath said the three and eight's actually better at night. What? Mm-hmm. How dare you say that's three. It seems like a lot of magnesium to take at night. It's a lot of magnesium. Also like. Do you have three separate types or do you get like a combo one? No, right now I'm just on the citrate. The glycerin, I kind of just cycle through the different ones. Mine is individual. I could never come combine into one pill. I would- I don't trust them. Yeah. I'm like, what percentage is this?

Yeah, I need to know percentages very well. Yeah. What are you, now I'm into supplement talk. Yeah, are we all vitamin D deficient? Of course. Yeah. Okay, great.'m into supplement talk. Are we all vitamin D deficient? Of course. Okay, great. Don't insult me. I worry about your vitamin D for sure, cause you're very anti-sun, right? Yeah, thank you so much.

I did just, I was at a baby shower this weekend with my friend who works in cancer research at Harvard. Oh my God. Not to brag. Well you have a smart friend. Like you did it. Not to brag. I work at Harvard, not to brag. Oh my God. Well, you have smart friends. Like you did it. Not to brag. I work at Harvard now.

It's Christina, one of my friends through Christina, my childhood best friend is pregnant and went to her baby shower. But he was saying, because I'm like, I'm like, when am I ever gonna, you know, I just ask a cancer researcher a question. This is, I hit the jackpot with this guy. And he was like, with as pale as you are, you just need to wear sunscreen because question. This is, I hit the jackpot with this guy and he was like,

with as pale as you are, you just need to wear sunscreen because you live in California. That was all he said. So I'm just passing that along. Yeah, that's it. That's the only health advice he gave you. Yeah, he that's it. He was like, you're pale.

You live in California. You need sunscreen. See, whenever you get a doctor in real life, that's good. They never, they never give you anything. They're too tired. They're too tired. They're so tired. And they're like, I mean, it's like asking us for a joke. It is actually kind of rude.

Yeah. To be like, do you have any insights? They're like, hand sanitizer. And you're like, okay. Yeah, right. My bad, sorry for bothering you, sir. I know. I was at one of my best friend's weddings in Hawaii

and Bobby came with me. And there was a doctor there who was a urologist and Bobby found out that he was a urologist and in the middle of you know he pulled people mingling. He was like hey dude um my dick looks this way or I'm going through this and he didn't know the guy and the poor guy was like you gotta go see your doctor man I don't know what to tell you and I was like Bobby you can't just go up to people and ask them just because they're doctors about why your dick looks like that.

And he was like, oh, you're right. But this poor guy was like in shock. Like, he didn't know him. So I don't think it's, we should be asking doctors. Well, this is a friend. Yeah. This is a friend. Yeah. And it's a very different, say, what skincare tips do you have we should be asking doctors. Well, this is a friend. This is a friend. Yeah.

And it's a very different, say, what skincare tips do you have compared to my dick smells like fish. I didn't like bend over and put a finger in. I mean, I'm not saying I would never do that if a proctologist walked in the room, but. Well, what kind of doctor would excite you the most right now?

Ooh, that's a good question. Like, you know, in that same setting. I feel like I'd love to talk to an ENT or a gastro maybe. Oh yeah. I don't know. ENTs always just say you have acid reflux. They never give you anything. There was like, it's acid reflux.

I really don't think it is. It is though. That's all. I know it's so frustrating. You know who would really impress me? An immunologist. Have you ever heard of those? That's good.

I don't even know what they do, but just the fact that it's called immunologist, I wanna know what they could do for me. Yeah, maybe I would probably get really excited over a functional medicine or an endocrinologist because of all the woman stuff. Oh yeah. The hormones and all of that.

But Taylor doesn't have hormones anymore, so she's fine. Lucky. You're basically the poster child for Loestral, right? The Loestral. Oh, yeah. I'm a big fan. Yeah. Someone at work is on it too. And we were like, you know, get your... I'm like, I don't care. I was like, okay, but we're fine, right?

Yeah. High five. It's really good. We're fine. Do you have like, what are your current, cause I know you're like, you don't have time to get sick and you know I'm a hypochondriac. So like, do you have health tips? Are you other supplementing besides magnesium? I started gargling hot salt water

in the morning and at night. Why? Because I was told to. Okay, by a hot girl? By hot girls on TikTok and doctors and ENTs. So everybody. Holy trinity. Holy trinity, everyone from all sides.

I was getting that. I love when they all agree. Yeah, for a while I was gargling hot salt water with hydrogen peroxide. Is that wrong? Because I have a friend, one of my best friends from high school is a doctor and I saw her and she was like,

hydrochloric acid is bad, you're not supposed to do that anymore. Yeah, I wouldn't do hydrochloric acid anymore. I feel like they used to do that for a long time. I think my dad used to do that. Gargle it? Yeah. It didn't feel right.

Yeah. But I was also like, this is definitely killing germs in my throat. It's also killing me. But it's also, but you know. Two birds, two birds. But the salt gargle has been around for a long time. I feel like that is just a very easy home remedy for sore throats or for allergies.

