Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - The Girls Give Khalyla Breakup Advice
Episode Date: July 12, 2022Thank you to our Sponsors: Truebill - Cancel unwanted subscriptions with just a tap at https://truebill.com/trashtuesday Nutrafol - Go to https://nutrafol.com and enter promo code TRASH to save $15... off your first month’s subscription + free shipping Subscribe! https://bit.ly/HitOurButtonsOfficial Clips Channel: https://bit.ly/2QDAi8XTrash Tuesday Podcast iTunes Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TrashTuesdayPodTrash Tuesday Podcast Spotify Audio Feed: https://bit.ly/TTPodAudioTrash Tuesday Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday 0:00 Abercrombie & Aeropostale5:57 Khalyla’s Breakup With Bobby Lee11:08 Skin Tag & Mole Removal17:39 Annie & Esther’s Breakup Tips For Khalyla26:20 Khalyla Exploring New Forms of Psychotherapy33:10 Esther Reads a Message From a Boy Slug37:31 Being a Secure Woman & Esther’s Parents’ Disagreements 44:09 Annie’s Brother’s Ex Girlfriend47:51 Draggy Legs the Dog & Being a Dog Mom50:53 Planning a Night Out With Khalyla53:23 Pralines ’N Cream & Rollerblading in Venice57:54 Making Enough Money to Quit Comedy 1:00:37 The Early Years of TigerBelly1:06:49 Annie Reads the Erotic Message Her Airplane Guy Sent to Her Listen to our other Podcasts: TigerBelly - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/tigerbelly/id1041201977 Meanspiration - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/meanspiration-with-annie-lederman/id1475056491 Esther Club - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/esther-club-with-esther-povitsky/id1494518220 Follow Us: Khalyla Kuhn - https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk Annie Lederman - https://www.instagram.com/annielederman Esther Povitsky - https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster Produced by: George Kimmel & Bryce Hallock - 7EQUIS Podcast Producers: Pete Forthun & Carlos Herrera Editor: Andres Rosende
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were we obsessed with abercrombie polos yes okay because i had a ton abercrombie in general
in high school was like the the way to go right and i'd always have this i would pit out so bad
in those polos because they would just hug your armpits it was not i don't know if i had i might
have only had one i didn't have that much abcrombie. It was like too expensive. Wait, did you have a Lacoste polo?
I remember I saved up and got one Lacoste polo.
Aeropostale.
Oh, okay.
I thought it was Aeropostale.
Aeropostale.
That was like the cheaper Abercrombie and fit.
It was Abercrombie when you're on a budge.
Not to like get molesty in the first 10 minutes
because I know we're supposed to start wholesome.
But the reason I can't look at even the symbol of Aeropostale is because the guy, the counselor who I got hooked up with after my last stint in a psychiatric hospital.
We call him Aeropostole.
He could not stop wearing Aeropostale.
And every time I see it now, that's the only person that I think about.
He was trying to, yeah, he was trying to pander to the children.
He was trying little kids.
Little Hollister.
Hollister, anyone?
Yeah.
That was like budget Abercrombie, right?
But Abercrombie owned them.
And then there was another one called.
It was actually budget Abercrombie.
It was like literally there. And then Abercrombie tried to have an even fancier option,
which was Rule, I think.
So it was Rule and then Abercrombie and then Hollister.
But it was all the same stuff.
It was just a different tag on it.
I don't know if I've ever told Esther this,
but when I do poses with people at the meet and greets,
we do like eat out and then we always do waffle.
I go, do waffles rule.
I don't even know if they know what it is.
Waffles rule is from Estherher over the pandemic just random this is before she started speaking we just randomly waffles rule do you really like waffles i don't even know why i said
it but it was said with so much passion that it got flagged yeah like it was so passionate from
my gut from my core like you know when you speak and it yeah like it was so passionate from my gut from my
core like you know when you speak and it's like it's god is speaking through you yeah but do you
like waffles i'm not even that much of a waffles girl but she just had a moment but i'm like
waffles rule they do fucking like they actually do they cup the butter and the when you think
yes crispy outside yes but i said that on a group facetime with annie and i can't remember if it was carlos
or a friend john let's just say carlos but they both just they they went at me now i actually have
a i'll call it a um i have an offering today i need an offering well actually you're not involved in this but you
you you will be the witness okay so today i am going to pay off a debt of annie's
that she may not may not be front of mine but she knows about it and i i am a i'm going to
pay off this debt for her do you have any idea what it is? No. Can I have clues?
I want to guess.
Okay.
It's something you borrowed from someone.
Oh, I know what it is.
Okay.
Okay.
So, Annie.
Oh, my God.
Yes.
A few years.
Honestly, I just saw a strap in there, and I was like, if this is a hanging joke, you're
the most fucked up person here. There's a strap. I was like, if this is a hanging joke, you're the most fucked up person here.
There's a strap.
That's my Lululemon belt bag.
Honestly, all I saw was the belt.
I was like, oh my God, she's a genius.
So several years ago, we lost one of our dear friends, Brody Stevens, and someone came out with like this limited edition hoodie to celebrate him.
This is the day I saw it.
And Carlos ordered one and Annie borrowed it and destroyed it.
I got it so dirty that I couldn't give it back.
However, I have had a pristine, never been worn one in my closet
and I have decided to pay off your debt and gift it to Carlos.
Oh my God.
Carlos, you have to pay me for it somehow somehow i must
make money off of this such a big deal thank you so it really is a cute sweater it's so cute now
i feel like we're in some sort of a financial triangle is that why are you trying to get
something from me well i, I have something.
Congratulations on your breakup.
We're not going to let things be dark.
We're not going to let things be dark.
Last week, we were kind of victims, and that's okay.
But we had our victim moment.
We're not victims anymore.
We had our pity party.
Kalilah is fucking single, bitches.
Kalilah's single.
We're celebrating.
We're not going to be sad.
Breakups always end up being a good thing.
Always.
Even when they don't feel like it, they always end up being a pivotal moment. But I know you're not ready to be sad breakups are always end up being a good thing always even when they don't feel like it they always end up being the a pivotal moment but i know you're not ready to get out there sorry guys dude i told annie yesterday i think in like the peak of my sadness
or and it wasn't yesterday but i was like i'm just gonna eat pussy for the rest of my life
and she's like do not say that around esther do not say that around Esther. Esther's ringing the bell.
No, I'm going to be respectful.
I am in a relationship.
Are you going to ring the bell later when you get home?
Look, I've had thoughts, whatever.
I'm married almost.
Oh, now that it becomes real.
Look at that.
No, it's not real because I'm seeing Dave.
I'm seeing him casually for 10 years we're casually seeing each other
we're seeing each other passing each other left and right what i feel is that what we have to
offer you is that annie and i were born to be wing women yes it's all good because i'm i i'm
literally like terrified of you and stepping out the house. So your first task would be
to pry me out of the house. Yes. No, we got
to get you out of the house. I'm starting to feel like I'm going to be able to get you
out of the house. You almost did to boot barn.
Honestly, and then I bailed on my boot barn
idea, but we got to go. That was
a good start, though. She said boot barn.
And I was like, wherever we go will be
fun. I promise you that is something I can offer people.
