TRASHFUTURE - All Aboard the Atrocity Barge

Episode Date: August 22, 2023

For this week’s free one, we’re discussing a startup that will serve you ads in order for you to crash your car, revisiting some old scam-based friends who will either never suffer consequences or are already stuffed inside a barrel, and examining the state of British politics which creates a cross-party consensus for stuffing asylum seekers into a prison hulk (and patting itself on the back for being so humane). Check out the crowdfunder for the St Mungo’s strike here! https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/unitesmstrike If you want access to our Patreon bonus episodes, early releases of free episodes, and powerful Discord server, sign up here: https://www.patreon.com/trashfuture *STREAM ALERT* Check out our Twitch stream, which airs 9-11 pm UK time every Monday and Thursday, at the following link: https://www.twitch.tv/trashfuturepodcast *WEB DESIGN ALERT* Tom Allen is a friend of the show (and the designer behind our website). If you need web design help, reach out to him here:  https://www.tomallen.media/ *MILO ALERT* Check out Milo’s upcoming live shows here: https://www.miloedwards.co.uk/live-shows Trashfuture are: Riley (@raaleh), Milo (@Milo_Edwards), Hussein (@HKesvani), Nate (@inthesedeserts), and Alice (@AliceAvizandum)

Hello, Trash, future listeners. Before we start the free one, I wanted to take a moment to shout out the Strike Fund for charity workers at St. Mungos, an anti-home listeners charity where workers have experienced a real-terms pay cut of over 25% in the past decade. They've been on strike for three months, and if you want to support them, there's a crowdfunding link in the show notes. Thanks for being a listener, and please enjoy this week's episode. It's the free one. Thank you Milo for your able assistance there. I don't get anything from that. You're welcome. Yeah, so sorry. I'm still blodgy free one. Yeah, he's still up in Scotland. And I have taken my cue as to who I'm

thanking for the free one from the World Chess Federation, if you'll excuse me. Yes, it's a holy fissure. It's not in the notes, but I think I just want to ask, like on what basis would someone's chromosomes give them an advantage in chess? Oh, well, so if you're not familiar with this piece of news on background, the FID, the World Federation of Chess has banned trans women from the women's categories in chess. Why is there a women's category? Well, I can answer that one first. The reason why there's a women's category in chess

is because male chess masters are all the most unbelievable dangers to women. It's up there with the pure mathematics in terms of places where you can sort of sustain yourself while not knowing anything about how to interact with anyone but especially women. Okay. And so, yeah, it was like very unpleasant and hazardous to women to be in chess competitions with male chess players because male chess players are frequently the worst. They invented female cast degrees, which trans women are now banned from. So yeah, because boys are clever and girls are You know, I'm pressing whatever. Yeah, you had to move the rook. You actually have to use a blending brush, apparently. Yeah.

It's very weird. They made that the motto of the World Chess Federation. Yeah. I'm forced now to, like, only play in the women's bracket of the Netflix Queen's Gambit official board game, rather than chess. Yeah. You're going to have to go into the women's only bracket of competitive starcraft, too. I mean, it feels that way. It's a very surreal sensation to find yourself like, okay, I was

never going to take up like professional cycling at an international level, right? So being banned from that, that didn't, you know, obviously it was bad and it felt bad, but it didn't really sort of like, hamper me in that way. Yeah, this is gonna affect way more trans women. What? Chess is a trans women ass activity.

It's going to say, yeah, but it's not that I was gonna, like, take up Chess again exactly. It's more that like, now it's reaching into stuff that is not even a sport, and it's just sort of like stuff that I wasn't even beginning to take seriously. Like it's a surreal experience to find that you can't like, you know, your future athletic career has gone. Fine, whatever. But like to find out that like, now you can never make it in the big leagues of Connect 4.

That's really surreal. Yeah, it's almost like say, well, okay, well, we've had, we're now saying pub quiz. We're segregating it by gender and we're getting really finicky about who goes where? It's bizarre. Yeah. I was doing like pub quiz doping, you know?

Yeah, well, it was just where you have your phone. Yeah, no, no. It's like, quiz doping, you know, yeah, what was that just where you have your phone? It's like you do all of the same stuff as like cycling doping where you have the like legions of doctors You're getting injected with stuff that you made in a lab But like you're threatening all the whistle blows. Yeah, exactly in order to remember you know the date that the French Revolution started for one point Yeah, it's where basically you go to the top of K2 and you get a guy to ask you a bunch of pub quiz questions, which is obviously harder because of the oxygen deprivation. Then you have some blood taken out of you and then right before the pub quiz, you have that blood injected back into you and then it makes you better at pub quiz.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. All right. And also some extra dial for good head. I want to go into our actual sort of planned content we have for today. Now for the synthesizer round, the trans women are going to be asked to leave the room for this bit. So we've, I wanted to share some updates on two old, like two probably of our best friends on this show, not Matt and Patrick Weiman. No, best topics. Patrick, we don't discuss the coming

and goings at Patrick Weiman, at least none of the episodes that I'm on. Like just doing a sort of like fan episode that's largely about Patrick. It's like very uncomfortable to listen to. Yeah, an episode about Patrick was certainly very loud. Yeah, he did arms today. No, I'm about Patrick would certainly be very large. Yeah. He did arms today. No, I'm talking about, I'm talking about the podcast that goes directly to Riley Reid

and the podcast that stalks Patrick. Patrick, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry, but I want to talk about Jan Marseilleck. That's right. Oh, that's a guy we love too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the moral inhabitant. Yeah, Mausolec is back. International Man of History. Yeah, probable neighbor of Gerard Depardieu, Mausolec. Yeah, international cylinder inhabitant. Yeah, Mausolec. So the very much alive,

Jan Mausolec is popped up again, which is a great way to have someone a man who is aspirating. Yeah, has popped up again. And this was sort of shared to me by, by some listeners to the show, a few people have tweeted this at us. Oh, yeah, well, this is one of those when monitoring the situation things.

Oh, yeah, you're looking into it very strongly. So I was looking into it very strongly. And I mean, there's a bit of a longer story about, again, yeah, you're looking into it very strongly. Yeah, so I was looking into it very strongly. And I mean, it's a bit of a longer story about, again, like, a espionage Russian secret intelligence and so on. Yeah, they arrested some Bulgarians on suspicion of being Russian, Russian spies, which is funny. And this one, one guy, Orlan Rusev, has been confirmed as the owner of a signals interception company that provided surveillance equipment to Jan Marseilleck. See, there's a couple of things going on here, but the main one that I'm thinking about

is buying your own spy equipment, seldom a feature of the James Bond movies. You never really had to see Bond and Q's lab fiddling with to get his card out. You know? Well, this would be austerity bonds. Bond now has... Yeah, the schoolteachers are buying pencils and James Bond is buying his own Rolex. So, this is, Rusez provided Marseille with basically equipment, cable and sort of glossing here of calculating locations and connections of other phone subscribers. So, you want to snoop on someone else and avoid being snooped on yourself. Well, that's very boring. Like, you know, there's no concealed explosives.