I thought it was you only do it for sore throats, but they're like, no, do it every day for your voice. Cause now I'm like, you know, I'm just talking so much now that my voice is really... What do we know what that does for you if you gargle saltwater without like having a sore throat? Do you know? I think it just probably washes away like the bad bacteria or anything that excess... I'm very pro bacteria.

She is very pro bacteria. Yeah, I feel like we're not... But you're a hypochondriac? Yeah, I just... That's a great Yeah. I just. That's a great one. I'm confused. I think if they go together, I can take this home.

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Cal she, yep, you can trade on that. How are we killing our bad bacteria? What are the most common ways? I think like over hand sanitizing post COVID. Yeah, for sure. Like super bugs and stuff. Oh, okay. Overuse of antibiotics.

No, and I'm fine. But I'm just, don't put the camera on me. Don't edit around me. Edit around my face. Cut her camera. Got my camera. Okay, you think that's bad? Don't edit around me. Edit around my face. Cut her camera. Cut her camera. Got my camera. Okay. You think that's bad for,

I wash my hands and do hand sanitizer, like every time. Interesting. Since COVID. I was never like that. Okay. And then post COVID, I'm like. I feel like if you're in an environment

where you're constantly like around new people. Oh, meeting new people. Yeah. Like I will hand sanitize if I'm, if I've just been exposed to like a shit ton of what I feel like is like around people. Yeah. Like I will hand sanitize if I'm, if I've just been exposed to like a shit ton of what I feel like is like gross stuff, gross people, but on a regular note, like not when never when I'm at home or never if I'm. I do it after I touch my phone. So I'm like, this has been everywhere today.

But the phone is really disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. I'll wipe my phone down. You know what I do? What I didn't invest in in COVID that I wish I did and I should get is like, I want one of those like fancy box sterilizers that rich people have. Oh, the light? Yeah, I want that. And then you just come home, put your phone in it.

I should probably get something like that for my like baby toys. I don't know. I'm just like, how do we know that's working? I know, I don't believe anything. Or that wand, remember the wand where you would have to just, you know. Yeah, I just don't know. Or that wand, remember the wand where you would have to just, you know.

Yeah, I just don't know. Do you like hearing about people being sick or does it scare you? It's not like I don't like it. I don't know, I don't know what kind of hypochondriac. Tell me about your cough. Why are you hiding a sickness? No, no, no, I'm not hiding a sickness.

Not like that present day, but is there one that you wanna tell me about? Well, well, okay. I don not hiding a sickness. Not like that present day, but is there one that you wanna tell me about? Well, well, okay. I don't, well. What's going on? No, nothing. Have you ever had mono? Yes.

You did, when? Yes, I had it at the exact right time in eighth grade. Oh, you guys? That's such a hot girl thing to get. That's amazing. In eighth grade. Yeah, that's perfect. Lucky.

Do you know you can like get it again? No. Yeah, cause it's just, it's Epstein-Barr virus. Right. And they make it sound like, oh, you can only get mono once in your life. That's not true. You can have EBV flare-ups, which is just mono.

You can get mono again throughout your life. If your immune system like plummets or something else happens. And COVID, this is according to the ENT acupuncturist and functional medicine doctor I saw. They were like, people are getting COVID and then it's triggering their EBV and they're getting mono again. Is that what happened to you? So you did you have it when you were younger? I don't I don't know. I had a boyfriend in college who had full blown mono and I went to my doctor and I was like,

can you test me for mono? My boyfriend has it and she goes, are you tired and sad? And I said, yes. And she goes, you probably have it. There's no point testing you. What? And I was like 19, she wouldn't test me for it. And I was like, okay.

And then I'm like, I bet I'm fine. It's okay. Cause I was like deeply depressed. I had no idea. I still don't know. And who's to say, uh, but I got mono back in November and it was really, really bad. And I was like, where on earth did I get that?

Like I'm not like really dating. Like I don't know what's going on. I don't know how I would have gotten this. So I think it was just like being exposed to COVID probably. So basically stays like latent in your body until your immune system is compromised. It's like chicken pops and shingles. Yeah, like shingles. Yes, exactly.

I had shingles. As an adult? Yeah, it was awesome. Oh my God, that sounds horrible. It was crazy. How old were you? Like 25. What happened?

What triggered your shingles? I think it was stress, but it was like not even a reason to be stressed. It was just like normal. I might have had to do with like starting caffeine is maybe something like caffeine gets me like excited and then stressed. But I just it just happened. It's kind of weird. I don't really know because it wasn't like there was anything

particular going on. It just kind of came about. I guess I'm just really cool and pretty, so. Yeah, but see, Mono is such a hot girl. Yeah. It does not feel like it. Wait, what were your symptoms when you got it the second time around? Cause all I remember,

I got it from sharing a Slurpee with another girl. I know, it's so innocent. That's so sad. I know. And I just remember the worst sore throat of your life. Like stabby, razorblady sore throat. Yeah, I got a really sore throat first, then I lost my voice.

And it was like that for weeks and I didn't know what was going on. And it was a few weeks before I filmed my special. So I'm fully on steroids for my special because I was so sick. Did it help? Was it awesome? Yeah. No, I mean, it gets you through it. You don't feel like great, but you feel like it like mutes your symptoms.

