Trash Tuesday w/ Esther Povitsky & Khalyla Kuhn - We Made Carmen Christopher a Viral Sensation

Episode Date: June 16, 2026

BTS, BONUS CONTENT AND MORE! Only on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TrashTuesdayPodcast     GET IT BEFORE ITS GONE - https://trashtuesday.myshopify.com/ We��re welcoming Carmen Christopher (English Teacher, The Bear) with our bestie, Caroline Goldfarb! We’re uncovering Esther’s battle with physical touch, the fetishization of breast milk, and Gen Z slang (WERK MAMA!). Did I mention we LOVEEEEEEEE Chicago!! Shoutout: Viaggio, Pita Inn, & Johnnie’s Beef. Carmen’s movie, ”Never Change!" premieres TOMORROW, on Hulu and on Disney+MORE CAROLINE!https://www.instagram.com/caroline_goldfarb/?hl=enMORE CARMEN!https://www.instagram.com/carmenyescarmen/?hl=enThank you to our sponsors:Watch every episode of the Hulu Original series Alice and Steve on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Thank you to HELIX - Go to https://www.helixsleep.com/trashtuesday  for 20% off site wide. Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know we sent you! Watch every episode of the Hulu Original series Alice and Steve on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. *Listen to Esther's New Solo Pod!* https://www.esthersgrouptherapy.substack.com FOLLOW TRASH ON SOCIALS: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/itstrashtuesday Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@itstrashtuesday MORE ESTHER:TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@esthermonster Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/esthermonster/ MORE KHALYLA:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/khalamityk/ Tigerbelly Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@UCIyIoM_Nd8HtY19fuR_ov2A   PRODUCTION:Studio Ten42: https://www.instagram.com/studioten42/ Guy Robinson: https://www.instagram.com/grobfps/ Arielle Jade (Editor): https://www.instagram.com/jade.rabbit.cce/ Elisa Hernandez Kohler: https://www.instagram.com/ellie.lianna/ Megan Clements:  https://www.instagram.com/egggymeg/   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

His restaurant that he owns. What's it called? Vigios. Sounds so much like vagina. But the whole cast of the bear hangs out there. You know I'm in the bear, right? No.

Are you actually? You didn't know that? You're on the bear? That's awesome, dude. I mean, I'm in like... Congrats! That's huge! Hugs are so intimate and sexual.

It depends on how you hug. I think it's the most chill thing in the world. But if you hug asexual, then everyone's like, you're a bad hugger, because I hug like this. I hug like this. I hug pretty. What about like a side hug?

I do side hugs. Because then you kind of put off that you're normal and well adjusted. I'm a side hugger. You don't really have to get into your psychosis. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm not like squeezing the fuck on you. I barely touched you. I barely touched you.

It's just like, hey, what's up? I know. What am I supposed to do? Just say hi from here? Dude, the worst. That's so weird. No. You have to touch somebody.

What about the worst is when it's a really good friend like Esther and I. We've known each other for like 10 years. So that's the worst when there's pressure to actually. Like if two people should be able to hug, it should be us. Yeah. But I become less and less wanting to touch you as the years pass. I can't explain it. Wait, Esther, you can't hug her?

Well, right now I'm breastfeeding. So it's like the, oh, the boobies are tender. Nice one. Can you hear of throw that in there? Wait, sir, are you pissed that I touched you? Am I pissed? Like I did a side hug. No, I'm never mad because I know it's my thing.

And I, in fact, always feel so awkward and weird. Like I'm so rude. And, like, it makes people think I don't like them, but it's not like that. What is it? I would love to hug you. Were you touched my head? If I had a different body. Like, if you touch your children.

Oh, interesting. Do you hug Dave? Do you squeeze your babies? Were you hugged as a child? We know that I wasn't. Yeah. No, my mother had an almond mom doesn't love. I also had issues with this, which is why I think I have issues.

Yeah, you don't seem touchy. No, I'm cold. I'm born... Aren't you? I have some issues with touching. I don't broadcast them. Like, if Carmen comes in for a hug, I'm going to, you know, like have us. You know what I'm...

We never even met. We hugged. I'm going to see that it's like... Have we met? Nice to meet you. I'm Carolyn. Nice to meet you. Wait, have we met actually?

That's how you meet. I don't know. I don't... I don't... Well, that's how we met, but I was like, I'm coming to do your podcast. I'm on this thing for, I guess, 90 minutes. We're slotted, I saw. I actually asked them if we could go a little longer and,

your team said it was okay. My team, wait. Four hours. Can we talk for a second? Yeah. Ellie is really sweet. Ellie is amazing. I almost died.

Somehow against the odds, we have an amazing team here. I got to say something's really funny. This text really made me laugh. She actually wrote to do a little bit too. Well, basically she was like, oh, I want to hear this. But basically I was like, hey, what's the address? and she says, I sent the address to your email. But it's like, that's really funny because I'm like, you could just respond with the address.

I mean, I got 15,000 emails. I can't like, you know what I mean? I don't know. I just thought it was like, I thought it was like a business. Like it was very core. I was driving. I'm so sorry. Oh, no, no, no.

Oh, you're driving. That makes sense. Wow. Trying to kill a woman. Like, I don't know. Whatever. You're right and I'm wrong. Whatever.

No, I get that. I would be like I want the address in my text. I want the address in my text. I want the address of my text. But then I was such a you guys thing. Like I hate grown adults that need to be treated like children. Oh, you hate me secretly then. I hate you secretly.

I totally. I don't need to be treated like a child. Okay. What I just heard was that it was in your email. Because I also, what I got in the car, I was like, I wonder what the address is. And for sure, it would have been more convenient to open up my messages and see it at the top. But what I did was I opened up my email. searched. I have four billion emails. Okay. Now we're bragging about our emails. He's a billionaire of emails.