You know, there's some fire laser. It's just like, oh, we've made you a phone that's slightly better at being a phone. That's one of the main, there are billion sub-themes to the entire Wirecard story. But one of the ongoing ones about Jan Marseillec is just how lame so much international espionage actually is on a day-to-day basis? I'm being very reductive about signals intelligence and cyber security and stuff, because I think it's funny.

But there's this multi-billion if not trillion dollar ecosystem Incorporating huge swath of like intelligent services and criminal organizations and state actors and non-state actors And then you look at what it all involves and yeah, it's you know all of the fun exotic espionage stuff But the operational sense of it is guys texting each other. A thing I've never cared about. The trouble is now that all of these trans women can no longer play chess. They are more focused on intercepting our communications, that gender confirmation headquarters.

So I would really like a shirt or a mug or I don't know, like a mouse pad or something with the GCHQ logo with gender confirmation headquarters. There we go, now it's merch, but let's go. Get a bunch of orders to like forwarding addresses that just go to Cheltenham. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is the new Windbreaker.

You've got the obvious fraud office in Bracer, then you've got gender confirmation headquarters. Yeah, we just do them both at once, and you get a discount if you buy them both at once, that's the deep state pack, you know? So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, things that people intercept are people being, hey, you should look at this. They check this out. Yeah, so the thing is, right, I've recently increased my dosage of estrogen. And as such, it's really like feminizing me in some interesting ways, such as my opinion on the sopranos, breaking bad, any show like this is, man, it's a lot of guys just talking to each other in rooms.

That's kind of how I feel about this now, too. It's like, oh, it's just boys texting each other. I don't care. Shout out. They're in the back of the pork store. They're talking about wire cars. Pretty much. They're shaving the pig.

They're in the back room of a Bulgarian surveillance equipment company in Hanzlo. It's like, okay. Bulgarian surveillance equipment feels like it's a bit in the category of like Glasgow kiss. Well, like Bulgarian surveillance equipment would just be like a huge magnifying glass that you like, comically follow a guy around. Do it. So, Rusev mentioned the companyian surveillance equipment is like a big pair of headphones hooked into the like handle of a long umbrella. Oh, no. And then the listening device is the umbrella goes reverse and it looks like it's blown up with the wind

and they use pointed it where you wanna listen. Parabolic. Clever. Clever. It says, and they already placed an order for a quote exceptionally durable phone with exotic features. And and and and gave Marcel like exotic device, but it's just a Samsung push button phone with anti surveillance phone firmware that could track other mobile phones.

Close to 007. If you press this button here and here, large quantity of explosives will detonate in a Samsung Galaxy Tab. Thank you. I noticed that there was Bulgarians on the plane, but it was just someone trying to charge their Samsung Galaxy S. It also, it's like, I want Jan Marselect to have been like given the physics from just cars. Like, I don't want it to just have like a phone that's extra good. Yeah, but also he still would have had to buy it himself. Yeah, but he can. It's like, yeah, no, fully, but like going to work like I have put just infinite parachutes. It's like,

because the other thing is he's not a spy. No, at least not in that sense. He's not like employed by the Russian government like the Bulgarian guy is. He's just like, he's an agent, he's an asset, and he's buying his own shit. That's embarrassing. I had to buy this very expensive phone

because of my lifestyle. You see, it's very hard to get signal inside of an oil drum. It's like a final dayackage. The thing is- The Faraday Barrow. It reminds me, what Jan Marseillec reminds you of, and his, because if you look back in the on Marseillec story, it's a guy who is clearly ridiculously excited

to have been contacted by Russian intelligence, right? This is true. This is a guy with the best finally lit love me. Yeah, like the best day of his life is where he got to feel like a spy. And like he went to Libya with all the Gucci gear, they would just get him shot immediately. Oh no, Syria with all the Gucci gear.

He bragged about having the recipe for NaviTruck to impress. So he didn't want to be a spy. He wanted to have been a spy. Yeah, it's not a night jello, is it? That one, like the ingredients are quite hard to come by. Deliciously simple Novachot. I mean, who's got a good Asian grosser near you?

It's worth a visit to get the right stuff for Novachot. Some people try and approximate it with KN Pepper, but it's really worth getting the real gear. Yeah, if you can't find, sort of like Colin and I just compound store bought is fine. But like, whoops to mongers, we would all be like this. Maybe not with the Russians necessarily, but if someone was like, you know, made you an offer to go be a super spy and you know, you at a hundred percent take that offer, purely to be like, no, it was crazy.

They gave me, you know, special devices. They gave me the cool watch, but they don't give you the cool ones. No, exactly. My point, you would be disappointed because it turns out you just have like a phone. Yeah. You know, it has an app on it that, you know, lets you like spy on men slightly more interestingly. It's like, yeah, boo. Let's be a nudge. I have another one. So on a sailor's gay sauna has this app. It's B&Age. I have another one. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel.

I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel.

I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel.

I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I'm so on a chantel. I had another quick news hit for us up at the front Before we do the startup and then get into the main content, which is another best friend of ours Lex Green sill is back in the news one Australian man We really are checking in on our blocs today. These are like some of our favorite if Matt I mean Matt Hancock released a funny TikTok but we'll have to talk about that another time Yeah, because these if it's Marseilleck, it's GreenSill. It's the classics of a phone with some exotic features that has this app called Matt Hancock and Dean's.

It tracks all of the thoughts of one British MP. That's right. Uh, Morning Zoo Sound Effects. We got Lex on deck. It's time to flex the Lex. Uh, so what's the Lex report? So, uh, as the as the ongoing series of lawsuits and insurance finagling over of the collapse of green cells,

it's going to be going on probably for most of our lifetimes. Not finagling. Yeah. And a new piece of information, this is part of a dispute that if you remember, what happened with green cell, what caused it to collapse is that Tokyo Marine, an insurance company, bought their credit insurer and said to the one guy who just authorized way too much credit insurance for all their risky shit. Hey, what was this? And then he immediately quit.

Tokyo Marine is a movie that John Cena will be in eventually. And you know what? I'll watch it. But yeah, anyway, so Tokyo Marine now having, taking on this insurance company now is responsible for quite a bit of like those insurance claims. Now has to like try and avoid paying as many of them as possible. And this is from the FT. It was brought to us of course by, uh, brought to my attention by Robert Smith. Um, uh, Greenstone. So, we call him the Kay Wiggins of the London author.

