Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - Trash gets Messi FT. Jenna Jiménez

Episode Date: June 30, 2026

BTS, BONUS CONTENT AND MORE! Only on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast     GET IT BEFORE ITS GONE - https://trashtuesday.myshopify.com/ It��s the WORLD CUP baby! Messi, Ochoa, Shakira are all on the table. Jenna made her dad’s World Cup dream come true, Esther is giving a high school reunion tell-all, and we give out Red Cards and Yellow Cards. We’re screaming, we’re crying, we’re yelling, we’re getting Messi.MORE JENNA!https://www.instagram.com/jennajewmenez/?hl=enWann smell like us? https://www.bytiajenna.com/ Thank you to our sponsors:Thank you to BEDUCATED - Beducated has an awesome quiz that will recommend a personalized roadmap to sexual happiness just for you. Right now, click https://beduc.at/pd2627-trash to kick off your personal pleasure journey.  Thank you to HERS -  Visit Https://forhers.com/trashtuesday  to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. *Ebb Ocean Club is NOW IN SEPHORA* https://www.sephora.com/brand/ebb-ocean-clubfor Khalyla’s reef safe and biodegradable hair products!*Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/ MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A   PRODUCTION:Studio Ten42: https://www.instagram.com/studioten42/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Arielle Jade (Editor): https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ Elisa Hernandez Kohler: https://www.instagram.com/ellie.lianna/ Megan Clements:  https://www.instagram.com/egggymeg/   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So I went to my 20th year high school reunion and I realized also that it's Dave's 30 year. And I'm like, Dave, aren't you going to go? And then he looked at me and said, no, I'm not a loser. So I went to mine. Oh, Dave! Oh, hey, I didn't even see you there. If you're human, you stink. So give pit stop a shot.

This is my natural handmade deodorant by Tia Jena, all natural and organic. ingredients get a little bit just enough or you can put it directly to your armpits that's what Kalila likes to for all our trash Tuesday listeners our sluggies get a special discount if you use the code trash that's T r a SH go to buy tiajana.com those looks so bad on you I know a lot of my animals are getting older and I know this season was going to come eventually. Thank you. At least say your Mexican prayer in the microphone.

You don't know Sana, Sona, Sona, Sona, Delano? No. Oh, thank you. What are you white? What are you from Skokie? I told you I have no white friends. Wait, did you say those sunglasses look bad on her? Yeah.

They do, I think. They look bad on you too. You want some other ones? Oh, my God. Yeah, let me try those. Welcome to Trash Tuesday. Welcome to Trash Tuesday. The vibes should be high because, oh, my God, it's a Philippines flag.

We didn't make it to the World Cup, but shout out to our national team. We got Finland in the house. Does Finland even have soccer? Oh, my gosh, yes. Finland in the house. I mean, neighbor Norway, they have the best guy. He is a scary looking motherbucker. I will say that.

Kalila knows everything about everything, and I'm so excited to have her here with us today. No, I don't know anything about soccer. Just the Premier League. Yes, you do. Oh, yeah. But who cares? I know Champions League a little bit. I know some. Why?

I know a little bit of all sports. But my dad was like a big sports guy. Is like she remembers everything. So you can tell her one time like, oh, Memo Cha, the goalie of Mexico. And she's, till the day she da, she's going to remember it. Till the day I die. You know what's so crazy? Esther, it's like painful for her to listen about sports.

Yesterday I was talking to her. Just like, I'm not even giving her statistics, right? I'm just telling her fun, interesting, new, look at her. News about sports, she's laying down, she goes, save it. Just save it. Save it for who? Who are we saving it for? Today.

She also means just save it for anyone else. Yeah. Well, listen, even if you're not a sports person, you can at least agree that there are so many moments within sports that are so, like little tiny stories that are so utterly inspiring. I agree. I cry almost every. every game. I love the final. The thing is that my like culture of sports comes from a gambling addict.

So for me, it's all about like a close game. It's all about like the stress of like the finals going to game seven, right? Like I've had this argument with Dave a hundred times. I'm like, so you're the Celtics fan and they're in the finals. Don't you want a game seven? He's like, no, absolutely not. I want the Celtics to win as soon as possible. But you're literally like giving. yourself less fun by that. So you like to be stressed and anxious and scared. Oh, I shouldn't have given that away so quick. But listen, that's going to happen regardless. The stress and anxiety of the game. You know what she is? She's a network exec. You want the ratings. You want all of the drama. You want it to go as long as possible. Like you want, you're thinking about it in a more like, you know, in a more, like, let's make the most money out of all of this. It's good for the local economy.

She wants to not find out if they're going to renew a season until the day before they could possibly find out. No, no, no. So also, I was just home and I saw a playoff ticket for the Bulls in 1991 that was unused because it was for a game that never happened. So think of the money that that could have, my dad could have scout that for. She's like in the Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift camp of like. What are you talking about?

Throw her in there. Like you're the one who planted Taylor Swift into football. Wait, she was so upset. And then you told her that. And she was like, I'm the master. You're the mastermind. Oh, yeah. I don't know.

Sami na, me, yeah, Waka, waka. Hey, Hey, Sammy na, I do want to talk about this. And I don't know if you're aware,

but the initial, the first World Cup song was a flop. Right? And they were like, come on. The first one was on jelly roll. Oh, my God. You're right.

And it's like. So not the right vibe. I'm sorry. Like, you know, I'm sure he's a wonderful artist, but like, this is the World Cup. Doesn't he like hang out with like the comedy man sphere? All I'm saying is if you got Shakita and she gave us walkout, walk out. And also she put in the years with, you know, BK. And and in it, she names like all of these soccer stars, right?

Messy and all these players, but she does not mention her baby daddy. And I love that because this bitch was just like, I'm a to say all the greats. I'm not going to talk shit about you. I'm just going to say all the greats and you're just not going to be in it. It's crazy how that ended. What I find very interesting in life in general is that you can be with a Gerard Piquet, have two babies. Can you say that again? Gerard. He said that really nicely. Gerard Piquet is that in his name? Yeah, but you said it. What's his ethnicity? Beautifully. Yeah, he's. Espaniol. Why are we such losers? Let me say the Jewish way. Harar.

Yeah, how hard picket. Can you leave your burps at the door? I try. Can you leave your grease at the door? They're belches. They are belches. They're big belches, but brings me relief to hear them out of your body. Yeah, like, I don't fart very much.

It all comes up this way. What is our nightner say? Pick me flex. What? What does Marian our nightner say? What does she say? Better in than out. Better out than in, I mean.

Pick me flex, as if that's cool. Anyone's ever heard me burp and gone, her you're dumb as fuck yeah you don't why you don't know why I said it say it because you literally said I just don't fart a lot I burp a lot yeah but it's so much nastier to fart than it is to burr but that is a fact she doesn't fart a lot when I'm talking to people and it comes out and I have no control over it just just reflex okay okay okay would you not rather burp in front of a guy or fart you'd rather burp I'd rather burp okay but this is This isn't about guys.

Why are we talking about guys? What does this have to do with guys? Do you fart? What? Do you fart? Yeah, she does. Hell yeah. Hell yeah.

Yeah, yesterday she sat down. Hell yeah. Fuck you. Hell yeah. What's wrong with farting and burping? I just didn't know if like, if like. There's nothing wrong with getting ass out of your body. Wait, do not say what you're about to say.

I know what you're going to say. In my head, like the petite girls of the world that Shakitas and the esters, they don't fart. Do you fart? That's why they're so petite. because they're farting. They're getting all that air out of them. Do you fart? I do. And I just very recently started farting in front of the very first partner I've ever farted in front of is Aloha. Wait, what? Do you fart in front of the Bobby Lee? I never did. I never, I never farted because he made, he farted for everyone in the house. Like,

there was enough fart going on that I was just like, I can't add to this gas chamber. Also, I think that once you made up your mind about how you were going to be in a relationship in terms of farting, It's almost like you can't get out of it. You can't get out of it. And here's a thing. It was a gradual, we got there gradually. It was initially I was like, I'm not going to show him my new weird tits. And then it was inevitable that he was going to see me just naked like plopped with like my pussy out of my pubes like breastfeeding.