Oh, most popular boy in the world. You're really successful. Let me introduce our guests. Today we have my soulmate, the person that I will be buried next to against, I don't care how many laws I have to break. Caroline Goldfarb. And she's 34 weeks pregnant. 34? When do you do? July 4. First. Wow. Congratulations. Thank you. I feel that you really mean that.

I don't know. That's so weird, though. Do comedians care about other people's pregnancies? I know. I feel like all comedians are secretly disgusted by like happy families. Bro, you know I'm a person first. Don't come at me as a comedian. Don't come at me as a comedian.

I'm a normal-ass guy who ended up here. For the first time, a guest we've been trying to get. He, I know him through, through Dave, everyone's favorite guest. he was on English teacher, the funniest show I've seen in 10 years. What else? You have a movie coming out on Hulu called Never Change. Never changed. June 17th.

And you're a very funny stand-up comedian. I can name my credits. You throw out of car. And Christopher. Live from the Windy City is my special on YouTube. There's just a bunch of shit, honestly. Just like go look me up. Substack.

TikTok, Vine. Know that? I don't really do TikTok. I had somebody post for me for a little bit. bit and I just I can't do it. It's very comedian of you. But I just, I don't have time for this shit. It's like you have to do everything now.

No, you don't. No, you don't. It's bullshit. It's bullshit. But why are you so busy with your billions of emails? Yeah. I just like. Hillary Clinton over here.

I don't delete my emails because I'd like to search if I need it. How does it feel being this close to a pregnant woman? Do you feel like a sexual fetish coming out or do you feel normal? It's okay to say yes. I literally felt normal. Okay. Do you? Esther, I'm going to turn that back around on you.

But that's funny that you say that because, yeah, wait, do you feel sexual around her? No, but I have noticed lately, hear me out, that because I've been posting a lot of breastfeeding content, innocently. May I say innocently? And I've noticed like a few guys that I like acquaintancy with, you know, over the years, like are tuning in more. Mark Maren's him that like. Oh, that's hilarious. He's disgusted my motherhood. But I'm like, oh, is this like a thing that I forgot that this is like sexual?

Because I'm all like covered in my breast milk stains. You do talk about the stains a lot. Has Dave tried your breast milk? I refuse to try it. I'm very creeped out of it. You refused to try it. Would you? Would you?

Would I try breast milk? Would you try Esther's? My wife. I wouldn't try yours. No offense. Dave's my boy. I'm not fucking around. I don't play that.

Nope. Nope. Mommy, don't play that. Would you try? Are you going to try yours? I'm going to try my own. I'm going to try my own. I am sort of grossed out by the way that people describe the tasted breast milk.

I know. They always have to talk about how sweet it is. I know. It makes me disgusting. It's like regular milk, but sweet. I had some straight up milk straight from the teat of a cow in Japan. And that was awesome. And I kind of got a lactose thing.

I get sick. Were you breastfed from the cow? Well, no. They like. I bet you'd suck it from the cow. I didn't suck it from the cow, but they had it like ready to go from the cow. I wouldn't suck it from the cow. I'm not Tom Green.

Shout out, RIP. Is he alive? Oh my God. What did not Tom Green? I love Tom Green. He's definitely alive. Remember Tom Green? Wait, yeah.

Gross. Now everybody's trying to be Tom Green, but they're not really that good. It's so true. He's kind of like the prototype, Conor O'Malley, kind of. It's really hard for me when someone is like so clearly. genius they top it all they're like someone like tom green and then you like check in now where is like he's probably just like has a podcast i hope he's rich as fuck no you know what no there's no how would he be rich as fuck oh he's had a podcast for sure really and it's isn't that like almost

the worst thing you could hear no well it's funny because like i think about like you are you the permanent co-host no okay you're a guest we're both guests we're guests we're guests she's my best friend okay yeah it feels like i've been This is my first time hearing the podcast. Yeah. Would you feel like when you're on a podcast, you have to know who's what role? He's trying to do a power ranking and like, not bad out. Well, no, I just like to know stuff.

Will you change the way you treat her now? No. Absolutely not. I've been treating her nothing but awesome. Yeah, he's been really kind to me. But you are in my house. I do think we're friends. No, I can see as being friends.

Like, not like super close because we're both got shit. No, I don't see that happening. but I think he's very friendly like yeah like if I saw you at the club or some shit I'd be like oh what's up how are you oh yeah yeah there's there you are okay cool oh there's a famous person I gotta go

that would be you that would be you no I'm just joking yeah yeah yeah that's everybody in L.A everybody in L.A. I'm gonna freak out when I see you at the club yo and that's the thing about comedians is we shut down the clubs explain that I'm just being sick it we don't go to clubs

Have you ever actually been to a, I'm not talking about a comedy club, like a club? Of course. They're awful. Absolutely not. Esther, they're so awful. Esther and the club would be hilarious. You know the one time I went, some like pretty girl came up to me, tapped me on the show. I was like, can we have more cups?

Wait, this is a stand-up joke. Write that down. Can you guys remember this? The one time I went to a club, boom, that was perfect. Okay. Wow. I was funny once. Thank you.

That was good. Esther. You wrote a joke. I accidentally told a joke. There you go. I told you I was funny once every year. That's hilarious. You know that.

Are people roasting you? They're just your fans when they know. Do you have a podcast? Hell no. What? To me, it's like, okay, my commitment right now is writing, acting, stand up. And then it's like, if I do another thing that takes away from those things that I want to do. How are you going to fit in raising Caroline's child amongst all those things?

And drinking Esther's breast milk. Because we did bring her to tell you that you are the father. Wait, do you not have a dad? Who's the dad? No, there's a dad, but. Who's this guy? Is he in the picture? He's like the nicest, kindest Jewish man.

Are you Jewish? Yeah, extremely. So this is great for your parents. Well, you'd be surprised. Are you Jewish? I'm a half-seys. And then Dave is Jewish. Dave is the real deal.