Greenstone. So, Greenstone call them the Kay Wiggins of the London author. Greenstone Capital charged an unreasonable and excessive fee for arranging financing for NHS building projects and then deliberately avoided disclosing this facts. Now, getting into the actual nitty-gritty of what this was has a kind of funny conclusion. So, the reason that the insurance company would argue this is if it was unreasonable and wasn't like supported, it did no business justification, then they could say, well, we're not paying out the claim because this was clearly fraudulent. So basically, they're arguing that green sill is responsible for misrepresentations and non-disclosures in relation to financing for catfoss, a company engaged in building a bunch of NHS hospitals to route Derby, Dorset, and Essex, Milo's beloved Essex.

And- Oi, oi, p'i, la gai! And, he used the first thing that I thought was incredible. But it wasn't so lucky for them. Adam Curtis voice. For 15.3, a 15.3 million pound lending facility, catfoss paid green sale at 10.4 million pound fee. Oh, I mean, you don't need that money to build the hospital as the main thing.

Well, Alice, it's funny you say that because you literally don't. That green sale in one case was continuing to advance funds and get those funds insured, like those advances insured, even though that particular NHS trust had been completed years previously in January 2019, well before the collapse. So they were billing to build a built hospital?

Well they were billing to finance the construction of a built hospital, yes. That sounds so legal. I don't, look, I'm not a legalist, but I don't think it is maybe, I'll defer to the lawyer. Listen, I think that maybe this is as, you know, someone who's having some legal troubles of his own, President Trump once said, I think this is very legal and very cool.

It clearly like raises no question. So just be... Everything in this country is scams. And next week or so, when you're on sabbatical, I'm left to do an episode. I plan to talk about some scams and the sort of scam-based economy. This is just another one on the pile. It's not even a particularly egregious example at strikes. It's like, it's the, I think this wouldn't even be egregious.

This shows how the state that we're in, I think, that this is just sort of work a day, just defrauding the health system or whether by hugely overcharging a fee that's two thirds of the structuring fee that's two thirds of the value of the loan or just continuing to structure finance and take fees for a construction process that's already been completed. That's so small potatoes, but just the fact that every time I think about something to do with green sill, I think about the fact that the guy who was the main sort of hope of one of the parties to retain, the two major parties to retain relevance, like David Cameron was so embroiled in this and just nothing happened. The horse of the machine.

Yeah. I will say this, this is only a seventh of a captain Tom in terms of like the house of the machine. I will say this, this is only a seventh of a captain Tom in terms of the amount of money it's taking. It's affecting on the NHS. But it's the pure normalization at the highest levels of just sheer, sheer simple draft. That's one thing, but the demand that you don't look at it is the galling thing.

The fact that ever since we talked about Green Sill, I checked every week for if anyone who had written anything about it outside the niche financial press. And the fact is, it was just time after time. It was just a, that puff piece in BBC Lancashire about how he flew a woman to Germany for experimental cancer treatment on his private jet.

Well, all this shit was going on. It was just not, you couldn't see it. There was no one interested in seeing it really, outside a small group of obsessive weirdos, of which we were like. That's the kind of like wealth, density, that sort of like bends light around it. You know?

You know, and you mentioned the sopranos earlier, Alice. It's like, yeah, swap out a business suit for a trax suit and a big sandwich. And this is just a scene from the sopranos. You know, oh, yeah, we're, what if an Australian man was Italian American? Yeah, what if that? Our bloody international financial scheme has been brought down by those people over at the TransFem podcast. I just felt like a TransFem podcast if you have one TransFem and I say like start like transitioning more of you. Maybe it's like, I was basically just building on the gender confirmation HQ by taking the TF podcast, the anatomy of a joke. Well, maybe it's, we could say that it's like French rules

for referring to gender in a group, or if there's one man in a group, it's okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one trans-feminial podcast makes it all mixed and applies the feminine pronoun to the podcast. So the joke works if you apply French grammar. So the joke works if you apply French grammar. So the joke works if you apply French grammar. If you reply the reverse of French grammar. Yeah. So if you apply a mirror

image of fr- we should all go and only connect. Yeah. I think we would do really well. Yeah. Look, anyway, that's the green cell optic catfoss, by the way, is a whole other thing, right? It's sort of went out of business. I mean, it has use of force for a while. But it has such a great business model of not building hospitals. I mean, we're not building hospitals all the time. I'm doing that right now. Yeah, that's a huge issue.

So we make pretty much a money out of it. Yeah, exactly. You know, statistically speaking, most British people, most of the time and not building hospitals. I'm thinking of following my dad into not building hospitals, but I just don't want to be like another person who's just not building hospitals. I believe they did build the couple hospitals, but they were,

I think ruined by the green something. I looked less into cat fast, but they seemed like a whole building some hospitals is an even more interesting area of the economy. Like, I don't habitually build hospitals, but I've built a couple. I mean, who's that? I guess it. Yeah. I dilute on hospital builder.

I'm a sort of gifted amateur, you know. Going down to the shed on the bottom of the garden to build a little hospital. Yeah. Yeah. Guy who looks like George R.R. Martin, whose thing is building hospitals in his spare time. Yeah, you remember when your dad used to like, have to move an entire MRI machine

and like an intensive care ward into the shed to finish out his hospital and that? Look, I don't want to go into CADFAS now. It might be worth going into a more detailed later time, but I want to ask you to about four dot screen. Four dot screen. Four dot screen. We could act people in a fragmented world.

Interesting. I mean, we've already had the literally a bunch of phones taped together thing, and that wasn't even four screens. That's like five. So it can't be that in a sort of like closer physical sense. What do we think? How about this? My little before you guess, I'm going to say what their values are.

This will probably clear it right up. I'm sure it will. What we believe, think big and be bold. We have ambitious goals and take bold decisions. Two, what are those goals you might ask that are not stated? Well, the goal is to take the driver's seat. We take ownership's drive for excellence and apply best practices. And then it's called four screen and then it says four, the digit four, everyone.

We've, we value our diversity and proactively help each other to succeed while having fun and celebrating progress. Also, at this point I've been hit with a horrible, horrible hunch. I'm I'm struggling my big detective trench car. Okay, go ahead. You got your Bulgarian surveillance equipment with you. That's right. When you use the expression, the driver's seat, was that in the car? Yes, yes it was. This is in car something. That it is. Yes, it is in-car something. It was a literal driver's. Does it like put a screen like in your steering wheel instead of in your center console?

Not the steering wheel. How about this? Let me tell you two more things. Number one, it's a German company. And it touts as it's one of its investors, Matthias Muller. It's the screen. Right. It touts as it's one of its investors, Matthews Muller. It's the year screen. Right, yeah. It was, it was,

it touts as one of its investors, Matthew, Matthias Muller, who was CEO of Volkswagen until 2018. Inventor of the corner. Yes, okay. I wonder what scandal could have possibly, anyway. Well, I heard actually he'd got a lot of family obligations and needed to take more time to spend with them.