After that I was like, it's, I think fart is, yeah, what's left? The only thing I'm hidden from a man is a fart. So let's give him that. There's no dignity. There's no dignity to laugh. We're not even going to talk. They're not even going to talk about this double standard. But I wanted to get back to the Girard Piquet of it all.

The Girard Piquet of it all is that, look at them, it's like they had, okay, even if we take the public part of the relationship out, let's say there were two people with two kids who've been together for so long. They're so utterly good looking together. Is Shakira a Disney adult? Oh. What is going on? And then poof, we no longer speak, we hate each other. Like, this is the part of life that makes it feel. weird where it's like how that's true that they hate yeah she made a whole song about the mother-in-law

it was so messy up front you guys at least it wasn't ronaldini he had a 23-year-old girlfriend he posted her very soon after they broke up why do i know all of this but you know what chakita has not talked shit about him directly and in interviews when they specifically ask her about him not that she needs to take the fucking high road because he took the low road already she just continuously says like i'm very grateful that he made me a mother even though it's like you can be mother without him. I'm very grateful that I have kids from him. That's the father of her children.

That's the thing. Like, how do you not speak? Like, you have to co-parent. It's so sad. And it's like, when it ends so badly, I'm in my head, I'm always like, guys, come on. Like, really? Like, we couldn't come together. I want to hate you.

What do you mean we couldn't come together? Wait, I want to hit you. Oh, like, as a man, Bobby? Yes, you just like did what I feel. I don't feel it anymore. Yeah, but she doesn't talk shit about Bobby and then never speak to. him again. No, but just like why can't like the just landing at the end point of like come on guys. I know your goal was like just come on. No, there are definitely points after our breakup.

We were just like those were our problems. Like we're good. I wonder if you know so much about them. Did this happen while you and Bobby were having your breakup? Like was it like helpful for you to was it like any time I saw our relationship like a public relationship end really badly. It made me very proud of Bobby and I. Yeah, it should. Because it's like, even though everyone had their opinions about how that ended and we are no Shakira and Piquet. People had a lot of opinions about you and Bobby. Am I the Shakita of comedy? I mean, yeah. No, I'm not that beloved. I can't just come out with a World Cup song and make everything better. No, even without the breakup, you are. I feel like. You are. It's okay. It's okay. But she does fart. She does fart. Everyone should fart.

Yes, Esther farts. It's like, oh my gosh. Get over it. I feel. livid when this is even because women constantly feel don't me women you wouldn't even get a tooth gem because your husband said you couldn't yeah well what am I going to do

fucking handmade of Dave of David like you're of Esther yeah of Donan you're of donut people are even speaking about women's body hair I'm just so sick of it and people talking about like oh the bush is back I'm like, when did it leave?

And this makes me sad. And this makes me sad because I have no bush to grow. Oh, my God. I'm done with both of you. I don't fart. I don't have hair. No, it is sad. Yeah.

It is sad. And it's not even that the bush is gone. It's like the bush is gone up top, but it's not gone on the side. It is sad. So it's like, if I wear a bikini, you would look at it and be like, oh, she's got a big old bush under there just based on the side bush. But like, okay, Jenna, I hear what you're saying. And I agree with you.

But then I'm also like, well, I can't just go to the beach and have. Yes, you can. I do it all the time, and I will say you might feel self-conscious, but that's the start of it. I've gone with R and his, like, soccer buddies to the beach, and I'm like, my bathing suit is high like this because that's how I like it. And there's bush coming out? And there's bush coming out all of the sides. And I do feel self-conscious. I will give you that. Okay. Like, self-aware that it's there. But I'm like, am I now supposed to change the shape of my pubs to go like this to match? I swim in shorts. More shorts forever, baby. Because my shit, you know it, the hair comes to the side. But it's like supposed to. Oh, I know. With certain things, it's like we're not going to be earth mothers about everything. Everywhere.

We just, we want to be accepted in society, in the community. Okay, but we're going to be outcast. We decide what is accepted. I bet those guys went home to their wives and they're like, oh my God, one of my colleagues' wives has their bush out. But my man's still with me. And let me tell you. the girlfriends who were with him. And if one of them was jerking off in the porta potty because he saw your pews?

Good. Make that shit sexy. It's sexy. If I have to see a man's, the fact that they even call it a happy trail, it's your fucking dick hair coming up out of your pants onto your stomach. And that's called a happy trail because it's on men. Goodbye. Women have that too. Yeah.

And no one wants to see it. Well, I don't mind showing that one. They just call it like pussy hair, stomach hair. You don't have it. Wait, pussy hair. Pousay? Sorry, we haven't. It gets me really heated.

What are our favorite stories from the World Cup? I'll start. I'm going to start. No one's going to even ask me about my high school reunion. I will. I will. All about the World Cup. I won't.

Continue. My favorite story is I think everyone is very familiar with now. And it's a very simple story. It's about a man. It's the Cape Verde goalkeeper. Yeah. And here's a man. He's 40 years old.

He's at the end of his career. He was almost replaced by a year. younger guy to come in there and play in the World Cup. They go against Spain. I don't know if you know, Spain is probably set to win most World Cups. Oh, okay. He went crazy and basically forced a tie, which is zero, zero, which is unheard of if you're playing a big giant like Spain.

And within, I think overnight, he went from like 500 followers to 13 million. And then they flew his mother in. To see him play. He was like, I wish my mom was here, but, you know, visa wouldn't allow it. And then they fast tracked it because you can fast track citizenship in visas. And his mom was able to watch or be there with him. And it was just like, these are the types of stories that I watched a World Cup for. Like, I don't even really care about who wins who.

I like these stories. What are things that we could do to get 13 million followers overnight? Okay, here we go. I'm going to kick a ball. Okay. And you're going to see how many times you can save it. Let's start with what does saving it mean? Saving it is you're a goalkeeper.

You're not going to let it hit the net. Okay. So you're going to use your little perfect dancer body to just block. And you're going to pretend your kids are behind you and you can't let the ball hit that. And because he's 40, this is like a big. Because it's his last one. It's his last chance. This is bullshit that 40 is so young.

I hate this. I'm about to become a professional dancer at 40. Insane. I mean, Memo Ochoa, I think is also 40, maybe 41. He just played. his six world cup goalkeeping in Mexico. That's also like another story that I'm just like, they brought him out to play.

They wheeled him out in his wheelchair at the old, disgusting age of 40. I'm just going to say, I love that the United States is finally caring about soccer. Do you need to be tall to be good at soccer? No. Listen, you've stated that you think Bernie might be good at soccer. I think my son is going to be a soccer. There's some really short players.

A messy is short. How tall? Five seven. I don't know if we're going to get that. I think you're going to get there. There's like some five two players who are really good because there's center of gravity. You're just not going to be. You're not going to be a defender and you're not likely not going to be a goalkeeper, but you can be everything else.

I was a center mid and I'm five two. I don't care about anything about you. I'm done with you. We're done. You care about this pussy? We can't just laugh at that because it is just like she said that yesterday and it made me laugh. And then I kept saying it over and over again and say what you said. I don't remember what I said.

You said you don't understand how I'm a comedian because I'm the least funny person that you've ever hung out with. Since I've known her, since we're 18, it's like nothing that she says is funny in real life. I don't like you for your jokes. I don't have jokes. I don't like you for your millions. Pusset. And but somehow on stage, I believe that she is like, one of the funniest comedians I have seen.

In real life, the stuff that she laughs at is unfunny. Really? Yes, I was sitting on the couch and I just said, like, yeah, my pussy. I can't, you can't pay me laugh at things that are not funny, so it's like, it's hard for me. Don't you think it's funny? I like it's like a little earworm, like pussy. But I don't even say it not like musically. It's just she was laughing about it all night.