I promise you that wherever
we go, it will be fun. I think that's something i can offer people i promise you that wherever we go it
will be fun i think that's a good thing to be able to offer it is but we will take you have fun it's
like you've had a heavy blanket over you okay you've been going through things you couldn't
express you couldn't talk about so you could only tell little pieces that fucking sucks not that you have to tell but it it weighs on you and now
it's time to fucking rise up but are you do you feel single yet no okay i think it's gonna be
a while like i'm not kidding you like i might like i wasn't kidding when i was like i'm just
gonna eat pussy for the rest of my life like i'm so uh pull it out all of a sudden we look over and
uh carlos is like mangining he's talking but this wasn't you know like for those who don't know like
this hasn't been like it wasn't like an overnight decision we went into couples therapy and sometimes
couples therapy um no it just prepares you for the end. Yeah.
And I think that without knowing it or without seeing it for a long time, I think that ultimately that's what it was. Yeah, you did like a conscious uncoupling.
I didn't want to say the word.
You got to just say it, guys.
We're goop.
We're goop.
We're goop.
We're goop.
You can try to deny it.
We're goop.
I'm posh and we're all goop.
Do you know what I mean?
Goop immediately takes legal action. deny it. We're Goop. I'm posh and we're all Goop. Do you know what I mean? Goop immediately takes legal action.
And that's what we would do.
That's Goop.
Can we do that instead of choogy?
It's like a positive one.
That's Goop.
Yeah.
But yeah, it's been a long, not a long time, but like the last year, it's been in deliberation.
It's been on the table, right?
Do we, do we not?
And then you guys have been privy to that, except that everyone else hasn't's been in deliberation. It's been on the table, right? Do we, do we not? And then you guys
have been privy to that
except that everyone else
hasn't been privy to that.
A little privy.
So they need to catch up.
We need to catch up.
Right, right.
So when like the whole
Brendan Schaub thing happened,
he almost like forced it out of us
even though we weren't ready
to talk about it yet.
And we want to thank him
for that.
Thank you.
So I guess like in a sense,
like, you know,
that was a blessing in disguise
because it really like forced us to like tackle head on.
Because I think we would have taken much longer to deliberate.
And this sort of pushed it right in the forefront of our like thoughts and consciousness.
But I'm not kidding you guys.
Like, we've never been closer.
Yeah.
What?
Well, this is my break up advice is not going to work for this relationship
that is mine is move to the other coast get away from them we're traveling yeah we're going to the
philippines in september it's like we're more the pressure of um the label completely just like
dissolved all of like these layers of like resentment and whatnot it just kind of like went away and then it went
we're back to being like the peak versions of ourselves which is like truly truly obsessed
with each other yeah but not in a romantic way just simply not in a romantic way but still like
i've always felt that when i met bobby it was like i've said this over and over again like a war
comrade like when i met him i was like i don't need you to give I don't need to explain to you who I am I get you you get me it was just
like kindred right and we're back to that we're back to being able to like communicate without
worrying about like each other's like feeling so much that's how Esther and I went with our
friendship we had to take the sex out sex is confusing it really does confuse i was getting mad at her i was like
one of you ate me out last night and it was at your house one of us still wants it kind of
i kept showing up late to her house to get eaten out okay so i used to watch this japanese reality
show called terrace house and in terrace house they would do this ritual like if you're hurting
or if you're going through a transition in your life they say all of those feelings are in the tips of your hair so they would cut they
would trim the tips of their hair i went a different route and i think annie trimmed your
bush no i trimmed my neck i took out all of these skin tags off my neck i can't believe did you do
this yesterday i did this yes you did it yourself and bobby got his mole removed too i got my mole
my my one of my for my whole life I had that mole.
That's weird.
I have all these moles growing all of a sudden.
I'm just kidding.
Like I got your guys' moles because we're connected.
We are.
Don't grab your tits like they're moles.
They're just moles.
Wait, did you take those off yourself?
No, Esther.
I have taken them off myself before using a string.
Don't look at me like that was not a crazy thing. You're like, why would you even? That's insane. She burned her neck off. She said she took them off myself before using a string. Don't look at me like that was not a crazy thing.
You're like, why would you?
That's insane.
She burned her neck.
She said she took them off.
I used to.
I used to have a skin tag on my eye with a string to kind of cut the blood circulation
and eventually it just falls off.
But that was when it did.
Yeah.
I mean, there were days of no health insurance.
You know, you had to do, you know, take matters into take moles into your own hands.
That health insurance. You know, you had to do, you know, take matters into, take moles into your own hands. I mean, those,
that health insurance was,
okay, can I tell you
my dermatologist experience,
actually?
Because I've never been to,
like, I had,
I went to a dermatologist
when I was a teenager.
And that's it.
Because I've not had
health insurance
until, like, a year ago.
So I go to the dermatologist,
and this is how
I found my dermatologist.
This is very me,
how I found it.
I was going to my TMJ doctor
and there was just a pretty woman
just walked,
it's actually very Esther.
Yes.
A pretty woman who's like,
I don't know how old she is,
but she had gray hair,
but her face was like insane,
walked into this
and I just followed her in,
pushed her up against the,
no.
I followed her in
and I was like,
can I,
like,
I want to get my thing removed
and I want to look like you.
And she just, like, made me an appointment.
And then it was the best office.
That is the most Annie story I've ever heard.
And I just went in, like, two weeks later and I got my mole removed.
But I've had forever I've been wanting to get that removed.
But you only have, like, at least you don't have pizza neck.
Look at my neck.
But I never noticed you had any.
Yeah.
I had to get one removed back here, too.
And I'm going to get, like, there's a couple more I'm going to get removed.
But they can only do three at a time in my office. I never noticed you had any. Yeah. I had to get one removed back here, too. And I'm going to get, like, there's a couple more I'm going to get removed.
But they can only do three at a time in my office.
So Bobby got his mole removed not because he wanted to.
It was because he was on H3 with Ethan Klein.
And Ethan Klein's, like, dude that thinks cancerous.
And I looked at it.
I was like, it doesn't look cancerous. But I was like, it is big.
So let's get it checked out.
Where is it?
It was on his neck.
Okay.
And so he got it removed and the doctor straight up told him like 99.9 percent like this isn't cancerous
but we're gonna take it out anyways and you know get it biopsied but no so now he's like enraged
at Ethan Klein because he really liked that mole it was a mole like he was um um he had feelings for well he's getting rid of all of his
moles i'm just like i don't think you had moles on your neck it was a mole there was skin tags
i don't recall seeing a skin tag ever skin tags are a little lighter so not as obvious as this
is chicken pox and she's lying it's like this bitch has neck monkey let me make out with you i'll give you what i got okay
well this is i'm glad you and bobby i you i'm not worried about but i'm glad everyone is going
the dermatologist we need to get our skin checked yearly like skin cancer is a thing you know i try
to get them to give me all the treatments too i was like what should i get i've never had anything
in my face and they were like nothing i was like oh my god i went to an honest dermatologist how annoying
so i got retinol like i'm gonna start yeah i'm gonna start using retinol you yeah you
you don't age it's weird neither do you it's actually really weird it's actually so creepy
i'm really sad that i can't get retinol because i have eczema i don't think if you guys know
anything if you have like dermatology tips like i've wanted to use retinol because it'll dry your skin out it
fucks me up like it really causes like big patches of like isn't that what it's supposed to do in the
beginning though or no um yeah it's it's different like vitamin c i have to be careful with like
certain age like age defying cosmetic stuff I cannot use because my skin is so sensitive.