When he needed to go and visit his cousin and now lives in that barrel, ain't rush. No. For fourth one, four wins. We succeed by adding sustainable value to all four players who are drivers, mobility partners, businesses, and ourselves. We connect.

Is it? It adds on the outside of your car, like a taxi. I'm gonna just give this to Alice. You've seen the in-car screen that you use to navigate, right? It puts ads on the inside of your car. That's right. No, what? What?

No, you can't. But you're trying, like, at least in a black cab, right, where they have the ad screens. It's like, oh, have you considered getting a black cab? And you go clearly, yes, because I am in one. Like, the guy driving it isn't seeing those, but if you're just in a regular normal style car, then it's like hooked to the center console thing,

which is already extremely distracting, then you would be, you'll get mad, this like, have you considered driving a car for the car already driving? And you just sort of like plow into a wall. Yeah, well maybe you should have considered driving. It's sort of more like a bully. Like, have you considered driving a car?

Nice drive, no drive. And you plow it in. Yeah, and then you start thinking about driving a different car and you crash your car into the wall. Alice, I want to respond to what you've said, with the fact that they create truly connected cars for seamless journeys and bring to life a network of businesses, drivers, and mobility partners.

So you might want to reconsider. What journeys have scenes? Yeah. Yes. What is a scene? Is that stopping for a piss? It's sort of like any intermodal journey, I would say, as a Seemed journey. If you have to like get off a train to get on a tram,

that's a seam. If you have to change trains, probably a seam. But it depends on what if, what if, what if, hear me out here, what if you had to fill up your car without stopping at the wild bean cafe and you had to stop at a lesser petrol station? How about that?

Oh, I thought you were going to imply some kind of inflight refueling system for cars. I know that we're going to drive along this. I'll show you how to drive. Yeah, drive the tanker in front of me and like spool the hose out. Yeah, that'd be sick. I hate going to the petrol station.

They should bring that in. So, I'm going to tell you a bit about how it works, right? So auto makers can implement the new four screen API into their infotainment systems to provide drivers with a broad variety of value added services. Businesses, meanwhile, log on to the portal, set up campaigns, and have real-time communication with drivers through a platform. I genuinely would have rather this were my original idea of it's ads on the outside

of the car. That would have been somehow less intrusive to me. Imagine, imagine like you're on like a five lane round about in like outer London and you're trying to see the navigation while navigating the round about. And then like it's, the screen is filled with a pop up that says, like, Milf's in your area hungry for calm. Well, this is like you should have subscribed to car premium in order to not know that there are horny milfs in your area. Yeah, that's all right.

I hate when it keeps changing the navigation thing so that my destination is horny milfs. Oh, what can I keep having this API? It says this, excuse me, this VPN, where it says that there are Bulgaria and horny milfs in my area where I clearly said Hounds low. So, they said, through our platform, you have your disposal data that's smarter connected cars generate. This is you, the advertiser. Whether it's location, brand, class, or engine type, this information is available for

your awareness goals. And our strategic partnership managers are always available to recommend to you the best strategy. So basically, the screen takes all of the information that your car generates, which if you go back to any of our episodes of Victoria Scott, is a fuck ton. Everything.

Everything. And then turn it into something that will allow you to be more effectively targeted by ads for I assume, petrol stations, but my low analysis, your idea of milves is also complete. Ben Linus, kitchen knives. It seems you're driving out to the woods a lot. Just the algorithm really detecting that I drive

in a sort of like, milk-desiring fashion. So it's a location. You're driving at low speed past an all bar one. It looks like you're cruising from elves. So they say, how does it work? So they say it's in first technology platform designed to connect, interact, and engage with drivers through live content on the in-car screen.

It has location-based solutions, which means ads will pop up based on where you are. And they increase brand visibility and customer engagement by reaching an exclusive target audience of it is assumed, people who are driving new enough cars that the cars now have native ads. Yeah, people who want to fuck Melf's.

Yeah, I mean, listen, everyone wants to fuck Melf's, but I don't want this. Like on a personal level, this makes me very uncomfortable. Well, yeah, because it's just say, hey, what if that thing that in order to use, you have to sort of take your attention off of the road in front of you while you barrel down it in the big metal bullet. What if you looked away from it and what if your attention was pulled away from the road intentionally? What about them?

Yeah, great. That might be missing out on deals if I didn't do that. Yeah, well, they would say that what they do is enhance the overall driving experience. Milo, as a frequent driver, do you wish that your car navigation and infotainment stream was designed to enhance the overall driving experience and connect to you or connect to you, excuse me, with the environment around you in real time? Hi, Riley. First of all, let me just say it's an honor to be asked on the podcast.

I would say all of the time, I think when you're driving a car, it really enhances the experience to be told where local milfs are or which gardens and has a sale. Or perhaps if crypto wolves could enhance your experience of the internet. Yeah, it's going to be ads, but it's like all the ads on Twitter promoted ads. Yeah, yeah. It's going to be anabolic dwarfs. Yeah, yeah. It's gonna be anabolic dwarves. Yeah, that's right. Anabolic, you're just, your GPS is rerouting you to anabolic doors and you're like, oh,

no, no, no, no, not again. I'm sitting still in traffic, but the distance to the anabolic doors is decreasing, right? Yeah, yeah. You've got a huge dent in the front of your car and you take it into BMW and they're like, yeah, now that looks like anabolic dwarves. Sorry mate, the warrant is void. You can't do nothing with that. Well, they're anabolic, you see. Where a regular dwarf wouldn't be as much of an issue, but it is in the owner's manual that the car is not resistant to anabolic

dwarves. So, yeah, I mean, if you were, if this were Japanese guy, you'd probably be all right, but no. So they also say that FAQs, what value does it add for equipment manufacturers, i.e. auto manufacturers? Connected cars generate billions of data points, which auto manufacturers are unable to fully leverage to which I would say, good, they're my data points. I would like to use them, please. So, oh, you have little face, you know, if you think that they're not able to leverage these things effectively.

This means that every vehicle on the road is a business opportunity that can create added value for automakers and drivers. Where car manufacturers can finally use these data points bridging the communication gap between drivers and their surroundings. As a frequent driver, do you wish that something would bridge the communication gap between you and your surroundings that didn't assess, tell you, rolling down the window and shouting? Right, I'd like to just say, first of all, thank you very much for asking me on the podcast. And yes, I routinely think, what if you could use the infotainment system in your car to connect to the infotainment system in another driver's car and call them a fucking whanker who should learn to drive? I actually do think this, that would be the one service, I would use.

Yeah, sort of like doing like watchdog style, like car hacking. Yeah, exactly. I just really want to salute Milo Edwards for coming on and like, racking up the number of guest appearances that we've had per episode, you know? Yeah, yeah. Because it's only been one, but now we're up to two. I'm in the lounge with Wyman now. Yeah, you guys got lampshades on your heads.