I've never been happier than when I was on steroids. No way. I hate being on steroids. It gives me it. Is it prednisone? Yeah. Yeah. It makes me feel so jittery. Yeah. It makes me want to wanna eat five entrees at Panda Express for no reason at all. And I get the moon face if I'm on it a little bit too long.

See, you know, like in the Truman Show when Jim Carrey's like, good morning. And if I don't see you, good evening, good afternoon, good night, like that's me on Prednisone. I'm like, hello, everyone, let's talk. I wanna have like a four hour conversation with every cashier. Yeah, you're roided out.

It's fun. You're on the gear, baby. It's fun to be friendly. But you're between that and like getting really angry. Right. You don't have any of that. You don't have any of that irritation. Not when I, I'll tell you.

Yes, that's exactly how I feel. My whole special, I kid you not, we edited out me, like every 10 seconds was me going, and we had to edit it out. Like whoever had to do the audio in my special I feel so bad for them because it's truly every 10 seconds I was like. You guys had to call in like an Oscar winning editor just to pull this off. Wait I am so glad you brought up your special because coming out to Peaches boys want to

be her. God love Peaches, Boys Wanna Be Her. God, I love Peaches. That song is so iconic. Was that your decision? I wanted to come out to it, to my first special, and it was too expensive. Yes. So I've been waiting.

I've been waiting to use it. Nailed it. Thank you. Best song, I love, I love Peaches. So good. Oh, I was really excited. I'm glad, I'm just, I had to know that that was your choice and think it was also my choice to come up on the lift Which was a horrible decision why so embarrassing? No, I think it was full. Oh my god

It was so embarrassing and I'm like, why is this going so slow? And I realized recently what happened because I was watching videos of Sabrina Carpenter on tik-tok who by the way I love Sabrina Carpenter so much, could not relate to music less. It's so confident. Every song she has, it's the most confident song I've ever heard in my life about how tiny and hot she is. And I'm like, this isn't for me, but I cannot stop listening to it.

She's so good. So good. So good. Same with Brat. I was listening to Brat like this was not made for me, but I love it so much, but it's not for me. And I know that and my personality is not brat but it's okay. I never ever will let anyone say that music isn't supposed to be for them like if you enjoy it it's

for you. It's not it would hit me differently if I you know. But I do when I look at you I'm like okay she's she likes crooners. Like I do get that. Wrap pack. The other day, Sophie and I, we were working on one of the monologues for the show and it was about like, oh, it was about the new Wiggle is really hot. Like they got a new Wiggle in the Wiggles and he's really hot.

And we were like, what's like a joke we can make about a band that switches out the members a lot, that gets new members. And she had put like Fleetwood Mac and I was like, what's like a joke we can make about a band that switches out the members a lot, that gets new members. And she had put like Fleetwood Mac and I was like, what about like Frankie Valli in the fourth season? And she was like, I don't think anyone's gonna get that. Okay, yeah, no, for sure. Did you see Jersey Boys?

Yeah, I love Jersey Boys. It's so good. It's so good. But anyway, back to the lift, sorry. I was watching Clips of Sabrina Carpenter and she came up on something and she was in a squat. And then when they get halfway up, then they stand as it's coming up.

And I'm like, oh, that's what you're supposed to do. You just didn't have enough pop star training. No, I didn't. I just stood fully up the whole time and it was too slow. And I was supposed to squat and then go up and I just this is why next special it needs to be directed by like a Wade Robson like you need a choreographer Lauren Gibson like I that's I think what we need I think next special I need to do the thing where it just starts while I'm talking.

It's too awkward for you to exist. Not just you know it's such a like a comedian thing to do, to have no intro. Yeah. And to just have like, it starts and it's you and it's in black and white probably. That's like the cool thing to do, not coming down on stairs that are pink. I think all options are cool. It depends who's doing it. I think what you did was cool.

I also think what you're describing, just starting is kinda cool, but make a choice also. I love the Adam Sandler special, the way it starts with the little, oh my God, it's so good. It's so good. I'm so excited to watch. And by the way, your special was amazing. It's one of the best specials I watched in so long.

I was blown away. That's very nice. It was so good. Because I feel like your style of comedy is one that I really, really enjoy, which is like, okay, she's being honest and vulnerable and she's just sharing real shit, but making it funny. And because I don't need to see wacky, silly stuff, I wanna feel, relate to the person

and you're a human up there. It was just, it's really, if people haven't watched it, have it all. And I'm curious, because you're touring, you're a human up there. It was just, it's really, if you haven't watched it, have it all. Yes. And I'm curious, like, cause you're starting, you're touring, you're going back on tour. What's like, what are like some of the themes? Like, what are we talking about now? What's on your mind?