Oh, that's cute.
I know last week I was like sensitive skin.
Dude.
I was joking.
I don't even, I don't know.
My best friend's like was very straight to the point and blunt in terms of breakup advice,
which I will ask from you in a second.
But she was just like, look, she's like,
I'm not going to try and make you feel better,
but you're single now.
It's not a good time to be ugly.
So work out, get your skin in order.
And that's all I have to say.
And you got your skin tags removed?
I got my skin tags removed.
With Bobby.
With Bobby.
You guys can like glow up together for being single.
We're getting
he's getting his
laser on his face
for his liver spots
so we're gonna go
to a
appointment together
wow
he's my
he's my girl now
wait
I'm like
so jealous
right now
that Bobby texts her back
that especially
but like
I don't know
just the thought of like
you sound like
you're in like
this super like codependent not just the thought of like you sound like you're in like this super
like codependent not in a bad way like you guys are best buds like i want that you don't have
that with dave no dave's like i'm going to poker see i know dave i literally have to like beg him
i'm like can we talk just like have a chat today like and then you have nothing to say you're like
just looking at him even one thing that'll make you even more jealous is that bobby loves to shop way more than me
and he loves to shop for very expensive online or out in the everywhere okay anywhere that he
sees something he wants to go for it so he he you know i'm sorry guys i want i'm excited for you i feel like i am i identify as like one of
like a queen of platonic female male friendships but i've never that's a really nice way of putting
that you're ugly it's so true but i've never had it with an ex i'm wondering like how that is
because you're like what's it like to like have your ex invite you over.
Yeah.
And not just be like driving by that.
Not call the cops on you.
I mean, Esther would never leave.
Like if you were in a live in relationship and they broke up with you, you would just stay living.
I would be like, OK.
You should squat.
Yeah.
Get me out.
Go ahead.
Try.
They just pick you up.
They go.
go ahead try they just pick you up they go wait i have i i want to ask you guys like what are how do i get through this like what are some breakup okay for me and everyone else out there
going okay for me my number one rule is busy busy busy busy literally fill up that calendar
make plans you have to stay busy it's's all you need. Oh, God.
I got you a clit sucker.
I've never had one of these before. By the way, I spent $500 at the sex shop yesterday.
And then immediately we got tagged by a sex company.
I was like, do you guys need toys?
Like on the way over we did.
I was like, yeah.
Being tested by the universe.
Money's nothing.
But I got you. I thought this was like a very regal color for you can i see there was navy blue white it's weird it's very american it looks very holy
um and then there was there was one that was like red red but i thought this one
is like wine color for you and then i had to get you know how you got to give someone else that's so cute
you treat me like a baby
I got this for Esther
here you go
pull it out
what the
what the
Annie is this a butt plug that would give me a rabbit tail yes it is yes it is wait it's actually
so cute i want to wear it i know put it in i mean it honestly doesn't not look good
it looks so cute it looks so cute. It looks so cute.
It honestly does.
And I think we have our thumbnail.
I think we have our cum nail.
And then I got this.
What did you get yourself?
I got myself just a little lipstick one.
Oh, let me see.
So I can use it while we're banging because I don't.
I had like a.
While we're banging.
Yes, while we're banging.
And then I got these that I thought we could play with, but I'm going to use them with. we're banging because i don't i had like a while we're banging yes while we're banging and then i
got these but that i thought we could play with but i'm going to use them with todd was like for
me or for you i go this might not work if you think it might be for you this might be the problem
i'm like i should be being fucking purple choked up against the wall right now
but i was thinking i haven't explored like too much like playful submission stuff and I went to
the store called oh god the thing the name I went to the cupid's closet and the girl working there
was like what's cute about our store is that it's like it has just like light snm stuff like if you
want to get into it like light bondage stuff introductory I was like nobody ever said light
bondage and I think that's why I haven't tried it because it's always like hardcore
yeah it's threatening butt cheeks are tied up are you keeping that point yeah like I'm like I
wouldn't let's dip our toe wait are you keeping that for yourself I am going to it's called a
hog tie set by the way I keep falling for the ads where they're about,
they're like, oh, this is a good filter app or something.
Right, right.
Which like, when am I ever going to use those?
Yeah.
And I will download them and then do the free trial.
I found out I had three that were charging me $7.99 a week.
A week.
They were doing a week ones.
Annie.
I never used them or looked at them thank you
well you guys know that i also um used to pay a lot for an anime subscription that i didn't know
i already had three of also i had like an insect finder app that i had for like six years the
darkest one i've had brain game things where i thought it was going to make me a smarter person,
but it just made me poor and dumb
because I paid a lot of money every year for many years.
They were like, pronounce subscription.
You're like, I'm stumped.
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Back to tips.
Busy.
Stay busy.
No idle time.
Masturbate.
The thing is, you're spending so much time with your ex, which is like, I don't really know how to navigate.
Yeah, because I would say usually what I do is like, we really find the worst things about
them.
And we obviously don't want to do that because you guys are still you know partners in so
many ways but I usually what my usual breakup and I'm good I used to pitch a show several times never
got picked up I used to pitch it a lot uh but about me having people go through breakups because
you have to villainize the person even if you don't mean it you just need to do it for like
a month you have to just find the worst thing about them so you just break that like you gotta knock them off whatever
pedestal they're still on oh my god wait you know what breakup advice my dad gave me when i went
through my horrible you guys know my high school ex who i drive by his house all the time when he
that was the worst time of my life like i'd never been anything like that like like food didn't even taste like anything
the dream i looked really oh my god but my dad was like he's so dramatic now that i look back
he's like you have to go to their funeral in your head he's like picture their funeral like you start
cracking up he's like they have to be dead like there's no contact kind of
thing i which but i can't you know no contact honestly is the best way but what are we trying
so like i'm i'm gonna go on a week-long um spearfishing trip are you already jealous when
she was like a week long and we weren't invited like i don't know what you want to say but i'm
pissed are you breaking up with me bitch bitch? You have no contact with me?
It's just I'm on a boat every day.
I don't have a choice but to be nauseous and go for fish.
That's perfect.
I don't really have a whole lot of Wi-Fi out there.
There's a whole lot of not a lot of communication.
So I think that'll be good for me.