So it says, yeah, me and him are making a podcast about Riley. This offers a next level driving experience with improved navigation and relevant recommendations will monetize the data. Finally, the driver's experience is at the real core for us. Our API is seamlessly integrated in the navigation system when our communications follow all privacy and security regulations. I love when an advertiser thinks about me. I hate...

We follow, yeah, and what they say about you is, we are obliged not to break the law. Yeah, we follow all the privacy regulations, depending on your jurisdiction. If you're in America, good luck. Well, here's what it does for drivers. Is that because I'll give you, I've been mostly talking about the FAQs of this company

because it's really funny to try to watch them twist and pirouette around. We found another way to compel people to be spied on. Would you like to monetize that for your gas station? I'm not just being spied on, but combining that with a sort of like a startup that flashes a torch in the eyes of like one person and a hundred driving and you give them a minute, you know?

Yeah, and the startup is called laser pen and it's a thing that attaches to your car and for a tamer system and it shines a laser pen directly into your eyes while you're going 80 miles an hour on the motorway. Yeah, but it's a, it's a Morse code to subliminally get you to turn off into the services and have a Toby Carvery.

Yeah, yeah, it's actually to discourage speeding. The faster you go, the more lasers it shines into your eyes. It's so lethal. And we can't see any problem with it. Or we're trying to combat speed it. We can't see any problem with it, Or trying to combat speed it. We can't see any problem with it, or indeed anything at all. That's right.

Blurry haze. Yeah, it gives you laysick while you're driving. Drivers can easily find and interact with their favorite brands or services and receive customized offers from businesses along the route. Never before have drivers been able to explore the car surroundings and discover relevant content as they do now

It's got windows you can look out of the way you can carry a map around Do you know even on your phone you can generally get a sense of what's you don't need Like if you drive past a Taco Bell do you need your car infotainment system to activate Taco Bell mode and Screech the words Taco Bell out of every speaker at maximum volume until he pull over, like, get out of the car clutching your head and like fall into the Taco Bell insensible. You're outside Taco Bell, the milfster we're navigating you towards, maybe hungry for calm, but perhaps they're also hungry for a little snack from Taco Bell. So, TN.

So, they say that they Taco Bell is a brand that believes in living milk. Well, that's right. What are the add types that they offer? They offer four solutions from which you can include choose to increase brand awareness and customer engagement. Branded pins integrated onto the maps of navigation screens that automatically display your logo. We made maps slightly harder to use, gotcha.

So you search petrol station and then like all the shell ones are giant? Like I can't remember if I've told you. You search petrol station and the map is crowded out with Taco Bell. I can't remember if I've told this story on the podcast before. So please do not tell me if I have, I'm not interested. That I once flew on my low and Patrick Wyman are gonna get your ass on that podcast. That I once flew Etihad Airways to go to Shanghai.

And there was a stopover in Abu Dhabi because Etihad is like the Emirates National Airline. It's the Abu Dhabi one that's based in the capital. And on the in flight information system on Etihad, there are only two cities in the UAE visible, Abu Dhabi and Dubai. Dubai has just a small dot, then Abu Dhabi has a big star. It's like they put a big middle finger to Dubai specifically on the Etihad in flight screen. Yeah, and it's going to be like this. You're going to like, ultimately, you want to go to Dubai specifically on the Etihad inflate screen. Yeah, and it's going to be like this.

You're going to, like, ultimately, you want to go to Dubai, right? And so we haven't given you a map of anything near where you're driving. What you've given you is a map of the world that has a big star pin for Dubai. That's right. Yeah, exactly. You keep getting pulled on to the channel tunnel to start driving to Dubai. So the rivalry between Abu Dhabi and Dubai is so funny. It's like a rivalry between like two members of blue.

Like, yeah, I'll fuck off Anthony Costa. You're not a real musician, not like me, Duncan James. Like, it's like, you're Abu Dhabi and Dubai. You both suck. Get over it. Yeah, Abu Dhabi doesn't have the rich vein of like long-lasting culture and taste that Dubai has. Dubai has never had the city on lockdown.

Actually, can I, a brief sidebar about when I fly on Emirates, my favorite thing about Emirates is they have in-flight podcasts, which play automatically when you connect your headphones to the infotainment system. And so while I'm choosing a movie or whatever, you end up just listening to the, but they're all like puff pieces about Dubai, where it'll be like a guy with a very BBC voice, doing a very serious interview, with a guy called like Wank Nostrop, who's been in charge of opening like Dubai's first ever

Michelin star hot dog stand. And he is like, So why did you want to bring this really exciting project to Dubai? And he's like, well, I love Dubai because it loves the future. And it loves anything that's pushing boundaries. They're not stuck in the past unless what you mean is to do with laws and women's rights. But broadly speaking, they're in the future and they want things like a hot dog with a phone. This is something you can do in Dubai. And this is why people come from all over the world to taste a hot dog that a phone. This is something you can do in Dubai and this is why people come from all over the world

to taste a hot dog that really, it makes you confused. He's like, thank you so much. I'm not even exaggerating like this is what they're like. Like I wish you could download them because we could do a whole series where we just review the Emirates airline podcasts. Like that's so fucking interesting. We should try and get hired. We gotta try and get them to like, buy us that. series where we just review the Emirates airline podcasts. Like, that's so fucking interesting. You do really?

We should try and get hired. We gotta try and get them to like, uh, buy us out. Or at least do like a tour to somewhere that Emirates flies. And then we can just, that that can be the tour. Australia, the live show content. It's just a review of the Emirates. Like, I will spend, listen to all of the Emirates podcasts and transcribe.

Okay, new Australian tour idea. TM can't do it copyright. Yeah, we just try and like the corporate mooch era. I've been trying to gin this up on Wadashifrog and as well, I've been trying to bully the tourism board of San Diego into giving me a free holiday. So if we can combine those two, then we can get our Emirates flight from London to San Diego. Yeah, you can check out the Lamair Arach. find those two. Then we're going to get our Emirates flight from London to San Diego. Yeah. Check out the Lumber of San Diego. All right.

All right. I want to finish this up and then get into the main stuff. Search ad makes your brand appear as a top search result in the in-car location search list. So they basically, you can use the in-car search function to look for a business category they need. Then you just pay to put yourself at the top of the list. You're in the car, you search restaurant, it shows you talk about you search, the hospital it shows you talk about. It shows you the hot dog stand in

Dubai. Yeah. I'll also then get recommend, also like if your fuel gets low, then an ad will pop up being like, hey, consider Shell, or what, consider talk about for your refueling needs. Hey, consider Shell or what consider Taco Bell for your refueling needs. And then also sometimes legally, we can't tell you that if you squeeze a volcano brewery so into the petrol tank, it will continue to run faster if anything. Yeah.

Yeah, you're giving your car the shit. Or your car's like, oh, buddy, I shouldn't have eaten that. In-car solution, in-car offers you to... See, I've played myself here because we were making fun of corporate product placement and now I've just really made myself one talk of all. And probably at least a couple hundred other people. Yeah, genuinely.