Okay, cool. But he's not culturally. He doesn't. I feel like there's some Jew tension amongst you and my household. There is. And we need Dave here to, but they're like, because you're so Jewish. So culturally Jewish. Let's not get it twisted.

I don't go to temple. I do actually go to temple sometimes. Do you think you're more culturally Jewish? On the spectrum with Dave, I'm at the way other end. Also, by the way, your diamond is. So cool. This is insane. She's a Persian gym, baby.

You're putting it together. Holy shit. Yeah, now I'm looking at it. Okay, okay. We got a rich person here. Oh, no, wait. Let's go. No, no.

No, I'm just playing. I'm just fine. I'm just fine. I do have a question, though, for you guys legitimately. What's up? We're all yours. This summer. Let it up.

Okay. It's going to be my 20th high school reunion. Would you guys go? Have you gone? 100% always go. Do you like that? But you don't like side hugs. I don't think you're going to like a reunion.

Yeah. Let's start with the hugs. You might have to open up to hug. Don't do it because you feel like you have to do it. Like your gut is right. Like, Dunka. She has to get on a flight. That's the thing.

It's a little different. With one of my children. Where is it at? It's in Chicago. Let's be honest. You want to Chicago all the fucking dime. But I don't know that I have two children. Which child would you bring?

I don't know. I'd want to bring Ace, but I'd probably have to bring Bernie. Is Bernie the littler one? Yeah, because he's the one that sucks the titty milk out. Oh. We're back to the titty milk. Carmen, any updates on? Any updates on the city milk, I feel nothing.

Okay. Circling back. Straight up. Circling off the circle back. Yeah. I just feel nothing, honestly. Okay. Okay.

Okay. But not because I'm like grossed out just because like I'm not about this life. Respectfully to Dave. Wait. So here's here's a question. Or not even a question. It's an answer for you. You're going.

You have to go because you want to go. So you're going and you're going to figure out the baby thing. I'm going to throw in another wrench. Your mom's going to watch the. kid at home. Your dad's going to be on the couch watching the news and being like, oh, there's so many carjackings in Chicago. Let me throw in one more wrench. The weekend after my high school reunion is my grandma's memorial. Oh, shit. And I can only choose one. When did she pass? My only grandma. She died in the fall. It's a very long, complicated death stories. Did you

already go to the funeral? There was no funeral. Wake? No. I think it This is the memorials over eight months after the passing. Just forget about grandma. Forget about grandma. Were you close with her? She moved to Saudi Arabia for 20 years the year I was born. So no. Oh, you're good.

But she's the only grandma I ever had. I mean, the fact that they're even doing a memorial at this point. Are you going to see a bunch of family, though? No, just my mom and her brother and not the brother she's suing, but a different brother. Okay, what? Okay. What the hell? We can do that later.

And I'm here. Anyways, look, I have to deal with that on my own. I want to talk about... The lawsuit. I want to talk about... I want to talk about mothers. Ooh, I like that. Because I unfortunately have to come out, come forward and confess that my son is my husband.

Yeah. He is the love of my life. My son is my husband. Damn. Okay. Do you, are you... I forget, what are your sibling? I have two, I'm the youngest.

I have two older siblings and boys or girls. Older brother and then older sister. Is one of you guys a favorite? He's the baby and he's a boy. Are you the favorite? Everyone thinks I'm the favorite and I probably am. Yeah. But my mom straight up will do anything for any one of her children.

She's like incredible. Well, you have a good mom. My mom's awesome. Like I just like, I was like, growing up I was like, I would have gave up on these kids a long time ago. I was like, why is she still dealing with my brother? No. My brother was bad. And I was like, she never quit on him.

I'm like, I don't know. Like, I'm talking about my brother was in and out of jail. My brother had two kids before he was like 19. Like, people were after him. Like, it was, it was like, he like caused a lot. She stands 10 toes down. Yeah, and she was like. I was like, dude, fuck this kid.

And she didn't give up on him. And, you know, he's working and he's a carpenter now and he's doing better for himself. But I was like, bro. And she was just there And I was like, I don't know how I would never I would have thrown his ass out Same. Would you say you're close with your mom? For sure. I love my mom.

How often do you guys talk? Once or twice a week? Is that a lot or no? That's little? No, that's really nice. That's actually pretty good for a mother's son. If you said every day I'd be creeped out. Yes. No, it's, but if you said once every two weeks, I'd be like,

that's not enough. I would say like realistically, it depends on the week. Like, I just moved into a new place. So like we FaceTime yesterday. I talked last week. So like twice this week. Do you guys sign off and say I love you? Of course, yeah.

I think so. My parents struggle with that. Same. I have to get it out. I have to say it first. We say love you. We don't say I love you. Did you grow up?

This is a really. I love you is kind of weird. I love you. Yeah. Okay, I got to go. I love you. Ew. Check this out.

I got to go. All right. Love you. Sweet. Same thing, but not creepy. This is an interesting one. When you grew up, did you kiss either of your parents on the lips when you were like a little kid. I think so. I think see it's kind of interesting.

I brought it up with my husband. I was like, oh, do you kiss like little kids on the lips? And my husband was like, the normal answer, he was like, no, absolutely not. I will not be kissing any of my children on the lips. That's how I am. I don't want to know. I can't, I can't be kissing on the lips. No, but I like the cheek and the head and stuff. I have a friend who just, oh, my really close friend John Reynolds has a kid. Oh my gosh, he's so funny. Yeah. But he, he has a kid and I, like, I was just in New York. I stayed with him for a night and I was playing with his son. And how old was the son that? He's like one. He's huge. Well, John is tall. John's tall. But I was playing with him and shit and then I like gave him back to his wife and I kissed his ass on the top of the head. I couldn't,

like, I just did it. I was like, and I was like, wait, is that weird? The kid, another person's baby. No, not on the head. That's like a top of him. That's known to be kind of allowed. It's like you can kiss someone else's kid not on the, just not on the lips. Ew, well, no one's doing that. Well, I'm obviously kissing Caroline's son on the lips. Yeah, Esther has lip privileges.