But the whole like keep busy thing, i think in the past i've always
done that and i think it's a good way to um um if you're really really deep in the funk
but like you know obviously i've been in a lot of fucking therapy with bobby on my own blah blah
blah um i um i've never been able to like sit with my own grief I've always coped in unhealthy ways
I've never been able to sit with a discomfort
so I'm trying that
I'm trying not to reach for people or things
I'm just trying to like sit with it
get to know this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach
and hopefully like reconcile with that feeling
and say okay like you live here now
and like just
take it out on the lobsters
stab those fucking lobsters and bring them to me
i will it is true you want to feel it because you always i think like i'm always the person
i feel it so hard and then you get it out of the way you don't want to be the person where it's
coming up for months and years i don't want it to come up six months from now because i didn't deal with it correctly like it's like i don't have a problem ruminating and i think a lot of when i was dating
like younger men tend to do this a lot or that's a pattern i've seen where it's like straight
rebound get back on that horse dude and all the homies are just like rallying them up and that's
gonna be so bad for them six months down the road it's fun now get your dick wet all of that stuff but it it's not in any way like healing it's also sad
like when you fuck someone that's not the person that you like wanted to be with or you're used to
being with it's it's worse it makes things way worse and it might be exciting the first time
but then it's like empty if you're not ready that you're right that hurts is so sad i probably always hurts with you little
one but i am doing something next week that i wanted to get you guys's take on and you guys
know i'm stone cold sober um i drink alcohol what twice a year the last time was on my she's stone
cold sober she's her shoulders are stone cold steve austin i used to love stone cold Steve Austin. I used to love Stone Cold.
I met him.
That is so weird.
Yeah, in Santa Fe.
I love him.
I love everything.
I like his life story.
Everything.
What a guy.
I just think of like little boys in elementary school.
WWE?
Yeah.
Stop swishing and sliding around.
Oh, God.
It's nasty.
Ew, Esther.
That's never been my type.
oh Esther that's never been my type but next week I am um doing a ketamine assisted psychotherapy session that's 90 minutes long and it's with a doctor and a therapist and they give you an
intramuscular injection you sit in a mood pod and you just go through a journey and I've I'm
terrified because I don't even drink coffee so I don't like mind altering
things but I think that I'm I've hit a wall a little bit with talk therapy and I'm ready to
kind of yeah I don't know what is that I've only done I've only done out your muscle ketamine in
the pod that is my tesla so I don't I think it's going to be great for you because it's a
disassociative and so it helps you be able to i think it's going to be great for you because it's a disassociative
yeah and so it helps you be able to look at what's happened to you without being attached
to the feelings of it so it helps you and they're going to be with her to help her
so you'll be safe yeah and they're experts at it and stuff it's much better than doing it just like
raver style can you compare it to like an edible high like how is it similar you feel like you're in a
fucking cloud like it's like everything's very soft and yeah i don't know but what i have a
question though so this session next week is in encinitas it's in san diego but bobby and i are
having a day in san diego too we're driving there together is that not a good idea? What the hell is this?
Yeah, you got to figure something out because it's just going to take longer.
Yeah. It's just going to take longer is the only issue.
To be honest.
It's like, I understand what you're doing and I think you guys can get back to this
place.
But you are a codependent person.
So you have put so much, and this is, we are not doing any blamesies here.
There's no like negatives or anything.
You have put all of your
focus on this crazy funny little whirlwind of a man and you are not you have to focus on yourself
and i don't even think you probably know what you want at this no no no i'm not out of the freaking
merc of it all what do you want out of what, what do you want out of the ketamine experience?
Do you know that? I want to, so I thought that I had done a lot of work on myself
and I was really sort of getting to a place of like loving myself again, all of that. But
when the whole breakup thing happened and even speaking to you guys, I realized that I have a long way to go in terms of self-worth.
There's just I have my tank is very low.
Very common, by the way.
Extremely common.
It's as someone that studies hypnotism and stuff, almost everything leads back to self-love and self-worth.
And I'm very insecure and I'm frightened a lot.
So those are but the therapist was like,
the ketamine will go where it needs to go.
So you might have,
walk in with an intention of saying,
these are the parts that I want to fix.
She's like,
but the ketamine might take you like somewhere else.
That's more urgent,
more important.
So you just have to like be open.
So I don't know.
We'll see you guys.
Dude,
I would love.
I know for a fact it's going to be good.
I would love to like put an emphasis this summer or whatever like on building self-worth for all of us and like for our listeners and stuff.
Because it is kind of like an underrated area to focus on.
Because whenever I am really up on it and making sure that that tank is full, I'm much my life is so much better and it's it takes
work i think we're having a self-worth summer yes i'm 100 down and mary lou rodriguez my hypnotist
is going to do a group session on us and i cannot fucking wait i mean you want a skims endorsement
oh we shall have it i'm telling you guys this shit works like i'm leaning into my goop this
summer too like i don't give a fuck like i would so much rather people be like i'm leaning into
my goop too i'm we've all leaned into it accidentally i'm like oh how did it get on my
shoulder why is it on my forehead as we turn around esther's doing a handstand
but i do think that it is like uh because i feel like it was very cathartic last week it was really
nice to kind of like hear you say your piece and stuff but it's also I think like we're about
moving on getting better healing ourselves no I'm I'm on board fully on board with that
self-worth is so the key to like a good life it just really is no it's 100%
yeah it's you have to have it because our fear our anxiety our insecurities our feelings of lack
about ourselves that's where all the bad shit comes from and i just do not want to enter another
friendship relationship until my tank is like full again because then I'm just gonna resort back to being
insecure well then the cum will just spill over because your tank's full also if we're we're
grandfathered in right yeah you're grandfathered in you're grandfathered I don't know what that
means but we all realize that it works wait Annie I have a question for you like how do you how do
you decide which moles stay which moles go i just like this mole and
the other mole just like was on the corner of my jawline and it was just like catching the light
it was just fucking annoying yeah okay but you know what she taught me that if there's hair in
the mole it's healthy that's what i've been that's i thought that was a myth but that's
my mom has been saying that my whole life so i don't want to brag but my pussy does not have cancer
i mean the hair grows mine has a lot more not cancer than yours my friends and it's weird
because it's per capita too you guys i haven't waxed in months and and there's still only one
hair can i just show you i know i've shown you my pussy so many times but like please not enough honestly maddening to me but i just have no regrowth when you see my there's what a
bitch she's like i'm not ready to date but it won't grow back that is insane it looks like
homerson parlos has more hair than her pussy it's like wow i like that it's like that's hot though
it looks like there's supposed to be a penis there.
Esther, you know laser would work for that because it's dark.
What do you mean?
Laser works better on dark hair.
Really?
Yeah.
Kalilah, want to come laser it?
Wait, I actually have to read a message that I got from a slug that is so awesome.