And then she'll repeat it and it like becomes her stem of like a funny thing except she tries to make other people laugh and no one thinks it's. And then she gets on stage and you're like, bitch, you good. You funny. Before she ever started standup, I remember I was just like, I don't know if she's going to be good. I believed in her. Yeah. But I was just like probably not funny. All my exes agree with you.

Well, your exes are not funny. Well, let's hard to Sorry Sorry We only apologize to each other Not to her It's because we're scared of each other Like we know that if any

We can like She claims she's scared of me Oh no, I'm sorry I'm going to need you to back me up You When you decide like it's nasty time Scary, scary little one It's nasty time

Oh my God. Women in soccer. Next year is the women's World Cup. The more I think about it, it's like, wouldn't women's sports be better than men's sports because you get to look at women's bodies? Okay. And what I'm going to say is a little male gazee. I have a son.

What I will say is that watching women play soccer is wild because you know how the men have worked into soccer culture? where like you tap their elbow and they go down. And basketball too. However, watch the women. They're not going down. They're not taking time away from playing.

They're getting back up. They're being injured and they're playing. You know, I don't consider myself a misogynist until you start talking. You are so, it's like you just make me want to be a man. You make me want to go down to the brosphere. And I want to go be with Joe Rogan and talk about, fishing and I don't know what he talks about.

So I just want to let her keep talking because it's like what, what comes after this and do what? And say what? No, I don't want to give you the satisfaction. No, no, carry on. It makes you want to, uh-huh. No, no, I take it back. I'm sorry. I'm a girl.

I think you're right about women's sports and that, like, the biggest testament to this is like of all the testosterone, broie sports. Like the UFC is a perfect example of how they just. just one season, they're like, you know, we're going to do the Ultimate Fighter Show, but we're going to do women. Not only are women fights just as entertaining, there I say, some of the goriest, bloodiest that I've ever seen. You dare say it. And I'm like in all.

Oh, don't roll your eyes. Well, it's like, I'm not, that's scary. It is scary. It is like fully scary. But it does make me kind of, there's a part of it I love where it's like, men are now like, Oh shit. That's like that's a fight. Oh, women can fuck around. Yeah, exactly. I think basketball also is getting more respect.

Women's basketball. Yeah, I guess. Basketball's really, really happening out. Because there's like female stars now, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I live for their bus to walk in outfits. Wait, why? What do they wear? Oh my God, just like a fashion show now. Because men are too scared to show fashion.

They look stunning. Stunnen. Stunin. Of course, none of it would look good on me because I'm not tall and athletic. The camera wouldn't even. Yes, it would. It wouldn't reach her. We think she's entered the building.

We can't find her. Or they would just show Esther and it's everyone's shins and kneecabs. By the way, with the same fucking height. Yeah, but I'm not talking about being there. Wasn't nobody's talking about being there. I'm ready for the hard pivot

into what I think is a very important topic. Your World Cup, your high school reunion. I didn't want to talk about it. Okay, I'm going to sleep then. Make me up when she's done. I don't want to talk about it anymore. But let's eat a banana for this. You guys, I love cash app.

It is so easy to use. Sometimes some of us can fall for certain scams. Like, you know what scam I definitely fall for? If someone was like, hey, I need money or donations for this injured animal, I'm there. So fast. Take my money blindly, right? Like, that's what I would be scammed for. Thank God for cash app, though.

Cash app has a built-in security that keeps your money safe plus the protections you expect. When you get the cash-up card, not only do you get access to a ton of perks and benefits. like exclusive early access to nationwide concert pre-sales or discounts on popular brands, but you also have extra security with a power to instantly lock or unlock your card right from your phone in just one tap. So if a suspicious transaction pops up on your card, cash app has your back by automatically declining the purchase and sending you a heads-up to confirm if it's you or not. Behind the scenes, you can rest assured knowing your account balance is protected by 24-7 fraud monitoring. Spend with peace of mind today and order a cash-app card

in the app or at cache. dot app slash card. New cash up customers can earn $10 if they use code secure 10 in their profile at sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash app is a financial services platform not a bank, banking services provided by

Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC, Cash App, Visa Debit Flex cards issued by Sutton Bank member FDIC and a Bank Pursuant to a license from Visa USA, Inc. and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card, Sutton Debit Flex card, and Bank Corp Debit Flex card, discounts and promotions provided by Cash app, a Block Inc brand.

Visit cash.app slash legal slash podcast for full disclosures. If you've tried everything to lose weight and still feel stuck, this summer can be different. Weight loss by hers is designed to support you in reaching your goals with access to an affordable range of FDA-approved GLP-1 medications, including the Wegovi pill and the Wegovi pen. With Wegovi at Hears, lose up to 20% of your body weight when combined with diet and exercise. It helps you regulate your appetite, eat less, and keep weight off. Plus, Wegovi is the first ever GLP1 pill for weight loss, so there are no needles needed. Everything is 100% online through Hears.

You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door, no insurance necessary. Ready to reach your goals, visit forehors.com slash Trash Tuesday to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash Trash Tuesday. ForHERS.com slash Tuesday. Weight Loss by Hair is not available in all 50 states. We go via the registered trademark of Novo Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, we go to the clinical study information and restrictions, visit forhers.com. If there's one thing people assume should just come naturally, it's sex.

But honestly, like anything else, it's something you can learn and get better at. That's what I think is so cool about Beducated. It's basically the sex ed we all wish we'd gotten. with expert-led courses that cover everything from communication, intimacy, techniques, pleasure, massage, and even more adventurous topics. Every time I hop on Beducated, I end up learning something I didn't know before. One thing that really surprised me was just how much better intimacy can be when you focus on communication and slowing things down, instead of thinking it's all about performance. There are practical video lessons, exercises you can do alone or with a partner, and the whole platform is really inclusive and welcoming. No matter your relationship status, orientation or experience level, whether you're looking to just spice things up,

build confidence, or just understand your body or your partner a little bit better. There's honestly something for everyone. Beducated has an awesome quiz that will recommend a personalized roadmap to sexual happiness just for you. Right now, click the link in the show notes and go to beducated.com to kick off your personal pleasure journey. In honor of the World Cup, we're doing a hydration break. Oh! We got some banana water.

What? Oh, this is really scary. Oh my God, it smells so strong. Wait, can I see that bad? I know you don't like banana flavored things. It literally smells like dried bananas. Oh, my God, it's so gross. It's so gross.

It's so gross. Oh, my God. It's really not great. No way. You need to see the can. Guys, guys, banana juice is not good. It's not banana juice. It's banana water.

No, guys. We shouldn't be milking bananas this way. It's literally just banana. I don't like it. Well, we were hoping to give them a shout out, but we'll just edit around. Okay, we will not. This is a non-sponsored. hydration break. It really does taste like dried like old bananas though. The smell literally makes

me gag like I could puke. Well, I'm not going to eat my banana since I've learned that every time I eat the banana, someone says something interesting and then I have to pop off with bananas in my mouth. Why? Just let them be. Let them eat it. Eat it. The way you just said that. Can we? No. Zoom into her eyes when she just said that. Evil. Fills. She said, eat it I'll do it to you eat it that's what she did

psychopath psycho you know there's no one that I feel genuinely loves me but also like maybe you do fear me I feel so much love from you

no one loves you no like Kalila loves me but she's like knows too much like I don't know I can't figure out what it is between us

I think I love you for exactly who you are. Yeah. And here's a thing. Who you are in my book is not, it's just, she didn't say it's good. I really think you are so fucking peculiar. I put you in the Bobby category of like, I can't crack who you are necessarily.