For real? That whole generation before us is weird, bro. Like, they're all getting in trouble now. We know why. You think? They were, like, doing weird stuff, bro. Well, they, you know, had to go to World War II and whatnot. Yeah, we didn't have to go to wars.

Yeah. Maybe, though. all like, it's giving this, it's giving this. This is the best restaurant to eat at. You guys want to wait in line for a croissant. Everybody's so annoying now, right?

See, I think we're the weird ones, not the. Yeah, you're right. Everybody's the fucking so annoying. It's entitled. It's giving this.

It's giving that. It's fun to be annoying. You're not. That's true too. That's true too. Step in, join us. I am going probably.

Boots the house down, Mama. See, like that was annoying, but it was fun to say. Yes. This shit is getting out of control. Everybody talks the same.

That is true. Everybody's sitting. Everybody's voice is annoying. The best restaurant in Illinois. What's what you're saying? This is the best restaurant. That is the normal thing. Saying this is the best restaurant in like Altadino or whatever.

That's normal. Like everyone's like tempo and being like, I'm shipping. Work. It's like shut the fuck up. But what if something was so sickening and fierce that you, Carmen Christopher, just simply had to say, work, mama? Yeah, like what would that be?

What if, what if, I'm just saying hypothetically. Work my, I'm going to start saying it. What just watch. We'll do it. Well, there'll be a, there'll be a time in this interaction where I'm just going to say it organically and it's going to, it's going to feel good. I know. I understand. Gangbusters online.

Wait, what is there, what is your best restaurant? Yeah. My best restaurant. I really, I really love my, my, my, my, my, my favorite restaurants in L.A. Ha ha ha. Is major dormo. Not even say it right. Major D.

How do you say it? Major Domo. Not Dormo. Dormo. Also, I fuck with quarter sheets. Oh, you like to eat, huh? Oh, somebody likes to eat. Like me, okay.

The restaurant I go to the most. I'm hungry. The restaurant I go to the most. Caroline, let me hear you. And I hungry. Tell us more about the best restaurants. You guys go out. See, actually, now you got me going.

I'm like. Go more. Go more. Wait, wait, wait, what do you get at Major Domo? Because the chickpea macaroni is so good. What's the shit? The chicken. No, the whole chicken. The bread with honey. I never even knew about being.

But what I hate is that they change their menu, which I know that's what nice restaurants do, but they used to have things that they don't have anymore and it's upsetting. No, that's kind of the circle of life. That's just the nature of change and stuff. Absolutely. Are you about to roll up on us with some bananas? Yeah. Wait, what is this shit?

He made that issue. Are we not saying, it's part of the, um, I'm not a host. I'm not a host. I actually don't know why we get the banana. This is part of the podcast. This is the banana break. And it was introduced by my co-host. And if you don't approve of that, you're racist because she's Filipino.

Oh, well. And the banana is her favorite fruit. I'm half Mexican, so it can't be racist. You'd be surprised. I don't know. I don't know. You kind of feel racist, weirdly, the most in this triad. This is a banana.

Oh, that was definitely racist. I don't know why, but it was. It's like, big ass banana, by the way. Yeah, mine is really big. And this has a target sticker left on. That is absolutely insulting. That's a slap in the face to this panel. The thing I like about this banana is I can tell it's GMO as fuck.

And I like that. I like that. Seriously, it's not a bruise, not a blemish. What are we doing with this? No one has to eat it. It's just if you needed a snack. Oh, actually, I'm going to eat it. Wait, did I have a banana today?

You can have two in one day? Wait, you've already had one today? Yeah, I had a banana on the way here. We've actually never... You had to come up within the last hour and you forgot? I actually think the peels in the car. We've been doing this podcast for five years. We've never had a guest to had a banana before they got here.

Yeah, yeah, I had a banana before you have to stop recording. Kind of rude. You're supposed to know not to do that. I haven't watched... You came having had. I haven't watched this podcast. You came having had. I had strawberries, blueberries, banana this morning.

My God. What's going to do you? on in your car. Well, not in the car. I had it in my new place. That would have been a good time to say work, mama. I just want to say. Oh, I forgot about it.

Let me just, let me just, let me put it in my brain. Wait, what do you get at quarter sheets? And what are your other? Pizza cookie. Let's go. Get the cake? Honestly, I'm talking about quarter sheets like I've been there more than once. I've only been once too.

I've been once, but I just want pizza right now. But I go to like steakhouses a lot that aren't like, it's more about the ambiance than like the food. I hate when people. like the ambience over the food. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. But it's about the martinis and the laughs. Yeah. Okay, alcoholic. Well, some of us like a martini. That's okay. No, we're not all your grandma. Wait, I do want to get back to moms for a second? Because I wonder, will you please share more about your mom's reaction to your pregnancy? She was like, Caroline, I'm going to tell you

something. I'm like, oh, she's going to give me this little gem of wisdom about being a mom or like tell me I'm going to be this amazing mom. She goes, listen closely. Nothing in this world will age you like your first child. I'm her first child by the way. Nothing. You will look in the mirror and you won't even

recognize yourself. Holy shit. It will aid you. And I'm like, holy shit. Thank you. So nice seeing you. Happy Mother's Day. But I love my mom. I love her. I love her. I know. She loves Esther. I don't believe it. She would like. Do you think she would like me?

She loves boys. Yeah, she would love you. Oh, shit. Before we get back into today's episode, we have great news for comedy TV fans. Every episode of the Hulu original series, Alice and Steve, is streaming on Hulu. From the producers of Baby Rane Deer comes a new edgy comedy, lifelong best friends Alice and Steve, see their world implode when Steve starts dating Alice's 26-year-old daughter. The once rock-soled friendship turns sour as Alice tries to set up.