So you know how last week we were talking about like man whores
and like guys who hook up a lot and you know whatever like is there a stigma that we have
against them whatever um okay so this guy dm me and i have to read it i'm not gonna reveal his
identity and i got his permission so cool he wrote hi esther just watched the last pod i used to be a complete man whore y'all were right it was extremely hollow
and i never finished no way to he said no way to word that where it's not gross sorry i am
extremely glad i was like that i had to grow up and get out of my get it that out of my system
and there's no situation where i would ever cheat now also the nanosecond i met my now wife i change
and i have never looked at any other
woman the same way and with her i've never not finished again oh gross but it's because i needed
intimacy love doesn't hurt that she's the most beautiful thing of all time also for the record
all my guy friends that watch tiger belly or tt love kalilah oh yeah sorry he's blah blah blah
um to end on a positive note my wife is 99.9 straight but so gay for all three
of y'all and i got her into tt have a nice day lady but isn't that cool like because i don't
think there's any woman who got through their 20s without hooking up with a guy that was using them
for sex right yeah like we've all so it's almost like nice to hear sometimes you're the guy i don't remember my fucking 20s but i'm just saying like the man whores are out there and like
they're man whores with hearts of gold yeah and it's like nice to hear someone say like i did that
and it was wrong and it wasn't helpful for me and now he feels better right he was saying that it
was helpful for him because he got through it like he's not that he doesn't regret it right right no but i
think that's a that's best case scenario right yeah it's like you know you're you just um you
know you let your you allow your dick to take the lead when you're young 20 and fucking horny um and then eventually you learn the hard way that
something is lacking and you're you can't come and so yeah and then you grow from that that's
like a best case scenario of doing it wrong realizing and then finding a perfect solution
yeah um but it's not like that any like annie says it's not like that for a lot of men in fact
you guys are in an industry where you're around a lot of men that are in their 40s that still
behave that way yeah i've never grown out of it who seem to think it's sort of like this
you know badge of honor to you know continue to you know like collect women to just objectify
right well it makes sense because you're in a like it's like
a rock star position if you're a comedian like i feel like comedy used to be no no let me because
comedy used to be like self-deprecating on this fucking ba ba ba and then it turned into like
i have the best sneakers i have this thing and i fucking dress cute for the stage but I used to dress like literally like a troll and go up like
you know
but it's like comedy's had
a new thing where it's like much more like
yeah and so
it kind of makes sense that a lot of guys
who couldn't get
pussy in high school because they like
maybe weren't good looking enough or confident enough
are now have gotten the skill set that is
like attractive to women we always like a guy with a sense of humor so
they can they have a position to like be more but that is literally like okay let's say i grew up
and my parents said you can never have cupcakes and then now i'm 18 and i'm free and it's like
i can have every cupcake i ever wanted it's like that's sick and sad if i go and
eat 12 cupcakes every night she won't even eat one bite that's how i felt about naps i wasn't
allowed to take naps as a child i remember thinking when i'm 18 and when i have the freedom
i'm just gonna sleep all fucking day and look at you now depressed as shit can't get out of bed
sweaty palms ripping toilet paper in our hands at all
times paper towel you honestly you manifested this oh how you said i want to take naps as an adult
and you made me depressed sluggish little bitch i watched this tiktok that was like
the it was i'll just play you the audio that was really special esther oh yeah that message
i really really like what he said and it's very like promising yeah exactly because i i like you
said a lot of the men especially in our industry have not had that growth so it's so meaningful
for me to see a man hear from a man that has had that growth right there's hope all right so this
is what i like i
like with this we need headphones for this oh an insecure woman will stir up trouble because she
needs to be the winner but a secure woman will do nothing because she knows she wins either way
love that where were you three months ago bitch i know love that you know what i love most about it i love to do nothing
more than more than the average gal i'm sold on the nothing part but also not like not like in a
manipulative way to like be like i'm not responding to people or whatever but it is sort of like if
you do start thinking like what am i fighting for why am I trying to be right in these situations? What do I need to, like, who am I trying to win over?
It's just ego, right?
You feel the need to, like, for victory somehow.
Because it is a salve to be like, oh, I was right there.
It's a very, it's very, it's comforting to the ego.
But, like, you know, truly it's like life moves on.
Wrong or right, it just moves forward it doesn't matter
and everyone has a different interpretation of what's right right right i'll get you kylie
yes sure i'll buy you all the kylie in the world
my parents like they literally disagree every single thing that comes out of one of the other
mouth the other one is so quick to disagree like it's and it's so funny my dad at one point he
grabbed my mom's arm lifted it up he goes she's the undefeated champion like because she just
kept like getting her way and i just see them they're disagreeing
that would throw me into her rage if someone did that to me if i was trying to make a point
so funny it's so funny we have a new thing too in my family which was inspired by my sister which
is we go i i surrender so it's like if you're ever in a thing it's like you just go like I surrender oh I like that it's amazing we have a lot of tools that that come out of that house but um
the thing that was so shocking to me so like literally they're always disagreeing
always like on each other never want so and I always say like it's hard for me because then my
I'm never my parents are I'm never with them both happy because one wants
to go to this restaurant the other one oh my god that's why you think they're not happy around you
the lies we tell ourselves and guys this is a good self-worth method you just make up some
bullshit wait but then i had alone time with each of them back to back like in the morning my mom
came down to the basement before my dad woke up.
And then later when I went on my walk with my dad and both privately,
first,
my mom goes,
your daddy's turning 79.
Like,
I don't know what I'll do without him.
I,
which I'm like,
my parents do that to me too.
My mom be like,
I've never lived alone before.
Mom,
I can't handle this.
So thirsty.
And then I go, and then when I'm with my daddy, he be like, I've never lived alone before. I'm like, Mom, I'm so thirsty. And then I go with my daddy.
He's like, I don't know how your mom does all that she does.
And I'm like, can you guys tell each other this?
They can't.
So many people do have that with you.
But do your parents give compliments to your friends and not you?
They do to me.
Your mom would be like, I love your story.
It's so funny.
It's like too intense to say it to your own kid.
I don't know if that's.
I think so.
Yeah, I think it's also the same reason why.
And all of our fans say that I'm funnier.
It's like the same thing.
They can.
No, my mom.
Remember the night my mom came to my like Esther and Friends show and we're like, who's
your favorite?
She's like, I really liked Annie.
No, she's like, Annie was really funny.
I did smash and I did even come out during
your set yeah my mom is very physically affectionate to everybody but my sister and i
so i think that makes sense and there's something it's it's self-worth again because it's you're her
hmm maybe i gotta there has to be a study about this because i really look at her hug other people
with so much envy. I'm like,
wow, she really gives great hugs. Thank God my mom doesn't give affection to anybody. So I'm good.
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my mother once i remember in high school my mom was taking my brother's girlfriend who he was
obviously going to break up with to the art museum the Philadelphia art museum I was like
are you fucking kidding me
bitch I was like I would like to go see
hey mom you know the art skills you pass
down to your true real birth daughter
super artistic and we go I would love
to go to that why are you bringing this bitch
sucking Max's dick up in his room
this slut that's fucking
got her mouth filled with our fucking
our Max's member
the turn that that story took it was just so gross and weird like that my parents like
they weren't very strict but like definitely sex was happening in my brother's room yeah that is
interesting is there a natural inclination for parents to be less strict with a boy having sex versus a girl?
Well, I don't know.
One of his girlfriend's dads came in and fucking flipped out.
Was like, where are they?
My mom's like, upstairs.
Came to your house?
Yeah, like he was like, he had no clue.
If you send your kids over to the letterman's house, who knows if they'll even come back.
The dad came to your house? To pick her up and was like, where is she?
Get your back blown out upstairs.
Oh, my God.
To a Buffy.
Your daughter's gone like this to a Buffy got milk poster.
Oh, no.
And let me tell you, she got milk.
Oh, no. Annie, poster. Oh, no. And let me tell you, she got milk. Oh, no, Annie, no.
Annie, no.
Are you going to ask him
about his cum?
I'm going to ask him
about the girl.