So this hour, I think is gonna be more like my second special, Look At You, which was, I think, darker. Like I think Quarterlife Crisis, which was my first one, was more like have it all, and I did that on purpose because I thought Look At You was, again, darker, so I wanted to do like a lighter hour for me too, because doing Look At You for a year and a half or two years was kind of got to be a lot

to be going on stage and like talking about my mental health and my dead mom for an hour. So have it all was much lighter. And then this one is like very personal again, and it's a lot about religion and like growing up in church. Really? And yeah, and like coming out as queer and like all those things. And then like talking about whether or not I want to have kids. And then a bunch of jokes about dying. It's not that of it. Do you have it all, like, have it all, you're special?

You, like, do you, are you already at a place where you have your new hour and you're just, that's amazing. Yeah, I mean, I've been working on it this year in clubs up until this point. And I have one more weekend. I'm doing like the Philly Helium next week. And then we're in theaters,

which I guess is like technically when the tour starts. But yeah, that's why it's called the Save Me Tour because I was scared people were gonna come out and be like, this is a lot about religion and we weren't told and this isn't CBS. And I'm like, we told everyone. We made it abundantly clear. So does that mean when you're touring in comedy clubs,

it's more like you're finding it? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I think now, like I was in Seattle last week and I was like, oh, I have this like memorized now that's nice. But I, yeah, I had like my notebook out all summer and was moving things around and figuring out What order everything needed to go in because I always kind of have a rough idea of what subjects I want to talk about

For the next hour. Yeah, but not exactly how I'm gonna do that yet. Yes so I have a similar process where it's like it's let it's What the subject in the areas like all my friends make fun of me because I call my jokes areas first So yeah, the area is the most important thing to me. Yes, not the comedy just like what's that area? That's how I feel about transitions. I'm like, what's the transition between the areas to use your word? I when I'm working stuff out. I'll write The all the jokes that are under that subject in one color, and then when I switch colors,

it'll be the next subject. So if it was like all the religious jokes, those are all written in red, and then all the death jokes are written in black, and then all the kid jokes are written in blue, and kind of look at it that way, but I need to have really clear transitions subject to subject so it doesn't feel like jarring.

Like I don't know how comics go up and just do a collection of bits, you know? Like I wouldn't be able to remember that. So just go like, you know what else is weird and it's something totally different. Like I can't remember it's more like that. I know what you mean. It's so much easier to know your stuff when you, it's like, it's a story almost for you in your head. I know what you mean It's so much easier to know your stuff when you it's like it's a story almost for you in your head

I guess you're saying but see I a Transition isn't that important to me because I'm like People don't really care like you could totally switch subjects It's fine as long as it's still you know funny and interesting or whatever But I think a transition is more for me like yes, so I know what, okay, like after this hot girl stuff, what's gonna like talk about like, yeah. Death. Yeah, not death after that,

but you know, something that makes sense to me. And it's probably just some type A behavior on my part where I'm like, I hope people leave and if they didn't like it, they were at least like, it was well organized. Structurally sound. Structurally sound, yes. It really built to a point that I didn't agree with, but.

I mean, if you have theater critics coming, like that is something, like I feel like they would not acknowledge that. Yeah, and I don't, but we did. Wait, what are your favorite musicals of all time? Cause I know you're a musical junkie like me. Oh my gosh, how did we not start with this? I know. Wait, so every time do you go to New York, do you're a musical junkie like me. Oh my gosh, how did we not start with this? I know.

Wait, so every time you go to New York, do you see a bunch of shows? Yes, but I have not really seen anything amazing lately, if I'm being honest. Because you've been with your baby? Well, no, I just don't think it's been a great... Did you see El Mary? No, I need to see that. I missed out on that. It's so good.

It's still going. Okay. It got extended. Okay, I need to see that. I missed out on that. It's so good. It's still going. Okay. It got extended. Okay, I wanna see that. What else? I saw Stereophonic and the Outsiders the same day. How were they?

They were great. They were both great. Very different. Did you see, see I like go to the cheesy ones. I saw Back to the Future. I wanted to see Back to the Future. That went good. It's like kind of dumb,

but the good parts of it are so good that I was like I would see this again. But it's also like the music isn't that good. But like the nostalgia and the fun. I cried so much. You cried? It's beautiful. I mean it's my favorite movie. So like, of course. Have you seen Six? Yes. I love Six. I love Six too. Yeah. I guess the people who wrote that just came out with another one. Oh my god. That final song. It's so good. He went down on one knee. Okay, I'll stop. But it's so good. I've seen it like three times. It's amazing. It's so fun. It's yeah. Okay. Wait, what else? Um, I'm trying to think. I mean, I've seen, I've seen a lot. Did you see Beetlejuice? No. Since the movie's out? You see Beetlejuice? You saw it? I loved it. Yeah, I loved it. I should have seen that.

What about when you were younger? Were you ever in musicals? No, I can't sing. I can't sing, I can't dance. I can only do standup. That doesn't sound. This is the one thing I can do. Truly, if I could sing, I would not be here right now.

Okay. I would be doing something else. I was literally like the other day, I went like so rogue on stage and was talking to her, like if everyone who you see on stage doesn't wanna be here tonight, I was like, anyone who's a stand-up comedian, like this was not the first choice.