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Make sure you enter our show name after checkout so they know that we sent you. Helixleep.com slash Trash Tuesday. Hey, Esther, is this Dave and Workaholics? Oh, and Juggalo? Why I know what this? Yeah. Oh, because I was like, that kind of looks like Dave. Oh, my God.

Does anyone know who played this character? Yeah, there's a whole Reddit thread on it. Will you text me that Reddit thread? That's so funny. Will you just text me and see what's it? I would say hi. Didn't say. Text me the address.

Let me just text me. Let me get your. Let me just text me. Let me get your IG. My IG is Carmen. Yes, Carmen. You could follow me for more goodies. Sorry, that's so embarrassing.

I was doing it. Just Carmen? More goodies is really good. I'm on board. Yes, Carmen. Carmen, yes, Carmen. Somebody created my Instagram for me when Instagram was new. I didn't know I was on it and people were posting for me.

This whole lack of accountability. Yeah, I hate that. It's okay. You can just be like, I have a whack Instagram name. Yeah, Caroline is giving you a rebrand. Wait, say what's up? Wait, what happened? What did I do wrong?

Wait, what's going on? I'm so good. Like, this was like a decade, 14 years ago when Instagram was new. Why? You don't have to even explain like someone else was doing your thing. No, no, they were doing a prank on me. They were doing a prank. They like created one.

He's changing his story on the fly. No, I'm being for real. But it's good. You have a good Instagram name. Why do you, it doesn't matter. Like, you don't have to explain that you were prank or anything. Carmen, yes, Carmen. It's not bad.

It's cool. Why are you so above social media that everyone else has to post for you. Oh my God. This was 14 years ago when Instagram was new. No one had to put, I didn't know. He'd say the same thing over like a politician. I didn't know Instagram was a lot.

He has one sentence. Triggered. TikTok is like, TikTok is embarrassing. What's the, that's your whole business? What was the point of you saying that just now? Wait, are you?

Are you? No, like, I just like, I feel like I just don't know how to do it. I also don't. I am the first to admit. But do you have a bunch of followers? I'm going to follow you. She's so good at. TikTok.

I literally have, she is. Don't lie. Oh my. You go viral all the time. Can you post about me? Please. Wait, no, me first. You said I'm your best friends.

Post about me. Hey, everyone. Check out this guy who hate social media and won't be on. You make a TikTok for Carmen and then make up for me. Oh my God, you're huge. You have 375,000. Oh my God. You need to get out more.

Bro, I got 6,000 posts about me now. Fine. I've got like maybe, maybe 700 TikTok. I got that bootch-chah. Marko. Literally own TikTok if you wanted to. I don't know. What about me?

I can't. Well, you're a boy. It's different. Nobody wants to fuck me. Wait, I got. I'm like, he wants to fuck you.

He just admitted it. No, but it's like, no. What I'm saying is like, everybody on social media is just mad horny. They're like, I'm going to follow this person

because I want to fuck them. No, at all, not even close. I'm sorry. Okay. I'll show you right now. Hey, I'm Carmen.

Carmen Christopher. Carmen yes Christopher. A day in the, life like here's me eating a banana and blueberries and strawberries like i know it's kind of a lot of fruit but that's interesting i'm going to post a tic-tac right now say mama work mama can we go viral right now it's no i don't know the word is like that go viral you know number okay number one rule tick-tac do not say going viral first off i'm on a podcast today started at eight a m i woke up a fruit and now i'm on and now i'm now i'm uh filming with the girls work mama

Work, mama. Work. That's good. That was so good. That literally was good. How do I post it? Can I post that? Please.

Send it to me. Please. Okay. That was really good. That was a good start. Can I run your TikTok? Yeah. I'll charge a really reasonable rate.

Can her baby run your TikTok? Please, my baby needs a job. My baby needs WGA insurance. I'm not making the minimum this year. But isn't that what TikTok it is? It's child labor. What? It's kids online making money

Your algorithm is weird Yeah, what's your I think your alcohol is having issues I'll show you, I'll show you, I show you Let's see, do you guys want to see the first thing that pops up? Let's see video So you do use TikTok Ranking the new S&L cast members

Now that this, I don't care You do, though That's what hurt The algorithm knows what you care about That's how it hurts you It's okay, I care too I don't think two WICLIN's that funny I care

Do you love TikTok and you just bashed it for no reason? You have something, something's going on. If I had 375,000 followers like you, I would probably love it. But I'm a loser. I'm a loser. And I rejected it. Talk into the camera and just say whatever and post every day and you will have 300,000. Yeah, you're funny.

You're actually funny. You're so funny. But doesn't that take away from like me getting like jobs that are acting? It adds to it. I think ads. Yeah. But I don't want to be like a talking head. I want to be like an actor.

You would just, first of all, we can't turn this into a motivational thing for Carmen, but you would, last thing I'll say, you would just be yourself and you wouldn't be some, it's not like you're going to go on there and become Gary B or whatever. Like, you're going to be you. But I like saving that stuff. For what? Okay. He doesn't want to do it. project he doesn't want to do it no you guys are right davis talked to me out of that mentality because i used to be like i want to save all my best material and not burn it online and david's like you should just be posting whatever you have that's good i've not done all of that but to a certain extent i have followed that all right i'm going to try that for a month because i have a bunch of shit that i don't post because i'm like eh it's not it's not ready or it is what about posting vids of you doing stand-up i hate doing that because i'm like i want to save it for a special What about posting bids of you breastfeeding from Carolina?

No, Esther's. We're posting videos of Esther doing stand-up. Did you even think about that? She's got 300,000 followers. I'm just going to start posting your clips. That could be big for you. She's huge on TikTok. You could be so big.

Wait, okay, sorry. I have to ask a question. Yeah. If you could build your baby using only traits and features and characteristics of the people on the couches today, Oh, that's so cool. What would you do? Harmon's heart.