I am so utterly endlessly entertained by who you are. I know that on a fundamental level, you are a good friend. But we, in terms of like everything else, we are couldn't be, we're on opposite ends of everything. I have always had this thought that like the perfect friend for me is someone that has dated a stand-up comedian for 10 years. Because it's like you've been through it. Yeah. Like you, I can't, there's nothing I can throw at you. No. To surprise you. Nothing. You are fully trained. Yeah, to be. And armored. Nothing. I can't think of a single thing you can do that would shock me. Yeah. Amen. Amen. Sister. Well, okay, I will talk about my reunion because it's sort of, there's like a

female friendship discovery. Wait. You didn't. already talk about it. I trust me, I don't even want to talk about it today because we've already turned the audience against me by being anti-female. Can we talk about your friendship with me and how I view you? Yeah. Everything to class said. But you guys are more enmeshed in many ways.

Like I'm a hard, in many ways like a harder not to crack because I do offer closeness, but I still am very guarded in a lot of ways. Yeah, you are, which I actually love. You know yourself and I love that though. Yeah, but just you know if you guys need anything. ever and it's like I feel like I'm close to you you are close to me and I know that like we had times where we were more in each other's lives like technically and I would say that we're not we don't have an emmeshment you guys are you literally dumb as fuck we don't no you guys are like

scissoring everywhere no no no wait Esther what do you view your attachment at the pussy wait wait Esther please please describe our friendship what's said because I would say that I'm your closest friend. You are, but enmeshed to me is like unhealthy, like, oh yeah, no, no, no, I don't mean it in a negative way. I need you, where are you? No, that's codependence.

She's talking about like a life where you're like, you're like, you're like, you're right, enmesh could be bad. Inmesh, about this one I meant. I meant like you're really intertwined. Like you're very connected. Yeah, and your life is like, yeah, every day there's a conversation between you guys. There is, you know, unannounced visits.

Like, that to me is like really sweet. I meant it in a very sweet. I thought you did too. What I'm projecting is that I have learned that that kind of ammishment that I'm thinking of is like bad. That's not friendship like what she's talking about. She's talking about like a friendship that's really involved in your life. Like every day like you're in each other's like living room like not speaking to each other

doing your own thing. Like that to me is like true friendship and closeness is when you don't feel like you ever have to host Jenna. She can just pop up and she can exist in your. your home. Well, I feel like no one has a choice. That's kind of just how I am. Yeah. But I think that's beautiful. People really have a choice with me because I don't have the energy like I did before to be like, so how are you? That's my favorite kind of friendship. It's like we're in so deep that you can come over for whatever reason. Like, you come over to my house

and you are in your wing and I'm like, I'm going to leave by. I love a wing. Yeah. Trump doesn't. And I think that's really sweet, you guys. And, but. Listen, as guarded as I am, as sometimes I place like a very healthy distance with people, if you ever need me, I don't care what it's what it's for. Like I am your girl. I will always find a solution. I need you to sleep over tonight. For who? For you or for, if it's for your babies, yes. If it's just a cuddle, you know. Yeah, Kalila is that bitch. I will be your wet nurse. If you're like, hey, my shit's dried up. Wait, tits will be there. Give some to me. Yeah, do you really want breast milk? Always. I think hers is more nutritious than mine right now. Mine's basically like powder. Get your frisk away from me. I've had five of my friends breast milk.

You would seriously drink our breast milk. I just, did you not hear what I just said? I just can't believe that. So how can you ask that question? It's so nasty to me. Listen, I need to hear about this high school reunion. Okay. Oh yeah, tell me.

So I went to my 20th year high school reunion. Can you speak up? And I realized also that it's Dave's 30 year. And I'm like, Dave, aren't you going to go? and then he looked at me and said, no, I'm not a loser. So I went to mine. Oh, day! Which, by the way, you have a-

I love him so much. As you brought up, you were the same age. We graduated the same year. You have a 20-year reunion this year. Do you know anything about it? I do get emails about the people who are putting it together and they're really doing such a great job that I am not doing. Also, by the way, if your class president does not mean that you have that title into adulthood.

Until you die. Like, that's crazy. I guess it's one of the things you signed on to. But you know what I did? I made it more affordable for people to go to prom. We fundraised. I got everyone hoodies and t-shirts with whatever name they wanted in the back. Like, I did my job there when it was important.

Peaked in high school. Why aren't you political now? You should be a senator. Seriously. I don't have the energy. Yeah, politicians, never die, baby. They fucking aid, they stay till 102 fucking cockroaches.

I never peaked yet. I never peaked yet. I didn't peak yet. And I don't know that I'll ever peak. But what I was going to say is... If you put that banana in your mouth, I'll peek. It's so crazy that you can say that, but I can't say I was having sex.

I'm opening up to it. But you don't just say, was having the sex you're like I was grinding on why do your face do that it's like no can I talk about my reunion which by the way I went to my reunion sorry hello two people from your kindergarten oh whoa really I'll say about my high school reunion it's not that I don't want to see everyone there and see how they're doing that would be cool and I would love that I don't want anyone to ask me how I'm doing and see how I'm doing I would just prefer not and everyone like I'm an a group chat with eight of my best friends from high school who talk every single day. Those are,

I already know what they're doing it. I've heard this. Look, everybody, everyone has every excuse. What did you go there for? Bro, honestly. I'll tell you, I went for memories. I went to relive youth, but what I got was even better. Okay, first of all, I want to start by saying, think about, it was only 50 people out of a class of like over 500. So it's a very, and it's a self-selective group of like people who can handle it. Wait, you had a graduating class of 500. This is only invite. The invitation was only to 50 people.

No, that's only who showed up. Oh, interesting. Like, you can go if you want to. If you think about it, like the group of people that show up are going to be like emotionally regulated, like decent place in their life. Because it's like people who are kind of crazy aren't going to go. Really? You went.

I know. I'm different. I'm not like the others. My favorite thing is that one. guy that from my high school who I haven't seen since high school he literally said he told his girlfriend on the way there his only goal of the night was to not give Esther content he's like well you failed where's the do you have content from it this is the content oh okay sorry keep going I thought there was you know what no I don't want to talk about it

any Esther no I don't want to talk about it I see I'm ready I'm ready I think the thing that is most that I think you will find interesting. Two of the girls who showed up were kind of like from the cool click and I was friends with them, whatever, in middle school. And at the end of the night, I said to one of these girls, I was like, did you know that like I really looked up to you guys and like thought you were so cool and like couldn't even believe you were hanging out with me? And she looked at me and was like, what? She's like, that's really weird. She's like, Esther, we were all friends. And I just sort of had this like mind-blowing moment of like looking back at all the times I was like leaving their house excited or like on my way there like can't believe they call them. And I'm just like, what's wrong with me?

Like these people that the whole time viewed me as an equal to them and as their friend like I was like I can't believe. It's like pathetic. But I think a lot of high schoolers and teenagers do that. They want to be liked. They want to be invited. And so they feel like, wow, I'm so lucky to have gotten. and the only thing that I want to happen. Well, I just feel now I'm like,

does that translate to my adult relationships? And is that why you keep me at a distance? And why I like... It's circled back. And why I like being at a distance. From a distance. Like, oh, because you, and this circles back to the beginning

because you like that excitement of will she choose me, will she not? And you, though, don't apply to this because I don't look up to you and you're... Yeah, yeah, no, I'm different. No, I think that it's probably just a case. of high school, young, angsty, who am I, who loves me, who doesn't like me, emotions. I don't think it necessarily has to circle back into like a theme of adulthood because I have,

I know you to be a very boundaryed person. And when you think someone is a fucking loser, and you're like, no, I do not want to be associated with that person, even if they are famous and shiny. I do know that about you. So like, I think that you have changed a lot since that insecure. But that's like, that's so normal to be high school and be like, me? You've invited me to your home? Like, I felt, that's a very relatable feeling. Do you feel that?

Oh my God. Yes. When I first came to, when I was first in the States, I was very lost. It was very much a culture shock. And I didn't know where I belong, who, how I could belong. The Filipinos in my school were like, she has a very thick accents or consonants are all. The Mexicans took you in. The Mexicans took me in.