It's in your mind, Dallas. The calls are coming from inside that house. It's almost as if I'm constrained by a sort of invisible structure of capitalism. Last one, last one. That's why in Dubai, we've built this huge structure, strained by a sort of invisible structure of capitalism. Last one, last one. That's why in July, we've built this huge structure, but it's completely invisible.

They actually built the super structure from... Yeah, that's right, yeah. They built the vampire castle. The world's first real vampire castle in Dubai. In-car offers like to point your business and communicate deals to your customers via their screen. The solutions are displayed to the driver when the car is turned on or after an interaction

with a branded pin or search result. You can use them to offer vouchers or discounts that are displayed in the Incar screen. So yeah, it's like, if you click an ad once, then it was pop up, you know, again, with like, hey, check this out. Well, this has been a horrible experience. Thanks so much.

Oh, yeah. There was January 1 of the Jibai podcast was about something called the Museum of the Future that they've built in Dubai. And here's like, then it was this guy being like, you see, because other cities, they're very focused on the past, which is why they have regular museums. But why people come to Dubai because we love the future. And that's why we've built this museum of the future. And honestly, it's one of the most visited sites in Dubai.

The tickets are booked up for the next three months in advance. So if you want to visit the museum of the future, please do book. And it's just like, but what can possibly be in there? Like flying car model, you know? A bunch of like failed means to live. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I'd love to go to Dubai to sort of have a horrible time and sort of question the vibe, but you know,

there are a few reasons why that might be not a great idea for me right now. I want to go there and open up a fish restaurant. Exactly. I'm an expert. Exporting the like glassweige and fish and chip shop to Dubai. I think they'd really get a kick out of it. So Mr. Begby please tell me why are you so passionate about bringing the deep ride Mars bar to Dubai? Well, I think people in jibbe have always loved experiment or fusion cuisine and so we've taken the traditional tempura batter of Japan and applied it to the British Mars bar. Anyway, that's four screens. And boy is four screens for me and probably for you. At some point when you eventually buy a car

that was made this year. Every new car sold with an orb. Yeah, it's just a sort of a flat orb. You have to like put the orb into the passenger seat in like a baby seat. I've got to go to the car oil to get the full screen taken off my BMW. So I'm afraid it's time for another one of the trademark TF jarring shifts in tone. Oh boy. Yeah. As we begin the Dubai podcast. No, I'm afraid Jarring Shift in tone the other way. As we talk about the conclusion to what the press has decided to call small boats week and the Tories focus on basically being as cruel to refugees and asylum seekers as possible.

To please the five percent of people whose preferences are actually listened to in British politics because the rest of what is appropriate to look at has been completely ossified. Yeah, and they've somehow, even on their own extremely favorable terms, managed to fuck it up. And this is why Labour's like a thing is we're going to deliver all of the same horrors, but managed competently because the Tories are not managing them competently. Have you ever wondered what if your horrors were better managed? Would you like to consolidate all of your horrors into one easily manageable monthly horror? What we're doing is we're failing

to imagine the man-made horrors and as such they remain resolutely within our comprehension. Small Boats Week is a particularly vulgar expression. I have to say. That episode of Bake Off was a really strange experience. So I'm going to give a little bit of background here. I'm going to give a little bit of background here for our non-British listeners, which is that the conservative government has decided to, because housing people in terrible, like, flea bit and bedbug, unhygienic hotels at great cost to councils, because councils aren't funded to have dignified, welcome centers for refugees, obviously.

That had proven to be too expensive and got daily mail readers and extremely high dungeon. And so of course the government's decision was to do that. Their blood pressure is already like fucking compressed gas. But because part of it was genuinely that if you say hotels, your average like newspaper reader in this country, imagine some sort of like five star jacuzzi thing, because they've never stayed in a hotel in Britain. Yeah, if you have stayed in a hotel in Britain, say for instance, for your working comedian,

you are aware that almost universally they are shit. Yeah, it's a plate glass building with a conveyor belt toaster underneath the portrait of Henry VIII for some reason. Lucky if you get that, I mean, like so much of this is just sort of keeping nominally like one and two star hotels that are just like former B&Bs in business despite their lingering like mold issues or whatever. And like genuinely it's been okay. So like stashing people who have escaped, you know, the worst torches imaginable in, you know, like a terrorist house in, you know, Hastings or whatever, it was just like some sissy, some like some town

that just happens to have hotels there because no one is staying in them. And just going, yeah, that's, that's, that's a sector of the industry now. We can just do that. That's hospitality. Well, taking people who have escaped the worst torches imaginable and to add insult to injury, making them stay in a British seaside hotel. Yeah, genuinely. Well, that is true. The point of this is to add insult to injury. Right. The second worst torture available. But right, and that many of these hotels are unsanitary. They are often infested. And even then, like not to provide an extremely like obvious target to the far right Absolutely fuck with everybody's mental health to the point that as we had in Glasgow

We're like someone who's being like housed in one of these hotels went on a stabbing spray And for the first five minutes afterwards no one knew whether like that had happened or whether it was like a terrorist attack no one knew It's like absolutely dismal. One thing that the government and the media are rice about is that this is intolerable, but not for the reasons they imagine. They believe it's intolerable because we're spending too much money because Bob and Jane Hotelier in Hastings have realized oh, I'm gonna be booked completely full from the government forever, which is not price sensitive.

So I can say all of these rooms are 400 pounds a night. And that, okay, we have to do it. Because the local- Great British business system that we know and love. Well, indeed, kind of. And so anyway, in order to respond to that, the government has commissioned a barge that used to have like offshore oil workers or has housed

various different people before, usually people who are working working somewhere and so are there for like an evening. Yeah, like oil rig work and stuff. Like I'm not famed for their quality of life, but also, you know, work for, you know. They get paid a lot. They get paid like 700 trillion pounds an hour to work for like a month on the rigs

and then come back and like, you know, buy a house in Aberdeen. Like, it's not the same. It's not even remotely comparable. So, in the anyways, this barge has been then sort of, has been procured and stored in Dorset and the idea is instead of renting out all of these one-star hotels up and down the country, the government is just going to sort of performatively have this basically prison ship. That every single right-wing columnist has agreed is like the icon of the seas, but, of course,

redone British. Now, the reason that this is in the news for a number of reasons, number one, because of obviously the sheer inhumanity of it, and I think it's designed to be a policy that sheerly and human because it's supposed to delight Lee Anderson specifically, right, that it's for him specifically. Yeah, because you can't get your your Rwanda flights still because of the lefty lawyers. And so you have to do some some red meat stuff. And so this is the red meat is a prison Hulk. Lee Anderson, who and I talk about this in my show every day once said, my grandfather fought the Nazis and he would be proud to turn back the migrant boats today. So it's good to know that it's a man doing this with a firm grasp on history