You're feeling lucky today.
Max.
Pick up, Max.
Remember that one time
you picked up?
Max?
Max.
Oh.
It was like you remember when that girl's dad came.
I don't think he was ever allowed to see her again.
I really think that she was banned from my brother's life after that.
Gosh, you've got to, like, not forbid children because they'll double down and find other ways.
They'll be jerking each other off under the table you're sitting at.
Uh-huh. Yeah. You got to just. that's where the old hole in the popcorn started let
freedom ring i say let freedom ring we gotta go to the movies we gotta take you out i'm gonna
take you on dates let's go to craigs oh yeah let's say kalilah to craigs on a breakup we'll
do a breakup tour for you i hate to say this but i think craigs is overrated i've never been there
so i like the food i have like a great order there that i love you have to tell me that do you know what i like
i like going on tiktok and seeing esther with famous people i go do it bitch blow our podcast
up i have a request i know my parents have a request i will allow you guys to take me to
dinner but it's got to be at kato what's that it's a restaurant in downtown la and it's probably my most favorite
dessert of my entire life um so yes that's my request esther will feed you her kato you're not
gonna be happy why because it's it's kato what's the food it's expensive oh we are happy you are
crazy you are the only jew on this out of the, the three people here, the Judaists over here, you are actually the Jewish.
Wait, I'm part Ashkenazi.
You are?
We know which part.
Like literally like 3%.
I spend, that's where, when I spend, it's on food.
Me too.
Me too.
What I spend is on food, clothes, travel, my parents.
Family, yeah.
Love that.
It's a big money drainer.
Yeah.
My most massive money drainer is family stuff.
I got to say, now that you have more time on your hands, can we get draggy legs?
The dog?
Draggy legs.
Do you know the history of draggy legs, Esther?
Yes, I know all about this. You guys are obsessed with this dog you found that has draggy legs? The dog? Draggy legs. Do you know the history of draggy legs, Esther? Yes, I know all about this.
You guys are obsessed with this dog you found that has draggy legs.
But the fact that you're still jealous of the dog is so crazy.
Still truly, actually jealous.
Not like the camera's not.
There's no lying here.
That was true.
Like fucking pissed off that this fucking dog is taking it.
It's so funny if we kick ester off
the podcast and draggy legs is her replacement can i tell you guys he just caught me can i tell
you guys that draggy legs is no longer dragging her legs because i had um a wheelchair sent to
the philippines and now she she we got you one bitch you sent it back you sent it back draggy
legs got a wheel not a wheelchair the the wheels for. I love a wheels for legs dog. I love a wheels for legs dog.
So we can still adopt her. I'm going to break Randy's hips when I go home.
I hate how Randy just glides effortlessly. He is so bouncy and he bounces high. He is so popular,
guys. I never thought I would have a dog that's like just out popularizing me so hard it's like crazy oh perhaps you're projecting the jealousy of the
dogs i give him a little kick when we go out no he really is i'm proud of him though because i
take ownership over him you stupid bitch he's your baby his spirit is so pure and happy he's so happy i'm certainly not projecting that
you're a happy spirit it's in the dig you gotta dig for it but um he fourth of july we went to
my friend's pool party and people were just staring at it was just so funny everyone's like
look at how he does this and that it's like you know when you're validated you're like he is cute but we
went into Rite Aid the other night and this girl goes is that Randy go yes it is he's like a little
local celebrity oh I love having my little dog child so much I know this seems a kind of random
but I'm really happy right now with a dog baby yes that is really right for me right now yes
that and i'll just leave that at that like i am really glad i don't have a baby right now
i'll tell you this much like dogs are a lifesaver during breakups you can cry right in their bellies
and they don't care and they they like the little um why does your mouth have to be so close to the penis in this collides back to her old ways it's hard you're not saying you hook up with as a dog as you go
you have such an attractive mouth it's really so good i really love your gaps so much i know
we talk about it every you know um they're getting gappier i looked in the mirror the other day and
so now i'm i actually have gaps on like like these teeth as well. And yeah.
Is that good?
I don't know.
I don't know why my teeth are –
They're tongue thrusting.
What?
Maybe tongue thrusting, making your palate wider.
I don't know.
Guys, I got to go.
A lot of jokes here.
I went and did – Josh Wolf is shooting a show and I went and watched him do like a strip pole dance.
He had a competition with his son.
And they had this girl, Nicole, the pole there.
And she will be teaching me to twerk.
So I just want to let you guys know that will be happening sometime soon.
She was really amazing.
Pole dancers are fucking ripped.
I would love to do a pole dancing private lesson with you guys.
Yes, but you're the pole.
Well, just dancers in general, pole or not, they have just the most.
But that, when she does the.
It takes so much effort and core to keep yourself steady in that position.
It was very impressive.
Not when Josh and his son did it, but when she did it, it was really.
I mean, I got props for these bitches
i'll say this if we're gonna go out to like a dinner just to like yeah exactly you got me
what day are we gonna should we just plan it right now because we always fake but we're gonna do it
for real i've been to two since we've talked about it esther's been should we bring her with us on
friday yeah we're free friday night come with us tomorrow night what are you guys doing party at kesha's house party maybe maybe don't say maybe
just come she can say maybe let's yeah maybe no we're not we're dragging her remember how you like
to be dragged you're not the only one likes to be dragged bitch that sounds fun that sounds fun if
i'm feeling up for it i will text you in the morning okay we can revisit yeah kasha's king i don't know how to explain it i i you know we could all
sleep over there's so much energy is oh okay we go out to eat we go to a strip club and then we
have a sleepover yeah that sounds fun to me we have to literally
a popcorn machine a popcorn machine
kalaya's like we have to do it at bobby's house though bobby's coming guys imagine if i did that
you guys are you okay with bobby tagging along on our breakup hang no we shoo bobby away with
dave and todd bobby and dave like went out to eat last weekend by
the way well they went to a party together bailed early bailed before i even got there
and then went out to eat went on a little lover's day i know yeah well they have like a third friend
it's just yeah it's so interesting who was the third friend friend? Gene Hong. This guy that, it's Dave's poker friend who is like works with Bobby.
So they're like in this little friend group.
Wait, you know what I didn't tell you guys?
Last night I had the most grandma ice cream flavor.
Parleens and cream.
You mean pralines?
I mean pralines and cream.
What did I call them?
Parleens.
Parleens.
Is that not so grandma though?
It is very grandma. Pralines andines and why is it grandma explain to me what
did i say parlene parley i thought you were trying to say like maybe marlene i was like
that's a grandma name that's my grandma's name oh it is yeah my grandma's name is marlene yeah
she doesn't prefer my company wait so hang on um so pralines and cream is just an old school
i was moved i was moved to get it
you guys know what i'm talking about right yeah i totally identify that as an old lady flavor but
what even is it it's like a vanilla with caramel and then the nuts the pralines yeah pralines are
covered with like a crusted candy it's like it's. Oh no, I'm an old lady now. Wait, what are other
old lady flavors? Pistachio. Pistachio is an old lady flavor? Coffee reminds me of my grandfather
always had coffee ice cream. That's pretty good old person flavor. He had after eight mints. Do
you guys remember those after eight mints that would like come in like the little sleeves?