But there was this one girl, this one gorge. girl. I knew that if she would be my friend, that no one would fuck with me anymore. Her name was Topacio. And she had, she was a boxer. And her hair was half blonde and half black. And she was just ripped and athletic and hot. A boxer in high school? Yeah. She was just a freaking cool girl, but she also kind of rolled solo. She was one of those girls that just walked around with so much confidence and like and her and I like I remember it was like my sister had already graduated so I was alone and I felt so utterly alone I had a bad reputation in high school for sucking dick apparently and I was like who's dick have I suck Gary Gonzalez's dick and it turned into I sucked

everyone's dick I was so ridiculed and like bullied and scared oh we get it we get it if a guy does it no do we get it I don't think so but I was very like scared and like my mantle started to spiral. I remember a distinct moment where we were both ditching class. And she ditched and I ditched. We both had a salad together. And we just clicked. And from that moment on, not only could I not believe that this freaking cool-ass girl, Tapacio was like now my friend, she probably didn't know that I was like in awe of her. And even to this day, like, we've kept in touch here and there, like over the years, you know, even to this day, I'll always view her as like, oh my god you were just like just eternally fucking cool bitch that's actually how i used to feel about

you honestly i i'm just being genuine i never had that in high school i don't know if it's my neurodivergence or what i didn't ever feel like i wanted people to like me i do feel that you are that person you are that tapasio for others like because i feel like even in college like i told you like when I would see you on the quad, I'd be like, who is this freak? Like, I want it. Oh, yeah. Like, I thought you were so cool. But then I did get to know you and I was like, she ain't shit. No. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like people. And I'm not trying to like be cool or be like, oh, I was the shit. I was just so busy doing me. Yeah, that's so key. Roller blade, which is why I didn't date for so long. Busy doing me is like the secret to life. Because the angst that comes along.

with like just the insecurity of it all of just growing up from a tween to high school let me tell you i will never forget so this is maybe like 20 years ago i was in the car with my dad and i'm like damn my dad is so old i'm like what is like the best time of your life and i'm in my head i'm like preparing for he's going to say like high school you know and i remember he shocked me he's like elementary school and i'm like what about high school that's like where it's like no because your dad still remembers I know. He's like, no, because once you get to high school, it's about girls and relationships and all this stuff. But when you're just a kid, it's all just about friendship and playing. He's like, that's the best. And I almost feel like I had like an experience of that at the reunion where

no one, none of my close friends from high school were there because I didn't really have close friends in high school. All those meaningful relationships and connections were elementary school, middle school because for me once I started high school it's almost like a mirror of my 20s where I just focused on like theater and dance and like all the extracurriculars and I was like well the fun will come from those relationships and I never just like had fun with friends like throwing water balloons and like I don't know just doing like fun kid stuff dude that's what it is I was playing for a long time you I feel like had that longer for a really long time I played I played a long time too like physical physical um but like only on

Sundays because I was, you know. Up until college, I was still like going to choir and dance and playing with my friends. Like the fact that I couldn't think about dating wasn't that I didn't think it was cool. It's that I didn't think about it. Because I was like, I'm going to choir and I'm hanging out with my friends who I literally love. Your love was filled. And we're having fun and we're playing all the time. I don't have time to do whatever this other thing is. But see, I'm almost arguing an opposite of you for me, which is that like when I did choir and theater, I was like so in those worlds. I was like, it's all about getting a part in the play and it's all about like learning the lines. But it's because you had a gap in between those years. Mine continued from the time I was

a child. Once I experienced the gap, everything changed. And I will say I think a big part of it had to do with like dating. Yeah, it's dating. Suddenly having someone who you do want to like you, not choose you. Like up until then I was like, I don't really care who likes me, who doesn't. And then you have these experiences that for me happened really, really late where I was like, suddenly did that. I had never looked at myself before, which was problematic as well because I was just so

obnoxious and so disruptive and didn't realize it. What's coming up for you? Because I realized, like, you, was this all robbed from you? Yeah. You came from a different country. You were molested. Like, what's up? But you had play when you were younger. Yes. I had, I had a lot of play on Sundays. Anything in between was, like, structured. With the Lord. That's the thing about like dance that you guys explain, which is like, it does become your whole world because you're not given the option of other worlds like I was not given the option at by the time I was eight years old I woke up at 4.30 in the morning was in the water by five o'clock swam until seven went to elementary school after that land training and then swim until 730 did homework started all again the next day I was doing two

a days by the time I was eight I was also in the Philippine team by the time I was 10 I was in the national team by the time I was 10 so everything was just so like rigorous and structured and I had I remember specifically thinking I cannot wait until I'm 18 have autonomy because I just wanted to nap all I wanted my my biggest dream in life was just to sleep and nap and this is truly why I think I became like a bedrother because I'm like I never I don't this feeling I can savor this is huge and really really speaks to how you were backwards in a way that like I was backwards like you had to be an adult early on had to care about if people liked you early on because you were going to a new place and you were like in a militant sport. Militant. Militant sports world. I think that that's what it is,

but I think that what happens when you are, this is no shade to any athletes out there. This is just my own personal experience. When you are this deep into sports, you actually are delayed. Socially, you're delayed in because you become, you are so used. A rest of development right there. It's a rest of development. Because you are so used to someone telling you what to do. You don't make decisions for yourself fucking ever. Like I didn't make a decision for myself. And I'm kind of similar to you where I actually had to catch up and learn how to be an adult in many ways.

Because everything was done for me because my only, the only expectation was that I swam fast and that I walked a very straight line. Everything else was like I didn't, I didn't even do chores. How did this even happen? Like, why was it swimming? What? Why did your, did your mom choose that? Did you like it? Did you show that you were good?

Was it your sister too? Like, how did this even happen to you? My mom came from a very, very impoverished family with no access to sports, but a stacked yolk body. And her whole thing was, her whole thing was, I wish I had the means to become an athlete. Like, I never did. I'm now a mom, but my kids will. And then my dad introduced swimming very early because my dad was a diver and an ocean person.

And we just got good and got good fast. and she was like, this is what I'm going to like just keyed in on it and never let go. Did you ever like it? No. Really? I love it now because it allows me to do, it's given me the skill to dive and do other things. But when I was in there, all I felt was terror and the heavy breath of expectation from my parents and everyone else around me and the fatigue of it all. There was moments where I had time with friends, like, during, like, we would travel to, like, a different island and do this thing.

There was like, I like the boy. I remember those memories. But being in the water every single day, no. I love it now because I've, in therapy, I've learned to reframe my relationship with the water. It's why I don't like swimming pools. You've never seen me in a fucking swimming pool because of this. I do not like chlorine. I do not like the memories of being in there.

looking at that black line. Is there any like era or time of your life that you can relate to at all where it was like just about fun and joy as a kid? Yeah. No. No. When did you start swimming? Six.

My first competition was at six. At six you were in a competition? Yeah. That's like literally Jean-Beney Ramsey. Yeah. Competition I was six and it never, it never stopped from there. I should say that like I said, I kept saying Sunday, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday was my only free day.

and I would go ham. Like I run around the neighborhood, like just do as much as I could as a kid. The other day I told Aloha, I don't remember a time where I felt like, and I've talked about this in therapy, like, I never felt genuinely like safe, not in my sleep, not in around my parents, not. It was just so rigorous all the time. It was just so fucking exhausting. Like you were always like, got to go do something.

Always, always. I was also like the top of my class. right. I was class president all throughout elementary. I was the top of my class. I was just this like golden child. And I felt horrible on the inside. And also this like pressure to perform that was so linked to like your worth. Yeah. And so not but but now I I'm obviously now that I have a son, everything is about free play. Like everyone I know is like Montessori, play structure. I'm just like, kid, you go be a kid.