and why we did certain things. So the telegraph into basically, now the timeline of this has been a timeline of the commissioning and then loading of the first sort of groups of people onto this boat has established that in fact, like there was a Legionella infection on the boat at the time that people were put onto it. Oh, so they're too good for the Royal British Legion now, are they? One of come to this country,

don't even wanna get Legionnaires disease, like the troops. So the bacteria wearing a tiny a poppy. It was it confirmed basically that the and everyone at that point said, oh, it's the duty of the barge contractors to operate the barge safely. No, it's the duty of the local authority to inspect the barge. No, actually, it's the duty of the home office to ensure the barge is safe. And as per usual, the political questions aren't,

why do we have the fucking barge? It's when did minute, oh, did suella braverman get this email on Monday or Tuesday? It's basically just like an outlook on it as opposed to a question, substantive question of why we have the barge because fundamentally when questioned about it, labor said, well, yeah, we'd have to keep the barge, I suppose. I mean, we have this barge, so what are we going to do? Not use it, but we would not be in all of the stuff that the Tories have done, but, you know, in a slightly nicer gloss on it. We've already bought the barge, so it would be unsudcible, unsurius not to use the barge in some way.

Perhaps we could repurpose it as a Ponton's holiday camp, where people in Britain, who hate fun and enjoying themselves could go and have a very great time, where they ate things such as beans on toast for four meals a day. So, and we talk about like the political questions being asked are who got what email when, to prove sort of gotchas. And ultimately, the game of finger pointing where everyone can say they lived up to their responsibilities, but despite the fact that everyone lived up to their responsibilities, people still were moved onto an unsafe barge,

indicates that everyone's responsibility involves putting people on an unsafe fucking barge, right? That's the implication there. You can sort of like, there is a sort of like a quotidian used this in the sense that like in much the same way as the Rwanda deportations where it's like in order to stop this from being enacted in order to stop it from going on, you have to do this kind of like very annoying missing the point where actually you haven't checked all of the boxes on this

form where you want to do the like brutal thing thing. As a means to an end, sure, that's fine. As a sort of like, locus of public discourse, no one has been saying, oh, you know, this is a national disgrace, right? Which it is. It feels a bit like concentration camp commando at the Neuronberg trials being asked about stuff and going, no, I was technically catering. You would have to ask the Harrison Safety Guy about that. Pretty much. Yeah. I mean, I have a sort of a theory about this, about the overarching politics of this. And indeed, you know, Randa and pushbacks on the channel, all of this, which is, yeah, we've seen this time and time again, the right and the center right that passes for the left that's in politics in this country loves to concede further rightwards. And it really is

just like, there are, I don't want to put a number on, like a small percentage of people in this country who fully just want the camps, who just want death camps and will not be satisfied with anything less. And every single time, every single like, uh, instalment towards that has been them saying, this isn't enough we demand more. And everyone else falling over themselves to go, yes, you're absolutely right. We have to be serious and crack down on this. It's like, that was this sort of browser game years and years ago called QWOP, QWOP. I don't know if you remember this. Oh, I remember. I wasted a lot of time in a lot of classes playing Coup. Yeah, so you had sort of like each limb was mapped to a key and you had to move a guy down like an athletics track and he moved very like ungainly in a kind of very funny way, right?

That's kind of been the process is on the road to fascism. We have been cropping down it by like individually every single like limb of this has been like, yeah, sure let's do this. Let's do some more deportations. Let's do the Rwanda plan. Let's do pushbacks in the channel. Let's do this barge now. And I truly and truly worry for where this is going to take us

as if where it's taking us now isn't bad enough. And it's the, when we talk about where the movement in politics is, right, tortured metaphor that required use of a like browser game, no one remembers. I remember a cop. It's a torture. It's a torture.

We hear in Britain, we don't believe that metaphors deserve to be tortured. But I think that's, that's apps, right? Because what are the things we've noted on this podcast before is that the political energy in this country that is permitted to exist is the political energy on the right. And the disagreement between sort of the center right and the right is how quickly do we rush towards it? And what emotion do we display whilst we do that?

Are we walking towards it sadly or running towards it gleefully? And he was just kind of like tripping towards it, you know, it's kind of like stumbling. Britain is like a surveillance video of a guy on cataman who's forgotten how to walk. I'm playing crop, but I'm doing it and shaking my head. So if people know, I'm doing it solemnly and only because it is the sensible and grown up thing to do, not because I'm enjoying it. I've never actually enjoyed anything. Just ask my wife. So, if we look, I pulled a few quotes about this, right? There's the Leah Anderson one where he says, anyone that's complaining about the standard

of this luxury accommodation, which again, I want to be clear, right? From someone who lived on it, who wrote about it in the National in Scotland, said, look, the rooms I stayed in were like a cabin on a ferry. There was a small single bed. And if you were sharing a room, it would have been with someone doing the opposite shift. The rooms were small and clearly designed for sleeping in, not living in. These are people being forced to live in rooms that aren't designed to be lived in. Or yet, oh, yeah, it has all these wonderful facilities that, again, like the Lionel Shriver

took pains to point out in her a spectator article, but where other people are saying, oh, well, actually, you're very restricted. You can't really go to the lounge. You can't really go to the dining hall. You're very restricted as to when you can leave. And even if you can leave, you can't work and can't get any money. So what the fuck are you going to do? Right?

You're just going to be a sense of polyester in the Queen's Union. And you just have to sit in a 12 by 12 room waiting for an indefinite amount of time essentially just in In-prison effectively in prison a prison where you're technically allowed to walk out But where then the society you get into has been designed as a prison to keep you out of participating in any of it So the idea that this is luxurious is frankly insulting, but is designed to keep this same 5% of people who are the laser focus of everybody into the political mainstream in this country engaged and more importantly insensed so that they'll

demand further movement, that the ship must be worse. Maybe the ship should be, the ship should sink periodically. I don't know. But it's the ship of the ECS, but you can only take bits off of the ship and you're not allowed to put anything back to replace them. Yeah, I mean, mostly I just feel like anyone who believes that any, any sort of like asylum seekers living in luxury, presumably lives in this country, presumably is aware of, you know, the things that happen here. I would struggle to believe that almost anyone, just on the numbers, lives in luxury in this fucking country. How much luxury do we have

going around that you think the government is just dispensing? Well, again, it's crabs in a basket, right? Like the Tory party trades on like, look how shit your life is. And these asylum seekers aren't even being murdered. Look at that. Like, I mean, I think basically, right, there are three positions you can have on this, right? You've got loony unrealistic lefties like us who think that perhaps putting asylum seekers

on a prison ship isn't the way forward. And then you've got the labor party who think that, you know, the asylum seekers should be put on a prison barge, but in a regulated way. And then you've got, like, the 5% of people who are in charge who think that we should put them on a prison ship and then sink it. Like, those are the three opinions that you can have. And this is what Stimer says, right? Well, Stimer, but this is Stephen Kenek, who's the shadow immigration, said, we'll be left with no choice but to deal with the mess that we inherit,

suggesting they wouldn't decommission the barges, and wouldn't give it time-long on when they would. And then James O'Brien saying, look, we have to remember that farmers trying to get elected in a country where people are regularly posting laughing emojis on stories of drowned refugees, without, of course, himself investigating the role of his radio station in why people might be

fucking doing that. And also like since when are we letting those people decide things since when should we and like fucking that's not that many people if you'd like actively poll people on this it's most people are not like this. And it's just absolutely a case of the tale wagging the dog in terms of this kind of extremism. Well, I mean, I say this in my show, if you take the average person in this country and assuming that they haven't had the daily mayor then jacked directly into their brainstem and you ask them the question, what do you think about asylum seekers in the channel?