Wait, so. The little squares. Just to clarify, pralines and cream is it's ribbons of golden
caramel and sweet nutty praline pecan sw it's ribbons of golden caramel and sweet, nutty
praline pecans swirled into signature vanilla.
Okay.
That sounds delicious.
What does praline mean?
I think that just the way the pecans are.
Okay.
Oh, look.
She's making fun of me for not being able to pronounce the thing.
She doesn't even know what it means.
Oh, it looks like we're both dumb, bitch.
Smooth, sweet substance made by boiling nuts and sugar.
Oh, okay.
It's so good damn wait i've been
missing out on this flavor it was crunch it's delicious where'd you get it ralph's classy
i got it was a haagen-dazs i love a good west side like i i went to venice like last week i
had to go somewhere and i was i love it over there yeah it's great i was like i can't
believe annie lives here it's so good it's good vibes it's good all the time yeah venice is fun
and the homeless people have been there so long i'm sorry the unhome the unhoused not on people
experiencing homelessness yeah they're not uh unarmed but they are unhoused, but so scary, so stabby. But I find them to be more well-versed in being unhoused in my neighborhood
because they've just been there for a long time.
But you know what?
That's what I want to do.
I want to go to First Fridays in Venice.
Every First Friday, they have all the trucks out.
Okay, I didn't even know that.
I knew that.
I've known that for 10 years.
Yeah.
So I want to go first Fridays.
I want to bike on the boardwalk.
Or you can do a scooter or whatever.
Actually, you know what, Esther?
I can get the bike with a little thing in the back and I can take you on a ride.
Actually, yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
So that way you don't have to move your legs.
You could be holding your dog and doing nothing.
Because I can't ride a bike.
So I would like to participate in my own way.
I'll drag you in my little, you know, url.
Okay.
We got to get one of those.
You know how they have them down the shore?
I don't know if you guys know in Jersey where they're like, they have a cover and then it's
like seats of bikes and your whole family can go on them.
That's how we'll teach you to ride a bike.
Oh, with your arms?
No, I'm just being the pedal.
I was like, Annie, that's so much work.
No, that is a lot of work.
But with those shoulders?
I will say I do have-
I feel safe with those shoulders.
I have a little bit of like a fantasy of,
because I used to love rollerblading.
I would love to rollerblade at some point if anyone,
oh, I know that's triggering for your-
It's not triggering.
Okay.
Let's try.
I'm a really crappy rollerblader,
but Jenna is really good.
Yeah.
And she can maybe teach us. Yeah, Jenna, I do associate with rollerblader but jenna is really good yeah and she can maybe
teach us yeah jenna i do associate with rollerblading yeah i need she's very proud of it
to call her but we i would love to rollerblade in venice with i'm gonna i would like to push you
while you're on rollerblades oh i would love that down a hill that's fine you can catch yourself
i feel like you'd be good at it you're very coordinated you're a dancer
thank you yeah you're light on your feet were you good at it when you used to do it
i don't know if good i was just able you were the kid like you never broke your arm at a
roller skating party no i i'm a very fearful careful kind of bullshit on that. I think you are so coordinated. I think that you are a natural athlete.
Me?
She's never gotten positive reinforcement.
She just stops being funny.
And I'm happy for her.
She just ceases to be everything.
Oh, I was talking to Billy Wayne Davis, who's a comedian.
And he was asking me, he's like, if you, he goes, I just would make, I would like to make
like $40 million and then just stop doing comedy.
Would you stop doing comedy if you made a bunch of money?
That has like always been my thing of like, my dad is always being like, you can tap out,
like come move in the basement.
We can live off your savings.
Like that, like we can live a frugal life life so that's definitely always been on my mind but i think
i've evolved out of that thinking lately into like i love what i do and so it's like i always
want to be doing something and it might not be making money or whatever but like the activity of what we do is
like fun so i don't but i used to really have that mentality of like i just want to get in and
get out well the thing is we we weren't making money when we're doing that's true when you make
money it's like less pressure because we're worrying about like bills and shit so the let's
say the the proposition is annie i'm gonna you $40 million today, but you can never do stand up.
I would never take that.
Yeah, I can't imagine.
There's no amount.
I love doing stand up.
Yeah, but I definitely would fantasize about that.
Like I would look at friends who had like a $5 million house and I'd be like, how are they not just selling that house and moving somewhere affordable and just fucking live their lives out but that now i'm
like that's not what i would want no i would want to keep going i mean we know a bunch of like rich
people that are not yeah stopped yeah it's fun it's like cool to connect with people and stuff
like that but you guys are artists i guess so you know that's deeply embedded into like your your
constitution so you are as a human and so
it's like i don't think that you will ever truly be happy and if you weren't allowed to constantly
express yourself in the way that you guys have for so long i feel like with um with stand-up it's
like we did i did it wasn't gonna stop when i was making no money so why would i stop when i am
making money i know i you know i was thinking about this the last week like how we have this show and like we we make money off of it now and i was like people probably don't really understand
that especially like annie and i had been podcasting for free for 10 years to no one
like we have been doing it and stand up every night for like 15 at most so it's almost like okay we started this show
within a year it's like super successful but like we you know the saying like 10 000 hours is like
we have been doing it we do it we do it we did it for free yeah so it's like you know we're here
because we want to be yeah we like right kalilah why are you here you're the same thing
by the way just you were more successful before not the first couple years what do you want to do
now what do you want to do now the first years of tiger belly not a scent was seen okay so you're
there in the beginning bryce was who hit us up and said hey what about george kimmel as you to produce your show and we had nobody
nothing no ads nothing and i was like all right and jenna was like what about gilbert to just
press you know gilbert's from jenna yeah just press play because bobby and i had recorded our
first podcast it was this amazing two-hour one and then i look over and i hadn't pressed record we've all been and i was
like oh fuck like and so i was like we need just a person to press um record um and i was like hey
gilbert do you know how to press record and he was like yeah and then we spent weeks do you want to
have the greatest easiest job with the most amount of money ever hey gilbert do you want to win the
lottery right now but dude what i didn't what i
found out later was that gilbert is such a gem because he is such a savvy business person he
also knows a lot of people he is so well connected he's so talented and funny and he's so just
lovable like everyone loves him right he was so funny on the live show he is so funny yeah he is
like the definition of the kind of guy that like
they really interject like they pick their spots and they just take the house down like he's so
great naturally too like it never feels like he's trying that hard he just is so i lucked out there
um but the first couple years we're we were just doing it just to do it we were like fuck it
um bobby's like you know i'm broke my
career is going nowhere we might as well just do this and so he did yeah he told me to start a
podcast he was like when i was broke i was going to pick up my checks in the comedy store office
and bobby was and i was like oh thank god i got a main room you know i was like living off of these
yeah and um bobby was like are you broke and i was like yeah and he's like started podcast he's like i
didn't have anything going on before my podcast yeah i mean obviously he had stuff going on at
some point but it's like at some point but but hollywood that game where it's like waiting for
the next gig is horrible over horrible yeah that was a really painful like that time for bobby when
i first met him i remember he was like auditioning for an unpaid job to do a sketch with a kid named
hamburger that was when i knew bobby well when he was like taking us out to denny's and stuff and
it's like he was not it was not good right right and so i remember going to probably denny's
afterwards because we weren't into the high-end restaurants in the beginning um because we didn't
have a lot of money yeah and so um but we couldn't say that out loud either we can't say hey like
bobby lee's broke shit you know but we he was right we couldn't afford a bigger home until like
years later um but he was he had auditioned for this unpaid job and i remember him saying i need
to get this i I really need this.