That's so funny. I was like- Like at the store? Yeah, and I was coming for the women comics too. I was like, especially if they're female, like we're just here cause we're not pretty enough to do other things. I was totally in a shame spiral.

That's so funny. I was having a meltdown about like, this is not the first choice. That's hilarious. What do you think? It is totally true, except for like, I can think of a bunch of super hot female comics that I'm like, you could have done other things,

but I don't know, you just didn't go that way. Like, Nikki Glaser could have done anything she wanted. She just made a terrible mistake. If up until this- Like Nikki, look in the mirror, you don't have to do comedy. You don't have to do comedy. You're so hot. If up until this point,

like you're not where you are like right now and you're not where you're at, like what do you think your plan B would have been? I mean, it's so disrespectful for me to say this because I, it's like, for me to say this because I, it's like, it truly is the hardest job. I would have been a teacher and I would have been like, oh my God, I'm so bad at this.

This is so hard. See teacher, okay. Subject, English. I think it's crazy that that was my backup plan when I was younger. Why? Cause that job was so hard. It is really hard. And it's wild that we just walk around like,

I guess I'll teach. Oh, okay. I guess I'll do the hardest thing imaginable. No, see to me. It is really hard. And it's wild that we just walk around like, I guess I'll teach. Oh, okay. I guess I'll do the hardest thing imaginable. No, see to me- And not get paid enough for it. Yes. Yeah. To me, when I hear teacher, I go, okay, I never would have thought of that. But then now that I'm thinking it,

I'm like, that sounds so fun. You just are hanging out with high school kids. Like, how is- What? You loved high school too much and it shows. You wanna hang out with high school kids? Esther. Esther. You're so short, they would not respect you. What you loved high school too much and it shows hang out with high school kids Esther You're so short. They would not respect you

Yeah, you would get things thrown at you. They'd be like guessing how old you are. They'd be hitting on you No, no, no, no, no, you have it all wrong. Miss Pivotsky would be very cool. Very well liked You had a great high school experience and it really really really comes through. I know. I loved high school. I know, right? What a... See, that's sad. Terrifying. How sad is it to be a 36-year-old woman sitting here smiling talking about high school? Did you go to a reunion? I didn't and I really regret it.

Why didn't you go? Do you have a spot? You're like, I'm in the OR. I can't. It actually did occur during a time where I was like, in my extreme career focus era, where like I missed weddings, funerals, like I missed everything important in life.

And I've come out of that now. And now I would like, just, I would go to any, I would go to like a friend's, like cousin's wedding across the world. Like I would just do anything now because I like missed that stuff. Cause I never got to do it. Did you go to a high school reunion? No, I think ours would have been 2021. Oh, okay. I think my high school is trying to like, they're, whoever the organizers are trying to con people.

What do you mean? Because every year I get invited to a reunion and I think they're just trying to like, do they ask for money? Yes. Because tickets are like 150 or 200 bucks and I'm like tickets. There are tickets. It's a ticketed event. Yes. I guess that does make sense. So I'm like, oh, this is just like a money making scheme. Oh yeah. That's not. Wait, did you like high school? No. What? Of course not.

Are you serious? You thought I liked high school? Why not? You've been walking around thinking I liked high school. Why not? Cause it was terrible. Really? I mean, parts of it were good, but I, I don't know.

I was so uncomfortable. I was very depressed. I was in marching band. Were you not depressed at all, Esther, in high school? I, no, I was not depressed in high school. I had like, I really had like a bout of anxiety. Like my first really like, oh, this is anxiety happened to me, but I was not depressed in high school.

She was dancing. She was dancing. Truly that might've been it. Like the endorphins from dancing like 10 hours of classes a week after school. Like maybe that's, maybe. Were you popular? Yeah.

Yeah, I think so. Yeah. I really. You had to think about it. Yeah. How do I say this? Yeah. Yeah.

Were you guys losers? What's going on here? Yeah. Were you a loser? Depressed, oh, depressed. And apparently the school face queen like it just it was like apparently I was the girl that sucked everyone's dick and it wasn't true. You were bullied. I was bullied it was I was so depressed I tried to kill myself so many times.

Why am I laughing? I know. The way you said it was funny that's all I'm gonna say. I know when I think about it now like I bristle I'm like oh how can have, I can't even, I can't, I relate to you so little when you, the way you talk about high school, I'm like, how can anyone enjoy that time of their life? It was so disastrous for me. Plus, also by the way, like I really, I'm so sorry you were in marching band cause that probably just like doubled the pain.

Yeah, it wasn't great. Well, my dad insisted we all do four years of band like fifth grade through eighth grade. And if you do that, all your friends are in band by the time you're in ninth grade. And like, it sounds good. No, it wasn't great. Like my best friend, Courtney, she was deciding between cheerleading and band in ninth grade because she could like do gymnastics and stuff like she would have made the cheer team. and she went with marching band and thank god she did because we would not be friends i don't think today because she would have you know she would have left you behind she would have left me behind as she should yeah uh but yeah all of us just kind of like went into marching band because we're like well this is what we've been doing for the last

few years what else is there? You know? And then I finally stopped doing marching band my senior year so that I could do drama. And that was really fun. Yeah. What did you play? I played clarinet for five or six years.