I don't think their response would be, or I do hope we're drowning them. Like, that's an insane thing to think. Yeah, and the other thing is, everyone knows that that's an insane thing to think. Everyone in every form of media, in every political organization, the conservative party,

I'm not saying that they have a secret better nature, quite the opposite. I'm saying that they know this is insane, almost all of them know better than to believe any of it, but it suits them to maintain power this way by just conceding and conceding. I don't know if that's worse, but it's certainly awful in a different way. A thing which I don't say in the show because it but it's certainly awful in a different way. A thing which I don't say in the show because it would complicate the logic too much, is that in a way that Leanderson can't possibly understand,

he is sort of onto something when he says, my grandfather for the Nazis and will be proud to turn back the migrant boats today because despite what a lot of people who read the Daily Mail think, during World War II, our attitude to Jewish refugees from Europe who are fleeing literal death was much the same. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And the fact that there is so much agreement on stuff like this is why it always really urks me when there are like polls done by newspapers asking which leader of a party would you rather go to dinner with?

Because that's all that's left between them. It's, look, we're gonna have the barge. There's no not having the barge. But you will listen. The question is, which Prime Minister who is currently overseeing the barge, would you hit a save, re-vate with? Yeah, which current candidate for Prime Minister of the UK

would you rather be imprisoned on a prison barge with? Now, I'm feeling like Rishi Sunak would maybe be better at helping you manage your asset which current candidate for Prime Minister of the UK, would you rather be imprisoned on a prison barge with? Now, I'm feeling like Rishi Sunak would maybe be better at helping you manage your asset portfolio, but Keir Starmer, maybe more fun to have a real ale with. I would say to live on the barge with Rishi Sunak both quieter, keeps to himself more, also takes up less space.

So it's gotta be the the rational, rational decision. You could make up Rishi Sunak a little bed inside your suitcase, like, like a, like a foundling. Um, yeah, I love that Terry Pratchett story about the Rishi Sunak who lives in the department store. Um, guys, I can't get out of this suitcase. I mean, thank you for the cozy bed, but it's very hard to climb over the side. I can barely see. I can't reach the port hole Please just I I it's all wrong. It's all backwards Take this out of you know Devon put it up the Thames more at next to the houses of Parliament and make MPs live on it like You do not need an expenses paid London flat if you live on the river adjacent to your work and

apparently it's perfectly adequate getting the barge. Yeah, somehow it's 1500 PCM for a room on that. Yeah, looking for a 20 career as barge landlord. We're just going around like having your rattling your truncheon on the MPs cage. Well, no, sort of like I'm in the bathroom. I'm like pointing at a patch of sort of like green mold. And I'm like, that's not Legionella. Yeah. Well, stop bringing me up about the Legionella on the barge. Look, it's because you're drawing your clothes in your room. So by the way,

I'm saying over the Legionella. Those polls I mentioned, those are real polls, with 33% of people saying surveyed for the mail, said they'd rather go out on the town with Kira Starmer only 25 would go out with Rishi Sunak. Oh, damn. Well, yeah, who would you rather have a Yega bomb or all bar one with? When you say go out with, we're saying that Kira Starmer is like more fuckable.

I hit the town. Yeah, I think. Surveied by the mail, what you get. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just you just going just like, are we, have we just built a floating concentration camp? They're like, yeah, forget about that. Would you have a Toby Carvery with Keir Starmer? Which, right.

Would he, would he go for the gravy first or the cauliflower cheese? This is input like, would he take a big Yorkshire and put all of the roasted side it, or would he have a couple of small Yorkshire's on the side? All right, I think I can't have the big Yorkshire. I'd become trapped inside it. I drown in the gravy. It's becoming more Richard I want even more.

I do it, but I enjoy that. Yeah, that's right. Anyway, anyway, I think that's probably a good place to any leave it for today. This is a criminal political establishment. It's I can't reach the buffet. I left my little step at home. It's a criminal political establishment, but some of the voices and we're taking them all to Toby Carvery.

We're putting all of parliament in a big mini bus and we're taking them to Toby Carvery as a treat. Help. I'm trapped in the custard! We wanted to take them somewhere else, but our caric, an navigation system, keep going back to Toby Carvery. It's only Toby Carvery is taking them up on the sponsorship deal. Oh fuck, we should have done that instead of Taco Bell. I'm so stupid. Anyway, anyway, I think that's about it for today. Thank you for listening to this free

episode. If you want to listen to more episodes that the podcast, of course, there is a bonus episode. It's $5 a month on Patreon, and there's also $10 episodes if you want extra Britonologies or left on reds. Allison, I'm going to record left on red this weekend. That's right. We are. Help, help, I'm drowning in content.

I go into the trash shooter Patreon, but I can't climb back out. I'm legitimately still quite angry. Yeah. I don't have the big relaxation vein moment, really. It's just kind of like simmers. Yeah, and so I'm just going to have to go and take a walk or something. Yeah. That's right.

Well, um, and- So we're wishing you the listeners a very happy, nice little walk. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, go have a uh, So we're wishing you the listeners a very happy, nice little walk. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, go have a walk, give a friend a big hug. Look down to the Toby Confer and meet Kirstaama. And hey, you know what, it's, if you're listening to this and the day it comes out, it is Tuesday, the 22nd of August.

There are still a few days left of Milo. Second five star review today, CUNTS. Get down there. We got two award nominations. It's all happening. And I will answer the question, should you have a Toby Carvery with Kirsta? Yeah. If you're in Milo's audience, shout out during the show, preferably during the emotional climax, would you have a Toby Carvery with Kira Sturmur?

He'll appreciate it, he'll become your real life friend afterwards. I've never had an emotional climax, I always climax in the appropriate way, without less emotions cloud by judgment. I say to my wife, great work. That was classic intercourse. Oh, cool. All right, we'll talk to you on the bonus episode or so you won the free episode.

Bye bye. Bye everyone. Bye bye. you