Like you want to scream. You want to go have fun. You want to be silly. Be silly. Do you guys think that, like hearing this from all you guys, do you think that maybe like the extra curricular activity and filling your whole adolescence with that maybe isn't like the best thing to do? I think, I think that I see it now when it's like, especially with like baseball where it's like, let the kid fucking breathe. I obviously can never tell that to. a parent because it's like we're saying you don't think extracurricular i think it's there people are

gone overboard well it seems like you guys have all like missed out on a chunk of just being a kid because yeah i feel both because at the same time those activities kept me out of trouble those activities like gave me creative outlets like oh yeah i needed those helped me find help me find work that like i love like i definitely am not against those things but i do think that I get out of control with it. Yeah. Yeah. Especially when it's like the kid shows interest in one thing and then they're like, well, that's your whole life now. My extracurriculars were fortunately or unfortunately, like, not very focused. And I think that I feel like I'm really good at a lot of things, but not great at anything. It was like whatever she shows interest in, she can just do that. There was the only rule around anything was that if I started a class, I had to,

to finish it. But if I decided after a couple of weeks, I really don't like this ballet class. My mom was like, fine. You're done. When I decided I didn't like acting, she was like, that's fine. Go around to all of your agents. Let them know you're taking a break. And I took a break, starting at like 14 until I moved here because I was like, I'd rather hang out with my friends. And she was like, do it. That's totally fine. I do feel like that's a difference between you and I. It's like I was like at my dance studio, 20 out, 15 hours a week, whatever it was. It was like I never. Your life and your identity.

I think both are cool. I think both are cool depending. I think that as long as you don't verge on like robbing a kid off of their like teenage experience, like their childhood. I think it's fine. I think it all comes down to balance too, right? Like clearly Kalila's version is like the unbalanced. Like she had to work too hard. I definitely remember all the friends hanging out and it's like, oh, my mom's coming to get me because I have to go to dance class.

Like this sucks. But it's like I also do think that's good because I like had to leave. I don't know. It's like I don't know the answer. You had to leave to focus on something that you were putting your effort toward. For me, like I learned discipline at choir. Like I didn't learn discipline in other places. Like there was a lot of trust in my home and a lot of freedom.

I don't think you've learned discipline. You need to be spanked. In high school, I was those meaty legs. In high spanking. I was just in in school suspension a lot, but it was, I didn't ever, I didn't get home and go like, oh no, I have to tell my mom that I got in school again. I haven't heard of that. I haven't heard of that. In the long.

Like if I wanted to skip school, I would call my mom and tell her like, hey. Okay, this is boring. I don't care. school today just so you know in case they called like ever there was a lot of open honesty so meanwhile I was like plucking my braces out of my lips because my mom just punched me in the face

wait I'm like oh no yeah well look at you bitch you're soaring and look at me I'm sitting here yeah but you know what that's that's all a facade milady um I think that um I have white knuckled my way to a pretty nice life but I do think I would have gotten here in a much easier way had it not been for all my emotional setbacks as an adult.

I wonder. Yeah, I do wonder that because I think it's like, maybe you would just be bed rotting somewhere. Maybe I'd be just less sweaty, less like distant trimester, less, you know, more wavy to my neighbor. Like there's certain things that I know that I, as an adult, like I don't cope well still with some situations where I can feel it in my body. Like my heart races.

I feel like vomiting. And I'm like, what is this? An example of a situation that causes that? One person texting me. And it's like, I know that's a tough conversation I need to have. And already my whole body is lit up. I'm like, why do? And that's when I'm like, okay, this I wish I didn't feel.

That sounds kind of normal to me, though. Like if a tough conversation pops up, it's like, yeah, I'm not going to feel good. Yeah. How quickly are you, like, from a bad situation? How quickly do you release it from your body? Like, okay, if you and I, like, fight, how many? hours, days till you're like, you know what, that was a fight, like, four days? Are you sleeping well that night? That's really hard to answer because it's so

depends on like a million factors. But I think what you're saying is that it doesn't necessarily depend on the factors, any situation like that. You're still going to feel it in your nervous system. Much better now, though, because I've done EMDR and all these things. But yeah, I'm very like disregulated. And it's something, it's a facade because when people like meet me, They're like, you're so calm and like, you know, you have this like energy about you. And I'm like, it's a lie. I have learned to mask a lot of how I'm truly feeling, which is. I have learned that about you.

Yeah. Like you really come off so cool as a cucumber. Yeah. And then it's like to learn that you're not feeling that is really surprising. Yeah. Because your exterior is so pleasant and peaceful and soothing. Yeah. And that's not how I feel.

I don't feel soothe. I remember that like when when we. first began our friendship and like I would go everywhere with Kalila because she was having a panic attack every every day every day and hard episodes we get into a place and she's boom boom bam bam speak thinking clearly and it's like I can't even think and she's and people are just like oh my god Kalila is just the social butterfly and I'm like she's everything's sweating she's dying inside For as much as I've gone through in my life, I think that it's okay that I wear a couple masks here and there. And it's okay that I don't show you who I really am because at some point I needed to practice self-preservation and you look like a threat to me.

So how about I just take a little bit of time before I unmask? So it's like, yeah, people have these different faces or you're like, I hate to use the term shape shifter. It's like, yeah, it's called survival. And thank God you didn't have to perform survival. And if you don't think that I am being authentic, like, it's because I probably am not in that moment in front of you because I don't feel safe yet. But we'll get there.

And it's still part of your authentic self to protect yourself. But we'll get there eventually. And you will get to know me over time. It's just I'm not going to present in a way that's... Or they won't. And it doesn't matter. Like, you guys know me. I used to present every part of myself to everyone I met.

Why are you doing it like you open your legs? Within one second because I wanted to make sure you feel a part of this conversation too. Thank you. Wait, I just had this vision about you. Me on the quad and my rollerblades. No, like you're like a and I'm not trying to, I swear I'm not made this is an insult. I really am not. Maybe not as much now, but you're in your years like a toddler where you just like let them in the room and they're just going to like, do.

You're going to grab stuff. Like, right? Don't you feel out about her? Yeah, but I think that's what I love about Jenna. She is like the embodiment of how I feel I could have existed in the world or allowed to exist in the world as like a child. So like I feel endeared to her in many ways because it makes me happy to see her to see someone operate in a way I could never operate because I just wasn't free. And like there is like both an envy and an awe when I see her just dance around. ask Jenna, when she's being silly, you will never not see me be a pageant mom.

My phone is out and I'm always recording her and I look through them and I'm laughing and I'm enjoying because she rewatches them. I rewatch them and I send them because I'm like, she exists in a way that I feel I could exist but I know that it's just not like my body's too like locked in. And even you when I see you like, I remember there's like this video over the pandemic of you at Whitney's house dancing to Natasha. Bedding Field song. And this is why you guys are my favorite people because it is so absurdly far away from who I am. And I'm like, I am so entertained by the both of you. I will, that's why like

my camera roll in like 2016 to like the next five years was just Jenna dancing on different things because it just brought me so much joy and relief to know that someone could experience that kind of freedom in their body. May I never see that camera roll? But you see it in real life every day. But I will say thank you and thank you because definitely not everyone's cup of tea. Wait, okay. To wrap this up. One thing that really last thing is that when I first came to your house and I saw that you're, I know I said this on here before, I'm sure.

Your room had all your friends writing and signing all over it. Like she just had a wall in her room that everyone was allowed to draw on. Every single wall, including at one point the rug. It's what I'm saying. It's like she still lives like a young little girl. But like literally in my house, I touch the wall. I was not allowed to touch walls because you would leave a fingerprint. I don't know how my parents did it. I literally had someone be like, did you touch the wall?