This is going to change my career.
And we always look back at that moment now,
like crying hysterically, laughing.
Because it was just such, we were,
like he felt like he was really in the pits.
And I remember feeling like, I hope you get it, sweetie.
I really hope.
And I'm getting on my hands and knees and saying,
God, like give this one job with
burger to bobby please and while you're down and he didn't get it so it's like yeah podcasting was
like you know it was just a hail mary but also it was just like what the fuck else we gonna do
i know but at that point like i had fully decided i't going to work as a nurse, you know, at all. I was like, fuck that.
I'm not going that route.
If my phone gets disconnected, let me suffer is what I told my mom.
Let me suffer.
I need to suffer so that maybe it will, like, propel me into really, like, moving and feeling some urgency in my life.
That's a real thing.
And that urgency was going to Sam, you know, what do you call that?
Sam Ash?
Oh.
And getting mics and being like,
oh fuck. Yeah, what is it called?
Yeah.
And so that's the,
those were the beginnings.
They were not fun.
There's a lot of things I wanna do in my life.
And I think that I'm finally feeling like ready.
I have been ready for a while.
But you know when like, you don't to talk about it until it's already done.
Right, yeah.
Because you almost suck the juice and the joy out of it if you start telling everybody about things that you haven't, when you can't even see the finish line yet.
So it's like I hold it close to my heart.
These are things that I'm working on.
And when it comes, you know, to fruition, then i'll talk about it when i'm the opposite
please be only fans please only friends only friends all right only fans dreams dead right
what are our only fans dreams are they dead i don't think so yeah well i saw something you
might have liked i was at the beach um on saturday and there was an airplane dragging
a sign of a girl it says onlyfans.com slash and then her oh i love that good girl and me and my
friends were like oh my god that's amazing that's a great fucking move i know all these dads like
with their yes with their kids at the beach just you know they're like wiping the sand off
get the sand off that's great
burying their kids like daddy will be right back fucking cum and sand batter
so you're gonna work out a bunch and we can't call it a revenge body because there's no revenge so
we have to call it a just friends body the divorce diet is not um what's happening to me i've never
been hungrier in my life yeah that's all i
keep wanting to eat so you know when people are like i'm sad i can't eat a morsel that has not
been me at all that's okay good i'm hungry that's hungry maybe you've been you know going through it
enough that it's like you've been starved in many ways kalilahilah, for that cock. I just am not sure I want to see a guy in,
I want to tie him up, just not in that position,
with the arms behind the back to the legs, to the ankles.
It's not a look that I'm into.
Guys, my plane crush.
I know what you're saying.
Your plane crush?
My plane crush, my dead plane guy.
Oh, right, right, right.
Okay, so we stayed friends you know and
when i was single again like i got in a relationship right after that and then when we broke up
he we had stayed friends and so he started to get like a little like oh are we gonna like hook up
again or and he sent me a sex that was so crazy he told me he had one of those beds with um
like bondage hooks on them and i was like stranger danger no thank you and he would send me like porn he'd be like this is
the porn i'm watching and it was always like women and ball gags getting like their pussies whipped
i was like i'm not i would like a regular sex first and then but then i found the sex he sent
me and he ended up blocking me this is why i didn't go to his funeral first is such a good
rule i think i was like let's just do regular let's just see what that if they're like that And he ended up blocking me. This is why I didn't go to his funeral. Regular sex first is such a good rule.
Such a good rule.
I was like, let's just do regular.
Let's just see if they're like that before I'm getting my pussies beaten.
That's an amazing sentence.
Like, you know.
Regular sex first.
I don't know.
I mean, I'll bring the purple, but you don't have to make it black and blue.
Purpler.
Wait, let me find it.
Fuck, where is it?
It's so good. It's just like the craziest that would be such a red flag for me if a guy was without me asking yeah being like here's a porn i'm watching i'm
like but it's just he just was into different things so this was this was the sex that he
okay read it out loud okay this is what he blocked me sorry rip by the way rip nice guy i i would have gone to the
memorial service but i'm respecting his boundary of blocking me oh that's smart yeah that's a good
rule as well and it was like i was going for nosy reasons like i didn't what was i gonna do be like
except that's kind of a cool story to tell i would have gone but you would yeah him blocking you
only made you come on stronger she'd have thrown herself into the fucking casket
you'd be in the ground with him straddling him oh i didn't think this through i mean
one less kiss your dad saves you your dad saves you he does exactly where you are
all right so he goes try to think of me tonight as if we went to a high school reunion i was like
and then i'm like everyone's bald and fat high school reunion i was like oh why and then
i'm like everyone's bald and fat that's what i was thinking everyone's like bald and fat no thanks
he goes i mean high school prom okay now we're underage he goes and then you're all innocent
but then after the prom i take you to this hotel with its own dungeon i'm like okay buddy
a dungeon i'm a kid i'm a child i'm in high school he goes and you're scared because i
miss my parents you're scared but you stay and you let me do whatever i want to you
you don't want to like it i'm like no i don't i know i was just like how off can you be he goes
but miss them you can't stop yourself from coming over and over again especially with the clamps i
have on your nipples i'm like what the hell is squeezing out the nipple cheese how do we get there so fast with the nipple clamps and they goes and then and
the vibrator that is strapped in between your legs that i control with a remote as i do other
things to the rest of your body now i felt i was asleep when he sent this and i woke up this
he sucks at sex wait can i just tell you can i just tell you what i wrote when i woke up at 6
54 a.m i wrote this, this is how JonBenet died.
And he was like, fuck you.
Is he blocked you after that?
He blocked me after that.
And you are, you're just the one.
He blocked me after I posted that.
That is so.
I posted it online immediately.
The JonBenet joke was so good.
It's like, but text to the wrong girl
this you will live forever let me just tell you there are people who are very skilled at sexting
and people who are not will never get there and that is a example of that could never
but never like even get any blood flow in my pussy you have to it has to be a girl that's into that yeah
like a clamp i don't want to clamp on my nipples yeah that he's just it's not a match he he needed
someone very different you gotta try pinching first before you're gonna put a fucking potato
chip clip on my fucking tits he was very unclear about his audience is what it was and i was telling
him too i was like i'm not but he did pass away so we love him r.i.p
nothing but r.i.p quiz no look i do this i do because of what he did to me oh he did that to
you no oh i went like this but he didn't do that either it was very it was cute it was just
innocent we love you quiz no boy we really know really do. Quizno. Quiz yes, I call him.
You guys, thank you so much for listening to this episode this week.
We will see you guys next week for a brand new episode.
Make sure to subscribe and as always, comment because-
Carlos will read them.
I'm done.
Yeah.
But we want to hear from you guys.
We love you.
Come see us live.
See you next week
you