And then I played trumpet for two. Yeah. Look, my baby daddy played clarinet, so I... Really? Yeah, it's rough. Wow. I know. I'm doing a big favor to the world.

A man who played clarinet. Clarinet is a tough instrument. It is. He claims he's amazing, so... Is he? You've never heard him play? No, I've recently asked. I don't...

I know. We'll see. He thinks he's amazing and he hasn't ever played while you've been together? No. But is clarinet something you play for your spouse? I don't think it's something you play for anyone. Personally. It's not something. It's not a solo instrument. That's why you're successful. Yeah. Well, that's like something you should play in a, in an ensemble.

Okay. Yeah. I wouldn't serenade anyone. That's what I'm thinking. Yeah. On a clarinet. I would take it. I would take a serenade. I don't know. What do I care? Wow. So both of you guys did not like high school. So you were like excited for it to end. Yeah. Yeah. I thought college was going to be better. And then I was like, Oh, these are just the kids from high school. College. Yeah, college was not that much better. I cried in graduation not because I was emotional about leaving anyone like I cried because I was like it's finally over. I hated college a lot. I did hate college. Did you finish? No I did two and a half years. Nice. Yeah. You? I did three. Oh. Then I did NACA. I'm the only college graduate. Nice. What is that? Wait what's NACA? National Association of Campus Activities.

What is that? You don't know about this? It sounds like something. You'll know. It's the thing where- Stand up? Yes, comics would submit and like magicians and whoever else would submit to regions of the country

for these conferences where all these college kids would come and book you to do shows at their school. That's right. And those are nightmarish, right? Yeah, you know, they're not good. And then you'd go do the gigs and like there's no adults. It's just you meeting a bunch of kids in the cafeteria who hand you a check after you perform for people eating. We're like, can you stop? But I made enough money to quit my job and quit school and moved to LA. That's what matters.

So this is interesting. I wonder if because you guys both hated high school and you're both very hardworking, successful people, if there's something to that. You don't think you're hardworking and successful? I think you guys are more so than I am. No. Here's the thing, you have the look. I think the perception is that you like to bed-rod and it's like part of your identity but I've you are a master delegator. She can literally get things done. That's not a compliment. No, that is a compliment because that's just being resourceful. Like there are a lot of people I meet who have a lot of energy

who can just put pen to paper, who can do 20 million things in a day and still in my head get nothing done. Yes. And they're kind of in the same level and they have no like growth spurts. You on the other hand, you might not have the same level of energy. I don't either because I'm a potsy girl. But I, like you know how to delegate. I know how to be resourceful. I know who to ask, what to ask for and get things done and kind of get a team around me. Do you feel like you delegate or what's your? I think I've had to learn to do that. I mean, I have what feels now like a very big team

that feels sort of overwhelming if I think about it for too long. But I don't, nobody with a thriving career is doing it by themselves. You know, like it does take a team of people to make someone's career happen. That's a good point. At a certain level, yeah.

And it takes a certain level of like them believing in you and really like rallying for you, for you to be like, oh, I guess, yeah, I'm doing this. Yeah, also, I feel like once you start paying all these people, you're like, yeah, I'm gonna delegate. Like, you know, like you told me to hire somebody else for this specific thing, so I'm gonna to hire somebody else for this specific thing. So I'm going to need that person to do that specific thing because I am paying so much

money for that thing that I think you start to have those standards, you know, whereas like when you're younger, you're kind of like, thank you so much for representing me and taking a chance and I'm really sorry. And, you know, you sort of feel like you have to prove yourself to the people representing you. And then at a certain point you're like, oh, I am actually making everyone money now. So I'm gonna need everybody to do these things so I can keep doing the one thing that got us here.

Right. I still, every time my agent calls me, I'm like, he called me last week, it was a Friday afternoon. I was like, is this the call where you dropped me? Like every time. But it's kind of a joke because he's like mean to me and I like it. I know it's a little, little sick game we play. How long has it been your agent? For like over like I don't know at least 10 years. Oh wow. Yeah. Do you guys read your comments? Do you pay attention? Here and there. Are they too scary? I had to do. They're scary. Okay you guys read your comments? Do you pay attention? Here and there. Are they too scary?

They're scary. Okay, you can't. Oh my God, no. Yeah, I can't either. There's an after midnight subreddit that everybody pays attention to at work. And I'm like, please do not tell me. Same, same.

It's like, I don't even wanna read the good stuff because I can't read any of it. It'll just bounce right off you. Yeah, and also it's just everything hurts. You know what they say, like if you've been in something so long, like things start to hurt less, they don't. No.

You're just consuming it less and you're finally setting boundaries for yourself to like not go there and read that stuff. But yeah, no, it hurts. All of it hurts. Yeah, I think that's like human nature. It goes back to like, again, like the subconscious thing. It's like, okay, there's people in. All of it hurts. Yeah, I think that's human nature. It goes back to, again, the subconscious thing. It's like, okay, there's people in the tribe that hate me,

and that's really scary. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, and I don't know if I wanna be that person that stops hurting from things like that, because then, to me, that would mean that I've hit a threshold to where I can withstand that kind of abuse. And I don't want to be the person that would stand for that abuse.