Hey, who touched the wall? I fear that I'm going to be like how your mom is. Yeah. And I fear I'm going to be how your mom is. Good. You are. You're so like, you're so trusting of your kids and they can sense it and you let them explore. And I'll tell you, I see sometimes like Ace getting marker on the couch or something and I go, oh my God, we got, we got to get that off. And it's like, my mom would have been like, it's okay, let's clean it off. And as long as everyone's writing on my walls was contained to my room, which it was fine. That was my space. And I could wear what I want, be who I wanted, have the room however I wanted. But I feel like because of my health in the last five years, like I look at that person on my camera rolls and stuff, like out at places, just like,

not realizing that anyone else is even around and I'm like, who is that person? I think that that everyone can relate to that. I'm sorry, but I really do. I think that everyone can relate to seeing an older past version of yourself and being like, what the fuck happened? I'm often not aspiring to be like someone else. I'm aspiring to be like someone I feel like I used to be. Same.

Working on that in therapy. That's like it's inherently kind of sad because you're like, I had it. I was that. Why am I, you know, do you ever have that? No way. Not anymore. No, because she, no, because I really did. I really was a disaster. And you have your future to aspire to and loving the person you are right now. I think it's really tricky when you want to be who you were before. Because the whole joy and point of life is that you get to live, you get to change, you get to grow. And I have this like obsession with, no, I had it good. I was great. I was already good. So I want to be that again.

I know your mom doesn't want to be called an almond mom anymore. But my mom had a slip up. My mom had a slip up. You know, she's been on Luxapro for a while. So she's been just a fucking angel. But she had a slip up and too back into her almond mom ways. And I had bought a pair of sweatpants from TikTok. And I like them really, really baggy.

Because I like to wear him like at the whitest part of my hip took it out. She was like, who's this this? I was like, those are my sweatpants. Mom, they're not yours. They have to be Alohas. They have to be Alohas. And I was like, I know, I've gone a little bit bigger.

And she kept laughing and laughing and then parading them around, comparing it to how big they are compared to her little waist. No. And then I snapped you guys. And I was just like, I already said. I was a fucking fat. How much more do you have to like, you know? Good.

Yeah. But then she came like rushing because she's on Lexapro. This would have never warranted an apology. But very quickly, she followed me to the bathroom where I was crying. She's like, no, you know I was just like baggy pants. Like, I think they're so cool. You're not fat. I've seen you in the shower.

You look good. You were crying over this? Oh, yeah. Really? Because it's just... It's mean. It's one of those things that it's like she did... She's like, this is my mom every day.

No, it's like, I think any other time I would have just been like, oh, because I'm in this extended postpartum, like sensitivity. But why does your mom not want to be called an almond mom anymore? I don't know. She just like, you're always talking, call me an almond mom. What is the? And then I explained it to me. She doesn't know what it is?

She does. I explained it to my dad and he just laughed at me and was like, thought I'm crazy, but they are almond parents. He is an almond man. He's an almond. He's an almond man. He, oh my God, I made myself a plate of leftovers this weekend. And like for 15 minutes, my dad's like, that's the biggest plate I've ever seen anybody

make. that's for four people. Oh my God. Like he was just going on and on. They're so crazy. Yeah. And then similar pants thing. I was at the mall with my mom.

I tried on a pair of jeans. I'm like, I love these. They're so comfortable. She's like, they're so big. You need a size down. Like, why would you want them so big? I came home. I ordered the pants a size down.

They're too small. And I want to be like, hey, mom, those were the right ones. You know? Yeah. Like, what is it with moms and pants? I know. And it's, it's, it's. It's just one of their forever glitches where it's like they cannot help them.

So my mom's like, you know my mouth. Like you know my heart, but you know my mouth. And I'm like, okay. And I was fine with it. She gave me a hug. Thank God for Lexa Pro. I think it heals the world. Our moms are similar.

Yes. And you think that I'm some very capable human? No, my mom did everything for me. It took me a while to catch up to being an adult. Oh, yeah. Your mom does everything. She's a vacuum queen. She knows every model out there.

I like your mom. Yeah, you are. That's why I like you. You're my mommy. But it was because my mom would be like, ah, ah, now clean it up. I noticed you're doing that to Ace and I'm always like, bitch, shut up. Oh, yeah, because I don't want Ace to be like you. She'd just be making a mess or just, oh, don't even get me started. Yeah, Jenna's so firm with my daughter. I'm like, bitch. You need that presence. You need everything.

Ace knows that she can control Mommy and Daddy as soon as they come in she goes like angry high one Tia Agua and then so then they'll be like Oh you want Tia Agua?

I'm like you're not having my Agua That's my Agua Yeah So we don't have to be mean But you have your Agua and I have mine Or she'll go to rip my glasses off my face No thank you And she responds

Yeah In a calm way But you hear that evil voice she uses No thank you She like goes so monotone it's like it is like handmade you're like no thank you no thank you we're not doing that and i don't say you're not doing that because i don't want to put that on her yeah just we as a community we're not doing that i can't stand your ace voice do you want to know what's worse is when they come

home and then she just starts crying and screaming about something and they just go okay it just teaches her that she has to cry and scream and she's getting activated what are you supposed to do i'm offering This is too hard. No, I'm offering her a way where she doesn't have to get upset to get attention. She can just ask what she wants for. I'm fine with it. I don't want to disrupt what you do, but I just want to say that your voice, when you talk to A's freaks me out.

Don't care. Because I can't handle it. In what way? But I did notice in that video I posted on Instagram, like when she ripped Bernie's Band-Aid off of him, someone commented, like, that she was looking at you. Like she knew she was in trouble. No, she's not in trouble. Guys, we never even talked about that I went to the World Cup game with my dad.

That's so funny, you literally went to the World Cup. Fuck. Which one? What was my dad? We saw Switzerland versus Qatar. Oh, nice. It was just so beautiful seeing my Mexican immigrant dad who, like, plays soccer's whole life, would always want to go to a soccer game, but couldn't necessarily afford it. Soccer is a game of the people, but they make the tickets so absolutely expensive.

And it's like, people work their absolute. off for a game that is of the people, for someone up high to make this money. And I think the one thing that the World Cup is teaching us time and time again is that the world gets along. Yeah. But like everyone celebrating. You figured it all out.

Yeah. World peace. Everyone celebrating everywhere, except for that the United States won't let Iran stay here. And so they... That team is stonnen. Stonnen. And so Mexico. Oh my God.

Have you seen that TikTok of them slowly leaving their plane one by one? No. Oh, my just please look it up. Oh, my God. Dude, Ronnie and Socrates. Yes. That sounds like super hot. And the fact that they're doing well is Stonan because they're making,

United States won't let them stay here so they have to stay in Mexico. Aren't they staying in Tijuana? Wait, why can't they stay here? Because of our chair. Here we go. Look at this, look at these beautiful Iranian men. Wait, why are they dressed up? Look at them so organized.

It's not teams travel last, you never traveled with a team in your tucks. And it's like the coming off of a plane or a bus is like a big thing. Yeah. Why? Because it became a thing culturally in soccer and it just stayed that way, like presenting the team. They're like almost too good lucky. Yeah, I think so. Very like well kept too.

Yeah. But Mexico obviously let them in and let them stay. So they stay there and they're only allowed to come to the U.S. 24 hours before their game, they have to leave immediately after. So imagine being able to do well while you are underslept. You have to travel. I have to stop pretending that I like you. This is rude. I hear you. I'm hearing you.

Yeah. It's so, so rude of us to do when the World Cup is about the world. And yet they're still doing great and looking great. And you know what, De Huana has got great food. Have you been at De Huana? I don't think so. Let's take her. Would I know if I've been? I think like if you've crossed.

at the border and gone and come back like in a car. Wait, wait, wait. I have a really great idea. I know that it's not in like the need, not in the next year, maybe after that. There, I, my best friend and I used to make Esther walk, walk to. We take her to the original Caesar salad place in Tijuana. We take her to my favorite taco spot. We just drive across the you meet, the three of us.