Oh, that's sweet. Carmen's heart, number one. Not his liver. Oh, my God, I'm about to cry in this hoe. Carmen's heart, but Esther's killer instinct. Oh, say more. Don't stop. I want him to be a little killer.

I want him to be serious about standing on business, collecting his money. Whoa. Why are you making me a landlord? Because you're my Jewish little princess. Wait, are you serious? about staying on business because you seem so sweet that I'm like I know the cheeks really do throw people off it helps Esther stands up she's my number one it's so crazy you are my number one most valued especially for like in any industry questions I always go to you first I really appreciate that

that means the world to me I mean my my career's not going great right now no no it is you're my first you're my first go-to so yeah that's the inside and then everything else the outside it's a little tricky especially without collilo. Do you want to be honest, do you look down on people that are not comedians? Of course not. I look up to them. I know, but that's you.

When I'm on a set and shit, like I relate more to like the gaffer and like the fucking transpo people than the actors. What about like the family? What about like a writer? A writer? What about a pregnant writer?

Writers, I'm just like, okay, a bunch of dorks in the house, but I love you guys. That is pretty good. That's a good take. He's not wrong. A bunch of motherfucking dorks here. The crew are the real men.

I mean, like, everybody in my family is, like, construction worker. Like, no one went to college. I went to college. That's it. They think I'm gay because I went to college. That's kind of my family, too. Hunters, carpenters. You want to learn something?

What are you? Floor layers. My family's the opposite. I think because I have one degree, like, everyone thinks I'm a loser. I don't know. It's just. Yeah, you have, like, a ton of, I'll never forget at your wedding. Some Persian Jewish woman turned to me.

She goes, are you Ashkenazi? I'm like, what? She's like, she's like, Do you know what this sauce is? What? It was so funny. Because you know what? I'm Italian and growing up I watched a lot.

We know. We know you're Italian. You mentioned like 10 times. You're just getting a. It's the best restaurant ever. It's shipping. It's boots to the ground. I love mob movies and they would always be throwing the J word around.

And I was like, what's so wrong with Jewish people? And then I go to college and I got, I got a bunch of, No, I go to, because I didn't really know too many Jewish people in high school. I go to college and I got a bunch of Jewish roommates. Where do you go? These guys are chill. Where'd you go? University of Iowa.

Oh. They have the Jews there? Yeah, a lot of people from the Chicago suburbs go there. Yeah, because we can't get into you. Jews are most cool. It's for dumb people. University of Iowa is for people that can't get into University of Illinois. That's stupid.

We're from the same place. That's why we both know that. Yeah. It's for dumb motherfuckers. I barely got into Iowa. I went to Illinois. What about was on? I got in up because of my dancing.

But Iowa is a much more fun school and better school on campus. There's that alcoholic side of you again. I know. No, you're right. Urbana is boring, though. It sucks. Yeah. The weather's better in Iowa.

This is getting so fucking nation-specific. I was depressed. Sorry, we didn't go to Northwestern. You went to Northwestern? Bam! Damn! Rich girl! Nope.

Yeah, your mom did, not you. Come on. There's no way. Her mom paid for her student loans. If you met her mom, there's no way. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't, like, discover Evanston until, like, I graduated college. I was like, wait, there's this, like, really nice part of Chicago.

It's not even Chicago, really. No, it's like the great, you know how good I had it. It's one of the greatest college towns. It's in between a suburb and the city. It's perfect. I still don't know shit about Evanston. I did everything in Evanston. It doesn't feel like Chicago.

It's like upper crust, obviously. Yeah, it's fancy. And because it has northwest. Western that like yeah okay you have to understand I'm from Sherman Oaks I'm from the valley and going to Evanston you'd think it's kind of the same thing no but it was such a culture shock no Evans was not like Sherman no it was different as it yeah I the culture shock of moving to the Chicago land area for a girl from the valley we're opposites wait what was it like first of all I remember were you scared of us thinking like the produce here is

really bad yeah that's yeah that was worse in New York though the apples are amazing You knew you had to say that. I know I had to say it for you. For legal reasons. Like I just remember being like, whoa, not all produce is amazing and from California. This is really tasteless and bland. Yeah, that's real. The chain restaurant vibe is totally different.

We like pizza and beef. Exactly. What's that place that's like pasta and company or noodles? Noodles and company. I was like there's a chain restaurant that just sells variations on noodles. Chicago doesn't fuck with noodles and company. Well, I ate there every day in college, but okay. Butter noodles, shout out.

But then this is a chain restaurant. is when I started getting really fat because I was like, wait. That's what we are. I was starting to like it here. Yep. Because then I discovered pot belly. Oh! And I was like growing up, I'm like Subway sandwiches, whatever.

But no, in Chicago, sandwiches are treated differently. Yeah. I mean, like, you're eating like that is all. Like the thing about Chicago that's great is like the delis. Like you can go to a random ass suburb and it's the best sandwich you've ever had. The bread is really good. It's like French bread. And it's just, oh my God.

I go nuts. My mouth's watering. When I. I moved from Chicago and I realized that there was an Italian beefs everywhere in the country. My mind was blown. That is a hard pill to swallow. And when there's not jar and there's not jardin air everywhere. I'm like, wait, this is only in Chicago.

We got the best city in the world. Let's just at least touch on hot dogs for a second. I think the hot dogs, that changed my life. I was surprised when I moved here and there isn't a hot dog restaurant on like every third corner. Wait, even just back up. The phrase hot dog restaurant. Like that's a thing that if you said that to me.

growing up, I'd be like, what? Hot dogs, they sell them at Costco. No, we got bomb hot dogs everywhere. Shout out Poochie, shout out Herms, shout out Super Dog, shout out Portoos. I love Super Dog and somebody put me on Devil Dogs. Where is that? Johnies, I think it's in... Oh, is that in the Italian Beef Place, though? It is, but they have hot dogs as well.