Because then I'm like, well, in my real life, then I have a high... You know what I mean? I want to be sensitive to that because if it's something hurtful and terrible, I want my censors in real time to feel it Yeah I don't want to be someone who's very much okay with being shit on or talked down to Because that's the time gonna live my life in in the real world and I don't want that Yeah, then I'm gonna be like some guys maybe like you fucking horseless. I'm like, he's fine. He's so sweet

It's fine. I can take it. He's probably such a piece of- He's just saying I'm pretty Exactly. I don't want to be's just saying I'm pretty. Exactly. I don't wanna be that. He's flirting. So I'm okay staying sensitive. I used to think it was such a weak spot for me, but now I'm like, no, this is supposed to hurt.

I love that spin. I'm totally taking that with me. That's such a good one. You have to say that, like, oh, it's just, you know, let it roll off your shoulder. It's like, it's never gonna. Cause I'm human and I'm sensitive and it's OK to stay sensitive. I don't want to be like I don't want to have too thick a skin.

Yeah, because, you know, I think some things roll off of me and then some things don't. But the things that do really make you stop and think, OK, like this is something that I obviously like this is a wound of mine. Yes. That this person is like tapping into. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's beautiful out there. Oh my god. It's a woundy. That's a terrible place. Injurious. Wait, are there other things that we haven't touched on that you have learned on TikTok that have changed your life for the better? Oh my gosh. What about those refrigerator organizers? Oh my gosh. We just talked refrigerator organizers? Oh my gosh we

just talked about this on the show. Yeah the the fridge scaping. Oh no you're talking about organizing. No but the fridge scaping is a real thing too. That's wild. Wild. Yeah I was like I don't know how to feel about this. I might like it but I'm not sure. I'm not gonna do it because that seems like you'd have to clean. But if you were to thematically make your fridge, you know, something, what would it be? I mean, I liked when people were putting like fresh flowers in there and stuff.

I thought that was pretty. But the organizing videos, those are very satisfying to watch. Again, never gonna do it. Cause also I travel too much. I'm never home enough to have a fridge full enough that it needs to be organized. You know, like I feel like you need to be like cooking.

Yeah. And also when you get those organizers, I feel like there's pressure to buy even more stuff. Yes. Fill them up. Because if they're just there and they're empty, it's a bad look. Is that we're talking just like clear bins or something? The clear bins, you know, the soda one where you just pull one out

and the other one comes falling through. Do you guys cook? I do. You do cook. Yeah, I have to, I'm not there yet. What do you mean? You're not there yet. I'm not at that level where I can,

you know what I mean? I'm trying to get to the level where I can cook. Oh, okay. Yeah, what are you saying? Yeah, I think you've reached it. No, no, no, no. No, can you use the highest tier? I would love a personal chef to ration my food because I'm such a pig

Like a you know, a nutritionist or something like that. Yeah someone who's like here This is all you're eating today because I have no self-control. I just want to But that is a certain level right where you're you're like, oh. Yeah, not when I was thinking about. I was just thinking as a person, I think. I'm trying to get to a point where I come home at night and I'm like, oh, I'll cook some. I don't cook. I just assemble ingredients.

I feel like that's still cooking. It's not. Yeah, that's actually, I'm impressed. No, and an egg white omelet is not cooking. It's cooking. Kind of. It isn't. It's a gateway to cooking. And it's not an omelet, it's a scramble. Now, I'm impressed. No, and an egg white omelet is not cooking. It's cooking. Kind of. It isn't. It's a gateway to cooking.

And it's not an omelet, it's a scramble. Now, our... Of course, I knew that. But I feel like everything, I feel like scramble is like the ultimate life hack. Absolutely it is. It's so mindless. It's just throw everything in there

and it never, it always tastes good. Yep. You can never fuck up a scramble. Yeah. Yeah, I don't really know. That's where I live. I don't know what we're doing with like trying so hard to make it an omelet.

Like it's kind of a pointless game. I definitely was in a scramble era, the some like the spring or something like, yeah. I did have, I think it's a French style omelet when I was in DC and it was so fluffy and amazing. And I was like, I'm gonna do this. I never did, not one time. But you just have to like keep the eggs moving

the whole time on a really low heat. Everyone's nodding, everyone knew this. Okay. But I'm like, okay, who's, I mean, do you bake? No, because honestly I would love to. And like every now and then like I'll go to a farmers market and get a bunch of One fruit and like make a fruit pie and I think I'm like the greatest thing ever. I think you are. Thank you A farmers market? I know. Fruit? Pie? I know I'm amazing.

You're like every once in a while You said that in the way that I thought you're gonna say everyone's why I go to Albertsons and I get a bag of brownie mix Everyone's why I go in I get fresh farmers market fruit and I make a pie. No, it is truly obviously a magical moment when it happens. But here's the thing with baking. I love it. It's amazing. It's not safe.