We'll give her a whole Tijuana experience. Wait, can we also get dental work? Isn't it cheaper there? Oh, anything you want. Girl, we can get asses there. Can we get a new pussy? If I'm going to be huana, I'm not getting my teeth done. I'm getting my ass and pussy done.

Okay. Pouset redo. What's going on? Red card or yellow card? Red card being a deal breaker. Yellow card being you'll let it slide. Okay. All right.

First one up. If they drive past their ex's house, but they also bring you along. Oh, no. Yellow? Yellows? Yeah, low card. If it's a girl, if now I'm with a guy friend and he's doing that, I'm going to be like, brother, it's a red card, you're out.

But if it's a girl, I'm like, yeah, let's see. She's parked outside. Yeah, because she's just like, I got my drive for slides since last week. Next up. If they have an ultra clean pristine apartment, but they wear their shoes in the house. Yeah, red card all the way. Shoes in the house at any fucking point. Oh, Esther.

I thought for the whites you'd come through on this one. I know, but I'm trying to change. Like, it is. Esther, your house is shoes off house. Yeah. It is, but. I've never seen you with your shoes in your house. But that's because I have in-house shoes.

Yes, which is proper. That's the way you do it. Oh, okay. That's not saying that you have to be barefoot in your house. That's like a new invention for the white people. Is shoe house shoes? Shoe house? Because they can't be barefoot.

Shoehouse shoes. All right. They're a healthy communicator, but it's only through Snapchat. Yeah, Snapchat in general is a red card for me. If you can only communicate via anything other than looking at me and speaking. I can't even imagine a man on Snapchat. Like you little bitch. Because there are none. There's just boys.

Ew, you burp! Ew, do you fart too? Fucking weirdo. He works a lot, but he works out a lot. Normally only goes to female dominated fitness glasses. Love that. Oh, you know what? Fuck no.

Green card. Yeah, that's fine for me. Red. Why would it? You do not want a man. Oh, wait, I see it. You know, Esther's right. Red.

Why? I don't want a man that's comfortable around women working out. I think that he has an ulterior motive here. Also, it's bitch. Those are workouts for us little girls. Those are not for you and your man muscles. Esther, you got to go to hell. Esther's a man sometimes

I appreciate it You're nasty man I know I thought I was in an all-girl pod Turns out No it's so it's like getting worse too I'm like misogynist It's gross

It's from someone else Yeah Where is it from Because Dave is not massaginist No it's not Dave Dave tells me Yeah you're bad Esther But I'm like I know it's weird

I'm singing from a different way I feel like maybe he's like Being predatory and trying to be a pick me And trying to be like an ally to women when he's really just like, the performative shit is like really. Loves family game night, but gets extremely upset when they start losing.

Okay, that's Kalila. Okay, like I would let it slide. Wait, that's Dave too. That's fucking Dave. Do you let it slide? No. Yeah. It's okay to get upset when you're losing.

That's part of being competitive. Yeah, I think as long as... If you're being a sore-ass motherfucking loser and you're like, no, that didn't happen. So let me talk about my sister's ex. The reason that it was like, we would play poker. We'd always have like poker night. And if it was me and him at the end,

I would always intentionally lose because he was one of those narcissistic fucks that like it wasn't even a funny upset. It was like everyone's day was ruined. And then my sister would then pay for it when they got back to their bedroom at night. That is the nastiest.

So that kind of red card. But if it's like Dave, because Dave's upset is funny to me. Like when he's upset about karaoke and like people taking their turns, it's like, so funny to me. Yeah. Dave being upset is generally funny. I know it's so addicting. Um, to upset him. But if they're like really mad and ruining the night, that's red card, baby. But are you, where do you fall? What category are you? Oh no. I'm, I'm honestly, I think I bring the vibes.

Because if there's not one competitive person there, like, what the fuck are we doing? That's fair. Like, if everyone was an ester about it, it would be boring. Because to me, it's like, I'm telling you that this matters and it's high stakes and you can make fun of me. And I'm like, really throwing my heart onto this game like to me that's fun and funny and you can be with it or you can be against it yeah and if i'm crying at the end it's even funnier you know what i mean it's like i'm not going to take it personally i'm not going to beat anyone up i'm not going to ruin your night you know part of playing game night is like caring shit's about to get heated over monopoly yeah exactly i want to have game night oh we should that i'll be a part of it just has to wrap by eight

i carry a lego game in my car we're not going to play that one what's What the fuck, first of all? Wait, rap by eight. But the baby... 7.30. No, because Ace goes down at 7. That's when the night starts. Okay, let's...

Your... Music to my ears, lady. If we start at 2 p.m., great. 3 p.m. As soon as they wake up from their nap, perfect. Wait, no. Well, we want them to be asleep. Oh, oh, I see.

Ain't kids playing with us. I can, because I close sleep. But he can stay asleep without you in the bed, right? No, I stay in the bed with him. I like to just stare. What about Aloha? Can he be in the bed? He can play the game with you guys

Well, I'm not there How about that? She's like game night I won't be there Yeah, game night I'm sending someone Yeah, but I'm participating No, she's hearing the answers

And texting them Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly But that's interesting An interesting pitch is game night With the baby's there Yeah And we wrap my head around that You're right, it's not happening

Wait a second, what am I saying? If they have a criminal record but it's non-violent. Fine. Not for me. I'm done with, I'm done. What do you mean you're done?

As if it started. Okay, the reason I'm saying, she's like, yeah, I used to date this felon and I'm done. No, my uncle. Did you date him? No, he didn't like him. But Esther, what if it's like you, you fucking, you have a juvie record of like selling weed in like the 2000s where it was

still a big no-no? No. Or what if they just like got in a fight in high school, which is every human idea? No, I don't want that person. then that's not my person you don't believe in prison reform i do but it's not my person okay that's crazy wait why am i literally becoming maga before our eyes right now yeah this is so scary this is really scary i literally liberal debt bernie sanders ride hard for him but like i don't know why i don't know but you got to go trad wife something's got to happen oh my god the transformation

yeah yesterday esther was like oh my god you would it would be so funny you as a trad wife and I'm like why did you even say those words? Did I say that? Yeah in bed when you were you guys were in bed together but by the way they're not enmeshed when you were I don't remember okay next one they pay for the bill

but they don't tip well whoa you are Maga oh wait I literally meant this one I made this one oh my god no it's because she She thought she could pick it without looking. Yeah, that's true. Like you're a fucking ref. This is like that one friend's episode when Ross's in-laws, the dad, Rachel's parents paid for dinner.

And then Ross looks over at the tip and he's like slides a little extra. Oh, that would be Dave. And then the dad comes and he's like, well, you think I'm cheap? And it became a whole thing. That's a great topic for a TV show. I love that. I will say though Sometimes I'm like Dave you tip too much

You can never tip too much No you can't yeah I don't believe in that Because the servers are The mag is coming out The servers are what? That is part of what they have factored in To their income I know but like I do feel like sometimes it gets out of hand

Like one I'm picking every negative take just to fight you I don't even believe these things I just don't want you to get away with the shit you say my parents you're turning me so evil she's not the pot parents have worked in restaurant my dad you know their their whole lives i hate i don't believe any of these things i know you got to go home and you're just triggered by jenna yeah i make you maga yeah you do you're my maga origin online would agree with you that like they hate me so much and the things that i say

that they're like, fucking liberals, I'm going to go be maga of Warren. I've heard that take and it's only for men usually. It's like she's just so annoyingly feminist. Not about you, but like women online. That's like I just want to be a misogynist. You know, you're making me right wing. That's what your whole morality hinges on. Yeah, like a woman pissed you off.

You don't have your own set of like fundamental beliefs that you're going to base it off of how you feel about a woman online is insane. That's so funny. Yeah. I've got that a lot too. They're like, well, you didn't have to show your leg hair like that. What? Brother, what? Brother.

Brother. Okay. It's time to go. It's time to go. Goodbye. Goodbye. We love you. We'll see you next time.

Bye. We'll say. We'll say.