Oh, okay. I have not had Johnny's. Johnies is awesome. I think it's in, I don't know. All the listeners are going to go nuts. He doesn't do. He's nice to coach. I'll out, you guys.

I moved 10 years ago. On my last trip, someone told me to go to devil dogs and it sucked. And haven't even heard of it. That person was trying to hurt you. They're a friend of me. To close out the food conversation. No. No.

But also, real quick, if you guys, if this is making your mouth water, you can now order, like, Italian beefs in the mail and the ship him in dry ice. And my mom sent me some for my birthday. And it was so good. And I had people over. And I had people over. And I was like, they never had Italian beefs and their minds were blown. Lisa Trager.

Do you know her? Oh, yeah. She's comedian. She and I grew up together. We went to the same love, Lisa. Same grade? Yeah, Kay, no, she was one year older, but K through 12. Yeah.

That's awesome. We were not necessarily friends growing up. We knew of each other, but she was a year older. It's like she was too cool to be my friend. For sure. But she sent me Lumiladas, frozen. Uninauties, yeah. And it hit.

It fucking slaps, bro. You know where I went on my last trip to Chicago? Pequods pizza. Pequods is good. It's a little saucy. Oh, it's not on the south side. I'm off Piquads. No, it's by, it's on the north side.

I'm afraid of the south side. It's in Lincoln. can park it's on the north side okay never mind i take cut that out no no leave that leave that clip it clip it clip it then clip it send me that i'm gonna post it no okay last last thing about food in chicago and i swear we're done if you're tuning out like i'm i got some crazy celebrity gossip about the television show the bear just stay tuned okay by the way my cousin never mind my cousin is like never mind i'm gonna continue his right his right his restaurant that he owns.

What's it called? Vigios. Sounds so much like vagina. But the whole cast of the bear hangs out there. Really? That he tells you to seem cool. No, they've told me that.

You know I'm in the bear, right? No. Are you actually? You didn't know that? It's so funny. Do you guys, have you been there? Never even heard of it. You're on the bear?

That's awesome, dude. I mean, I'm in like. Congrats. That's huge. But I'm not like a series regular. I'm in like two or three episodes of season. Can you be seen? Are you in the fancy restaurant?

Yeah, I got like, like scenes and shit. I'm in like two or three. You don't know my cousin's restaurant. You're not on the bear. I don't think they hang out there. Wait, that's so funny. Are you really learning this right now?

No, I remember. I had no idea. I had two kids, you know. But also it's not a big deal. Like, I'm like number 20 on the call sheet.

I haven't seen the show also. But do you know, do you know my friend Sarah Ramos? Of course. I love Sarah. She's my friend. She's my friend. I've noticed since 16.

Fuck. Yeah. Sarah, I've been on since season one. She came in like season two. You know Andrew Lopez? Yeah, I know, Andrew. The God? Yeah, Andrew's my dog.

We ate Taco Bell late one night at a whole time. After this past season, there was like a night they let us go to like, they got us like a nice dinner or whatever. Was it from my cousin's restaurant? No, it was Shaws, I think. Oh, my. And then it was so good. But then we late night, I came home at like two or three in the morning. I was fucked up.

And then I saw him in the lobby. And somebody just left their Taco Bell. Like there was a Taco Bell. And we looked at the time and we're like, oh, shit, it's been sitting here for like three hours. And we fucking ate that shit And it was disgusting That's a beautiful story for us That is nice

But it was like there for three hours No one's coming It's gonna go in the garbage We gotta eat this It gets better the longer it sits also Where were we? Four seasons holler I love the Chicago four seasons It's connected to a mall

It is connected to a mall The only reason I got to stay there Is because Nikki Glazer put me up there Because she's so rich Yeah I never I never said it A four seasons of my life The bear be putting you up there Okay, wait, and this is going to make or break us.

Let me check my IG real quick. Okay, yeah, go ahead. Oh, well, you know there's nothing out there. Do you know what I'm going to ask him? What? Have you been to Pita Inn? Oh. PETA in, no.

Oh, you shouldn't have said that. Oh, no. Well, Esther, you have to understand. Esther rides hard for Skokie. That's her spot. But most Chicagoans go to Skokie for Pita in. Oh, my God. Skokie's such a joke.

No, come on. It's like the hot thing. Everyone from Chicago treats me. I'm not surprised. I expect this. Skokie gets a lot of shit. I expect this in Chicago people. If I'm being real, like I literally know nothing about Skokie.

People hate on it. It's very easy to hate but they don't know. The name is so goofy. Exactly. And I'm like, okay. That's what it is. It's a name. You're going to ride it for Skokie.

Skokie has amazing historical significance. I will be the mayor one day. And you, you'll see. It was the hotbed of civil rights activism? Not all. Kay March. Some civil rights stuff. Yeah, the bad stuff.

No, no. Chicago was hell racist. Yeah, that's true. When Martin Luther King marched through Illinois, after going through the South, and they went through like Cicero, Illinois, he was like, it's the worst we've seen it. It was bad.

That was when my dad was teaching school, and he told me he had to be. Yeah, my family's from Cicero. It's embarrassing. He said that when he was there, they had the National Guard had to, like, walk him into his job. Yeah, it's crazy.

Chicago's wild. That's like what happens when Esther and I roll up to the Four Seasons mall. The National Guard's like, let's go. Let's go. I love Chicago. I just had to say that one last time. I just, I'm so jealous of you guys for being from there. She's sponsored by the city of Chicago.

You're jealous of us? Some of the worst things happened to me there. I have horrible memories of college, but I love Chicago. I just, I'll never get over. It makes you, the whole thing about it is like, everybody's always like, New York's tough, New York's tough. And then I moved like from Chicago to New York and lived in New York for a while. And I was like, everybody in New York is so welcoming and inviting.

And it was like, wait, Chicago people are mean. I agree. Chicago is tough. Like, I don't know who the fuck. People are like Southwest Hospitality. No, or whatever Midwest Charm. What do they call it? Charm.