It is not a safe activity. It is a dangerous red level alert activity. Because you bake something, you are getting access to fresh baked, your hand picked, hand tailored, best ingredients, favorite thing, and then you just have 24 muffins. And it's just you. You have the actual amount you've always wanted. It's you and the muffins.

And like, what are you supposed to do? They're gonna be bad tomorrow. Yeah. They're not gonna be bad tomorrow. Okay, they're not gonna be bad tomorrow, but they're gonna get worse and worse. They're gonna bad tomorrow but they're gonna get worse and worse they're gonna get worse and worse as the days goes on. There's waste to store them in the freezer. Yeah. Freeze a muffin? By the way I've done that. What are we doing? By the way I've done that it doesn't stop me. You defrosted the same day? Yeah. The freezing thing it's like oh then the next morning I'm

having... I'm sucking on this muffin. I'm gonna sit on it till it's soft again. It's not a popsicle. Like, what am I doing? But cooking I'm like getting more into. It's like, for me, it's all about get a little like, get your cozy time in research, find a recipe, make the list, buy the ingredients. Like you just have to go so slow and easy on yourself. It's just about finding that one recipe that looks,

you read through, you're like, okay, I already have three of the ingredients, which is gonna get you more. Like I can do this. She gave me this chicken thigh recipe once and then I made it and then I filmed it on TikTok and I have never- And it didn't go viral.

It did go viral in a terrible way. I mean, I looked at it and I was like, what is she doing? That's the instructions you gave me. I gave you sloppy instructions because it, okay, let's compare the picture I sent you to your finale. Cause when you're like, I made it and I looked at it and I was really proud of you for just attempting it. So I was like, hey, good job little one.

But then I was like, what did she do? Because you saw what mine looked like. You did, right? You never told me to sear them. This was a chicken thigh stew. I liked it, but the internet didn't. Oh. Yeah. How do you look at a stew, a video of a stew

and go that's wrong? I will say- Stew never looks right. But she does something that I never thought to do which is everything she cuts is symmetrical and I'm very like fast and I just throw everything in and hers was very perfect almost and Like everything looked I thought that's what you have to do because then it cooks evenly or something No, cuz I just like cut the carrot in half, throw it in there. I don't perfect the... it's a stew, you just throw it all. Okay. Yeah, but I bet it tasted okay.

It did. Yeah, let's revisit. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I have an air fryer. Is that anything? I think people are getting so creative with air fryers. I love an air fryer. Someone told me you can get one that has two chambers and make two things at once and now I have to have one. I'll probably just buy another one.

What are you making your air fryer? Everything. Salmon, vegetables. So you cook. That's not cooking, that's air frying. Okay, then. That's chopping stuff up and like maybe putting some olive oil and lemon on it and salt and then you put it in an air fryer. I, you're being too hard on yourself. I think so.

I really, I don't think I am. Someone at work told me to do salmon in the air fryer and I was like, what? And I'm like, do you have to, what if it's frozen? They're like, that's, I thought they said that's fine. And I went home and I put frozen salmon in the air fryer and I was like, what? And I'm like, do you have to, what if it's frozen? I thought they said that's fine. And I went home and I put frozen salmon in the air fryer and that does not work.

You have to thaw it. Yeah. I actually didn't fully know that either. Yeah, it didn't go great. I wouldn't recommend doing that. But I understood the concept behind it because you can take frozen bread, throw it in the toaster and it's better.

I do that all the time. And it works great. It tastes delicious. Yeah, but not with- Can you do it's better. I do that all the time. Yeah. And it works great. It tastes delicious. Yeah, but not with... Can you do toast in an air fryer? Yes. Oh my God.

You can. I've never tried... Well, I have like a... Maybe because my air fryer is like one of the like oven ones, you know? Oh. So it's a little different. It's like not like a traditional... Mine's the...

Yeah. I don't have that like... The basket. Yeah. Which feels not that adult. Not good for bread. It just feels like this is for fries and we all know it. Oh my God, Taylor, thank you so much for coming today.

Like I have been dying to chat with you and this was well worth the wait, so thank you. This was lovely. It was very nice to talk to both of you. Is After Midnight back on right now? It is back on. Season two started last week. Oh my god, exciting.

And the Save Me Tour? Save Me Tour starts in Buffalo, October 4th and 5th. And then I believe the next ones are like Savannah, Georgia, Hartford, Connecticut. What's the website? TaylorThompsonComedy.com. That's a good call. Just go to the website.

Let me stop you. Don't ruin my memory. Yeah, you're like, I've done this before. Don't go there. I'm trying to remember your tour dates. You guys go see Taylor on tour. She is so funny and I can't wait to see what you're talking about in the new hour.

Like I hope I can come see you in LA somewhere. And I'm coming to Austin, Texas, November 22nd, 23rd. And I will see you guys there. You can get tickets probably at the link in my Instagram bio. I don't think I have a website by now yet. Anything else? Is that it? Are we? I think that's it.

That's it. All right. Wow. Oh my God. Slugs, we'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Thank you, Taylor. We'll see you next week with a brand new episode. Thank you, Taylor. We'll see you on After Midnight.