I think both of those are a thing. Whatever. But like New York, I was like, oh shit. Like New York is like built my self-esteem up. I feel like it's like real people. Yeah. Okay. I have a theory.

And I want you guys to stick with me on this. Please be honest. I feel that when I'm in. Chicago, I feel that I'm like literally so ugly men never see me. Like I've, was never hit on. I just was just another another one of those. In LA, I feel so much more attractive because I feel like I'm different and I stand out more. So opposite because when I go to Chicago, I'm like exotic for them. Not really. But I feel like I get way more male attention in Chicago. Yeah, it's like we're like a different and different Western girl when you come here.

Interesting. Yeah. And to hear, they're like, another Jew. Persian bitch, like kick her to the side. We don't fucking don't care about her. I feel like I get. Where do you get hit on my men more? I feel like women are more interested in me in L.A. in New York and not in Chicago. Because you're famous.

But Chicago people don't give a fuck about artists. They want like finance and like that. They're like really like weird. Because like Chicago is interesting. It's like the people that move to the city. It's like from all these other like Midwestern like Indiana, Michigan, Ohio. And their interests aren't like being in like whatever we're doing. When I lived in Chicago, I was like, I will never meet someone.

I will never. I was like, I'm going to die alone. Like that was my mentality for, that's why when I moved to L.A., I dated the first person that hit on me who unfortunately happened to be Tony Hinchcliffe. But we all call that ended. Do your viewers know that? Everybody knows that. She talks about it.

Kill Tony? She brings up here and there. Are you still boys with him? We have a dog. but does Dave approve of this Dave loves it is Dave and Kill Tony friends they have not met what do you think

they couldn't be more I honestly want well they couldn't be more different but Dave is also such an understanding guy where he'd be like not this time is like a highly evolved Harvard educated super super intelligent well-read guy kill Tony is like

abrasive and racist I can't believe I'm not going to get a staffed on Kill Tony now. Fuck. There goes that job too. Okay, one last Chicago food thing and I swear, then I swear we can move on. We have to go, right,

how long are we at? We're done. This is like literally my favorite episode. Wait, we didn't do any of this shit. We skipped those here. We didn't talk about my movie coming out. No, no, no. It's honestly.

We don't have to talk about that. No, unfortunately, we just don't have time. We're just out of time. You want 15 seconds starts now. Shit. Okay, yeah, we go right now. Time's up. All right.

Straight up, this movie is written by John Reynolds. Oh, shit, really? Okay, wait, that's actually cool. Wait, okay, now we're interested. Why didn't you talk about this before? It's with me, John Reynolds, Gary Richardson, Sophia Black, Delia. Say them all with your chest. I don't know.

It's about a bunch of, and Joe Firestone, it's about a bunch of 35-year-olds who have to go back and finish their last semester of high school. It's really stupid and really funny. If you're into, like, dumb, goofy shit, like, city. That's an amazing cast. This is the movie. Like, this is, like, it's just stupid and funny. The fact that it was written by John Reynolds, like, you know it's good. There you go.

We'll be watching. And I'm up in that thing. And if you guys mess with this podcast, oh my God, wait so you see this. I don't, I'm so sick as promoting. Keep going. Don't stop. Don't stop. You just had it in the pocket.

If you think that this episode of this podcast is good, dude, this movie is crazy. This is my aziz. Say work, work, mama. So basically this podcast is up there. Compared to the movie. No, this podcast has been fun as hell. Really? Do you think that I'll be back?

I would love to have you. I don't host it. I would love to have you. Sorry. She's like, I have no say. What took you guys so long to get me on here? I don't know. Actually.

It just kind of, because we took a really long break when I had a baby. I'm also not like a big podcast guy. You don't go on them? I don't get really asked anymore. Do any straight guys listen to this? It's literally, it's very strange. We are half women,

half men. Like we are. Fellas, follow me on social media. Carmen. Yes, Carmen. I'm going on tour soon. I don't know when, but I got goofy videos.

and my shit is ho it's gonna be good wait Caroline you've been on here and you haven't even once promoted your show the business show oh my god yes I did so good thank you so much she literally came up with this show and it sounds sad when Esther describes it came up with it she made it up young gravy know him called Jacob do you know who that is he's oh called Jacob the lawyer Yeah, I saw him at like an Emmy party. He's my cousin. He's not your cousin. What? He is, I'm dead ass.

Where was he at your wedding? My mom's first cousin. We're not close to that. I saw him at an Emmy party like eating the cheese. I saw him at an Emmy party like eating the cheeses. I was like, why is he here? Because he's an amazing businessman. That's cool, but he looked mad.

Or is that just how he looks? Oh, that was racist against Jews. Persians as well. No, he, maybe he was having a bad day or something. He's really cool. No, he seemed cool. But yes, the business center on TikTok. I forgot.

And then I write on stuff that no one ever, it never comes. It's not coming out for years and years. Tell him let's link up. If he wants to make a commercial for his lawyer stuff, I'm down. I have a direct line to him. I can make that happen. But also, I don't know if I actually want to do that. Is your direct line just the number that's on the billboards?

He actually does not answer my tax. Okay. Now we're getting. Now we're getting there. But truth comes out eventually. Sometimes he'll hit me. He'll just call me randomly. Okay.

Really? Like, we've got one of those relationships. Okay. Ever since we've been doing this podcast, I got one. new follower. So I think it's working. That's the magic of the podcast. It's working.

You guys, thank you so much for listening. Thank you to our guests. This has been unhinged. We need part two now. Comment. Sound off if you need part two. Sound off if you need part two,

please. We'll see. Please Carmen is begging. He needs one more follower. And then he said, could you imagine part two work, Mama? We'll see you guys next week with a brand of so.

We miss Kalila. And we'll see her next week. Bye, guys. Later. I don't know. I'm going to be. I'm going to be the

mrs. Thank you. Thank you.